As per the norm, the Vampire Mountain Secret Santa gift exchange was a wild affair.
Mika's secret Santa was Kurda- Kurda gave him a wheelbarrow of black studded clothing, a lot of which Mika actually liked, as he admitted begrudgingly. And also a Kylie lip kit which was Mika immediately re-gifted back to him. It was the best Christmas of his life.
Larten's Secret Santa was Paris- who renewed his yearly memberships to every video streaming website from Netflix to HBO, and hacked Netflix so Larten could watch the next season of Stranger Things 1 hour before the rest of the world (and he planned on spoiling all of it for Arrow, who didn't actually like the show but that's beside the point). In addition to this, he also gave him a pair of fuzzy red socks. It was the best Christmas of his life.
Harkat's Secret Santa was Arrow. He gave him a set of bongo drums, a plastic helmet that could hold 2 canned drinks with straws that could reach the wearer's mouth, and he even hand-made him a booklet of coupons for Tall/Strong Person Services. For example, they could be redeemed at any time if someone needed help opening a jar, or reaching the chocolate advent calendars on the fridge, breaking a wall (maybe the fourth one again), etc etc. For his first act as a registered Tall/Strong person, he let Harkat sit on his shoulders so he could look down on everyone for a change. It was the best Christmas of his life.
Paris's Secret Santa was Seba. Seba declared he was giving out free hugs. Well, he said he was. He failed to actually produce any hugs on that day, and added that there would be an 11$ surcharge per hug when he eventually decided to provide them, which he would do at his own discretion. Everyone agreed that his history lessons were enough of a gift and that hugs weren't necessary. But worry not about Paris, Harkat caught wind of Seba's plans and ordered Paris a drone which he could operate from his iPad. Obviously it was the best Christmas of his life and Harkat was a saint.
Kurda's Secret Santa was Mika. Kurda looked absolutely overjoyed as Mika handed him a small box wrapped in turquoise ribbon. It was a stunning men's watch, shiny carbon black in colour with a dazzling array of diamonds set into the face. On the back was engraved a touching inscription- "I don't hate you ." It was the best Christmas of Kurda's life (again, since also retained possession of the lip kits).
Arrow's Secret Santa was Larten. He received a fuzzy wool sweater covered in penguins. He opened it and stared down at it, stone-faced. Larten looked apprehensive at first; Arrow was a lot bigger than he was and he didn't look impressed. Then he threw his head back and laughed uproariously.
"I love it! Look at them! Guys, look! Did you see them? Look at all the penguins. I CAN WEAR ALL OF THESE PENGUINS!" And he put it on immediately and smiled smugly for the rest of the night. It was the best Christmas of his life.
Seba's Secret Santa was Darren. Darren took Secret Santa very seriously and took the time to prepare Seba a gift basket featuring a collection of his favourite things: a box of waffle mix (wifflewafers as Seba called them), a rubber ducky, a jug of eggnog, fuzzy socks with rubber grips on the bottoms, a Grumpy Cat hoodie, and a hat with furry ear flaps. Seba promptly upended the basket and wore it as a hat, ignoring all of its contents. It was the best Christmas of his life.
For a final plot twist, everyone got segways- courtesy of Harkat. He was supposed to be Secret Santa for Darren, but was actually a happy accident. He meant to order one for each of them. Their little legs made it hard to keep up with the big vampires and he figured they could use a little extra power. But he accidentally added 8 to his cart on eBay, rather than just 2. But no one was complaining- except Darren, who wasn't allowed to play on his until he was concussion-free, and even so he would be forced to wear a helmet and full protective gear by decree of Mr. Crepsley himself. Maybe it was the concussion, but Darren's annoyance was short-lived.
"I love you guys." He sighed peacefully. "Even though you're not my girlfriend and this isn't Vegas and the room is spinning again."
"Maybe you should go lie down." Arra suggested with concern.
"That's a grand idea." Darren muttered, sprawling out in the wrapping paper remnants and pulling them around him like blankets until he was sufficiently swaddled. Larten rolled his eyes and tucked a cushion under the boy's head so it wasn't resting on the ground. "My life hurts." Darren declared. "Can I have some drugs?"
"We got you, fam." Said Mika, holding out a pack of Advil.
"Pick your poison." Arrow added. He produced heavy-duty Tylenol.
"I don't have drugs, but I do have Tic Tacs." Paris added.
"Tic Tacs are the best drug of all the drugs!" Darren chuckled happily, waving his arms up at the 3 princes.
"Not that you would know about drugs." Said Larten reproachfully.
Darren continued to giggle at nothing in particular. And there it was, another saved-from-the-brink-of-disaster-at-the-last-possible-second-by-impossible-circumstances-after-getting-wildly-out-of-hand Vampire Mountain Christmas in the books. Safe for another 365 days. Maybe next year Darren would get to spend Christmas with his girlfriend, but for now (to Larten's immense and invisible relief) he was still very much in the nest. A nest of shredded wrapping paper to be exact. In fact, from an aerial view it almost looked like a manger. As Paris's new drone arced towards the ceiling snapping photos, it captured a moment that looked very similar to a scene found in many human homes around this time of year. In the wrapping paper manger lay a concussed and oblivious teen-baby. Around him gathered 3 kings bearing gifts of Advil, Tylenol, and Tic-Tacs. By his feet sat a little drummer person testing out his new set of bongo drums with no great skill. To the west, a grizzled old man was shepherding a handful of mountain goats towards the gathering. (How Seba had summoned these goats into the mountain on such short notice was anybody's guess). Perhaps they were drawn in by the light that was being emitted from the tree- Kurda had made his way half-way up, determined to be the star at the top. He wasn't quite high enough to overtake the star but his white cashmere bathrobe and gold tinsel weave did give him the appearance of a very self-absorbed angel. He would take that star out or die trying. And what Nativity is complete without a couple of mildly concerned parents? Larten and Arra were quietly arguing back and forth over whether they should take Darren to bed or let him snooze beneath the tree. Darren didn't care either way; after all there were a few hundred more Christmases just like this one to look forwards to. Maybe it was a wonderful life.