Rachel had tossed and turned all night. So many questions floating endlessly through her mind.
How long have they been together?
Did she marry him so she could stay in the country?
What if he's hurting her?
It didn't help that Quinn had gone home, because she had class early in the morning. Rachel had found, that whenever Quinn was sleeping next to her, she slept a lot easier. Before Quinn had forced Santana out of Jade's bedroom, and left, she had told Rachel not to worry too much. That she needed to just leave the situation alone for the time being. Rachel knew she was only trying to keep her a safe distance from Jesse, but she wasn't sure she could just ignore it. Lying there wide awake, she started thinking about the very last time she had seen Sunshine.
It was a Thursday afternoon, and her and Jesse had been out shopping. She had once again, said something to piss him off, but since they were in public, he didn't touch her. He just yelled at her, and told her to get the Hell away from him. She wandered into Times Square, and found herself walking into a cosmetics store named, Sephora. She looked around at a few things, and was about to leave when she saw Sunshine, stacking eye shadows onto a shelf.
"No way...".
She slowly walked over, and tapped her on the shoulder. When Sunshine turned around, her eyes grew wide with excitement.
"Rachel! Hi, how are you", she asked, surprising Rachel with a hug.
"Oh...I..I'm fine, how are you", laughed Rachel.
"I'm okay. Just working here a lot."
"Are you...still preforming", asked Rachel.
"Yes. Well, I am trying to. Thanks to you, I actually wanted to try."
"Thanks to me", asked Rachel.
"You were the one who told me I was good. That coming from you, meant a lot to me. So, Now I'm here, trying. Just like you", said Sunshine.
Rachel couldn't help but feel like a hypocrite. She was happy for the girl, that was for sure, however she felt like telling her not to get involved with anyone like Jesse. Ofcorse then, she had no idea how ironic that thought was.
"Well, I'm proud of you, Sunshine. It's nice to see you doing well."
"What about you, are you still preforming?"
"No", she answered a little too quickly.
"What? Why not?"
"It's a long story...actually I have to go meet Jesse, so I'll talk to you later, okay?"
"Oh, okay. It was nice to see you Rachel, tell Jesse I said Hi."
"I will. Goodbye", said Rachel, and she hurried out of the store.
Back in her bed, Rachel had become even more restless, and couldn't take it anymore. She climbed out of bed, and left her bedroom. She was going to make some tea, but she heard music coming from Jade's room, and decided to check on her. She slowly, and very quietly opened the door, and peered in. Jade was sitting on the floor, next to the open window with her laptop in front of her. Rachel couldn't help but smile at her friend. She was doing one of her favorite things. Looking at the stars, while she sang a song that was special to her.
"Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars...I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now...".
Rachel stepped inside of the room, and shut the door. The sound of the door shutting got Jade's attention
"Hi Rea Rea...what's the matter, can't sleep?"
"Nope", said Rachel, as she walked over and sat across from Jade.
"Why not?"
"Well, once again Jesse is keeping me awake. Even though he's not even here...".
"You never stop thinking about him. Not that I could blame you after all his nonsense, but I just wish he didn't haunt you like he does", said Jade, sadly.
"Oh, you don't know yet. He married Sunshine" ,said Rachel.
"Who?"
"Sunshine Corazon...remember?"
"Oh yeah, I remember her. Wait...Jesse married her? When...", asked Jade.
"Noah found an article about it online earlier. Apparently, they were married yesterday...".
Jade just shook her head, and looked out her window.
"I'm not sure what I should do. I mean, obviously I'm not close with her or anything, but...I'm worried about her, Jade. I can't help but wonder...".
"I know, Hun. You wanna' know if he's doing to her, what he did to you", said Jade, and Rachel nodded."Trust me, I understand why those thoughts are running through your mind."
"I just...really want to know. Jade...I'm sorry, I really am."
"For what?"
"You're not feeling well, and here I am bothering you with my stupid little problems, once again."
"Rachel Berry, your problems are not stupid, don't ever say that. Every person in the world has problems, and big or small, sometimes people just need to talk. So...talk to me, because you know I will always be listening...". Rachel smiled. She knew Jade would always be there for her, but hearing her say it out loud meant so much more to her.
"I need to know what you would do if you were in my position."
"You already know, love."
"I need to hear you say it", said Rachel, scooting closer to Jade, grabbing her hands, and holding them.
"Rea Rea, what's the first word that comes to mind when I say the name, Jesse Saint James?"
"Selfish."
"When I say the name Jesse Saint James, with the world Love, what's the word you think of?"
"Himself."
"Okay, so you think Jesse only loves himself?"
"Yes, I do."
"When you were with him, did you feel the same?"
"Yes...".
"Do you think he's hurting Sunshine, the same way he hurt you?"
"I really do...so, if you were me, what would you do", asked Rachel, so desperately it made Jade want to cry.
"You really wanna' know" ,asked Jade, and Rachel nodded.
"I'd find her, and talk to her. Obviously, if he's treating her the same way he treated you, above anyone else, you will know. Would you want to her to be in the same situation you were in with him?"
"I wouldn't wish that situation on anyone, ever."
"Yeah, I didn't think so. I want you to get in touch with her, and talk with her. If you need my help, you know I'll help. But, you know first hand what it's like to be with Jesse, so I feel like you'll be able to tell just by looking at her",said Jade. Rachel nodded once again. Jade always knew what to say, even if she did it through a series of questions Rachel already knew the answers to.
"Just remember how you were, when we got here. You didn't want us to know, you didn't want our help. So, that's how she'll probably be too."
Rachel smiled.
"Why are you so damn insightful?"
"I'm not, you already knew all of this, I'm just a convenient reminder", Jade laughed.
"Whatever. I'm going to make some tea, and try going to sleep. You should do the same, want help into bed", asked Rachel.
"No, I'm actually just gonna' sit here for a little longer. I can see the stars more clearly tonight".
"Okay. Well, goodnight then, I love you", said Rachel. She leaned in, kissed Jade on the cheek, and stood to leave the room.
"I love you too."
Once Rachel was gone, and the door was shut, Jade let some tears fall. She was confused, and she felt really bad. Not just because of the stress that was on Rachel, but because she had lied, and not told her the real reason she didn't want to get up from the floor. She couldn't feel her legs, so she couldn't move them, and she knew telling Rachel that would just cause panic.
The next morning, Rachel was getting ready to walk out the door, when somebody knocked. She opened, and Santana rushed inside.
"Whoa, what are you doing here?"
"What do you think I'm doing here", snapped Santana, taking her jacket off.
"But, I thought Quinn made you go home last night because you had class this morning?"
"She did, but...I just, needed...", Santana trailed off. Rachel smiled warmly.
"She's fine, I just looked in on her. She fell asleep on the floor, but at least she's sleeping."
"Okay, well I'm just gonna' go lay with her I guess. Are you going to work?"
"Yeah, but just until lunch time. Half work day today, which works out because I feel like drinking my face off later", laughed Rachel. Santana smirked.
"Wow, Berry. I gotta' admit, I really like this side of you."
Rachel just laughed, and opened the door."I'll see you later, San."
"Yeah, later. Oh, and Berry? Don't tell Quinn I skipped class, I will never hear the fucking end of it."
"Got it."
Once Rachel was gone, Santana kicked her shoes off, and put her bag down. She hurried into Jade's room, and sure enough, she was fast asleep on the floor next to her window. At first, Santana smiled, walking towards her. But, then she noticed how uncomfortable the girl looked. No pillow, not blanket. Not even the baby blanket she usually slept with. She bent down, and scooped Jade up, no problem. Once she had her tucked into her bed, she laid down next to her. The movement must have woken Jade up, because when Santana settled, she was looking at Jade's open eyes.
"Hey...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up."
"It's okay...how did I get...in my bed...", she asked, tiredly.
"I literally just put you here, why were you sleeping on the floor?"
"I was looking at the sky last night, I guess I just...fell asleep", she answered. Then she smiled a little bit."You're supposed to be in class."
"Yeah, but...I couldn't stop thinking about you", said Santana, as she shifted forward and cuddled Jade into her arms."I know you say you're feeling fine, and it's not that I don't believe you, but something tells me that you are the type of person that keeps everything in."
"By, something, do you mean Puck or Rachel told you that?"
"No, honestly I just know. Probably because I'm the same way. I keep tons of stuff locked away, and that's why I get so bitchy with people." Jade smiled a little, and Santana giggled.
"No really...it's just one day, my bitch button got pushed, and it's been stuck ever since", she laughed.
"Oh my God...stop...you really aren't that bitchy", laughed Jade, weakly.
"I am, and I know that. But, I wish...I could be more like you. You're so...sweet."
Jade smiled.
"Honestly...you're a mystery to me, Jade. You make me feel...different than what I'm used to but, it's one of the best ways possible. I get...softer when I'm around you, if that makes any sense at all."
"I know...I notice that...all the time. Mostly cause' I'm...less scared of you when it's just you and me all by ourselves", said Jade. Santana kissed Jade softly on the lips. She couldn't help it, she loved kissing her. Even if it was just a soft, passionate little peck.
"I'm in like with you", said Jade.
"I like you so much...it's really hard to explain. I just like how I feel when I have you in my arms."
"Is that how Brittany made you feel?"
Santana was uncomfortable all of the sudden. She knew the answer to the question but didn't want to admit it. She just closed her eyes, and sighed.
"It's alright, I know that I remind you of her", said Jade.
"How did you know?"
"I just know."
"Oh. Well, yeah you do remind me of her...she did make me feel the same way but...this isn't about her, I just-
"Even if it was about her...I wouldn't care Santana, I'm just happy that I remind you of somebody that you love."
Santana smiled, and once again kissed Jade. She tightened her hold around her, and rested her forehead on hers. Jade's eyes were half closed, she looked tired, and warn out, but Santana didn't care. She thought she looked beautiful.
"So, are you ready to tell me", she asked.
"Tell you what?"
"Like I said...I hold things in too...", said Santana, rubbing Jade's back slowly.
Jade just nodded slowly.
"What's the real reason you didn't sleep in your bed?"
Just like that, Jade started to cry a little.
"It's okay, just tell me."
"I c-can't...move m-my legs", she cried.
"Whoa, what", asked Santana, sitting up, and taking the covers away from Jade. She ran her hand down her thigh, softly.
"Did you feel that?"
Jade shook her head.
Santana pinched her, just slightly, but not enough to cause any actual pain.
"How bout' that?"
"A little, but barely", cried Jade.
"Fuck...", said Santana, jumping off the bed.
Meanwhile, Rachel was exiting the subway when she got a text from her boss saying that she didn't need to come in at all that day, or the day after. It was somewhat good news, but Rachel was annoyed as all Hell.
"Wow, thanks for telling me after I already left home", she mumbled to herself. She was about to go back down to the subway, but she realized that she was very close to Times Square. She wondered if Sunshine still worked at Sephora.
"No harm in checking...".
When she got into the store she looked all over the place, but couldn't find her anywhere. She decided to just ask another employee.
"Excuse me, do you know if Sunshine is still working here", she asked a girl behind the counter.
"Umm, yeah she's on the schedule for today, but she's not in yet. But, if I were you, I'd check the Starbucks down the way, she usually sits in there for a while before her shift."
"Okay, thank you", said Rachel, and she left.
As she approached the Starbucks, she looked through the window, and sure enough, there was Sunshine sitting alone at a table. She had what Rachel assumed was coffee sitting in front of her. She looked very tired, as if she had been up all night. Rachel slowly walked inside, and over to her table. She was staring straight ahead, and obviously her attention wasn't on anything in particular.
"Sunshine."
Her head snapped towards Rachel, and just by the look in her eyes alone, she knew.
"Hi...Rachel", she said, quietly.
"Hi, how are you?"
"I'm good", she answered plainly, and she started looking around nervously.
"Not to sound rude, or insulting but...you don't look so good", said Rachel, sitting down across the table.
"Rachel, I'm sorry...but I'm really shouldn't be talking to you."
"Why not?"
"It's just...I can't...I'm sorry", said Sunshine, and she stood up.
"No, wait. Please...", asked Rachel."Just five minutes, please."
"I can't, I don't want to be rude, I am so sorry", she said, as she started to walk away.
"I know what he's doing to you."
Sunshine stopped dead in her tracks, and spun around. It was then Rachel knew for sure that she was right. Sunshine looked terrified.
"If he hasn't already broken you, he's started to...I can see it in your eyes, Sunshine."
Still, the girl just stood there, staring at Rachel as if she had just busted her with the biggest secret she had ever kept.
"He's destroying you...".
"How...", whispered Sunshine.
"How do I know? Because...I was quite literally in the same position."
"No...no no", said Sunshine, shaking her head."I don't know what you are talking about, Rachel. I love Jesse. He said you might try this."
"Excuse me", asked Rachel.
"He...he said...you would...", she trailed off. She was getting frustrated, and confused and Rachel could tell just by listening to her that her denial was clouding any rational thought she was trying to push through."No...Rachel, no I can't talk to you."
"I can help you...".
Sunshine just shook her head, and ran from the building as fast as she could.
"Damn it", mumbled Rachel. She wanted to go after her, but her phone buzzed, and she looked at the screen."Oh no...", she said, before getting up and leaving the building. About an hour later, she was rushing into the waiting room at the hospital. She found Puck and Jonah sitting in the back corner of the room.
"What happened now", she asked, as she rushed over.
"No idea. I was sleeping, I woke up to Santana pounding on my door, saying Jade's paralyzed or something", said Puck, with just a hint of worry in his tone.
"What", asked Rachel, in shock.
"No, we don't know what's goin' on...she has no feeling in her legs, so she can't really move them. She said it happened last night, but she thought it would go away", said Jonah.
"Wait, last night? But, I was...oh my God. No wonder she was sleeping on the floor in her room this morning, she couldn't get to her bed. Oh my God...", said Rachel, sadly as she sat down.
"That doctor told us she'd have her blood work by today, so maybe we'll find out what's up", said Jonah. Rachel nodded, and placed her hand on Jonah's shoulder.
"I'm starting to understand why she hates coming to hospitals so much, this shit is aggravating", said Puck.
"Where's Santana", asked Rachel.
"In with her. Now, that was funny", laughed Jonah.
"Why", asked Rachel.
"She was trying to follow them in when they took Jade, but they wouldn't let her...so she went on a Spanish speaking rampage, and scared the Hell out of everyone. They even got a security guard on her, but after she broke out of his grasp...he was like "Yeah...maybe just let her go in"...it was baddass", laughed Jonah. Rachel just shook her head, and smiled.
After a few minutes of silence, Rachel decided to speak up. She needed a distraction.
"I saw Sunshine today."
"You did? Where", asked Puck.
"Starbucks. I tried talking to her, but...nothing."
"What do you think the situation is...I mean, do you think Jesse is...", asked Jonah, and Rachel nodded.
"Wow, that piece of shit needs a major beat down", said Puck, shaking his head.
"She was actually pretty scared about talking to me, but it's alright. I'm really not giving up that easily", said Rachel.
After a while, Santana finally came out to talk to everybody.
"Hey...so what'd they say", asked Jonah.
"They need an actual family member in there right now, so that's your cue", said Santana looking at him.
"Oh, okay", said Jonah, and he rushed off.
"Her legs are fine now, she can move. I guess this is a psychological problem", said Santana, sitting down.
"That doesn't make any sense, her legs were numb...that's totally physical", said Puck.
"No, like some people would have panic attacks, or anxiety attacks, but instead of her having an actual attack, this was her body's way of telling her that she's stressed the fuck out", said Santana.
"Wow, that sounds complicated", said Rachel.
"Yeah, but at least it wasn't perminant or anything, that seriously freaked me out...a lot", said Santana.
"Is it that same Doctor as before", asked Puck, and Santana nodded.
"Did she say anything about Jade's blood work", asked Rachel.
"Yeah...I guess, something is off. What it is, they aren't sure, but something is wrong", said Santana, sadly. Rachel and Puck knew she was trying to be strong, but she was scared, and it was obvious.
"Santana, trust me...I know how you're feeling right now. I don't really understand what the relationship between you and Jade is, but I know you really care about her. I know if anything horrible happened to her...you couldn't take it. I couldn't take it either", said Rachel.
"Me either", said Puck.
"I lost one girl like her, all because I couldn't just...let my guard down and...be...who I am. I fucking hate myself for that, and probably will forever, but...this sucks so bad. Now I'm secure with who I am, I find her...and...". She couldn't finished her statement because she had started to cry. Rachel leaned over, and hugged her.
"This is weird timing. I'm sorry, I'm not trying to piss you off or anything, Santana. But, I talked to Artie on the phone last night. Him and Brit are visiting here soon...", said Puck.
"Great...", laughed Santana, wiping some tears away."I get to watch the happy couple in all their glory."
"No you don't. They broke up, they're just friends now", said Puck.
"Really" ,asked Rachel, in shock.
"Yeah, that's what she told me on the phone."
"No, no no...this is horrible...I can't handle this", cried Santana.
"Shhhhh, it's okay San. Everything is going to be okay."