Chapter 33!
Title: "Secrets and Surprises"
Disclaimer: I own noting!!
Note: Sorry for the really long wait, you guys… the next one will definitely be out sooner…
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The Academy really looked different at night.
I couldn't hear children laughing, or small footsteps running… it was quiet and dark, except for the glowing window on the second floor.
Iruka-sensei's classroom… my old classroom…
The window seemed a lot closer to the ground than I remembered it used to be when I was little…
…
Being here again really brought back memories… about our classes, our training, the dreams we built up when we were younger, to become a famous shinobi, kunoichi, or even Hokages…
But now I was visiting this building for very different reasons than studying or training.…
… I was still having trouble accepting that I was here…
… It felt like I was doing something wrong, coming here to talk with Iruka-sensei…
The red double-doors of the main entrance opened with a familiar creak.
The main room was really dark.
All the cubbies and the front desks were barely lit by a single dim bulb in the middle of the ceiling.
No one at all seemed to be here…
I wondered for a second whether Iruka-sensei was still here or not, but knowing him, he was too responsible to leave the lights on… besides, the door was still unlocked.
I found myself hurrying up the stairs to the second floor, feeling a little rushed by the darkness…
The second floor hallway was exactly as I remembered it, just darker.
My feet practically carried me to my old classroom, following a very old habit.
The light from inside glowed through the frosted glass of the white classroom door.
I didn't know why I felt so nervous, opening that door… I felt like I shouldn't be here…. Like if I opened this door, I'd get in trouble…. Like I was only twelve again.
I hated the fact that I still had these childish feelings…
I really needed to grow up and learn how to make my own decisions!
I slid open the classroom door a little too harshly.
I expected to see a brooding Iruka-sensei at his desk, or perhaps cleaning the chalk board… but no one was here.
It was empty.
He still has to be here…
I peeked around the classroom, just in case I just didn't see him at first… but the classroom really was empty…
… maybe he had to go to the teacher's lounge or something…
I hesitantly walked through the door, closing it behind me… another habit form a long time ago.
A single desk lamp lit the classroom.
That was all the light that was available since the classroom was always used during the day.
I walked further into the room, my shoes creating the only sound in the room.
I scanned the raised levels of seats, remembering all the young faces that used to sit in each spot… my eyes found my old desk, which I shared with Naruto and Sasuke… even if the seats weren't always assigned, everybody would usually sit in the same spot…
I remembered the countless battles I had with Ino over who get to sit next to Sasuke... I won most of the time...
…
Things were so simple back then… the only problems I had were Sasuke-related.
The only secret I had was the ill-hidden one: I liked Sasuke…
Now that I've gotten older… my problems have grown, as well as my secrets…
…Kakashi-sensei…
…
My life has gotten so much more complicated from the life I had behind that desk…
I cringed at the memory of my Sasuke-centric thoughts that overwhelmed my head during those early years.
That's enough of that… I thought to myself, looking away from the desks.
I really didn't need a trip down that memory lane.
I looked back to the rest of the empty classroom.
The board, the podium, the window.
Nothing ever seemed to change here…
The air still smelled like chalk and books, a lot like how Iruka-sensei smelled… it was really comforting…
...
Where is he?
I suddenly reemerged from my wandering thoughts when Iruka came back to mind.
I really couldn't stay here that long.
My parents were expecting me to get home really soon… and the longer I spent here, the less confident I was about wanting to know things that Kakashi-sensei probably didn't want me to know.
There was something really wrong about keeping secrets from your secret lover…
I took a deep breath, trying to wash the bitter taste of that thought from my mind.
I started walking towards the door again, not sure if I was planning on leaving, or looking for Iruka-sensei.
I slid the door open quickly, walking through it before I could realize that someone was walking up at the same moment.
My forehead hit the front of his vest awkwardly, a spray of papers fluttered to the ground.
It was surprising how clumsy I could be when I wasn't really thinking…
I didn't have to look up at his face to know it was Iruka-sensei, I knew it was him, not only because he was supposed to be the only other person in the building, but because of the way he started quickly apologizing for something that was my fault.
"I'm sorry about that…" He immediately knelt down to gather up the papers, I did, too.
His polite nervousness, his scatter-brained mannerisms… Iruka-sensei seemed more like himself now.
Maybe it was because he's been grading papers or something that he went back into his usual 'teacher-mode'.
"No, I was the one who wasn't looking." I offered my apologies, already feeling a little better that Iruka was back to 'normal'.
If he had been as strange as he was at Kakashi's apartment, I probably would've felt even more uncomfortable about being here.
I picked up the last of the papers, they were tests… just by glancing at the papers for a few seconds, I knew that most of the kids had passed with high scores.
Iruka was really a great teacher.
I almost smiled to myself.
His eyes met mine for only a second, he quickly walked into the classroom, acting as nervous as I felt…
He walked over to his desk, laying out the papers neatly.
I followed him a little slowly.
He was separating the papers into pile, straightening the stacks by tapping the edges of the stacks against the desktop.
A few moments passed.
I really didn't know what I could say to start this sort of conversation.
But Iruka-sensei was more talkative than I thought he would be.
"I really can't offer you much… Sakura…" he started up, sifting through the papers once again. "If I tell you too much, and he finds out…I'd probably get hurt." He finally turned around, showing a weaker version of his polite smile. He was trying to make a joke, but it looked like he actually meant that last part.
He leaned against the desk a little.
"I don't want to know anything that Kakashi would never tell me…" I said quickly, wanting to let him know that I wasn't here for deep dark secrets…. (The idea of Kakashi having any of those was a little strange)… but that I was only here to learn why everyone was treating this mission so secretively.
I was distracted by Iruka-sensei's smile… it wasn't weak anymore.
His expression was almost exactly the same as the one he'd give me when I'd pass a test with a 100.
He looked down to his feet.
"I understand…" He said softly, pushing himself off of the desk.
That was something I loved about Iruka-sensei. His empathy.
How he could tune into a student's real feelings and accept them straight away…
He knew that I would hate keeping secrets from Kakashi…. he would know that I was already bugged by the fact that being here was a secret.
"I'll only tell you what I think you should know…" He said with a quiet voice.
I suddenly felt even better than before… a bit relieved.
He took a couple steps toward me, still looking at his feet… he almost looked like he was having trouble finding words… no… he was having trouble saying what he was already planning on saying.
I was about to ask him what he wanted to say… until he said it, and my sense of relief was threatened a little.
"But you have to do something for me…" He took a few more steps closer.
I forgot about the fact he had said 'favors'… keeping this conversation quiet was only one favor…
"What?" I asked, hoping it wasn't something else that would be considered a secret.
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Things went smoother than they could have…
He tried to convince himself as he was leaning against his desk, staring at the bed he had been laying in for too long… the bed that still had her scent.
He had to stop thinking about her.
Even now he was trying to stop thinking of excuses to go see her.
...
He really shouldn't be feeling this impatient, and he knew it…
But lately he's been needing more and more of her… not only more time with her… more of her…
He took a deep breath, furrowing his eyebrows, trying to get these thoughts out of his head…
Since when did he start thinking like this?
Moreover, since when couldn't he stop?
…
He knew he should really relax for tonight… rest…
He was going to see her again in the morning… for physical training.
...
… that still seemed like too long of a wait…
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"What?" I asked Iruka-sensei, not really anticipating what this favor was going to be.
He took another step.
"Just…" He paused. "… Be careful… on this next mission." He managed to finish his sentence after a few pauses. His eyes found mine, he looked a little strained, like he just asked me a big favor.
That was it?
That was all he wanted me to do?
He didn't really need to request that… I was already really cautious about this mission…
But maybe he was was just over-worrying again...
"Of course…" I said politely. Trying to lighten him up.
He shifted his stance a little, looking even more awkward for a second.
"No, that's not what I…" He started up again, a little urgently. He took another pause.
Iruka-sensei really had trouble finding his words when he was like this.
"… Be careful… around Kakashi." He said finally.
Those last two words were new.
"What?" I was suddenly a lot more confused than I was when I walked in here.
"Just don't let your guard down." Iruka-sensei spoke up again, sounding a little more confident now.
It was like he was taking my confidence as his own, because now I suddenly felt a little uncomfortable.
What exactly was he trying to say?
"What do you mean?" I sounded a little defensive.
"He hasn't really been himself -" Iruka-sensei seemed a little more defensive, too… but in a protective way… like he was trying to warn me…
"He wouldn't do anything irresponsible." I interrupted him, feeling even more defensive…
It almost sounded like he was warning me to stay away from Kakashi… that he might do something…
"We don't know that." Iruka pushed the issue a little further, sounding even more serious. I could feel my nerves buzz a little with irritation … we were going to get into a fight if I didn't calm down.
I really only had a single answer…
"I trust him."
He seemed to falter a little at how confidently I said those words. He let out a breath.
Our nerves settled a little.
"I'm not asking you not to trust him…" He sounded a little softer… "You just need to make sure he doesn't forget who he is now."
What did that even mean?
"'Who he is now'?..."I repeated that really strange phrase to myself, quietly. "What exactly are you expecting him to do?..."
When I said those words, he suddenly got a little more serious. He turned away from me a little, his hands falling into his pockets.
"That's something I really can't tell you, Sakura…" He stared at the desks.
… This conversation was so irritating… he kept dropping hints at something, but they didn't make sense.
I suddenly had so many more question than I did when I came in here…
… and now after confusing me this much, he wouldn't tell me anymore about what he thought Kakashi-sensei 'might do'…
…But…
… I didn't want to push it…
… Even if Iruka-sensei thought Kakashi was going to somehow 'forget who he is', I still trusted him…
But now… as we stood here in silence, that question that had been bothering me the most came to mind.
If I was ever going to ask this, it had to be now.
"Iruka-sensei… " I called his name, taking a step towards him, trying to get his attention, even though I knew he probably wasn't really distracted by the empty desks.
He still had a small frown on, the same one he would always wear when he just broke up a fight between students or would have to scold Naruto for joking in class.
Something about seeing that frown was actually comforting… in the strangest way…
He looked down at me.
"… What does Kakashi have to do with this mission?..." I brought out the biggest question when he didn't expect it.
He quickly looked away from my eyes, staring at the floor.
He took his hands out of his pockets as he walked back to the desk… he picked up the papers, stacking them all in the same pile now.
I wondered for a second if he was actually going to answer… or if he was ignoring me…
Normally I wouldn't think Iruka-sensei would do that… but ever since he found out about me and Kakashi … He's started to act more like a real person, and not just a teacher, around me… there were a lot of different sides of Iruka-sensei I hadn't seen before…
He did respond in the end, though… his voice was slightly polite, again…
"What do you know about Kakashi-san's past?" He answered my question with a question.
Resurfacing from my thoughts I barely caught his words...
When I actually thought about the question…
… I realized just how little I knew about him.
Shouldn't I know more about him by now?
We've been a relationship this long… we've known each for way longer…
"Only stories the I've heard from the Jounins…" I answered truthfully, trying to think over everything. "He became a Chuunin when he was six, and then a Jounin when he was thirteen…" I summed up everything I knew about his past in that pitiful little sentence…
Iruka was flipping through a teacher's book now.
"You should know where he went after that." He spoke up again.
Now I felt like this was a test for some reason…. I spent a few seconds running everything through my mind.
"ANBU…" The answer left my lips as soon as I thought it.
I saw him nod a little as he closed the book…
I heard him take a deep breath…
"That's was when…" He took a second, like he was trying to find the right way to phrase this choppy explanation. "… he met someone who… was really important to him…" He sounded more than a little uncomfortable talking about this.
I realized now why he didn't want to face me when he was talking about this… he knew that he didn't have a strong poker face.
"What?" I asked up, hoping he'd say more.
"But she's gone now…" He sounded like that was all he was going to say.
"'She'?" I repeated that word… trying to push him for more, hoping he wasn't going to say what was going through my mind.
A woman.
Who was 'important' to him.
I started walking over to Iruka-sensei, I really had to see his face when he answered this new question.
"Were they…. Was she his-"
"That's really all I can tell you…" He cut me off my really important question right as I walked up to his side.
I still didn't want to leave it at that.
"She was more than just someone 'important' wasn't she?" I asked up, my stomach felt like it was slowly tying itself in a knot…
I wasn't an idiot…. I already knew the answer to this question.
And Iruka-sensei knew I did.
He looked away from his desk, and over to me.
His eyes were really soft, but almost sad. He had never given me that look before.
I slowly looked away from him, my eyes finding the desktop.
"Yes…" He said quietly… he hadn't needed to…. But he must've known that hearing it was better than not.
…
And yet I didn't feel any better.
…
The knot in my stomach only tightened.
I had always wondered about Kakashi-sensei 's past… and for this to be one of the first things to learn about it… it was more than a little off-putting…
…We stood in silence for a couple seconds more… I could feel Iruka-sensei's eyes travel across my face, watching my reaction a little worryingly.
…
So this mission had to do with that aspect of Kakashi's life… why did that make it so much more scarier than before?!
I suddenly felt a little weight on my shoulder.
"Don't worry…" His voice was soft… I felt his hand inch along my shoulder. I didn't even notice until now that he was facing me. "Everything will work out… " He said with a wide smile that quickly disappeared after he saw that I was completely unaffected by his reassuring, but fake words… He got a little awkward again, like he realized that I was passed the age when I would blindly believed everything he told me.
"Er, well, I mean…The way he talks about you…" His eyes lost whatever sadness or pity they had before…"He loves you."…
…
…
I really couldn't move.
…
Did he really just say that?
He did.
But he didn't even pause, or look away from me.
…
And yet… why was it that when Iruka-sensei said it… it actually felt real…?
This whole time it was always so difficult to believe that this was happening… It was always so difficult to put everything in perspective; it had always been so hard to convince myself that Kakashi-sensei could ever love me…
But when Iruka said it… I knew he wasn't lying… he really wasn't just trying to cheer me up.
He knew it was true.
And when he said it… it felt real and honest…
The knot in my stomach suddenly loosened completely.
I could almost feel a smile threaten my lips…. But I still couldn't really move.
I was still only looking up to Iruka-sensei's face, space-eyed.
"So-sorry… I know that that was probably inappropriate…" I suddenly felt his hand snatch away from my shoulder. He was back to apologizing with that polite nervousness again.
I guess he must've taken my space-gaze wrong.
I felt that smile on my lips now.
I couldn't help myself as I threw my arms around him.
He made a sound of surprise and stood still for an awkward second before I felt him hug back warmly… He smelled like chalk and books.
I didn't know why… but I really felt grateful to him.
Even if we had just had a roller-coaster conversation… but just by saying those last few sentences… he really helped me…
Even if he seemed to still be a little cautious about Kakashi and me, he still believed in our feelings for each other, and wanted to help us…
Iruka-sensei was definitely a more complex person than I thought he was…
It really surprised me…but I felt like I understood him a little better now…
…
"So he talks about me?" I asked up to him jokingly, feeling so much better now.
He laughed.
The way his laughter rumbled in his chest was different than the way Kakashi-sensei's laugh sounded… it wasn't bad, but now I really wanted to feel Kakashi's laughter…
………......
"You're a little late, Sakura…" My mom was practically waiting at the door.
"Sorry… Kakashi-sensei had some of the other Jounins over, so I couldn't really start treating him till a little later…" I lied, feeling completely rotten about it.
But I really couldn't say the truth…
'Sorry… Kakashi-sensei had friends over, so we waited till they were gone, kissed and 'played' for several minutes before he would let me treat him… and then I had to go meet with Iruka-sensei, alone, at the empty Academy for a secret conversation about my teacher/lover's ex-girlfriend….'
If I had said that… I would've ruined my life at that very second... that's if my mom didn't just start laughing at the unbelievable 'joke' my life has turned into…
…
… I really didn't want to imagine the amount of karma that would come back to get me for lying to my parents and friends so many times…
…
"Okay… but I'll have a talk with Kakashi-san about that…" She threatened casually as she went up the stairs, leaving me a little dumbfounded.
…
Knowing my mom… she would actually track down Kakashi-sensei and ask him about this…
I let out a sigh.
Now Kakashi is going to have to lie to my parents for me.
I kicked off my shoes by the door and trudged upstairs to my room.
As soon as I walked into the door I was already squirming out of my clothes, shedding them as quickly as I wanted to shed the guilt of all these lies and secrets… as well as the guilt over being so happy about one of those secrets…
Down to my underwear, I hurriedly grabbed my pajama pants, practically hopping into them…
My brain ran through my schedule for tomorrow again…
I was going to go meet Kakashi-sensei at the river… I just have to help him train as best as I can, be there in case his wounds open again… and… be there with him.
I paced through my room, feeling a little edgy.
I had been looking forward to seeing him again, and I still was… but now I was a little nervous…
Could I really act like I didn't know why he was acting a little strange about this mission?
… Should I just tell him that I knew?
… Maybe if I said that I just overhead it on the street or something?
… Would he get upset?
… I really don't think I can handle keeping this from him.
… I'm lying to everybody for him… I don't want to lie to him…
Tap tap…
I was about on my fifth pace through my room when I heard that familiar sound that always sent my heart racing.
I quickly turned to the door, my hair whipping the sides of my face
There he was… as if thinking about him this much just delivered him to me.
His back was to the window, but I saw that he still had his casual black pants on, and the loose T-shirt… I wondered if he put a mask on or not.
But I couldn't really think about clothes as I walked over to the door, sliding it open.
It was really cold outside for some reason.
He turned to look at me.
His mask loose around his neck.
After only a moment of looking at me, I swear I could see him smirk a little… but it was too dark to see when the moonlight was hitting his back now.
He immediately leaned down to me.
I was about to reach up to him, to wrap my arms around his neck, anticipating a kiss… even if I was really nervous about seeing him again, it didn't distract me from this need to touch him.
But things didn't go as planned when his hands stopped mine from reaching him. His fingertips holding onto my wrists gently.
"You'll catch a cold if you stay like that…" He said warmly, his face only inches from mine.
Huh?
His eyes only lingered down for a moment before he looked away quickly.
I looked down, too.
…
. . .
…
I definitely couldn't catch a cold when my face suddenly felt like it was burning.
This whole time I hadn't even bothered to put my shirt on.
And here I was, in my bra... acting like an idiot.
"Oh…" I said quietly as I ran back inside and grab my shirt harshly, pulling it over my head as fast as I could.
… I knew I shouldn't be that embarrassed.
He didn't seem to be very bothered by it. (which was actually a little insulting for some reason)
… and he has seen me without my shirt on before… (but that was before we were even together, so I guess it doesn't count)…
But, it was the fact he had to point it out, that was so embarrassing.
You'd think that as a kunoichi I could notice when I had a shirt on or not!
…
So many thoughts ran through my head within the few seconds it took to get my shirt on.
And just as soon as I tugged it all the way down, I felt his hand curl around my waist, sliding across my front slowly.
I felt his chest press against my back.
His face leaned against my hair.
The embarrassment was diluted by the wonderfully hypnotic feeling his touch always gave me.
"I just wanted to do this again…" He answered my unasked question of why he suddenly decided to show up.
… I noticed that he didn't say anything about what he just saw, didn't even laugh…
Kakashi-sensei could be immature at times… but this was proof that he was still a tactful adult, under all that juvenile charm.
I was once again grateful to have a man like him love me…
I took in a deep, relaxing breath…
"I wanted to, too."I breathed the words out, the tension leaving my body with them.
We just stood there for a minute or two.
His other arm curled around my waist.
I felt him breathe against me… slowly…
We watched our moonlit shadow on my bedroom floor, it swayed as we did every now and then.
Even though I couldn't see his face right now… I could almost feel the happiness coming off of him…
It was so comfortable…
I heard some movement in the lower part of the house.
My mom must've gone back downstairs for some reason.
I suddenly was a little worried about her… and what she would do if she came through that door right now…
… I guess she'd be able to talk to 'Kakashi-san' then…
I joked to myself, still not feeing all that better about lying to her.
… Then my mind crossed the idea of my father opening that door.
I was distracted by my scary 'what if' thought when his arms uncrossed from around me. His hands found my shoulders.
He didn't have to turn me around, I was already ahead of him, but his lips still found mine first… he was a little impatient…
My stomach jumped a little… it still felt amazing every time we kissed.
My hands found his on my shoulders, holding onto his fingers…
He broke away before either of us could get as serious as I knew we both wanted to get.
But I still wanted more….
"Tomorrow, by the river… at nine…" He reminded me unnecessarily.
I didn't mind… I loved his voice when it was quiet and gentle like that…
"Of course…" I responded obediently…and yet, I decided to have some fun with him…" but…" I added that little word vaguely.
… Today had been such a weird day…
I really just wanted a moment to enjoy this without thinking about anything other than his hands, lips, voice, smile, anything other than him.
And it had somehow become a strange relationship quirk for us to tease each other like this… but he was better at it, of course…
"'But'?..." He asked seriously, his hands sliding onto my back, pulling me against him...
I smiled a little smugly to myself…
"But, maybe you should rest… You really weren't supposed to leave bed till tomorrow morning…You can't overdo yourself, since you can reverse the treatment if you're not careful…." I lectured like a professional medic-nin.
I normally would never be able to lecture Kakashi-sensei… but seeing as I was his personal medic-nin right now, I did have a sort of power over him… I wondered if he knew I was taking advantage over that.
"Ah, I see…" He answered as if I was as professional a medic-nin as my words would lead others to believe. I almost thought that he was actually taking me seriously…. But that was before I heard him answer back with that warm voice that he always used when he would tease back.
"Well, if I have to rest…" He trailed off as he started walking backwards, his arms holding me as tightly as before, making me follow him.
I was all too aware of the direction he was going.
I was even more aware of it when he suddenly stopped.
My heart started beating faster.
"Kakashi…" I called his name as his hands loosened and found my arms again.
"I'm not supposed to leave bed till tomorrow morning, right?"He shot back my words warmly, but now they had a very different meaning.
He was the one having fun now…
Every time I joked around with him like this, he always managed to find a way to beat any verbal comeback… thinking back on it, I could remember him talking about this before… the night at the Main Hall:
'You should know by now that every time you challenge me like that… I'll always get a little too serious about it"
…
Maybe I should listen to those warnings he gives me more often…
…
Even though I thought that… there was a part of me that was glad that I decided to 'challenge' him just now…
The next thing I knew, I had to duck down a little to kiss him… he was sitting on the edge of my bed.
His hands on my shoulders tightened, pulling me closer.
My arms fell onto his shoulders, my hands immediately finding the back of his head. My fingers ran through his hair a little eagerly.
When I was younger… I always thought that his hair would feel coarse, that it had to be really tough to stand up like that… I didn't find out until recently that his hair was actually really soft.
I also remembered when I was thirteen or fourteen, I wondered, once, if Kakashi-sensei's hands were hard with calluses….
I was distracted from those memories when I felt those, only slightly battle-roughened, hands drop from my shoulders.
They slid down my spine, stopping just below the small of my back.
I definitely didn't know when I was younger that I'd find out his hands were actually gentle and attentive, by feeling them slide along my body like this…
I couldn't control a shiver as his fingers followed up and down my spine again…
He pulled me closer in response… I was standing in between his knees now.
It was really new to kiss him like this… I was always used to being the one who had to reach up to him.
His kiss suddenly got deeper… more serious.
But I couldn't pay attention to that when he took one hand away from my back and started scooting himself back from the edge of the bed. He was pulling me with him.
I found myself following his lead, not wanting to break this kiss….
He scooted back all the way, until his back was against the wall, I lifted my knee onto the mattress. My hands fell onto my bedspread as I had to lean even farther onto the bed to reach him.
Despite my efforts, I stumbled a little, and I had to break away from him as I climbed onto the bed…
Both of his hands slid from my back, down to my waist, pulling me onto his lap swiftly.
Just when I had gotten used to the idea of getting onto the bed, I was suddenly hit with another moment of surprise when I noticed that my legs were on either side of his. If he pulled me any closer, I'd be straddling him.
And as if he was following my imagination in that moment, his hands pulled my waist, making me inch even farther onto his lap.
Before I could even react, he tugged me down for another kiss.
Even now I had to kiss down to him, I didn't really want to lower myself all the way down on his lap… I was still trying to get used to this…
My heart was stuttering with uncertainty, my stomach was burning excitedly, my hands felt a little shaky when they found his shoulders.
I closed my eyes when his hands slid up my back swiftly, making me arch my back a little to follow his upward touch. Just before his hands reached the back of my neck, the slid down to the small of my back again.
He leaned up to me, I felt his lips on mine… this kiss was a lot more intense now… I was a little surprised when I actually leaned closer for more…
But my eyes flashed open when I felt his hands push the fabric of my shirt up a few inches, his fingertips pressing against my skin.
…
His hands really were a lot softer than I thought they would be when I was younger…
…
I shuddered against him.
He finally broke the kiss.
I didn't know I had to gasp for air until he did.
"Shouldn't overdo it, right?" He whispered into my ear gently. His hands rubbing along my back like he was trying to sooth my lungs into a regular pace, even though the fact he was still touching me and the fact that I was still straddling him, wasn't really helping my breathing.
Besides, he was the patient here… I shouldn't be the one who has to rest… but right now… I was so tired…
His hands slid off of my back, but didn't leave me for too long.
I felt his fingers trail passed both my cheeks before he pulled me down for another kiss. Really soft.
Then, before I could realize exactly what he was doing, he was lifting me off of his lap, as he moved out from under me.
I was slightly surprised when he laid me down… but as soon as my head landed on the pillow, I literally felt like I could fall asleep at any moment.
But I definitely couldn't when I was almost afraid he was about leave.
I was going to get up and say something to make him stay… I didn't have to.
I felt the mattress sink a little as his face suddenly came into my vision, his head resting on my pillow.
I knew for a fact this bed was small, and even my feet would hang off the end sometimes… and for a man as tall as he was, it must've not be comfortable.
But he still wanted to be here.
I felt his hand land on my side scooting me closer to him a few inches. I helped.
Then after a moment, my sleepy brain finally realized what exactly this situation was.
Kakashi-sensei was laying next to me.
His eyes travelling my face, as mine were his…
It was such a strange thought… looking at this from the perspective of my younger self… it was almost like a dream…
Kakashi-sensei was actually in my bed…
The man who I had known for about four years… was now sharing this bed with me, his hand brushing through my hair gently…
He leaned over to me, his lips landing on mine…
Somehow he knew that I wanted him to do that…
A year ago, I would have never believed anyone if they told me that Kakashi-sensei would ever be in my room, let alone bed… especially with me in it, too.
Then again, that's really a given… since I wouldn't have believed anyone who told me that I'd ever kiss Kakashi-sensei like this… which I was doing right now… so the unbelievable really is possible.
His lips left mine…
I looked back to his face, loving his smile so much… but it was getting harder to open my eyes every time I blinked…
I cursed myself for being so sleepy…
This was such a perfect moment… I didn't want to miss any of it…
His hand started brushing through my hair again... making me even sleepier… I wanted to stop him, to get up and stay awake, but his voice stopped me…
"I'll stay till you fall asleep."
His voice was so quiet… and soft… I really couldn't focus on anything else to keep me awake.
"You really shouldn't." Reason used my voice when I wasn't paying attention…
At that his hand curled around my back, pulling me even closer that before… when he started talking again, when my forehead was against his chest… I realized how much I missed listening to his voice this way…
"I'm here now… I don't want to leave and waste some of the only time we can get together…" He said quietly down to me.
My hands found the fabric of his shirt, I felt like I needed to hold him closer, but I was too tired.
Those words worked better than any lullaby or any ocean waves could have… the way his words made me feel so… happy, safe, warm, loved…
"… thank you…"
I didn't know what else to say… I fell asleep without noticing…
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The next chapter will be out pretty soon, promise! :D