Chapter Nine ~ Admitting Feelings

Reader's prov.

The expedition continued as planned. The Scouting Regiment continued the onslaught against the titans as we continued to test out the Long Range Scouting Formation. The Regiment doctors checked me over, making sure my injuries wouldn't interfere with my participation in the mission before they cleared me for my duties, much to Levi's angry protests.

...

"She still needs to rest! There is no telling what kind of damage she could cause by using her gear!" Levi argued, his cheeks dusted with a rosy flush as he glared at the Commander standing in front of us. His arm held out in front of me as I tried to step around him and collect my gear.

"We need her in the field! You and (L/N) are unlike any of the other soldiers. If even just one of you were to sit out then there is no telling how many countless lives could be snuffed out!" Commander Shardis shouted back, his lean form towering over Levi.

I stared between the two men, I needed to get this under control. There was no telling what would happen if they continued. Levi looked like he was about to start using his fists to do the talking for him as he squared up to the Commander. He was livid with the Commander for even suggesting that I resume the mission. I could see it from his point, I didn't exactly feel my best to be going back out into the field. However there was no way I would let the expedition continue a day further without my participation. I owe at least that to Furlan and Isabel. I owe it to them to slay as many titans as I could before my life would be snuffed out into nothing. Whether it be today, or tomorrow, hell even years from now, I still owed them my life.

"If you send her out there, she might as well go back to the walls as a corpse, because of you and your shitty commands!" Levi growled, his pupils constricting into slits as he stared down the Commander.

"Learn some damn discipline! I am the Commander of this Regiment, what I say goes! Do I make myself clear, you damn runt!"

Levi saw red as he moved forward to Shardis. I grabbed Levi's arm without even thinking, pulling him back. My hand touching the bare skin of his own, hoping my touch would at least soothe him slightly, "Levi...stop."

He ignored me, wrenching his hand away from me. I growled in frustration as I sidestepped the man and stood between them, placing my hands on his chest, "Enough Levi!" I stared at him intently, imploring him to see sense as his gaze met mine. His eyes widened slightly and his features softened, his mouth twitching slightly. His pupils dilated back to their normal size, his eyes now calm as he placed his hand over mine.

"I just don't want you to get hurt," His voice barely a whisper as he refused to look at me.

I sighed, smiling sadly at the man, completely ignoring the fact that the Commander was behind us, "I know, but it's my duty. I want to help, I want to fight."

Levi's eyes softened even more as he recalled the speech he had given a few nights previously. He bowed his head, his ebony hair caressing his rosy cheeks, his lips parted as he released a shaky breath, his cheeks puffing out slightly, "Okay."

...

Erwin accepted the both of us into his squad as we continued leading the expedition. Many lives were lost, nowhere near as many if we weren't using the newly developed formation. Only 350 of our forces perished, whereas without the formation close to 800 would have been snuffed out. Yet none of the deaths hit me quite as hard as what Furlan and Isabel's had, however it was still gut wrenching to see your fellow comrades between the bolder sized incisors of a titan. Each death I paid witness to brought the memory of the dream, pounding over me like a punch in the gut many times over. And each time I would see Levi's lifeless features, reducing me to tears almost instantly. If Levi saw, then he chalked it up to my feeling guilty over Furlan and Isabel and how I couldn't save them, or the countless others who fell. Whenever he spotted me in such a state, he wouldn't ask questions or give words of understanding or reassurance. He would just swat me up the back of the head with his hand, his features always deadpanned, "Don't you even think about it!" He would warn, his voice glacial and emotionless.

Out of pure rage, I took down titan after titan. Unleashing my white hot wrath against the damn beasts. Every last one of them, in my mind, responsible for their deaths. Their faces appearing in my mind as I showed the titans no mercy. Levi was often by my side as we slayed the giant bastards, blood soaking into our uniforms, dripping from our hair and faces as we ruthlessly killed. At one point, Levi had Erwin pull me away from a titan that I had been repeatedly slashing, cutting the beast's nape before it laid forever still.

"Are you completely nuts? You could have gotten yourself killed!" He shouted at me.

"I think it would be best if we head back, your in no fit state to continue at this point," Erwin agreed. I had been gone for over an hour, ripping off the titan's limbs, never once striking its vital region. I wanted the animal to suffer, so every time I would wait for it to regenerate enough so I could cut it down again and again. Its blood tangled into my hair, matting it to my face. My uniform soaked. Luckily titan blood evaporates just like the titan corpses, but I could still feel the congealed gunk on my clothes as I walked away from the two men.

"The titans must pay for what they have taken from us," I whispered, knowing full well that Levi heard every word.

It had been near enough a week before we were given the all clear to withdraw back to Wall Rose via Shiganshina district. I hated to admit it, but I had never been so happy to see those alabaster walls as they came up on the horizon. It reminded me of something my father had said once after coming back from an expedition, "No matter how many times you go out of those walls, you will always feel safe once you are behind them again," which also happened to be the last thing he said before he died. As much as I hated the feeling of being trapped in behind these walls like some animal in a cage, I couldn't help but finally understand his words as the feeling of safety flowed through me once we passed through the threshold of the gate.

Family members threw themselves at the soldiers, their sons, daughters, husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, friends. Both relief and sorrow filled the cobbled streets. The looks on the returning soldiers faces told the citizens all they needed to know as we passed. No one would dare try to comprehend the horrors of the outside world while the titans were still at large. The other half of the Shiganshina citizens launched insults at the Regiment, scrutinizing how our numbers had depleted. Yelling angrily about how every expedition we set out always ends in the same fashion, nothing accomplished apart from the growing number of deaths. Soldiers upon soldiers dying for what... absolutely nothing. I glowered at hearing their harsh words, cutting through the air like a knife.

"Our taxes hard at work, ladies and gentlemen."

"Can't even leave the walls for a week without loosing half of their ranks."

I tensed in the saddle, my horse tossing his head slightly with displeasure as my hands tightened on the reins, "I would love to see how they would fare against a titan," I growled in a low, cruel voice, my teeth gnashed together. My hands began to shake violently. Levi who rode beside me shot me a scornful glance, "Pay no mind to those pigs. They have no idea."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw something small weave through the crowds, I turned my head to see a small child, no older than nine. His teal green eyes staring into my own as his features fell as he glanced around the returning members of the Scouting Regiment. A small warm smile crept onto my mouth as I tugged on the horse's reins, turning him toward the child. He stood there, his eyes wide and mouth held agape as the crowd parted ways for my horse, his hooves clopping onto the cobbled streets. I threw my legs off the side and dismounted heavily onto the ground, holding the horse's reins as I came to stand in front of the boy.

"Hi, what's your name soldier?" I asked, supporting myself on one knee so I was eyelevel with the boy.

"Um... E...Eren Jaeger ma'am," he stuttered, his hand flying up to the back of his neck, scratching the base nervously. A rosy blush dusted along the apples of his cheeks and on the tops of his ears, his eyes casted downward to look at his light brown boots, the hem of his baggy trousers brushing them gently in the light wind.

My smile widened, although I could feel that it didn't quite reach my eyes, "You want to join the Scouts huh?"

His eyes widened as his head snapped up to look me in the eye, "How did you know?"

"Because I was just like you," I said, tasselling my hand through his chocolate locks, "I would always watch the Scouts come and go, and no matter how broken they looked, they kept up their fighting spirit."

Eren grinned, his eyes bright in awe as he stared at my jacket, my 'Wings of Freedom' clearly visible on my breast pocket, "I want to join! I want to explore the outside world!"

My smile widened as I carefully unclasped my cloak and wrapped it around his small shoulders. The bottle green cloak swamped him, the hem trailing on the ground but it suited the boy.

"And I have no doubt that you, Eren, will become one of the finest scouts known to humanity," I paused, taking in his shocked features. Chocolate brown, messy hair, teal green eyes wide with hope, cute yet rounded youthful features. The child reminded me so much of myself as I continued to study him.

"Promise me that you will never lose that drive and passion. A strong spirit is made from true passion, and no matter the turmoil that you will encounter in the Regiment, if you hold onto that then you will get to where you want to go. You will make your dreams a reality."

With that said, I tasselled his hair once more, the silky strands running effortlessly through my fingers, before straightening and turning to mount my horse. I swung my leg over his back, his neck lowered as he nuzzled the boy.

I glanced down at the awestruck youth, "Keep that safe for me, okay?" He nodded, saluting me with a wide grin spreading across his features. His eyes bright as they caught the sharp rays of sunlight. I saluted him back, wincing slightly from the pain in my side. I tugged the reins, joining the rest of the Regiment, seeing that Levi had waited for me. His features unreadable as he glanced at me. He encouraged his horse to go forward as I heard the boy yell at the top of his lungs, "ARMIN! ARMIN! LOOK WHAT I GOT!" causing a small smile to spread across my face. Maybe there is hope in all this darkness after all.

Levi's prov.

The rest of the ride back to HQ was fairly pleasant. Once we retreated behind Wall Maria, the onslaught of verbal violence from the Citizens lessened. The shouting and screaming ceased, replaced by tranquil silence. Nothing but the birds and the sound of hooves. Sweet bird song flew through the trees, the winged creatures soared through the sky, chasing each other, diving on the trees to stop and stare at the returning Scouting Regiment.

The soft breeze swayed through the trees, the branches creaking lightly, the leaves rustling gently. Her (H/C) tendrils tickled her face, her cheeks rosy with the chilling bite to the gentle breeze. I sat back in my saddle, my legs numb from all the constant riding, as I admired her beautiful features. Her glistening (E/C) orbs focused on her path, her perfectly straight nose, her plump soft lips curved into a gentle smile as she petted her horse's neck. Her hands, small and gentle, remembering how they had fit perfectly in my own. And it had taken her almost dying at the hands of a titan for me to recognise this. To recognise her beauty. To recognise my feelings towards her.

We hadn't spoken properly in days, the last real conversation we shared being the one where we exchanged our guilt. My throat seized at the memory. We both agreed to give each other some time to process everything that had happened. However the silence between us was agonising. Every time our eyes would meet, her lips would part as if preparing to say something, however before the words could pass through, she would stop herself. Guilt washing over her features, sadness seared into her eyes as she would cast them downward, before walking away. Her actions would send all my hopes crashing to the deep, dark abyss of disappointment.

This silence between us, was deafening.

I sat alone in the mess hall, all the other scouts had been ordered to take a few personal days to recover from the expedition. The ones who stayed spent their time in their barracks or in the tavern, mourning their losses and drowning their sorrows. My family had died a long time ago, so there was no one for me to go back home to. And there was no way I could face anyone who had known Furlan and Isabel. To reveal to them that I had lead them to their deaths.

I gently sipped at my tea, holding the rim of the porcelain cup gently with my fingertips. The heat used to bother me, scalding my fingers. But now I felt nothing, I couldn't feel any pain. I just felt numb.

I quietly pondered the fragile balance of life, wondering why I was given the skills to live, to survive. Trained to live through the most brutal of times and yet through all I had learnt, I was unable to pass on any of those vital skills. I thought it would rub off on them, that they would be able to fight for survival. But I was wrong. Nothing I ever do is good enough, and they paid the ultimate price for my ignorance. All life is precious and worth fighting for, yet I couldn't do a damn thing to protect it. To protect theirs. My grip on my cup tightened, my muscles tensed as I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to banish the images of their lifeless corpses from my mind. Not just Furlan and Isabel, but everyone else who I had lost in all of my years of survival. Their cold lifeless eyes burned into my soul, their hands clawing at me, trying to grab me. A never-ending nightmare of guilt washed over me. My hand shook, the contents of my cup sloshing lightly.

Quiet footsteps came up from behind me, a small warm hand placed on my tense shoulder, "Unless you want to scald your crotch, I suggest you put that cup down," She said, her voice small and unsure, even as she scolded me.

I opened my eyes, twisting in my seat so I could see her sweet face. Her eyebrows pulled down in concern over her (E/C) eyes. Her mouth parted slightly as she let out an uneven breath.

"What are you doing here?" I questioned, my eyes travelling up her form, drinking in the sight of her, "Why haven't you gone to spend time with your family?"

Pain flashed through her eyes as she hung her head. The (H/C) tresses shielding her face, "I don't have any family left," was all she could say, her voice low and hoarse, barely a whisper.

I placed my cup down on the saucer, the amber liquid sloshing up the sides. Grunting, I heaved myself up and placed my large hands on her small shoulders. I didn't know what to say, she never indicated that she was the sole survivor of her own family. But then again when had I ever asked her. Isabel's words came ringing in my ears, "Because unlike you, I actually made an effort to be her friend!" My hands tightened on her shoulders at the memory, clenching my eyes shut and shaking my head.

"I'm sorry I..."

"It's fine, you didn't know," she interrupted, her (E/C) hues staring down at her boots, small tears forming at the rims, "It's not something I openly talk about."

She backed out of my grasp and took the seat opposite me, sitting down as I moved to grab another teacup from the cupboard before joining her. We were silent as I poured her a cup of tea, making it to her desired taste before sliding it in front of her. She tentatively grasped the handle as she took a sip, her eyes closing euphorically as the amber liquid passed through her full peach tinted lips.

My mind drifted back to that night on the roof top. It didn't feel like it had only happened a week ago, but many years. I ghosted my lips with my fingers, remembering the soft skin, so gentle against my own. The feel of her hair as it fell through my fingers, how her body was made for mine, our gentle love making as if it were the only thing that mattered in this fucked up excuse of an existence. I wondered if I will be able to feel that again, or did I completely screw everything up?

"Penny for your thoughts?" she asked, studying my face, her face shadowed with concern.

I groaned inwardly, knowing she was probably watching me as I had traced my parted lips with my fingers. How my eyes had closed as the memories of her came flooding back.

"It's nothing."

We were plunged back into silence as I contemplated how to even start a conversation, my head beginning to hurt as my brain went into overdrive.

"How did they die?"

"What?" she gasped, her eyes resting on me. Jeez you would have thought I had asked her how old she was, judging by her reaction, I thought, instantly feeling like a heartless bastard for even thinking of such a cruel thought. Of course she would be upset and shocked by my question, they were her damn parents for fuck sake.

I sighed and took a sip of my tea before turning my face to look at hers, "What happened to your family?"

She cast her eyes downward, a stray tear falling gently down her face, "My father was in the Scouting Regiment so you can guess how he went out. My mother died of a broken heart," she said, a shuddering breath escaping her parted lips, "I remember going to the gates in Shiganshina District, looking through the soldiers who had returned before Erwin found me and explained how my father had died saving his life."

I listened to her as she recounted her parents deaths. We both aren't so different after all, I thought.

"I'm sorry. I understand that must have been very difficult for you."

Her glistening eyes glared up at me, tears now flowing down her cheeks as she blinked, "How could you possibly understand?"

I glowered at the amber liquid in my cup, pain lancing through my heart, "I, too, lost my mother when I was very young. She was a prostitute in the underground, she did all she could to work and raise me by herself, I was told that she loved me more than her own life. I don't know what happened but she contracted this disease that slowly killed her. I was stuck in that room with her body for months, only leaving so I could try and find food and water. I couldn't understand why she wouldn't wake up. I wanted her to wake up but she wouldn't. It wasn't until she started wasting away in front of me that I realised she was dead..." I trailed off, shaking my head, "But then again you are right. I have never lost anyone other than Furlan and Isabel to the wrath of the titans. So I guess I don't understand."

Her mouth fell open as I recounted my pitiful tale, her tears stopped as her eyes flashed with horror, "Levi, I am so sorry, I didn't mean it."

I glanced up at her, shrugging, "It's not your fault. We've both lived very different lives, and you are right. No one can even begin to understand the pain we have collectively been through. I guess it's that pain that has defined and shaped us. Made us into who we are today," I explained, softening my eyes.

A tense silence fell between us, so thick that a pairing blade couldn't even slice through. I grasped my cup by the rim and took a small sip, the cooling liquid sliding silkily down my throat. A small smile spread across her lips, her eyes sad yet amused as she watched me, "Funny way to hold a cup. You know they have handles for a reason right?" she chuckled softly, trying to uplift the mood.

The beautiful melodic sound quickly turned into a fit of giggles, as if I had said or done the most funniest thing in the world. It made me want to laugh along with her but how could I after recounting my mother's death to her. Something that I had never told anybody, now out in the open between us.

"Yes I know they have handles for a reason, brat," I sighed, exasperated. I wanted more than anything to smile, so desperate that it actually irritated me to the point of frowning at her. I wanted to show her more than the monotone, deadpan man who sat before her. I wanted to let her in, but how could I? I trained myself never to let anybody in, to never show my emotions. And after all said and done, I thought my smile was hideous.

"Then...why do... you hold... it... like that...?" she gasped between fits of laughter.

"It's a pathetic reason, you wouldn't care for the answer," I chided, my voice harsher than I intended.

Slowly her laughter died down, her features pulling down slightly, "Please tell me? I want to know."

"No."

"Levi please, I want to know. I promise I won't laugh or anything," she continued, practically placing her hands in a praying stance.

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose, closing my eyes, "Fine. But only when you have calmed down," my tone annoyed at being urged to spill my pathetic reason for holding my cups differently.

She stuck her tongue out and stopped laughing completely. Resting her head on her hands as she stared up at me expectantly with her beautiful (E/C) eyes. All traces of her earlier tears gone apart from the stains down her flushed cheeks.

I puffed out my cheeks as I sighed, twisting in my seat to face her, running my hand nervously through my undercut. She couldn't be more adorable in this moment than what she was right now, the sight of her making my heart swell painfully in my chest.

"When I was a child, I had very few items of value to me other than my mother. Everything I owned was either given to me or I worked hard to get it. I would work so hard that sometimes I would pass out just to earn the smallest amount of money, just to acquire the simplest of things. Things that wouldn't matter to you or I now. Anyway, I worked for enough money and bought myself a beautiful porcelain tea set and some rather inexpensive tea leaves.

"I remember trying to use the handles of the cups but every single time I did, the handle would break, tea would spill over me and the one thing I had worked extremely hard to get would shatter into hundreds of tiny pieces on the floor. So I decided to start holding the cups by the rims, not only to save myself money, but to save myself from having to pay the doctor to come out and see to my burns..."I trailed off, noticing how her smile had soured and her eyes had become sad once again.

I felt a pang of guilt lance through my chest for bringing her uplifting mood down. Me and my stupid mouth.

"That...That is incredibly sweet," she murmured softly, "Not what I was expecting at all. Definitely better than what I thought it was going to be."

I raised my eyebrows at her, a small smirk tugged on the corners of my mouth, "What did you think it was?"

A blush dusted across the apples of her cheeks and down her neck, her face now hidden with her fingers. I could just see her full peach tinted lips that were pulled up in a small smile, "I thought you might have had a fear for holes."

I stared at her with a blank expression, "A fear of holes," I repeated, my tone amused. I sat there in silence, her words replaying over and over in my head before I burst out laughing. Throwing my head back as the sound erupted from my chest.

(F/N) stared at me, her eyebrows raised in concern. It had never occurred to me that she had never heard me laugh before. I clutched at my sides with one hand, slapping the other on the wooden table in front of me. Tears streamed out of my eyes and down my face as I gasped for air. Once my giggles had subsided, I swiped my eyes from the stray tears that escaped from the corners, my eyelashes damp from the salty water.

"It wasn't that funny," she said in an annoyed tone, however I knew she couldn't keep her smile off her lips.

I glanced up at her, a smile in my eyes as I brought my tea to my lips to moisten my now dry mouth, "Oh but it was."

Reader's prov.

After his laughing fit, we were silent for a while. The only sounds we could hear were our breathing, the occasional sloshing of our tea, the clinking of porcelain and the occasional sobs and footsteps outside the large wooden doors that lead into the mess hall. I chewed on my lip. I had been thinking a lot about the roof top as of late and I wanted to confront him about it, but I was dreading what he might say. If he didn't want the same things that I did.

"Can I ask you a serious question?" I asked, my voice barely a whisper.

Levi's brows creased in a slight frown, his lips pursed, "You just did, but of course," He said, his voice soft, "As long as it won't make me laugh again. My sides still hurt."

I smiled at his little comment. It was nice to hear him laugh, he had never laughed properly in front of me before, and it was definitely a sight to behold. The sound of his laughter had lifted my spirits considerably. My smile disappeared, Crap... now I actually have to ask him! Shit! Why did I open my big mouth?

I chewed on my bottom lip, hard enough to taste the metallic blood. I couldn't form my thoughts into coherent words. How was I going to say what I needed without sounding like a complete idiot?

"Just spit it out," Levi grumbled, his eyebrows furrowing further as he downed the last of his tea.

My eyes became very interested in my boots as I mustered up my waning courage. My cheeks on fire as I puffed them out on a loud exhale, "That night on the roof top... before the expedition..." I mumbled, my eyebrows set in a frown as I tried to form the words, "I am confused as to what happened...and where we go from here."

I chanced a look up at Levi who had become very intrigued by his hands. His fingers folding and unfolding in his lap.

"Why are you confused?" his tone cracked, sounding broken. His eyes reflected the sadness in his voice.

"Because I don't know what it means," I whispered, running one hand through my hair, wincing when my fingers caught on some tangles.

Levi sighed gently and scooted closer to me, his knees bumping my own as he took my cold trembling hands in his strong warm ones. He didn't speak at first, he just held my hands in his. His calloused fingers rubbing soothing circles into my soft skin, transferring his warmth through to mine. I brought my eyes up to meet his, the emotionless façade was completely broken away, replaced with a mask of confusion and sorrow.

"After my mother died..." he said, his breathing uneven and shaky, his strong hands trembling slightly, "I promised myself I would never come to love anyone like that again. Sure I cared about Furlan and Isabel, I may have had a fondness for them, but I forced myself not to let them into my heart, to not love them. Because losing my mother ripped a huge hole in me, scarred me beyond repair. So much so that I started thinking that I was unworthy of love. And because of my negative thoughts, I became bitter and hated any affection that was given to me.

"So I taught myself not to care. To come across as nonchalant, someone who wouldn't give a damn about anyone. Someone who wouldn't bat an eyelash at anyone's pain or discomfort. Sometimes it would break away when I saw kids in trouble, women being attacked. Sometimes I would give others advice because I didn't want to seem completely heartless, but my façade never fully came down..." he croaked, his eyes swimming with emotion, "That is until I met you."

My eyes widened as I studied his face while he explained, my heart racing so loud I was sure if he stayed quiet long enough, he would be able to hear it.

"I've never felt like this before... I've never loved anyone like this before. That night on the roof top, I thought if it would make my feelings go away. If I gave myself a taste that you would just leave my mind and I would go on like before. But you didn't. If anything, spending that night on the roof top with you made me want you even more. When Furlan interrupted us, I felt so guilty for looking at you the way I did. I regret how I left you on the roof top, it made me sick when I was lying in my bed alone, waiting for you to come down. But you never did. I went out to look for you early the next morning, I checked the stables since I know you love your horse. I checked everywhere, I even went back up to the roof, but I couldn't find you. But when I got back... when I saw Furlan hugging you, I was so jealous that I was restraining myself from punching the fucking daylights out of him..." His voice cracked, his cheeks puffing out as he released a stuttering sigh, "When you said we were nothing, it shattered what was left of my heart..."

"Wait... I never said that you meant nothing to me," I said in a stern voice, my eyebrows pulling downward in a frown.

Levi nodded, "You did, you said that you and I didn't exist, that there would never be anything between us..."

I shook my head, a small smile settling on my lips, chuckling lightly, "You stupid, stupid man. I was talking about Furlan and myself. He accused you of hurting me, forcing me to do something that I actually wanted to do. Furlan had it for me from the start, but I couldn't reciprocate the feelings because they belonged to someone else."

Levi's eyes widened as I explained, his mouth forming an 'O' as he sighed, "Oh."

"Anyway, continue what you were saying," I urged. I wanted to hear what else he had to say.

"Right, um..." He said, trying to think back to where he had gotten to. Clearly he had either put a lot of thought into this speech, or he was very good at coming up with things like this from the spot.

After a while in a thoughtful silence, he continued, "I thought you were talking about me. That's why I went at you the way I did. Why I hurt you the way I did. But when I saw your body against that tree, I was begging to the goddesses that you were alive. Even if I took what you said about Furlan in the wrong way, even if I took it as if it were about me, I couldn't imagine a world where you don't exist.

"Because you have made me fall in love with you. And I feel stronger than I ever have before. I will do whatever it takes to eradicate the titans. Because I want to live in a world of freedom, with the woman I love. Without the fear that you will be taken away from me, without the fear that one day, one of us may not come back from the expeditions. I want to live in a titan free world and experience the sights beyond the walls with you by my side." His soft steel blue eyes stared softly back into mine, his declaration complete.

I sat there awestruck, he feels the same way? My thoughts unable to comprehend what he was saying, "You love me?" I stuttered, my breathing coming out in short gasps.

"With all my heart," Levi said softly. He released my hands. His right hand grazing my cheek with his finger tips while the other guided my hand to his chest over his heart. The steady beating thumped against my palm, "You restarted this old thing. And now I am ready to share it with you," He whispered, a small, shy smile forming on his mouth.

I swung my leg over the bench and straddled it, shifting closer so that I was inches away from him. My eyes searching his as I placed my free hand around the back of his neck, my fingers brushing past the soft hair of his undercut as I lowered his head to mine. I tilted my face to his, brushing my lips softly against his. He closed his eyes, groaning as my lips pushed gently against his, small tears falling down his cheeks. I kissed my way up to his eyes, gently pecking his closed eyelids, the salty tears coating my lips. I freed my other hand from his chest and brushed his cheek with my thumb as I kissed his forehead, his nose, the corners of his mouth, before placing my lips gingerly back onto his awaiting mouth.

"I love you too," I whispered against his lips, feeling his breath hitch and his lips curving as they moved in time with my own. Our lips moulding perfectly around each other. The kiss changed its sweet nature into a heated lustful one as he ran his warm tongue along the seam of my lips, begging for entry. I willingly opened my mouth, his tongue darting into my cavern, licking sensually against my own muscle as he familiarised himself again with every nook and cranny. His free hand reached behind my head and gently tugged my hair tie out of my thick (H/C) hair, freeing it so it hung loosely around my shoulders. He twirled several strands between his fingers, pulling on them every so slightly, enticing a moan from deep within my throat.

I pulled away from him, my eyes hooded as I gazed back into his soft, loving steel blue gaze, "I think we should continue this somewhere more private," I smirked.

He nodded his head, unable to speak as he tugged me up to my feet and grasped my hand tightly in his. We jogged through the mess hall, small giggles erupted from my mouth as he lead me down the corridors to a spare sleeping quarters.

"Who's room is this?" I asked, cocking my eyebrow as he pulled me through the door.

"Its mine since I spent the morning cleaning it," He growled as he kicked the door closed and walked me over to the bed, his lips feverishly sucking at my throat. He laid me down gently, taking off my boots and belts before turning to his own. Once he was finished, he allowed the leather to clatter to the floor, before his body blanketed my own, pressing his lips back onto mine.

His lips smothered my face in gently kisses as he fumbled with my shirt, untucking it from my trousers. My back arched to help him as he peeled the shirt over my head and threw it onto the floor. He marvelled my smooth abdomen, running his nose from my cleavage down to the waistband of my trousers. His large hands brushed against my breasts, banding his arms around my middle to unclasp my bra. I moaned as he yanked the offending material away from me and also threw it onto the floor. The under-wires clattering against the hard wooden floor.

"You made a mess," I whispered, my hands in his hair as his wicked tongue trailed down my collar bone down to my breasts, nuzzling them gently.

"It's one mess I can live with," he smirked, his hot breath sending a pang of pleasure through my body down to my groin.

My fingers threaded through his hair, trailing down the thick column of his neck and down to the collar of his shirt. I quickly untied his cravat, placing it on the night stand. My eyes flitted up to his hooded stormy eyes, asking permission as I traced my fingers over his collar bones. He nodded and I grasped the collar of his shirt, smashing his lips to mine as I ripped his shirt open, not caring about his buttons scattering across the floor, pushing the silky material over his shoulders. He growled as his tongue licked against mine, one hand against the side of my face, the other holding my head still, twirling my hair around his fingers. My greedy hands moved down to his white trousers which was held in place by his belt.

"Oh Christ," He moaned as my fingers unbuckled the belt, unzipping his trousers before slipping them down his thighs. His lips pressed against my pulse point as he kicked off the material by his ankles and moved to strip me of my own trousers and underwear, wrenching the garments from my legs, allowing them to pool on the floor at the base of the bed.

"You are so beautiful," He murmured against my skin, his teeth latching onto my skin as he sucked gently. I moaned as I ran my hands down his back, feeling his muscles ripple under my touch. His steel erection pressing lightly against my lower belly. My insides clenched as Levi raised his head, glancing at the blushing bruise that was now blooming on my neck. His fingers unlocked from behind my head and wrapped around my breasts as he circled my nerves with his fingertips. Feather light and rolling them until they formed stiff peaks. I cried out, my head flying back against the pillow, pressure building up in my groin as I felt his own arousal against me, hot and pulsating. I climaxed, shuddering as he continued to pleasure my breasts, my eyes squeezed shut, his mouth covering my own as he kissed away my moans.

I was still quaking from the after shock when I wrenched my eyes open and tugged at his boxers, freeing his length and wrapping my fingers delicately around the silky flesh. He jerks in my hand, his breath coming in ragged gasps, his chest heaving as it rises and falls heavily. My eyes find his, hooded and heavy-lidded, his lips pulled up into a small private smile as he presses his lips gently back down to mine, teasing me as he kisses the corners. My lower lip tugged between his teeth as his hands continue to knead my breasts to his liking. I squeezed his length gently, trailing my finger nails up and down him, causing him to shudder.

"If you're going to do it, do it properly," He growled, releasing my breasts and sitting up on his unsteady knees. He truly was a sight to behold, his strong, thick muscled thighs, his abdominals, his gorgeous hooded gaze. I licked my lips as I crawled over to him, brushing my nose down his abdominals, through his hair and to his exposed length. He smells so divine. My tongue slithered out of my mouth, trailing along his length until I kissed the head of his erection.

"(F/N), you are driving me insane," he panted, his hand in my hair as he thrusts gently against my mouth. I complied, accepting him into my warm cavern. My tongue flickering around him, teasing him as I licked him up and down. His breath hissed through his teeth as I hollowed my cheeks and sucked as I twirled my tongue around him. His panting quickened, his chest heaving as he grew closer to his climax, my fingers stroking through the soft hair above his length.

"Oh shit!" He exclaimed as he climaxed in my mouth, thrusting as he rode out the pulsing waves that shook through him. I swallowed as his seed spilled down my throat, coating my tongue in his salty release. Once he stopped jerking in my mouth, I slowly removed my mouth from him, dragging my tongue back up his abdominals, his chest to his neck, finding his lips and pressing my mouth hard against his own. Levi wrapped his strong arms around my body, his eyes scorching as he bit into my lower lip. I gasped and he took full advantage, plunging his tongue inside and licked sensually against my tongue, tasting his own release in my mouth, "Your turn brat," he sighed, pushing me down into the bed. He lined himself up to my opening and gently eased himself inside me. His large length filling me up as I sighed, remembering how good he felt the last time he was here. Once I adjusted to his sheer size, he began to thrust into me at a loving, tantalizingly slow pace. Circling his hips against mine, his mouth pleasuring my own as I moaned into his mouth.

"What are you doing to me?" He murmured against my lips, fluttering his long eyelashes so they tickled my cheeks. Gradually he picked up the pace, his hips teasing me as they circled against my bundle of nerves. Steadily the coil built back up in my groin, moaning into his mouth as I met his thrusts. My hands clawing down his sweat-slicked back. My heart swelled as he moved his lips and peppered kisses all over my face, neck, down my cleavage and to my breasts. My lungs on fire as I panted heavily, my hands feverishly trailing over his scorching muscles. I met my climax around him, shuddering under his powerful body, moaning into his shoulder, sinking my teeth into the hard flesh. He powered forwards, chasing his own release before collapsing on top of me.

The only sounds were our panting breaths as we basked in the after glow of our love making.

I grasped his glorious face between my hands, stroking his face. His eyes met mine slowly, the glacial cold now void from his warm gaze. Molten steel blue eyes stared back into mine as I planted my lips to his again. The kiss was gentle and sweet, but it was enough to say what we were both thinking. He broke away, laying back against the pillows, dragging me down so my head rested over his heart, his fingertips tracing random patterns into my back.

"I think I am well and truly done for," He murmured, a smile in his voice.

I glanced up at him, cocking my head to the side, "What makes you say that?"

He graced me with a small, shy smile as he placed his lips to my forehead, "Because I don't think I am going to survive you, brat."

I smiled at him, despite his insult, his hands still trailing softly down my spine, "Good. Because I don't think I will survive you either, Levi Ackerman."

I laid my head back on his chest, listening to the rhythmic beats of his heart. My own fingers skating down his biceps and entwining with his long fingers.

"I love you," He whispered, his warm breath tickling my wild hair, sifting the tendrils so they tickled my ear. I lifted my head again, this time brining his heavenly lips back to mine. His mouth tasting of tea and his own sweet natural self. Tea and Levi, what a perfect combination. He jerked within me, becoming aroused once again.

Pulling away, I smiled mischievously at him, "Ready for round two?" I giggled as he flopped back down on the bed, puffing out his cheeks before he too, began to laugh. The sound rumbled from his chest, a cheeky smile in his eyes as he grabbed me and sat me so I was straddling his hips. His eyes hooded with love and reignited lust as he reared up, stealing a quick kiss before placing his hands behind his head, a smirk playing with the corners of his lips, "I think I could go for another round, brat."