Chapter 25!

Title: "Differences and Desperation"

Disclaimer: I own nothing!!!

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Kakashi sped past the buildings, running faster than was normal during the morning hours in the village, but he didn't care.

He knew exactly what Iruka was going to do…. What he was probably doing by now…

Checking out Kakashi's apartment like a worried mother.

There was no knowing how Iruka would react if he saw that Sakura was there.

Kakashi feared the worst.

Everything was a blur around hin, he tried to keep up the intense pace…. But he was distracted.

"Kakashi-sensei?!"

There weren't a lot of times that Kakashi felt the need to punch something with frustration… but right now he wouldn't mind exercising that urge on Naruto's face.

Kakashi stopped in his tracks… he wished he hadn't, but if he had kept running, it would've been too obvious that he was up to something.

"What is it, Naruto?" He spoke up with an irritated tone, turning around. He faced Naruto, who was wearing a freshly wrinkled, white suit.

I guess Sakura wasn't the only one who stayed out all night…

Kakashi peeked over Naruto's shoulder, he several other kids walking around in their party attire… all of them Kakashi had seen at Shikamaru's house.

Did it turn into a sleep-over?

"What're ya in a hurry about?" Naruto asked with a drowsy curiosity.

"I have some business." Kakashi replied vaguely, his tone very dry.

"Oh...... Ok!" Naruto treated Kakashi's answer like it actually meant something.

Already restless to get moving again, Kakashi was about to turn around until Naruto spoke up with a loud and annoying voice, asking a question that left Kakashi frozen.

"What're you doin' with Sakura's clothes?"

…silence…

Several thoughts ran through Kakashi's mind… many of them were potential lies he could give… none of which left Kakashi completely free from suspicion.

One plan that ran through his mind actually included punching Naruto in the face and runnig off.....

That one was immediately turned down... regretfully.

Only one option remained.

I really shouldn't use this on a kid… especially not on a team member.

He tugged at his forehead protector, letting his left eye look into Naruto's eyes.

"These aren't Sakura's clothes, Naruto… They're just rags..." Kakashi didn't break eye contact with the sleepy-faced Naruto.

".... Oh…. Well, it was cool to seeing you again, Kakashi-sensei!" And with a big grin Naruto stumbled away, down the road, too sleepy to walk straight, or even think straight after being hit with the hypnosis side of the Sharingan.

Kakashi let out a sigh as he pulled down his forehead protector again…

Never again… he promised himself, still feeling a little guilty for using such a technique for personal reasons.

He immediately found his original speed, hoping he wasn't too late.

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I hesitantly reached for the doorknob.

Wait….

Should I really do this?

Iruka still doesn't know for sure that I'm here, but he thinks I'm here…. and he really doesn't have the right idea about what happened last night!

If I don't answer the door, it feels like I'm lying to him…

If I do answer it, I'll just be making more trouble for Kakashi-sensei…

…. Maybe I could explain the entire situation to Iruka before he gets upset….

Would the fact that we didn't… go that far… change anything?

Probably not...

I'm still Kakashi-sensei's student, or at least his young subordinate… and this is still Kakashi's apartment… and I still stayed the night.

But then again... none of the facts matter…

The only thing that matters is what Iruka would think if I open this door….

I pulled my hand away from the doorknob slowly…

… I'd rather lie to Iruka-sensei than cause even greater trouble for Kakashi-sensei…

I felt horrible for being put in this situation.

But everything changed in a second… after I heard the doorknob click, the door released from its jam… my choice didn't even affect anything.

Everything went silent.

He was looking at me, already through the door.

Didn't Kakashi lock the door?!

I held eye contact with Iruka-sensei, he didn't move, he didn't say anything… after a moment he took a step backward with shock.

But he only seemed stunned for a second, his eyes shifted through emotions quickly as they looked into mine.

He went from surprised, to hurt, to upset, to disappointed, then finally stopping at anger.

"He's gone too far this time…" I heard Iruka practically growl under his breath.

I couldn't manage any words that meant anything, nothing that could stop Iruka from thinking those things, until he suddenly started asking questions.

"Where's Kakashi?" His voice sounded rough, he immediately walked past me, making his way down the short hallway to the bedroom door.

"He-he's not here!" I called after him, trying to keep up with him as he slid open the door carelessly.

I was a little bothered by the way he immediately checked the bedroom.

"He's not here?" Iruka turned to me, a little less angry. I nodded, towards the floor.

I couldn't look up at him when he had that angry look, it made me feel like I was a troublemaking 10-year-old again.

"Where is he?" His voice sounded a little calmer, less like he was about to start a fight… but he definitely didn't sound as gentle as usual.

"I don't know…" I lied quietly.

Iruka-sensei looked back to the bedroom.

"He wasn't here when you woke up?" He asked, anger rising in his voice again.

What did he mean by that?!

I knew right away what he had meant.

What exactly did he think about his friend!?

"Of course he was!" I said more than a little defensively. I felt my own frustration growing… shouldn't Iruka-sensei be a bit more understanding?! He knows what kind of people Kakashi and I are!

We might not be perfect, but we're not like that!

"Why did he leave you here?" Iruka spoke up again sounding a little relieved, but a bit angrier at the same time. I didn't listen.

"Why did you think wouldn't he be here when I woke up!?" I asked defiantly.

I knew exactly what Iruka had been trying to say, but I didn't want to let it go… he really had to know that we weren't having the kind of relationship he thought we were!

He went quiet.

He looked down to his feet, he seemed really uncomfortable with th direction of this conversation.

"How can you think about Kakashi-sensei like that?! How could you think about me that way?!" I almost yelled at him.

"Sakura!" His hard voice scared my words away. I flinched a little. "Sakura…" He repeated, fixing his voice. It sounded gentler… but almost pitiful. He took a step towards me. I could only focus my eyes on his vest. It reminded me of Kakashi, but when his hands fell onto my shoulders, it felt completely different. Iruka-sensei's hands were smoother than what I was used to. "I trust you, Sakura…I trust that you would know the proper pace for this… relationship…"

He took a deep sigh after saying that word.

"…. But Kakashi……." He trailed off, his hands twitched uncomfortably on my skin. "… He's a grown man…"

He finished with those words like it was a valid explanation for his suspicions.

"I know that." I said quietly. "But he's still Kakashi…."

It was a good enough reply for me.

He took another deep breath, squeezing my shoulders a little.

"Sakura… " He started talking, using the tone I recognized as the one he'd use for lectures. "…sometimes two people in a relationship can be so different that they end up hurting each other…"

I took a moment to really register those words…

I knew they were true…

but…

I still didn't care.

I wouldn't give Kakashi-sensei up… ever.

"I know we're really different…." I spoke up, trying to look up at Iruka-sensei's face. "I know he's a grown man… I know he's probably used to different kinds of relationships… And that he's used tobeing with grown women...."

"Sakura…" He interrupted me after I said something really embarrassing.

"I know all of that…" I picked up my words, speaking a little louder, clenching my fists to my sides. "…But he would never do anything to hurt me…"

Iruka-sensei looked away from me, towards the bedroom for a second… I saw his eyes land on the rumpled sheets for longer than a second.

"… There are ways he could hurt you without you realizing it." He said solemnly.

What!?

"It's not like that!" I said too loudly, shrugging out from under his hands, backing up against the wall. His eyes found mine immediately. He was definitely confused now. "W-we… didn't…." I mumbled, feeling really childish for not even being able to say it.

After a moment he seemed to understand what I had been trying to say before I trailed off.

"You two didn't….?" Iruka glanced back to the bedroom for a moment, I saw his face flush a little.

"No…" I eased his suspicions, finally.

"Really?" He double-checked.

"We're not like that…." I responded a little vaguely.

He stood in the doorway of the bedroom silently, running his hand through his tied-back hair for a second. A real smile appeared on his face. He started chuckling softly.

"I guess I unnecessarily jumped to conclusions…." He said a little happily.

I could tell just how relieved he was that he didn't have to think of his friend as being some sort of attacker anymore… and probably that he didn't have to report this… situation… to the others.

He seemed to finally understand what kind of relationship we were having.

"I'm really sorry, Sakura…" he spoke up, turning back to me, wearing his usual cheerful grin. Iruka-sensei was really too happy of a person to ever frown for too long. He took a few steps toward me.

His hands found my arms.

I could finally feel the frustration and fear start to leave me. I started to smile too.

"I guess I shouldn't have worried so much…" His arms wrapped around my shoulders kindly.

I always liked Iruka-sensei's hugs, even though they were rare, he was always so gentle.

"I'm sorry if I made you upset earlier…" He apologized.

It all seemed too good… Iruka-sensei accepting our relationship like this…

I expected him to suddenly take it all back and run off to tell everyone, but he didn't…

Something else suddenly ruined this moment of gratitude, though.

"Iruka…" I heard that familiar voice say that name a little edgily. "What are you doing?"

I heard the front door close quietly.

I peeked over Iruka-sensei's arms just as I felt him tilt his body towards the owner of this apartment.

After only a brief second I felt Iruka immediately snatch his arms away from me.

"No… i-it's not… w-we weren't!" Iruka-sensei fumbled over his words nervously, his face flushing a bit again.

I guess he really lost that angry edge he had before… hewas back to his aplogetic-self.

Kakashi-sensei walked into the entryway a bit more.

"I'm pretty sure you wouldn't, Iruka…" Kakashi-sensei spoke up with a cold tone.

Pretty sure?

I looked over to Kakashi-sensei, his eyes were already on me, he seemed a little bothered by something. He looked back to Iruka-sensei, who was definitely having a hard time trying to accept the fact that he had to apologize to a colleague for hugging their mutual student, who was now that colleague's lover. "I just didn't like seeing that." Kakashi finished, sounding a little severe.

Iruka's expression seemed to gain back some sort of bite after Kakashi-sensei said that.

Kakashi walked over to me.

"I was talk-" I was about to explain what had just happened to Kakashi, but he only placed his hand on the side of my face, his thumb landed on my lips.

"We'll talk about it later…" He said with a small, masked smile.

At that Iruka walked up to Kakashi, looking a bit more serious… he probably could have done without Kakashi-sensei's sly remark and display of affection.

I could definitely sense an air of tension between these two… like two brothers who had been fighting recently.

"Kakashi… I understand last night's circumstances… and I won't say anything…" Iruka-sensei opened the front door, about to leave. Kakashi turned to me, his other hand finding my face after he pulled down his mask. "… but if this happens again…." Iruka-sensei warned Kakashi indirectly, starting to close the door behind him.

"Of course…." Kakashi said calmly, not even turning around to face Iruka's back. He only stared at me a little wistfully and accepted Iruka-sensei's threat like he deserved it.

The door closed, shutting out the morning light.

Kakashi and I stood still in the dark entryway.

His hands only brushed along my face.

"Kakash-"

His lips interrupted mine.

His lips were moving faster than normal, pressing harder than I was used to.

He was leaning against me closer than usual.

I could hear him take a deep breath, like he wasn't planning on getting any more air for a while.

I wanted to talk to him, but his hands around my face didn't let me break away.

He started walking forward a little, forcing me to back up against the wall.

Both of his hands slid back through my hair, clutching the back of my head, pulling my face closer to his.

He really wasn't usually this forceful… but, it didn't feel bad.

I slowly lost my desire to talk… I just wanted to kiss him back harder, too.

I lifted my hands to his silver hair, tugging at the knot of his forehead protector, which would get in the way sometimes.

He let me undo the knot, too busy curling his fingertips through my hair to help me.

As the metal-plated fabric loosened I pulled it away from his face, dropping it onto the floor with a thudded clank.

As it hit the ground, he suddenly deepened the kiss even more.

His tongue brushed past my lips a little forcefully.

I still wasn't used to this type of kiss… but he seemed to really want it.

His hands suddenly slid down from the back of my head, pressing hard all the way down my back.

His hands stopped at the small of my back, pulling me against him tightly.

His tongue rubbed against mine.

My legs felt a little shaky.

He really never used to kiss me like this.

Something was different.

I ran out of air before he did.

I broke away with a shaky gasp.

I leaned against the wall, trying to keep my balance while breathing so hard.

Kakashi-sensei's lips didn't stop… he still wanted more.

He started kissing down my neck… I could tell by now that he really liked to do that, but he seemed more enthusiastic now. His lips kissed my skin faster, but moved around slower, like he was savoring it.

My breathing wasn't going to get any more even if he kept doing that.

"Isn't this a little…. Much?" I managed to say those words even though my neck tickled when I spoke as he was kissing it that deeply. My hands rested on the back of his head.

He didn't seem to pay attention.

"….Kakashi-sensei…" I spoke up.

His lips suddenly stopped.

I immediately felt like air could get to my lungs easier.

He suddenly stood up straight, his hands grazed upwards to my shoulder blades, holding me a little less tightly.

"I'm sorry, Sakura…" He sounded only slightly breathless. "I was a little desperate…"

"What?" I was a little taken aback.

Kakashi-sensei? Desperate?

"As I was at your house… I heard that Iruka had asked where you were… I knew that he'd get here as soon as he could…. I was so sure that he was going to…." He trailed off for a second. His hands rubbing along my back. I looked up at him. "I was scared that this was going to be it…" He explained further.

He said 'it' like he was so sure that there was always going to be a set date when we would have to leave each other… and 'it' was going to happen today…

"Kakashi…" I pulled myself closer to him, feeling a little strange for feeling so happy that he would actually be that scared about losing me. I felt that same fear of losing him, too.

"But you took care of it…" He looked down at me, smiling proudly.

It almost felt like when he used to praise me after missions… I suddenly felt proud of myself.

I actually did something for him….

I took away some of his fear.

I made him proud.

I couldn't control a dumb smile, or how light my heart felt… until it suddenly crashed back down when I saw my clothes lumped on the floor next to the door.

I didn't care about my clothes, but it reminded me of the fact that my parents were probably getting angrier and angrier with every passing minute.

"My parents…" I brought it up a little painfully. "I should get changed…"

He let go of me hesitantly as I knelt over to the pile, still feeling weak-legged.

"Actually, I've got the perfect alibi for you…." I looked up at him, he was leaning one shoulder against the wall, smiling at me reassuringly.

The way he said 'alibi' really made me feel like a delinquent.

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He watched as she ran down the stairs, careful not to trip on her heels.

He loved the way that dress looked on her, he way it practically floated around her body.

It was hard to look away.

He held the clothes he had picked up for her in his hands.

Hopefully her parents were going to believe that Sakura had been at Shikamaru's house all night, like the rest of her group… but that alibi meant that it was counter-productive to have her change into normal clothes.

He would have to drop them off at her house later that night.

He smiled at the idea of that perfect chance to see her again.

He wandered away from the door, rubbing the back of his head tiredly.

So much drama for the morning…

His life had become so much more complicated since all this started…. But he wouldn't have it any other way.

He aimlessly went back into his bedroom, sat on the edge of the bed… slowly lowering himself to lie down again.

He didn't feel like sleeping, but he just loved the fact he could still smell her sweet scent on those blankets.

He thought back to the moments before she left, when he had let his desperation show a little too much.

He had acted a little selfishly… he knew she was getting weak at the knees, and was probably starving for air, and that she really felt clueless when he was kissing her like that… but whenever he kissed her, it was getting harder to keep control over how much he wanted to touch her.

But there was always something she said that stopped him from going too far.

Her voice was so breathless when she said it this time, 'Kakashi-sensei'…

He had hoped that she would've outgrown calling him 'sensei' fter they started this kind of relationship… but after all these years… it must really be an unstoppable habit for her.

Every time she called him 'sensei' he would always come crashing down to his senses…

Because every time she said it, he would think about that little 12-year-old girl who he had first met 4 years ago.

He would see her innocent, smiling face…

And when she says it with that bothered, breathless voice he always felt so guilty for being the one who was going take that innocence away from her.

He let go of a deep sigh… trying not to think about those things.

…

He was already looking forward to seeing her again tonight…. That is, until he heard somebody knocking on his door.

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I checked the time again, having only read a single paragraph since the last time I check.

When is he going to get here?…

Today was like a repeat of yesterday at this point.

Me wandering around my room, reading, sleeping, checking Warble every other second.

But this time, it was because I was grounded for staying out all night.

Mom and Dad didn't seem too hung up on where I was all night, but just the fact that I was gone all night.

And even though I was only grounded for a day (since it's nearly impossible to ground a ninja who needs to be called on missions every other day for weeks at a time), it was still torture…. Waiting and wondering.

It was already getting a dark outside.

Didn't he say he'd drop by with my clothes at night…

I had suggested that he come by sooner, but his whole broad-daylight-argument won over my suggestion.

I rolled over in bed, trying to focus on what I was reading, but I had already forgotten the main character's name.

I sighed to myself loudly, letting the open book lay over my face, feeling so restless.

Tap, tap

My attention was immediately stolen to my balcony window.

I lifted the book from my face… but no one was there.

I shuffled out of bed to get a better look.

No one was on the balcony… only a few folded pieces of clothes… my clothes.

I opened the door hurriedly, trying to see if I could catch him before he was too far away.

The cold night wind hit me hard.

My heart felt even colder when I saw that no one was anywhere around.

Why did he leave like that?!

I didn't even get to see him…

I sighed sadly to myself as I picked up the clothes and walked back inside.

I tossed them onto the bed… I was about ready to go pick out another book from my bookcase until I saw the little piece of paper in between the fabric of my shirt and skirt fall onto my bedspread.

I immediately pounced on it.

I unfolded it quickly, but tried not to rip it.

'8:00… Meet Me.'

I whipped my head towards Warble, about ready to throw him against the wall if he showed any time sooner than 7:30…

'7:32'

Close one, Warble…

I laughed at myself a little… I was so restless, so ready to see him again, and here was a note from him, setting up a time to meet him at our sanctuary.... and the man I was so restless to see was Kakashi-sensei..... it was so unbelievable that my life had changed into something like this.

But I didn't stay on that thought for long as I went to my closet, grabbed my boots and decided to leave early, his note held tight in my hand.

I wondered why he didn't spare any time to tell me himself.

Or why we couldn't have met sooner, or later than 8:00…

Something must be happening…

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