Title: There's No Place like Home

Disclaimer: Nope.

Thanks to piratemonkey06, vanrigsby, Frogster, tromana, AngryLittlePrincess, Wldmnn, Aqua Mage, WeBuiltThePyramids, and SteeleSimz for the reviews. :)

4—the City of Emerald

Grace watched the joyous crew of the scarecrow; the tin man, the cowardly lion, and Jane stroll down the red brick road in her crystal ball, before she turned to her flying monkey pals.

"I really hate doing this to him, but well…I'm not the Wicked Witch of the West for nothing." Grace explained, as she sprinkled the concoction she had brewed over the crystal ball and waved her hand—a red poppy field appeared, and she frowned. "I can make roads red, and poppies red—but I can't make buildings red?" She shook her head. "I'll never understand the logic behind these things, but then again, neither will they." She nodded. "I'll then take the ruby tie from him, and I'll rule this land. Yes, I will. All three of them will be…dead?"

The flying monkey next to her jabbered excitedly.

"I know he killed my sister." Grace answered. "I just don't really feel like killing them all."

The flying monkey jabbered again.

"If it helps, it's a poisonous field of poppies."

The flying monkey continued on.

"I'm not doing this for you." Grace snapped, as she refocused her attention back on the crystal ball.

"I'll be back to work in time for tea!" Jane clamored, excitedly as he caught sight of the Emerald City—shining in all of its glory set beyond a field of red poppies. "I'm not crazy about these flowers though."

"It's a sight, isn't it?" Wainwright asked, and Jane glanced at him. "Emerald City. Not the flowers."

Rigsby nodded. "What else do you think is in there?"

"People." Cho responded, and Jane shrugged.

"I don't really know, nor do I really care. I just want to get back to my couch." Jane started forward into the poppies, when a sudden lethargic feeling charged through his body; he tried to mask his yawn, but something was eating up all his energy and he had to stop. "I am not sleeping on this ground."

"You shouldn't sleep at all," Wainwright argued. "Couch or ground, because this is your entirefault."

"Somehow," Jane argued. "I think you're just jealous of my couch."

Rigsby yawned, as did Cho. "I'm getting tired too."

"I think Cranberry is already passed out."

"Good!" Jane cheered, exhaustedly. "Maybe the dog will stop following me around!" He suddenly collapsed to the ground in exhaustion, and closed his eyes. "Wake me when this is all over."

Grace shook her head, as she watched the group stare at Jane. "I guess I should go get my tie now, so go fetch me the rest of my winged monkeys."

The flying monkey jabbered excitedly, and Grace sighed.

"Good help is hard to find."

"Do you think we should lift him?" Rigsby asked Cho, who seemed to be unaffected by the sleeping Jane.

"I think we should leave him here." Wainwright yawned.

"He needs to get home."

"We can sneak off, before he wakes up." Wainwright argued, as he fell back into the flowers. Cho just shook his head.

"Would it be appropriate to play rock, paper, scissors to decide who carries him?" Rigsby inquired, and Cho stared.

"I'm not carrying him."

"How about him?" Rigsby aimed his hand at the lion, who continued to sleep away. "Because, I'm not carrying him." Before the two could continue to argue on who would carry who, it began to snow and Jane sat up.

"I go to sleep, and it's snowing?" Jane shook his head. "The weather here is awfully bipolar, like Lisbon after her organizing desk days."

"So are you." Wainwright snipped.

Rigsby cleared his throat, at the awkward glare pressed between lion and man. "Should we continue on?"

So, the group continued toward the Emerald City once more.

"It was a perfect plan!" Grace muttered, as she shook her head and stared deeply into her crystal ball. "No matter; I'll just go and take care of him myself."

After they had quickly managed to knock on the door, and they had been let into the Emerald City—Jane was met with the oddest sight of Walter Mashburn driving the horse of many different colors. The man had merely greeted them all with his wide smile, before he quickly asked Jane how Teresa was doing.

"Oh, you know." Jane had replied. "She's busy being the Good Witch and all."

Clearly, Lisbon's infatuation with Mashburn had melted into his dreams as well—which had annoyed him to no end, but eventually Walter dropped them off at the beauty center because they had to look the best for the Wizard.

Moments of agonizing pain later (and a few bows in Wainwright's mane, which made Jane laugh)—the entire crowd within the Emerald City gaped in surprise, as they all glanced up to find that the Wicked Witch of the West had left them all a little present; a giant Red John smiley drawn with the tail of her broom. The entire room burst out into a general frenzy state of panic, as Jane did absolutely nothing but glance toward Wainwright.

"I told you this wasn't my fault."

Wainwright ignored Jane.

The Wizard, Jane knew was a man beyond a curtain, but he couldn't exactly reveal that just yet (though he had the suspicion it was Minelli)—so he allowed the Wizard to cut down all of his companions.

To Rigsby, the Wizard had commented about his scarecrow hunger issues.

To Cho, the Wizard had commented about his tin man rusting issues.

To Wainwright, the Wizard had commented that the lion couldn't lead anything.

But eventually, they all learned that in order to get what they all wanted—which, Jane knew, was him to really leave the Land of Oz—they needed the witches' broomstick named Red John.

"She named her broom after a serial killer?" Jane ranted, after they left the Emerald City. "Who in the world would do that?"

"The Wicked Witch of the West?" Cho offered, and Jane shook his head.

"I bet you it's her sister that my couch killed." Jane responded. "It's logic; you name your broom after a serial killer, and you die for owning said serial killer. Bad karma."

"There's no such thing as karma." Wainwright dissed, as they all entered the darkest forest of Oz. "You're speaking from insanity, Jane."

Jane nodded. "You're probably right." He paused. "I say we just take the shortcut, and get this journey over with." Wainwright glanced at him.

"Shortcut?"

"I'll get kidnapped, and kill the witch." Jane offered brightly, and everybody agreed that the plan seemed very logical. "Then, I'll bring back the broomstick and I'll leave."

Wainwright grinned. "Good."

Oddly enough, it didn't take that long for the shortcut to happen.

One of Grace's flying monkey henchmen kidnapped him, and took him (and Cranberry) to her.