How to Train Your Keyblade
I hope you all enjoy! This chapter took me a while to get to and I apologize. Also it's a little choppy in once place at the end, but that's how it's supposed to be.
Lesson 6: Struggle and Bare it.
Pain shoots through me and I feel my entire arm being thrown back, I hope no one's behind me as I spin because of the force being used to thrust my arm back. Once my arm finally stops after all the effort I've put into trying to force it to stop my eyes are wide and I can feel my heart drumming against my ribs and my lungs rapidly taking in air in short breathy gasps.
"Roxas!" I realize that my arm almost hit Hiccup and I hold it to my side with my left. I know my face is going red, but I don't know if it's because I'm embarrassed that this is happening or because I don't know why the hell it's happening.
I spend a moment glaring at the ground, Axel is asking me something and sounds concerned, Winner looks absolutely frightened as he moves his head under my right hand and forces my palm flat against his head. Hiccup and Astrid are trying to relax Axel slightly, but all any of this ambient noise is doing is making me utterly and completely pissed!
Winner changing black catches a fragment of my attention, but I ignore him as Axel grabs my left shoulder and spins me so I'm facing him, not really seeing him as I'm still trying to glare at the ground- even though his coat's in the way now.
"Roxas! Roxas! What the hell's going on?" Axel jars me a little and I snap out of it long enough to push his hands off my shoulders and turn away from the Dark Corridor.
I ignore all of them as I make my way to one of the more predominant boulders and I pull myself up with a bit of Winners help, he slid his shoulder into just the right place when I needed it and I'm glade that we have the connection to be able to do that right now as I finish pulling myself onto the boulder.
"Roxas! Talk to me dammit!" what, he's allowed to be moody and I cant be? He should get rid of his double standard.
"Axel, just shut up and give him a minute will you? Isn't he supposed to be able to go through those?" why is Astrid sticking her nose into my business? Don't I get just a little bit of freaking privacy?
"Of course! Even non-Nobody's can go through them! I don't understand why this is happening. But I need to find out." it sounds like he's going to leave… do I mean that little to him that he's going to leave me on an island with no way off. Oh My Kingdom Hearts! I'm stuck here!
"Hey… relax Axel, think calmly. If you don't relax right now he's not going to for sure." Hiccup always knows so much… but I'm not freaking out… am I? Alright, I might be freaking out a little, but I can only not summon a Dark Corridor, but I'm unable to pass through one if it is summoned! This so isn't fair!
I take a deep breath and let it out as Winner tucks his head under my arm and sets his chin on my lap. I take a moment to look down at him and see his bright blue, endless eyes looking up at me like saucers and let out a sigh of defeat. I'll be fine if I stay here… I wanted to stay here. It just must be the thought of being unable to leave that's once again scaring me.
"Hey Roxas… do you want to come down now so we can all talk?"
"What's the point? I'm stuck here and pretty soon your dad is going to be barreling down the path to set me on fire for bringing Heartless here and being able to heal a wound on my dragon that should have killed it."
"Wow… if that isn't detailed I don't know what is. But what your forgetting- and you said it yourself… is he's MY dad… that kinda means I know how he thinks. And I've got a plan- and a pretty good one at that. Now come down so I can share it." I turn my head to the side and look at Hiccup as he stands there, favoring his right leg with a bit of a smile on his face, but I can tell he's reproachful of me at the moment.
I nod my head once and don't really say anything as I slide down the boulder and walk over where Axel is sitting with Ryo and Fyr, a glare on his face and his hand under his chin as he scowls at the ground for no reason. I sit down beside Axel and pull my knees up to my chin, wanting to be held but knowing by his face that the possibility of that is quiet low.
I hide the power part of my face and look at the ground myself, ready to just sit and listen to Hiccup as soon as he starts talking.
Before Hiccup even takes a breath I feel Axel's long arm snake behind my shoulders and it pulls me towards him until my shoulder is tucked under his arm and my head is on his shoulder. I feel his fingers in my hair and as soon as he starts rubbing I open my mouth to ask him why he's doing this when he cuts me off.
"You look more lost then I am… just relax for a minute and we'll think about why and how once Hiccup's done with his brilliant plan." it doesn't sound like he has too much faith in Hiccup, but that's just who he is: independent and a very smart thinker. He's just used to thinking for himself and doing on his own, Axel isn't really a team kind of guy unless it involves me on missions as I found in the Organization. Apparently he wouldn't team up with anyone but me once I got there.
Hiccup sits down across from us and Astrid finishes off the half circle by sitting between Axel and Hiccup as the brunette takes up a stick and starts drawing in the dirt. I see Toothless behind him, looking at the drawing with wide, happy eyes. I cant help but smile too before relaxing my eyes so I can just feel Axel beside me.
"Alright… now this is just a doodle, but it shows what any map we have back at the village will… plus a little more. There is a way for the two of you to stay here, in the general area, and stay out of my fathers grasp for as long as you need to.
"You see… this right here is the main Island, we're here in the cove, and right there is the Village. Now all the two of you have got to do is get on your dragons, and fly in this general direction- you'll need a fair supply of food and previsions before you leave though.
"This is a mist border that we Vikings Never cross- and for very good reason. Somewhere inside the mist is a place only dragons can actually find. It's their island in retrospect, but since I lost my leg no one has ever had a need to go there because we're on good terms with the dragons and we're not about to kill them for no reason now." I nod my head and watch as his hand moves over the map, memorizing every movement in my mind so I know what everything represents and what it all is and directions.
"Now, what the two of you have to do is go here, set up a camp… maybe explore a fair bit of the island if you want, and then when this all blows over with my dad I'll come and get you, I can give you a better detailed description of what I remember of the island, but to be honest it's not much… I just remember the big things that aren't very important." I nod my head and watch as he points to a blob with a dragon head on it in the sand.
"Alright… so, what do we do if the thing with your dad doesn't blow over and he's refusing to believe that we didn't do it." Axel sounds like he's about ready to blow his top and I understand why- or at least I think I do. This all goes back to a Viking with stubbornness issues, so how the hell are we supposed to deal with that in the right or wrong way? Don't we have to go over a bunch of things and talk before just deciding that we're going to let some crazed Viking control our lives with fear?
Cant Axel and I just get rid of- shit! I'm starting to think that way again… and I don't want to. I CAN'T think that like again! The minute I start thinking I can get anything I want by killing someone is the minute I truly become a member of Organization XIII and I refuse to believe I ever was a member of that stupid group of Nobodies who don't give a damn about anything or anyone!
"So… are you two of you alright with trusting me?"
"Yes." I spoke before I really thought, but it's Hiccup, this is the guy I've spent hours on a roof talking to, knowing his problems and his story, telling him some of my problems and being completely unable to see Axel. Hiccup helped me through all of that, so trusting him is like second nature now… at least it feels like it.
I feel Axel tense behind me for a moment before he lets out a sigh and I feel him rest his chin on the top of my head as he taps his fingers on my upper arm. I'm not sure if I've surprised him now, dammit.
"Axel… do you trust me?" Hiccup looks a little unsure and I can see he's checking me out of his peripheral to see what my reaction to Axel is.
"Sorry… I thought that was pretty basic and known: I trust anyone Roxas trusts. If he's willing to follow your crazy directions, then I'll follow." I notice Astrid glaring flat out at Axel. I want to shoot her my own glare, but I restrain my eyes and look back at Hiccup instead since I know Astrid just looks after Hiccup like I look after Axel.
"Alright then… I'll give you guys my list of plants and animals that are good for eating, it basically says what their good for and what you'll have to do to prepare it. I do however highly suggest that you stick to it since there are so many horrible plants and animals out there that can kill you." I nod my head as he pulls a fairly thick book out of his satchel and I realize that he's completely prepared with a tent and a pot too.
We spend a bit more time talking over some things and I find my patients wearing just a little thin after going through three books that were pretty self explanatory and Hiccup giving us further instructions on how to get to the island. But I keep reminding myself that he's just worried about us because we're friends.
I stand up before Axel since I've been leaning further into him then before and I stretch out a bit, hearing and feeling the vertebra in my back pop a few times as I roll my neck and shoulders. Maybe if I give Axel a back massage he'll return the favor even? Mmm, a back massage sounds so good right about now, my muscles are wound tighter then a violin string and it feels like a few are ready to snap.
"Hellooooo, earth to Roxas! Space-case, what're you thinking about?" Axel spins me around and I answer before really thinking.
"Massage, violins, you." Axel's eyes go wide for a minute and I catch his smirk too late and I know he's going to say something stupid and perverted since he's ducked his head out of my reach.
"Well… I didn't know you were that passionate Roxas… but it'd have to be you playing the violin before hand because I cant- unless your thinking about having a third party watch and play the violin while we partake in-"
"Axel! Shut! Up!" I lunge at him and as he blocks my hands that are raising for his mouth but he doesn't even see my knee that headed right for his 'family jewels' as I've heard Xigbar say so many times.
He crumples over and I dust my hands a bit before gently petting his head. "I guess you need to learn not to ask me questions when I'm spacing out: Coal-Breath" I roll my shoulders a few times before turning towards Winner and seeing that there is a small pile of things that need to be strapped to his back so we can head off.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
The island is dismal really, we haven't had much time to explore yet, but all we see is rock, dirt, and a big mountain Hiccup gave EXACT INSTRUCTIONS NOT TO ENTER! So, we're leaving the giant gaping hole alone for the moment and trying to set up the tent as far away from the ocean and the gaping hole as we can.
The tent is fairly small and I know we're going to be close, I caught Hiccup's wink as he gave it to me and I so desperately wish that he hadn't been thinking of my libido and had been more concerned with my emotions and the fact that I'm mad at Axel right now- wait a minute… why am I mad at him? Oh right, teasing me. God, I cant believe that took me a minute.
"Hey Roxie, do me a favor and pick up that corner will you?" I snap out of it and look over to see Axel struggling with the tent and motioning for me to grab the corner closest to me.
"Your such a dork… you cant even pitch a tent?" I roll my eyes and walk over to where he is and take the stitched hide out of his hands. "Give me this." Axel lets it go and steps back with a sneer, obviously thinking I don't know how to do something as simple as pitching a tent.
I'm not really sure how I'm doing it, but my body just seems to know how to do this, and I haven't even seen a tent pitched before so I have no idea how I can do this.
"Well, well, well… aren't you the little camper Roxie?" Axel draped himself over me as I finish pitching the tent and wipe the sweat from my brow. I shrug Axel off, not wanting to be nice until he stops teasing me about my feelings.
"Hey… you alright Roxas?" Axel catches my wrist and I'm forced to stop walking towards the dragons to get the sleeping bags.
"Yeah, I'm fine, what of it?"
"Your being… different, is something wrong?" I turn my head and see the concern in his face, but I just cant bare to talk with him about it right now. I shake my head again and pull my wrist out of his hand and give a slight smile.
"I'm fine, how about we finish setting up camp before exploring the island?" Axel looks a little perturbed but he lets me go and I start walking towards the pile of furs and pillows that Astrid had managed to fit into a bag- quite astonishing since it looked like there were enough soft things to recreate the 'nest' I had back in my room in the Organization. I'd had so many blankets and soft things on my bed that it's surprising that I hadn't suffocated myself.
As soon as we're set up I realize that night has fallen and exploring the island for anything in any of the books that Hiccup has given us is nothing but suicide. The moon is nothing more then a sliver and the black sky is flecked with so many stars I cant help but sigh as I look up.
"Hey… I thought you were tired." Axel's had a fire going since we found the dried driftwood and I know he's right, I did say I'm tired, but I just cant sleep without looking at the sky; even in the World that Never Was the sky would be something I had to look at before going to bed.
"We'll explore in the morning, your going to get cold if you don't come in here and start warming up your spot." that's a bit of a laugh, we just set out a primary hide with no fur on it to cover the ground- it stretched further then the upper part of the tent -and we've piled all the pillows and blankets in there like a big ball of fur. And aside from all of that; it's impossible for me to freeze with Axel and Winner here… I can stay out all night and they wont allow me to freeze.
I follow Axel into the tent anyhow and burrow into the lump of fur with a smile on my face; with all the fur around us Axel and I are unlikely to touch- on second thought: thank you Astrid! Though, I suppose it might have been Hiccup who chose the fur… it was certainly our choice on how to set it up though.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
I'm standing in darkness, this is odd since I'm incapable of entering Dark Corridors and last I checked I was with Axel in the tent. The sound of a giggle startles me and I'm suddenly looking up at a bright blue sky, a few clouds are marring the perfect color.
It's bright and I think I'm squinting, but right away I notice a young girls face appear with a bright smile on her face "Whoa!" I cant really feel myself moving, but I know I am. "Hey, give me a break-." I sit up and turn around so I'm looking at her.
"Sora you lazy bum!" her smile and tone is completely contradictory to what she's saying and I'm completely confused: I'm not Sora… I've only heard that name before… though I cant remember where… and the girl, I think I remember a few people talking about her and some girl in Castle Oblivion a lot, but I've never seen her, so why does she look familiar?
The scene suddenly changes to a boy, with fairly long silver hair and blue eyes. "So I guess I'm the only one working on the raft!" he tosses a log at me but I catch what he says next "And your just as lazy as he is!" again, the tone is loose and joyous, so these people are obviously friends of a sort.
I can see myself though the boy- I'm pretty sure it's Sora -'s perspective, and I'm racing the silver haired kid who's yet to be named… I know that I know that face from somewhere though- I just don't know where. It's oddly vivid though.
The sound of the boy speaking comes into my head now, and it sounds profound… isn't he too young for that? It's a sunset suddenly and he's saying: "If there are any other worlds out there… why did we end up on this one? And suppose there are other worlds… then ours is just a little piece f something much greater. So, we could have just as easily ended up somewhere else, right?" a few words are passed between the three of us, but I'm not really sure what's being said since it sounds muffled, almost as if hands are covering my ears.
The scene changes again to a bridge, a fairly rickety looking thing to be honest though, the girl is in front and I'm behind her, and the silver haired, unnamed boy is right behind me.
"Sora!" I turn around against my will and something yellow is thrown at me, I catch it and look down at the star shaped fruit. "You wanted one, didn't you?" the boy asks.
"A Poupu fruit?" what the hell is that? It sounds familiar, but it's another one of those stupid almost memory things! God I hate this dream, the word even came out of this 'Sora' boy's mouth! Ugh!
"If two people share one, their destinies become intertwined. They'll remain a part of each other's lives no matter what. C'mon, I know you wanna try it." I say something but the sound is muffled again and everything goes black before I can fully take in the gorgeous sunset that reminds me more of the Clock Tower then the sunset from Berk or this new Dragon island I'm on.
Everything stars to happen in flashes now the boy, the girl, smiles, laughter. Two odd faces, one being a white duck and the other being extremely dog-like, show up making stupid faces and the person who's eyes I'm seeing through laughs.
I'm suddenly back in the darkness and another voice is reaching me, this time it sounds like Sora's (Where have I heard that name before? Kingdom Hearts it's pissing me off!)
"I've been having these, weird thoughts lately. Is any of it real… or not?" a sudden weight is slammed against my chest and I'm floating again- wait a minute, didn't I already have this dream, before I joined the Organization?
Images flash through my mind again, too many and too quickly to count and I don't know if their mine, or pigments of this weird dream I cant get out of. Axel is suddenly there though and it feels like the endless photo reel has stopped on our time together.
"Hey Roxas! Care to join us all for the party?" I honestly have no idea how many 'parties' Demyx had in the Organizations pool that he basically forced Xemnas to buy, saying it was to help him 'train for combat' he didn't need a body of water… he could make the shit out of nothing! I shook my head that day to the offer but Axel had slipped his arm around my waist and dumped me into the pool.
I'd been so fucking mad at him! I had wanted to pick him up and throw him as far as I could- wait no! Axel!
The images has started to retreat, it's accompanied by images of the three from that pretty island place I think I visited on a few missions, but I really just want Axel's picture back for my dream.
"Axel!" I don't know how far my voice is carrying, but it's making it impossible to not cry because the image of his freaking smiling face isn't stopping!
My lungs are starting to burn and I'm feeling really hot and tired from exhaustion. The images still haven't stopped retreating and I've been chasing them for at least an hour- though this dream-time might be messed up. "Axel! Come back, please!" it's a picture, I should be feeling like that's the real him, but it feels too real. It looks too real; like he's going to start talking and breathing through the picture at any moment.
"You'll never be able to catch them Roxas… your not strong enough yet." Saïx? Wait, no- not Saïx, Xemnas? What's he doing in MY dream? I hate his filthy black guts! I sneer at the voice but it keeps talking anyhow. "You, Roxas… do not have the ability to know who these precious people are… you cant even know their names." so many more faces and people pass through my vision and I know I've never seen any of them before, but they seem familiar.
"You are the one who will open the door." that time it wasn't Xemnas… who was it? It was a girls voice, at least… it sounded like one. My body is starting to shake and I don't know what's going on anymore as the voices start to talk again.
"Hold the light inside yourself… it will never go out."
"Your Nothing but darkness, Roxas… it's all you were made for. To serve it, and you haven't even done that right!"
"Are you ready to open the door? Don't be afraid, just keep a steady pace and you'll be fine."
"You don't even know answers to simple questions! You have no idea why the hell the Keyblade chose you! You don't even remember who Sora is! Ha! You cant possibly think your strong enough to keep running from us! Your Nobody Roxas!"
"You have the power to do many great things… just as long as that light inside you, never goes out!"
"I don't care what your friends tell you! You have no true friends! You are incapable of emotions! That means you cant make friends!"
The voices are getting so loud that I think I'm going to split in two. Xemnas is so harsh even in my own dreams!
"Hold your Light! The door will appear to you if you do that!"
"The only way you can become strong enough to find the answers you seek is to once again give yourself over to Darkness Roxas… give in to what's in your nature."
I shake my head and hold my hands over my ears even though the voices don't stop, I feel like I'm being smothered, the darkness around me is starting to move and it's starting to cover me, like it's living weight that wants to smother me.
I'm starting to breathe heavier as the darkness is creeping into my clothes and touching me with an icy grip that I didn't know was possible. This darkness touching me feels colder then Vexen's hands and I'm surprised at how warm I've been over the last few minutes.
This cant be a dream anymore, there is no freaking way! This is too freaky for a dream! I'm dieing, being eaten and withered away by darkness, all I've known as life is nothing more then a big dream filled with smaller ones… oh how Axel would laugh if he thought I actually liked him, if I cared enough to tell him before I woke up to darkness that would have been better… but I couldn't even tell a dream, I'm pathetic.
The fate of all Nobody's is to fade back into darkness, to become one with it and help consume the next victim… we'll help create Heartless, and more Nobodies at the same time. But we'll just become part of yet another bigger picture.
I only wonder… if my fate is to become part of the 'bigger picture' then who's fate is it… to finally see that picture, once it's completely painted?
AN:
Me: wow… that was a uh… interesting ending. Sorry… I really need to stop listening to angst break up moosic when I'm writing -_-'
Roxas: I liked it! It had some freaking emotion in it! You still havent been able to re-create that one scene where everyone reading it cried… but I'm sure you will!
Me: waaaaaaah! You weren't supposed to mention that Roxas! Sh-Shika… can you throw him out for me please?
*Shikamaru kindly escorts Roxas out of my office* (My office is my bedroom with a big LaZeBoy)
Axel: the next chapter will be a bit brighter… I hope, I don't know… I'm not allowed to see the plot because of spoiler issues Elizabeth and I have: I like giving spoilers, and she hates me for it! XD
Naruto: wow… I'm glad Kingdom Hearts hasn't come to my world yet- oh shit… did I just give you an idea Elizabeth?
Me: unfortunately not… I've tried to write a story based in your world… but it didn't work right… I had 4 unposted chapters, but I got so pissed at it I deleted them.
Naruto: wow! That's amazing! Four chapters of shit, I'm impressed!
Me: Shika!
Shikamaru: Alright… I'm on it… everyone but Gaara out!
Hiccup: can I stay?
Me: oh, you were being so quiet… I almost forget you where there! Sure, and you can introduce Gaara!
Hiccup: here's Gaara of the sand!
Gaara: please review… I'm Afraid Elizabeth is going to have a mental breakdown otherwise… she needs to smile right now.