Chapter 3

"Oh for fuck sakes." I said to myself as I glared at the row after row of motorcycles that were lined down the street from my grandmother's house.

All the usual parking spaces were taken, and I knew whose cars they all belong to as well. My family.

My whole extended family to be precise.

So much for a 'small family dinner', I should have known.

"Cassandra! Get your sister before she falls and breaks another leg!" I heard my cousin Paula scream from the house.

A thick layer of bbq smoke was coming from my grandmother's backyard. It smelled delicious and my mouth instantly started to water.

"Paula come get your daughter. Im not carrying her to hospital again if she falls from that tree." I instantly recognized my cousin, Raul's voice. He was yelling from the other side of the fence door and from the sound of it he was drunk. And it wasn't even 7pm yet. Great.

I kept on walking down the sidewalk, slowly.

Slower than what I had already been walking. I was trying to stall as much as I possibly could. Family dinners werent exactly what you called fun, at least when it came to my own family. Theres always some type of fight between my relatives. And also, the always present glares and backhanded comments from my grandmother which were always very enjoyable. Not.

And not to mention being forced to make conversation and have dinner with the person I hated the most. Tio Marcus.

I hated every fucking minute of family dinners.

Actually no, that's not true... to be fair I loved catching up with my cousins. Not all of my relatives were demon spawns. I loved spending time with my cousins and joking around. Talking and acting as if we were still children, at least when Tio Marcus wasn't around anyway or my grandmother for that matter... We drank and were loud but when he shows up, the air complete changes. God, I fucking hated him. I hated that everyone was always so careful of what they said and did when he was present. I hated that they couldn't be themselves, including myself.

And I especially hated that his 'motorcycle club' was always with him. Protecting him, protecting this family. Always on the "look out".

Ugh.

It made me uneasy. You would think I would have gotten used to it after all these years but I hadn't. I mean, I guess a part of me had but a huge part of me was always on edge. I was always waiting for something bad to happen, again.

Loud music and sound of children laughing was echoing down the block. And the source was coming directly from my grandmother's house. I could hear obnoxious laughter and conversations going on about. It sounded more like a party than a 'family dinner'. I dont't even know why I was surprised when I saw all the motorcycles and cars. I should have expected this. My family tended to be loud and big. And a packaged deal.

You wanted one but you get all.

I was going to kill Maria for lying to me…

I mean, I didn't mind being surrounded by people. I loved it actually. I loved that my family liked to get together just to hang out and have dinner but not when that included Tio Marcus and his murderous 'friends'.

"Juliet?" An all too familiar voice snapped my attention to the front of my grandmother's house. "Is that you?"

My eyes instantly landed on Armando, my godfather's VP.

I stopped walking out of reflex. My legs wanted to turn the opposite directions and walk all the way back home again. More like run actually.

But, of course, I didn't. I stayed in place and I forced a smile.

"Yeah, it's me." It took me a second to finally move my legs. I so desperately didn't want to have this little exchange.

I walked up the pathway where Armando now stood; he had a big smile on his face and was looking at me up and down. Clearly checking me out, like always. I guess things never do change around here.

I spotted two burly guys I didn't recognize, standing on the front porch of the house, looking at me curiously and then back at the street. They were wearing Mayan cuts. I forced myself not to roll my eyes. Prospects by the look of it

"God damn girl. I haven't seen you in years."

"Yeah." I gave him a small smile as he threw his arms around me and lifted me off the ground as if I was still a teenager in high school. "How you been, Armando?" I couldn't help but giggle when he touched my waist. It was my tickle spot and he knew it. I took a giant step back from him as soon as he set me down.

"Oh you know. Same shit." He crossed his arms and looked at me playfully. " Marcus told me you had been back in town but I wasn't sure you were showing up tonight."

"Really? Why?"

"I haven't really seen you around the family since you got back. You've missed the last few family BBQs."

I fought the urge to tell him that this wasn't his family. They were mine. Not his.

And then he added, "Or do you have a boyfriend we don't know about."

"Ive just been really busy. Working has kept me away. You know, a girl has to pay the bills."

"Right. Where do you work anyway?" He asked quickly. "Marcus told me you wont even tell him where you're working at? You graduated with an English Lit degree, right? What are you doing with that?"

"Wow, I'm not even in the house yet and im already being interrogated. Fun." I joked.

"Sorry baby girl, I was just curious. We just missed that pretty face of yours. Oakland wasn't the same when you left. Im glad you're back."

"Yeah, thanks, Armando." I gave him a small smile. He hadn't changed much since I last saw him. The only thing different I noticed was that his hair was longer.

"You know, I called you a few times when you were in NYC." He's green playful eyes became slightly serious. "I was worried about you. Being in a big city, all by yourself-"

"You didn't have to. I was okay." I cut in.

"See, I didn't know that. You never returned any of my calls." His tone was light, but his eyes were showed a hint of resentment. "You left without saying a word. Remember?"

Oh boy.

I looked away embarrassed.

Of course I remembered.

This is exactly what I was avoiding… for, like, 4 years now.

I swallowed and started playing with the strap of my purse.

Right before I left for NYC, I made the horrible mistake of sleeping with Armando. I was drunk. I mean was REALLY drunk and I had a temporary lapse in judgment, like majorly.

My friends had thrown me a going away party, which Armando had been invited, not by me of course but by my girlfriends who happened to be madly in love with him at the time. I couldn't blame them really. The guy was hot, sexy even, if you were into the bad boy thing, that is, which I'm not. Anyway, things got out of hand. I had consumed god knows how many tequila shots when Armando showed up. We hooked up. End of story…at least on my end it was, especially when I woke up the next morning in his bed, naked with a massive hangover and newly deflowered.

Yep, I lost my virginity to him.

I lost my virginity to the 3rd least person I liked in the whole universe.

And I regretted the hell out of it too. If, I could rewind back to that night, I would have totally stayed at home and watched Friends reruns.

But no, here I am, 4 years later, still deflowered, and about to have the most awkward conversation ever.

Shoot me now.

"I should really get inside." I said awkwardly and quickly.

I was going to avoid this convo no matter what. I was already starting to feel my face getting red from the embarrassment.

I started towards the stairs but he placed his hand on my arm to stop me.

"Juliet, stop. We need to talk about what-"

He started but I cut in. "No, we don't."

He looked surprised by my little outburst and the smirked.

"Yeah, we really do baby." He put his hand on my chin and I quickly smacked it away out of reflex.

"Don't, Armando"

If I hadn't been staring at him I would have missed the hurt look in his eyes but he quickly hid it. Or maybe I had just imaged the whole thing.

I started to move towards the door but was stopped by Armando's grip on my wrist once more.

"Juliet, I want to talk about this." He said calmly.

"Do we really? I mean, is it necessary? It was so long ago. Its not a big deal. No harm, no foul." I said desperately.

"Yeah, its necessary."

A roar of laughter exploded from the inside of my grandmother's house.

"This is a really bad time and place, don't you think?"

He looked back at the house and then at me. "Whose fault would that be?"

I narrowed my eyes at him and snatched my wrist back.

"I'll take you home after this. We'll talk then." He said it so casually and in such a commanding tone that it made my blood boil. He was so used to bossing everyone around and getting what he wanted that he thought he could treat me the same way.

"Pfft, yeah that's going to happen." I said sarcastically.

There was no chance in hell I was getting on the back of his bike. I wasn't an idiot. I knew what that meant in this world, and especially to my godfather. And Armando wasnt ignorant to the fact that it was my godfather's wet dream for his VP and his favorite goddaughter to get together and make little 'mayan' babies.

Armando was 7 years older than I and had always expressed interest in me. He was the only Mayan who has ever truly dared to make a move on me. The rest of the MC had always been too scared to hit on me. I don't know what it was. They would flirt with all the girls in my family but never me. I would overhear the occasional comment about my ass that wasn't meant for my ears but they would never actually say it to me face. Its not that im complaining but it was just odd.

Growing up I always had trouble with relationships. The problem was that they hardly ever happened and that was all thanks to my dear old godfather and cousins. Everyone in Oakland knew who I was and if they didn't it was made known by my ever so helpful relatives.

Teenage boys didn't exactly come running to ask me out when I was always surrounded by scary ass guys in a motorcycle gang, at least not my type anyway. The ones that were brave enough to ask me out on a date were interrogated by my cousins and would eventually be scared off. And the ones that they did approve off , I instantly disliked.

It wasn't until I lived in NYC that I finally got to date, the normal way, and I actually have had a couple of decent relationships.

But all of that was beside the point!

Armando and I didn't need to talk about anything because that shit was 4 year old. It called MOVING ON!

Armando gave me a look and said, "You really haven't changed, have you? Still afraid of an little ol' motorcycle."

He taunted me and all I did was glare at him.

It was a running joke among my family about how terrified of motorcycles I am. It wasn't as much that I was scared of them, I hated what they represented for this family.

I never accepted rides from my godfather nor Armando. Especially from Armando, it would mean two completely different things to the both of us. All I would think about is the violence and destruction of the MC. And Armando would have viewed a simple ride as a victory of some kind, a date or something… an Old Lady in the making of the sorts.

I still haven't forgotten what he murmured in my ear as he was taking off my clothes that drunken night.

'I knew it baby. You've meant to be mine. All mine.' He had sounded so confident and sure of his words. It had bothered me then and still bothered me now.

I wasn't his. I was nobody's.

"I'm going inside." I said annoyed.

"We are going to talk Juliet." He said as I walked away from him. "Tonight." He insisted.

"The hell we will." I turned back to look at him. " It was four years ago, Armando. It was a horrible fucking mistake that I will regret for the rest of my life. We were drunk and hooked up, so what! Get over it."

The two guys who were standing on the porch both coughed, as if trying to hide their laughter. Armando glared at them fiercely and the two men instantly stopped their coughing and looked away and back to the street. They looked worried, nervous. They were going to pay for that crack.

Armando slowly looked back at me. He looked incredibly annoyed, he started to talk but I cut him off, which I knew he didn't appreciate.

"Did you tell anyone about what happened between us?"

The question caught him off guard but his expression suddenly became amused.

"Do you mean, does Marcus know?"

I didn't say anything.

"No, he doesn't. I haven't told anyone. At least not yet."

I glanced at the two prospects.

"They wont say anything." He glared at them and grinned back at me. "Ill make sure of it."

I cringed.

The way he said it sounded so sinister and horrible but I nodded anyway. I turned my back to him and climbed the porch steps.

The prospects suddenly walked off.

"Juliet." I stopped and waited.

"Do you really regret it?" Armando asked.

He didn't sound angry anymore... just calm.

I sighed, "Yeah, I do."

I didn't turn to see his reaction. I just walked and entered my grandmother's house. I closed the door behind me immediately and let out a sigh of relief.

"Where the fuck have you been?" A sudden familiar screeching voice brought my attention to the hall and was greeted by my favorite cousin's face.

"Marisol!" I smiled broadly.

"Get over here sweetie pie." She extended her arms out for a hug and I quickly went to her. " I thought you werent coming." She said as she gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"What? I said I was." I said as I stepped back to look at her.

Marisol was a year older than me. She was the only person in this family that I could truly open to. I could say whatever I wanted around her without the fear of my word reaching other ears. She even supported my moving to New York, she understood my much needed escape. She in fact helped me pack my suitcases and drove me to the airport. She would always listen to me and give me advice. She was patient and kind. She reminded me so much of my mother. She even looked a lot like her, unlike me, her only daughter. Marisol was more of a sister than anything else.

"You've been saying that you're coming to Thursday dinners for weeks now and you never show up." She scolded.

"I know and im sorry but at least im here now. Working none stop isn't exactly fun for me. "

"Yeah okay. Im surprised that dingy old bar finally gave you a day off-

"Shh!" I cut in. "Don't say it so loud."

"What?" She grinned. " Are you embarrassed that you work at a tittie bar with-"

"Of course im embarrassed and for the last time its not a tittie bar. I wouldn't stoop that low, at least not yet." I whispered with a smile on my face.

"Stop whispering. No one's here. Everyone is out back." She laughed. " Always so dramatic."

"Bite me." I smirked.

"Maybe when im drunk." She laughed.

"Gross. You really should stop actually biting people when you are drunk. You're going to get sued one of these days."

She rolled her eyes and hooked her arm through mine. "No, im not. People love me too much."

"Yeah, okay little prima."

"Jealous. What's with the hair today?" She ran her fingers through my ponytail. " You hate wearing ponytails."

"Do you really have to ask?" I gave her a look.

"Grandma?"

"Grandma." I sighed.

My grandmother hates me hair. She hates the way I style it. She hates the color of it, she hates the texture, she absolutely loathes every inch of my hair. Maybe because every single person in my family has pitch black straight hair and I have brown wavy curls. Another thing that makes me stand apart from them. So I wear it up and away from my face just to please the old bat. But mainly because I don't want to hear her go on and on about how strongly she dislikes my hair and about how I should go to her beauty parlor so they could fix my disastrous and sinful hair.

"Wow, you really let her get to you." She laughed.

I gasped, "Yeah, you're the one to talk. Miss-hides-her-tattoos-every-time-grandma-is-around."

"That's different."

"Pfft." I rolled my eyes. "In what way?"

"I'm not changing my style just cuz of grandma." She pulled at my ponytail for reference.

I gave her a look and then finally noticed what she was wearing. She was wearing a black long sleeved shirt to hide her the tattoos that she had on her arms, blue jeans to hide her ankle tattoo, and she was wearing a thick ring to hide her tattoo that she had on her index finger, and she had her hair down so she could hide her tattoo that she has right behind her left ear.

Well someone was calling the kettle black.

She was fully covered. The only piece of skin that was visible was her hands and face.

"You realize what you are wearing right?" I pointed at her outfit.

"So?"

"Aren't you a little warm under there? Its 98 degrees out." I smirked. "I haven't seen you wear this much clothes since our baptism."

She sighed but smiled anyway, "I think you just called me a whore but fine, you know how abuela can get. If she finds out that I have a tattoo much less if I have 5-"

"She would disown you and burn off the tattoos with the iron." I finished for her.

"Exactly."

"Well isn't she a bag of sunshine." I said sarcastically. "But seriously though aren't you hot? Im wearing this and im still burning." I pointed at my yellow summer dress. The dress itself was light weight and comfortable but I still felt the heat.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Of course im hot. Its like my internal organs are melting."

I laughed. "Just take off the tshirt. You're going to pass out, you idiot."

"I rather pass out than have abuela-"

Marisol suddenly stopped short and cleared her through by coughing uncontrollably. She was pointing her finger towards the back door discreetly.

"Then to have abuela what?" My grandmother was standing only a few feet from us. Staring daggers at the both of us.

It was like having the devil stare you down. Seriously.

I took a deep breath and placed the biggest fakest smile I could muster.

"Abuela!" I tried my hardest to sound genuinely happy to see her even though she had just scared the living shit out of me. "How are you?"

I went to her and awkwardly kissed her on her wrinkled cheek and immediately stepped back.

She didn't look remotely happy to see me which wasn't surprising.

The feeling was mutual.

But still, I held my smile in place, for the sake of my mother.

I watched the grip on her cane tighten. The skin around her knuckled stretched out into white. She only did this when she was upset.

"How dare you show your face around here after weeks, no, years of being away from this family?" She spat out. "Showing up here like you are still part of this family."

Wow, well that didn't take long.

"Abuela, por favor. Don't do this." Marisol had stopped her coughing and was standing between our grandmother and me. "Lets just have a nice family dinner. Everyone is here. The whole family is back together again."

"Marisol, shut up." My grandmother snapped and Marisol quickly did as she was told.

It made my skin crawl. "Abuela don't talk to Marisol that way. If you're angry then be mad at me. Don't take it out on her."

Marisol gave me a look and then shook her head.

"Are you telling me how to speak in my own home?" She screeched.

"No, of course shes not, abuela. She was just-"

Marisol spoke up but my grandmother gave her a look that told her that if she didn't shut up she was going to get it, just like when we were kids. So, Marisol shut up and looked at me hopelessly.

I was trying so hard to keep my anger under control but this was ridicules. Not even 5 minutes through the front door and I was already getting yelled that.

"I want you to get out of my house. Get out." My grandmother pointed her finger at me and I saw her eyes snap to attention onto my hair. Her nose instantly wrinkled in disgust. "Still with the curls I see. Only whore wear curls."

"Yes, so you've said." I said tiredly. "It was nice to see you, abuela." I turned to Marisol and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Ill see you later."

She gave me a sad look and nodded.

"Oh no you don't. You aren't a part of this family anymore." Grandma yelled as I turned my back to her and started to walk to the front door. "Me olles?"

This whole scenario felt all too familiar. This isn't the first time my grandmother has kicked me out of her home and shouted how I was disowned. It had happened all too frequently in my high school years.

Glad some things never changed.

Crazy bitch.

I had my hand on the door knob when I heard it, "Juliet, stop."

It was like my heart stopped.

No.

I had been so close.

"Madre, vete para tu quarto. Deja a Juliet en paz. Ella es familia a un que no lo quieras. Es sangre." (Translation: Mother, go to your bedroom. Leave Juliet in peace. Shes family even though you don't want it. Shes blood.)

His strong and authoritive voice seemed to echo off the walls and into my bones.

I didn't have to turn around to see who it was.

The room had gone quiet, even the laughter and conversations that had been going on outside seemed to have stopped.

I heard my grandmother murmur curses my way and then walked off. She didn't even bother to fight him. They've had the same time so many time over my place in this family that it had grown old.

"Juliet, come back. You aren't going anywhere." He said.

I was holding so tightly onto the door knob that my hand hurt but I couldn't seem to let go.

Truth be told, I hadn't stopped to think before coming back how hard it was going to be to see him again, to hear his voice. I never once stopped to think about what my reaction would be, what I would say to him, what he would say to me.

But one thing I had always been certain of was… anger. Pure white anger.

The uncontrollable emotion shook every inch of my body.

"Mija." He said.

I so desperately wanted to leave. Every cell in me was screaming for me to get out, to max out all my credit cards, sell my home, and move back to NYC…

I pictured myself back in my old shabby apartment, happy and content with Rambo.

And then in the other hand I pictured myself turning around and punching Marcus across the face over and over again until he died. To do horrible things to him, to make him pay for the pain he has caused my family, my mother, and me.

But instead all I saw was my mother telling me that he was my family. That I should respect him and love him because he was her brother. That they were one in the same which was farthest thing from the truth.

It took years of practice and control for what I was about to do next.

I let my face fall and I let myself feel what I was feeling for a second, and then I became numb.

I let go of the door knob and turned to face Marcus.

He had a smirk on his face. His arms were extended out for a hug and he said, "Welcome home, mija."

I smiled and laughed as I ran into his arms. I hugged him tight and said, "It's good to be home, padrino, I missed you so much."

He kissed my forehead and placed his hands on my either side of my cheeks. "The family is complete again."

I only smiled and nodded.

He grabbed a hold of my hand and pulled me towards the backyard.

I glanced at Marisol as we passed by and she had seldom look in her eye. She knew exactly what I was feeling inside.

She mouthed, 'Be strong'

And the seldom look was gone and was replaced by fake happy smile of her own.

When we entered the backyard, my whole family was there. The people I would die for yet hated.

When they saw me, they all cheered and swept me into their arms and welcomed me back home… and all the while, I was dying inside.

Author's Note: Im sorry for not having Jax in this chapter but I just wanted to introduce some of Juliet's family since they play a huge part in her life. Jax will be ever so present in Chapter 4. I promise. And again please excuse any spelling and grammar errors. Im an idiot who doesn't proof read her work and doesn't have a BETA.

Spanish:

Abuela- grandmother

Prima- cousin (girl)

xoxo