A/N- I really thought this update would be longer, I'm sorry it's not. But, it's not as short as the last two hopefully. Please Review, and remember your feedback makes me smile. Love you guys!
"I can't say I'm surprised...it was only a matter of time before it came to this."
"What do you mean, Ms. Berry?"
Rachel was conflicted. She had been sitting in a mostly dark, stuffy, windowless room for the better part of three hours. The detective she was talking to had to have known by then, that eye contact wasn't really her thing. She had memorized almost every inch of the room, and the table she was sitting at. Three hours before that, she had been at home. Talking on the phone with Quinn about what they were going to do that night. In the middle of the conversation, there was a knock on the door, and it was female detective, Holly Reid, wanting Rachel to come with her to answer some questions. She looked to Puck, who had told her to just go and get it over with. He'd be down there with whoever he could find as soon as possible. Rachel agreed, and left the apartment with the detective. She hadn't said much in the hours that had passed. However, she was getting tired of being without Quinn, or somebody to hold her hand. So, she decided to start talking just a little bit more.
"I mean...I kinda' figured that somebody would point the finger of blame at me for this, sooner or later. I just thought it might be sooner."
"Rachel", said the detective."You still haven't answered my question. Did you conspire to kill Jesse St. James?"
"I've told you, hundreds of times, I didn't kill him", said Rachel, looking away.
"No, see, either you're not actually listening to what it is that I'm asking, or you're avoiding the truth."
"Excuse me?"
"Going by what I know about you, I can't help but seriously doubt that you would ever be capable of killing anybody on your own. So, I'm asking if you planned this, and got somebody else to do it for you."
"No, I didn't...can you please bring Santana Lopez in here with me? Please...", she begged.
"I already explained to you, that she cannot be in here, she's not an actual lawyer. We can call you a lawyer if you'd like, but if you're innocent, I don't see why you'd need one."
"I resent that statement, Detective Reid. Innocent people go to jail all the time."
"Yes, and guilty people walk the streets freely every single day. Why would you say something like that?"
"It's what I was told."
"Who is it that told you that?"
"Does that really matter?"
"No, I'm just curious", answered Holly, as she leaned back, casually in her chair.
"A friend told me."
"I see. Well, after what you say you went through with Jesse, sounds like you'd have every reason in the world to shoot him. So you have to understand why you're here right now, Rachel."
"What I say I went through? You don't believe me", asked Rachel.
"I didn't say that."
"You know what, it's fine. You don't have to believe me, I have plenty of other people that do believe me, because they understood what kind of person he was. I know the truth, and just because you choose to ignore it, doesn't mean it's not real", snapped Rachel, now making direct eye contact with the woman. "This isn't a pretty arm band, Detective Reid...he broke my wrist."
"It's my job to ask you these questions, Rachel. Some girls do lie about getting beaten up by their boyfriends."
"I'm not one of them!"
"If you didn't have anything to do with his death, why did you spend two hours on the phone with his mother a week after the shooting?"
"Wait a minute...you checked my phone records?"
"Yes, we did. It wasn't easy, seeing as how you have changed your number at least twice...".
"I had to! After the news got back to my hometown that he was killed, I had people calling me like twenty-four seven!"
She was getting angry now. She was no longer sitting back in her seat, with her arms folded across her chest like she had been. Now she was leaned forward, with her arms on the table.
"Right. So, back to your conversation with Mrs. St. James...".
"She called me...she was in tears asking questions about why we broke up. Why he was married to somebody else, and why he hadn't gotten a hold of her in months. I wanted to tell her the truth, but I couldn't bring myself to do it."
"Why not?"
"I didn't know how she would have handled it...if she would have called me a liar, or if it would have made her see him differently as a son...".
"If he hurt you so badly, why would it matter how she saw him as a son?"
"Just because he was an ignorant ass hole with no soul, doesn't mean I have to be one in return."
"No matter how badly he hurt you?"
"Exactly."
"Not a huge fan of revenge, are you", asked Holly, smirking a little.
"Even if I was, I would never take it so far as to kill a man, than proceed to reveal his true colors to his grieving mother."
"I see. Your parents raised you well."
"I didn't learn that from them...they taught me a lot, but not that. With revenge...it's never a guarantee that you'll feel better. Even if you do, it never lasts very long. That, I learned from my best friend."
Holly studied Rachel for a moment. She seemed sad all of the sudden.
"Where's your best friend?"
"What?"
"I can tell just by the way you said that...she's not around, is she?"
"No, and I don't wanna' talk about it."
Rachel missed Jade so much, that the very thought of her made her cry instantly.
"Okay. Listen to me, we're almost done, but I need to know one more thing."
Rachel looked up, tears and desperation in her eyes.
"Why didn't you leave him?"
Rachel let some of her tears fall, and she looked away again. It was a question she wasn't really expecting at that moment. However, she did have an answer.
"Because, I loved him."
Holly nodded, and a very small smile graced her lips. It was that moment she decided that Rachel Berry had absolutely nothing to do with Jesse's death. True, she had her suspicions before, and there were still thousands of questions to be asked, but she wasn't going to ask them. She knew Rachel hadn't done it. The truth was, she did believe Rachel about Jesse hurting her. After digging a bit in to the Life of Jesse St. James, she had figured out that he was a violent, drug addicted, piece of trash. There were a number of people in the city that could of had a reason to want him dead. Detective Holly Reid had her work cut out for her, that was for sure.
"Rachel, you're free to go. Sorry to have kept you for so long", she said, standing from her chair.
Rachel nodded politely, stood up, and followed the detective out of the room. Down the hall, she was met with the very concerned faces of Quinn, Puck, and Santana.
"Finally", breathed Quinn, and they hurried to each other. Quinn embraced Rachel, and held her tight.
"What the Hell, lady cop", asked Puck.
"Excuse me", asked Holly.
"You said you wanted to ask her a few questions, not keep her in there half the damn day", said Puck, not letting up on his attitude.
"Don't be like that, kid. She's free to go, no more questions, alright?"
Puck just rolled his eyes, as Holly walked away.
"I tried to get in there Rach, but since I'm just a student...they said I couldn't. I'm sorry", said Santana.
"It's okay, can we just get the Hell out of here, please", begged the shorter girl, still resting in Quinn's arms.
"Yeah, come on...let's go", said Quinn.
As the four of them walked outside onto the busy streets, Puck stood there shaking his head.
"What are you thinking about, Noah", asked Rachel.
"It's just...you'd think after like three weeks...they wouldn't need to question you. That's really dumb."
"It does seem a little weird that it took them that long to figure out that Rachel might have done it", said Quinn.
"No, that's normal. They had to watch her for a while, see if she did anything out of the ordinary", said Santana."They always do shit like that. Just be lucky you're not a minor, Rach. They would of had to call your Dads."
They all started walking down the street, Rachel's hand wound tightly with Quinn's.
"I think it was kind of fucked on Aly's part to like...you know...do the deed, than split. She only made it easier for the cops to think it was Rachel", said Puck.
"No, don't say that, Puck", warned Quinn.
"Why not?"
"Cause'...we talked to her. She said if anything bad happened like me getting arrested...she would have come back here and confessed, no questions asked", said Rachel.
"Really", asked Puck.
"Really."
"Wow, alright, I take back what I said."
The four of them ended up back at Puck, Rachel and Jonah's place. They all sat on the rooftop, an awkward cloud of silence hanging over them. Fifteen minutes of nothing but the sounds of the city down below, until Quinn spoke up.
"Tomorrow is Halloween...".
"Oh yeah...that's right. Wow, that came fast...", said Santana.
"I dunno'...something tells me the party won't be the same...without...", but he couldn't even finished his sentence.
"She wanted to go as an angel this year...", said Rachel, quietly.
"Fucking Price Family...", mumbled Puck.
"Um...what did Alyson say about that when you talked to her", asked Quinn, looking at Santana.
"That she's been over to their house like eight times, and they refuse to let her inside. She tried breaking in one night, because she didn't think anyone was home. But, the older sister, Nessa...she was home, and threatened to call the police if she showed up one more time. God knows that's the last thing she needs at this point", said Santana, shaking her head.
"My mom has even tried going over there once", said Rachel."Mrs. Price told her that Jade was too sick to have any visitors, but not to worry because they were taking good care of her."
"Bullshit", spat Puck.
"Maybe they'll let her come back soon", said Quinn, not really even believing it herself.
"Baby mama, it's been almost a month, you really think they'll have any issue with keeping longer", asked Puck, angrily.
"Don't get pissy with me, I was just...".
"Just what? Trying to give us false hope?"
"Puckerman...chill the Hell out", snapped Santana.
Puck just sat there, staring down at the street below.
Quinn could feel Rachel's body shaking against hers, and realized she had started to cry.
"Alright...come on, let's go make you some tea", she said, pulling her up. As the two of them headed inside, Santana stood up as well.
"We all miss her just as much as you do, Puck. There is no reason for you to be such a dick."
"I know, I'm sorry", he said."I'm not trying to be an ass, or seem ungrateful to any of you. I know I have friends, I know that...it's just...I feel really alone without her. She's...my sister", he said, sadly."This fucking sucks...so bad!"
"Why don't you just stay up here for a little while, and cool down, alright? We'll talk about this later, when you're aren't so pissed off", said the Latina, and she walked away.
It was the truth, Puck did feel like a jerk. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate Rachel, Jonah, and all the other friends he had in his life. However, being without Jade made him feel lonely. Being on the rooftop wasn't making it any easier. It had been where him and the darker girl had some of their best conversations. Even a conversation about the exact feeling he was feeling at that moment.
It was late on a Monday night. Puck had grabbed his guitar, Jade her electric keyboard, and they went up to the roof to jam. Jonah wasn't around, and Rachel hadn't moved in yet, so they weren't missed in their apartment below. After they had played a few songs together, Jade got really sad out of nowhere.
"What's wrong, my chocolate covered melody?"
Jade smiled a little at his choice of nickname, and shook her head.
"Really...what's up?"
"Nothing."
"No, it's something."
"Yeah...but I can't tell you...it might make you feel bad."
"Try me", said Puck, with a comforting smile.
"Okay...well, I feel...kinda'...lonely...", she mumbled.
"Why? I'm right here", said Puck, confusion masking his tone.
"See, that's why I didn't wanna' say anything."
"Well, no no, just...explain it to me."
"That's just it...I don't think I can make any sense of it for you. Hell, it doesn't even make much sense to me."
"Again...try me."
"I think I'm starting to realize that it's possible to feel an emotion when you know damn well that you shouldn't. Like feeling sadness, when you're surrounded by things that make you happy. Or, getting angry at situations that are out of your control. So...it seems like feeling lonely when your with a friend...is entirely possible."
"I get that."
"Really", asked Jade, in disbelief.
"Yeah...I felt like that all the time back in school. I had friends, but for a while...I still felt kind of alone. It's probably just part of life", said Puck, confidently.
"Like, one of those parts of life we're not really meant to understand", asked Jade.
"Exactly", he answered, with a smile. Jade smiled back, and nodded her head.
"Feel better now?"
"I will...once we sing something...and I have the perfect song", said Jade, contently.
Once she started playing her keyboard, Puck knew what song it was, and he smiled and got set to play his guitar.
Jade-
Hello, hello
anybody out there?
'cause I don't hear a sound
alone, alone
I don't really know where the world is but I miss it now..
I'm out on the edge and I'm screaming my name
like a fool at the top of my lungs
sometimes when I close my eyes I pretend I'm alright
but it's never enough
cause my echo, echo
is the only voice coming back
my shadow, shadow
is the only friend that I have.
Puck-
listen, listen
I would take a whisper if
that's all you have to give
but it isn't, isn't
you could come and save me
try to chase it crazy right out of my head...
Puck & Jade-
I'm out on the edge and I'm screaming my name
like a fool at the top of my lungs
sometimes when I close my eyes I pretend I'm alright
but it's never enough
cause my echo, echo
is the only voice coming back
my shadow, shadow
is the only friend that I have
Puck-
I don't wanna be down and
I just wanna feel alive and
get to see your face again but 'til then
Just my echo, my shadow
you're my only friend...
Puck & Jade-
I'm out on the edge and I'm screaming my name
like a fool at the top of my lungs
sometimes when I close my eyes I pretend I'm alright
but it's never enough
cause my echo, echo
oh my shadow, shadow...
Puck-
Hello, hello
anybody out there?
When they finished, they smiled at each other, and Jade's phone started ringing. She looked at it, and her eyes grew wide.
"Who is it", asked Puck.
"It's Rachel...".
Back on the rooftop, Puck had tears rolling down his face. He hated crying. He didn't like how it felt, he didn't like that he was capable of doing it. However, he was glad that nobody was around to see him do it.
Later that night, Quinn and Santana had taken Rachel back to their place for the night. They figured Puck's mood would only further bring her down. Aside from that, Jonah had come back home with Mercedes, so they figured if Puck needed to talk about anything, those two would be there for him. They always were. Jonah, being Jade's actual brother was having an even rougher time than the rest of them, and would be able to relate with Puck on the matter. After being home for an hour, Brittany came back from work, looking tired as ever. The girls were sitting in the living room watching TV when she came in. She greeted all of them with hugs, and kisses, and cuddled herself into Santana's body.
"What happened with the police, Rachey?"
"Lots of questions, but they let me go. I'm in the clear", breathed Rachel.
"That's good, I'm so happy."
"We all are, Britts", said Santana, smiling down at her.
Quinn was looking at them out of the corner of her eye. She was a little annoyed. They hadn't started dating as far as anyone knew, but they were sure as Hell acting like it. The shorter of the two blond's wanted so badly to say something to Santana. Something to the effect of her not waiting long enough for Jade to come back, before jumping back into it with Brittany so quickly. However, she held her tongue. She refused to bring anymore drama than needed to the group. They were already dealing with so much, and probably much more to come. Quinn cut her own thoughts short, as she glanced down at Rachel. She was fighting to keep her eyes open.
"Okay...come on, you need to get some sleep, baby", she said, rubbing Rachel's back.
Without even arguing, Rachel was slowly pushing herself up from Quinn's lap.
"Night Night, love you guys", said Brittany.
"Love you too", mumbled Rachel, as her and Quinn walked hand in hand down the hallway.
"What about you, San? Wanna' go to bed?"
"Yeah. You gonna' sleep out here, or in my room with me?"
"Umm...can I sleep in your room, please", asked Brittany, shyly.
Santana agreed, and had thought nothing of it until twenty minutes later, when Brittany was laying on top of her, in her bed. They had both brushed their teeth, changed into they pajamas, and ended up in a very familiar position. Only, neither of them had really known how it had happened. They hadn't really touched each other yet, but if anyone had seen the way they were laying, it would have been very easy to assume they had bedtime activities planned.
"What are you thinking about...", asked Brittany, softly.
"Her...".
"Me too."
"I really hope...she's not getting worse."
"San...what if he's there too...and hurting her?"
"Don't ask the what if questions Britts...they're dangerous, trust me."
"I'm scared...I really really miss her a lot."
"We all do."
"No, you don't get it Santana...I didn't tell you this, because...I didn't want you to get mad at me, but...I have to tell you."
Santana just looked, calmly up at the blond.
"I fell for her...I love her the same way I...still love you", said Brittany, a few tears escaping her eyes.
Santana smiled, warmly.
"I knew that."
"You did?"
"Yeah...it was easy to tell, and it doesn't make me mad, strangely enough."
"How does it make you feel?"
"I dunno'...I wish I did, but I don't", answered the Latina, calmly.
"What if...she doesn't come back", asked Brittany.
Without answering, Santana leaned up, and connected her lips with Brittany's. The kiss started off slow, and uneasy, but within' seconds, their tongues were fighting for dominance. Brittany won, as she used one hand to hold Santana's, and the other to reach up her shirt.
"Oh my god...", moaned, Santana. She felt alive all of the sudden. She loved being with Jade, but because of her history with abuse, they hadn't gone any farther than kissing. The Latina melted under Brittany's touches, and hadn't realized just how much she had missed her hands, roaming freely around her body.
"Yeah...", she moaned, when she felt soft fingers, rubbing her hard nipple. Brittany lowered her head, and started kissing and sucking at Santana's neck, and jaw.
"God...I missed this...", she breathed. She could feel the blond smile against her neck. She reached both hands down, grabbed onto her ass, and squeezed.
"Mmmmm...somebody hasn't lost their touch", whispered Brittany.
"Never...".
"Are you wet", whispered Brittany.
"What do you think?"
Without anymore questions, Brittany slowly pushed her hand into Santana's sleep shorts. She wasn't even surprised to find that she didn't have any panties on. She started rubbing her clit, and moaned when Santana's hips bucked up into hers.
"Oh God...", she moaned."Mmmmmmm."
"How bad do you want it, San...".
"Oh God...please...please...", she moaned, her hips jolting up once again.
Brittany smiled, and continued to rub. She lifted Santana's shirt with her other hand, and lowered her head. As she took one nipple into her mouth, she pushed two fingers into her, and started pumping hard. Santana's moans were non stop, as Brittany's pumping got faster and harder. Neither of them knew how much time had passed, but it must have been a lot, because they were both so tired. Brittany's hand was started to get sore, and shaky.
"Holy...shit...please...don't..s-stop...", she begged, digging her nails into Brittany's back.
"Not until you cum for me San...".
Hearing that from the blond, was enough.
"Mmmm...Oh yeah...I'm...almost the-...".
Santana's back arched off the mattress, and her entire body started to shake. She moaned, and moved her hips slightly until the wave of pleasure was gone. The two of them kissed for a few minutes, before Brittany rolled off of Santana. They laid there, in silence, unsure of what they were supposed to do next. Santana's mind wouldn't stop.
It shouldn't be this awkward...not with her.
"Oh no...", Brittany cried."San...we...just...you cheated on her."
"I told you those what if questions were dangerous...".
How can this feel so wrong but so right...?
Meanwhile, in Quinn's room, her and Rach were snuggled together. She was hoping her tiny girlfriend would fall asleep as soon as they were in bed, but it didn't happen. Rachel was restless, shifting around, and kicking her feet.
"Hey...", Quinn whispered."Relax...". She kissed her softly on the cheek. Rachel turned over, so she was facing Quinn.
"Doctor Andrews called again, today. I had a voice mail from her when we got back from the police station."
"Yeah?"
"She was calling to apologize once again...".
"In all fairness, she didn't know what would happen if she talked to that family", said Quinn.
"I know, I'm starting to accept that. I'm not as pissed off at her as I was before. I know she means well, she always has", admitted Rachel."I just wish there was somebody to blame."
"There is."
"Mika doesn't count."
"How do you figure", asked Quinn, in shock.
"She's sick. Mindy would have called them either way...and either way, they would have gotten her back home one way or another. Mika's everywhere Jade is...notice how we haven't seen him since he took her back."
Quinn didn't entirely agree with Rachel, but she nodded her head.
"It's hard to cry anymore, Quinn. I miss her so damn much, and I need her...but, no matter how much I cry, it won't bring her back, will it?"
"No", answered Quinn, sadly."...but you can pray."
"I do pray. Everyday, all day I'm praying for God to keep her safe, and bring her back."
"Keep praying...it's what I do", said Quinn, with a smile.
"Maybe God's mad at me...I've been asking him for a lot lately it seems."
"God isn't mad at you, Rach. When you pray, you always get an answer, even if you don't always see it. Unfortunately, sometimes the answer you get isn't the one that you want. It sucks, but it's how he works."
"Yeah, I guess."
"What else have you been asking him for?"
"To help me understand what I'm feeling about Jesse."
"Finally", breathed Quinn."It's been almost a month...I was wondering when you'd be ready to talk about this. I just...didn't wanna' push you."
"I wasn't really sure about this until today, but...I know now...I'm happy that he's dead", said Rachel, breaking into tears."I know that makes me a horrible person, I know that...but I can't help it. He was never gonna' stop...even if it wasn't me or Sunshine, it would have been another girl, and another after that until one of them had the heart and mind to turn him in. He was a monster deep down inside...and the drugs just brought all the hate, and ignorance to the surface...".
Quinn tightened her hold on Rachel, and rested her forehead on hers.
"Quinn...I really did love him, I swear to God I did, but every single time he slapped me, or punched me, or kicked me...I just wished he would die. At first, when you told me he was dead...I didn't know what the Hell I was supposed to feel...but now I know. I'm happy because he can't hurt me anymore...and he can't hurt anybody else anymore. I can't help but think that...him being killed was the only way he was ever going to stop...".
"That doesn't make you a horrible person, baby...trust me it doesn't. I feel the same way...but you're right. He was never gonna' stop. Think about it Rachel, did you pray for God to help you when he was hurting you?"
Rachel nodded.
"That prayer was answered with Jade, and Puck. Did you pray for Sunshine, once you found out she married him?"
Rachel nodded again.
"That prayer was answered with you. Did you pray for help after he broke your wrist?"
She nodded once more.
"You're prayer was answered with God deciding it was Jesse's time. It's not your fault, and the fact that you feel happy...isn't really such a horrible thing.
Rachel let Quinn wipe some of her tears away, before she leaned forward and kissed her softly on the lips.
"I love you so much, Quinn Fabray."
"And I love you Rachel...so much more."
They laid there in each others arms for a few more minutes, kissing, and loving each other.
"Sing a lullaby, Rach...", said Quinn, tiredly.
Rachel smiled, and thought for a minute. Once she had thought of a song, she shifted onto her back, and Quinn nuzzled her face into her neck.
Rachel-
I need some sleep,
It can't go on like this.
I tried counting sheep,
But there's one I always miss.
Everyone says I'm getting down too low,
Everyone says you just gotta let it go.
You just gotta let it go,
You just gotta let it go...
I need some sleep,
Time to put the old horse down.
I'm in too deep,
And the wheels keep spinning 'round.
Everyone says I'm getting' down too low,
Everyone says you just gotta let it go.
You just gotta let it go,
You just gotta let it go...
You just gotta let it go.
The next morning, Quinn woke up to somebody knocking on the door. She waited just a minute, hoping Santana would hear, and get up to answer it. Who was she kidding. She decided to get up and answer it, not wanting the noise to wake Rachel up. As she stumbled out of her bed, and out into the apartment, she looked at the clock on the cable box.
God...only one person would be ridiculous enough to stop by at seven in the damn morning...
"Noah Puckerman...I swear you are so dead...", she said, as she opened the door. Only it wasn't Puck standing there. It was Judy Fabray.
"Surprise, Quinny!"
Songs:
Echo- By: Jason Walker/ Puck & Jade
I Need Some Sleep- By: Eels/ Rachel
Thank you so much for reading, I hope you liked the update. I know it's a little weird that I pushed it like 3 or 4 weeks after Jesse got shot and Jade got taken back to Lima, but I just felt like it needed to be done. Time needed to move faster in this story. Please review. *highfives*