Chapter 68!
Title: 'Peace and Gossip'
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Note: Well, since there were literally dozens (just two of them, haha) of reviews within the first 24 hours of the last chapter's release, I've buckled down and finished this chapter today.
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You guys are amazing!
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Hope you enjoy it!
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Again, with a wave of uncomfortable nostalgia I tried to peek out of the left corner of my eye as discreetly as possible.
My eyes found his face.
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …
"Afuuu~~…. I looove bath houses." A sultry voice whispered on screen.…
…
This was a horrible idea.
…
These kids must have already lost a lot of respect for me after seeing this the first time.
He thought to himself as he stared at the screen with a mile-long stare, barely focusing on the upcoming smut.
They must think I'm a pervert.
… Well… more than before, at least.
…
His eyes focused just in time to see two half-naked bodies on screen pulling against each other, waist deep in the hot spring water and before he could try and remember what part of the book this was from his mind reached for the wrong reference and flashed back to that dream he'd tried to have forgotten hours ago. Her delicate, familiar hands brushing along his chest, her young fingers travelling down…
His eyes struggled against his better judgment and almost glanced at the girl sitting to his right, instead he barely caught a glimpse of her inappropriately familiar hands resting on her lap.
He looked away quickly, unable to withstand the amount of shame and longing that single moment gave him.
I am a pervert.
He sighed.
He suddenly didn't care at all about the movie; he brought his fingerless-gloved hand to his face, his fingertips rubbing his eyes tiredly as if he could rub the images of that dream out of his eyes. He rested his elbow on his left armrest and leaned away from the girl intentionally.
…
'I'm a pervert.'
He repeated mentally after he gathered his frayed mind.
I had thought that issue had some room for debate. That even though I read smutty love novels almost every day I thought I was responsible enough to everyone to keep those thoughts out of personal life and remain professional. I thought that even though I had a perverted streak people knew I was a responsibly leader and teacher first… now I'm starting to doubt that.
…
He remembered the feeling of his fingers combing and pulling the pink strands of the hair belonging to the girl sitting innocently to his right.
…
I must be a bigger pervert than I thought.
He kept his palm over his eyes, still trying to think this through without trying to think about her at all.
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …
My eyes found his face.
Or at least it would've, if it wasn't buried in his hand.
…
What's wrong with him?
I thought he loved this movie.
…
Well, I guess, looking back… he never really said he liked the movie. Even the other time I got the silly need to see what his expression was while watching the movie, he seemed completely bored… I still remember how shocked I was… Later on, he just said it different from the book, that it wasn't as… adult.
I still remember how embarrassed that had made me feel.
At that time we were already together, but just barely… and I couldn't help but think that if he was disappointed that this unquestionably smutty movie wasn't smutty enough, then that meant he had probably expected a lot of 'smut' from his relationships.
…
I nearly smiled to myself at the memory of little-worried-me.
I had no idea what I was in for.
Sure, Kakashi could get a little demanding sometimes…when he forgot himself…
But he never even tried to pressure me….
In fact, after some time it was almost like I was pressuring him.
Even the embarrassing conversation we had about this only a few days ago seemed to have become a fond memory right now.
…
But…
…
None of that matters anymore.
I told myself a little harshly.
I looked back to his face discreetly.
He wasn't even watching the screen anymore. He was just leaning into his hand like something was really bothering him.
He wasn't 'bored' like the last time we watched this movie… but he definitely wasn't interested. He almost seemed… upset.
It was actually almost like…
…
No.
That doesn't make sense.
…
I was about to think, 'it was almost like the way he'd act after pushing our relationship too far.'
That sullen posture and his lack of interest in anything around him.
I could still remember how difficult it was for me to try and talk him out of those moments of self-contempt and guilt.
But that's not what was going on.
I'm just reading too much into this…
He's probably just embarrassed about having us see what he reads all the time… or something.
Besides… he's not really the same man as before, is he?
I can't read him 'Kakashi-sensei' the same way I could've read 'Kakashi'…
Looking back, they're practically two different men…
He's Kakashi-sensei to his students and colleagues… to the world, really.
He was only ever 'Kakashi' with me.
…
So now that I'm not the same kind of part in his life as I once was…
Does that mean the 'Kakashi' I knew is actually gone?
…
No.
That's just stupid.
Of course he isn't gone.
But I probably won't ever get to know that side of him again, will I?
…
That thought hurt a lot more than I thought it would.
I stared at the screen with more conviction than necessary, not even caring about the amount of moaning and weirdness. I could feel my brows furrow.
I felt a little… angry.
But I didn't get time to think through the psychological reasons of why I might be angry with this awkward and confusing situation when I suddenly heard whispering from my right
Sai and Naruto were trying to be discreet, but… it was Sai and Naruto.
They were never quite that discreet when they talked.
"I already tried that once." Naruto reasoned without context.
I heard Sai whisper, but I couldn't hear.
"But it hurt!" Naruto objected loudly.
"You like her, don't you?" Sai asked.
Moment of awkward silence.
"Shuddup." Naruto muttered finally.
I had no idea what was going on, but after a few minutes more of the smut I was distracted again. This time by the sound of Naruto yawning from my right.
His arms stretched in the air.
Déjà vu hit me harder than I ever wanted it to.
I finally knew what Sai had been trying to convince Naruto to do.
In a few moments Naruto's arm with me strategically placed over my shoulders. And just like then, I'm already planning on jumping up and punching him in the face if he tries anything.
But then I feel a little sorry for him.
Sai was the one who convinced him to try again.
But why?
It hit me.
He wanted to make Kakashi-sensei jealous didn't he?
…
It's not going to work this time, Sai.
…
I almost sighed, but instead waited for Naruto to make his move so I could make mine, all the while I was cursing the gods for making this excruciating situation:
Why is Sai trying so hard?
Why is Naruto being stupid?
Why does this bother me so much?
WHY IS HISTORY REPEATING ITSELF?
I glanced over to Kakashi-sensei for a moment.
His face was still buried in his hand.
… well, I guess it won't really repeat itself this time.
… Maybe these things keep happening because the gods want me to know how things should've happened to begin with. How what happened between me and Kakashi-sensei, how everything between us, wasn't supposed to happen.
Maybe this is my chance to fix everything and… and pretend I had never messed up Kakashi-sensei's life…
Poised and ready to jump up and punch Naruto just like I had planned all those weeks ago when Naruto had tried this exact same trick back then, I still felt a sadness in me.
A heavy pool of sadness settling in my chest, weighing me down…. But I didn't care.
This was the way things had to be.
This was how it should've been.
Naruto's arm finally slowed down, hovering over my shoulders for a split second, as if he was hesitating.
I turned to the blond-haired boy, about to smack him when I realized I didn't have to.
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He noticed a black-sleeved arm creeping in from his left, hovering over the girl's shoulders.
The kid was actually making a move.
An old, out-dated move that was invented years before this kid was even born…
...
He should just overlook it.
...
It shouldn't matter to him.
..
He should ignore it.
…
...
...
He pulled back his hand from hitting away Naruto's, whose arm had been dangerously close to resting on the pink-haired girl's shoulder.
… I shouldn't have done that.
He immediately told himself.
He heard Naruto quickly turn to Sai and almost yell, "See?"
Kakashi didn't care.
He was stuck in his own thoughts right now.
I shouldn't have done that.
There was no reason to.
They're kids.
Let them settle these things for themselves.
I shouldn't have stopped him.
… But I just couldn't stop myself.
I just felt like I needed to…
He grimaced to himself only slightly when he realized why he would've stopped Naruto.
I can't be jealous.
I can't…
I've only realized these feelings hours ago… I shouldn't feel jealous over her already.
I shouldn't feel this possessive so fast.
…
I shouldn't feel 'possessive' at all!
He scolded himself mentally after a second thought.
If Naruto was finally trying to make a move, I should've just let him.
He's liked her for years, already.
Ever since their days at the Academy.
He's stayed by her side and has waited for her to notice him, patiently.
And I…
Something in him took a sickening twist when he realized the truth of his situation.
Right now, Naruto was the one closer to Sakura… closer to getting to her heart.
She knows he's liked her for over half their lives… and here he was, new to these feelings and already getting in Naruto's way.
He was the greenhorn here while Naruto was the one who knew what to do with these feelings.
That realization bothered him in several ways.
He wasn't a kid, he shouldn't be feeling like this.
He had already promised himself years ago that he wouldn't let himself get like this again. To weaken himself and his judgment with these kinds of feelings again.
But…
…
If Naruto, of all kids, has learned to keep his distance (most of the time) and control his feelings for her for all these years… then I can do the same for longer.
…
But… the only reason Naruto hasn't made a real move on her is because he's a kid.
He doesn't know how to start relationships as easily as Kakashi did. Naruto had years less of experience with women, he wasn't even sure if Naruto understood that girls thought differently than guys and wanted to be treated differently.
But that didn't matter, the real issue here was that…
Was that, for Kakashi, it was easier to reach out to her… because of his experience with women… and as a man, he knew how to charm and flirt with ease.
Though it would never be taught as part of the curriculum, there was one skill that most shinobi had to pick up on eventually, a skill that Naruto and Sakura hadn't pick up on –as far as he knew- and Kakashi had had to master years ago:
Seduction.
His hands tensed into fists.
What the hell am I thinking?
I know I can't go anywhere with these feelings!
Even if I wanted to, even if I know it would be easier for me, it's completely forbidden.
Any sort of unprofessional interaction between me and this girl is out of the question.
She's just a kid.
She has no idea what boys are like.
She had no idea what men are like.
That last thought stopped Kakashi's thoughts cold, his eyes looked at the screen but saw nothing when his thoughts suddenly filled up all of his attention.
He remembered the bite marks on the girl's neck.
The rough indentations an older man left on her.
She does know what men are like.
What the worst of us are like.
She knows much more than she should.
…
A girl her age… being attacked like that… she probably can't stand the thought of any man getting close to her…
…
She's afraid of me because of it.
…
And that's good.
He tried to convince himself, ignoring how his brows were pulling together in something like frustration after his mind wandered to his next thought.
If I even managed to win myself into her trust and get closer to her… I'd probably only hurt her in the same way.
I wouldn't be able to stop myself would I?
From hurting her…
I would never intend to… but… I would anyways, wouldn't I?
…
Especially with the way she is now. Sensitive and broken…-his jaw tensed unconsciously at that thought-… I would only confuse her, betray her trust, and give her more pain and trauma…
…
She needs someone else.
Someone the exact opposite of me.
He told himself, trying to ignore the raising sense of frustration with himself.
…
She deserves a naïve and romantically-shy boy… like Naruto.
That thought went against the grain, he really didn't like the thought of those two together…
…
He wouldn't hurt her.
He might annoy her, and they would probably get into fights every day… but Naruto isn't the type of kid to hurt anything more than her patience.
He would treat her right… once he does manage to build up the guts to get closer to her.
He's only kept away from her this long because he doesn't know how relationships start and work… in a year or two when they're both adults, when he's grown up and has learned more about women, then maybe those two will have a shot.
That's if he doesn't screw it up too much an-
Kakashi's thoughts came to an immediate halt when he remembered something.
… The kiss marks on her neck.
The idiot that broke her heart.
…
Maybe Naruto hadn't stayed away.
…
Maybe Naruto had been the idiot.
Who else could it have been?
It sounds like something that kid would do.
He's probably already trying to win her back.
Kakashi tried to stop thinking about it and watch the movie when he could feel something dangerously close to jealousy start to bubble up in his chest again.
He shouldn't feel jealous.
He shouldn't feel anything.
He should just hope that whatever happens or has happened between his team members doesn't get in the way of future missions.
That's all he's supposed to be worried about right now.
He should be worried that Naruto might've already hurt Sakura, he shouldn't be worried about how roughly he would treat Naruto if he found out Naruto had screwed with Sakura's heart like the idiot he was, he shouldn't be worried about accidentally looking to his right and catching a glimpse of the emotionally-injured girl next to him who no doubt was now afraid of all older men, and he definitely shouldn't be worried about whether or not she's afraid of him for any other reasons than to ensure the trust between subordinate and captain.
But he was worried.
He even was more worried than he would admit that the girl sitting next to him would be so afraid of him that he wouldn't be able to reach out to her someday…
He was worried he'd never feel for himself what it would feel like to run his hand through her hair and see her smile up at him in a new way.
…
He sighed tiredly after that last thought, enjoying that small fraction of shameful hope more than he had enjoyed the entirety of the movie playing in front of him.
He rubbed his eyes tiredly.
…
I don't know how much more of this I can take.
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I had turned to Naruto, but he was already holding his hand against his chest, cradling as if it was in pain. He had already turned to Sai and said, "See?"
Sai smiled at me when I caught his eye.
…
His planned worked.
…
Kakashi-sensei actually stopped Naruto from making his move.
…
Just like last time.
…
I had no idea how to react to that.
…
Should I feel hope?
Or anger?
…
I started to lean toward anger.
And I finally realized why I felt angry.
…
Because I didn't want to feel hope.
I was afraid.
…
I was so afraid any hope I could feel would only turn into pain twice as strong.
…
That was such a stupid thing to feel, but… my brain has been acting this backwards for a while now, hasn't it?
I sighed.
…
I don't know how much more of this I can take.
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The Hokage's Assistant, and sometimes Assistant Hokage, had an unusual job. Some days she found herself saving the village from paperwork wars, others she was solely responsible for finding a scroll the Hokage lost on how to ease the pains of more aggressive hangovers, but today there was slightly more to be done.
It was Shizune's turn to check on the duller side of Konoha.
The desk-nins: the few chosen to work behind desks, filing paperwork and mission reports, settling civil disputes, and organizing the historical data had offices in the center of the village.
And now, clutching a sleepy TonTon against her stomach, the small-framed woman quietly walked through the halls of desks where the little ticks of typewriters and the scratching of pencils could be heard left and right… but there was another thing Shizune-san hadn't planned hearing that day as she passed the break-room full of small talk… and gossip.
Today's hot gossip was about a certain Academy teacher and a certain sixteen year old kunoichi.
Needless to say, she was worried when she heard the names of the two characters and the gossip attached to them.
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Don't look at her.
Don't think about her.
Just… don't think.
…
…
…
It worked for a few seconds.
It was a normal practice for shinobi to learn to clear their minds of not only emotions, but any unnecessary thoughts… to find peace when confused or troubled.
Kakashi sat there, almost blind and deaf to his surroundings, practicing this ancient mind-clearing art in place he never thought he would need to for a reason he never thought he'd need to either.
It almost seemed ridiculous… but he really needed this.
His brain has been messed with physically, chemically, and emotionally in these past few days… and he needed at least a single minute of peace if he could find one.
Even if it was in a dark and dingy movie theatre showing a smutty love movie.
…
…
Letting his mind wander comfortably into a motionless nothingness, his thoughts seemed to float in and out of focus.
Images.
Just picture in his mind of his rootless thoughts.
A mind is never truly clear, there are always thoughts you never intentionally create, and right now he was letting them take over his attention.
Just thin images that came and went from his attention like ghosts.
He couldn't remember them the moment they left his mind's eye… but whatever they were, whatever they portrayed.
It was working.
…
He tried focusing a little.
To catch a glimpse of whatever it was that was easing his mind a little.
…
And then, just as easily as it had entered his mind, it stayed.
…
A smile.
A soft smile he wasn't sure he recognized.
It was bright.
Happy.
Real.
But seeing it, feeling what it made him feel… he wanted more.
It wasn't a conscious decision; it was more like something inside of him, a part of him he didn't know existed, was feeling this for him…
It only took him a moment longer to realize whose smile it was.
…
His mind flashed back to reality for a moment with a flinch of guilt, but he forgot it just as quickly.
…
He focused on the picture in his mind.
Her smiling face. Brighter than he ever remembered seeing it before, happier than he thought she even could be…
He wished he could see more.
Even if he couldn't reach out to her, even if he could never touch her… that smile.
If he could make her smile like that, through any words or any actions, that's all he wanted.
…
He had no idea where these thoughts came from, he could only guess that while he had been so busy paying attention to the side of himself that was damning his thoughts and feelings there was a part of him that had felt these feelings to begin with… and now… when he had cleared his mind of everything he could, it was the strongest part of himself…
…
…
That realization alone was enough to change everything.
…
…
He realized a moment late that the lights had started to raise again, his team members standing up and out of their seats, walking down the aisle.
Before doing the same, he took only a moment to try and get one last glimpse of that new and gorgeous smile in his mind.
… And then, in the moment of peace he had been hoping for, he realized it:
That smile was all he wanted.
…
Without noticing, he was smiling to himself as he stood up.
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"Did you hear about Umino-san?" The young teachers whispered to each other excitedly as they met in the lunch room during their students' recess.
Even though their teenage years were a while behind them, whenever a good piece of gossip showed up in their comparatively boring lives, it wasn't long before it was all they could talk about like they were teenagers again.
"Yeah, him and Tsunade-sama's apprectice-girl!" The brunette answered excitedly, the other two fluttered with something like giggling.
"I always thought he was kind of cute, I was actually thinking about asking him out, too." The blonde spoke up.
"Yeah, but he probably only likes young girls. He's probably had his eyes on that Haruno girl since she was his student." The other brunette whispered, the others exclaimed at that assumption.
"He must've been grooming her to be the perfect girlfriend for years!" The first brunette took the hypothetical situation another step. "I heard she always got top marks. Maybe there was some after class tutoring!"
The others giggled and squealed to themselves at that extreme assumption.
A quiet brown-haired teacher had heard nothing but this gossip all day, this was the worst kind she'd heard yet… and acting out of character, decided to stick up for the kind teacher she knew Iruka Umino must've been… if she had ever talked to him for more than a few minutes in the past couple years, "Um-Umino-san has always been a re- really good teacher… Ma-maybe the rumors aren't true." She spoke up.
The other three turned to their colleague with intrigue, the brown-haired woman suddenly wished she hadn't said anything.
"Yeah, I guess the rumors could be false." The blonde piped up, "But Kuroke-san said he saw them together last night, here on the grounds." She added with attitude.
"But maybe you can find out for us, Haji-san." A brunette offered.
The others lit up really quick.
"Yeah!" They chorused, "You should go ask Umino-san and find out if the rumors are true or not." The suggested.
The brown-haired woman suddenly felt like she was being bullied.
"Could you do that for us, Haji-san? Just ask him after his classes are done and then if he says they're wrong, then we'll tell everybody to stop talking about him." They promised emptily.
Haji-san stood quietly for a moment, the other women chorused more suggestions on how to ask Umino-san… finally, the brown-haired woman gave in to the bullying.
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The movie ended.
The lights went up.
And we left the theatre.
…
It was kind of awkward.
But nowhere near as much as last time… if anything right now I was plagued with more confusion than anything else.
I was confused about the way Kakashi-sensei was acting, why he had stopped Naruto for me like that like last time although things couldn't be more different between us. And I was, of course, still somewhat confused about how we even got in this situation.
I had thought there would've been some sort of universal limit on how ridiculous your life could get within the span of a few days… I must've been wrong.
"Bwah!" Naruto sighed and stretched happily as we walked out the front door of the little theatre.
He seemed completely content… I was a little envious.
Well, he was content until he noticed something.
"It's raining!" He announced after the moment I figured it out for myself.
"Well, I guess the seasons are finally catching up with us."
I nearly jumped when that voice spoke up from right behind me. I mean, I knew he was somewhere behind me, of course I did; he was all I could think about right now, but it still caught me by surprise. I quickly walked several paces ahead, not caring about the raindrops dripping onto the top of my head. Hearing his voice so close to me was a little disconcerting especially when he sounded so normal.
Wait…
…
Why did he sound normal?
He was just acting so weirdly back in the theatre… then again, so was I…
I guess the cold air did us both good, or…
"So I guess we'll have to take a raincheck on the trip to Ichiraku." Kakashi-sensei carried on, his voice so completely normal that I barely paid attention to the humor behind his words.
But even if I found myself confused by his voice, I still didn't look at him.
In the theatre I had looked at him long enough, but now… now that we were outside, now that the rainwashed scent of forests around this tiny little village seemed to be surrounding me… almost suffocating me with the memories I alone held, catching a glimpse of his hand or his vest was enough to make my heart beat fast enough as it is… I definitely didn't need to test my endurance any further by looking up at him.
"Aw." Naruto verbalized his disappointment, losing some more of his contentment.
"We'll go another day." Kakashi-sensei spoke up kindly as he started to lead us down the slightly muddy path that led us here.
I swore I could hear something like a smile in his voice.
(Again I wished I could see him smile again.)
I wasn't alone in that observation, "You seem a little higher in your spirits, Kakashi-san." Sai spoke up conversationally.
Hearing Sai talk put me on edge a little, but I tried to ignore it.
I paid more attention to my feet, watching them as they stomped through the mini-puddles on the dirt path.
Naruto spoke up next, and I was forced to pay attention.
"Yeah, he's kinda normal now." Naruto commented innocently until, "Except I hope he doesn't get all weird again."
I looked up.
Weird?
Kakashi-sensei's tracks slowed for a moment.
"Weird?" He asked over his shoulder, mimicking my thoughts. I looked back to Naruto quickly, ready for the worst.
He better not say anything….
Seriously. I had made such an effort in hiding the 'weird' side of Kakashi-sensei from himself to let Naruto just spill everything I had to fight myself to keep from him.
"Yeah, you were acting really weird on the last mission." I crept closer to Naruto, readying myself to shut him up. "You were smiling all the time and made us dress up really weird, and when we went undercover you even said Sakura was your fiancé-."
I bumped my shoulder into his roughly.
But that didn't matter.
Naruto had already finished most of that word before I stopped him.
Everything was suddenly slowing down.
Kakashi-sensei turned toward us slightly-I had to look away from him-, Sai was walking in closer, and Naruto was looking at me like I was being unnecessarily mean.
Everybody was so interested now.
God, this was exactly what I didn't want.
I searched the puddly ground without looking for anything.
"What?" Kakashi-sensei's voice broke the silence that had only been filled with the soft patter of rain all around us.
"I was very shocked, too." Sai picked up, sounding as energetic as Sai could. He had probably been waiting for this, hadn't he? I suddenly felt like tackling him, but I was too busy trying to act normal to go through with it. Sai just kept going. "You said it was for the mission. That you two had to share a room for the mission. It worked out in the end, but I'm not sure if it was all that necessa-"
I finally stomped on his toe.
He barely even reacted.
I nervously glanced up at Kakashi-sensei, risking heightening the rate of my heart beat to an uncomfortable level, just to make sure he wouldn't be looking at me like I was crazy.
…
Instead it was worse.
He was looking toward the ground, keeping his steps even, his brows were slightly furrowed.
… he looked disturbed.
…
As if the thought of pretending to be my fiancé was all that horrible.
Again, even though I should've been happy that he couldn't think of me as 'fiancée-material', I felt insulted.
I felt like I should've said something, but I didn't.
I think I was just too tired of all this craziness…
… or maybe I just didn't want to make it any more worse for Kakashi-sensei since… well, if he didn't like the idea of being my fake fiancé… he doesn't need to hear any more about it.
"Yeah! And you made me spend the night with that guy! He wouldn't shut up, he just kept saying weird stuff!" Naruto complained again.
I just kept walking, I could feel Sai staring at me.
I was going to have to talk to him later, but right now… I just kept focusing on my feet, not looking up and barely paying any attention to Naruto's ranting.
I had barely noticed when we hit the fork in the road, though I thought it didn't matter anyways until:
"Well, I think Naruto and I should be going." Sai spoke up.
"Wha-?" Naruto verbalized my confusion as well when I suddenly looked up from the ground to get a look at this socially awkward mastermind as he started up another one of his schemes no doubt.
But, in all seriousness, I was really starting to get a habit of feeling worried or nervous whenever Sai spoke.
"We've distracted from Sakura-san's job for a couple hours now, and I think Kakashi-san could use some healing." Sai recited robotically, as if he had been practicing that awkward excuse in his mind for a few minutes already.
"Yeah, I guess." Naruto agreed. "See you guys tomorrow!" he said lastly, still energetic, as he followed Sai down the right fork of the path that led to the South Gate of Konoha. The one ahead of me led to the West Gate, the closest to Kakashi-sensei's apartment.
Sai smiled back at me as I stared at him with a slightly incredulous look.
For a guy that's so awkward and subtle, he could be so obvious sometimes.
To me, at least.
"Come on, let's hurry. The rain's picking up."
His voice woke me up out of my thoughts… well, shook me out of them, really.
I was just so sensitive to everything about him right now, even just those few sentences made me jump, and they were about the weather!
Despite my sensitivity, he was right, the rain was picking up, and I followed after him as we started traveling at a faster pace.
I had forgotten to look back to my feet, instead, I found myself staring at the back of his vest.
… Strangely…
It was calming.
…
The sound of the rain, the silence between us, the scent of the forest that imitated his own so well, the steady pace of our steps, the familiar sight of his vest, the way his hands were casually resting in his pockets.
It was normal… but nice.
… Peaceful.
I wondered if he felt something like this too right now.
Or if I was the only one.
…
I guess it didn't matter.
I was actually enjoying this moment.
Even if I was alone in this feeling… I still liked it.
Being close to him…
It didn't hurt right now.
…
If I just took it as it is… feeling this close to him…
I realized that I still loved it as much as I used to.
I immediately remembered something Kakashi had told me a long time ago, 'I just wanted to have a few minutes with the person I couldn't stop thinking about… just to enjoy their company.'
This is what he must've been feeling.
…
It's so strange to think that Kakashi-sensei once felt something like this… for me.
…
But I knew I wouldn't be able to enjoy his company much longer, not when we got to the apartment… I'll probably be too nervous to feel anything besides my own heartbeat once we got there.
But for now.
…
This was better.
…
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He walked down the path as calmly as possible.
He glanced over his shoulder too discreetly for her to notice. Her face was a little pink with the cold, her hair a darker shade now that it was a little wet.
His mind almost revisited that exhausting dream where her face and hair looked similar, but instead his mind immediately travelled to any sort of excuse to talk to her.
He wanted to say something, to turn around and talk to her face to face while he managed to get this time with her.
But he knew where that would lead.
He would only fall deeper into his feelings and make things harder for himself.
…
But this was… good.
This quiet moment in the rain, knowing she was there…
…
He just wasn't comfortable with the way he had to keep his hands in his pockets to stop himself from reaching out to her and brushing his hands through her damp hair just to catch a glimpse of a smile like the one he remembered from nowhere.
…
But instead he closed his eyes, left his hands comfortably in his pockets, and let himself enjoy this moment, the rain, and her company.
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The Academy teacher picked up the papers from the desks after the kids stormed out of the classroom to get home as fast as possible and enjoy their weekends.
He was a little happier right now, not as worried, he had nearly forgotten the ordeal from than morning with the parents… but he wouldn't forget it completely anytime soon.
Especially not when a fellow teacher, a quiet brown-haired woman whom he'd known for a few years but not very well, walked into his classroom meekly and before he could give her a proper greeting, blurted out a question that, little had he known, had been floating around the village all day, "I-is it true that you're having an affair with one of your old students?"
Silence took over the classroom as Iruka-sensei had to take a moment to realize what she'd said.
The woman, having been bullied by her co-workers into asking in their place, shifted on the spot uncomfortably before needing to fill the silence for herself, "Everybody's talking about how you… you and Tsunade-sama's apprentice-girl were… were together last night."
…
"And that she's only sixteen." The woman added lastly, already backwardly inching toward the doorway abashedly.
She just wanted him to give her an answer so she wouldn't have to embarrass him and herself a moment longer.
But the man just stood there, weakly gripping the papers in his hands, eyes slightly wide, and feeling a little sick to his stomach with the realization that what he had thought had been a little miscommunication with the parents of his students might actually be something much worse.
People were spreading rumors about him and… about him and Sakura being…
… Why would they think that?
Of course, they'd met privately a few times because of what had happened between her and Kakashi, but they weren't… they weren't…
But who would've started this?
Who would've known about the times he had been alone with Sakura?
Who could've started this rumor?
…
It hit him after only a moment of thought.
He ignored the woman in the doorway as he suddenly started packing up his things on his desk.
…
He needed to find Kuroke.
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Alright.
Thank you guys so much for all of the reviews, seriously, there were so many!
I felt very much appreciated, haha.
And I really enjoyed seeing new usernames and reviewers!
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But the next chapter will not be available for a while since I'm starting it from scratch. I only have a few notes and sample dialogues for it right now, so it's going to take a while to write.
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But, still, I would love any reviews, even if they're only three words.
And, as a side-note, reviews are very motivational/inspirational... just saying, haha.
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Oh, and the song that has given me the most inspiration for this past week is posted here:
http : / / theedgybubble . tumblr . com /
(P L E A S E
R E M O V E
S P A C E S)