Give a little time to me or burn this out,
We'll play hide and seek to turn this around,
All I want is the taste that your lips allow,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,

Long lost & gone

Chapter 8

She woke up alone, her eyes scanning the room, searching for him.

But he wasn't there.

She threw the covers off of her when she heard a noise downstairs, in a heartbeat she got up and pulled her jeans and gray t-shirt on. She rushed into the corridor almost tripping over the carpet, she ran down the stairs and paused when she got to the bottom of it. The noises came from the kitchen, she tiptoed down the hall and prepared herself to enter the kitchen, taking a deep breath and placing a hand on her heart, trying to stop it from pounding so fast. Preparing herself for seeing the black raven hair again, the ocean blue eyes, the perfect body, the perfect face, the perfect man.

She turned around the corner and gasped.

"I decided to make you breakfast."

Caroline stood behind the counter and held up a plate with fruit, bread, coffee and she had even made pancakes. Her stomach was suddenly feeling very weird.

"I'm not hungry." she wanted to get back into bed, back under the warm covers, she wanted to escape from this world, escape from it and never come back.

Before she reached the stairs, Caroline used her vampire speed to get in front of her.

"Elena, I'm so sorry." the vampire was holding her wrist, preventing her from moving any further.

She wasn't in the mood for this, she didn't even know what her friend was talking about "Sorry for what?" she immediately regretted snapping at her friend.

"For bringing him back."the vampire's voice was barely a whisper and her eyes were staring at the ground, ashamed to look at the person she held captive.

This conversation was suddenly becoming interesting. She had brought him back? Why? Why did Caroline bring him back when everyone wanted him to stay away from her, as far as possible?

"You brought him back?" her voice broke and she looked at the vampire, desperately trying to connect their eyes so she could see the emotions in them.

Caroline looked up, surprised. "He didn't tell you?"

"We haven't really talked, we're keeping our distance."it hurt her to say those words, she and Damon had never kept their distance.

Caroline raised her eyebrow"Keeping your distance huh? Then why can I smell him all over you?" she crossed her arms, feeling smart.

Elena looked at the floor, not wanting to answer the question, not wanting to share that moment, their moments, since he came back.

Caroline pushed her chin up with one finger, giving her no other choice than to look at her "Then why can I see the sparkle back in your eyes? The sparkle I haven't seen in five years? Then why do you look stronger? Stronger than I have seen you in five years? Then why do you seem more happy than I've seen you in the last five years?"

"Maybe because Stefan is gone and I have this big house to myself?" she lifted her eyebrow, looking arrogant towards her friend, trying to dodge the question.

"Yeah maybe." Caroline breathed, eyes on the floor.

Thinking the conversation was over, Elena tried to get past the vampire, trying to get upstairs in the warm bed when suddenly Caroline's head snapped up "But it's not." she stared straight into Elena's eyes "Maybe you can't see it, but your body has already registered his, it has already starting to heal, it has already found his way back to his, it has already decided to never let his go again, it has already welcomed him home."

Elena turned around to face her friend, Caroline's face became full of compassion seeing the agony in the eyes of the human girl standing next to her. "Why did you bring him back?"

Caroline pulled Elena down with her, placing her on the step and taking a seat next to her.

"Because I wouldn't have forgiven myself if I hadn't tried, you were unhappy, so unhappy and you've been it for such a long time. I couldn't stand it, not when I knew there was a way to fix it. You should have seen you the day you found out, there was this fire in you that had been missing for a long time and it only lit up again because you could be happy again, you were fighting to be happy again." Caroline had pulled her into her arms when she had started sobbing and tried to soothe her.

"But it wasn't your fault, you didn't know. They pulled us apart, ripped our souls from each other and they didn't do anything to make me happy again. It wasn't your task Caroline. Bonnie should have known, I don't get how she could betray me like that, how she could hurt me and lie to me, how she could see me hurt and not do anything about it, she should have told me, she wouldn't have to go look for him, I would look for him, I would have looked until I found him but she never gave me that chance, she never gave me the chance to be happy."

Caroline's lip started trembling, holding back sobs and trying to be strong for her friend. "She didn't mean to hurt you, she thought that she was doing the right thing just like Stefan did. They thought that he used you, abused you, seduced you." Caroline took a breath and felt a lump in her throat

"Maybe he did." Elena felt her heart squeeze together in pain, thinking about how he had left her, how he had known that she was alive and didn't come back for her.

"He used me Elena, he never used you, you changed him, he changed without realizing it, he changed because he wanted to, for you."

"But now he doesn't talk to me, he ignores me, he said he left me because he wanted to, he said he knew I wasn't dead, he said that he came back to give me his blessing." her breathing became faster and tears were rolling down her cheeks "He gave me his blessing to marry Stefan."

Caroline pulled her closer and rubbed her arm fiercely "He isn't the same anymore, you weren't the only one that got hurt that night. When I found him he acted like he didn't know me, I had to mention your name a thousand times to get trough to him, I mentioned Stefan, Katherine, Alaric but your name was the only one that got trough to him. I had to beg him to come here, he said you were fine, that you were happy. He told me that it was to dangerous to come back, that he didn't want to mess with your happiness by coming back."

Elena pulled herself out of Caroline's embrace and leaned against the railing. "But I'm not happy, I'm everything but happy. I don't know what I have to do, he doesn't want to talk to me, he avoids me and I need to talk to him. But the longer he's here, the more scared I am, maybe I don't want to hear the story, maybe I just want him to be here, to hold me, to get back to how we were. But we can't, I'm engaged to Stefan, I promised I would marry him even if Damon is back, he gave me his blessing, he gave me enough reasons to go trough with the wedding. But I don't know, it feels so wrong, Stefan he's good and he tries to protect me but with Damon I already feel safe just by being with him, I already feel happy when he's just here, arguing with me." she looked down, ashamed of what she's going to say "Arguing, fighting, hating Damon, it makes me happier than making love to Stefan, it makes me feel alive."

Caroline just nodded understanding "I know it's hard and maybe it doesn't make sense to neither of us. But it's the right thing to do, even if it is the hardest thing you'll ever do."

It was Elena's turn to nod "I know, I have to choose."

Caroline shook her head, disappointed." That's not what I meant." Elena looked at her confused, trying to make sense of their conversation when Caroline spoke again.

"It's never going to be easy to love Damon."

She had never thought that a small town could be so big, she had looked everywhere for him. She had been waiting for him in the boardinghouse, day and night, she barely slept and was afraid to close her eyes, afraid that she would miss him when she did.

When he hadn't returned after three days she decided to look for him, she had turned Mystic Falls upside down, searching under every rock, every corner, everywhere.

She was driving around, searching every street. Eventually without noticing it, she crossed the boarder. She drove for hours, without realizing where she was going. There was a sign on the road, there was only one word on it, but the word meant so much to her, to them, that one word gave her after the meaningless driving a destination, it said 'Georgia'.

Just like the sign had found her, the bar found her too. She parked her car and looked around, finding a very familiar blue Camaro parked in the darkest corner of the parking lot. Taking a deep breath and grabbing her jacket in the backseat, she got out and started moving towards the bar. She noticed that the name had changed but she could see from outside that the interior hadn't.

She stepped inside, earning looks from the guys at the bar who were all checking her out, so it was this kind of bar. A few of them patted the seat next to them, hinting for her to come sit with them but she ignored them and scanned the room. There were couples sitting on the tables against the wall, heavy make-out sessions were apparently no problem in here, there were a few guys playing pool, there were a lot of drunks sitting on the bar in front of the tap, motioning the bartender for a new round. And there was one guy sitting on the other side of the bar, a glass of bourbon in his hand, the bottle standing in front of him, he looked lost like she had been, he looked like he didn't care like she had, he looked like someone had left him, like she had.

She made her way towards him, she felt a few slaps on her ass but chose to ignore them, this men didn't deserve her attention. Not now the object of her attention was finally within reach.

He didn't move when she pulled the seat next to him back, settling herself on it and throwing her jacket on the one next to her. He filled his glass once more and drowned it in one gulp.

"I had to travel to another State for you to find me, I' left Mystic Falls yesterday, you couldn't have found me there?" he looked straight ahead, toying with the glass in his hand, his jaw was tensed, his whole body was.

"I would have found you five years ago if I had known you were alive, but apparently you didn't want me to find you." her voice was full of anger thinking about how she had longed for him, how she would have searched for him if she had known, if she had just known.

He let out a hard laugh " So would you have found me before or after you were engaged to my brother?" his voice sounded harsh, this was him shutting her out, shutting his emotions off, she had witnessed it many times before and she had always been the one to tear the wall down but she had never been the one to bring it up.

"How can you blame me for that, you left me, you left me to marry Stefan, you said it yourself." she was nearly yelling and the couple sitting closest to them at one of the tables looked up annoyed, annoyed because their make-out session was interrupted.

For the first time that night he turned his head around, fixing his gaze on hers, locking their eyes so she couldn't escape. "I left you to be happy, not to marry him, I left you to marry some random human guy that would give you a family, a home with a white picket fence around it, a dog running after your kids in the yard, a minivan on the driveway, soccer games on Sunday mornings, barbecues with your neighbors, family dinners with Jenna. I wanted you to be human, a happy human." his eyes were boring into hers and she could see that he meant every word of it.

"But I didn't choose that life, I knew what I gave up when I chose you." she grabbed his hands trying to make him understand that she didn't want this human life without him, that she didn't want any life without him. Life without him would be an empty space, it would be a waste to live it.

"But you never chose me, you were always Stefan's." he pulled his hands out of hers and turned his head down to stare at the counter.

It was her turn to let out a sharp laugh, a laugh of disbelief "But I did, I always chose you, I chose you the first time you touched me, the first time our fingers intertwined, the first time our lips met, the first time our skins touched." she grabbed his hands again and this time he didn't pull away "I became yours the first time our bodies merged into one."

He looked up at her and she could see the sadness behind his eyes "I can't do this, I can't go back to that, I'm bad for you, you deserve so much better, I'll hurt you, I'll break you, I'll destroy you, I'll destroy me by doing all those things to you. I can't have you." his voice broke emphasizing the sadness she had seen in his eyes.

She got up and came to stand right in front of him, their hands still locked. He followed her every movement and his eyes never left hers, there was a small smile on her lips "But if you can't have me than no one can't, because I won't have anybody else but you."

He looked tortured, he looked torn, he looked broken. She wanted to comfort him, to cherish him, to save him and she did it the only way she knew how to, the only way she did it five years ago. She cupped his face in her hands and stroked his cheek with her thumb, she lowered her head to his and felt his cold breath on her face, she closed her eyes and waited for the touch of his lips, when they touched she could feel it trough her whole body, it was true what Caroline had said, her body had already welcomed him home.

He pulled back for a second, scanning her face, searching for regret. He didn't find it, all he could see was the lust, the passion, the longing, the need. He could see that she needed this as much as him. She stared back at him, telling him with her eyes how much she had wanted this, how much she had longed for this, how much she really needed this.

He stood up and pulled her body against his, he pushed his arms behind her back and pulled her chest against his, she could feel the electricity, her tummy clenched and her nipples hardened, she threw her arms around his neck and stroked his hair with one of her hands, the other one grabbed his neck, pulling him closer to her. She felt his tongue pushing against her lower lip demanding entrance, an entrance she granted him, an entrance he had acquired long ago. She pushed her tongue against his and fought with him, they fought for all the years they had missed this, they fought for all the times they should have done this, they fought because they couldn't deny this anymore, they fought because their lives depended on it.

When she needed oxygen he released her mouth and started placing kisses on her cheek and neck, she grabbed his shoulders and clung onto him. She let her head rest on his shoulder so she could whisper in his ear "Get us out of here."

They stumbled into the motel room, it was old, dusty and certainly not very romantic. But that wasn't what they needed in this moment, the only thing they needed in this room was the bed and each other.

They were clawing on each others clothes desperate for them to come off, he ripped her blouse from her body and placed kisses on her bare shoulders while she was fumbling with the buttons on his shirt, it probably took her too long because he pushed her hands away and tore it open, throwing it on the ground next to hers. He launched himself at her lips again, bruising them but she didn't care, she tried to press every inch of her body against his, he had removed her bra in one swift motion, ripping the bands so now both their chests were naked.

She looked at his body, she had missed it, her body had missed it, it wasn't because it was perfection, it wasn't because she had never seen anything so beautiful in her whole life, it was because this body was made for hers, her soul was made for his, her heart was made to carry him, her love was meant to save him, to save them.

They had moved to the bed where she was pinned underneath him, carrying his weight. He could see her staring at him and gave her a small smile. She returned it by pulling him down and pressing her lips against his, it felt so right, it shouldn't but it did, they were bad for each other, the world was a dangerous place when they were together, they would kill anyone that stood in their way, they would kill for each other and it terrified her, thinking that even now after five years that she would still do it, he had been gone for so long and the feelings she had for him hadn't fade, they had only increased. Before he left she would have thought about it before killing someone but now, now she could keep him here, she wouldn't think about it, she would do it without any regret, without any remorse, she would do it again and again.

"If we do this.." his voice interrupted her thoughts, she could see he had a hard time spitting it out like he usually did. "If we do this you have to promise me something."

"Anything." knowing she would promise him anything, she didn't want to talk right now, they would have eternity to talk, right now she needed this, she needed him.

"I..." she pressed her finger to his lips, silencing him.

"Shhh, I promise."she replaced her finger with her lips and whispered against them "Anything."

He didn't seem to find the courage to argue and kissed her back, she lowered her hands and unzipped his jeans, revealing the black comfy boxers she had worn with him years ago.

A small chuckle left her lips and he looked at her, strange and amused.

"I've missed those." she traced the waistband of the boxers with her finger.

He let out a small laugh "You can have them." before she could blink his jeans and boxers were on the floor and she felt his hardness press against her thigh.

"Do you want mine too?" it was strange that they could be teasing each other when their insides were burning to be collided. It was strange that she could laugh and feel so happy when their was still so much pain inside of her.

He looked at her and she could see the familiar smirk appear, once long ago it had bothered her but now she realized she had missed it more than anything.

"I want them on the ground." he leaned down to press a short kiss to her lips "Now." and she felt him pulling off the black panties.

He settled himself between her legs and looked at her, still looking for regret, still waiting for her to run away, but if there was anywhere she was going to run to it would be to him.

The moment he entered her she felt her body relax and tense at the same time, he pushed further into her and every inch made her crave more, her walls didn't try to push him out like they tried with Stefan, they welcomed him and swallowed him eagerly. When he filled her completely, they paused a moment to look at each other, to realize that after all those years, after all the waiting and longing, after all the pain and heartbreak, they were finally one again.

He started moving and after five years she could finally enjoy this again, having another body pressed against hers, having someone inside her.

Their moans and breaths became synchronized just like the arching of her hips moved with his thrusts. They were still a perfect fit, something that had never changed, something that would never change, his head still filled the crook of her neck and her legs were just the right size to encircle his waist and push him deeper inside of her.

Their names were screamed and sighed into the room, they reached their climax together and he fell on top of her but still inside her. They were trembling, panting, gasping for air. They lay like that for a couple of minutes. He felt that she was breathing heavy and tried to move of her when she held him tighter, telling him not to move. She liked having his weight on her, it made him real, she liked having him inside her, it made her feel whole and it eased the pain in her chest where the empty space had been for the last five years.

She noticed he was asleep on top of her, inside her, she held him tighter and closed her eyes, drifting into sleep, vaguely wondering what she had promised him.