Writer's Note- I know, I know I've been slow on an update I'm sorry. Really quick...I had gotten some messages asking about where I pulled 'Jade" from. She's not a made up person, she's real I just changed her name. There's a thing in my profile that explains her. You can find her here, incase you wanna' know what she looks like. Just remember to add the "h" before the "ttp" and take out the spaces after the periods.
ttp:/zzriot. tumblr. com/
This chapter is kind of short...or maybe that's just me? I dunno lol but the next one makes up for it so it's okay, don't worry lol Love you guys, and remember reviews make me smile :) - See?
Quinn Fabray had seen anger. She'd seen it in all different forms, from many different people in her life. She understood that anger was a part of life, she knew how it could take over a person. However, she'd never thought she would ever see Rachel Berry as angry as she was, even as she stood watching her. Rachel was on a rampage, and it wasn't something Quinn expected. They had been talking about Jade's situation, and the realization that something might be really wrong with the girl, had hit Rachel hard. She started throwing whatever she could get her hands on, and screaming at the top of her lungs. Fifteen minutes later, it had only gotten worse.
"Get the fuck away from me, Noah", Rachel screamed as her fist flew towards him. He ducked, and she ended up punching nothing but air. Puck grabbed onto her, and lifted her into the air. Ignoring her struggle, and easily holding her, tightly. Quinn stood next to Mercedes, watching in shock as Puck and Jonah tried to calm Rachel down. Puck still had her lifted in the air, as she squirmed and moved around, using every bit of strength she had to get away from him.
"Noah Puckerman, if my feet aren't on the damn ground in the next five seconds, I swear...".
"He's not putting you down, Rach. Not until you chill out", said Jonah.
"Screw you, put me the Hell down", she screamed.
"Stop it", snapped Puck.
Mercedes looked at Quinn, and instantly felt so bad for her. She had tears in her eyes, and she couldn't take her attention away from the small brunette, fighting with all her might to get her way.
"Quinn."
She looked at Mercedes, and some of her tears started rolling down her cheeks.
"She does this sometimes."
"That's not her...Rachel doesn't get this angry...", said Quinn, wiping her tears.
"She does now, baby girl. It was weird for me too the first time I saw her like this. So, I'm letting you know...she does this sometimes."
Puck took a few steps forward and held Rachel up against the wall. He didn't want to resort to that, but he didn't think he had a choice. So, he just held her to the wall, as tightly as he could without actually hurting her.
"How dare you...God you are acting just like him", Rachel cried.
"Don't you even compare me to Jesse! I'm not gonna' hurt you like that, and you know I'm not so don't fucking act like I'm him", snapped Puck. Rachel stopped struggling just a little, and she looked hurt. Puck immediately felt bad, he knew yelling at her was a bad idea.
"Look...I'm sorry, I really am...but Rach, I just want you to calm down."
"I'm calm!"
"Yeah, all the broken glass and shit really proves your point", said Jonah, sarcastically.
Rachel started crying even more, and clearly she was starting to get tired.
"It's okay", said Puck.
"No it's not...it's not fucking okay...it never is", cried Rachel.
"You need to go relax, if you want I can make you tea...but you really need to chill. Can you please just stop fighting me, go in your room, and relax", asked Puck, but he didn't get an answer. Rachel just kept crying."Please, Fun Size?"
Rachel gave up, and stopped her squirming and fighting. Puck waited just a few seconds before he put her down, and backed off. Quinn approached her, and pulled her into a hug. Jonah and Mercedes started picking things up from the ground, when there was a knock on the door.
"Hundred bucks says it's the neighbor...", said Puck, as he walked to the door. When he opened it, sure enough, there she stood.
"Hey Ms. Jasper."
"Noah...what in the world is going on over here?"
"Nothing, Rachel had an episode, but everything is fine now."
"She woke me up from a dead sleep, I almost called 911", said the woman, trying her hardest to peek passed Noah into the apartment.
"No, you don't have to call anybody. We're all a little upset right now, but don't worry the noise is over and done with", said Puck.
"What's going on, why so upset", she asked. Quinn couldn't help but think that this woman had to be one of the nosiest people she had ever seen in her life.
"Jade's in the hospital", answered Puck, closing his eyes, and pinching the bridge of his nose.
"What? Oh my goodness, why?"
"She's sick, that's all we know, that's why she's there so they can find out what's wrong", explained Puck, as if he had dealt with the woman a hundred times.
"Well, I'm sorry to hear that, please keep me posted."
"We will Ms. Jasper...goodnight, thanks for stopping by...", said Puck, and he shut the door before she could asked anymore questions.
"Gooooddddddd", he groaned into his hands.
"She just like that nosy lady that lived across the street on Bewitched", laughed Mercedes.
"Baby I know just who you're talkin' about...the one who was always like...Abner...Abner", laughed Jonah, and they started laughing.
"I need to go to the roof...like now", said Rachel.
"Yeah? Are you sure you don't need tea, and sleep", asked Puck.
"I need both of those, but I need roof time, first", answered Rachel, as she headed for the door, pulling Quinn with her.
"Do what you do best up there baby girl, and just relax", said Mercedes. Rachel nodded, and her and Quinn headed out the door. Once they were up there, Quinn tried to get Rachel to sit down, but she wouldn't.
"Come on, Rach...sit with me", said the blond, pulling Rachel's arm.
"No...no I'm far too restless...I can't sit still. I can't...I just...need to move", cried Rachel, in a very panicked tone.
"Okay, okay...but just...slow down. Breathe, sweetie...just breathe", said Quinn, pulling the shorter girl close to her body. Rachel cuddled as close as she could into Quinn, taking slow deep breathes.
"I know, you're scared but Santana's with her...she'll most likely be home tomorrow. It's all gonna' be okay." Rachel just nodded. Although she wasn't happy with Rachel's current mood, Quinn was happy. It wasn't that she didn't trust Puck, or Jade or anyone else to calm Rachel down, or be there for her, but now she was there. It was her arms that Rachel was cuddled into at the end of a long day."I wish you could stop crying...".
"I'm s-sorry...".
"Don't be, I just want you to feel better."
"How can I? My best friend is sick, and trapped in a place that she only visits in her nightmares. My Ex boyfriend is making another girl's life a living Hell...".
"You don't know that, Rachel."
"Actually...I do. I went and found Sunshine today."
"No, come on Rachel, why", whined Quinn.
"Quinn...I had to. I had to know. And, I could tell just by looking at her that history is repeating itself. The poor thing looked so warn out. She was afraid to talk to me, she ended up just running away from me", cried Rachel.
"Did you honestly expect her to just admit to everything, and leave him, just like that?"
"Ofcorse not, but you have to admit, it's a nice thought."
Quinn smiled a little.
"Yes, it is a nice thought, and I do have to admit it. Mainly, because I've had the very same thought about you."
Rachel lifted her head, and looked at Quinn. Clearly she was confused. Quinn wiped some of the tears from her face, and rested her hand on her cheek.
"When we first started hanging out, after you finally stopped pushing me away...I'd think about how if and when we ended up together...the sparkle in your eyes would return instantly."
"Oh God...I must me making you more miserable than I thought, Quinn. I'm so sorry...".
'No, no, stop. That isn't what I'm trying to say at all. I know I can't make it all go away Rachel, I know that...I know I can't fix you just by kissing you, or holding you...but, I can try. And I will always try."
"But, what if I stay broken forever, will you still...love me?"
Quinn just smiled, and answered Rachel's question by kissing her softly on the lips.
The next morning, afternoon, Jade sat Indian style on the rooftop of the apartment building. She was looking up at the clouds, and every time the wind picked up, she closed her eyes, and took a deep breath in. She had been cooped up inside of the hospital all night, and most of the morning, and the freedom she felt at the moment was something to be appreciated. She had incense burning, and was trying to very hardest to just relax, and take in the day. After she had been sitting there for about fifteen minutes, she heard footsteps behind her. She turned, and Rachel was walking towards her.
"Hi Rea Rea", she said, happily.
"Hey you, are are you feeling?"
"I feel...amazing", sighed Jade.
"I was just reading your discharge papers...it was written that you were advised, on more than one occasion to stay for longer observation, but you refused...".
"I couldn't do it...I just...well, you know how I feel about those places...they scare me. It was bad enough I was there overnight. Only thing that made it better was the fact that Santana stayed with me."
"She's pissed at you...you do know that, right?"
"Yeah, I know, she wanted me to stay there too. But, I'll tell you the same thing I told her...my legs are fine, they said it was basically my mind playing tricks on me. No harm done, I'm good."
"Are you at least planning on going to the weekly appointments?"
"Yeah...".
"You better, because you had me worried sick. Why the Hell didn't you tell me that you couldn't move your legs when I left your room?"
"I didn't want you to worry...".
"Well, next time you need to tell me...".
"I heard you melted down last night...I'm not worth all that, you know", said Jade, sadly.
"You're my best friend."
"I know, but you have other friends...and now you have Quinn. You can't lie to me either, I can so tell you're in love. Which is funny, because I remember asking you a long ago how you felt like girls, and you said you had no problem with it, but you were as straight as a line...", giggled Jade.
"Well...I mean, I guess...I don't...", Rachel stuttered.
"Uh-huh, that's what I thought. I know you like to think that you and Quinn bitching at yelling at each other all the time had everybody fooled. But, you'd be surprised at how many people knew what was really going on...", said Jade.
"Awe, screw you", laughed Rachel.
"Can I ask you ask you something?"
"Sure, you can."
"When you think of Quinn, and how she makes you feel every time you're around her...what song do you think of?"
"You really believe I think of a song, every single time I'm around her", asked Rachel.
"Please, I know you. I know you do, because I do the same thing. And, not just with people I'm in relationships with...with my friends, and family and stuff too. But, you're wired musically, like I am...".
"Okay, okay, yes I do think of one song in particular, but why do you ask?"
"You know my friend, Alyson?"
"Yeah...".
"She was supposed to preform tonight, but she canceled...and-"
"Fine, I'll fill in. How many songs?"
"Only two, then Jonah's gonna' be on music the rest of the time, I swear."
"What's this have to do with the song I think of when I'm with Quinn?"
"Because, you smile a lot more these days. She makes you happy, and you need to express that happiness...the best way you know how."
Rachel just smiled.
"I'm serious, when she's around you get happy...like...like when I get when I'm watching Alice In Wonderland", laughed Jade. Rachel laughed with her, and they stayed up there for a while, talking. Mostly about Quinn and Santana.
That night, Jade was happily working behind the bar as the usual weekend regulars filed into Smashed. Quinn, and Santana were sitting at the bar, drinks in front of them, watching Jade very closely.
"This is bullshit", said Santana.
"What is?"
"She shouldn't be here, she should be at home off her feet like that Dr. Andrews chick told her to be."
"Obviously, she feels much better, San. So, just let it go" ,said Quinn. Jade came bouncing over, with a huge smile on her face."You guys good? You need refills?"
"No, what I need is for you to stop acting like you're healthy as ever, go home, and get in your damn bed", snapped Santana. Jade looked like she had just been slapped right across the face.
"Santana, you need to calm down...now", growled Quinn.
"No, screw that...she shouldn't be fucking working and she knows it", said Santana, and she got up and walked away. Jade didn't say anything, she just watched her walk away, with a very sad expression on her face.
"Hey...it's alright, you know how she gets", said Quinn.
"Yeah...I guess...", said Jade, and she went back to work. Quinn felt so bad, and was about to go talk with Santana, but she heard Rachel's voice on over the speakers.
"How's everyone tonight...", she asked, and the crowd responded by cheering loudly."Good to hear. Obviously...I'm singing something right now...but this is actually pretty special. I'm dedicating this song to a person here tonight, a person that means the world to me. During high school...I fought constantly to get somebody's attention. We all do that, right?"
Most of the crowd agreed.
"Well, see it wasn't that simple for me, it never was. I actually managed to take it step farther...and I fought to get somebody's attention, just to get somebody else s attention. I screwed myself over,and broke some hearts in the process. I'd take it back if I could, honestly...but I can't. So, this song...I don't know...just listen."
Rachel-
Think of me when you're out, when you're out there
I'll beg you nice from my knees
When the world treats you way too fairly
It's a shame I'm a dream
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you
Rachel locked her eyes with Quinn's as she sang the song, and at that moment knew, she made the right choice by admitting how she felt. Sure, it had happened weeks before, but there was always just the tiniest bit of doubt in the back of her mind.
I think I'll pace my apartment a few times
And fall asleep on the couch
And wake up early to black and white re-runs?
That escaped from the mouth
Oh-Oh
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you
I could follow you to the beginning
And just relive the start
And maybe then we'll remember to slow down
To all of our favorite parts
All I wanted was you
Jade was enjoying listening to Rachel sing, but she started to feel a little light headed. She was kind of sad that Santana had yelled at her, and then just walked away. She didn't plan on saying anything to her about it, but she did need to step outside for a minute. She made sure one of the other bartenders knew she was taking a break, and as Rachel finished her song, she walked out front. She started going through her pockets, and rummaging around.
"Don't even, you're not supposed to smoke", she heard Santana say from behind her. She turned around, and Santana was there, smoking a cigarette herself.
"Yeah, I know", said Jade. She wasn't going to argue, she knew it would be useless. She just stood looking down at the ground. All she wanted to do was cry. Santana took a few steps forward, and stopped in front of her.
"I'm...sorry...", she mumbled.
"It's okay", said Jade, but she had started to cry. Santana flicked her cigarette, grabbed onto Jade, and hugged her."I didn't mean it...I just...feel like you should have stayed in the hospital at least one more night."
"Santana, those places just make everything worse for me. If you wouldn't have been there...I...I...", Jade stuttered through her tears.
"I was there. And I woulda' been there as long as you needed me to be. You're freaking me the Hell out Jade, I can tell just by holding you right now that you have a fever...and that is not okay", said Santana, resting her hand on Jade's cheek.
"I feel like I can be here...I wanna' work...".
"I know you do, but you shouldn't be."
Jade started crying even more. She knew Santana wasn't trying to sound harsh, but she did and it was making her feel like she was doing something wrong.
"San...".
"You can work if you want, I'm not gonna' stop you, long as you know that I'm not okay with it, and it's...hurting me. Jade...it's hurting me because I know you are just disregarding your health as if it was nothing. I know you're holding in the pain...you can't get away with that around me, I've told you that before."
"San...please...", cried Jade, still hanging onto her.
"No, go ahead. Go back in there and work, but don't be surprised if you fall on your ass because your legs go numb again", said Santana, and she let go of Jade, and back inside. She found her way over to Puck, and stood with him.
Rachel had finished her first song, and was sitting with Quinn at the bar.
"So, all you wanted was me during school", Quinn asked, smiling.
"Oh stop, don't make me say...", said Rachel.
"Were you really wasting all your time with Finn...just to get to me?"
"Looking back...I think so, but...I always knew it was a lost cause. I thought you hated me, so...even if I would have, gotten to you at all...as far as I was concerned, it wouldn't have mattered. I thought you were straight."
"I am straight", said Quinn, a little too quickly. Rachel just give her a funny look.
'I mean...I was. I was...I just...well, you know", said Quinn.
Rachel just laughed, and kissed Quinn on the cheek. All of the sudden, there was a tiny commotion near the entrance of the bar. The bouncer emerged from the crowd, walking as fast as he could towards the DJ booth. He whispered something in Jonah's ear, and he jumped down the from the booth, and followed the bouncer outside. Rachel put her attention back on the bar, and noticed Jade wasn't behind it.
"Oh no...", she said, standing up, and heading for the door. At that point, Puck and Santana were already heading for the door, and Quinn snapped out of her daze, and followed Rachel. Once outside, they all heard Jonah freaking out.
"Dude, what do you mean she just left with some dude?"
"I dunno' man, she was out here, crying and I asked her if she needed anything she said no, she was good. I was gonna' try talking to her more, but then some dude pulled up in a mustang and yelled at her through the window. She hesitated for like a minute, but then she got in, and he drove away", said the bouncer.
"What...the...Hell...", mumbled Santana.
"This makes no damn sense", said Rachel.
"What'd the dude look like", asked Puck.
"Actually...he kinda' looked like you", said the bouncer, looking at Jonah.
"Oh, mother fucker...", said Jonah, covering his face with his hands.
"What? Who was it", asked Quinn.
"I'm pretty sure it was our older brother...', said Jonah, getting his phone from his pocket. He started texting frantically."She's probably been talking to him again. See, now her stress level makes sense, now I get why she's getting sick again."
"Again? You mean this has happened before", snapped Puck.
"And you didn't say anything, because why", asked Rachel, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Yeah, and why is it bad that she's with him right now", asked Santana.
"Because, he's why she gets sick, he's why she gets stressed out, and I can't say anymore than that. Just get your phones out, call and text her like crazy, she needs to be back here, and away from him like now."
Everybody was getting worried, Jonah was angry, but he also seemed really scared. They did as they were told, and pulled out their cell phones. After a while, they all gave up on trying to get ahold of Jade. Jonah left Puck in charge of the Dj booth, and took off to go look for her. Santana felt horrible for what she had said to Jade, wasn't having fun, and decided to leave the bar. Rachel helped some of the other employees with things, before her and Quinn headed back to the apartment. It was almost two o'clock in the morning when they walked through the door. Rachel hollered for Jade, then for Jonah but she didn't get an answer.
"Okay, this is so messed up, I have never seen Jonah so upset over his brother like that", said Rachel, taking off her Jacket.
"So, you really have no idea why he's so upset about this", asked Quinn.
"I really don't, but I'm scared."
"I know what will make you feel better...", said Quinn.
"Oh God...what?"
Quinn smiled, reached into her purse, and pulled out a DVD.
"No", said Rachel, before turning and walking into the kitchen."Fuck that."
"You can pretend all you want that you don't like this movie anymore, but I think the Funny Girl herself would be so sad right now, I really do", teased Quinn.
"Screw you...", laughed Rachel.
"Please? I've never watched it before...I wanna' watch it with you."
"Quinn Fabray, you've never seen Funny Girl before", asked Rachel, as if she had never been more offended in her life.
"Oh wow, look who's suddenly got a fire lit under their ass...".
"Fine, we'll watch it, but only because I need a distraction, and because you're ridiculous and haven't seen the only movie that matters."
Quinn smiled, as the two of them headed, hand in hand towards Rachel's room. Completely unaware of the horror that waited for them on the other side of the door.
Song Rachel Sang was "All I Wanted" By: Paramore