DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN THE AKATSUKI IN ANY WAY; ALL RIGHTS OF NARUTO CHARACTERS GO TO MASASHI KISHIMOTO! ONLY THE STORY BELONGS TO ME AND ME ONLY!

Konan: Sweetie we all know that already. You've been saying it for the past six chapters.

Me: Shut up! I don't wanna get sued!

Bold typing= black side of Zetsu (when he's speaking or POV-ing)

Normal typing= white side of Zetsu (when he's speaking or POV-ing)

WARNING: contains the potty mouth of a bad Hidan and Yukiko, and some minor perverted things… just saying…

Akiko POV

I strolled into Aoi's room to find her and Deidara sleeping. They looked like a pair of little kids, brother and sister. I shook Aoi awake and she opened her eyes slowly. She sat up and rubbed at her eyes looking yet again like a little kid.

"What do you need Aki-chan?" she mumbled as she attempted to put on her glasses. I grabbed her glasses from her hands and placed them on her face. She stared at me expressionless but tired.

"It's time for me to go to work." I responded, "I woke you up now because I needed to say bye. So… bye, see you later. I come back at 6PM today." Aoi nodded and I left the room. Aoi was my last stop before I headed to work. Yukiko and Momo were already awake and dressed. Yukiko worked as a CIA agent and artist. Momo worked at a therapist and Hana worked as a part-time box stacker and artist. I on the other hand worked at a hospital as a doctor. Aoi worked as an author and artist, two stay at home jobs. Aoi rarely went out of the premises but when she did, it was to buy art supplies, meet with her editor or talk to an art dealer. Sometimes I took her shopping with me and she always ended up sleeping in the car.

I got in my car and drove away heading to work. I wonder what Hana and Aoi are going to do today. They should be fine even though the Akatsuki is there. As much as I want to tell Aoi what Itachi did, I can't because it's for her own good and the mentality of others. Hopefully they won't blow up the house while I'm gone or kill each other. Hana's there so she'll probably keep order… no who am I kidding she'll help with the destruction!

Aoi POV

I noticed Deidara was in my bed still sound asleep. When did he- oh yeah he slept there last night! I shrugged my shoulder and grabbed my towel and clothes. After taking a quick shower and getting dressed, I grabbed my cellphone and headed downstairs. As I neared the stairs, something jumped me. I fell to the floor face first and looked back to see Tobi. I struggled out of his hug and stood up.

"Good morning Aoi-Chan!" Tobi squealed still sitting on the ground. I lifted my foot and kicked him straight in the face. The sound of my foot connecting with his face was deafening.

"Oi, why you kick him brat?" Sasori questioned as he walked up the stairs. I stared at him with a blank expression.

"He jumped me." I replied in monotone. Sasori shook his head and sighed. He mumbled something under his breath that sounded a lot like 'anger issues'. Next, Itachi and Zetsu came walking down the hallway looking at Tobi who was still on the floor. Tobi laid on the floor looking like a discomposed doll but being the moron he is he moved. Suddenly, my stomach grumbled and everyone fell silent. I turned to face the stairway and walked down at a rather fast pace. I marched into the kitchen and searched inside the fridge. I heard footsteps coming near the cabinet and dove inside a cabinet under the sink.

"What the fuck? Wasn't the bitch in the kitchen a moment ago?" Hidan screeched, "I'm fucking hungry!" I heard more footsteps come inside the kitchen.

"Let's search for her so she can make us breakfast. Or she can become breakfast!" Zetsu stated. I heard grunts of agreement and multiple footsteps were heard. I stayed silent and adjusted myself so I was comfortable in my spot. O heard the sound the sound of a crunch as I moved my hand. I held my breath as I heard footsteps stop right in front of my hiding spot. The little door swung open letting light pour into my hiding spot. Itachi stood at the door peering down at me.

Itachi POV

I heard the sound of a crunch coming from a cabinet under the sink. I neared the sink and pulled open the cabinet door. Aoi sat there staring up at me expressionless. I gave the same expression and stared at her. This idiot is just trying to irritate me again isn't she? The girl swung her legs out of the cabinet and crawled out. I backed away as she did this and stood near the door leading to the living room. She got up off the floor and stared at me.

"If you have something to say then say it!" I demanded.

"You found me by a careless mistake so don't count yourself as special." She responded to my demands. This girl really irritates me! I back away out of the room only to bump into Kisame.

"Itachi be careful where you walk." Kisame said with care as I turned to face him. I nodded and tried to hide the annoyed expression I had.

"Are you annoyed because I was in your way?" Kisame questioned innocently. I shook my head and glanced to the kitchen. Kisame took the hint and peered through the kitchen door.

Kisame POV

I peered through the kitchen door and saw Aoi staring at me. Her expression was spaced out and blank.

"You're annoyed because of this kiddo?" I questioned as I turned back to Itachi. He nodded and took a seat on the couch. I sighed and entered the kitchen. Even though in passed past the door Aoi kept staring at it blankly. I went in front of Aoi and waved my hand in front of her face. No reaction came from her. This one is a weird one…. I placed my hands in front of her face and clapped as loud as I could. This seemed to have done the trick because she blinked a few times and stared at me confused.

"Why did you do that?" she questioned in her childish tone. I chuckled and patted her head.

"You were spaced out kiddo." I answered as I patted her head once again. She seems to resemble a cat or some type of small animal…

"I was? Oh I didn't even no-" She mumbled.

"Bitch, make me fucking breakfast!" Hidan yelled interrupting her.

"I blame you of the house turns on fire!" she threatened as she glared at the albino. Hidan smirked and burst out laughing.

"So you can't even fucking cook!" Hidan screamed back at her. I saw her grab something from inside a drawer and take it out. A fork? She grabbed the fork and threw straight for Hidan's face. Hidan didn't seem to be expecting this because the fork got lodge in his forehead knocking him back. How hard did this girl throw the fork? Suddenly, Hidan pounced off the ground and jumped towards the girl. Everything seemed to go in slow motion as Hidan jumped passed me. Aoi on the other hand ducked and dove under the table in those few seconds she had before Hidan hit the floor.

Hidan crashed into the floor where Aoi once stood. His gazed went to under the table and he spotted Aoi. The albino flipped over and crawled over to the table. He grabbed Aoi's leg and yanked. I watched amused as Hidan pulled her out from under the table. Her reaction to this was to kick him in the face. Her foot connected with Hidan's jaw.

"What the fuck bitch?" Hidan shouted as his head snapped back, "Imma fucking sacrifice you to fucking Jashin-sama!" He let go of Aoi's foot and she took this chance to stand up. After standing up she glanced around her and turned to face me. I gave her a questionable look as she ran behind me.

"Fishy-san, Hidan's gonna kill me so you kill him first." She told me as she grabbed my cloak. I gave her a 'wtf' face before turning to face Hidan. Hidan got up of the floor; blood trickled down his face where the fork once was. How far in did the fork even go? Hidan launched himself for me but I stopped him by putting my hand in front of me.

"Move the fuck out of the fucking way!" he yelled loudly in a demanding tone. I shook my head in response and heard a barely audible 'yay' from behind me. Hidan threw a tantrum now in front of me. Aoi stepped from behind me still holding onto my cloak and glanced at Hidan. She had this amused look on her face that said 'wow this is happening in front of me'. Pein appeared in the kitchen looking rather distraught. I would have the same look on my face if I were him…

Aoi POV

"Aoi come here." Pein commanded after a few moments of staring at the crazy Jashinist on the floor. I let go of Kisame's cloak and rushed over to Pein. I looked at him questionably and he sighed.

"Did you have anything to do with this?" Pein motioned to Hidan who had foam coming from his mouth now. I laughed and nodded. Pein gave me a thumbs up and a creepy grin. I took a step back and bumped into somebody. I turned around and saw Konan. She smiled and gave me a thumbs up, her smile also looked creepy. I laughed at how creepy their smiles were.

"Can you make us breakfast honey?" questioned Konan in a kind motherly tone as she patted my head. Why does everyone do that? I nodded and directed them all out of the kitchen. Kisame dragged Hidan out of the kitchen by his leg and Kakuzu who randomly appeared cleaned up the mess the Jashinist made. I was left all alone in the kitchen to cook for twelve people. I think we have enough waffles…. I checked inside the fridge and saw we were all out of waffles. The largest amount of people I ever cooked for is five. How the hell am I gonna cook for twelve? I sighed and rubbed my head. I could make eggs and pancakes… and serve them on plastic plates! I quickly got out the plastic plates, eggs, pancake mix and everything else I needed. The pan was the last thing I needed but it was up high on a cabinet. Stupid Yukiko… being freakishly tall… putting the pan all the way up their! I put a chair under the cabinet the pan was on a stood up on it. I stood on my tippy toes and reached my hands as high as possible but I still couldn't reach it.

I grumbled and put the chair where it was. Next, I walked into the living room.

"Is breakfast fucking ready?" shouted Hidan as he spotted me. I shook my head in response.

"Can one of you help me reach the pan?" I questioned. Kakuzu sighed and followed me into the kitchen.

"Where is it?" he questioned. I pointed up to the pan and watched as a black thread brought it down to me. I thanked him and pushed him out of the kitchen. I turned the stove on and placed the pan on top. After it warmed up, I sprayed it with nonstick oil for making the pancakes. About half an hour later, I had all the pancakes and eggs done. They were all placed on a large tray, which I took into the dining room. The akatsuki followed me and a sleepy Hana stepped into the dining room and took a seat. I raced back to the kitchen and grabbed a pack of plastic cups, spoons and forks. I also grabbed juice and milk and ran back to the dining room. Quickly I placed the everything on the table and turned to leave.

"You're not gonna eat with us Aoi-chan?" Tobi questioned. I shook my head and exited. I know there's something I'm forgetting but what is it? I took a seat on the staircase and closed my eyes to think. I felt a presence appear next to me.

"Aoi I don't mean to bother you but… I can't eat this shit! I need some fucking meat! You don't need to say it like that!" Zetsu argued with himself. I got up and got him a piece of frozen meat from the fridge.

"Is this okay? I don't have anything fresh." I handed him the piece of meat. The carnivore examined the meat and took it into his mouth. I watched him devour the meat as if it were a very tasty candy.

"Thank you." Both sides of Zetsu thanked me and sunk down into the floor. I took my seat again on the staircase only to have another presence behind me yet again. I turned around annoyed and saw Sasori.

"What?" I questioned the puppet.

"What do we do with the plates?" He questioned raising an eyebrow for some reason.

"Trash." I answered and pointed to the kitchen. The red head nodded and left to tell the others. After everyone threw away their plates, they came to bother me. Everyone surrounded me looking concerned.

"Honey why didn't you eat breakfast?" Konan questioned with concern in her voice.

"I think I'm forgetting something so I'm too distracted to eat right now." I answered truthfully.

"Too bad bitch we already ate the whole fucking thing!" Shouted Hidan from my left. Konan gave him a shocked look as did Pein.

"I told you to save her some breakfast." Pein growled. Hidan shrugged his shoulders and smirked. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Everyone grew silent and looked at me.

"Go to the living room, I'll answer the door." I commanded. Everyone rushed over to the living room as I neared the door. I heard the same knock again but only slightly louder as the person pounded on the door. I opened the door and saw none other than my editor. My editor is called Sachiko Yamamoto. She's twenty-two years old and has brown hair that goes pass her shoulders. She has green-brown cat eyes and where her hair fixed when she wants to. The expression on her face now wasn't pleasant rather it was angry.

"Hello Aoi," she said with venom in her voice," I want the pages to the book already and I want you to finish it fast!" I grimaced at the sound of her voice and finally realized this is what I needed to remember.

"Oh, I already have it done." I answered in a calm tone, "I had it done since two days ago!" Sachiko looked rather angry for a moment but then she put on a creepy smile on her face.

"Okay then, I want to see the book; I have to turn it in." She replied in yet again another deadly tone. I gulped and invited her in the house.

"Who's at the fucking door bitch?" Shouted Hidan from the living room. I sighed and shook my head.

"Go to the living room and please don't scream. I'm going to go get it now." I told her. This is gonna end up as a big mess, I just now it…

Sachiko POV

What the fuck does she mean by that? I walked into the living room but stopped as soon as I was the most unbelievable thing in the world. I felt my jaw drop as I took in the sight of the akatsuki.

"What the fuck?" I shouted pointing at them. They all faced-palm and stared at me. I took a step back and bumped into something. I turned back to see Hidan. Millions of thoughts raced through my head as he tossed me to Kisame who sat me on a couch.

"Konan! Serve her some juice and cookies!" Aoi shouted from the floor above us.

"Where are they?" Konan shouted back.

"In the kitchen, duh!" I fought the urge to facepalm.

"No, I mean where in the kitchen?" Konan shouted back amused.

"I don't know, ask Hana!" Was her response. Hana and Konan got up and came back a few minutes later with some juice and cookies. They handed it to me. I stared down at the juice and glanced around the room. All eyes were on me. I lifted up the cup to take a sip.

"Drink the fucking juice already bitch!" shouted Hidan. I gave him an 'I already know' look and drank my juice. Next, I ate the cookies and Hana took the empty plate and cup back. Aoi came up to me and handed me the papers inside a big envelope. I got up and stared at Aoi. SO many questions I need to ask but-

"Thanks and next time try to give it to me earlier." I simply stated to her. She grabbed my hand and tugged me until I was outside. She shut the door behind her rather fast. That was strange but at least I got my book.

Aoi POV

"You guys didn't do anything stupid did you?" I asked staring at Hidan.

"What the fuck bitch? Why do you fucking look at me? Do I look like I'll do something stupid?" Hidan questioned. I nodded and everyone burst into a fit of laughter. I laughed along with them and Hidan yelled at us all to shut up but we just kept laughing. Suddenly, my rock ringtone sounded off. Everyone paused wondering where the noise came from. I reached into my pocket and answered. It was…

Any guesses on who it was. Well, that's all I have for now… Felt too lazy and tired to continue but I managed to make this much in only two days.