Long lost & gone

Chapter 11

"Wh... whaa...what.. happened?" her voice broke so many times.

Elena moved towards her slowly "He's dead, he was killed."

The witch's head snapped up, rage in her eyes, preparing herself for a battle.

"Who? Who killed him?" she could hear the bloodlust in Bonnie's voice but it didn't make her back off. She had something way more valuable to protect, her love, her soul, her heart. He had took them all with him and it made her want to protect it even more.

" I did."

Bonnie's eyes softened and became full of questions "What do you mean?"

Elena couldn't hold back the tears any longer, her brother was dead and he wasn't going to come back "I mean it's my fault he's dead." her voice broke and she collapsed to the ground next to Bonnie, crying over her brothers body, it was her fault, it was her fault Damon was here, it was her fault she fell in love all those years ago, it was her fault that she couldn't give that love up, it was her fault that her brother still tried to protect her.

Bonnie took her shoulders and shook her "This is not your fault, whatever happened it is not your fault, you would never hurt your brother, just tell me what happened so we can sort this out." her voice was heavy and her breathing was uneven, she was still crying, still in shock but she was holding herself together better than the girl in the towel next to her.

Elena knew she had to tell the story, the story she came up with "There was a vampire, he was here for me and Jeremy was here too, he tried to protect me but he ended up getting himself killed." even though it was close to the truth she still felt bad for lieing, Bonnie deserved to know how her lover had died, just like she had deserved to know how Damon had died but it hand't kept the witch from lieing, they were even now.

Bonnie was gasping for air, her arms were wrapped around her chest "H..ow... did.. he ..g...et.. in?"her voice wasn't steady and Elena was worried that she was having a panick attack.

"I don't live here officially so there are no human residents." she tried to calm herself down but seeing her brother lying next to her, pale, his shirt bloody, his mouth hanging open and his body stiff, it made the tears and the ache come back every time.

Bonnie was talking to herself "Why did he stop wearing that stupid ring? He thought when the fight was over and all the evil vampires were dead or gone he wouldn't need it anymore, I kept telling him he should wear it but he always said it was to heavy for his taste."

Elena started tearing harder, he wouldn't have been dead if he still wore the ring, Damon was a vampire, he was staked by a vampire, he would have come back to life, why didn't he wear the stupid ring?

Elena didn't say anything, she didn't find the words, there were no words in a situation like this.

"What should we do?" Bonnie's voice snapped her out of her trance.

"I don't know, it's to late to call an ambulance, a doctor doesn't matter, I don't know what to do." she was helpless, they both were, they were two girls, two girls that were twenty-three years old, they didn't know how to handle this situation, they shouldn't be in this situation.

Bonnie was still caressing Jeremy's face like she thought it would wake him up, that this was just a sunday morning in bed and he would open his eyes any second "Maybe you should get yourself cleaned up, I can't stand the blood on you, I'll call Alaric maybe he knows what to do." she never turned her gaze away from the dead body on the floor while she spoke, her voice was soft and full of sorrow.

Elena stood up "Bonnie, I'm so sorry I never meant for this to happen. It all happened so fast, I couldn't save him, I couldn't stop him, I'm so sorry."

Bonnie tore her eyes away from her brothers dead body to stare at her "It's okay Lena, it isn't your fault, if that vampire is still in Mystic Falls, we'll find him and we'll kill him."

"When I heard that my sister and brother-in-law had died, I couldn't believe that I had to take care of two kids, I couldn't believe that a college student like me that was still drunk every night and out partying, that that person would have to be an example to these two teenagers that had just lost their parents in a tragic car accident, I thought that I would only mess them up and that it would be a pain in the ass for me. But the longer I stayed with them the more I cared about them, the more I came to see them as my family. I wasn't the only one that needed to be an example, they were an example to me, Jeremy was. Not because he taught me how to play the sims on the computer or because he learned me how to play videogames, more for his own benefit than mine but because he learned me how it was like to be a family, he accepted me, me and my crazy behaviour, he showed me that taking care of someone wasn't just cleaning up after them or helping them with their papers or teaching them how to drive, he showed me that taking care of someone was just loving them, protecting them. I tried to protect my family but I failed, I lost my favorite nephew because I wasn't able to protect him and I'm sorry for that, I'm sorry that I wasn't able to protect you Jer. I'm so sorry and I'll miss you so much, I promise I will try to do a better job, I hope you just give me a hand from up there. I love Jeremy, I hope you found your peace." Jenna's face was full of tears and she couldn't hold herself together anymore, Alaric had to drag her away from the coffin to take her back to her seat next to Elena.

The ceremony was coming to an end, they had all said their goodbye to Jeremy and roses were given to the people on the graveyard. The coffin started to lower and they threw the roses on the coffin that dissapeard in the hole in the ground.

Nobody had been able to keep their eyes dry and the sounds of crying and sniffing had been there during the whole funeral. Elena and Jenna were the worst, they had been crying during the whole thing without stopping for a second. Bonnie tried to keep herself strong and not to show any emotions but there were small tears rolling over her cheek, she still wasn't over the shock, she didn't realise that Jeremy was gone, that the love of her life was gone, but she would soon enough. Alaric held Jenna's hand during the whole ceremony and even helped her to stand up during her farewell speech. Elena had been strong enough to do it on her own even though her hand was held during the whole ceremony it didn't bring her any comfort, she had lost the two people she loved the most in the world in one day. One of them was still out there but it felt like he had died all over again, she couldn't touch him, couldn't see him, couldn't love him.

She let go of Stefan's hand to stand up, he had come back early when he'd heard of Jeremy's death, he tried to support her trough the whole mourning process, holding her, comforting her, hugging her but the truth was that he only made it worse. She didn't want to be in his arms, she didn't want to be comforted by him, she didn't want to be loved by him.

"We still have to arrange a few things with the minister, after that we're going back to our house, we would like it if you joins us all there for coffee or a cup of tea." Alaric spoke to the crowd and he tried to keep his tone light but she could see it was killing him too, he had become like their stepfather and he had come to love them like his own family, losing Jeremy was as hard on him as it was on her and Jenna.

Elena wanted to get out of here, she wanted to run from all of this, from all of them. She looked at the trees surrounding the graveyard and found her way out. There was a man leaning against one of the trees, his eyes boring into hers like he could see right into her soul, his arms wide open for her to run in, her body trembling to do it.

"You coming?" Stefan's voice made her turn away from the ocean blue eyes.

She didn't want to go with him, she had found her way out even if it was only for five minutes, she needed those five minutes "I'll go with Alaric and Jenna talk to the minister, they don't need to do this alone, they've been trough enough." she looked at the ground ashamed that she used her brothers death as an excuse.

Stefan cupped her face in his hands "So have you but I understand, I'll wait for you in the car."

She nodded, he pulled away and made his way to his car on the other side of the graveyard. She was out of sight and left alone next to her brothers coffin.

Turning around she saw that she hadn't imagened the man against the tree, he was still there, his arms were still open and this time she couldn't look away from him, she dropped her purse and ran to him as fast as she could, his eyes didn't leave hers and she kept staring at them, seeing them coming closer every time she moved her feet, she felt his body coming closer with every step and she felt the ache in her chest decrease with every step, he didn't meet her in the middle, he kept his place and kept his arms open for her. She felt like she had run a marathon when she finally clashed against his chest and strong arms were wrapped around her, holding her up and comforting her like she should have been comforted the past two days. She clung to his shoulders and burried her face in his neck, tears running down her face. She held onto him like he was her lifeline because he was, he was her everything, her heart, her soul, her mind, her body, her love, he was her.

He placed kisses on the side of her face and rubbed her back, rocking her in his hold. The tears faded and she pulled her head up, locking her eyes with his and cupping his face in her hands.

"I told you to leave." she rubbed his cheek with her tumb and felt him pressing his face into the palm of her hand.

"And since when do I what I'm told?" his voice was soft, his usual arrogance was missing.

"But this is in your own benefit so maybe you should listen for once." her voice sounded teasing but she was glad he was here, that she had one last time to touch him, to kiss him, to hold him, she was glad he never did what he was told.

He pulled his head out of her palm and his expression became angry, frustrated "Leaving you is not in my benefit Elena."

"But you have to, if you stay here Bonnie will find you and kill you, you have to get out of town, out of state, out of the country, you have to get as far away from here as possible." she couldn't believe she was telling him this, she wanted him as close as possible, she wanted him closer than he was now, she wanted him under her, next to her, inside her, always.

"Than come with me and I will leave, I'll leave this town, this state, this country, I'll leave this planet just come with me."his eyes were boring into hers and he was begging her, she had never seen him beg maybe because he never had to, he alway got what he wanted even with her, he never had to beg her and she knew why, nobody could resist him, he was a force that came into her life to make her feel everything, to let her experience everything, he was a force that had destroyed her and fixed her, he was the force that made her so selfless that it would hurt her for the rest of her existence and she didn't care because without it her life was meaningless, it had no goal or no direction. He was the force that made her do this, he was the force that gave her the strength to do this.

"Damon stop it, I can't. If I leave they will put two and two together, they'll figure it out. Nobody knows you were here they think you are sipping on a cocktail in Casablanca. If Bonnie finds out you were here, she'll track you down and kill you before I even get the chance to talk her out of it. Even if she doesn't find you every witch that knows her or her family will try to kill you. You know what happened with her grandmother, she knew about you even if Emily died years before she was born, she still wanted to kill you because of what you did to her ancestors."she tried to keep herself together but she was glad that he was still holding her because her knees were shaking and her feet couldn't move to find support against a tree, she was still cupping his face trying to keep her eyes at his height.

He shook his head " I don't care, We'll never stay at the same place, we'll move every minute of the day if that means we can stay together." he sounded tortured, he was pleading, for once in his life he needed someone and that someone was telling him to leave, to leave on his own and live for the rest of his life away from her.

She didn't want to argue, any minute somebody could come looking for her and find them all wrapped up in each other "Damon, leave."

He pulled his arms from her back and cupped her face just the way she was holding his "No, I came here because I need to tell you something."

She sighed, he was making up excuses to stay, to keep her here but she couldn't resist him, she had never been able to "What's that Damon?"

She saw the sadness in his face dissapeared only to be replaced by something she had never seen in his eyes before.

"I love you Elena." his eyes were full of love, they were radiating it on her, they were consuming her with it.

All she could do was press her lip against his, she had waited five years for those words, he had never said them to her. She knew he loved her, she knew that he would have given his life for her without a second thought, she knew she would do the same and yet those three words made it seem all so more real, they made them more real. He pulled his hands from her face to grab her waist and pull her flush against him, she moved her hands from his face to his hair to hold him captive in their kiss. He lifted her up and slammed her back against the tree he had been leaning on, she removed his jacket while he held her up and started unbuttoning his shirt when they heard someone call her name.

She pulled her lips away from his demanding mouth and he put her down, his forehead resting against hers "Come with me."

She shook her head against his "I can't, it's not safe."

"Okay" he paused and cupped her face again "Then I'll come back for you."

"No, you won't know when it's safe." she struggled with herself, knowing that maybe she was never going to be able to do this "I'll find you."

He shook his head fiercely "You won't know where I am, you won't find me."

She grabbed the hands that were resting on her cheeks and squeezed them in her own "I'll find you, I found you in Georgia. When the time is right I'll find you, it can take forever but I'll find my way back to you, I always do."

Her name was called again and they could both hear the voice was getting closer.

"I have forever Elena, I can wait forever. Just promise me, promise me you'll find me." his voice sounded hopeful and she couldn't miss the small smile that appeared on his lips, it made him even more beautiful.

She started to pull away when the voice called her name again, she let go of his hands and pulled them from her face, she gave him one last quick kiss and looked in his eyes before turning around and making her way back to the graveyard.

"Promise me." his voice was demanding but she could Stefan walking towards her, she wanted to go back, her whole body screamed to go back behind the trees, back to the man that was begging her to come with him.

Stefan was approaching her and would reach her in no time, she allowed herself one last look over her shoulder to see tears in his eyes, it made her tear up all over again.

Stefan reached her and handed her the purse she had thrown in the grass "Everything okay?" his voice was soft, comforting, ignorant.

"Yea, I just needed some air." she felt his arm wrap around her when he lead her back to his car. She didn't need to look around to know he was still there in the shadows, she felt his eyes on her and her body still felt his presence, she looked at the grass while Stefan pulled her forward "I promise." the words weren't more than a whisper but she knew he would hear. Stefan looked at her but didn't comment.

She looked up to see a crow cross the sky above them, flying straight into the horizon.