CHAPTER 20

"Hmm.." Kara sighed and hesitantly stood in front of Frost's bedroom. 'Don't forget to knock, first,' she mentally told herself. In her hands she held a picture of a girl, the one the Joker is supposedly 'with.' No, she did not want Frost to get his hands on this information. But he had warned her. 'Find who he's with or I'll be sure you'll never be around me again.' And the way he touched her…. Okay so what she was doing was awful. Putting this pretty girl in danger. Or wait, she was in danger already wasn't she? Think of it as a good thing. Taking her away from everything… Kara swallowed the lump that formed in her throat. No, that probably wasn't right. She was in love with Frost, was she not? Kara sighed, "Any thing's possible," she said and then she knocked on the door.

Please Lord, let the room be empty. She was getting tired of seeing half-naked whores all over her man. The door opened and a half dressed Frost stood in the door way. He was only wearing dark black boxers. His hair was messy and partially blocking his eyes. He leaned against the door way, a smirk forming on his pale lips. "Finally gave in, huh?" he said. Even though he looked so utterly hot standing there, Kara could only frown. Tears still threatening to escape her eyes. She dropped her head and thrust the paper unto his stomach. "There," she snapped. Frost grabbed the paper from her and held it up to see. A picture of a sexy, young girl appeared in front of him. "How the hell does he manage to get a piece this good looking?" he asked. He dropped his gaze to the now crying Kara.

"What now?" he said, the smallest hint of compassion in his voice. She shook her head and wiped the tears from her eyes, "Jus' tired. I'm going to bed." Kara turned around, letting her red hair block her face from Frost's sharp gaze. He sighed loudly, trying to get her attention. "What's wrong Kara?" he asked. Despite the fact that he would always be a greedy and selfish person, Kara was still his one exception. He didn't want her to cry. He cared about her. But she continued to walk down the hall. "Damn it Kara! Is it about this?" he said, waving the paper in the air. Her back was still turned on him, she was trying to hide the mass of tears that streaked her face. "You didn't have to do this…" he said.

Kara turned around and stomped back to Frost. He could tell she was really hurt this time. "First of all, no I could not! You made me do this, remember? And second, you're so stupid!" she yelled. So it was immature calling him stupid, but it was the first thing to pop into her mind. Frost mirrored the same anger. "Stupid? You're the stupid one! You're the one who just won't go away!" Kara flinched at his words and her voice lowered, "So you want me to just leave, then." It wasn't a question, it was a realization. Frost sighed and his face softened into something Kara had rarely seen. Frost reached out to grab her arm, "Of course I don-" he began to say but was cut off. "Don't touch me!" Kara yelled back and then stepped back some.

"Fine," he said, straining to keep his voice under control, "No, Kara. I don't want you to leave. Even though you can if you ever wanted to." By saying this, Kara saw his face soften even more and almost grow sad. Her tears had stopped and she almost felt stupid herself for acting out at him. But at least she was hearing the truth from him. "And you never have to do anything you don't want to," he added. 'Why does he have to be so ignorant? He's going to get himself killed.' She looked up at Frost and saw something different. She didn't see him as Frost. She saw Cole Smale, who he really was only years ago. With his innocent eyes, she could actually tell his current life didn't satisfy him. She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him. He was much taller than Kara and so she rested her face against his chest,

And he wrapped his arms around her. "Why do you have to do this?" she asked. A low laugh silently escaped his lips, but there was no humor to it. "The bastard stole my money. That's all," he stroked her hair. "You'll get yourself killed, Cole, you're not indestructible," she said. And why exactly was he doing this? He was power-hungry. He sighed into her hair and pulled her away from him. "Just this one thing, Kara. I'll get my money and then…." he looked down at her and was actually nervous. What if she didn't want to?
"Then you and me will escape, okay? Forever…" Kara looked up at him and smiled, "Yeah, I'd like that."

~Emma~

"Uh!" Damn, another headache is approaching. How in the world can I run into a pole? It's sad, I know. But I was walking down the cold, empty streets trying to think, which was going very well. Then out of nowhere a dumb, stupid little yapping dog came shooting out from behind a dumpster and went straight for my ankles. Of course, I squealed and then ran for my life. The little dog had to be no taller than a whole foot, and was a dirty white color. Well now, the stupid dog just won't stop following me.
Here comes the 'pole' part.
I turned around (while still walking) to shoo the dog away and of course end up walking straight into a pole. I turned around again, of course the stupid mutt is gone now! I sighed, 'I need to do something.' I looked up at the nearest street sign, recognized it, and turned right. I won't lie that I'm pretty much freaking out right now. I was going back to his hideout.

I am so hopeless. No, no I'm not, right?…Ugh, I am.

The streets were eerie and empty. But I kept walking anyways. There isn't anything that could scare me. I'm already too messed up. Of course if another miniature mutt came running at me from under that park bench I may squeal. But there were no signs of tiny dogs as I walked safely by the bench. I was walking by another building, this one was filled with people though. I looked inside, but being sure to hide myself. No one wants a weird, psycho to look in on them while they're eating. Okay so it was a restaurant. I could see it was an expensive one too. The walls were a golden color, as were the tables. Which had silk tablecloths draped over them and fancy silverware. And I mean all the spoons and forks and everything. The table closest to me held an older couple. But I looked to what they were eating. My mouth watered. Real food. And not just cheap fast food or chewy gas station hot dogs. Ewe, what a bad experience. I had food poisoning for days. Real, tasty, hot food. I reached into my pockets. Hmm, two dollars. Damn.

I continued to walk on when the sudden familiarity of the restaurant made me stop. I looked back into the restaurant and noticed the familiar set-up of the tables and the pictures along the walls. That counter there, where you pay. The dismayed waitress holding the phone…. That night I tried to escape the Joker. And I wouldn't let anyone help me.

I felt tears stinging my eyes and I walked quickly away from the restaurant. Okay, Emma, pull yourself together. And then I heard a sound that tore my little freedom away from me. Thunder. Oh man. Just great. I hurried down the street but it was no use. Rain was falling in buckets and I was already drenched. "Are you serious!" I shouted. "Rain, wow rain. Okay, whatever." I was getting pissed now but I couldn't do anything about it. Drenched, I unhappily walked down the rest of this street before I turned left. And froze. The woods… the little stretch of sidewalk, less than a mile…. across the road and into the woods. I sighed. Here goes nothing.

I walked briskly down the little stretch of sidewalk. No one was outside. That's a good thing, I guess. Why had Gotham become so isolated? I didn't know much about the city, but it was a city. A big city at that. And I would never think for it to be this dead. Especially at night. A breeze picked up and the rain slowed some. And I actually enjoyed it. Okay so I've always hated rain. When I had to go somewhere, it would frizz my hair. Or mess up my make-up. But on days where I had nothing to do, I would actually sit out in the rain. Something about the rain was just calming. And today was one of those days where I wasn't going anywhere special (okay, that's an understatement), I was just walking. But it was dark out and it was like what? January something… January 24th I think. My heart suddenly dropped and my good feeling went away.

I suddenly realized I'd missed everything. I missed Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years! All of this passed by invisibly in Toby's apartment. I felt warm tears streak my face, along with cold, wet raindrops. And I almost lost balance. I looked up and realized that I had made it to the end of the sidewalk and had just stepped off onto the road. I walked slowly across the road. No, there were no cars coming, I was safe, and into the almost invisible opening into the woods. A gravel driveway stretched in front of me. January 24th, that's what it had said at Chateau Place earlier. On the granite counter top. Happy-almost- Birthday, Emma. Only 3 more days.

Lucky enough, the trees became good rain-protectors. Sure, I was drenched. But the rain was no longer hitting me and somehow giving me an enormous headache. I seemed to just know my way down this driveway because soon the building became visible. I stopped and peered up at it. 'How come it's so dark?' I walked forward and opened the big, metal door. The door was loud but following it was silence. I went inside and the garage scared me even more. The tables were gone. The old hooks hanging from the ceiling were gone, as well as the lights. And the moonlight shined though the large garage windows, barely illuminating the garage. It was grey and utterly silent.

Fear struck through me and I made a mad dash to the left corner of the garage where the huge, metal door to the staircase waited me. I opened it, ran inside, and closed it shut. Leaning against the door, I realized I was out of breath. That was indescribably freaky. My wet, shaking hand grabbed onto the railing and I pulled myself up one step at a time. This whole place was dark. And only the pale moonlight lit up the staircase. I made it to the second floor and opened the door slowly. My heart was really pounding. My breath was shaky. Of course it made since for me to be ..scared. I was returning to…his …. place.

But the silence that followed the door shutting was too weird. My brows furrowed as I scanned the hallway which was dimly lit from the window at the other end. I slowly walked down the hall and held an ear up to the closest door. Nothing. I walked further, skipping a few rooms and coming to the one I always seen the Joker in when it came down to business. I listened for sounds but heard nothing. I walked a little down the hallway to the last room and heard a very quiet noise. It was a mix between static and voices, low and mumbling. I grabbed the doorknob and opened the door. It was abandoned except a television which was on. Spongebob. I laughed and then realized this was where Charity was staying. I walked back to the planning room and opened it as well.

Nothing. At all. Just a huge, empty room. I froze and realization kicked in. No one was here. I rushed down the hall, opening all of the doors. Nothing. It was deserted. I went back to the staircase and hurried back up the stairs, stumbling countless times. I raced up the last few steps and nearly fell through the door leading to the third floor. A step forward and I did fall, tripping over my own feet I landed hard on the carpet. My chin stung and I felt the odd sensation that it might start bleeding. In a hurry, I got up from the floor and walked slowly down the hall. All of these rooms were always isolated. I opened the first door on the right. It was the grey room I stayed in the first day I was brought here. It was empty. And so were the others. Then finally I reached the center room on the left side of the hallway. I opened the door. This was my room.

And was utterly surprised to see everything still there. The blankets were neatly tucked into the side of the bed. Pillows were perfectly placed. I walked in and saw a vase on the nightstand next to my bed. A red rose. I felt my eyes begin to sting with tears. And then my eyes caught something shining on the bed. I walked over and sure enough, there it was. My black and silver dog collar against the perfectly white sheets. I picked it up and gripped it in my hands. An oddly I enough, I laughed. "Wow, of all things…" I said.

This whole place was gone. Deserted. My chest hurt and I began to cry. I climbed onto the bed and laid myself down. Then I just stared at the ceiling. Thinking.

~~~~
The nest few days went by like hell.
Like, I was a crack head and was going cold turkey.
Maybe not that drastic.

I used the rest of my pocket money. A whole whopping two dollars. But you'd be surprised how many cheap bags of Cheetos you can get. It killed me to see the room so alive. My so-called wardrobe was still in the huge white dresser. Even the last towel I used was flopped on the bathroom door. But I got use to my eeriness and moved on. Okay so I was not doing okay. Living off of sink water and imitation cheetos wasn't very healthy. But I was so…. sad. The first time in my life and I actually didn't have anyone. For the past two days, all I've done is eat, sleep, and take really, really long baths. I was surprised this place still had hot water.

And then I was even more depressed that following today was my birthday. 25. Doesn't that mean I can legally rent a car. Or was that 23...? Oh well. I officially have no money. And then it hit me.
What the hell am I going to do?

Without money, transportation, and someone to help me, I was as good as dead. I would in no way allow myself to become a hobo. I might as well just wither away right here. But I couldn't do that either. As much as I've been through, I am still so afraid of dying alone. I sighed. And began thinking of the past. My childhood. Those simple days when I didn't know what was good or bad. What was wrong or right. I was 6. I was naïve but I knew some things. That a bloody mother on an apartment floor shouldn't be there. And that demonic smile on her son's face shouldn't have been there.

I shivered and switched to something else. When I was little I had this very hugely insane crush on Leonardo DiCaprio. Teehee. I remember Ally did too. I think she secretly still does. But Ally and I would stay up watching the Titanic. I swear we both knew every word to that friggin' movie. And Ally would always tear up when you seen his beautiful, frozen corpse floating deeper into the Atlantic. It made me laugh just thinking about it.

Wow, I really missed my big sister. Okay so yes, she could very annoying. Unbearable at sometimes. And now that she's grown, she's so motherly and those things don't happen as much. But she was still Ally. And I remember about a week after I recently returned home she said four magic words, 'You can be Rose.' We watched Titanic. I pretty much said all of Rose's lines word for word. And afterwards, I realized how much I really missed her.

And then she made me chocolate chip cookies. A little burnt, but that's all it took.
And I'd told her I'd never leave her again. I can only imagine how upset she must be.

I didn't notice at first until my face was wet that I was crying. And what started as small, teardrops, soon turned into rolling, blubbering waterfalls falling from my eyes. I suddenly felt as if my chest might cave in on itself. And I had to wrap my self around a pillow for fear I might actually lose it. I sobbed until I made myself sick. Let's just say cheetos aren't as pretty when they're coming back up. And then I sobbed some more. Finally, I began feeling better. Until…

I thought of my old fat cat Garfield. He was orange and fat, hence the name. I remembered how I grew up with him. He used to love playing with string. And if you pulled it down along the couch he would grip onto the cushions and walk sideways. And he loved his milk. (Mama said no lasagna). Then when I was 14, and he too was 14, he finally passed on. And then the waterworks began again. I continued to cry about the dumbest things. Some weren't even sad. Some were happy and exciting memories. Like my first trip to Disney Land and I rode the teacups. And afterwards, puked. That's hilarious and yet somehow I just cried.

And this is where I am now.

Currently wrapped around a soggy pillow, the tears beginning to dry. Willing myself to think of nothing but… nothingness. I sighed and suddenly felt numbness. I guess that was enough 'feeling' for a while and so I slowly drifted asleep.

Blissful dreams. Something about a peculiar fat cat eating giant cheetos. I was actually enjoying myself when an odd movement caught my attention. Too tired to move, blink, or even think I just laid there, still not currently aware that someone was in my room. Huh, my room. It sounded so… right?
"Emma."
But it sounded like this to me…"Uhmma."
What? I could hear something but it sounded inhuman.
Or maybe I wasn't hearing right.
"Emma is that you?"
Once again I couldn't hear right…"Uhmma soo?"
….? I'm still not clear as to why I can't hear.
And then a soft weight was lifted from my face and suddenly my cheek became cold. I shivered and curled into the fluffy, warm blankets.
"Emma! It is you!"
The voice scared me to death. The sudden clarity and high-pitched voice sounded ten times clearer and ten times louder. Except I knew too well that voice couldn't be real. That would be too good to be true. "Emma! Please…" The voice pleaded with me.
No, I will not fall for your stupid games.
Who mine?
What…no…. YOU!
It's not me. I promise you that.
And I should believe you why?
Take the covers off.
Answer me.

Silence. Fine, come and go as you may, stupid good-Emma conscience. But, I might as well. I slowly took the covers off and opened my eyes.
Oh. My. Goodness.
"Oh Emma, you're awake! Oh Emma…I, I, I've missed you! I thought I lost you and you…"
Tears streamed down her pretty face. And my sister collapsed on the bed. Despite my past crying-fit and my disbelief that she may still be unreal, I sounded perfectly calm. "When did you get here? How did you get here? How did you know I was here?" I asked. She sniffed and looked up at me through blurry, tear-filled eyes.
"I know things Emma. And I know when my baby sister is in quite a complex predicament."
"I was just thinking of you," I said. Am I dreaming? "Ditto, sis," she replied. Then she looked at me, as if I may not be real, and I did the same to her, and then we hugged. For what seemed like forever. When we pulled apart, an agonizing thought played through my mind. And I had to tell her. "Ally, you shouldn't be here." I said. She looked at me for a long time and then nodded her head. "I know Emma. Actually, I know a lot." The sound of her voice pressed at how sincere she was. And I began to think that maybe she knew more than what meets the eye. I looked sternly at her and she could guess what I was thinking.

"Emma. I know. And as much as I am….petrified at this situation you're in… I still love you. No matter what. And I'm not leaving, yet. Not until I know you'll be okay," she said. I nodded my head, "Deal." She smiled and laid a reassuring hand on my knee. Mom-ish, but she's still my sister. And then her eyebrows perked up. "Oh! I almost forgot!" She quickly walked over to the desk next to the door and grabbed a brown bag. She smiled happily at me while I gave her a questioning glance. "Chinese."

The sudden thought made me burst into laughter and she joined me. We laughed and I wasn't quite sure what was so funny. "How-how old is that?" I said. She smiled and said, "Not old. I just got it. It's fresh, actually." I shook my head, "How'd you know I'd be here?" She smiled brightly at me again, "Sister intuition." I laughed.
And so we sat.
Cross-legged on my bed,
eating Chinese food.
which was definitely an upgrade from stale cheetos.