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Chapter Five: I Just Wanna Live

The next day in no way matched Draco's mood. It was a clear blue sky, with the sun streaming through the closed curtains. It was around midday when he woke up, and everyone was outside basking in the sunshine- in January. He groaned, rubbing his eyes as he clambered out of bed and looked outside. He scanned the view from his window, leaning his head against the glass pane. He spotted Potter, Weasley and Granger immediately, sitting by a tree together. His eyesight wasn't perfect, and the harsh light made him squint, but there was something about that image of the Golden Trio- maybe Harry's distinctly uncomfortable look on his face-

Oh.

That was why.

As Draco pressed his face against the window further. Even the fatigue sweeping over him couldn't stop the shock that was settling on his face.

Granger and Weasley.

That's why she didn't want to kiss me, he thought. He felt faint, dozens of thoughts were buzzing through his head as he watched in thinly veiled horror as the couple kissed fondly. A large part of him didn't care. Another part of him was angry, because now it was harder for him to get to her. And there was another part to it... something he couldn't quite place... jealousy, maybe?

No. It couldn't be- the Malfoy's didn't get jealous.

He stared at the angry red mark on his forearm, where the Unbreakable Vow was made.

It made him think about the gravity of the situation. What scared him the most was the fact that he didn't know how long he had. Most lasted about six months, but Blaise never specified. It could be tomorrow. It could be years.

Tears slipped down his face. It was hopeless. Nothing he could do would be able to change the fact that Hermione Granger hated him, and he made her hate him. He did this.

And he would make himself pay for it.