A/N- Just came from my nieces Birthday party. She loves that her birthday is on Halloween, so her parties are always themed. This is the second year in a row she's had a Glee themed party, and it was so damn awesome. I went as Sunshine. So, I'm back from that and feeling in the Glee spirit, so here's an update! As always, thanks for the reviews, and the feedback, and please keep it coming. Love you all.
Shelby Cocoran was confused, and not one person in the world could blame her. As far as she knew, Rachel Berry, and Quinn Fabray did not get along. However, after getting out of a cab to meet her daughter for dinner, the very first thing she saw was Rachel and Quinn making out. At first she couldn't even say anything, all she could do was make a small noise to alert the two girls to her presence. Once they saw her there, Shelby was slightly relieved to see that they were just as nervous as she was about the whole situation. After Rachel had frantically uttered the words Hi Mom, there was a silence so uncomfortable, even a deaf mute, would have felt awkward.
"Uh...h-hi girls", mumbled the woman.
"Hello", said Quinn, with a nervous smile on her face.
"Quinn...I didn't realize you'd be here. Nice to see you."
"You too", said Quinn, as she looked over to her girlfriend. It was obvious that she still had no idea what to say, so the blond decided to take control."Well, I'm getting kinda' cold standing here, maybe we should go inside and sit down."
"Yes, that's...a good idea", answered Shelby.
Once inside, and seated, Rachel still hadn't said a word. She just went on avoiding eye contact with her mother, and playing with her straw paper. Shelby on the other hand, couldn't take her eyes away from Rachel. She couldn't help but notice how much she had changed. Not just her wardrobe, or how she carried herself. Shelby, estranged as she was, could see a change in Rachel that sometimes only a mother could see in their own child.
"So, Shelby, what brings you here", asked Quinn, taking a sip of her hot chocolate.
"I'm visiting some friends of mine. What about you?"
"I'm studying Photography at NYU."
"I see, well that sounds interesting, actually I have a cousin who-".
"Oh my God, can we just get this over with, please", asked Rachel, angrily."Yes, Quinn is my girlfriend, so pretending like you didn't see us kissing outside isn't an option. Now, what exactly is it that you wanted to see me about?"
"Rachel, calm down...", mumbled Quinn.
"No, I will not calm down! What the Hell do you want", she snapped, angrily, some tears forming in her eyes.
"I just...wanted to see you, I wanted to know how you're doing", defended Shelby.
"Do you really expect me to believe that? You have a new daughter to do that for. Although, now that you know Quinn's here, maybe you could abandon her too, and give her back to her real mother!"
"This...was...a mistake", Shelby choked out, and she got up and hurried out of the diner. Quinn stood up.
"You...stay right where you are", she said to Rachel, angrily, before following the woman outside. By the time she got outside, Shelby was walking down the street. She had to jog, but the younger girl caught up with her.
"Shelby, wait...", she said, out of breath. Shelby stopped her angry treading, and looked at her.
"Is that what you think too", she asked through her tears."That I'm a huge bitch for leaving Rachel, and taking Beth from you?"
"No, no...listen. I know how weird this is for you, trust me I get it. It's weird for me, and I'm her girlfriend."
"Who was that girl in there, because it's not the Rachel I remember...".
"Yeah, there have been a few changes. Please, come back and sit down. She didn't mean those things, I promise you", said Quinn, putting her hand on Shelby's shoulder.
"Why is she so...angry?"
"Things happened...".
"Bad things?"
"It's really not my place, I'm sure she'll tell you if she feels like she should."
"Oh, yes...of cores...".
"Come back inside, please?"
"I will, but tell me something, and please be honest with me, Quinn."
She just nodded.
"Do you have any angry feelings towards me for taking Beth?"
Quinn wasn't bothered by what Shelby had asked. There were a few times after giving Beth up that she regretted it, and wanted her back more than anything. It was something she never wanted to admit to anyone, because she knew that once it was out in the open, it would change things. How, she wasn't sure, but she knew it would just turn everything upside down. After what she'd gone through with her parents, and Finn Hudson, and Lima, she knew leaving and starting over was the right choice.
"You didn't take her from me, you adopted her. I'm not mad at you for that, you helped me. I wasn't ready to be a mother, and I know that now, more than ever. And, I'm sure if you asked Noah Puckerman, he might tell you the same thing. He's loving that he got to leave Lima, and start over."
"Where did he go?"
"He's here. Actually, he's one of Rachel's roommates", laughed Quinn.
"Oh God, speaking of Rachel, we should probably head back inside now", said Shelby, moving towards the diner.
When the two of them got back inside, Rachel was frantically texting on her phone.
"What are you doing, sweetie", asked Quinn, as she sat down.
"Jade won't answer me, I've texted her like eight times. I think we need to go see what's wrong."
"No. Relax, she's with Brittany and by now, Santana is out of class, and is probably with her too. You agreed to come here, so you're staying here", said Quinn, as if she had the final say. Rachel gave her a protestant little look, but she didn't move.
"Rachel...I'm sorry for not...being who you wanted me to be towards you. I know you probably don't believe that, but it's the truth", said Shelby, looking down.
"If that's the case, why was it so easy for you to tell me you didn't want me in your life, pat me on the shoulder, and walk away from me", asked Rachel, bitterly.
"You think that was easy for me?"
"It seemed like it, yes."
"Oh God, no that was one of the hardest things I ever had to do", said Shelby, desperately."Why do you think I sang with you that day, why do you think I asked you for a hug goodbye?"
"You should have hugged me again!"
As soon as that came flying out of Rachel's mouth, other people in the diner, started looking in that direction. Quinn grabbed Rachel's hand underneath the table, and gave her a comforting squeeze, in hopes it would calm her down a little.
"What", asked Shelby.
"I needed you...and I was gonna' tell you that, I wanted to tell you that so bad! I was five seconds away from begging you not to let me go! But you didn't hug me again...you just...left", Rachel cried, sounding so defeated."...and every single time I saw you or talked to you after that day...just...hurt. It fucking hurt."
"You should have told me", mumbled Shelby.
"Are you kidding me", cried Rachel.
"No, you should have told me, because I was praying you would come after me. I never wanted to walk away from you Rachel, I just got scared. I didn't think you needed me, and I was too afraid to admit that I, a grown woman, needed you. I was afraid of that the minute you confronted me, and told me that you knew I was your mother, and after I talked to Will, my fear seemed more relevant to the situation than ever."
"Wait a minute, Will as in Mr. Shuster", asked Quinn.
"Yes. He told me that if I really loved you...I'd be honest with you. He wasn't completely wrong, but he wasn't right either. I just happened to talk to him at a time when I was feeling really overwhelmed about the whole thing. It shouldn't have taken me this long to figure it all out, I know that, and I feel so horrible, but...sometimes when I'm looking at Beth, and thinking about her future...I can't help but think that having a big sister to give her advice about things would be nice."
Quinn glanced over at her girlfriend, and was relieved when she saw that she was actually listening to what Shelby was saying.
"Rachel, if you can't forgive me, I will respect that. It's true, I acted like I didn't need you, but if I didn't need you, it wouldn't have been so hard getting you out of my head. I care about you, and I always will. Regardless of what you decide...I will always be here for you when you if you need me. I know I told you that I'm your mother, and not your mom...but I want to be both. I'm ready to be both", said Shelby, tears rolling down her face.
By the time the woman was done talking, both Rachel and Quinn had tears rolling down their faces. Rachel couldn't even believe her own feeling at the moment. For the first time in a long time, she was actually happy to see Shelby sitting in front of her.
"I...f-forgive you", the tiny girl sobbed.
Shelby smiled, and released a breath that she had apparently been holding. Quinn smiled, and kissed Rachel softly on the cheek.
"I'm sorry I acted like that."
"It's alright, I understand", said Shelby, nodding.
For the rest of the dinner, the three of them sat, talking about little things. Shelby was happy to find out that Rachel still had the cup she had given her to drink from. Quinn was happy to hear Shelby say that her and Puck were welcome to visit Beth at anytime. Rachel was just happy. When they were finished eating, Rachel invited Shelby back to the apartment, and the woman happily accepted. When they got there, it was quiet.
"Well, this is a nice place...you said you live here with how many people?"
"Three, but it always seems like more. We get lots of visitors", laughed Rachel, looking at Quinn. They got settled in the living room, and started chatting about Rachel's job, and Quinn's classes, when Puck exited his room. As he walked into the living room, he stopped and started at Shelby.
"Whoa...", he said.
"Hello Noah", said Shelby.
"Hey...", he said, nervously.
"Puck, it's okay. We're on better terms now", said Rachel.
"Oh, that's cool. It's nice to see you Shelby."
"You too."
"Hey Puck, where is everyone", asked Quinn.
"Jonah's with Mercedes, but I have no idea where Jade is. She's not answering calls or texts, neither are Santana or Brit", he answered, walking into the kitchen.
"Uh-oh...",mumbled Quinn.
"See, I told you something was wrong", whined Rachel, pulling her phone from her pocket.
"Don't worry, we'll find out", said Quinn, taking her phone out as well.
"Wow, who else from McKinley moved here", laughed Shelby.
"Yeah, it's crazy, I know", said Rachel, dialing her phone.
Puck strolled back into the living room, opening a beer.
"You are so not twenty-one...", said Shelby.
"Awe, come on, you're busting me? Really", asked Puck, nervously.
"No, I'm teasing. As long as you're responsible about it, I really have nothing to say."
After not getting an answer from Jade, once again, Rachel let out a frustrated groan.
"Yeah, I didn't get an answer from San...", said Quinn.
"Can we go to your apartment", asked Rachel, in a really worried tone.
"Not just yet, just...here, let me try Brit", said Quinn. As she was about to press send on her phone, the door opened, and in walked Santana.
"There you are", breathed Quinn."Everything okay?"
"Not exactly, no", said Santana, and she looked over at Shelby."What the Hell...".
"Hello, Santana."
"Um, hi...".
"I'll explain later, Santana. What's going on, where's Jade", asked Rachel, standing up.
"I'm just here to grab some of her things...she's gonna' stay at our place tonight", answered Santana.
"Can you please tell me why", asked Rachel.
"Well, I was going to but, you have company so it can wait until tomorrow...".
"Shelby, would please excuse me for a moment", asked Rachel, not taking her eyes away from Santana.
"Sure."
"Why don't you two go in Rachel's room, I'll keep Shelby company", said Quinn.
"Me too, you guys can fill us in later", said Puck, sitting down.
"Great, Santana let's go", said Rachel, walking towards her room. She wasn't trying to sound pushy, but she felt her friendship with Jade was slipping, and refused to be left out of anything that had to do with her. Santana took a deep breath, kicked her shoes off, and followed Rachel into her bedroom. Once the door was shut, Rachel stood, arms folded across her chest, waiting for Santana to start talking.
"Maybe...you should sit down", said Santana, quietly.
"No, it's fine, I'll stand."
"Rachel", Santana snapped."...now."
The tiny brunette hesitated for a few seconds, but reluctantly, she took a seat on her bed.
"Her stomach problems...", said Santana, in a softer tone."They make a little more sense now."
"How?"
Santana took a seat next to Rachel on the bed, but she wouldn't look at her. She couldn't, at least not yet. She didn't want to say it. For some reason, saying it straight out would only make it even worse. Plus, the Latina knew it wasn't something that would be easy for Rachel to hear. It was her best friend, who was already going through enough. Now here she had to tell her that the situation itself was even worse than any of them could of known.
"Remember...when she left Smashed with Mika that night", she asked, her voice shaking a little. Rachel just nodded her head."She said nothing happened...but...she lied. He...", but she trailed off. Luckily, Rachel already knew what she was trying to say.
"He...hurt her that night?"
"Oh God in the worst way...", said Santana breaking into tears. Rachel felt like vomiting all of the sudden."Rachel...she's...s-she's...", stuttered Santana. Rachel grabbed her hand, and held it, tight. Santana still couldn't look at her, but she could feel the girl's eyes on her, and it was making it even harder for her to just come out and say it."She's...loosing...a b-baby...".
"No", said Rachel, plainly at first."No..".
"I'm so sorry, Rach...".
"He...got her pregnant...", Rachel asked, finally breaking into tears.
"He did...and I'm gonna' kill him", growled Santana, through her own tears.
"Where is she", asked Rachel, still holding onto her hand.
"At our apartment. Britt is trying to get her to sleep."
"Stay here...I'll be r-right back", Rachel cried. She stood up, and hurried out of her bedroom.
"Quinn", she cried, walking into the living room.
"Oh no...what is it", asked Quinn, standing up.
"Can you..p-please come here?"
"Oh God, Rachel, honey what's going on", asked Shelby, standing up.
"Shelby, I'm not trying to be rude, and I...I am so happy that we were able to talk, and...w-work through some stuff tonight. But, d-do you mind if I call you...later or tomorrow, or something", cried Rachel.
Shelby wanted so much to say stay, and comfort her daughter, but she knew she'd have to take things slow.
"Sure, it's not a problem at all", she answered with a smile.
"Thank you."
"Rach, why don't you go into your room, I'll show Shelby out, and be right in, okay", said Quinn.
Rachel just nodded, and hurried back into her room, Puck got up and followed her.
Quinn turned to Shelby, and smiled.
"I'm sorry about this. There have been some things going on around here lately, and...it's just an awkward time."
"I honestly don't mind leaving, but who is Jade?"
"She's a girl that went to our school, and she moved here with her older brother and Puck. She's Rachel's best friend, and she's going through some things."
"I can't say I've ever seen Rachel so upset over anyone before", said Shelby.
"Well, you know she's always been a little emotional, right", asked Quinn.
"Yes."
"This Rachel is emotional...times ten. She wears her heart on her sleeve now."
"So, whatever it is that made her this way...it was really horrible, wasn't it", asked Shelby.
"You have no idea."
"Will I ever have an idea?"
"When she's ready for you to know, than yes, you will", answered Quinn, simply.
A few minutes later, Shelby was gone, and Quinn rushed into Rachel's room. She expected Rachel to be crying, and Santana to be upset, but when she saw Puck with tears in his eyes, her level of worry spiked.
"Tell me."
"That mother fucker knocked her up", growled Puck."And now, she's loosing the baby."
"Wait...Mika really did touch her that night", Quinn asked in shock.
Santana just nodded. Puck stood up and started pacing around the room.
Quinn stood there, not knowing what to say. She was absolutely disgusted by the situation, and wanted to kill somebody.
"That's it. I'm done, this isn't happening to that girl anymore", she finally said."We're calling the police."
"We can't", said Santana.
"Why not?"
"She made me promise not to."
"And you're gonna' listen", asked Puck, in shock.
"I don't know what else to do", yelled Santana."She says if we do that, we'll make things worse!"
"Noah, you know how the Price family is...they make things go away", cried Rachel."You've seen how nervous Jade and Jonah get when they are talking on the phone with their parents, or have to go see them. They are terrified. We can't call the police."
"Fine, then we're take care of this ourselves", said Quinn, wiping some tears away.
"Good, how", asked Puck.
"I don't know yet, but it doesn't matter. Jesse St. Woman Beater, and Mika fucking Price...they're both going down."
Meanwhile, Brittany lay in Santana's bed with Jade wrapped in her arms. She really wanted the girl to fall asleep, but it didn't seem like it was going to happen anytime soon. The hour that had passed was nothing but silence. The tell blond was actually surprised that Jade had stopped crying. She couldn't help but think, that if she was going through what her friend was, she wouldn't be able to stop crying. She pulled Jade as close as she could to her body, and felt tears drip onto her chest.
Oh, she hasn't stopped crying, I just couldn't hear it.
"Britt...what's one of your favorite things in the world?"
Brittany was thrown off. She wasn't expecting Jade to say anything.
"What?"
"What's one thing you really love?"
"Unicorns."
"Really? Why", asked Jade, her face still buried into Brittany.
"What's not to love about unicorns? They're special. What about you?"
"Fireworks...", she answered.
"I love fireworks", giggled Brittany.
"I'm so in love with fireworks, Britt. All the colors...how bright they are. How when you're watching them, everything in the world that causes you pain...just...goes away. It's the world's most beautiful distraction...".
"I like when they're all different colors, and it turns the sky into one giant rainbow", said Brittany, as she rubbed Jade's back.
"Yeah...", said Jade, as she lifted her head. She actually had a smile on her face. A weak smile, but at least it was a smile."Rainbows are right up there with fireworks for me. Most people who know how much I like rainbows, they always think it's because I'm half gay."
"Half gay?"
"Yeah...,bisexual."
"Oh, just like me", said Brittany, with a smile.
"Yeah. But, that's not why I like rainbows. I like them because...colors are so much better when they're all clustered together. I know it's stupid...but that's why I like them", said Jade, tiredly.
"I don't think it's stupid. I hate the word stupid."
"You do?"
"Yeah...because people used to call me that all the time. They still do...and it frustrates me because...I don't feel stupid."
"You aren't stupid, Britt. I know how you feel, people call me stupid all the time too."
"You're not."
"Thank you for saying that I'm not", said Jade, with a smile.
"Thank you for saying that I'm not...you said it first", she said.
Brittany was worried. She was confused as to why Jade wasn't upset, or why she wasn't talking about what was happening to her. Eventually she figured talking about other things was the girl's way of dealing with it. So, she decided to stop questioning it.
"Hey, how come you never joined Glee? When you were singing with your band the other night, I thought you were so good."
"I'm not good enough for a club like that."
"Yes you are, you totally are", exclaimed Brittany."Even if you weren't...it wouldn't have mattered. I'm sure Mr. Shuster would have let you join. We liked new people."
"I thought about joining, but I got scared. I probably never would have been able to bring myself to actually sing in front of any of you."
"Jade, Glee was a place where people found their voices. I mean, me and San, and Quinn...at first we only joined to help Coach Sylvester. After a while...we started liking it...a lot. I always liked singing, but I didn't really know I was good at it until I joined that club. I think Santana and Quinn felt the same way. We all found our voices in there."
Jade smiled.
"Singing and dancing is what makes my life worth living. Well, those two things, unicorns, and having friends like Santana and Quinn...and Artie...and now you."
"Will you sing something for me?"
"Right now?"
"Only if you want to", said Jade.
"Okay...", said Brittany.
"But wait. Don't forget to sing for the moment, Britt. Try not to sing just any song...make it a song that you love, one that you understand. One that brings out you're current feelings."
"You mean, how I feel right now?"
"Yeah."
"That's hard...", said Brittany, sadly.
"How come?"
"Well...because I'm sad to see you in pain, Jade. I'm mad at your brother, and don't understand why he thinks it's okay to treat girls like that."
"You can think of a song for that, I know you can, Britt. You just said it yourself, singing is one thing that makes your life worth living. If you believe something like that, I promise you, there are songs living within you that you didn't even know were there. Just think really hard, you can do it."
The blond smiled. She liked how encouraging Jade was. She thought for a few minutes, and finally figured out what song she could sing.
"Got it."
"Yeah?"
"Mhm."
"Go ahead, and sing it if you want."
Brittany-
If I were a boy even just for a day
I'd roll out of bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted
And go drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I'd kick it with who I wanted
And I'd never get confronted for it
'Cause they stick up for me
Jade smile at the girls song choice. Not just because she liked her voice, but she had a feeling that she would sing that exact song.
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her
'Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
'Cause he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it's broken
So they'd think that I was sleeping alone
I'd put myself first
And make the rules as I go
'Cause I know that she'd be faithful
Waiting for me to come home, to come home
While she was singing, she was looking right into Jade's eyes. She felt like she had to, because she was singing the song for her, and really wanted to make her happy at the moment. Jade made her feel comfortable, and that was a quality Brittany loved to have in a friend. She laid there, singing, thinking to herself that she wanted to be in Jade's life forever, no matter what. And when Brittany Pierce made a friend, and had that thought in the back of her mind, she knew she had made a life long connection. Even if the other person didn't know it.
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her
'Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
'Cause he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
It's a little too late for you to come back
Say it's just a mistake
Think I'd forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong
But you're just a boy
You don't understand
And you don't understand, oh
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you wish you were a better man
You don't listen to her
You don't care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
'Cause you're taking her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
But you're just a boy
As the song finished, Brittany smile. Jade's eyes were getting heavy since the middle of the song, and she was finally drifting off to sleep. She carefully pulled herself away from the girl, and tucked her in. Once she was standing up, she grabbed her cell phone from the nightstand, and looked at it. The very first thing she saw was a text from Santana.
On my way back with Q, and Rach...we're havin a sleepover...and figuring out a way 2 take Jesse and Mika down. U awake? - S
Brittany smiled, as she walked out of the bedroom, and answered back.
Awake...and ready to help. Can't wait til' you guys get here. - B
Hope you liked it, please let me know what you think. The song was "If I were a Boy" By: Beyonce. Oh by the way...if you guys, as my very loyal readers, ever have a song you think would fit with the story, and think I should put it in, let me know. If I think I can make it work, I'll glady add it.