[Fic] Thursday's Child (4/?)
Author: WynterEyez
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: T
Characters/Pairings: Dean Winchester, Castiel, Sam Winchester, Bobby Singer, Dean/Castiel
Beta: None, though that would've been a damn good idea, don't you think?
Spoilers: AU after 'The Man Who Would Be King,' contains spoilers for 'Let It Bleed.'
Disclaimer: I don't own them, obviously.
Warnings: References to past mpreg (I can't believe I'm doing this…), some brutal honesty about the issues caused by the Nephil (because, let's face it, this really wouldn't be a happy occasion for anyone involved.)
Summary: Castiel brings a surprise home to Dean. It's gooey. And has tentacles.
Chapter Summary: In which Dean is too much of a man to push a shopping car but isn't ashamed to express Real, Meaningful Feelings in the baby aisle, Castiel continues to show a disturbing lack of modesty, and plot finally rears up its hoary head and makes life difficult.
A/N: I did intend to get this up over the weekend, but I forgot just how much GISHWHES destroys lives. Or free time, anyway. Plus, these freaking chapters just get longer and longer.
Four - Sweet Child o' Mine
Bobby sends them to Wal-Mart. Dean hadn't wanted to leave Castiel, especially since the angel had had another near panic attack when Dean had asked if he could think of anything else the Nephil might need and he'd been completely clueless. But because Dean has some knowledge of a baby's needs, and because Dean and Sam are clearly idjits who don't know how to set up a generator so the food wouldn't spoil in the first place, and because Bobby had said that since it's Dean's fault (which it totally isn't) that they have Heaven's little black hole to feed, Dean gets to be the one to shop for food.
And Sam has to go because Dean totally refuses to be seen pushing the shopping cart.
But the real truth is: Bobby wants to get Castiel alone. He'd assured them that he wouldn't harm the angel, but he wants to question him without the brothers around; he believes Cas may be more honest if Dean isn't there to judge him. Dean reluctantly agrees, because Purgatory is still a big issue, and they need to know everything they can. So, much as he'd hated to leave, he and Sam had headed off into downtown Sioux Falls.
He'll make it up to Cas, though… maybe pick up another pie. Or ice cream.
Sam's got that anxious look, like a puppy who really has to pee. He's been desperate to discuss Feelings from the moment they'd pulled out of Bobby's yard, and Dean had only held him off by blasting Zeppelin. No such option now, though. They'd picked up the items on Bobby's list - cheap foods that they could make large quantities of - and now they're in the baby aisle, examining the selection of formula.
It's not cheap. Dean really, really hopes Danielle didn't inherit Castiel's appetite.
"Spit it out before you rupture something," Dean says finally.
"You've been pretty quiet about all this. How are you doing? Really? This is a lot to have dropped on you."
"Fine. Why wouldn't I be? I'm not the one who had a Nephil rip its way out of me," Dean snorts.
"I'm just… surprised at how you're taking this. How calmly," Sam prods. "We didn't exactly part from Cas on the best of terms, and now here we are, taking care of him and his baby."
Great. His brother is in one of his 'let's not just talk about our feelings, let's analyze them and beat them to death with a stick' moods. Dean suspects that Sam's hoping one day he can get his big brother to break down and cry on his shoulder.
Totally not happening. Especially not in a freaking Wal-Mart.
"How am I supposed to react? You think I should be angry? Hell yeah, I'm upset. Castiel's been involved in some bad shit, and he hasn't hesitated to use us for his own gain. And now we're stuck with him and a baby he can't quite deal with, which basically leaves me to make up for his ignorance. But what am I supposed to do, leave them to fend for themselves? You've seen how Cas is; he can barely stay upright. He wouldn't have a chance against his dick brothers. He might believe he can handle it, but first time he faced off with another angel, he'd die, and so would Danielle.
"He's a victim in all this, and I'm not going to punish him for something that was done to him. And… even after all he's done, he's still like a brother to me, and I don't abandon family when they need me."
From the way Sam beams, that's obviously what he'd been hoping to hear when he'd prodded Dean. Dean rolls his eyes.
"I tell ya, though… I do hate Raphael helluva lot more, though, and if that bastard were here, I'd probably get myself killed trying to gank him." Dean grabs a pack of pacifiers as well, because he suspects Cas won't tolerate the Nephil sucking on his wings for much longer.
"I'm gonna do everything I can to help Cas and Danielle; no matter how difficult it may be. Yeah, she's kinda ugly, and yeah, it'd be easier if she were a cute little baby - with wings because that would be totally badass - but… she's really sweet and innocent. And she's family; it doesn't matter what she looks like." Dean's lips twitch. "I have a Sasquatch brother with girly hair and a probably transvestite octopus-elk-bird-thing as a best friend who is now the mother of my child, so, really, Dani fits right in."
What else will she need? Dean thinks. Not diapers; they wouldn't fit her bizarre body. And Dean really hopes she takes after Cas and doesn't need them, anyway, because he just can't imagine Castiel changing a diaper. Dean turns and makes a beeline for the baby blankets. He doesn't know what the Nephil will require, but he figures blankets are a safe bet. He grabs several of the softest ones in various colors (except pink, of course. No way in Hell will Dean's daughter be seen in pink.)
On his way, he passes a pair of women who give him venomous looks as they shove past him. Dean stares after them, baffled, before turning to his brother. "Why were they looking at me like that?" Dean asks blankly.
"Dude, you were just talking about how ugly your baby is. Most people don't respond too well to that sort of thing."
Dean scowls. "And of course they didn't hear the part about me doing everything I can to protect her."
"What, are you seriously thinking of picking up a woman now? When you're shopping for your baby? Dude, that's so wrong." Sam shakes his head.
Dean opens his mouth to protest, then snaps it shut again. Honestly, he's not thinking about sex at all - he'd reacted because he'd been offended that they probably though him the worst sort of deadbeat dad. If only they knew… Instead, Dean turns his attention to the rack of plush toys.
"So… what do you think? Octopus or angel bear?" Dean holds up two stuffed animals.
Sam stares at Dean like he's lost his mind.
"I like the octopus… looks more like her, doesn't it?" Dean studies the purple stuffed animal. It has googly eyes and a chubby-cheeked grin, and its tentacles are flexible and tipped with Velcro. "And clearly, angels don't resemble bears." He doesn't wait for Sam's response, simply tossing the stuffed octopus into the cart.
"You think she's ready for toys? She's not even a day old yet."
"Well, Dani tends to keep a couple of tentacles wrapped around Cas. I thought maybe she'd like toys she could get a grip on." Dean shrugs. Sam's lips twitch, and Dean frowns. "What?" he demands.
"Nothing. It's just… I love that you actually noticed that. You're loving this, aren't you? Having someone to care for?"
"What are you talking about? I have you to take care of," Dean huffs. "You're hopeless without me."
Sam looks about to argue, then gives up. "What are you paying for all this with?" Sam asks. "You're not using all our money, are you?"
They'd hustled pool the night before arriving at Bobby's, because they wouldn't commit credit card fraud in Sioux Falls - too close to home. They currently have enough money to support themselves during their next hunt without having to resort to fraud or hustling. So, yeah… Dean's probably going to spend it all on Danielle and Castiel. Sam would just have to deal with not being able to afford his stupid herbal shampoos and allergen-free laundry detergent.
After picking up everything he can think of that Danielle might need, Dean picks up some treats for Castiel. He ends up randomly picking out three different flavors of ice cream, since it's on sale and choices will give Cas a chance to discover what he likes, and even buys cupcakes to celebrate his daughter's birth because Sam had whined that pie wasn't a proper birthday food. Pink cupcakes, even, because that's all they had.
The things he does for family.
~oOo~
It shocks Castiel just how upset he feels when Dean leaves.
It's not being alone with Bobby that bothers him; he knows the older hunter intends to interrogate him, and he's prepared for that. No, it's that he wants Dean close by to give him the illusion of protection. And by feeding Castiel breakfast, Dean had established himself as Castiel's provider, a realization that makes Castiel uncomfortable. And he doesn't think Dean will be pleased to learn he's had this role thrust upon him.
Not that it matters what Dean would think. It's Dean Castiel needs to make him feel safe. It's Dean who's helping him maintain his suffering vessel and his wounded Grace. And it's Dean who'd helped him identify the emotion coming from Danielle as hunger for nourishment besides what she receives from his Grace. Clearly, Dean is going to be the parent that manages to keep Castiel from accidentally killing his offspring.
If Danielle hadn't been fast asleep on his chest, Castiel knows he would be on his feet and pacing, with his eyes glued to window as he waited for Dean to return.
He can't believe he's been reduced to this. Castiel has been a soldier almost since his creation; he's fierce, fearless, a warrior of God. He'd even been a leader of his garrison, when Anael had chosen to fall. Once, he'd been formidable. And now he's weak, defenseless, terrified of being alone, and responsible for an utterly dependent new being that he has no idea how to care for.
He hates it, being like this. And he can no longer find solace in believing this was simply God's will; he's no longer that angel. Raphael had done this to him, twisting what should have been a gift of their Father into an abomination, violating the free will Castiel had worked so hard to develop.
He's scared. There's no denying it. He's scared to be alone, scared that Raphael will find him in another unguarded moment and do something else to him. Raphael has been a healer for millennia; it makes him a very creative and effective torturer.
It's why he'd needed to sleep next to Dean the previous night. For the first time in Castiel's memory, he'd needed to feel protected and safe, he and the Nephil.
And now that he's sprawled on the couch, alone except for the dozing Danielle and the disgruntled Bobby, he finds he can't relax. Especially since Bobby chooses that moment to stand over him and glare downward. Castiel meets his gaze unflinchingly.
"You plannin' on stopping us?"
Castiel heaves a sigh. "I'm out of the fight, likely for good. I still want Raphael stopped by any means necessary, however, and you, Dean, and Sam are my best bet."
Bobby doesn't look convinced, which isn't unexpected. Dean and Sam hadn't reacted very well, but they'd at least once called Castiel 'friend,' and had at least given him a chance. Bobby is understandably warier. He's not as close to Castiel, and had even baldly stated that he'd never really trusted the angel.
"Not what you said last time we talked," Bobby said flatly. "You wanted us out of the way. And now you're here with your little bundle of joy, and expecting us to help you take care of it."
Castiel bristles. "The Nephil is my child with Dean," he says defensively. "He is taking care of her because she is family. And I would have left, if Dean had rejected us."
"Oh, I don't doubt that the baby is yours and Dean's - you're not exactly the promiscuous type. I'm just wonderin' if you did this to yourself on purpose, to win the boys over, maybe keep 'em busy while you went through with your plan to pop Purgatory."
"No!" Castiel reels back, stunned. Bobby believes Castiel would catastrophically sabotage his plans like this on purpose? "I assure you," he says stiffly, "the Nephil's birth was entirely unplanned - and unwelcome."
"It's just a hell of a coincidence, you comin' to us with the baby the night after we find out your big plan."
Castiel wrinkles his brow. "The timing is suspicious," he admits, "but it was merely coincidence.
"There's no tactical advantage in this. My Grace is shredded, my powers are drained, I can't even fly at the moment… I'm completely vulnerable. Perhaps this gives me an opportunity to regain Dean and Sam's trust, yes, but their feelings toward me would have made little difference in the long run. I no longer have the power to wield the Purgatory souls; I can't even defend myself if one of Raphael's lackeys comes after me.
"Worse, it also resulted in the perfect hostage for my good behavior. I would be quite… distressed, if something were to happen to Danielle, and I wouldn't put it past Raphael or Crowley to use her against me." Castiel shakes his head. "No, doing this to myself on purpose would be foolish. Better that I just surrender to Raphael than bear the Nephil; the consequences would be less dire."
It actually bothers him to speak so candidly about Danielle when she's curled so lovingly against him, but it's the truth, nonetheless. Her existence is an inconvenience at best, a death sentence at worst.
"But if you don't trust me, I can take Danielle and leave." The thought of being alone out there makes him ill, but he'll do whatever it takes to keep his child safe. He won't keep Danielle in a hostile environment. He just has no idea how he can accomplish this, since at the moment, he doubts he could manage a short flight to the next room. "If you'll just give me a few days to rest first so I have a chance -"
"I'm not gonna throw you out, Cas," Bobby says, exasperated.
Castiel doesn't dare believe this. He wouldn't shelter a perceived traitor in his home. "You're not?" he asks warily. "Why?"
"Aside from the fact that Dean would kill me if I booted you out? Because, you idjit, I'm a decent human being, and no decent human being would throw a new mother and baby out on the streets, or wherever it is you'd end up. Don't mean I completely trust you, but you're safe here."
And that's more than Castiel had hoped for. He hadn't realized how tense he actually was until he relaxes fully into the cushions. Danielle snuggles more firmly against his chest, and wraps a limb around his arm.
"You mind tellin' me what's so special about this particular book?" Bobby brandishes a sheaf of papers. "It's a copy of the one you stole the other night."
"I don't know," Castiel says. When Bobby folds his arms over his chest and glares, Castiel continues, "I took it on a hunch."
"Based on…?" Bobby prods.
"On March 10, 1937, a small door to Purgatory was opened. We could feel it, all the angels in my garrison, and we immediately sent out scouts to find it. It closed before we could determine its location; we only knew it happened somewhere on the Eastern seaboard. When the doorway wasn't reopened, we assumed those responsible had perished, taking the secret to opening the door with them, and we stopped the search - though we did keep a lookout, just in case.
"A doorway like that would attract attention - the kind of attention that would draw a hunter. Hunters are very thorough in their research, and the Campbells were working the East coast at the time, so I thought it possible that this Moishe Campbell may have investigated any strange activity resulting from the open gateway, and perhaps I'd find a lead."
"Not much to go on," Bobby sighs, removing his cap to run his hand through his hair in frustration.
"No… but it's the best lead I've had in months."
Bobby takes the photocopies and sits in a chair across the room, where he can keep an eye on Castiel. It's unnecessary; Castiel believes he's established that he's no threat, even if he'd wanted to be. But he supposes it's a human instinct, to watch over a mother and child.
Danielle stirs, and her eyes start to open, one by one. Seeing Castiel's attention is on her, she peeps sleepily and reaches out to brush several limbs against his face, reassuring herself that he's there for her.
Unlike over the past two years, when he'd been completely oblivious to her presence within him. He suspects she would have benefited from some pre-natal attention.
Satisfied that Castiel isn't going anywhere, Danielle wriggles around until she can settles against his abdomen to siphon off his Grace.
When his Grace becomes depleted, Castiel instinctively anchors himself to his vessel, meaning he feels its aches and pains more acutely, as he'd discovered when he'd woken up in a hospital near Delacroix. And when Danielle had ripped her way through his vessel, she'd dislodged or torn several organs, and the pain is intense. Enmeshed as he is within his vessel, he can feel every displaced and damaged organ within him, and the Nephil isn't helping matters.
She likes to settle on his stomach, right over the tear she'd emerged from. He assumes it's because the barrier of flesh cloaking his true form is thinnest there, making it easier for her to draw Grace from him to feed. It's extremely uncomfortable, and he thinks he even whimpers slightly when Danielle shifts and forcefully presses into his gut.
Bobby looks up from the page in his hand. "Now what's wrong?"
Castiel hadn't realized he was being so obvious with his pain. "It hurts, where Danielle broke through my vessel. It's not healing as quickly as I am accustomed to. It makes it very difficult to get comfortable."
Bobby humphs, then gets up and heads into the kitchen. He putters around for awhile, and Castiel loses interest, focusing instead on Danielle, who has begun anxiously nipping at his wings again in what he now realizes is an attempt to find something to feed her physical hunger. His feathers may exist as little more than shadows on this plane, but they're showing obvious wear from her nibbling in the form of damaged or missing quills.
Bobby emerges from the kitchen, holding what looks like a large, leathery flask that sloshes beneath his grip. He holds it out to Castiel, who stares at the offering uncertainly. He's pretty sure it's not some ritual item, but beyond that, he has no clue what it is.
"What is it?" Castiel asks, baffled.
"It's a hot water bottle. Should help with the aching a bit. Go on, it ain't gonna hurt you."
Castiel accepts it and, with a glance at Bobby to make sure he's doing it right, he sets it across his healing stomach. The heat immediately soaks into his skin, and he breathes a soft "Oh," of surprise. He's so distracted by the unexpected relief that, for a moment, his attention slips from the Nephil.
She immediately takes advantage of his inattention and begins undulating towards Bobby, all eyes on him. Castiel tenses as Bobby takes a step back, a barely concealed expression of disgust. "I'm sorry," he says, attempting to pull the Nephil back and struggling to ignore the piping cries of distress that tugs at his protective instincts. "She doesn't understand most will find her appearance revolting, and that not everyone will welcome her affection."
Bobby looks as if someone had just slapped him. "Dammit… Sorry, Cas, she's just… hard to take in," Bobby says softly, watching the Nephil with a wary fascination.
"You don't need to apologize," Castiel says. Though he thinks he'd prefer if Bobby did. "I'm aware that she doesn't conform to human standards of beauty. Even I find her appearance repugnant. But she has no control over how she looks, and I'm growing used to her."
Something about that makes Bobby wilt. "Balls," he mutters. "Guess we'll have to get to know each other eventually, so might as well start now." He holds his hands out and, with a squeak, Danielle again lurches towards him and grabs at his fingers with eager limbs.
"She wants to be picked up," Castiel says nervously. It's one thing to let Dean handle Danielle - he is her father, after all - but Bobby is another matter entirely. It's all he can do to keep from drawing his angel blade.
Bobby carefully lifts her to his chest, and the Nephil immediately presses in to him. Most of her eyes are fixed on Bobby's face, while the rest are glued to Castiel.
"I didn't mean to imply your kid's ugly, Cas… I should know by now not to judge by appearance. She ain't pretty to look at, but she's a sweet little thing, ain't she?" he murmurs as she nuzzles into his neck, chirping happily.
"She doesn't know not to trust anyone," Castiel says grudgingly. And he feels sad that, one day, she'll discover that all of Heaven, Hell, and Earth would view her with hatred and revulsion. "And she likes you. Yours is one of the voices she knows from her time within me."
"Which just makes me feel worse," Bobby sighs. "Sorry, kid," he tells the Nephil. "You deserve a lot better than a gruff old drunk as family."
Castiel disagrees. Bobby is far better for her than an ignorant angel and his Host of murderous siblings. He's about to tell Bobby this when the hunter abruptly turns from Castiel and begins to walk away.
As the distance between them increases, Castiel feels overwhelming panic. "Where are you taking her?" He struggles into a sitting position and tries to gather his legs beneath him, but fails.
"Hey, hey, it's all right!" Bobby says soothingly. "I was just gettin' a chair. I'm not going anywhere, see?" He drags the chair over to the couch and sits, feet up on the table and Danielle cooing contentedly in his lap. "She'll be right here; just thought maybe I'd hold her a bit so you could get a break from her."
Castiel flops back onto the couch, chin resting on the arm so he can keep an eye on his offspring, the water bottle pressed to his stomach. It is a relief not to have her sitting on his aching belly, but… he misses her presence already. He hasn't even had her for a day yet, and he's already so used to her being in his arms.
Unlike Dean or Sam, Bobby doesn't seem too bothered by Castiel's anxious staring. He's focused on his reading, occasionally glancing down to murmur to the curious Danielle. She's probing at his face, seemingly fascinated by his beard and hat. When she accidentally dislodges the trucker cap, Bobby places it atop the Nephil, and she squeaks with surprise, but makes no effort to remove it.
"I was thinkin'," Bobby says slowly, putting aside the book, "what you were saying before the boys left, 'bout not having a clue how to take care of a baby and all. I have a friend who may be able to offer some advice. She's not a hunter, but she knows about the supernatural and she's even helped us out a time or two. Jody might be willing to come and give you a crash course in raising a kid."
Castiel stiffens at the thought of letting a stranger near Danielle, but he reluctantly acknowledges that he can't do this alone, and there's only so much help Dean and Sam can give him.
Seeing that Castiel is torn, Bobby continues, "We'd test her thoroughly, of course, before letting her anywhere near Danielle, and if you feel uncomfortable with her, then you can send her away. I'm not gonna force you to talk to her… but I think she could help you."
"I could use some assistance," Castiel agrees reluctantly. "I was never even a child myself; I have no idea what I am doing." Still, he's terrified how he's going to react to a stranger coming near his baby.
Then Bobby decides to sweeten the pot. "I'll tell her to bring hamburgers. Lots of 'em."
There's no way Castiel can refuse after that.
~oOo~
The power's on by the time they return. They find Bobby at the kitchen sink, muttering over how many dishes they'd managed to dirty in just one day. There's no sign of Cas or Danielle. As soon as Dean enters the kitchen with the first load of groceries, Bobby grunts, "'bout time you got back. The angel's been going crazy waiting for you."
Dean notices that Bobby's shirt has a slight, slimy sheen, and he hides a grin. It seems Danielle had been working her charms on the gruff older hunter. "Where is he?" Dean asks.
"Sent him upstairs as soon as the power came on. He's in a lot of pain, so I suggested he try a hot bath. He's been up there 'bout an hour now, so it must be helping."
Dean heads upstairs, leaving Sam to bring in the rest of the groceries alone. He plans to knock on the door and tell Cas he's back with the formula, but the door is wide open - dammit, Cas! - and he can't help but take in the sight before him. And panic.
Danielle is floating motionless in the tub.
Castiel is kneeling beside the tub, staring impassively at the lifeless lump that is his offspring.
"Cas, what the hell?!" Dean lunges for Danielle, but Castiel grabs his wrist and pulls him back.
"Danielle's in no danger," Castiel says calmly. "In fact, she likes the water."
At his words, the Nephil suddenly begins thrashing around, splashing water all over Dean and Cas, as well as the walls, the tile floor, and even the ceiling. The action is accompanied by something that flutters at the edge of Dean's awareness, something that makes him smile without knowing why.
"She's laughing," Cas says, awed.
"Is that what that is?" Dean grins, eyes on the floating lump as she stills again, trailing her appendages through the water like a hunting jellyfish. So… Octopus-elk-jellyfish-human, then. Awesome.
"Her emotions are very human," Cas says.
"Is that good?"
"The Nephilim of ancient times took after their fallen angel parents. They had a superiority complex, and little empathy for humans. They were a danger to humankind, and Father was right to rid the world of them. But Danielle…" Castiel's hand reaches out, and he strokes one of the Nephil's sodden wings. "She seems to be the complete opposite of them." He smiles at Dean. "That is very good."
Dean thinks about the reading he'd done on Nephilim, about how they were monsters that had had to be put down. Knowing his daughter shares nothing in common with them beyond a similar parentage lifts a weight from Dean's shoulders. There had been a part of him that was terrified someone (not him, he couldn't do it) would one day have to hunt his daughter.
Dean turns to Cas, intending to make a comment to that effect, when he finally notices something he wishes he'd caught on to before.
Castiel is completely, unashamedly naked.
"Jesus, Cas! Towel!"
The angel stares at him blankly for a moment, then hands Dean the threadbare blue towel that had been neatly folded on the toilet, now soggy from Danielle's play. Dean rolls his eyes and grabs the towel, then winds it around Castiel's waist and ties it off at his hip. "Oh," is all Castiel says.
Dean's about to lecture him on nudity taboos and how dudes just didn't want to see other dudes' junk, but gives it up as a lost cause. After all, Cas has provided irrefutable evidence that he isn't exactly a dude and, besides, any clothing he'd wear would just end up as soaked through as Dean's.
And it does give Dean an opportunity to study Castiel, to see just how he's been effected. On the drive back, Sam had mentioned that Cas looked far too thin. Now that he has the chance to see Cas without his clothing, he can see his brother is right; Castiel's ribs are clearly visible, and the hollows of his collarbones are deep enough to collect water. Obviously, carrying a Nephil unawares is rough on the vessel as well as the angel.
Castiel meets his eyes and tilts his head, clearly wonder what Dean's looking at. Embarrassed at being caught staring, Dean starts to avert his gaze, when his attention is drawn to the scars on Castiel's chest. The angel banishing sigil that Dean had helped carved into his flesh back in Van Nuys is still there, an angry red against the pale white of his skin. The wound is closed, but the edges are still as sharp as if they were newly cut. "Is that ever going to heal?"
"No. The damage isn't just to my vessel; it burned right through to my Grace."
"And this one." Dean points to a ragged, half-healed wound that begins about an inch above his right hip, runs just under Castiel's navel and ends at the point of his left hip. "It looks recent. Is that where…?"
"Where Danielle emerged? Yes," Castiel absently strokes the puckered flesh. "I'm lucky that the tear wasn't larger."
"It looks like she ripped you in half!"
"Nearly," Castiel agrees placidly. "She didn't mean to, Dean. If I had known she was there, I would have eased her passage and minimized the damage."
"How's Jimmy gonna feel about this?" Dean snorts. "You're not exactly keeping his body in factory condition."
"Jimmy won't care… he's gone."
"He died?" Dean winces; another life he hadn't been able to save.
"I haven't felt his presence since Raphael killed me. I presume his soul has passed on." Castiel stares down at Danielle. "I hope he receives the reward he deserves."
Dean hopes so, too, but he's been to Heaven, and it's not as great as he'd always heard. He decides to change the subject. "I got the formula. Ready to see if Danielle will drink it?"
Scooping Danielle out of the water is like trying to get a grip on a jellyfish. She oozes out of his fingers, all the while radiating delight at his failed attempts. After a few minutes, Dean is soaked through, and Danielle is no closer to being caught. There's a faint huff from behind him which at first Dean thinks is exasperation, until he turns and sees the small smile on the angel's face. Castiel is laughing.
Finally, Castiel intervenes, and Dean can feel Danielle's disappointment as Castiel fishes her out and pulls her to his chest. It turns out she absorbs water like a sponge, and Castiel has to gently squeeze her until she's back to her normal size.
Dean's daughter is weird.
They change clothes before heading downstairs; Dean's wet clothes stick to him like a second skin, Sam's borrowed clothing is also a sodden victim of the Nephil monsoon, and Castiel's customary suit is still damp from the rain, as well as sticky from Danielle. The angel looks less vulnerable in Dean's worn jeans and a black T-shirt, which actually fit him, but he still looks strange without his trench coat.
The hot water bottle completes the look, stuck down the front of Castiel's jeans so it can still press against his stomach while he has both hands on the Nephil. Clean and dry, they head downstairs.
It turns out Danielle does indeed drink formula, and that her stomach capacity is that of a human baby's, rather than an angel's. Thank goodness. Though feeding the Nephil is a process that's going to haunt Dean's nightmares; he'd assumed she'd be fed through the beaklike protrusion she uses to make noise and chew on Castiel's wings. Instead, when she'd spotted food, an impossibly long, gaping maw had opened, a crooked orifice that threaded between her eyes and revealed three coiled, prehensile black tongues. She'd latched eagerly onto the nipple of the bottle and had sucked down the milk with a ferocious hunger that made Dean feel guilty he hadn't considered her nutritional needs earlier.
They also discover that Castiel prefers cupcakes over pie (Dean had been about to joke that Castiel couldn't be his friend anymore, then realized that might not go over well with the already skittish angel) and that his favorite flavor of ice cream is the chocolate chip cookie dough.
Castiel, meanwhile, seems to have developed narcolepsy; once he's done inhaling the food, he looks ready to fall asleep again, and his obvious disgruntlement at this makes Dean hide a grin. But Dean supposes if something were feeding off his life essence, he'd be exhausted all the time, too.
Once Cas is again crashed out on the couch with Danielle, both seemingly dead to the world, Bobby herds them to the opposite side of the house, as far as they can get from Cas while still being close enough that the angel won't feel alarmed if he wakes up alone. "Got a lead," Bobby says, voice low.
Dean glances towards where he knows Castiel is still asleep. "We still not trusting Cas?"
"Nope. Not with this. Though… he did point me in the right direction," Bobby admits. "Turns out Purgatory's been opened before - by H. P. Lovecraft."
Dean snorts. "Figures it'd be him."
"Why's that? 'Cause he wrote so much about doorways to other dimensions?"
"No… because Castiel is Cthulhu," Dean says.
Bobby arches an eyebrow. "Explains a lot," he says. "Anyway, the good thing about it being Lovecraft is that the man exchanged a lot of long, detailed letters with others like him fascinated with the macabre. He may have written about how to open the door, or where he learned how to. A lot of his letters still exist, so we may be able to find somethin'."
"I'm on it," Sam says, heading to his laptop.
Dean is about to head back to the living room to do… he doesn't know what, but it's not going to be to watch Castiel and Danielle sleep, because Dean's not a creeper like some angels he can name. But Bobby stops him with, "Sherriff Mills is going to stop by in the next few days."
"What did we do now?" Dean doesn't think he broke any laws in Sioux Falls recently. So why would… "Bobby, please tell me she's not coming here for a booty call." He'd seen the way Bobby had looked at the sheriff, and he really doesn't need to think about that.
"She's coming for the angel's benefit. Cas don't seem to be what you'd call a 'natural parent'," Bobby says dryly. "I thought he'd benefit from advice from an actual mother, and Jody's the only one I know who has experience with the supernatural."
"Oh. Good point," Dean concedes, though he's a little hurt that Bobby doesn't think he can handle it. After all, he'd practically raised Sam himself since he was four! Then again, there were probably physical and emotional aspects of motherhood that Dean had no experience with.
"There's another reason I want Jody in on this," Bobby says, glancing over to see if Castiel is still asleep, and lowering his voice. "If what Cas says about Danielle's conception is true - and I have no reason to doubt him, so don't look at me like that - then he's essentially been violated. He's taking it well, so for all I know angels can't grasp the concept, but personally, I think he's still in shock and it just hasn't had the chance to sink in yet. When it does, the result could be disastrous."
Remembering how vehemently Castiel had reacted when Sam had asked if he'd been raped, Dean grimaces. "Yeah, he understands the concept, all right." And he believes Castiel does realize that what was done to him falls into that category, though he's taking things surprisingly well, considering. Which could just be the calm before the shit storm. "Think he's heading towards a breakdown?"
"It's possible," Bobby says. "And if he is, Jody's dealt with several victims of rape and abuse over the years; she'll be able to help him better'n we can."
Dean hopes so. Because an angelic meltdown has the potential to be catastrophic.
Sam's voice interrupts them. "Got something." He looks up from the laptop. "We have two possibilities, both in Rhode Island. Brown University's got a big Lovecraft collection, and there's a private collector we can question who prides himself as an expert in all things Lovecraft. Bobby and I are leaving in the morning, and we should get there in a couple of days."
"Waitaminnit… You and Bobby?"
"Dean, you didn't see 'im when you two left to go shopping," Bobby said. "Had a look like a puppy who'd just been abandoned, and he was listenin' for the Impala the whole time I was talkin' to him. If you were gone for a week, he'd probably go nuts. Besides, that's your kid, too. You can't just leave them."
"He can't be that bad…" Dean says, but he's uncertain. After all, Cas has been very clingy, not letting Dean out of his sight when he's awake. It's a frightening thought, that Castiel needs him that badly.
"Guess you'll just have to see for yourself," Bobby says. "Tell you what; you try goin' out that door tomorrow, and if the angel don't raise a fuss, I'll stay behind. But I'm warning you, he'll react badly to you leavin'."
With that, he heads off to make dinner, a huge batch of chili that looks as if should be able to feed an army but probably won't do more than take the edge off Castiel's hunger.
Dean isn't sure how he feels about being left behind. He wants to go, to see this through to the end, and be there to protect Sam if needed. But he also doesn't want to abandon Danielle, or the still-vulnerable Castiel, for that matter. He has too many memories of being left alone with Sam while their dad went off on a hunt, and he doesn't want to do that to Danielle.
Dean wonders if Raphael had taken this into consideration when he'd chosen Dean's soul to merge with Castiel's Grace, if he'd intended for Dean to be taken out of the fight as well as Castiel. If so, he's even more devious than they'd feared.
Dean really, really hates that bastard.
Castiel wakes up long enough to polish off the rest of the chili, as well as the four cupcakes and pint of ice cream that Dean had managed to rescue from the angel's earlier binge.
Dean thinks about having the promised (threatened?) Chuck Norris marathon, but Castiel's jaw-cracking yawn makes him realize the angel's just too tired to appreciate the awesomeness. And Dean finds he's exhausted as well. Understandably, he thinks; he may not have been the one to give birth, but he's been through the emotional wringer pretty much non-stop since he'd found out about Cas' plan to pop Purgatory.
"Ready for bed already, Cas?" Dean's amused when Castiel growls in response. "Hey, man, it's normal to need a lot of rest after a birth," or so Dean assumes; it's not that he has a lot of experience in the matter. "Your body's been through a lot. I was thinking of turning in, myself."
"I'll just sleep down here tonight if you want the bed, Cas," Sam looks up from the laptop resting on his knees long enough to give Castiel a warm smile. "Plenty of room for you and Danielle."
"And what about you?" Castiel asks Dean. His tone sounds anxious, and Dean wonders what's wrong now.
"I usually sleep on the couch while Gigantor has the floor," Dean says.
"Then we will sleep down here as well," Castiel says immediately.
"The bed's more comfortable," Sam says. "I don't mind giving it up to you and Dani."
Castiel turns to Dean and says, "Danielle and I would sleep better on a bed. But I wouldn't feel right putting you both out."
He's staring desperately at Dean, willing him to understand what he's too proud to say.
Cas is afraid to sleep alone.
Shooting a look at Sam, who's watching with raised eyebrows and barely-concealed grin, Dean says, "All right. We'll both sleep in the bedroom. Floor's not much harder than the couch would be, anyway." He ignores Sam's smirk as he picks up the sleeping bag stashed in the corner and follows Castiel upstairs.
Once in the bedroom, Castiel hands off Danielle to Dean and immediately begins fussing with the blankets on the bed. There's no discernible sense in the way he's pushing them around; Dean wonders if it's some sort of nesting instinct that Cas doesn't quite know what to do with. After about ten minutes of this, he seems satisfied with the mess he's made of the bedding, and he takes Danielle and crawls to the far side of the bed, nearest the wall. Then he looks up expectantly at Dean.
Dean has no idea if he's supposed to praise Cas for his efforts, so he just grins crookedly at the angel and shakes out the sleeping bag, laying it along the wall opposite the bed.
"What are you doing?" Castiel frowns.
"Setting up my bedding. I'm not sleeping on the bare floor."
"There's plenty of room on the bed," Castiel says, gesturing towards the empty half.
"You and Dani -" Dean begins.
"If you don't sleep here, we'll just end up on the floor with you," Castiel says, shamefaced. "It's the only way I'd feel safe enough to actually sleep."
Well, now Dean feels guilty.
So Dean hops into bed, trying not to think about how this is the second night in a row he's had Cas cuddling up to him as if desperately craving contact. Danielle wiggles out of Castiel's arms and flops her way onto Dean's chest with a happy humming noise, and makes herself comfortable.
Danielle is curled up in a ball over his heart, and Cas… Cas presses against Dean, his head tucked in the hollow of Dean's neck. Um, awkward.
"Cas, what are you - "
"Shut up, Dean," the angel growls into his neck.
Okay. Dean can deal with this. It's not sexual; Cas simply wants to feel safe, Dean gets that. He just hopes Cas gets over the clingy stage soon, because too much more of this touchy-feely crap and Dean's gonna grow boobs.
Still, he actually manages a deep, dreamless sleep that night and wakes up without an angel blade pressed to his throat. Progress.
~tbc~
No. That ending's not schmoopy at all.
I'm trying to get chapters done as fast as I can, because I have a Christmas follow-up I want to do, but it's hard because I'm also working on four Big Bangs, a handful of Christmas stories, and a couple of prompt fics. I may be too ambitious.