Chapter 18!

Title: "Ramen and Regrets"

Disclaimer: I won nothing!!

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The darkening sun was sinking further down towards the horizon.

His sandal kicked against a little rock in front of him.

Kakashi was growing a little impatient.

He had to wait for Team Kakashi to deliver a summary mission report without him, who wasn't originally assigned to their latest mission.

He had been standing outside the Hokage Quarter's entrance for only a couple minutes…. But his mind was wandering to places he didn't want it to travel.

Last night.

He felt terrible.

He had found the perfect way to apologize to her about scaring her so much that afternoon… which had hurt him just as much.

Having to see her cry because of the things he said….

But he went too far last night.

Even though he spent the rest of the night laying next to her, somewhat wishing that he hadn't had come to his senses when he heard her voice cry out softly underneath him… he still regretted that he had pushed too far…

But she wasn't even fazed.

She didn't even seem to realize what he was thinking about when he was kissing her neck… which he was grateful for, but he knew that she should definitely be more attentive when it comes to him.

He always tried to be careful… but last night he slipped… she needed to make sure to stop him if that ever happened again.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto burst through the doors, running towards him excitedly. "So where are we going?!"

Kakashi forgot to think of a place to go with the team… after he was the one who suggested a team outing.

But of course, he had ulterior motives…

Even if he couldn't be alone with her just yet, he'd be happy just being around her.

"Wherever you want…" Kakashi spoke up after a moment of hesitation, looking up from the over-excited face of Naruto to a pink-haired girl walking through the doors.

He barely realized that he had definitely asked the wrong person just as soon as he heard the words "Ichiraku Ramen!" shouted at him.

Not the best place… but Kakashi agreed, secretly planning on sitting in between Naruto and Sakura when they got there.

………………………………………………..........................................................……..

I steadily kept my pace next to Kakashi-sensei.

I was careful not to look over at him, otherwise I would want to walk closer to Kakashi-sensei, and confuse Naruto and Sai, who were walking behind us.

But I was happy just walking next to him.

....

Things were a little different from usual between us.

Last night was something different.

I bet he was still feeling bad about it.

I had no idea why he was so hard on himself…

I wanted to say something…. Anything that would ease his mind.

But I definitely couldn't talk to him about that when we were in public, let alone when somebody was dragging me away from Kakashi.

I turned around to identify the person connected to the hand on my wrist.

Naruto.

He hushed at me, glancing at the back of Kakashi's head, then back at me.

I gave him a look that I knew said I thought he was crazy.

But I joined him nonetheless, knowing that if I had walked back to Kakashi-sensei's side… it would seem a little weird to Naruto... and maybe even to Sai.

"This is our opportunity… after all these years." Naruto whispered to me and a slightly-confused Sai, excitedly.

I listened, willing to give him a doubt.

"What's behind Kakashi-sensei's mask!?" Naruto announced a little louder as our pace slowed away from him. That benifit of a doubt went out the window.

"Behind his mask?" Sai asked with his normal voice. Naruto hushed him.

Kakashi seemed completely oblivious…. Walking with his hands in his pockets, staring ahead of him.

...

Then it hit me....

....

This was a problem.

I already knew what was behind Kakashi-sensei's mask… intimately.

I could feel my eyes widen with a bit of fear, but Naruto must've misinterpreted it… he smiled at me like I had just agreed to help him in his evil plan.

Sai's face didn't change.

Naruto took notice.

"Come on, don't you want to see what he's been hiding underneath that thing?!" Naruto questioned a placid Sai. Sai looked over to Kakashi-sensei's back.

"Not really…" He answered without spirit.

"What if he has big lips?" Sai's eyebrow twitched a little. I got the idea that he was effected by the mental-image of Kakashi-sensei with big lips. I, on the other hand, was getting a little disturbed… he didn't have big lips. They were really well-shaped and addicting. "What if he has a pointy mouth?" Naruto continued, his tone getting even more mischievous. Sai shot a narrowed glance back to Kakashi, definitely getting into it. I had the urge to shoot down that age-old theory. too. "What about buckteeth?" Naruto offered, growing more and more evil. Sai's face was growing more and more curious.

His teeth are perfect! I wanted to shout it.

"or…." Naruto began. "A… giant… mole…"

WHAAT?!

Sai's face suddenly turned serious. His eyes were calculative…

That was face he made I the middle of battle…

He was really interested now…

I just wanted to smack Naruto upside the head.

As Naruto conitnued his little pep-talk, bringing up the last time we tried to coax Kakashi to unmask his face, to Sai, I noticed something.

I didn't want Naruto and Sai to see his face.

….

Was that weird?

....

……………………

We got to Ichiraku Ramen after only a few more minutes of walking.

The sun was starting to set over the ceilings of the buildings around us.

I was starting to get a little nervous.

What would Naruto and Sai do when they actually see his face?

Freak out about how much Kakashi was not trying to hide anything unacttractive…. But was actually probably the most handsome man in Konoha…

...

I really hoped that Kakashi didn't order anything.

....

I went through a lot to see his face.

He even made me take off his mask, which was actually a little embarrassing… and here Naruto and Sai were going to see it for such a dumb reason as for eating ramen.

Please, Kakashi-sensei… don't let it happen like this! I thought loudly.

We took our seats.

After some shuffling, I ended up between Kakashi and Naruto, Sai was next to Naruto.

"What would you guys like?" Kakashi-sensei asked casually, grabbing his wallet from his pocket.

Naruto ordered his 'usual', not even tearing his eyes away from Kakashi's mask the whole time.

Sai orders the B combo…. I got the C combo….

It was a little awkward to order food that I wasn't really interested in.

"So, did you guys get another mission?" Kakashi stuffed his slightly-emptier wallet into his pocket.

Naruto and Sai didn't say anything… probably still lost in their thoughts of that non-existent giant mole…. I shuddered a little.

I had to answer for everyone.

"No, the Hokage decided to give us a break." I said, trying to sound happy.

Our eyes met.

Electricity ran through my skin.

I had thought that I would eventually get used to being around, and being touched by, Kakashi-sensei, but it seemed like I was only getting more and more sensitive.

Just looking into his eyes affected me.

But this was no time to get lost in those kind of thoughts.

"That's good for you guys." He commented, looking over to the curious wide-eyes of Naruto and Sai. "You're starting to look raggedy after three consecutive missions."

I chuckled a little forcibly in response when Naruto and Sai didn't do much when they saw Kakashi's ramen (along with their own) were being served.

Naruto, Sai, and I grabbed our chopsticks, broke them apart, rubbed them together to get rid of splinters… all without looking away from the contently-smiling Kakashi who was doing the same.

That smile.

He knew what we were thinking, didn't he?!

He slowly raised his hand up to his face.

Naruto and Sai gulped behind me, staring unabashedly, no doubt.

I was also staring, freaking out.

His fingers found the lip of his mask, tugging downward slowly.

I noticed that he was literally moving in slow-motion… letting us wait.

He was really evil about that mask wasn't he?!

I was suddenly felt really accomplished for beating past his personal test for me…

He was sliding down the mask.

I needed to see what he was going to do when Naruto started shouting as I knew he would when he would ever see Kakashi's face.

... Kakashi's smile widened underneath the fabric...

He definitely knew what we were up to.

All three of us leaned in.

"HEY, you three youngsters!!" The flash of a familiar green leotard zoomed in between us and Kakashi. A piece of paper flapping in the wind. "I've got some news for-"

"AAAAAAAAARGHH!!" Naruto immediately started screaming out of frustration, scaring Gai-sensei half to death. Naruto pushed past me, (Sai giving him a boost) trying to get his hands on Gai, to probably toss him into the street in order to see the unmasked Kakashi behind him.

Naruto put his hand on Gai, and failed to do anything else when Gai suddenly whacked it away.

Kakashi peeked from behind Gai-sensei… masked.

Naruto suddenly slumped on top of the counter, depressed.

I couldn't help feeling a little smug that Naruto and Sai didn't see Kakashi's face that easily.

"What's wrong with you three!?" Gai-sensei spoke up a little sternly.

"Nothing!" I shouted all of a sudden.

Gai was quiet for a second as I heard Kakashi thank the ramen-shop owner for the meal quietly.

"Oh, I see… you three are overflowing with a youthful sense of competition!" His eyes started to sparkle.

God no, not the sparkles….

I grimaced.

"Well, you three are still a hundred years too early to even think of taking me on!" Gai-sensei laughed heartily. "I've even beaten your sensei at our rivalry battles with my score 50 – to his 49!" He explained with even more energy. "Isn't that right Kakashi!?"

(I somehow recalled the score actually being 50 - 50, I felt really weird for being able to remember that)

"Did you say something?" Kakashi asked nonchalantly, fiddling with his chopsticks absent-mindedly.

Naruto was slipping off the edge of the counter, still completely disheartened.

"Again with those hip comebacks!" Gai shouted.

"What did you need to tell us, Gai-sensei?" I spoke up, remembering that Gai was actually saying something before Naruto started to shriek like an animal.

"Oh, yes!... The theme for the Hokage's social fundraiser has been announced… she left it up to me to tell everyone of Konoha with this poster!" he grinned his 'charming' grin, a twinkle blinded my eye for a second before I saw the poster.

It was decorated with the words:

'Konoha Social Fundraiser: Tomorrow Night at Main Hall!'

They still didn't call it a 'party' when it was on the posters.

The giant 'Tomorrow' really hit me… Lady Tsunade msut've really been working hard in order to get the party ready for tomorrow….

"It was announced a few days ago, but you guys just came back, right?" Gai explained further as I scanned the poster quickly.

I looked across the poster for a second before it hit me that what I thought was a picture of a bird really was something else.

A fancy feathered mask.

'Masquerade!'

. . .

A long moment of silence passed between the three of us who could see the poster.

Kakashi-sensei poked his head out, staring at our expressions.

I had no idea what Naruto and Sai were like… but I could imagine Sai's placidity and Naruto's growing excitement…

I was mostly in shock…

A Masquerade?

Was that really Lady Tsunade's style?

I looked further down the poster, past the dates, times, and location.

'Theme by: Shizune'

I still didn't know her last name... (did anyone?)… but things finally made sense now.

She probably went through hell in order to get Lady Tsunade to accept that theme.

"So, what do you think?!" Gai-sensei waved the poster in his hand teasingly. "It's rare for Konoha to hold such an event, and you three are just the right age to enjoy it with your flames of youthfulness, and sharing those moments and memories of passionate springtime with other youngsters!"

"Er…" I slurred out with my lack of excitement.

Flames?

Youthfulness?

Moments of passionate springtime?

Should an adult really be talking like that to us?

I guess I couldn't talk about what adults should and shouldn't be doing...

All of gai's words way overfilled my tolerable amount of 'cheesy' for the day…

But a few of his words shook me a little.

'With other youngsters!'

My eyes flashed to Kakashi, his gaze met mine with a small smile.

I wasn't interested in sharing those kind of memories with anybody else.

"Unlike us Jounin!" Gai-sensei wrapped a green arm around Kakashi's hunching shoulders. "But we get to have our own fun!" Gai beamed, his bowl-cut hair gleaming in the light.

Kakashi broke our eye contact, looking down to the counter forgetting to say something 'hip' back to Kakashi.

"Your silence is the hippest comeback ever!" Gai was suddenly halfway out of the booth pointing at Kakashi wildly. "I shall beat you and your coolness some day!"

And the flash of green was off, yelling excitedly at other people about the party.

For a moment I understood why Naruto had almost fallen victim to Gai-sensei's specially-designed green body-wear… the two were really alike.

I spun over on my stool, still looking at Kakashi, who was looking down at his hands.

What is he thinking about?

He better not be thinking what I think he's thinking about.

"Ne, Sakura-chan…" I heard Naruto's voice behind my head.

I turned away from Kakashi a little hesitantly,

"What?" I asked, my eyes landing on his face.

He was blushing a little… like he always did before asking me out after a mission.

Not now, Naruto… I asked him with my mind, but that didn't stop him.

"You do wanna go with me, right?" He asked, not looking into my eyes.

"Ummm…." I started, wanting to look back over to Kakashi for some sort of help

"You said you would." Naruto said as if he was reminding me.

What?!

"U-uh?" I didn't ask him completely, but he knew that I was clueless.

His eyes widened a little, getting a little upset

"During the mission, when we were walking together… holding hands…" he had paused shyly for a moment "I asked you and you said you would go with me." He said hurriedly…

I didn't remember anything like that at all.

"It was right before Master Kimihiro ran off." He reminded me, successfully, this time.

My mind flashed back to that moment.

I was walking with Naruto, he was talking about the Hokage and how a party sounded fun… but then I was distracted by Kakashi-sensei's voice. Naruto asked me something, and I answered positively, not having a single idea what I was agreeing to right before Sai shouted that the demon had ran off.

Oh my god…

"So, we're going together, right?"

I hesitated.

"Well, I'm full… so I'll be going home now."

I heard Kakashi stand up behind me, the clattering of his chopsticks falling into the bowl, the clinking of a few coins hitting the counter.

By the time I turned around, he was already gone, the little cloth flags hanging from the entrance were waving back and forth.

"Bye, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto shouted loud enough for the whole street to hear.

I didn't say anything.

I looked down to my hands for a second.

"So, Sakura-chan?" He sounded expectant. I looked over to Naruto.

"O-okay…I'll go with you." I really couldn't say I wouldn't after I had already agreed to go with him. His eyes lit up with so much excitement… I had to bring him back down to reality."But as a friend." I added, trying to smile casually.

I wasn't as good at it as Kakashi-sensei.

"Ye-yeah, of course, Sakura-chan…" Naruto's spirit went down for a second till he resumed just as much hyperness as before.

I felt like a horrible person in so many ways.

Naruto got out his little Gama-chan coin purse and started to pay a tip to the owner.

My smile faded a little as I thought about Kakashi-sensei.

Why did he leave like that?

I took out enough money for my meal and a tip, leaving it on the counter.

"Thank you…" I said politely to the girl behind the counter, who was blushing towards outer-space.

"Of, course!" She said perkily, taking my bowl. "It's always wonderful when you guys eat here, especially with Kakashi-san." She added that last part dreamily, staring at Kakashi's seat for a second.

A twitch of jealousy ran through my body (she got to see his face so easily), but I didn't take it to heart.

Somehow, it felt really nice when somebody else complimented him that way… because, by some miracle, he was with me.

.......

"See you later, Sakura-chan!" Naruto waved at me widely, with a giant grin, Sai by his side, waving lightly.

"Bye." I called back, turning away from him.

I continued walking down the street, leaving the shopping area where lanterns lit up the street, entering a residential area where only the glow from house windows poured dimly onto the street.

I felt kind of bad that I didn't like Naruto back that way.

I didn't want him to feel that bad every time I had to deny his feelings… but he was like a brother to me.... I couldn't force those kind of feelings.

I felt even worse when my thoughts travelled over to Kakashi…

I'm so stupid.

I'm always causing him some sort of trouble.

He really deserves better than me.

How could he have ever developed feelings for me?

………….

"Hey mom, hey dad." I greeted my parents nonchalantly.

"Hey, sweetie." My mom replied with just as much enthusiasm.

It was normal business for my family, by now, to accept that their daughter would be out of the house for days at a time and come back at any time.

"Goodnight." I trudged upstairs, right to my room.

"Night." My parents chorused back.

I was so tired.

So tired of thinking about everything.

'Why this? Why that?'

I really needed to clear my head.

I kicked off my boots after some difficulty, walking over to my balcony door.

I really needed some fresh air.

And a part of me hoped that, somehow, he knew that I really needed to be with him again… I always needed to be with him.... and that he would be waiting for me.

I opened my blinded, glass, door to an empty balcony.

My heart dropped a little, but I took a deep breath of the night air, leaning onto the waist-high railing.

I heard something.

The sound of paper flapping.

My eyes followed my ears to the source.

A small, folded paper was on the railing, a rock weighing it down.

I hurried grabbed the paper, sliding the rock off of it.

I unfolded it clumsily.

I caught a glimpse of his slightly scratchy handwriting.

… My eyes found a single word…

"Sanctuary"

I knew exactly what that word meant.

It was exactly what I needed.

I ran into my room.

Quickly grabbing on my boots, hopping towards the door while still pulling the last one on.

I put the piece of paper into my satchel running as hard as I could.

I didn't want to waste any time.

I didn't want to keep him waiting.

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