Hey all, sorry that it took me so long to update this. Honestly speaking, I felt like taking a break after that double post on Halloween, those four days were hectic. Anyways I'm back and working again. Also, I'm gonna do a nice After Impact one shot of Shinji and Asuka (Christmas related of course) so look forward to that. I'm probably putting it out on Christmas Eve, and hopefully another chapter of this on the same day.

When was the last time that Shinji had had a dream such as this? For the longest time his dreams had been filled with nothing but bleak futures, bloodshed, and the end of the human race. This dream though, was certainly different. More different in fact then the reality that Shinji was currently living in, and would give almost anything to be living in the dream.

Everything was different. No angels, and most of all...no Evangelion. A world where his mother still existed and a father who cared about him. Was it still Tokyo-3? His dream didn't go to that level of precision. He imagined that it was, or at least he hoped that it could have been. He had some how become attached to the city and was rather reluctant to leave it, even in his dream.

There were other noticeable changes, and rather large at that. He was older, eighteen or nineteen from the look of things, and he had a hair on his face. A little minuscule, but still hard to miss. This was himself after all and he was supposed to know himself well. Though of course now, he wasn't so sure.

Everyone still existed. His friends were of course older, Misato didn't seem to drink at all, (which he thought was somehow inexplicably wrong) Rei was talkative to the point of being annoying, and Asuka...

While he was...embarrassed to admit it, the first thing he noticed was that she was fuller in the chest. He felt sort of disgusted that this was the first thing that he noticed about the aged version of her. Out of all the redeeming features about her, he had to notice that most.

Her hair was relatively the same, at least in color. Now though, it seemed to reach past her waist, and she had abandoned the hair clips that she always wore. Maybe since the Eva's didn't exist she saw no reason to use them. He had never really asked her why she insisted on keeping the receptors on her head, even when they weren't in combat.

Her facial features were much the same, a little older he supposed, and her cheekbones were possibly more pronounced then before. She seemed more happy though, less reluctant to smile than he had known, and he saw that she had a glimmering smile that made him feel like he was looking at the sun. It was quite painful.

He saw this all from a different perspective of course, as you normally would in a dream. His older self seemed to be on similar terms with Asuka as he knew that he himself was. Though with less berating and yelling involved from the look of things. In fact, if he didn't know any better, he would guess that they were leaning towards a less friendly relationship and a more romantic one. That was a thought that made him frown slightly. Not in disgust or anything, but just in bemusement. He could only imagine the reaction he'd get from the Asuka he knew if he asked her out on a date.

'Like what you see?' Said a voice to his left.

Shinji should have known that this was too good to be true, and sure enough the pseudo Asuka was leaning against a wall as she watched his reaction to...the future? A possible future? Or just an imaginative future which Shinji had created on a whim?

Sighing, resigning to the usual, Shinji said, 'I was wondering when you would show up.'

'Oh? Grown accustomed to me have you?'

'In an odd way...yeah, I have.'

'I'll take that as a compliment. Anyway, like what you see?'

'I'm not really sure what I'm seeing. This is a dream, correct?'

'Either that or the people outside have some how entered your mind and have sent you into an imaginative world.'

'By the people outside...what do you mean?'

Waving his question off, she replied, 'Never mind. Forget I said anything.'

'...Fine, be all silent. But answer me this...is this at all possible.'

It took the pseudo Asuka a minute before she finally answered. 'Maybe...though unlikely. This is certainly a possible outcome of the future. But your decisions up till now have moved away from this possible outcome.'

'...My decisions up till? Sorry! I wasn't aware that I had made wrong choices!'

'Oh but you have. You've made wrong choices since day one. You had other options, but you just never gave thought to them. Now you have to deal with the future that is currently in store for you.'

'And that is?'

Grinning slightly, she said, 'Bleak, and I'll leave it at that.'

'Why is it always like that? Once, just once, I would have enjoyed a normal teenagers life.'

'You can complain all you want, but you never had any choice in the matter really. Your existence is completely wrong as it is.' As the pseudo Asuka said this her face hitched upward in an angry snarl for an instance before it went back to its normal impassive look. Shinji was totally dumbstruck, unable to guess what had triggered this sudden emotional outburst.

'What do you mean...my existence is wrong?'

'Forget it. I've said to much as it is.'

'Damn it! Why don't you ever answer my questions!'

'First I'm not supposed to, when your usefulness runs out then maybe I'll tell you some things...only at the end of everything though. It will save you some grief at least, you wont have to dwell on it long, maybe half a second or so.'

Shinji was not liking where the discussion was going. He felt like he was getting close to the end of a dark tunnel and that some fearful monster was at the end, one that he'd have to battle but didn't have the nerve quite yet.

So with an almighty pull in his mind, he managed to wrench himself back towards the present. What had started out wonderful had ended in torment. He supposed he wasn't that surprised it ended that way. Though the present wasn't something that he was looking forward to either as he opened his eyes.

The first thing he felt was a dull throb in his right hand. Next, he realized that he was laying on a hard, cool surface and seemed fastened to it somehow. Darting his eyes left and right he started taking in his surroundings.

He was in a room that was not unlike his normal white room, though there was a significant amount of equipment around him to blow the circuit breaker in an average house. Monitors of every kind were position around him with several tables next to him. Shinji craned his neck to try and see what was on the tables, but found that his neck didn't want to move. Squinting down at his neck, he saw that a metal ring had been fastened around it. He suspected that the other parts of his body had similar objects pinning him to the hard operating table, for thats what he suspected he was on now. What were the doing? Dissecting him?

Everything came back to him. The vision, the subsequent attempt of the rape and his fury and blood lust as he prevented it, the moment afterwards while he cradled Asuka in his arms. He remembered now why his right hand felt like he had smashed it repeatedly into a brick wall.

So he was at Nerv...right? Well, it made sense to think that. But how many days had gone by since then? For he couldn't remember waking up before now. Had they drugged him? If they thought he was going to be uncooperative then he figured they would.

Squinting around the room again he finally noticed that he was covered in wires. Metallic wires with white pads to hold them in place seemed to be position appropriately around his body. He felt two on his head, several on his arms and legs, and possibly three on his chest. Brain waves...heart beat...what else could they be looking at? His blood maybe? That last one made sense if they suspected he had been contaminated.

So he had exhibited angel powers huh? He wasn't sure who was more scared: himself, or everything person that knew what he had done, though with the exception of Asuka he supposed. He had remembered how Misato shunned away from him while they had walked towards the helicopter.

He heard a door slide open...

"No...no, I'll be fine. We've taken sufficient precautions so something like that won't happen. ...The commander specifically asked me to talk to him alone, so your presence here is unnecessary. Yes there are cameras in the room. If something should happen you may come in. ...Very well then."

Shinji, though still slightly disoriented was able to place the voice as Ritsuko's. What had she ment by questions?

As her face came into view, Shinji noticed that her voice seemed to be expressionless. If she had any fear for him, she was hiding it expertly.

"Shinji...can you hear me?"

Unwillingly he replied back with a low, "...Yeah."

"I'm sorry that all these," she hesitated, "precautions are necessary. But I'm sure you can understand how worried we all are about you."

'Worried about yourself more like,' thought Shinji bitterly.

"Anyway...since you're awake now I was hoping that we could talk for a while."

"About what? You know about myself then I do. What could you possibly learn from talking to me?"

Ritsuko completely disregarded his question and asked, "How do you feel?"

"Like concrete is encasing my entire body."

"So you can't move."

"Thats what I just said."

"Okay then...do you have anything you would like to know?"

"Plenty, though I'm sure you'd answer not even half of them, so I'll just ask instead what day it is."

"Its Wednesday, you have been out for nearly two days."

"Keeping me sedated?"

Ritsuko avoided eye contact with him; he got the picture.

"Now then...do you feel and different then you did two weeks ago."

Shinji frowned for a second but saw no reason why he shouldn't answer her question. "Not in the slightest."

"Physically and mentally?"

"Nope feels pretty much the same," replied Shinji with a sarcastic smirk. He was gonna make this as tough as possible for her.

"How did you learn about Asuka's...close encounter then?"

Her question took Shinji aback slightly, but at least he saw that she was disgusted at what could have happened.

"Premonition, I guess." He had chosen the wrong choice of words.

"And have you been having these premonitions frequently?"

Again her words caught him slightly by surprise. Hesitating for a second he said, "I call them more of dreams...but whatever"

"So then you dreamed about this happening?"

"I wasn't sleeping...but I suppose I could have passed out."

"What did you see?"

This question did not catch Shinji off guard, snarling back his answer he said, "You don't want to know."

Ritsuko winced for a second, whether it was his tone of voice or what he had said, he didn't know.

"No, I suppose we can leave that particular detail out. So? How did you find where she was?"

Shinji honestly had to think about that for a minute. He remembered recognizing the window that she had been standing in front of.

"...I don't remember that part very well...I mean," he swallowed. "I heard her...or not her, but what could have been her. Its hard to explain. I heard the her that could have been...what I had seen back in the apartment. Her voice just sorta...carried me onward I guess..."

"You act as though you were able to see the future."

"...Its not the future, just a possible outcome of the future. The future is changing almost every second based on the actions of humans."

"And so your actions canceled that possible outcome of her dying."

"Yes."

"Have you had anything similar to this before?"

Without hesitating, Shinji replied, "No...this is the first time that I've ever experience this, at least as far as the whole future thing goes."

"Let me ask you this...were you conscious of what you were doing to that man?"

Shinji had to hold back a snarl as he replied, "Man is a very loose way to describe that bastard, but yeah, I fully understood what I was doing when I killed him."

"Did you enjoy it?"

Shinji looked blankly back at her before he said, "I part of me did sure, I wanted to make it as painful for him as possible before he died. Would I do it again? Certainly!"

"So then you know that you used something similar to an AT-field."

"I don't know why you call it something similar to an AT-field. Thats what I used. Even I recognized that."

"...Fine then. How did you use it."

"Beats me. I just got really pissed, and felt like killing him. Suddenly his arm went flying. After that it felt like my body was on autopilot. All I really had to do was think about hurting him and my...whatever I have inside, would do the rest."

Ritsuko sat still for a few seconds before slouching in a nearby chair and pulling out a cigarette.

"Do you have any idea what's wrong with me," Shinji suddenly asked after a few moments of silence.

Ritsuko puffed away on her cigarette for a few moments before stabbing it into a nearby ashtray.

"No...we don't. And thats the worrisome part. Your brain shows no sign of mental contamination and we can't pick up a trace of pattern blue in your blood."

"So, what is your diagnose."

Shrugging Ritsuko said, "I don't have one currently. I have theory's, but thats all they are."

"I'd rather hear an explanation than none at all. I'm more worried about whats wrong with myself more than everyone else probably is."

"That may be true I suppose...okay then. First I theorize that this has something to do with Eva Unit 01. You must have realized yourself, that every time you step out of that thing, something changes in you. Something that you might not have thought before, or something that you would have reacted differently to if you had not been piloting it. Furthermore, you seem much more aggressive and produce subsequent mood swings that can be...rather harsh at times. I've also noticed that your brain waves have changed since your first synchronization test."

"...So what...?"

"Unit 01 is affecting you somehow. We can dispute that fact. Don't forget that the Eva had forced a direct synchronization with you several times by connecting directly with your nervous system. It is possibly that during those times, though few, you inadvertently took some of the Eva's blood. Don't forget that the Eva's are a byproduct of the first angel, Adam."

"I have angel blood in me then?"

"Its a possibly, and it may not be that specific way which I just listed. There are several other theory's but that is the most plausible at his moment."

"Does Misato know about this."

"Very vaguely. The commander gave me specific orders to act as though I was the only one to know about this...and some of the specifics."

"I'm some what glad..."

"You should be...she was worried."

"How did you guys even know where I was?"

"...We had...been keeping tabs on you since the last angel incident."

"You what!"

Shrugging Ritsuko said, "You have to look at it from our perspective. You had gotten out of control during that last battle and we still weren't one hundred percent sure you were contamination free. So we had Nerv person watching you twenty four-seven, even when Misato wasn't there."

Shinji clenched his teeth together. "So somebody had been following me that day."

"Yes, when he saw what you were going to do he decide to inform us. Actually, we had been ready to call you back to run some tests when the call came. Misato had actually been trying to dissuade us from that. She wasn't able to do much though when the order from the commander came down to detain you."

Shinji grimaced, "As usual my father is the root of all this."

Ritsuko was silent for minute as Shinji continued to glare angrily up at the ceiling. Finally breaking the silence he said, "So, am I going to be stuck on this table forever or are you going to throw me into solitary confinement. Can I at least get something to eat-"

"I'm not quite done with questions, I've got something to ask you...more personal."

Shinji sighed and said, "Whatever gets this over with faster."

"Firstly, and I'm sure you realized it yourself, your...powers, are strictly controlled by your emotions at this point. Before, when you were angry, you were able to do that. Its not likely that you will be able to control them at all in the first place."

"So I can never get angry again?"

"...Well for now we've managed to suppress it I think. We had developed some...chemicals to use in case we got the chance to examine an angels body. That chemical is currently flowing through your blood stream. It should be enough to suppress your powers for now."

"So I'm a human guinea pig, big deal."

"Secondly...I had something that I wanted to ask you...regarding Asuka."

Shinji's eyes...which had been rather glazed and unfocused as though he hadn't cared about the conversation up till this point, suddenly shot upwards and then narrowed into slits.

Trying to suppress a snarl, he said, "What about her..."

Ritsuko hesitated for a second. This was something that she hadn't wanted to ask, but knew that it was important nonetheless."

"Shinji...this is rather personal, so I'm just going to be blunt about it. We don't know if whatever you have is transferrable...if it is well, with regards to Asuka's well being-"

Shinji finally got what she aiming at and his entire body surged forward, straining at the steel rings that bound his body to the cold surface. Ritsuko had barely moved a muscle. She had been expecting this type of reaction.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN ASKING SOMETHING LIKE THAT!"

"Shinji please calm down. It is a legitimate question and I need to know-"

"I DON'T CARE. GO BACK TO MY BASTARD OF A FATHER AND TELL HIM HE CAN SHOVE HIS QUESTION STRAIGHT UP HIS-"

"Would you prefer it if I asked Asuka myself-"

If the chemical that had been administered to Shinji's body, had failed, Ritsuko's head would be rolling around on the floor right now with a fountain of blood spewing out of it.

Shinji's body surged upward again and Ritsuko was surprised that the steel braces held. Even if Shinji wasn't able to use an AT-field she suspect that his hands would work just as well to break a persons neck. She doubted that the security she had left outside the door would be able to make it to her in time and would probably be wheeling her out on a stretcher.

Shinji meanwhile was in a total maniacal rage.

"IF YOU SO MUCH AS EVEN THINK OF BRINGING THAT UP WITH HER, I'LL TEAR YOUR-"

"Shinji calm down already, and just answer yes or no!"

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK! DO YOU HONESTLY THINK WE'VE DONE THAT!"

"I have to have an answer. Think about it this way, if whatever changed with you was integrated into your DNA, then if you fathered a child you would have a chance of passing on that gene."

"Then why the hell do you automatically associated that with Asuka!"

"Because she is the closest human that you could love."

"Bull Shit!"

"Just answer the question..."

"...No! Is that good enough for you, or do you want to take a semen sample?"

Ritsuko face twisted upward into a grimace. "If you weren't going to cooperate than I had considered that option."

Shinji snorted while Ritsuko sighed.

"Are we done here?" Shinji asked abruptly.

"...For now yes...though I need you to cooperated with me on something."

"...What?"

"I have been asked to see what adverse effects, if any at all, Unit 01 has on you currently. I'm going to release the lock on the bracers so I want you to promise me that you wont run away, or try to injure any personal. There are armed guards outside that wont hesitate to pin you to the floor."

"Did my father ask you to do this also."

Ritsuko hesitated for a second but said, "Yes..."

"Why do you always act like his lapdog."

Ritsuko ignored his question.

"Okay...I'm releasing the locks...don't try anything."

"Like I could," mumbled Shinji as he felt the blood flowing more properly in his arms and legs. Sitting up properly he glanced around the room once before settling on Ritsuko's face. She was not smiling, rather, she seemed nervous now that Shinji had been released from his restraints. This made him feel slightly better, at least she feared him properly now.

Grinning slightly he said, "Lead the way, doctor Akagi."

There really wasn't much left of them so she settled on chewing her lips instead...though that was slowing starting to break down also. Asuka's nails, which she normally kept moderately long, were now little more than stubs; she had even made one of them bleed. She had lost track of time somehow, even though it had barely been two days since she had last seen Shinji.

She was constantly irritable to the point that Misato didn't want to spend longer than a few minutes in her company. Her classmates probably got it worst though, as they had to put up with her for eight hours. She had snapped earlier that day, throwing her notebook in the teachers face and kicking Touji's desk over...with him still in it of course. He was now in the hospital with a significant concussion. She had been lucky to not get suspended and wondered if Misato hadn't intervened. She hated that for some reason.

Currently, she was pacing back and forth in the living room, the T.V. blaring in the background. The thing that kept eating at her was the fact that she had been forbidden to see Shinji, even when she had promised him that she would. What didn't they want her to see? Was his condition so bad that he wasn't allowed to see anyone? Were they running tests on him like he had said back in the...

She tried her best to ignore that. It was bad enough that she woke up every night to that same nightmare drenched in a cold sweat. The last thing she needed was to think about it while she was awake. She was already in a terrible state.

She was still steadfast against her opinion that whatever...phase Shinji was going through, as she put it, had no harm in it whatsoever. She had been a little afraid when he had shown outright cruelty, but it was more the fact that she was worried that he would have changed, that he would have been different than the Shinji that she knew. Those few moments alone together had blown all those worries out of her mind. Though would he be the same after he returned from Nerv? They would certainly examine him and try to determine if he had been contaminated. What would they do if he was? Would they lock him up in some soft room and feed him through a small pocket in the door? He wasn't insane!

As Asuka's mind continued to sort through these questions, Misato got off the phone with Ritsuko and entered the living room.

"Asuka-"

"What?" She snapped back, not even looking at Misato's face.

"I just got off the phone with Ritsuko at Nerv..."

This briefly halted Asuka's pacing.

"So...what?"

"Shinji's awake..."

"By awake you mean that he hasn't been awake till now." She said all this very slowly.

"They had to sedate him," Misato explained patiently, "they had to run some tests on him...examine his brain waves and what not. They didn't think he'd like that."

"So they did it without his consent," snarled Asuka.

Misato hesitated, "I suppose you could look at it that way."

"So now what are they going to do with him," said Asuka trying to keep her voice at a normal volume.

"They want to run some tests with Unit 01 and him. They believe that his state might have been influenced somehow by Unit 01. Also they want me down there to witness it...and they wanted to know if you could be present."

"...So what...I'm going to see him through a gigantic piece of glass?"

"Isn't it better than nothing? You've been anxious ever since...he left, and now you have a chance to see him and your not going to take it?"

"Its not the same as standing in front of him."

"But he'd be glad that you were there. I'm sure he'd feel better if he knew you were watching."

Asuka eyed Misato, slightly unsure whether she should take the invitation or not. In truth, she wanted to, but she thought there were other implications behind her being there. If she was there Shinji might feel better, but then again, if she was there he might read it another way that she was something that they were able to control him with. She hated the idea that Shinji might be forced into something that he doesn't want to do because she was basically a hostage. Even so, her desire to see Shinji won over her fears.

"Fine, I'll go."

"I'm sure it will mean a lot to him," said Misato.

Asuka almost snorted. "It better, this is a favor for him and when he returns I'm going to be sure he pays me back."

Misato rolled her eyes knowingly as she turned to get ready.

It felt familiar...and what? Good? That was something he never expected to feel while sitting inside an entry plug. It was warm also...more warm than normal, like human blood he guessed, and something that he had smelled before in there but never really gave any thought to it. Why did he think it smelled like-

"Shinji you ready?" Came Ritsuko's voice over the intercom.

"...What? ...Right, sure whenever."

"We're gonna take this slow so just listen to what I tell you and we can get this over with. I'm just as anxious as you are."

Shinji rather doubted that but closed his eyes and started concentrating. He had been told that the purpose of this test was to first: see if he could still sync with Unit 01, and second: to see if any changes happened to him while he was inside the entry plug. This last thing worried him. By changes...well that left a lot open for discussion. They way he saw it, they could be mental or physical.

"Inserting entry plug into Unit 01...stabilizers in place...umbilical cord attached...pilot life signs normal, brain waves normal, heartbeat normal...no irregular patterns."

Ritsuko nodded once at the stream of information and said to Shinji, "Okay...just do what you normally do and try syncing with the Eva. We have a team on standby in case something happens so..."

Shinji heard a small quaver in her voice as she trailed off and for a minute felt that he had heard a small amount of compassion in her voice. He had long resigned to the fact that she only cared about scientific aspects and disregarded human life for those ideals. Now he thought his father was the one who was forcing her to do these things.

Concentrating had become second nature to him. In truth, he felt no different while trying to sync with Unit 01 then he would while lounging on the couch, or reading a book. The same concept still applied. Or maybe he was so engrossed in what he was doing he didn't recognize his surroundings. Course, his surroundings weren't overly exciting.

Pushing his mind further into the depths of his subconscious he brought up several memories of his childhood, none of them very happy. He had always been somewhat of a loner. Instead he conjured up a mental image of what Asuka would do when he was allowed to return. His mind tacked on the possible if, though he brushed it off. If he was lucky, and after avoiding the beating she'd be sure to unleash, maybe he'd be able to convince her to cook dinner for once. He had never asked that, afraid that she only ever wanted to make breakfast occasionally. Though he wasn't complaining, he enjoyed the breaks that she gave him and even suspected she liked cooking sometimes, if only to keep up her skills.

He felt his mind slip suddenly and knew that he was going off track with his imagination. He had momentarily forgoten where he was.

'You're a real airhead sometimes. Can you keep your thoughts to yourself. I don't enjoy having to listen to a humans sniveling love story.'

Shinji's brain waves didn't even change at the sudden intrusion of the 'voice,' as he had come to know it.

'What are you doing here,' he thought?

'Your mind was irritating me, so I told you to shut up. But what is this...another synchronization test?'

'Something like that. I don't even know for sure myself...'

The voice was silent for a minute before Shinji heard a low murmur and then a mumble of, 'Ah...so thats what happened.'

'What are you talking about?'

'You. Finally awoke and all that. Couldn't keep your emotions in check I see. Well, I can see why they are curious about you, you are unique after all. A human with an angels powers, well, if they can harness that power...'

'They want to harness my powers...why?'

'Even you should be able to see that. A human that is able to project a corporeal-'

'Cor...what?'

'It means that your AT-field has distinct form and shape, not the like the AT-field that all humans carry. Don't forget, if all humans were to lose there AT-fields they would technically become one, because a humans AT-field makes them unique and distinguishes them from all other humans. If AT-fields no longer exist, than all humans would be considered the same. I believe that this what your father considers as his version of Instrumentality.'

'My...father? Do you...know him? And what do you mean Instrumentality?'

'I do not know your father the way you do...lets just say that I have a reliable source that knows him well. Instrumentality...or Human Instrumentality is a plan that Seele plans to implement, though what it is...I'm not sure. Maybe they plan on becoming the gods of this world. Your fathers version differs significantly though. He wants to be rejoined with his loved one.'

'My mother?'

'I did not say that...but yes. That is most likely correct.'

'And somehow I'm involved in all this?'

'You could say that you are the key to it all.'

'Why am I a key-"

'Because you are, simple as that. If you have to, curse the fact that you were brought into this world.'

Something similar stirred in Shinji's mind, something that he had heard recently too.

"What do you-"

His entire mind surged forward and than backwards as though he had just suffered a mental whiplash. His head hurt like crazy. It felt like somebody had stabbed a white, hot poker on his skull, burning away the hair and flesh, leaving the brain scarred.

His eyes burst open suddenly and he immediately felt a stinging sensation on his right side. Looking down at his arm, he saw that from his finger tips to his elbow a bluish tinge had started to develop under his skin. Meanwhile, all around him the LCL fluid was boiling to the point that he felt he was being cooked in a pot roast. He heard frantic yelling over the intercom, but wasn't able to distinguish any of the voices. What he wouldn't give to just fade out of reality right now.

Maybe he had just gotten his wish.

His entire body was disappearing.

He gasped loudly as he watched the tips of his fingers slowly become transparent and then disappear all together. His entire body started to disintegrate into nothingness.

Meanwhile on the outside, Ritsuko was desperately trying to reverse the process, though with little luck. Unit 01 was not responding. Misato and Asuka were therefore forced to watch helplessly as Shinji slowly dissolved in front of there eyes.

For Shinji it didn't hurt, it just felt like he was, fading away with the wind. It didn't really seem so bad of an option really. He had sometimes wished he would just fade away with the wind, when he was particularly hurt by someone. Course he would be leaving behind his friends, but they could continue on without him. They would find somebody else to pilot Unit 01, or would he become one with Unit 01 and become another voice. Maybe that wouldn't be so bad. At least he could bother the next pilot till his...spirit or whatever passed on.

Everything faded to white.

And so, he suspected his new life to start, though what he had expected was a lot different that what he was seeing. Where the hell was this anyway?

Everything was white. Left, right, up, down, no matter where he looked all he saw was white. Was this what the after life was supposed to be? A whitish place that went on forever with no end in sight. Or was this simply something that he was imagining.

"You're not imagining this," said a soft voice from behind him. "This is all very real...or as real as things in here can be."

Shinji turned slowly to the sound of the soft feminine voice.

At first he thought he was looking at Rei, the similarities where eerie. She had dark brown hair that barely touched her shoulders. Her eyes were a soft brown that seemed closer to chocolate than anything

'My eyes,' Shinji reminded himself.

For he was looking at a mother that had died many years before, his mother.

Very hesitantly, Shinji opened his mouth, blinked twice and said, "Mother?"

She smiled back at him and nodded once before opening her arms to greet him.

The next few moments were lost to Shinji as he dashed forward and was brought into a comforting hug that he had never experienced, even in Asuka's tenderest moments. The hug of a mother was like nothing else, and you couldn't really blame him. He had never known who his mother was, or what she really looked like. Now though he saw the similarities which he had missed the first time. The shape of their noses, how theirs lips both seemed to draw upwards in the same way when they smiled. Shinji even recognized the simplest curve of the ears.

"Is this real?" He suddenly said. If it wasn't, he never wanted this dream to end.

His mother, Yui chuckled softly and said, "I suppose it is. I never thought that this was possible."

"But what is this," said Shinji as he took a step back trying to tell if something had changed in his surroundings.

"Somewhere inside the Eva, I suppose."

"You know about the Eva?"

"Course, I helped design them."

"You did what?"

Yui smirked slightly before she said with a sigh, "Gendo didn't tell you much I suppose."

"He rarely tells me anything at all. He can be very stubborn," murmured Shinji.

"So I've known," she said with a slight frown. "Anyway I have no idea how long I'll be able to talk to but first I think I'll get some stuff out of the way. ...You must hate me Shinji..."

Shinji had to do double take at this. "What? How could I hate you?"

"...You mean...you don't?"

"Don't what?"

"Never mind...forget I said anything."

Shinji nodded and was silent for a minute. He had about a hundred questions to ask his mother, each he felt more time consuming than the last.

"How am I here? Last I remember I was inside the Eva...disappearing."

"I think your molecules were separated piece by piece. Most likely your entire genetic makeup is still floating in the sea of LCL fluid."

Shinji raised an eyebrow in confusion but said nothing. Even though he was the son of scientists, he was not good at science himself.

There was an uncomfortable silence for a minute. What were they really supposed to talk about after never really talking to each other. Shinji didn't know where to begin.

"How come you're here mom?" He suddenly blurted out.

"Ah...I suppose you could call me something like Eva Unit 01's spirit."

"...Huh?"

"You know that I died in an experiment, right."

"Yes..."

"The experiment was Unit 01's first activation. It went berserk and killed my human body, though I found that my spirit was able to reside in Unit 01. Since then I've stayed here. It's because I exist here that you are able to pilot it."

"Why is that?"

"The children after Second Impact are the only ones that are able to pilot the Eva's. But for them to be able to pilot them there has to be some spirit inhabiting them, someone that loves them. The same applies for the other Eva's, with the exception of Unit 00. Its nothing but an empty shell."

"What is resting in Unit 02?"

"I don't know. That experiment happened after I had already passed on. You'd have to ask the pilot of the 02."

Shinji could just imagine that conversation with Asuka.

"How are you doing though outside of piloting an Eva? School going okay? Grades fine? I hope you have plenty of friends."

Shinji sighed as her motherly instincts kicked in. "I'm fine, better than I've been in a while really. I've got a guardian who looks after me and several friends."

"School?"

"So-So," said Shinji holding back a smile.

"Well as long as you pass I suppose I'll be happy. Now you should probably return to your own place."

"No. I want to talk with you more."

Shaking her head, Yui said, "You don't belong here. As much as I want to continue talking to you, I know that this place isn't for you. You have people on the outside that are worried about you. One in particular seems to be infuriated by your absence.

Shinji could only guess who that was.

"I want to ask you something before I left."

"Better make it quick."

"Okay...do you know if another spirit is residing in here, because I here...voices sometimes when I'm piloting the Eva."

Yui's eyes narrowed. "I think I know what you mean. Sometimes my existence is pushed aside, it feels strange. That could be what you are talking about. But it never stays around for long, its always constantly moving. Sometimes I feel it, sometimes I don't. I would be wary of it though. There is strong malice coming from what I've felt before."

"I'll keep that in mind. Thank you mom...for everything."

"I don't see why you should be thanking me. If anything...you should be...well, I suppose you should be on your way. Best not keep the others waiting too much longer. It looks as though they might forcefully try to get you out."

Shinji snorted. If it was Asuka decision she'd crack open the entry plug and search for him herself.

Smirking slightly, he noticed his body become transparent, and waved a finally farewell to his mother before he reappeared inside the entry plug.

Everything was a blur as he reappeared. He felt many arms grabbing and touching him as he was forcefully hauled out of the entry plug. Suddenly he felt a sharp metal object pierce his skin before he was fully conscious and saw the syringe release the chemical into his body. First thing out of the entry plug and they were already afraid of him. He thought this silently as he slowly passed out.

Wow his body was numb. Every nerve in his body felt split and frayed. All his senses were completely switched off. What in the world had happened?

He had apparently spoken this out loud, because he got a returning answer.

"A lot of stuff really, you're okay though...baka."

His hearing wasn't apparently completely gone as he could easily tell who this was by the tone of there voice.

"Hey, Asuka."

"Yeah, I'm here."

"To bad I can't see you."

"Which is a relief for me because I look terrible."

"I didn't think that was possible."

Asuka's breath hitched slightly but she said, "You really are an idiot."

"Maybe I am..."

Shinji suddenly felt something soft grasp his hand which was laying lifeless next to the bed.

"That you?"

"...No one else is in here."

"Sorry, I can't feel your hand very well is all."

"With good reason. Your arms look as though you're a heroin addict. I can't believe how many drugs they pumped into you. They only stopped after Misato yelled at them."

"Glad that she's on my side."

"Yeah, me too."

They were silent for a minute, just glad to be near each other once again. Though both knew that this was a very temporary thing. There time apart might be longer this time.

"Sorry that I took so long to get here," said Asuka suddenly.

"Don't blame yourself, I'm sure you tried your best. Not that it would have mattered much since I was out until today though."

"Yeah, I suppose."

"How long do you have to stay?"

"Not much longer...I was given a few minutes thanks to Misato."

"I'll have to thank her when I get the chance."

"Hmm," said Asuka nodding her consent.

Letting out a low sigh, Shinji turned towards the sound of Asuka's voice. He thought he even saw the outline of her face. But maybe that was just his mind playing tricks on itself.

"How you faring...by yourself I mean?"

Shrugging Asuka said, "Okay...nights or kinda rough. Hikari has been helping me a little. Even Kensuke and Touji have been kinder than usually."

"Good, or I'd have to get angry with them."

"Thats not a good idea."

Shinji laughed silently, "No, I suppose that wouldn't be."

"I'm just glad that you're still the same. I had worried that you might have...changed."

"Didn't I tell you I'd stay the same person that you knew?"

"Yes...but you can't blame me for being worried."

"No...I supposed I can't."

The door opened and Shinji heard Misato's voice.

"Asuka...time to go."

"...M'kay," she mumbled silently.

Shinji squeezed Asuka's hand briefly before letting it slide out of his grasp, waved in the direction that he thought the two of them were, and laid back down in his bed.

A short time later, Ritsuko returned with another sinister looking syringe, bringing Shinji into a dreamless sleep.