Police stations are anything but comfortable. There was this debate. A huge debate, going on in the room behind me. I was handcuffed to the door handle attached to the door that marked the bathroom. Wasn't I lucky? Damn Gotham and its inability to have more police stations. This one was maxed.

I stared at my right hand, the one free of handcuffs. I looked at the pink puckered skin that marked itself in the middle of my palm. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Now what was going to happen? The men behind me were debating on my life right now. Was I guilty? No one could see why I would be. I looked innocent to them. But no one considered that I just wasn't guilty. And I was really hoping this would not end in a group therapy session.

Back in Frost's building, I had gone completely nuts when they stole my sister away. Screaming and kicking, I wanted her back. I wanted to see her now. And once I finally regained myself in the back of a police car, the officer was kind enough to tell me she was being escorted to a hospital. And that was good enough for me. Now, what the hell did they do with my angel?

I laughed at that last part.
"What' so funny, doll face?"
I nodded my head, "Oh, I'm just thinking."
"You are too cute-tah. And by the way, those handcuffs have given me ideas…."
I sighed. Consequently, I looked up. The Joker sat behind bars, directly ahead of me. It was like a 'rest stop', shall I say? No room in Gotham. But he'll just have to wait here anyway. And I had to wait with him. Did I like this? Yes. Did I hate this? Oh, yes. Luckily though, I wasn't the one already branded and behind bars.

The Joker stared right back at me. His make-up was a mess. And they had taken his jacket from him. He just gave me that same wicked smile he always gave me.
"This isn't over, doll face," he said. Looking at him now, and hearing him speak those words, that's what scared me. I knew it wasn't over. It never would be. Not until we both were dead.
"You are, how can I put this," he began, smacking his lips together. "A poison. No, no, no. A weakness! My weakness."
He laughed maniacally.
"Emeralda, you are my weakness. And I, well I'm your strength."
I laughed.
"I make you stronger, Emma. You may not see it this way yet, but how much more determined are you now, to be the opposite of what I am?"
He had a point there.
The Joker closed his eyes for a brief second, then reopened them. I couldn't help but stare at them. So much death, so much suffering, were in those eyes. My eyes.

He licked his lips, "This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. You truly are incorruptible, aren't you?"
Finally, I looked away. Scanning the ceiling as an obvious escape from his eyes.
"You know what I believe, Emma?" he asked.
"No."
He laughed and replied rather harshly, "My dear Emma, look at me."
Give me mood swings and I can give them back. I hung my head and cradled my scarred hand to myself.
I heard the Joker mumbling, "Please. Please, Emma. Look at me. Please."
I smiled and looked up at him. Meeting his eyes with my own.
"Those beautiful golden pools… now where was I?"
I sighed, "I never can guess what you believe."
"Ah, right, right," the Joker said, awkwardly rubbing his hands together. "I believe you and I are destined to do this forever."
"I believe you're right," I said.
The Joker never stopped staring at me. And although I stopped staring at him, I could still feel him watching me.

After what seemed like an hour of awkward silence and back pains from this metal bench, the door to my right opened and a police officer came over and undid my handcuffs.
"You're a free girl, Emma," he began. "Would you….."
He sighed and gave me a look of total displeasure. This must be awkward for him.
"Do you think-Would you like help? Getting through your situation. Talk to someone?"
Horrible, horrible.
I laughed.
"No," I said. "Thank you, sir."
The cop nodded his head.
The Joker started whistling a tune….a child's riddle. What was it?
The cop glared at him.
I spoke up, "I'd just like to know what you're going to be doing with him?"
After a quick glance to the door from which he just came through, the cop looked back to me.
"Knowing you situation, I feel you have every right to know," he said.
I smiled quite sweetly at him.
"Thank you, sir. So what are you going to do with… with him?"
The cop cleared his throat, "That's for Arkham to decide."
The Joker burst into a fit of laughter.
"I'll get your release forms and the information to your sister's whereabouts. After that, you are free to leave."
I nodded my smiling face at him, "Thank you, sir."
When the cop left, the Joker's laughter was just now quieting.

Arkham. Wasn't that like….. A hell hole? Kinda. The thought that the Joker was headed there scared me. I probably would never see him again. I could feel my eyes starting to water.
"Don't worry, cupcake, we'll see each other soon enough," he said.
I looked over at him. He was standing now, grasping the bars with his hands, so hard, his knuckles were turning white.
I nodded and fought back the tears. "Okay." was all I managed to say.
"I'll get out, my love."
I nodded my head.
"Come here."
His voice was harsh and serious, but it was a tone I knew to be harmless, for it was only ever directed to me. I walked over to the bars, hating that I obeyed his every word and yet hung to it for dear life.
He licked his lips, "You. You think I am lying."
I looked down. How embarrassing was it to cry in front of people? I am not gonna cry. Nope.
"I've been there before, Emma."
This had my attention.
He smiled his wicked smile, "Haha. Oh. Oh yes! Yes, Emma! And it was so fun. Sure, they'll be more careful my second time around. But they'll still be so, so sorry they ever crossed paths with me."
He started to laugh again. Was he already having abandonment issues?
The door opened again and the cop from before stepped out of the room. I was about to turn around when the Joker grabbed the sleeves of my shirt and pulled me against the bars. My face crashed against it, and I could feel blood dripping from my forehead.
"I'll come get you, Emma! Trust me. I'm a man of my word."

The cop seen the commotion and ran over to my safety. But the Joker already let go of me. The cop looked at me like I was crazy. I was. And then he held out my papers to me.
"Are you sure you don't want any medical help of some kind?" he asked.
"No thank you, sir," I said. I carefully took my release forms from him. And then slipped by, grabbing a tissue on my way out. Dabbing at my forehead, I looked at the main door that was my freedom.
My papers were stamped.
Sympathy was given.
Blah, blah, blah.
A cab was summoned.
Directions to the hospital, to the airport.
I walked out of there a free woman.

~~~~ 1 year later~~~~

The moment I came home with Ally, I felt numb. How long did I have with my family until he found me? How long did I have to explain to Ally that I loved her? And Mom and Dad. And Miranda and Lindsey and Greg. That I even loved ole Suckerpuss, the annoying Siamese pest with nine lives she just has to own.

How much time would I have before he came for me? Before I felt whole again?

And now, I still feel the same way. I don't want to live here. Mom finally gave up the act, and now we all know she thinks I'm a freak. No, she isn't abusive or anything. But since I've been here, she's been nagging me, "When are you getting your own place?" , "Why won't you go back to Paris, to college?", "Why the HELL did you use my toothpaste?" And then some nights, she'd come into my room, crying, asking how this happened to her daughter. That she loved me, but she couldn't hold on to me anymore, knowing that I'd leave her again one day. And that was true.

Dad, however, knew things. He knew my past came back to haunt me. Unbeknownst to me, apparently I was a lot closer to 'that poor innocent boy' than I had thought. And Dad loved me more than ever. He always told me, stay as long as you need to and forget what your mother says. I did. It made me cry to think after everything, he still loved me so much. I would miss him the most.

Ally was my older sister and she acted the part. At first, she was my defender from Mom. Then, her, Greg, and the family moved back into town. And Ally took me in. But she acted so normal after that. And it irritated me. I couldn't live normal anymore. Sometimes I had nightmares. But, not the ones she would assume. Just ones I'd rather not share. Still, she acted so normal. And all the while, I was screaming inside.

It's February. And one year ago, the Joker promised me he would come get me. And I waited for that promise. My 26th birthday just passed in January. January 27th, actually. Anyway, it's been one year, to the date.

I sighed. I really missed a lot of things. I missed feeling completely vulnerable. Watching him walk away from me, because he didn't want to be. I missed what I could do to him. And I missed what he could to me. He loves that part of me that will always see the tiny bit of good in someone. Even if it seems nonexistent. And I loved that negative streak of his. Now that I've seen the worse of things, how ugly someone can really be, I can only love the wonderful things in my life that much more. Despite what he's done, that soft spot in him is for me. And me only. And that's what I love the most.

So I was waiting for him to keep his promise. Waiting for him to find me. That's why I wasn't entirely surprised this morning when I found his letter.

I had just woken up. My eyes were still fuzzy from sleep and I didn't feel like moving out of bed. But the urge to pee is always stronger. After I had calmed my bladder, I went into the kitchen to make coffee. I added that water and then the coffee and let it begin brewing. I took my seat at the kitchen table while it brewed. I was alone today. The girls were at school and Ally and Greg were at work. Nothing could make this day more boring.

There's a red envelope. I looked at it and my heart froze. This is like, a Halmark moment, or something. It could be anything, from anyone. But I knew better.

The usual stack of mail sat quite neatly in the center of the kitchen table. But this one, lone envelope was apart from the rest. I slowly reached across the table for it and then brought it in front of me. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust.

The envelope was simply addressed to Emma Thompson.
No return address.
As if there would be one.

I opened the envelope, not even trying to be careful, and quickly pulled out the note from inside.

It read:

Hi, Emma.
I made you a promise that I'd be back. Well, hun, I am. I hope you don't mind, but I stalked your sister. Just had to know where they were hiding my prize. Now that I do, I know where to find you.

Ready or Not, Emma.

Here.

I.

Come.

-Joker

The letter frightened me all over. But in the same way, I was equally ready. I realized that I had to leave, though. And right away. These memories, these events will always haunt me. But they don't need to haunt my family as well. Sipping on my coffee, I thought. Shower now, then think. I can't think right now!

So, as my plan went, I showered. I enjoyed the way showering made me feel so human. Shampoo, condition, wash, rinse. Steps I always went by since I was a little girl. The hot water helped clear my mind a bit, too.

After I got dressed, I reasoned with myself. I have to leave. Today. Now. Ally should know…. I looked at the red envelope and letter that was still on the kitchen table. I hurriedly shoved it into my purse.
I'll write her a letter.

After a few minutes of tearing up paper and rewriting what I had to say, I finally finished. I decided my room would be the first place she'd check. So I laid it on my pillow. Cliché, I know. I reread it once again to myself.

Dear Ally,

I have to go. I cannot let you suffer anymore. Even though you pretend not to, I know you do. And Mom, I can't hurt Mom anymore. It's best to break everything at once. I won't be back. I can't come back. I am ashamed and I am madly in love. I can't explain any better than this.

All my life I let everyone step on me. You know as well as I do that I was used. Amanda used me, my boyfriends used me, and even you did too sometimes. I was too stupid and too vulnerable to realize I deserved better. Right, I know what you're thinking. How am I getting better? I think that by giving some one a reason to live, it is enough to give me a reason to live as well. I won't change. People don't change. But as long as there is someone as good as me, I can help show the good in others.

Remember, Ally, without help, I wouldn't have been able to save you.
Without a worse outlook on life, I wouldn't have been able to see all the good things that were there.
No, I wasn't taught these things. I didn't learn them. The pain showed me this truth…
And without him, I am utterly alone. Without him, I will always feel like I am worth nothing to everyone.
When he's there, I make him feel.
You know how it feels, Ally.
You know what it's like to make someone feel.

Tell Mom, she was right. And that I love her.

Tell Dad, that without his help, I wouldn't be the formidable woman I am today. Tell him, I will miss him. That I hope he and Mom can solve their differences. That I love him.

Ally, I love you. And I know you'd come find me again like you did before, but trust me on this one, there is no need to. I will be fine. I will find my ways to let you know that I'm okay. Promise.

Good Bye,
Emma.

It seemed enough to prove my point. But I couldn't just leave. I'd miss them so much…. But, I knew whom I missed the most.
I left immediately after.
I wondered the small town we lived next to.
Enjoying my total freedom for once, I just kept walking.
Then it got dark.
I heard footsteps behind me.
I heard his insane laughter.
I felt his arms wrap around me and I felt a blade press against my neck.
"My dear, beautiful Emma, I've missed you."
I sighed. I am totally crazy. Totally.
He laughed again, "Don't worry princess, daddy's taking you home. For good."
I turned around in his grasp and looked up at him.
"It took you long enough," I said.
The Joker smiled and grabbed the back of my head. He lifted his knife and put it on my lips.
"My Emma. All mine. She's missed me!" he shouted with excitement.
I laughed and looked away.
We really need to leave.
The Joker stopped laughing, but his smile never left his face.
Where were we? Just a road leading to nowhere. Completely dark and abandoned. This is where I brought myself? At least I wasn't alone. I could see familiar headlights coming our way. They darkened the Joker's face, so I could only see the outline of him.
The Joker laughed.
"Oh Emma, why so serious?"

That was eerie. The van came to a stop next to us. It was quiet and the area seemed most likely to be dead. No one was awake. Or no one cared enough to see what was going on. The Joker motioned for whoever was driving to turn off the headlights. By now, I could barely make out his face. His blade left my lips and he looked at me.
"Tell me, Emma, do you... loooooove me?" he asked. I laughed. What a ridiculous question.
"Do you?"
I nodded my head and smiled back, "Of course I do."
"Do. What?" he said. "Say it."
I let out a deep breath, "I love you. Of course I do. I love you more than anything in this world. No matter what you do and have done, I cannot help but love you. You are everything to me. I love you more than myself. I am completely and utterly insane!"
The Joker smiled, "Emma, I love you more than I love me."
I trusted him this time. I believed him.
"Do you promise, Emma?" he asked.
"Promise what?"
"No matter what I do or have done…."
"I'll always love you… ha, yes. I promise."
The Joker looked at me and my smiled faded. He leaned down and kissed me. I wrapped my hands around his neck, getting a little closer. Reluctantly, he pulled away. Then he put his blade back to the corner of my mouth.
"Good Emma, because I just hate it when you're unhappy."
Ouch, what was he doing…

Are you kidding me?

I could taste blood!
"Forever-together Emma. You and I."
"Forever," I promised.
He laughed, fiendishly then started humming a familiar tune I must've heard as a child. He wrapped his hand around my neck, caressing me. The knife was still stuck in my mouth.
"Emma…"
I closed my eyes.
"Let's put a smile on that face."