Carol awoke from a nightmare with a sharp aching in her core. The darkness crowded around her. Striking a match, she lit the lantern on the bedside table, casting the ghosts that haunted her back into the shadows.
What have I done? She thought about the night before, the pain she had put them both through. For what? No matter what she did, how far away she went, it would always be with her.
It wasn't just the extraction of Daryl from her life; something else was amiss. It couldn't have been that easy to get rid of the threat from the Saviors; if she knew one thing from her miserable life, it was that nothing ever was.
The thought had her sitting up, reaching for a cigarette. Lighting it, she breathed in the noxious smoke, trying to smother the burst of worry that was rising up and twisting inside her.
"Damn it," she cursed herself. She had been a desperate fool.
Daryl had lied to her, fed her only sweet words. Of course he would, she hadn't left him any choice; she had practically begged him to. And she had swallowed them without any questions, wanting them to be true, wanting everyone to be okay so that she could be. But they weren't okay, they couldn't be. Not in this world. Why else would Jesus and Daryl have come to the Kingdom? They had been looking for back up. They needed people.
Quickly, she got out of bed and threw her jacket on. Shouldering her gun, she blew out the lantern and made her way towards the Kingdom, looking for Morgan. She needed answers.
Once the smoke cleared from the battle at Alexandria, the survivors made their rounds to check for the wounded, mourn their losses. Rick and Carl carried a wounded Michonne to the infirmary where Tara tended to her wounds. Jesus and Maggie made preparations for Sasha's body to be transported to Hilltop to be laid to rest near Abraham's remains. But Gabriel would still say a few words in remembrance as soon as they could all come together.
Upon shedding her armor, Carol lingered on the steps outside with her gun at her hip. Morgan was deep in thought; she knew he was trying to come to some place of acceptance, like she was, about the things they had to do. Her time in the Kingdom had helped her to realize an important truth. They belonged here, among the living—together—trying to make a life worth living. To carve out an existence that was about more than just surviving. To really live with whatever time they had left. They had to make their losses matter, make the best of the sacrifices. To honor their dead by going on. There would be times of peace, but they needed to fight for it.
"We can do this," said Carol, mustering the confidence. She reached out and took his hand in hers. "For them."
Morgan turned to her, the guilt he carried evident in his long face. He smiled sadly, his eyes a woeful brown. "Sorry again about knocking you out."
Carol almost laughed after all they'd been through together. "You said I was your favorite," she teased, bringing some light back to his eyes.
She swatted her hand at him, dispelling the tension. "Bygones."
"I was just wondering what my Jenny would have said about all this. If she had— if she had lived to see it."
Carol's smile faded slightly. "She would have understood, she would have fought too for the things she believed in, because she loved you." She squeezed his hand and released it.
Morgan nodded slowly in acknowledgement, something new dawning across his appearance. A burdensome weight was beginning to shift.
Ezekiel approached them with a majestic stride. "Carol, you are a magnificent champion. With you by our side, the Kingdom shall certainly be avenged."
Carol rolled her eyes. "Don't be such a drama—king."
"Feisty! It seems Shiva now has some competition." He chuckled jovially. "Don't dishearten, Carol, I shall find some chocolate to your liking. It is my vow to you, fair maiden, that the well be replenished generously to your satisfaction."
Exasperated, Carol threw up her hands at him, hiding her smile at his theatrics.
Ezekiel turned to Morgan, his brown eyes beaming with amusement. "Yes, indeed Morgan. Together, we fight on for this new day. Full, festive, faithful, and free. And now," he bowed towards Carol, "feisty."
After making his rounds, checking that the perimeter of Alexandria was secure, Daryl headed back towards the center of town. He had seen Carol arrive through the haze of gunfire, saving them again, along with the Kingdom and Hilltop. It had been a welcomed surprise, reviving him, strengthening the attack on the Saviors, just as he was beginning to lose hope. Thankfully, she hadn't been among the dead or wounded, but he still felt just as desperate to find her. Up and down the streets he searched for her, longing to see her, to touch her—to smell her—wondering where she was hiding out. Finally, he spotted her near the infirmary, talking to Morgan and Ezekiel, and quickened his pace.
"Thanks for comin'," he said to Ezekiel upon his approach, knowing that Rick would have done the same if he'd not been otherwise preoccupied. He extended his hand to the man.
"The time for sitting things out has come to an abrupt end, my friend," Ezekiel stated assuredly, shaking Daryl's hand. "The Kingdom shall fight the good fight with Alexandria."
"What changed your mind?" Daryl looked at Carol and Morgan, wondering what they might have said to convince him.
"You," Carol said with a tearful smile, standing up and stepping forward to hug him.
Stunned by the sudden feel of her crashing into him, enveloping him in her warmth, Daryl hesitated before letting himself wrap his arms around her. He let out a sigh as he buried his face in her neck, then breathed her in. She was home.
Offering them a more private reunion, Morgan cleared his throat and guided Ezekiel towards the infirmary. "You can tear it out and cut it down. You can burn it and throw it all away. But there's nothing more precious than watching it bloom and return," Ezekiel expounded joyfully.
A crease in his brow, Morgan seemed baffled by the riddle.
Ezekiel grinned, patting Morgan on the shoulder as the two walked away. "Hope," he clarified, looking back at the couple embracing. "May it always guide us."
Clinging to Carol, Daryl took another deep breath, feeling a lump hardening in his throat. After he left the Kingdom for Hilltop, Daryl hadn't really allowed himself to think about how much he missed her; a skill learned long ago. The pain had just been too raw. There had been more than enough going on at Hilltop to provide him with sufficient distraction. It was only at night, when he was idle and alone, that Daryl was haunted by the feel of her gentle fingers ghosting on his skin. But seeing her again—feeling her in his arms—was quite overwhelming; the relief from all his suppressed emotions flooded his eyes.
"Didn't think I'd see you again," he admitted when he felt like he could speak again.
"I know," she said, sniffling. She was trembling too.
He tightened his arms around her, steadying them both.
"It wasn't until after you left that I'd realized what a fool I was. I'm sorry." She squeezed him as she sobbed.
It was then he knew she'd found out about Glenn and Abraham. His eyes grew more sodden and he rubbed his hands up and down her back in soothing strokes, comforting them both. He was glad she hadn't been there to see it.
Carol pulled away to look at him, still holding him by the arms. "Morgan told me they had kept you prisoner. If I had known, I would have—"
"I know," he interrupted, wiping her tears while ignoring his own. He saw the guilt on her face and his heart seized in his chest. None of it was her fault; he didn't want her taking any responsibility for what had happened. "Shh," he assuaged her, gathering her in his arms again. Even as he held her, he couldn't believe she was standing there with him. He pulled back just enough to see her blue eyes with his own, touching her cheek to make sure she was real. "I didn't want you to… I just wanted you to be okay."
"I know. You gave me the space I thought I needed. But it just made everything more clear," she said, brushing away the fringe of hair that fell across his eyes. "I loved you for that. I love you," she corrected herself.
There was an intensity in her eyes as she looked at him, but his gaze didn't falter. "You fight for those you love," she continued, thumbing away his tears. "I had to remember that. And then I knew I wasn't lost at all."
Without warning, he kissed her. Boldly and without shame. Embraced her under the wide open sky, claiming her in front of everyone. He felt her fingers threading through his hair, sending tingling currents of energy down his neck, restoring him.
When he was out of breath, he stopped to rest his forehead against hers. "Sorry, I've been thinkin' about doin' that since I saw you last. Couldn't wait any longer."
"Did you hear me complaining?" She kept caressing his scalp with her fingers.
"Probably shoulda done that a long time ago," he confessed.
She lifted her head up. "It's been on your mind that long, huh?"
He blushed, smiling bashfully.
"I missed you," she whispered as she watched his cheeks bloom a rosy shade.
He studied her eyes. They were still shimmering with her regret. "You're here now," his voice low with gratitude. For how long? With his doubt creeping back, he left his arms wrapped around her to keep her close. It felt natural for her to be there. He didn't want to imagine the alternatives.
They stayed that way, basking in the presence of each other as time dissolved around them.
"Oh!" she exclaimed, leaning back against his embrace to reach into her bag. "I brought gifts, just to... sweeten the homecoming. Show how thankful I was."
He hummed. "As if seein' you wasn't enough?"
She smiled, pulling out a bottle of whiskey. Top shelf. Spendy.
He whistled and scratched at the scruff on his chin, growing uneasy. "What exactly did you have in mind?" Daryl wasn't sure he should drink with her. The last time he drank, his anger had gotten the best of him and turned destructive. Letting his anger loose was not something he wanted to do with her around. Nothing good would come of that.
She must have seen something on his face. "I recommend sharing."
"There's more," she said coyly.
The expression on her face made him suddenly bolder. "I hope so," he growled and kissed her again.
Wrapping her arms around his neck, she quickly deepened the kiss, breaking away before it got too heated. "Hold this, please." She pressed the bottle into his hand before reaching into her bag again and plucking out a small container filled with strawberries. His favorite.
The corner of his mouth raised up as his voice quivered with appreciation. "You remembered." He wasn't that surprised, but it touched him that she had. "Are those all for me or do I have to share them, too?" he grumbled teasingly.
"They are for you to do what you'd like."
"Oh?" His eyebrow raised expectantly, eyes glinting with a touch of mischief.
Feeling suddenly warm, Carol let out a nervous giggle, noticing how his cheeks had flushed.
He shook his head, glancing at his boots as he laughed at himself. "Should probably put 'em away for later though," he said, recovering, handing her the bottle back. "Gotta go gather everyone up. Maggie wants to say somethin'."
"Alright," she said, replacing the items in her bag with large grin. "It's a date."
From behind a curtain of dark hair, he looked at her shyly, something fluttering in his gut, then nodded.
Carol's smile fell when she saw Tobin approaching from down the street and she shifted uneasily on her feet. "You go on ahead, I gotta take care of something first."
"Alright," said Daryl, feeling awkward again as he leaned in to kiss her cheek.
Heading off to the infirmary, he nodded to Tobin as he passed by.
"Carol, you came back," Daryl heard Tobin say and glanced over his shoulder to see them candidly embrace.
"Hi, Tobin," she said, hugging the man. "Can we talk?"
The door to the infirmary opened with a needling creak.
"Daryl," Tara called for him, distracting him briefly from the other reunion.
"Yeah," Daryl said, facing Tara. "I'm comin'." Turning his head again, he got a curious glimpse of Carol walking away with the other man, her hand on his arm.
"Maggie said to help you get everyone down by the guard tower."
His head snapped back. "Okay. How's Michonne?"
"A little giddy on pain killers, thanks to Hilltop. Rick's on his way out now."
They gathered up the living, first to honor their dead and the sacrifices they had made so that the survivors could go on.
"Greater love has no one but this," said Gabriel solemnly, marking the end of the memorial service, "to lay down one's life for one's friends."
As the service concluded, Daryl found himself pondering the preacher's words. He reflected on his memories of working with Sasha on the council when they were back at the prison, of ribbing each other on night shifts to help each other stay awake while they were on watch. They had been on many runs together, depended on one another. He'd fought alongside her, admired her keen focus, understood her anger. She was tough. It was rumored that Sasha had sacrificed her life to spare them. Daryl knew it was true when he heard it. He had spent enough time under Negan's thumb to know the kind of choices she'd been left with, and Sasha had chosen the hardest of them. He was sure of it.
While everyone was still gathered around, Maggie gave a big speech, uniting the forces of Alexandria with Hilltop and the Kingdom, inviting Rick and Ezekiel to speak to the crowd about their plans and answer their many questions. Afterwards, there was talk of returning to each settlement to prepare for things to come. It was a grim time, but they had hope that together they could stop Negan.
When it was over, Daryl made his way through the crowd, towards those warm blue eyes standing in the back that held his. There was a slight feeling of trepidation rumbling in his gut as he approached Carol.
"So, are you stayin' or just visitin'?" he asked warily. He wanted to know how long he had with her.
"Rick's got a handle on things here at Alexandria," she said. "But the Kingdom needs a little more work. They've been sheltered from all this and need more training for things to come."
Nodding remotely, he expected as much. Of course she wasn't staying. He grew anxious, wondering how he fit into her life.
"Carol tells me you're quite the skilled woodsman," Ezekiel boomed beside him. "Tracking, hunting, fighting, setting traps. All around superhero. We could use that knowledge, if you're willing to impart it?"
Despite all the things he had done, it still surprised Daryl when people deliberately asked for his help, and it took a moment to register the man's request for his assistance. Leaning back on his heels, he glanced at Carol who was smiling proudly at him, her eyes sparkling brightly. He felt his chest grow warm. Knowing that Carol would be there too, his reply came easily.
"Uh, yeah," he said, rubbing at his cheek with his thumb, trying to wipe the disbelief from his face. He nodded towards Carol. "I go where she goes."
"A most excellent plan," said Ezekiel with a victorious grin, shaking Daryl's hand before departing.
His cheeks glowing, Daryl shoved his hands in his pockets and kicked casually at the dirt with his boots. "Superhero, huh?"
"His word." Carol raised her hand in a dismissive motion, deflecting the blame.
They both laughed lightly.
Making their way back to the house they shared with Rick, Carl, and Michonne, they walked into the house, holding hands as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
Others had gathered there to mark Sasha's passing. A celebration of life, Maggie had called it. The living room was full of survivors, not unlike the first night of their arrival in Alexandria. This time, however, faces were less grim, despite the reason for their coming together. Sasha's death had been a sign, Maggie had insisted, that they could beat the Saviors.
"Maggie," Carol said, embracing the pregnant woman with tears in her eyes. "What you said earlier. I know your father would be so proud of you."
"Thanks, Carol." Pulling back, she looked between Carol and Daryl and grinned widely. "And if Glenn were here, he would say: 'Finally!' If the hand holdin' means what I think it means?"
Daryl blushed, averting his eyes, and Carol shrugged her shoulders, smiling.
Maggie let out a little shriek of joy before hugging a crimson Daryl. "At least now there's something good to celebrate!" Releasing Daryl, she added, "Come! Join us!"
Daryl was still stunned by Maggie's acceptance of him. He had watched her whole family get murdered by others and hadn't been able to do a damn thing about any of it. She had told him he wasn't to blame for Glenn's death, but he still felt guilty. Daryl wasn't sure how he could ever make it up to her, except be there for her when the baby was born.
They'd all been through some difficult times, which made it all the more important to take time to celebrate and really be with one another. Carol took out the bottle of whiskey from her bag and handed it to Rick.
"Drink? You look like you could use one," she said.
With his hand on Carol's back, Daryl nodded in agreement. "Take a load off, man."
Fingering his beard, Rick took the bottle from Carol. "Macallan," he read aloud, clearly impressed. "Where'd you find this?"
"I may have liberated it from the Kingdom," said Carol with a sly grin, "among some other things." She rolled her eyes up, giving her best impression of innocence.
"Well, if the Kingdom is gonna take some of our best people, I say they owe us. Ezekiel told me the two of you will be leaving with them tomorrow."
Rick regarded Carol and Daryl with a warm smile, taking in how closely they were standing near one another, when the front door opened, and Tobin entered the house.
As he came in, his eyes scanned the crowd until he noticed Carol standing beside Daryl and paused. She stood straighter, slightly apprehensive as she met his eyes. Tobin acknowledged her with a nod and glanced at Daryl with a resigned acceptance, smiling sadly before he moved on, joining Tara and Rosita in the kitchen where they were pouring drinks. The blond man appeared somewhat dejected.
"Curiouser and curiouser," Rick mused as if just realizing something. "Guess I'm not the only one who needs a drink."
An awkward pause rose up between the three of them.
Rick raised his eyebrows and inclined his head in acquiescence. "I'll go get some glasses."
"I'll be right back," Carol said to both of them, excusing herself. "I see someone I haven't said hello to yet."
While Rick headed for the kitchen, Carol walked over to Carl, glancing over at Tobin on her way.
Daryl frowned, turning around.
"She seems happy," Maggie remarked, coming up to him.
Daryl looked over to see Carol holding Judith and talking animatedly to Carl and Enid. It certainly seemed true.
"The way she looks at you," Maggie continued. "It says a lot. You treat her right."
Eying Maggie with uncertainty, his shoulders sagged, wondering if he could really give Carol what she needed.
"You seem worried. What happened?" Maggie sat down on a wooden bench by the window, and indicated for him to join her.
Sitting down beside her, he tried to explain what he was feeling. He shook his head, hoping the words would fall into place. "I heard her say the words with my own ears, but…"
Daryl shrugged. "Just don't know where her head is at." He was full of doubt. He had seen Carol with Tobin earlier and was wondering what had transpired between them. Carol left, but then she came back. When would she leave him again?
"Her head? Or her heart?"
"What if there's someone else?"
"Who? Daryl, I've seen the way she looks at you. Like you're the only man in the room. You fill her with light."
He still wasn't convinced.
She scooted closer to him from where she had been sitting. "You know what Glenn did the first time I told him I loved him?" Maggie asked wistfully. "He ran off—with Rick to find my father of course—but I was so cross with him. He didn't believe me, Daryl. Didn't say anything to me about what he was feeling, just pushed me away. I thought he was going to leave me. I didn't know he was feelin' the same way until he told me. He was scared. Thought it was selfish, and that he would let y'all down if he let himself love me. He thought he couldn't have both. He had it wrong, of course, and when he realized that, he did something about it."
Daryl wondered if it was true, what she was telling him. Probably was, knowing Glenn; he always put Maggie first.
"Go to her," Maggie encouraged him, nudging his shoulder. "Talk with her. Get to the bottom of it if you think something's wrong."
"You deserve happiness, too, Daryl," Maggie declared. "You can be. Life is too short not to go after what you want. That's what my daddy told me back at the farm. After Glenn came into my life." She held her father's pocket watch in her hand. "Glenn would want you to have what we had." She took Daryl's hand and laid the watch in his palm, closing it. "Make the most of your life with the time that you have."
He examined the watch in his hand, gravely missing the men who used to carry it. He thought about how devoted Hershel and Glenn had been to people they cared about, the lessons they taught him about forgiveness. It was quite remarkable to him, that even though they were gone, they still had something to teach him.
Daryl's eyes were wet as he leaned into her and she put her arm around him, hugging him to her side. She kissed him on the forehead. "Love fearlessly. That's what Glenn would say. That's what he did."
"But the baby…"
She saw the concern in his face, his unshed tears. Touching her belly in a proud manner, she smiled.
"This baby is gonna have so much love in its life," Maggie assured him. "Look around. Remember that day at the nursery? I'll never forget it, what you did. From the day Judith was born, you've always been a great uncle. You know, me and Glenn had been talkin' before… we discussed what would happen to the baby if something happened to us. We knew it could. We both thought, if y'all agreed, that you and Carol could, you know, serve as godparents. If anything happens, and it might, it would make me feel better knowing the two of you would be lookin' out for the little one."
"You sure?"
"Mmm hmm. Certain."
"I wouldn't even know—"
"You do. You have. I've seen it with my own eyes."
Daryl smiled as he imagined it. "Kid's gonna be tough as nails."
"Absolutely. Now go. Be happy."
He nudged her arm and stood. "Thanks," he said deeply, pausing before walking away. "You're gonna be a great mom."
Maggie smiled up at him with watery eyes. "Thanks, Daryl."
Daryl moved through the room, towards Carol who was standing in the kitchen by the beverages, wiping down the counter, cleaning up a spill. But before he got there, Rick grabbed his arm as he passed by.
"Brother," he said, raising his glass unsteadily, spilling some of the liquid on the ground, "I started without you." To say Rick was a little lit was an understatement.
Daryl fought a smile. "I can see that."
"Tobin and Rosita wanted to do shots." Rick frowned. "I don't think she should have been drinking." There was a short pause as he thought about it, then shrugged.
"I love you, man," he said to Daryl, his eyes sincere if not rather pickled. He leaned in to hug Daryl soundly. "I'm gonna miss you. Both of you."
"Yeah, okay, lightweight." Daryl humored the man, patting him on the back, and then continued on until he was standing beside Carol. "World loves a happy drunk," he muttered under his breath.
"I love you," Rick said, collapsing on the sofa beside Michonne who was sitting tolerantly on the couch, watching him. "I love this woman," he announced to everyone. Cheers of congratulations went up around the room. "I love you, son," he called to Carl who was still talking with Enid in the corner.
Carl shook his head and smiled. "I love you too, Dad."
"Just look at those two over there, how cozy they are," Rick gushed, pointing at Daryl and Carol who were staring at each other affectionately. "They lo—"
Hearing enough, Michonne pulled the drink out of his hand. "Okay, I'm cutting you off."
Rick smiled lazily, snuggling up to her. "You just want your way with me."
"Oh, brother," she said calmly, rolling her eyes. "And I'm the one with the concussion. Did you eat anything today?"
While chewing on his lip, Daryl watched as Carol poured him a drink, and he accepted it without thinking. Glancing down to study the amber liquid in the glass, he swirled it around, contemplating what Maggie had just said to him.
Tilting his head, he gave Carol a pensive look and cleared his throat. "So, what was all that with Tobin?" he asked, his voice cool despite how unsettled he felt inquiring. He briefly wondered if the man had gotten his own package of strawberries.
"An honest mistake." Carol looked away quickly, embarrassed. "It's over."
"Alright," Daryl conceded, not wanting to pry. He wasn't going to force her to talk about it. Swirling his drink again, he watched the liquid slosh the sides of the glass and considered taking a sip.
Carol glanced at Daryl uneasily, knowing he deserved more of an answer. She took a sip from her glass, then let out a sigh.
"I never loved him, Daryl," she confessed, still avoiding his eyes. "I wasn't sure I was gonna stay, but I needed... comfort. So I went looking for it. Chose someone I wasn't attached to, never would be. Just needed to feel— At first, I tried to pretend I was okay, and I needed things to be easy, uncomplicated… so I could be free to go. No strings." She looked at him finally, and her eyes shined with remorse. "I couldn't tell you. It was like you told me before, if I had turned to you, and we had... I wouldn't have been able to go. And I really needed to."
It made sense to Daryl; he understood. She had been hurting, and he had no right to judge how she had dealt with her pain. He'd made plenty of bad decisions; how could he fault her for making one that she obviously regretted?
Leaning against the wall, he turned to Carol, seeing her completely, with all her imperfections. Daryl was stone cold sober, the drink in his hand, untouched and forgotten, no longer needing liquid courage to say what he felt.
"I love you," he said softly, touching her face, letting his bent finger glide across the smooth surface of her cheek.
Swallowing a lump, Carol smiled through her unshed her tears. "I've always known. But it's still nice to hear." Letting her body sink towards his, she gave him a firm kiss.
Daryl groaned his objection as she pulled away, the taste of her lingering sweetly on his lips. He wanted to be alone with her, but he knew he had to wait. Trying his best to be patient, he put his arm around her conspiratorially. "Now, where are them strawberries at?"