Disclaimer: don't own Homestuck yada yada
Friends - Sweet Roxy
Your name is JANE CROCKER and you kind of FIND IT A WONDER how rather EFFECTIVE your trusty SPOONKIND is.
These imps are falling like flies and you are up to your head in grist. It's almost like you have something powering you, something making you fight wildly and effectively. It's a nice feeling, a very nice feeling, to feel this kind of power.
It's amazing how much damage a spoon can make. You relish the feeling. You're pretty sure you quite like it. A lot.
So you keep strifing, imps giving way to your trusty spoon, and you have a quick, very quick, hardly even noticeable-
-I wonder what it would look like covered in red-
-thought that you've already forgotten (except not really) and isn't that rather queer!
You get pestered by your best friend, which you honestly kind of feel like is the last thing you need right now, but you figure you'll put up with the crazy drunk for now.
She ever-so-kindly informs you of what you already know, calling you a stupid tight-ass in a flurry of drunken typos, tells you how she set it up perfectly for you, how she gaev you a godnad (lol gods nads)*dodanmd *goddamned opoortuntitty *is correcpt, how you fucked it up.
She then asks you if you're okay.
Sweet Roxy. Dear, sweet, meddling Roxy.
You tell her you're absolutely peachy. There's really nothing to worry about. You get to be friends with him, after all. Which would have been the outcome, anyways, right?
She doesn't seem convinced (you can't blame her; you really aren't all that convinced yourself) and offers to comfort you in aanaanny way ouy want janey *wonk wonk*, and as vulgar as the implications are, you are thankful that she is trying to cheer you up. Yes, you are grateful for Roxy. You care for her as well. She is, after all, a good friend of yours.
Not as good, of course, as you and Jake.
That would just be gosh darned silly.