Sorry about the wait for this. It was originally supposed to come out on Valentines Day, but I get sick and basically wasn't in the mood to do much typing till a week ago, which in hindsight is properly good, since this is a very unvalentines day chapter. Anyways to make up for that I've got something special today. I'm posting two chapters today...why you ask. Because I just turned twenty today. Yeah its my birthday, party crackers for all. Anyway its late so I'm gonna post this and the other in a bit and go to sleep. Can't wait till...later I guess since it is tomorrow. Gonna go to the Oliver Garden (italian restaurant for those of you that don't know, not sure if its in another parts of the US besides Oregon)
Shinji was moving fast, in fact, faster then he had probably ever moved in his life. Chances are, if anybody saw him running like this through the corridors of Nerv, he'd be pulled aside instantly. He had managed to avoid most of the security cameras, at least so far. He knew that every gate leading in and out of Nerv had at least three security cameras, giving a complete three hundred and sixty degree view. As long as he could make it there and leave, he should be fine.
He still didn't know what he would do though when he left, and thats what was nagging at him. Where exactly should he go? He could walk some of the trails that he used to walk before he met Asuka and Misato, but for some reason, he didn't want to remember those painful times of loneliness. He just needed to leave, leave and think, for thats what Asuka had risked her security card for.
He hoped she wouldn't get in too much trouble, Misato would probably glaze over the small misdemeanor. Shinji knew that letting other Nerv employee's know your security code on the back of your card was subject to confinement for up to three days. But surely it wouldn't count as much. Besides, Asuka could just lie and tell them he took it while she was sleeping. They'd believe it well enough with the current state of affairs.
Pausing at the corner of a four way intersection of hallways, Shinji looked around a corner for a brief instance. After catching his breath, and being sure that nobody had seen him, person or camera, he took off in another full sprint.
The gate he was headed for was the closest from the Nerv hospital, in fact, it had been built especially for the sake of bringing injured people straight from downtown Tokyo-3, which was where he was headed.
Finally reaching the elevator that would take him up to the gate, he peaked around the corner briefly, only to jerk his head back to its starting place.
"Shit," he mumbled. He had forgotten that there was a camera placed precariously above the elevator.
Looking around the corner again, he weighed his chances of running straight towards the elevator and being spotted. He supposed he could, and risk security spotting him and forcing a lock down on gate five, which he was just under, or he could...
'Practice makes perfect,' he thought.
Pressing himself flat against the corner of the wall, he then griped the corner of the wall with his right hand in preparation. In truth, he had no idea whether this would work or not. Whenever he had used his AT-field before, the object of his thought had always been within reaching distance. The camera had to be a good ten meters away though.
Glancing around the corner, he saw the camera swiveling left and right as it covered the corridors on either side of it, not just the one in front which Shinji was on. Reacting quickly as it moved towards the left, temporarily loosing sight of the middle hallway, Shinji swung his right arm up in a straight arc directed at the camera. At the same time, he thought repeatedly in his head, 'Slice it, Slice it, Slice it!'
Shinji felt it before he heard the shattering of the camera and its subsequent fall to the floor. Something which could only be described as what felt like another layer of skin that molded perfectly with his body, shot outwards before changing into a straight line in mid air. The camera lens was split directly in half along with the supports that mounted it to the wall.
Shinji opened his eyes, just as the camera hit the floor, and shattered into a few more pieces. It may be the pinnacle of surveillance equipment, but its still as fragile as glass.
Trying not to revel in this sudden new surprise at what he was capable of doing, Shinji quickly hurried down the rest of the corridor, punched in the numbers that would take him to the surface, and stepped into the elevator.
...Meanwhile in a security room not to far from the elevator Shinji had just entered...
"Strange..." mumbled the guard. "Camera twenty-two suddenly went silent."
"What happened?" Replied the other.
"I don't know but...wait...somebody is in the elevator leading to gate number five."
"Unauthorized?"
"Seems to be that way."
"Better call it up then."
Misato had certainly lived through better days then the ones she was currently experiencing. She couldn't believe that she had her first fight with Shinji. Sure they had argued a few times, but she had never seen such loathing in his eyes as he berated her about being a bad parent. Did he honestly expect her to be happy with the current situation? Of course she hated it, but she had tried her best!
Turning away from the stack of papers that sat on her desk, she swiveled around in her chair, placed her elbows on her knees, and rested her chin in her hands.
By having Shinji and Asuka living with her, was she trying to act out the position of being a parent? What was a guardian then? Some form of authority at its most basics most likely. Shinji and Asuka were just too young to live by themselves, no matter how much either desired it.
She had never seriously thought of having kids before, it had always seemed something from another world. Certainly she had wondered what it would be like as any young adult woman does, but that was when she had been in college, and still clueless about the workings of the world. And yet, there had been times with Kaji when she had thought what raising a family would have been like with him. But neither of them could have handled that sort of responsibility. Now she was wondering if she could even handle two teenagers.
She felt ashamed of saying it, but when she had learned about the probability of Shinji having angel powers, she felt scared of him. She now realized how wrong that had been, and how it had affected Shinji. Shinji and Asuka had there ups and downs, no use denying it. But she had always been there and supported him. But when she became afraid of what he might be, she shunned him. Because of that, he seemed to resent her, and blamed her because of what happened to Asuka.
"But it wasn't my fault," she whispered with her face now resting in her hands. "I took every precaution available, I tried to have the commander change pilots or choose the fourth. I tried!"
Misato suddenly jumped in her chair, startled as the phone on her desk rang amongst the many papers and documents. Turning towards her desk, she shifted some of the papers out of the way, only to stare at the number on the phone. If she remembered correctly six, seven, one, was the area code for a guard post stationed just before the gate leading to downtown Tokyo-3.
Picking it up hesitantly, she said, "This is Major Misato..."
"Major, we have a security breach over here at gate five, one of our security cameras was taken out, and the suspect is traveling up the elevator."
"Initiated the automatic shutdown of the elevator."
"We can't, the person must be a Nerv employee because he overrode the emergency shutdown access code."
"Force a lockdown on gate five."
"We wont make it in time."
"Damn it! Did the camera get a shot of the intruder before it was taken out?"
"No, all we were able to see was a single frame in the video where it showed a flash of orange light before the camera was destroyed."
"What!"
"Is something wrong Major?"
Misato bit her tongue for a second before she said, "Put me through to the hospital, ward number eleven, and let me know when the suspect passes through the gate. At most we'll be able to know who it is with their security card."
"Very well Major."
Misato heard the click as the guard disconnected and the beeping, as she was connected to the hospital ward. She had a feeling who was leaving via gate number five, but wanted to be sure. The gate was after all closest to the hospital."
Finally a female voice came on the phone and said, "Nerv hospital, ward number eleven, how may I help you."
"This is Major Misato. Put me through to room 301, and make it quick!"
"At once, Major."
After several seconds, Misato heard a click and Asuka's voice as she answered the phone.
"Yes, what is it," Asuka grumbled slightly?
"Asuka, its Misato."
"Is something wrong?"
"Is Shinji with you?"
"No, he's not. Should he be?"
"I think he might have left and just thought you might know whether he had left or not?"
"Wouldn't you find that out faster then I would considering I'm stuck here," said Asuka with a slight hint of amusement in her voice.
"Asuka! Did Shinji tell you he was leaving!"
There was a slight pause before Asuka replied, "Whatever he decides to do if he leaves is entirely up to him."
"Damn it Asuka! Did you give him your pass card, because if you did I-"
"Court martial me? Not likely since I'm an Eva pilot."
"Asuka do you realize what you've done?"
"...Its not like he's going to do anything that would put Nerv in a bad position."
"But he may never come back! Surely you realize that!"
"No, he will come back."
"How can you be so sure-"
"Because I believe him," replied Asuka with such a strong voice that Misato had to pause several seconds before replying, "How can you be sure though?"
Misato thought she caught a slight laugh in Asuka's reply as she said, "Because he knows that I'd find him no matter where he went on this planet and give him hell for breaking his promise to me."
Misato was silent for almost a thirty-seconds before Asuka said quietly, "He'll be back. Maybe not tomorrow...or the day after, but he will be, because he knows I'm waiting for him."
"...Asuka..."
"Sorry Misato but I'm still tired, so if we're done, I'd like to get back to sleep."
"Asuka you realize that if Shinji doesn't return...then you really could face the possibility of a court martial."
"Good, then I'd have all the time in the world to find that idiot."
Asuka hung up without another word, leaving Misato with nothing but the ringing of Asuka's last words in her ears.
Hanging the phone up, she saw the light flashing on and off her answering machine and pressed it. Predictably, it had been the guard that had talked to her earlier and he described the portrait of the person leaving Nerv. Though he was puzzled as the security card rang up something different then what the cameras had shown. After a minute of his lengthly description, Misato pressed the hang up button and leaned back in her chair.
She felt like she had failed not only Asuka, but now Shinji also as a guardian.
Even the stale air of Tokyo-3 never smelled so sweet as it did now that Shinji finally made it out into the open air. Stretching his legs to the point where he could feel his underused muscles cramping up, he threw his arms behind his head and gazed up into the blue sky of Tokyo-3. It had been...what, over a week since he saw blue skies? No, longer than that, since it had been raining those past few days before he had been taken to Nerv.
'Now...what to do," he wondered?
Starting off in a walk that was unsure of its final destination, he let his feet take him wherever they wanted to go while his mind wandered.
First then...why did he pilot?
'Because I'm told to,' said a voice in his head.
'No...thats not right.'
'But people expect you to, because you have talent.'
'So they push there own responsibilities and desires onto me.'
'Why do you loath contact between other humans?'
'Because nobody loves me. They only care about themselves.'
'So you pilot to acquire the love that was missing in your life?'
'No! Thats not it!'
'What do you wish for? What does your heart desire?'
'I don't know.'
'Why don't you know?'
'I don't know! I don't know what love feels like because I've never been loved!'
'What about Misato? Asuka? Rei? What do you feel for them?'
'They...I don't know.'
'You don't want to know...because you're afraid of being hurt.'
'Stop it!'
These last words Shinji blurted out into the open air. Looking wildly around for a minute, he realized he had come a good ways from gate five. Glancing towards his left and right, he tried to place where he was with the map of Tokyo-3 that resided in his head. Whatever his grades looked like, he always seemed to memorize things easier then most people.
There was a shop on his left that looked as though it had come right out of the 1800's, while on his right there seemed to be a small cafe of some sort. Hesitating briefly, his grumbling stomach won over his common logic, and he crossed the street, and walked in.
It seemed even smaller then what he had seen outside. Upon walking into the small shop, the first thing he saw was the wooden counter that ran along in half a circle. Seated behind it was a woman, a little older than him that had dark brown hair streaked with a darkened red. She was reading a book of sorts and Shinji understood that to mean that this place rarely got any customers.
Seated next to the windows directly to the left and right of him were several small wooden tables with one or two chairs around them. A few of them even had a small glass vase with flowers in them, attempting to improve the look of the place. Several hanging fans with light fixtures spun above him and blew cool air into his face, as if he had needed it. The walls were mostly bare and devoid of pictures or paintings except for a rather dull looking picture of a cup of coffee that was placed behind the wooden counter. Shinji couldn't understand how this place was still in business.
Walking up to the counter, he got a closer look at the girls face and realized that she wasn't all that bad looking. He suddenly felt a chill down his spine though and seemed to think that he had just angered somebody greatly. It was a ridiculous thought, and besides, its not like he was tied down or anything.
Seeing that she had a customer, the girl put down her book, and walked up to the register.
"What can I get you?"
Shinji was rather taken aback at the tone of her voice as it was quite clear that she didn't enjoy being interrupted in the middle of reading. Whats more though, the tone and inflection reminded him strongly of somebody else.
"Well?" She asked again, this time with a raised eyebrow.
"Sorry," Shinji mumbled. Glancing at the menu, he didn't feel as though his stomach had any preference today and just went with two deli sandwiches and a small cola.
The girl was unsociable as she rang up Shinji's order, and retreated to the back of the cafe to get his food. Shinji was honestly wondering how fresh a sandwich could be if it was kept in the back of a cafe.
Returning to the front of the cafe, the girl placed the wrapped sandwich and turned to fill Shinji's cup of cola. After filling it to the brim, she turned to Shinji and said in a crass voice, "Five seventy-five."
Shinji had completely forgotten about paying for his meal and winced again, as another cold streak ran down his spine. Hesitating, unsure of how he should proceed, he heard a small voice in his head say, 'Go ahead and use the card, its not like this is wrong or anything.'
'But I feel bad, using Asuka's card for food,' he replied back.
'What will you do then, starve?'
Thankfully, Shinji's reply was unnecessary as the girl at the counter said, "Are you paying or what!"
Pulling Shinji out of his reprieve, he glanced at her and saw contempt on her face. He had a sudden surge of annoyance that he had not felt in some time course through him.
'Cool it,' he reminded himself. 'Flying off the handle now would only make matters worse.'
So, calming himself down, he muttered, "Right, sorry," and fished Asuka's security card out of his pocket.
Either the girl didn't bother to check the picture or name on the card when she swiped it through the slot, or she simply didn't care, because it only left Shinji's hand for three seconds.
Depositing the card in his pocket, he turned with his food in hand and without another glance, started walking towards the door, though something held him back. Turning suddenly to his right, and not quite sure what he was doing, he walked over the table in the farthest corner of the right wall, and sat himself down in a chair facing the window.
It took him a few seconds to realize that he was still inside the cafe, and he couldn't understand why his feet had suddenly decided to take a detour. Was his subconscious telling him to stay here? That was certainly stupid.
'Fuck it,' he thought.
Unwrapping his sandwich, he glanced up briefly at the counter, only to see that the girl had sat back down on her stool with her book back in her hand. It seemed she wasn't pleased with Shinji's sudden decision, as her eyebrows seemed to have come together. Well, Shinji wasn't happy with it either, but it appeared that he had stopped here for a reason maybe.
Tearing a bight out of the sandwich, he started chewing it methodically, as he churned over what he thought he should do.
Admittedly, though he really didn't want to admit it, he didn't think he could leave Nerv, or at least, he would destroy himself in the process of leaving. The truth was, that he had become used to being around everyone, to enjoy the presence of people around him. He had even become accustomed to piloting Eva, if that sounded logical at.
Then of course there was Asuka; he wasn't sure if her existence was a blessing, or a plague upon him. Maybe deep down, he knew he'd never be able to leave, but because of her? Well, he supposed it was likely, but he...just didn't know what he felt. It was sorta just nothing, he supposed. It didn't feel like anything was there, like there never had been. Or maybe...it wasn't something that he could feel, not like a physical form, but neither as something spiritual. Maybe it was because she was missing, like a part of him was gone...or something.
'So damn confusing,' he thought as he put his sandwich down and took a swig of his cola.
And then there was of course the nagging question of who he was. What was his significance in the Human Instrumentality Project, for he was certainly a key factor? Was his father banking on the fact that he wouldn't leave, or had he already out lived his usefulness? Why did he exhibit angel powers? Why was he able to generate an AT-field? Why was he so different?
His father, it always came back to that. What exactly did he know? What was he trying to keep Shinji in the dark about? Who else knew what he might be? Ritsuko? Fuyutsuki? ...Rei, maybe?
A sudden cough made him jump as he had quite forgotten that he was not alone in the store. Looking up at the counter, he saw that the girl at it was pinching the space in between her eyebrows absently. Shinji could only guess that she was irritated at his presence. Well, he couldn't really blame her.
As Shinji looked away, he was about the take another bight out of his sandwich when he caught glimpse of the book she was reading, and before he could stop himself he was blurting out, "Isn't that The Catcher in the Rye?"
A long moment of silence passed inside the shop as Shinji slightly rebuked his sudden question. It was rather rude he thought. Though he was surprised as she replied back moments later with a stiff, "Yeah, it is."
Shinji, unsure of how he was supposed to reply, took a quick sip of his drink and was about to raise the sandwich to his mouth when he heard a question, which sounded as though it didn't care if it was answered or not.
"Why, have you read it?"
Shinji looked up from his meal and turned towards the counter and was rather surprised to see that she was looking at him.
"Sorta...I'm reading it right now, though I haven't been able to read any for almost a week now."
"Hmmm, is it a school thing?"
"No, I'm reading it on my own time."
She looked at him evenly for a second before replying, "...I see."
Shinji watched her for a few seconds before turning back towards his sandwich. It wasn't exactly conversational, but he had a better impression of her at least.
Finishing his first sandwich, he was about ready to start on his second, when the front door of the cafe when flying open, bounced off the opposite wall, only to be kicked as it swung back into place. Shinji watched, with his second sandwich half way to his mouth, as three burly men marched into the cafe and planted themselves in front of the wooden cabin. Something about the way they were shifting their weight back and forth made Shinji feel a certain ominous presence, as though each of them had something bulky and concealed in their jackets.
Whoever the girl was, she seemed to recognize the three, because she immediately put her book down and hurried around the side of the counter before ending up in front of the men. Shinji seemed to be completely forgotten during this exchange, and suddenly realized he was holding his breath.
The tallest of the three stepped forward as the girl skidded to a half in front of them. Shinji saw him smile, and counted several golden teeth.
"Becca my darling, how goes business today?"
"I'm sorry Eein, I have not had many customers toda-"
"Bah! Again ya useless tramp! What good are ya if ya can't run a simple business!"
"Please...this place is in such of an out of the way area that people don't want to come."
"Maybe we out to change the menu a little boss."
Eein turned towards his friend and said, "Like what Gonzo?"
"How about, 'Blowjobs five dollars a pop, and titfucks for an extra fifty cents.'"
"You never cease to amaze me Gonzo," replied Eein, as he roared with laughter. "I like it! And she has to keep sucking till she blows their load. Should we give the option of take home photographs so the sleazy perverts can all have something to wank off to when there lonely?"
"Boom goes the dynamite," cackled Gonzo as he made a jerking gesture with his right hand.
Eein chuckled lightly as he turned towards Rebecca. "So what do ya think? Could you bring in more money that way?"
Rebecca tried to hide the sadness that welled up in her eyes. "I...don't know, Eein."
"Course you don't ya little tramp. You'll do what you're told and not complain about it. So, ya had to have at least one customer today, where's the money?"
"But-"
"I take a profit of the money and leave the rest for you're shitless mother. That was the deal...so where is it!"
Rebecca hung her head as she turned to walk back around the corner, while Eein followed her. Opening the register, Rebecca stood to the side as Eein examined the contents.
"This it," he exclaimed as he looked at the measly ten dollars and twenty-five cents that sat in the register.
"I-I did have a customer pay with a card-"
"Dumb fuck! What did I tell you about that hmmmm! We only except cash!"
"I'm sorry, I forgot..."
"You seem to forget a lot...tch whatever."
Swiping the money out of the register, he thumbed through it briefly before chucking the twenty-five cents back into the register.
"Theres your salary for the day, do what ever the fuck you want with it, even if its for that dying sack of shit of a mother."
"Thank you-"
"You better get down on your fucking knees and kiss my ass. Without me, your mother would be in the fucking ground six feet under."
"I know."
"I really don't think you do," replied Eein with a snarl, as his hand suddenly shot outward and grabbed Rebecca's right breast. Rebecca winced in pain as the large fingers and long finger nails started to dig into the soft flesh.
"You picked a bad day to irk me, girl. I got pretty pissed earlier and broke some sluts chin for not knowing where her place was; down on all fours howling like a dog. I've got plenty of tension built up right now and would love to release some of it into your pussy. Maybe you'd like to take her place for a bit. I'm sure I could get you squealing like a pig in a matter of seconds."
Gesturing towards his crew on the other side of the counter, they started walking around so they would soon join there boss in the screw fest. However, as Eein reached for the neckline of Rebecca's shirt, a loud 'clunk' echoed around the small cafe as Shinji slammed what remained of his drink down on the table, sloshing most of the rest of his drink over the side of his cup.
Shinji caught movement immediately as Gonzo and the other thug reached into their coat pockets, but froze their hands when they saw it was just a kid. Looking wildly around at there boss, Eein glanced at Shinji, before nodding towards his two thugs. One dead middle schooler wasn't going to hurt the world a bit.
As Gonzo and the other started pulling out there concealed weapons, the pressure in the room changed dramatically. During the exchange of words, Shinji had watched everything carefully. He didn't want to get himself involved unless he saw absolutely no other option. He didn't want a repeat of the rapist, and this would have been three dead men. He had calmly assessed his options, and decided if worst came to worse, he could threaten them to a certain degree. However, when he heard what Eein was going to do to the girl called Rebecca, Shinji had come very close to lashing out in anger and lopping Eein's head off.
Now though, he felt like he was in complete control of the situation. They way he presented his posture, showed that he was utterly lax, and yet the thugs could feel a killing intent coming from him so strong that it was almost constricting their throats. It was like a large weight was suddenly being pressed down on top of them, so much that there backs were threatening to bend. Shinji could almost hear the frantic beating of the three hearts as they waited for him to make a move. The air was suddenly stifling as though Shinji's anger was coursing through the air, and throughout it all, he looked almost serene, and that was the worst part. They got the impression that if he so much as moved his right hand, they would all die.
The other thug suddenly took a hesitant step back as he felt Shinji's eyes boar into him. Gonzo looked wildly around at his boss and was surprised that his boss was looking intently at Shinji, as though deciding whether or not he could kill the kid before he killed him.
The two glared each other down, while Shinji was getting anxious and was tempted to scare them with his AT-field, when Eein pulled back.
"Sorry that ya had to see that kid," he mumbled, doing a little mock bow in front of Shinji. It was almost as though he was mocking him.
"Come on guys, we got other stops to make."
Without another word, the three thugs exited the shop and passed down the street.
Shinji waited until he was certain that they had left the entire block, before he quickly stood up, walked over to the counter and swung his legs over the wooden surface.
Rebecca was sitting on the floor with her legs drawn up to her chest. She seemed to be crying silently, and Shinji was vaguely reminded of a similar experience with Asuka.
Kneeling down next to her, he muttered, "You okay?"
"No...I'm...Not," she managed to say through sobs.
'Right,' thought Shinji, 'that was a given.'
"Can I get you anything," he mumbled?
"The...white cloth, next to the coffee machine."
Standing up, Shinji spotted it immediately as it was the only white thing in the cafe and handed it to her.
Dabbing at the edges of her eyes with it, she looked up at Shinji. Her eyes were extremely puffy and red.
"I'm sorry you had to see that."
"Its okay..."
She shook her head and said, "No, it really isn't. You're just a kid...and yet..."
A twinge of annoyance hit Shinji at the word kid. Sure from someone her ages perspective he was a kid, but if she knew what he had done...well...
"...And yet you stood up for me," she finished.
Shinji's previous thought was banished at her words, and he was slightly abashed.
"I don't really think-"
"No, its because you were there that they didn't do anything."
'Glad to help,' thought Shinji slightly disgruntled.
"I'm Rebecca by the way...you?"
"Shinji."
"Thank you, Shinji..."
Shinji simply nodded and stood up. Walking over to the coffee machine, he examined it for a minute before deciding that he would rather have tea instead. Looking for a pot and tea leaves, Rebecca realize what he was doing and pointed out where everything was.
After setting everything together, the two of them waited for the water to boil.
"Why do you put up with it," Shinji suddenly asked her?
Rebecca was silent for a minute before she replied, "My mother has a rare disease that affects her mental capacity. She has the body of an adult, yet in essence she is a kid. She was born like that, but in recent years its become a lot worse. My father left us last year because he couldn't stand her anymore."
"I'm sorry," Shinji muttered.
"Don't be...its not like you're to blame."
"But why this? Why this if you hate it so much."
"...Eein...is rude, disgusting, selfish, an arrogant bastard, and all around sleaze ball. But he is very rich, his father is the president of a petroleum company which deals with the United States. Because of his fathers reputation, he is able to get certain things done that other people wouldn't. He became fond of me a few years ago...when I was still developing, and heard about my mothers dilemma. He told me that if I worked for him, he'd provide the medical insurance to keep her alive and well. And so, I've become something of a slave I guess."
"Thats-"
"Cruel? Disgusting? Inhuman? I don't care, my mothers alive."
"But what about you're life? What do you want to do with yourself? You cant live like this forever; what happens when he throws you away?"
"I'll worry about it when the time comes," she mumbled, though she didn't seem very hopeful.
Shinji was silent for a second, and was thankfully give a reason to stand up as the water came to a boil. Placing the tea leaves in the pot, he waited till they dissolved, and poured two cups of herbal tea into two mugs.
"Thanks," Rebecca said as Shinji passed the cup to her.
Sipping it quietly, Rebecca suddenly turned to Shinji and said, "I was wondering, but didn't bother asking. Do you go to school, or?"
"...Normally yes, but I haven't gone for a week because of...certain circumstances."
"Would these circumstances have anything to do with the fact that you're in one of the most inhospitable parts of Tokyo-3?"
"I was just sorta...walking and thinking and lost track of time.
"This is probably the worst place to get lost in," she mumbled as she took another sip of tea.
"I can take care of myself."
"I assume you can, considering what happened earlier."
"Earlier?"
"With Eein and the others...they almost seemed frightened of you."
"Can't imagine why," said Shinji while looking the other way.
Rebecca looked at him shrewdly before saying, "Who are you exactly?"
Before Shinji was able to stop himself he replied, "I honestly don't know."
"Whats that supposed to mean?"
"I...don't know why I exist, or what I'm supposed to do."
"And this has something to do with those circumstances?"
Shinji hesitated for a second before he nodded his head.
Rebecca continued looking at him before she threw her arms behind her, and placed her hands palms down on the cold wooden surface of the floor.
"Is it something that you can talk about?" She suddenly asked.
Shinji glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. Whatever she had seemed before Shinji started talking to her...well, she certainly wasn't stupid, not to mention rather attractive.
Hesitating for a second, he finally replied, "I suppose its really not something...that the general public is supposed to be aware of."
"Then I wouldn't bother you about it."
"No, I didn't mean to be rude. I just..." Shinji trailed off as he wasn't sure what he was getting at.
Rebecca continued looking at him, slightly curious, though not wanting pry, about what he was involved with.
"You can tell me this much...does it have anything to do with a girl?"
Shinji almost dropped his cup of tea, which was all the reply she needed.
"So it does have something to do with a girl," replied Rebecca with a raised eyebrow.
Turning towards her, Shinji stammered back, "No, not really...I-I mean, theres a girl involved...but she's not like...a center...problem, or anything."
Rebecca suddenly smiled at Shinji's hopeless attempt at refuting how he had acted. The change in her appearance was dramatic, as her smile seemed to throw her entire face into a new light.
"So then whats the problem?"
"I...guess I'm just afraid."
"Of what?"
"Of being alone...of being unwanted."
"Why is that?"
"Because...well, its hard since I just met you, to explain everything, but my childhood wasn't exactly endearing. I moved around a lot, lived with a lot of people. My father was making me do this, he abandoned me when I was young...like around four or something. I hated human contact, still find it difficult to associate with other people for that matter. But now I've become afraid of being useless, because I don't want my life to go back to what it was. I found a purpose in my life, but I don't know why I do what I do. I feel like I'm...living out other peoples dreams and wishes. Where are my desires? What reason do I have to live if all I'm doing is living for other people? I've been confined at a certain...place for a while, and managed to escape just a little while ago."
"Is the person on the card the one that helped you escape?"
"So you saw that?" replied Shinji trying not to sound sheepish.
"Yeah, I just didn't really care at the time."
"The only way I could escape was if I had that card. I had to go through some security check points, and without it...well."
"And its also a debit card?"
"...Yeah..."
"Sounds to me like you got yourself into some pretty bad shit."
'If you only new the half of it,' thought Shinji.
"So, what are you going to do now? Go back?"
"I knew from the minute I left that I'd have to come back, at least eventually, because I couldn't just abandon everybody after everything we've been through."
"And yet you still don't know what to do?"
"...Right..."
Rebecca sat up suddenly and reached for something in her jean pocket. Pulling out a lighter and a pack of cigarettes, she put a cigarette in her mouth and was about to light it when she caught the sideways glance from Shinji.
"Sorry," she replied after realizing that his expression was one of annoyance. "Its a bad habit, and I know it is."
"Its fine, I know somebody that smokes at least two packs a day."
"Now thats murder," replied Rebecca with a slight chuckle.
Silence passed between them again until Rebecca said, "And I thought that my life had problems."
"Huh?"
"Look...Shinji. I don't mean to know much about life and what not, but I can tell that you have stuff going on in your life that no fourteen year should have to bear."
"I'm fifteen..."
"Big difference. Anyway...I believe that each person was put on this planet for a reason, and while I haven't figured out my reason, I still believe that. As for you...when all else fails, follow what your heart says."
"My heart?"
"Yeah, its usually more correct then the brain at least. And for...well, whatever you do, maybe its okay to not have a legitimate reason. Its what you feel at the time thats important after all. Are you protecting somebody?"
'If you knew that I was protecting you and all the citizens of Tokyo-3 what would you say?' wondered Shinji.
"Yeah, I'm protecting people."
"Then isn't it enough to know that you prevented there deaths from happening?"
"But its not like that...its different...but I can't explain it without telling you everything."
"Then why not just tell me? You certainly seem like you need someone to talk to."
Should he? Should he really tell a total stranger that he's barely known for twenty minutes the inner working of Nerv? He could almost hear Misato's voice as it yelled at him in his head.
"I really shoul-"
Shinji was suddenly cut off as something that sounded like twenty fire truck sirens exploded into the open air. Sending him down onto all fours, he covered his ears up and tried to cut out the sudden wailing. Next to him, it seemed that Rebecca was doing likewise, though she seemed to understand what it was.
As the wailing subsided, and the ringing in Shinji's ears dissipated, Shinji saw Rebecca hurry to her feet and starting cursing suddenly.
"God damn it! Why the fuck is the damn siren directly above this fucking shop."
"What was tha-" Shinji started asking, though she cut him off.
"Its the evacuation siren. Surely you've experienced this before? God knows they've been opening up the shelters enough recently."
"Shelters...what?"
"Come on! We've gotta move to the nearest one."
"But I..."
'Angel attack,' his mind suddenly whispered to him.
It had to be, there was no other explanation, and without him, they were short one extra pilot.
'Then what should I do?' he asked himself. 'Ignore it? Continue on and act as though everything was perfectly fine. Abandoned everybody that he had come to know?'
Shinji, who had just stepped outside the small shop and onto the pavement suddenly stop dead in his tracks and jerked Rebecca's hand, which had been holding onto his wrist.
"Shinji wha-"
Rebecca gasped as she felt Shinji's arm suddenly go slack in her grasp, and next second his legs gave out from under him, as he fell forwards into her chest.
"Shin-"
Shinji's eyes flew open as he let out a blood curdling scream. Like a tree struck by lightning, his head suddenly felt as though it had been cloven in two and was on fire. Grabbing the spot where the temples where located on either side of his head, he staggered backwards out of Rebecca's chest, and slammed the back of his head into the brick wall of the cafe. A small stream of blood started flowing behind his head now, and some be seen congealing in his eyebrows.
Why now? Why did it have to happen now of all times? But really, he should have expected that. They always came when something he was doing affected the lives of somebody greatly.
A vision struck Shinji so greatly that he had blacked out momentarily, his eyes glazing over. In that short time span of him being unconscious, it felt as though he had seen enough horrible things to right a book on them, when really, in reality, it had lasted no longer then a second.
Tokyo-3 as he had known it, was no more. A giant crater instead stood where Tokyo-3 had once stood, a crater that no meteorite could have caused. Some buildings from the remains of Tokyo-3 lay scattered around the land scape, as though a small infant had picked them up, only to discard them later as it found a new toy. The Sea of Tokyo had filled the vast majority of the large crater, except that it no longer supported any form of marine wildlife; the sea had turned a blood red.
Shinji then felt himself being pulled violently backwards as he witnessed the cause of everything. It had been an angel that descended on them, the likes of which they had never fought before. The AT-field was impossible to penetrate.
Shinji watched as Misato gave the order for the deployment of all the Eva's, though in truth it was only one. The dummy plug was inserted into units 01 and 02, though to no avail. Shinji couldn't understand why unit 02 hadn't responded to the signal though. Eventually Commander Ikari gave the order for Rei's deployment with Asuka backing her up, though it seemed that Misato had to refute that. Even though she was speaking against the Commander, her voice seemed unusually strong, as though she had finally come to terms with something. She told the Commander that under no circumstances was Asuka able to pilot. Even Ritsuko backed up her statement with a brief summary of Asuka's mental health and it clearly stated that any contact with an Evangelion would surely send her into a coma. Eventually Rei was forced to deploy by herself and stall while they searched for Shinji. That had been particularly hard to watch, as the Shinji from this vision had long since died off, figuratively speaking of course.
Rei deployed, and attempted to destroy the angels AT-field, but it had all but proved immune to all attacks. Eventually, she was forced to detonated an N2 bomb point blank in the angels face, but that had proved to do more harm than good, as much of the armor plating of 00 was melted off in the ensuing explosion.
The angel completely ignored Rei and Unit 00 after this and proceeded to destroy most of the armor plating layers that separated Tokyo-3 from the Geofront. Doing this last part exceptionally well, it slowly descended into the narrow hole that it had opened up in the Geofront. Breaking into Central Dogma was now all but too easy, as the minor defenses that Nerv had implemented had never been strong enough to combat an angel. In a last ditch effort to destroy the angel, Commander Ikari had given the JSDF authorization to drop several N2 bombs inside the Geofront. The N2 bombs barely even fazed the angel, since the AT-field completely protected it from any outside harm.
What was probably the hardest part of Shinji however was when he witnessed what happened to Asuka. Misato had given authorization to move Asuka out of the medical facilities and move her into one of the underground bunkers that littered the landscape of the Geofront. If only she had realized the gravity of her decision.
This had been different then Shinji's previous dreams about Asuka, in the sense that this was more gruesome, if that was even physically possible. The hardest part, was that Asuka had been awake and conscious throughout it all, able to feel the pain as her body was ripped apart, and Shinji was able to feel the pain that she had felt.
The underground bunker that she had been moved to, was little more than a small room surround by metal, and in hind site, the metal box that she was incased in produced the hurt and tragedy.
When the angel descended, it continued firing off its AT-field, ripping apart the ground beneath it as though it were splitting the Red Sea, except this gouge in the Earth stayed like that. The pieces of earth that had been ripped apart were flung through the air like a rag dog, tearing trees and small buildings that housed some residents of the Geofront. Part of the earth that the angel had ripped apart, housed the bunker that Asuka was being kept in.
The bunker was completely sheared in two, leaving a gaping hole in the roof. Twisted pieces of metal lay scattered across the floor, and one piece in particular piqued his attention.
Asuka's right arm had been penetrated straight through by the chunk of metal, splintering the bone in the process. Blood boiled to the surface and leaked over the side of the arm and started dripping onto the floor. Asuka let out a loud moan of despair as the pain suddenly hit her like a ton of bricks. Attempting to amend the pain, she grasped the end of the metal stake with her left, clenched her teeth, and pulled as hard as her frail body would allow her. She only succeeded in causing herself more pain.
Her vision started to grow foggy from the blood loss, and finally she stood up and attempted to wrench the door open that would grant her freedom. However, it wouldn't budge. Behind the door, the opposite wall and the roof above had caved in and crumbled, creating an affective barrier against her freedom.
Staggering backwards, she turned around and pressed her back against the cold metal door and said in a quite voice that seemed devoid of life, "Is anyone...there? Someone...please! Help!"
Shinji felt completely helpless as he watched Asuka scratch her finger nails against the metal door. The sounds that echoed off the metal walls sounded like a banshee's screech.
Eventually, Asuka slid down the metal door and rested at the bottom of it with her left hand wrapped around the twisted piece of metal that was perturbing out of her arm. Giving an almighty wrench, she attempted to pull it out again, but this time managed to split the palm of her hand open, created a new stream of blood. Soon the floor beneath was covered in bright red fluid, as her body's life force was slowly drained away.
Shinji attempted to turn away from the horrific scene, by he found that his body was simply refusing to obey him, almost as though a supernatural force was rooting him to the stop, forcing him to watch the outcome of a possible decision of his.
With an almighty explosion, Shinji saw a brief flash of orange that he was barely able to pick up as the angel ripped apart the earth again, this time sending up a large cloud of dust into the air. Gazing at the angel momentarily, he saw that what was considered its head had two sunken, gleaming red eyes, peering out of the skull. Next second, another explosion of brilliant orange light flashed outward from the angel, though this time Shinji could have sworn he saw it shoot out of its eyes, as though it was some sort of laser.
Tearing his gaze away from the angel, he looked back to the spot where Asuka had been, only to be surprised that she had vacated her spot, and was slowly plodding towards the new gaping hole in the wall that the angel had created with the second explosion. Asuka seemed to be on the verge of collapsing, as her body's functions started to break down, and it was all she could do to force herself to keep moving. At this point, Shinji had attempted to reach out in his mind to her, determined that because it was her, and because of him possessing angel powers, that he would be able to call out to her. No such thing happened of course, since in all aspects, the Shinji thats decision had led to this scenario, was no longer even present. He had simply dropped out of reality. He had forsaken Asuka because of his own fears, and in doing so, had tossed away the relationship they once had.
As Asuka continued crawling towards her objective, Shinji saw it a split second before it happened, and in what was possibly a last attempt to communicate with her, reached his hand out towards her.
A metal beam directly above where Asuka was crawling suddenly snapped in two, as the bolts holding it in place could no longer contain the strain. The beam pierced her back and sheared through the flesh as it ripped apart her internal organs, before exiting through the other side, forcing her ribs to pop out through her white skin. The beam struck the concrete flooring with a loud 'clang,' as it chipped away some of the flooring, scattering pebbles everywhere. Blood gushed out of her open wound and flowed down the metal beam and onto the floor in a puddle. Likewise, blood surged up her throat before she vomited, pushing stomach bile mixed with blood out of her mouth, which slid down her chin and would eventually cake onto her face.
The only thing that could be thankfully said, was that she felt very little pain, as the beam had ripped apart the right ventricle of her heart and the aorta, killing her within seconds.
Without having a second to think about what had happened any clear than what he was currently watching, Shinji suddenly felt his entire body being jerked backwards as though an invisible hook grabbed the back of his shirt.
Darkness engulfed him and it felt as though he was being propelled down a dark tunnel with no end in sight. With the sleeve of his shirt flapping in the wind and his eyes starting to water from the shear speed he was falling at, Shinji suddenly felt himself hit the surface of something, and next second noticed that his body suddenly felt much heavier as the clothes he was wearing became soaked as they absorbed the large body of blood red water that he had fallen in.
Attempting to claw his way to the surface where sweet fresh air awaited him, he suddenly noticed another presence with him in the watery depths. Turning towards this new presence, he suddenly found himself facing a mirror in all this blackness. Though instead of his own reflection looking back at him, he saw-
"Disgusting isn't it, what one small choice can do," replied the pseudo Asuka.
"Stop it!" Shinji yelled
"Why should I? You don't seem to get it. You don't seem to get the fact what your decisions can lead to. Think of it this way, you are standing on a path, and this path can lead to multiple directions. Within these multiple directions are other directions, and thousands like it. From the very moment you stepped into her world, you have slowly been leading down a path of destruction. You cannot turn away from what awaits you."
"This isn't it!"
"No, it may not be, but something like it is a possibility in the all too distant future. How many angels are left including this one...three...four?"
"I'm human, as human I make wrong decisions."
"But you don't change, and you never will! You keep thinking the same pathetic things. 'Don't hurt me. Don't abandon me. Make me exist. Hold me! Love me!' Such petty human things disgust me so much that I almost wish that you had died long before it ever came to this. But things have, so deal with your problems and stopped winning and complaining to other people about your problems. What does it take for you to realize it? Do I have to rip apart the flesh of somebody near to you? Should I take the form of a human dear to you and rip apart your heart from within?"
The mirror in front of him suddenly changed and Shinji's own reflection was suddenly looked back at him, except this Shinji was different. This Shinji had blood red eyes, and a killing intent that forced people to scatter at his very presence. Behind him lay a torrent of fire and death. Before him lay a skinny boy no more then fifteen who was seeing his other self. His angel self.
"I'm...an angel?"
"No," replied the entity that stood in front of him. "You are not, but you have angel blood flowing through you, as well as your DNA structure which consists of extra chromosomes."
"How did this happen?"
"I can't say, for you are not ready to know. Do not make the same mistake that I made."
"...What mistake?"
"I followed a different path then the one you followed...it led to this ending."
Shinji suddenly found himself witnessing the aftermath of the battle with the angel Zeruel. Death and devastation lay everywhere, bodies where flung left and right, large buildings where toppled, dried blood lay caked on the roads and streets.
"What...happened?"
"I abandoned my human half and completely absorbed the angel part of me. Every human became my enemy...I purged the entire planet of all humans using Evangelion Unit 01 and my powers. Soon the angels will refurbish the Earth and start another rebuilding..."
"Another rebuilding?"
"It is a cycle that has gone on for billions of years. The angels are nothing more then energy beings, and they constantly expel energy in order to create life, life force if you will. At least the majority of them do. The flesh that you see is simply to give them a definable shape.
"Adam and Lilith are special. They alone created humans. Adam hallowed your bodies and created the limbs and bodily functions that you take for granted. Lilith created your souls, and in doing so, who you are as a person. The other angels create life as they see fit. Some are in charge of plants, while others are in charge of animals. Even the very air that you breath was created by us. The Earth had been polluted by humans, or the Lilim if you prefer. They were an experiment, nothing more, but Adam and Lilith saw that they were flawed. They became greedy of what they saw around them and wanted more. They built large factories which expelled great amounts of carbon monoxide and other poisons. The rivers, the lakes, the oceans, look everywhere and you will see the decay of things."
Shinji was speechless as his other self continued its rant.
"I abandoned my human self, and became the non-existent nineteenth angel, which never should have been. I killed everyone and everything and have ushered in a new beginning, but I am still you. No matter how much I despise who I am or who you are as a person, I am still Shinji Ikari, and that wont change. Do not do what I did. You are not ready for the truth of who you are. It will drive you crazy, insane, and you'll kill everyone you hold dear. Even as I killed them I did not feel anything, and yet my eyes still cried. I pulled apart there bodies with the greatest ease and not once did I feel as though what I was doing was wrong. I think I might have even laughed at one point while I killed everyone."
"You are not me," Shinji suddenly said.
"Yes I am! I am the you that diverged on a different path. I am the you that tore Misato's head off with my own hands! I am the you that killed his own father and then bathed in his blood. I am the you that gouged Rei's eyes off and disemboweled her. I am the you that cut Asuka's arms and legs off and proceeded to rape her-"
Shinji suddenly punched the mirror in front of him with all his might. His fist went straight through it as though it had never been there, and from Shinji's perspective it hadn't. It had simply disappeared as though it had been a mirage underwater.
"I am not you," Shinji repeated. "I will never be you. You may look and sound like me, but you aren't. I would sooner kill myself then do that to my friends."
"Maybe you aren't so weak after all."
Shinji spun around under the water and turned to face the pseudo Asuka.
"Did you do that?"
"No...I didn't. That was the subconscious part of your mind trying to draw out your angel self. Quite frankly I thought you would have relented and become the nineteenth angel. As I said, you are stronger than I thought."
"Is what he said true...about the choices he made."
"Yes, it is very true. For you, as a human, decisions are everything. What you decide to do when you wake up in the morning may be crucial to what you will do later in the day. The same concept applies here."
Shinji looked at the thing that resembled Asuka exactly and finally said, "I know I've asked this roughly a hundred times by now...but who are you?"
The pseudo Asuka sighed and said, "You wont know till the end, if you make it there."
"And what is at the end of everything?"
The pseudo Asuka smiled slightly and said, "The Tree Of Life."
"And what exactly is that?"
"You'll know eventually."
"Big help...but thanks anyway."
"The pseudo Asuka seemed rather taken aback and to Shinji, it seemed as though the human it was impersonating let through some very real Asuka like emotions for a moment before she said, "Why the thanks?"
"You helped me...sort a few things out, though in a rather disgusting way."
"Fear works best on you humans, and particularly when it governs that girl that your mind wanders over."
"I wont be able to sleep thanks to this for a week."
"Like you were getting much to begin with locked up in the white room anyway."
"...Then this is it?"
"...Yes it is, and it will be, for I shall not interfere with this anymore. Though I have one last thing I must ask."
"Whats that?"
"Do you understand what your power is, for that is essential for everything that comes after this."
Shinji stood gazing at the pseudo Asuka for a minute before saying, "If the angels are energy beings, and are able to create and manipulate things, there is one thing that they can't manipulate that humans can..."
"And that is?"
"Time," said Shinji simply.
The pseudo Asuka continued looking at him for a minute before saying, "Well its close enough for now. You'll learn more about it in time since you've theoretically awakened with the existence of your AT-field. For all intended purposes I suppose you are correct. Humans can control there own time by their decisions. Since you are both human and angel you can govern yours and other peoples time. But only humans, and those close or dear to you."
"I got it...I think."
"I really wonder about that," sighed the pseudo Asuka. "Anyway, time is getting short and you should get back soon."
"So this is goodbye I guess."
"Until the rebirth of the Tree of Life and the awakening of Tabris...yes...it is."
Shinji nodded and turned his back away from the pseudo Asuka, though he heard her suddenly say something behind him.
"Aren't you going to ask me something?"
"Like what?"
"'...Who am I?'"
Shinji paused for a second before he smiled and said, "I'm Shinji Ikari, and thats all I care about."
Shinji turned and suddenly the darkness disappeared to be replaced with a blinding whiteness that lit the entire space up. As Shinji disappeared into the whiteness, the pseudo Asuka stood still in his conscious mind before it sighed and said, "Maybe he really has changed, and if he has," here her eyes flash a brief scarlet as she whispered, "Maybe he can usher in the rebirth."
Without another word she vanished into a thin wisp of nothingness.
Shinji's eyes flew open as though he had received a sharp electric shock, and quite possibly he had, since Rebecca had slapped him none to gently across the face. Upon seeing that his eyes had finally opened, Rebecca opened her mouth in apology, but Shinji quickly cut her off. He had to move fast.
"Rebecca how long was I out!"
"I-I don't know, maybe thirty seconds at most."
"Where is the nearest shelter?"
"A few blocks that way," she replied as she gestured with her hand. "But what are you-"
"I can't explain now, I promise I will later. Just go there and stay there."
"What are you-"
"Listen," said Shinji as he grabbed her shoulder in a gesture which was both hurriedly and gentle. "I can't say much about what happened just now, probably never will. But you have to trust me on this, I'm going to go somewhere, do something to help you and everyone. When I'm done I'll come back and see you...and I'll bring a friend if possible."
"That girl that you like?"
Before Shinji even bothered thinking about what she said, he replied, "Yes, I'll bring Asuka."
"So her names Asu-"
Shinji quickly cut her off again by saying, "Not now...Go, just Go!"
Rebecca looked down at his face, which wasn't all that far from hers really and said, "Its a promise."
Bringing him into a one armed hug, she let her hair fall over onto his face and past his shoulders.
"You stay safe Shinji, you're a good kid."
"I'm not a kid."
"No...I don't suppose you are."
Straightening up, Rebecca nodded and said, "I'll make you and this Asuka something special, instead of just grabbing something out of the refrigerator next time."
Shinji nodded and smiled slightly, before he turned around and started sprinting in the opposite direction.
Rebecca watched his retreating back for a second before she too proceeded on her way.
Meanwhile, Zeruel touched down in Tokyo-3 and started the destruction that awaited the city.
Very different then what I've done before as you probably see...