A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in a few days. The title comes from a review from The Color Clear (I thought it fit perfectly). Thanks again for all your support! :]
It's a MattxMello centered chapter and not a pleasant one (surprised?). But enjoy!
Chapter Rated M.

Mello awoke with a start. His lover's sweaty body trembled against his own; whimpers escaped the boy's lips. Mello immediately cradled Matt's quivering figure and caressed his sticky neck. With a gasp, Matt's eyes snapped open. Every night, he endured torturous nightmares about his inescapable prison. And every night, Mello would rescue him again by bringing him back to reality. Matt shoved his lips against Mello's, ignoring his shaking fingers. He'd grown used to the uncontrollable tremors that surged through his body at random.

"Matt," Mello muttered, nipping his bottom lip. "You aw'right?"

"You don't gotta ask me that every night," Matt chuckled.

He caressed Mello's fantastic scar, immediately causing Mello to recoil. Mello's reaction to his scars attention varied exceedingly. Sometimes, he shoved his mouth against Matt's, leading them into a frenzy of hot, sweaty love. Other times, he would bat Matt's hand away and immediately grow frustrated. The worst, though, was when he recoiled; it reminded Matt how that one scar tore at Mello's pride and hindered their relationship. Even after the turmoil Matt suffered, Mello still selfishly obsessed over his own appearance. But...that was Mello, and Matt loved him.

Mello's lips lingered next to Matt's. His hot breath tickled Matt's upper lip. Their desires for one another became apparent, as they did most nights. Suddenly, Mello tugged at Matt's shirt, pulling it from his body. His teeth nipped at Matt's flesh and dragged down his torso. Apparently, Mello wanted pure passion and physical lust tonight. Matt was happy to oblige. The two tangled together, their fingers intertwined. Mello's tongue ran across Matt's pants line, causing the boy to shudder in anticipation.

As he began to yank Matt's pants off with his teeth, Matt panted heavily. Mello's eyes gleamed with desire. His lips cupped Matt's head; his tongue flicked across the tip. Matt moaned, clutching a chunk of Mello's hair. His entire body tensed; the pleasure was almost unbearable. Normally, Mello teased him, but not tonight. Something was on Mello's mind, and Matt couldn't wait to discover what.

Suddenly, Mello glanced up at Matt. He stood up, leaving his lover panting, sweating, naked. With one swift motion, he pulled off his own shirt and grabbed Matt's hand. He pulled his lover up and led him to the vanity near by. Then, he did the oddest thing. Mello bent over the surface, wrapping Matt's arms around his waist. Matt's bare torso brushed against Mello's back. Mello was presenting himself to Matt, waiting for him. Matt hesitated, unsure how to approach the situation.

"This one time," Mello purred, although he sounded like he was begging.

It was too strange. Something was wrong. Matt took a step back, puzzled. "Mello," he murmured. "Why?"

"I want to try it," Mello promised.

He was lying, Matt sensed it. Mello didn't want to try it. In fact, Mello's expression read that he didn't need to try it, he just wanted it desperately. How could he want something so terribly if he never experimented before? Matt shrugged, suddenly overcome with desire. Without another word, he shoved his body against Mello and thrust into his lover. Mello grunted and as Matt's hips rhythmically moved, Mello's fingernails dug into the wooden vanity. The position switch was strange, at first, but Matt immediately got into it. Watching Mello's face squirm from pleasure in the mirror only made him pound harder.

"Ugh," Mello grunted. "Harder, c'mon."

Matt obeyed.

"Harder!"

Harder. Faster. Sweat poured down Matt's forehead. Mello's hot breath fogged the glass in front of him as he squeezed his eyes shut, panting.

"Oh, fuck, Beyond!" Mello groaned.

He immediately stumbled backwards, shocked by the words that came from his lovers mouth. For a moment, confusion and terror struck at his already fragile mind. But, when reality set in, Matt felt his heart breaking apart. Mello through his hands over his mouth, turning to face Matt. Horror loomed in his expression.

"Ma-Matt, I didn't mean that."

Matt stood up. The tremors violently tugged at his body. Everything crashed around him. His ears rang. His eyes stung. His legs were numb.

"Beyond?" Matt repeated.

"Matt," Mello whispered, attempting to comfort his lover. He reached out, brushing his fingers against Matt's. Before Matt could stop himself, he retracted his body from Mello's reach, pulled on his pants and fled the room. Mello collapsed on the floor, running his fingers anxiously through his hair. What had he done?

The next evening, the four feared outlaws sat around the table, eating their dinner in complete silence. Normally, they ate separately. In fact, they saw little of each other. Beyond's house was large enough so they could conceal themselves and avoid any contact if undesired. Tonight, however, they would begin their journey up north to take down the Yotsuba group. Higuchi had once been part of the gang, but he was exiled when his drinking habits defected him. For the past month, Light focused his constant attention on the Yotsuba group. There were only seven of them, but their chaotic behavior exceeded beyond many other gangs.

It would be difficult, but Light was up for the challenge. Anything to avoid another easy judgment of bandits around the area. They always left so much evidence behind and Light began to grow weary from boredom.

As Beyond spread jam across his meat, Matt suddenly blurted, "that's disgustin'." Beyond merely raised his gaze for a moment, then turned his attention back to his task. Suddenly, Mello flushed and found something interesting on his fingernail.

Matt narrowed his eyes, shifting his gaze to Mello. Before Matt arrived, the tension was awful, since Mello was constantly at Light's throat and Light barely regarded Mello as his partner. But when Matt came, Mello's attention turned to his lover and he and Light rarely fought anymore. The trauma Matt endured seemed to bring the two closer than Light previously observed, but he couldn't help but noticing the awkward tension that radiated from them tonight. It echoed across the room. Beyond, somehow, seemed to be involved. Matt kept glowering at him as if he were to kill him if Beyond made a wrong move. Light figured it was because of the strings running from Beyond's fingers to Mello's body. Maybe Matt just noticed.

"Relax," Mello suddenly said. Matt only scoffed.

Beyond suddenly chuckled. "Now, Mello."

Mello's lips pursed and he slumped farther into his chair. The sudden silence hung heavily around the four. Light decided he wanted nothing more to do with the strange tension. The drama between the three had nothing to do with him. These moments always occurred when the four united, except when they were performing their mission. Even then, Light rarely had anything to do with them. Beyond's connections and their teamwork was the only reason Light didn't kill them. Mello and Beyond both deserved to die; Light had decided that a long time ago. But, he needed them for the broader purpose.

Light stood up and carried his dish to the wash bin. He dropped it in the water and headed to his room.

"I think Light's got the right idea," Matt muttered, void of his normal joking manner. "I'm gonna go upstairs."

"Wait," Mello demanded, pulling out his desert chocolate from his breast pocket.

Even through his rage, Matt obeyed his lover. He couldn't help himself. He decided to give Mello the benefit of the doubt; sometimes people slip. Matt grabbed a cigarette from behind his ear. He lit it and the two sat in silence, indulging in their addictions. The smoke from Matt's cigarette clouded up his goggles, creating a foggy, surreal scene in front of him. Beyond spread jam on his hunk of meat and glanced up, his gaze suddenly connecting with Mello's. Mello's cheeks flushed and he immediately broke the contact.

Mello's subordination troubled Matt. Normally, Mello's inferiority complex made it so he took no one's shit. Yet, his superiority quivered in Beyond's presence. That and last night's incident fed Matt's suspicions. He decided instead of allowing his loyalty to continue to falter under possibly false suspicions, he would ask Mello. Although the fear of discovering that his suspicions were true seeped in. If Mello and Beyond...Matt's head suddenly spun.

"Mello, did you and Beyond have sex?"

Matt decided to bring it up in front of Beyond so he could read both their expressions. He knew that Beyond wouldn't be much help, but his presence would add a certain advantage for Matt. No matter how disgusting Beyond was, he had no reason to lie.

Mello's eyes widened and, when he realized his expression, he relaxed. "No," he promised.

"Beyond, did you and Mello have sex?" Matt turned to Beyond, keeping an eye on Matt's expression. Obviously the question directed towards Beyond frightened Mello. He knew Beyond had nothing to lie, just as Matt knew.

"Yes," Beyond answered simply, stuffing a piece of meat into his mouth. "Why?"

Mello shot out of his seat, picked up his plate and threw it against the wall. With that, he left the room. Matt and Beyond sat in silence; Beyond chomped on the meat. His suspicions were confirmed. He sank into his chair, then stood up. He was sick of Mello walking on him. He stormed up the stairs, courage and anger building up in his chest. His body trembled.

Before Matt even stepped into the room, Mello was already throwing excuses around.

"Stop," Matt demanded. "I'm sick of you."

Matt's normally passive nature dissolved as the overwhelming urge to punch Mello in the jaw pounded at his core. Normally, his testosterone never bothered him. Normally, he controlled himself. Even after being beaten every day for eight months, he managed to grip onto who he was. Suddenly, before he could stop himself, his knuckles collided with Mello's chin. The boy fell into a pathetic heap on the floor. His power dissolved away. He was nothing more than a crumpled mass of skin to Matt. He couldn't love someone so pathetic.

"I'm goin' to leave you," Matt spoke, trying desperately to soothe the agonizing pain in his chest. "Just as you left me. But, I ain't gonna come back for you."

Mello tried to protest, as Matt began to leave. Suddenly, every piece of anger Matt felt towards Mello molded together. He turned on his heel, facing Mello again.

"No, I ain't done with tellin' you off," Matt decided. "You had everythin' in the world less than a year ago. Money, power, love. You threw it all away because of a grudge. You left me behind to be beaten half to death, you lost your rank as a gang leader, and you let some fucked up, cold asshole touch you. For what? Your looks? Your pride? What don't you get? The world don't revolve 'round you, Mello. No one cares how you look, especially not me. You were so self-indulged that you lost everything. Do you remember what you had, or who you were? Remember how strong you used to be?

"No, now that I think of it, you were never strong; you used a facade. Get over it, Mello, you're a fag. And now, your Beyond Birthday's fag. I don't want you anymore, you disgusting whore. Hell, I like Light more than you, and he held a gun up to my head. I don't forgive you, Mello. I ain't ever gonna forgive you."

With that, Matt left the dumbfounded Mello. Mello had never heard such criticism, especially not from someone who claimed to care for him so much. He buried his face into the wooden floor below him. As much as he wanted to refute Matt's statement, he knew it was true. What happened to him?