YO! It's me, Williamgbirkin! Sorry it took me so long to do this, my damn flash drive broke and I had to redo the whole chapter, and then my computer would glitch and then I'd lose all progress and get pissed, and then I just got bored, which I'm pretty sure made the chapter quality tank, especially the fight scenes and the conversation in the hotel room (I hope I didn't make Naruto too serious). I've gone back and added the true genin test to chapter two. Now, here's the Search For Tsunade arc, and It's over ten thousand words!
I would like one of you to do me a favor. I would like someone to do an illustration on deviantart of the scene in chapter 4 where Haku and Naruto have their conversation on the ship, and then give me a link to it, or my village of Uzu.
I would also like you to visit the page of one of my favorite writers named Yoh Narukami, who's feeling a little down from lack of reviews. He is a Fairy Tail fan-fic writer who mostly writes Natsu x Erza, but he has a Natsu x harem that's awesome, and a Natsu x Juvia that was pretty good. So please, share the love.
I actually found out recently that Haku is in fact, fifteen in the manga during the mission to wave. Also, her birthday is on January ninth, so in this story, she's nine months older than Naruto is.
The following explanation is for the jackasses that say it's ten months not nine. January ninth to February ninth, that's one month. February ninth to March ninth, that's two months. March ninth to April ninth, that's three months. April ninth to May ninth, that's four months. May ninth to June ninth, that's five months. June ninth to July ninth, that's six months. July ninth to August ninth, that's seven months. August ninth to September ninth, that's eight months. And September ninth to October ninth, that's nine months. So she's nine months and one day older than Naruto in this story.
You guys are aware that I also have a guess the quote in the last chapter right? I'm just asking because no one tried to guess it. There's also one at the end of this chapter, and there will be one in every other chapter in the fore seeable future.
*Spoiler Alert*
Anyone else think that Tite Kubo is just fucking with us now? I mean Zangetsu is actually Juha Bach, who was suppressing his true powers so that he wouldn't feel the need to fight? Doesn't that mean that he's even more powerful than disturbingly powerful? And Ichigo is one of the now three people with two Zanpakuto? And Uryu is Juha Bach's successor? WTF?
Kishimoto Masashi, a fight that's just a genjutsu, followed by a fight overlapped by a flashback? Right, because you've never done either of those things. WTF?
Mashima Hiro. Really? You kill everybody, just to bring them back at the cost of Ultear? WTF? And isn't it sad that none of the dragon-slayers was able to defeat a dragon?
Oda Eiichiro, seriously? Enough with Caribou, it got old after the flag with the picture of the guy who looks just like him. And Sanji's perversion, and weird sense of morals gets an actual female interested in him? WTF?
*End Spoiler Alert*
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX
Tarrangar: Thanks man, I was panicking a little when I first noticed that.
Roboguy45: I may not have explained the barriers very well and for that I apologize. Picture a square, if the seal tags are inside the square, the element affects the outside, while the inside is like a wall of glass, this is for deflecting jutsu and such-like or securing a perimiter. If the seal tags are on the outside of the square, the elements affect the inside, while the outside acts like a wall of glass, this is for containing a prisoner or some other similar situation. The elemental effects only happen if either, something comes into contact with the barrier, or if the people at the tags do a specific jutsu. I would like to say once again that the Uzumaki Shuriken is not mine. It belongs to another author named JackOfBladesX and can be found in his story Children Of The Spiral. Thank you by the way, I did in fact forget to punish Sasuke, and have since gone back and corrected that mistake.
Riffin121294: Thank you, I don't know which yet, but I will either make Sakura a secondary apprentice like Ino, or I will kick her off the program completely, I just don't know which yet.
Silvermane1: Close, but no cigar! I hadn't thought about that, but there are several problems with it. One, they would have to pack everything up, and that would probably be a very time consuming and expensive process. Two, I think that only clan members are allowed on clan grounds, except for shinobi or clan buissness. And three, I don't think anyone would want to go to Ichiraku's anymore if they moved to the 'demon-brats' place, and three customers do not a profit make. And if they simply opened a new stand there, they would have to train new people, and would still have problems two and three to deal with.
T'086421: I know.
Scottaa: I could reference the conversation in Uzu where Naruto and Kyuubi discuss whether or not to sign either contract, I could say that one, or the other, or both don't like either or both animals, but we all know that it was a whim on my part.
Jg831: Thanks, it's nice of you to say that.
Guest: ?!
Dracoessa: When I said spy in the questions, I meant for people to guess who Jiraiya's new one is. And NO HINATA!
Artful Lounger: Those are all rather good points, and I thank you. Like I said earlier, I went back and added the genin exam to chapter two. As for his doubting them, he is a ninja, and information is the most dangerous weapon in their world. The shower scene, I've never read Ranma ½ so I wouldn't know. And the jutsu, the only one he copied specifically for suiton, was the hidden mist jutsu, the clone jutsu and the dragon jutsu have other elemental counterparts like the earth clone and earth dragon.
Exalted Demi-Soul: Hmm, good and funny point.
Damix96: That...is...a VERY good point, and something that I've wondered as well at one point.
Dusk Ado II: I don't care about paragraph spacing and all that crap! I space things the way I do so its easier to read. Spelling and grammar, I do do that.
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX
"Hello": Human Speech
'Hello': Human Thought
"Hello": Demon/Summon Speech
'Hello': Demon/Summon Thought
"Jutsu": Jutsu
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX
"Is it so wrong to want to teach my apprentice something?" JIraiya asked as he pulled what looked to be a water-balloon out of his hip pouch.
"What is that for?" asked Naruto.
"I'll tell you when we hit the road, meet me at the main gate in one hour." Replied Jiraiya as he walked away.
Two Hours Later
The two men were on the road after notifying Naruto's friends and team mates. He had gotten the Ichiraku's to watch the twins for him while on the mission, and had gotten a rather interesting hug from Haku, where she accidentally shoved his head into her cleavage (1), which almost got him killed on behalf of Zabuza, and that his sensei had been teasing him mercilessly about for the last hour.
"All right, Ero-sannin, where are we going, and what was it you wanted to teach me?" asked Naruto, as the two shinobi walked the path.
"Tsunade-hime is a HUGE gambling addict so we're going to wherever has the best gambling at this point and time to find her. As for what I'm teaching you, it's a move the fourth created called the Rasengan (spiraling sphere), a devastating move that causes major damage to whatever you hit with it, though it's exclusively a close-range attack." explained the huge man as he pulled the water-balloon out of his hip pouch again and, for no real reason, smashed it on Naruto's head.
"What the hell was that for?" yelled the blonde.
"I thought you might still be all hot and bothered since your girlfriend let you motorboat her, and you needed to cool off." responded Jiraiya with a grin.
"W-w-what w-we're n-not like th-that! Sh-she's j-just a f-f-friend." stuttered Naruto with a blush that would make a tomato proud.
"Of course kid, whatever helps you sleep at night," said Jiraiya flippantly as he pulled another water-balloon out of a seal on his wrist, "now, the Rasengan has three stages that you need to complete in order to use it. the first stage is rotation. Watch and learn."
It was at this point that the water-balloon began to gain bumps that grew and grew before popping in a shower of water and thin plastic.
"Now I want you to do that, and we'll move on to stage two. You can do it on the road." Said the Sanin as he pulled out another balloon before giving it to Naruto.
Three Hours Later
The two shinobi were just walking into a bustling town full of cheerful people, bars, stands selling various merchandise , and gambling dens. All in all, as Jiraiya would say, it was a perfect place for Tsunade Senju.
Naruto on the other hand, had made little to no progress in the jutsu, only making the balloon into a pancake made of water.
'Damn it, what am I doing wrong Kyuubi?' enquired the blonde to his tenant.
"I've already told you that I was going to stop spoon feeding you the answers. But knowing you, you'll keep bitching, so I'll give you some advice, and if you still haven't figured it out by the time you've left this village, I'll tell you the answer. Ask the pervert to show you how it's done again, and then compare your balloon to his." advised the fox as he lay down to take a nap.
Sigh 'I'll hold you to that.'
"Ne, Ero-sannin, can you show me how to do this again?" asked Naruto as he offered up the balloon, halting their progress through the town.
"Why gaki?" asked an annoyed sannin, eager to visit a few "houses of pleasure" in order to continue his "research".
"I want to see what I'm doing wrong."
"Very well." acquiesced the pervert as he pulled another water-balloon out of the seal, "Now watch closely, this is the last time I show you."
As Naruto was watching, he tried to see what was different.
'The only thing I can think of is that his stays a sphere, and gets bumpy, while mine becomes a pancake. What does that mean? AARRGGHH!' Raged Naruto inside his head.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!" Yelled the fox.
'Bastard.' Insulted Naruto.
"Hairless ape" Shot back his prisoner.
'Stupid plush toy' Retorted the blonde.
"Incompetent jackass." snapped Kyuubi
After about five seconds of silence, in which the two of them were mentally glaring at each other, they both bust out into laughter, causing several people to question Naruto's sanity.
"What's so funny Gaki?" inquired Jiraiya, who had been watching his changing facial expressions and was now wondering if the boy had finally cracked.
"Nothing, I was just thinking on our different methods, and I got sidetracked." responded Naruto after he had calmed down.
"Our different methods?" asked the white haired man, as he got the two of them moving again.
"Well, when you do it, it stays a sphere, it just gets bumpy. When I do it, it becomes a pancake. I'm trying to figure out why."
"Gaki, how many directions do you spin yours?" asked a curious Jiraiya, trying to see if Naruto would figure it out with a little push.
"I only spin it in the one direction, It's not like you...can...spin...damn." Responded Naruto, cursing his own stupidity, which the kyuubi whole-heartedly agreed.
After he made this epiphany Naruto began to spin the water in the balloon, but was having difficulty doing so in more than one direction. When he commented on it to Kyuubi the fox told him he could try it with both hands, which he did, thus allowing him to pop the balloon.
'Hmm, the gaki doesn't have the control to do it with one hand so he used two...interesting.'
"Now that that's over, we can move on to the next stage." Jiraiya told his pupil, causing the boy to get stars in his eyes until the man beaned him in the head with a rubber ball.
"What the hell was that for?" demanded an irate blonde as he considered shoving the ball somewhere unpleasant for the older man.
"It's the next stage, the first stage was rotation, this stage is power. You simply have to pop the rubber ball like you did the water balloon." said Jiraiya as the two of them neared the hotel they were staying at.
"Before you go doing this half-assed, try putting as much as possible in the ball, don't hold back. If the pervert wants power, then let him have it." advised Kyuubi, thinking this was going to be rather entertaining.
Shrugging, Naruto complied and shoved as much chakra as he could into the ball and once he did, several things happened in very close succession.
One: Jiraiya sent chakra to his feet and covered his eyes with his arms and hands.
Two: the rubber ball exploded.
Three: Naruto was sent flying.
Four: several other people were sent flying.
Five: a stand that sold Takoyaki collapsed.
Six: Kyuubi burst into laughter.
As the blonde genin recovered from his brief flight, Jiraiya was wondering if he was going to be able to complete the third stage due to the amount of power he had displayed.
"Alright Gaki, I guess that you've completed the second stage." Said the Sannin as he pulled out another balloon, though this one was empty.
'It was almost disturbing the way you did it, but it really shouldn't come as a surprise, considering who you are, I guess.'
"Now on to the final stage, containment." He finished before blowing up the balloon.
"Ne, Ero-sannin, was the fourth a childish person?" asked Naruto.
"A little, why?" asked a curious super-pervert.
"Balloons and rubber balls?"
"Good point. Anyways, the third and final stage to complete the Rasengan is containment. This is what I want you to do." as Jiraiya said this he held up his hand with the balloon in it, thus confusing the blonde as nothing appeared to be happening.
"And what exactly is it that I'm supposed to be doing?" asked the blonde.
"Maybe this will help you figure it out." said Jiraiya as he held out his other hand and formed a perfect Rasengan.
"Oh, you want me to make it a sphere instead of letting all the energy out at once...why?" wondered the blonde.
"Maybe a demonstration is in order." said Jiraiya as he approached a large stone that was in front of the hotel.
"This is what happens when you do the Rasengan with only the first two stages." he said, as he thrust the incomplete Rasengan into the stone, making several scar-like marks to appear on the stone, similar to his clan's symbol.
"And this, is what happens when you use all three stages." Finished the white haired man as he shove another of the jutsu into the stone, completely obliterating it.
"Whoa." was the intelligent response of the blonde, awed at the magnitude to the attack.
"Now, you are not allowed to train within any towns that we pass through, since I don't want you to destroy anyone's property." said Jiraiya rather sagely.
"This coming from the man who just destroyed someone's rock." deadpanned the blonde, causing the man to stagger slightly, but betray no other outward sign that he had heard the Jinchuriki.
"I'm sure I don't know what you mean." Replied Jiraiya before he and Naruto got their room keys before going their separate ways, one to train, and one to gather information about their target and to do various other things I can't morally say.
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX
Two Weeks Later
It had been a rather interesting two weeks for the pair. First, Naruto had discovered his almost disturbing luck when it came to gambling, with Jiraiya immediately capitalized on, making the boy gamble, only to spend all his winnings on booze and whores. Second was the two of them going from gambling town to gambling town following, unsuccessfully, rumors of Tsunade's whereabouts and somehow staying one step behind the entire way, while Jiraiya tried to get Naruto to read his books. Finally, Naruto made at least one hundred clones each day to train on the Rasengan (he was extremely grateful that every clone had on them what he had on him, or he'd have had to spend a fortune on balloons, not that he couldn't or anything :3, though he did stop using them after the first week) while he worked on his taijutsu, kenjutsu, and his 'secret project', while making sure that it stayed a secret from Jiraiya.
It was a rather pleasant day when the two men walked into town. Seeing that everybody was excited, Jiraiya decided to ask one of the passerby's what was happening.
"It's the Midsummer Festival, there's games, food, souvenirs, and there's the Midsummer Poker Tournament, our biggest tournament of the year. Anyone of age is allowed to play, and the grand prize is one hundred thousand Ryo." Replied the man.
"Thank you," said Jiraiya as he led Naruto a short ways away before finishing, "Biggest tournament of the year? Anyone allowed to play? One hundred thousand Ryo prize? This is a prime place to look for Tsunade. In fact, if you were to enter the tournament, you would be guaranteed to run into her if she enters."
As he was talking, he was also thinking of what he could do with the money if Naruto won (insert nosebleed here), it this point he actually looked his young protégé in the face, and frowned when he noticed Naruto glaring at him.
"What?"
"Why should I enter a tournament? If I lose, I get nothing, and if I win, you're just going to take my winnings again, and once again I get nothing. It's a lose-lose situation, and I don't really like it." Responded the pissed off blonde.
"'Sigh' I promise I won't take your money Gaki, I just want to find Tsunade." Said the white haired man as he continued thinking of what he would do with the money.
"You better hope so, 'cause I'm telling Jiji about your thieving when we get back, and I'm also telling this Tsunade." Said a smug Naruto, causing Jiraiya to pale whiter than a ghost.
"There'snoneedtodothatI'llpayyoubackjustdon'ttellT sunadeItookyourmoney!" he shouted so quickly that it was rather hard for the genin to understand, but when he did, he realized he had prime blackmail material.
"I won't tell Tsunade, but I want my money by tonight. I'll enter the tournament to find Tsunade."
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX
That Night
The festival was in full swing, children going from booth to booth playing games, winning prizes, parents following them, buying food, old men drinking sake on benches, and inside a large hall, the Poker tournament was starting. There were ninja's, civilians, bums, company heads, and various other people, with everybody wearing formal clothing.
"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Midsummer Poker tournament! We will first be holding elimination rounds of five people per table! After those are over, we will be holding semi-finals where the winners of those matches will once again play five per table, with the winners going to the final event and a chance to win the one hundred thousand Ryo prize! Each dealer is a shinobi of jounin status to ensure that there is no cheating, but each of you is allowed one spectator to watch your back. Now, would all one hundred twenty-five contestants please line up for a number, and good luck!"
And with that, all of the contestants began to file off to their respective tables to begin, with Naruto getting some corporate fat-cat with a thug with a katana behind him, a rather attractive young woman who was alone, a man who looked like a monk with what appeared to be his apprentice, and an old man who looked like he was about to crumble into dust with a very young boy who kept calling him 'Jiji'.
"Hm, there letting children play? What a disappointment, I was hoping taking everybody's money was going to be fun." grumbled the corporate man.
"You shouldn't discount him just because of his age, CEO-san." said the monk, getting nods from the woman and the old man.
"BEGIN!"
One And A Half Hours Later
It had been a rather interesting hour, in which people did try to cheat and were disqualified, people accused others of cheating, people losing all their money, and people tried to get Naruto thrown out due to his age.
It was the final round, and Naruto was taking his place.
"A child, what has the world come to where a child is in a poker tournament?" asked a blonde woman as she too took her place, with a rather attractive young woman with black eyes and hair, carrying a pig took her place behind her.
"Tsunade-hime? How are you? We should catch up when this is over." said Jiraiya, as he prayed that Naruto didn't do anything stupid.
"As long as you're buying the drinks." Acquiesced the woman.
"If you're done yapping, I'd like to get on with the game." said an Iwa jounin, a man with straight black hair in a ponytail down his back, black eyes, leathery skin, and who was wearing the standard Iwa jounin attire (a red shirt with one long sleeve, black trousers, and brown flack jacket with a pouch on the front) with two long quivers with several kunai handles sticking out the end on each of his hips, and who was alone.
"I concur." said another business man in a suit, who had what appeared to be his secretary behind him.
The only response from the last player of the table, another woman with someone that looked like her husband behind her, was a nod.
"Final round, winner take all, five card draw, ace high, let's begin." said the dealer as he cut the cards.
Thirty Minutes Later
The first victim of the game had been the businessman getting cleaned out by Naruto, followed by the woman getting cleaned out by the Iwa ninja, before the two of them took Tsunade's chips.
"All right brat, you're pretty good at this, what do you say we make this interesting, sudden death, all in on the next hand?" The Jounin asked Naruto as he pushed all his chips in the middle.
"I don't see why not." said Naruto as too he pushed all his chips in the middle.
When it came time for the two of them to show their cards, the Iwa jounin went first.
"Read 'em and weep brat, ace of hearts, ace of diamonds, ace of clubs, king of hearts, and king of diamonds, aces over kings full house, I win." Said the Iwa shinobi as he reached out for what he assumed was his winnings.
"Sorry, but no, I think I win." Said Naruto as he showed his cards one by one.
"Ten of spades." Said Tsunade at his first card.
"Jack of spades." continued the businessman.
"Queen of spades." said a very surprised woman.
"King of spades." Said a paling Iwa nin.
"Ace of spades." Finished Naruto as he grabbed his chips.
"Royal flush beats full house, winner is Uzumaki Naruto." said the dealer, causing the audience to erupt into various sounds of celebration and disbelief.
As Naruto was celebrating Naruto's victory and he was accepting his prize, no one noticed the Iwa ninja slinking off into the shadows, a dark look in his eyes.
'I don't know how you did it, and I don't care. But you will pay for this humiliation you brat. I will make sure of that.'
Ten Minutes Later
Random Bar
"Well Tsunade-hime, let's get right down to business. Sarutobi-sensei wants you to come back to the village." said Jiraiya in a serious tone that was immediately contradicted by him downing a shot in one go.
"No, I promised myself I would never go back there, I've lost too much." said Tsunade as she too downed a shot.
"Come on Tsunade-hime, Sarutobi-sensei is offering you everything you ever wanted before you left, full reign of the hospital, a slue of med-nins to train, money to pay off your debt collectors, you know, all that good stuff."
But before she could tell hem to shove his 'good stuff' somewhere 'bad place', Naruto spoke up.
"You should listen to him Baa-chan, it sounds like a good deal." He said, unaware of his impending doom.
"What did you just call me?" asked Tsunade, who had her eyes shadowed by her hair.
"Baa-chan, but I don't see-" he started before he was interrupted, aka punched through a wall by an angry woman.
"That's it you brat, it's not bad enough you steal my money, now you have to insult me! I'm going to destroy you!" Shouted an irate blonde as she followed a confused and slightly concussed Naruto through the hole.
"All right brat, since your just a gaki, I'll take it easy on you and destroy you with just one finger." Said Tsunade as she held up said appendage.
"Da-dattebayo?" Naruto said confusedly.
"Go on Gaki, kick her ass!" shouted Jiraiya from his position on the other side of the hole, as Tsunade's apprentice started panicking, talking about death and destruction of property, and worst of all, more debts that needed to be paid off.
'What the hell just happened Kyuubi?' Naruto asked his tenant as he sweat-dropped at the behavior of the adults.
"Who the hell cares kitt? Just kick her ass and be done with it." answered the Kyuubi, thinking it would be hilarious getting his container pounded into the ground by an old woman.
"I have no idea what's going on, but let's do this!" shouted the blonde genin as he made that oh so classic hand sign. "Kage bunshin no jutsu (Shadow clone technique)" causing five copies of himself to appear, startling his impromptu opponent, four of whom rushed her with their swords drawn as the original and the final clone began to run through hand signs, which they completed just as Tsunade dispelled the last of the four clones without so much as a scratch.
"Futon: Daitoppa (Wind style: Great breakthrough)"
"Katon: Gōkakyū no Jutsu (Fire style: Grand Fireball Technique)"
As the two unleashed their attacks, they combined and created an explosion which engulfed Tsunade for a full ten seconds before they cut off the chakra supply.
"Is she okay boss?" asked the clone before he an the original were sent flying from behind, dispelling the clone and revealing a slightly singed Tsunade.
"Congratulations brat, you managed to singe my clothes, but now I'm going to end this."
At this Naruto made a few more clones who charged while Naruto prepared his next attack. As the clones began to attack her, he held his right arm out with his palm up, with his left hand holding his wrist, unknowingly copying his copying sensei, focusing chakra into a spherical shape when he was finished, he charged the surprised woman with the technique. However, it was not meant to be, as Tsunade used her herculean strength to shatter the ground, causing Naruto to stumble and accidentally hit the ground with the technique, making the marks that showed it was incomplete. She then flicked his forehead, making his leaf hitai-ate fly off, before flicking him again, only this time in the stomach making him fly off, thus ending the fight.
"What the hell are you doing, teaching him that move Jiraiya? Giving him false hope. You know he'll never master it! I mean it took you a year to learn it and the fourth three to make it, and the two of you have, and had, talent. This no-name kid could never be able to do what you do!" Shouted Tsunade to a cowering Jiraiya.
"What do you mean 'never master it'? I could definitely do it! I bet you I could do it in three days! I have to be able to do the impossible if I want to be Hokage, dattebayo!" shouted Naruto, causing Tsunade to zone out for a second on flashbacks, before snapping out of it.
"Oh, is that so brat?" she asked, getting a devious idea, "Tell you what, I'll make a bet with you, you master the jutsu in three days, and I'll come back to Konoha, and I'll even throw in this necklace. And if you lose, I get all of your winnings for tonight."
"Why would I want a stupid necklace?" asked the blonde, caught up in the moment.
"It was owned by the shodaime hokage, and is worth so much you could buy three mountains with gold mines in them if you sold it." said Jiraiya from his position on the other side of the hole.
"Deal!" Naruto instantly shouted, causing everyone else to sweat-drop, before adding a stipulation of his own, surprising the female sannin, "If I win, you also have to teach me and my friend Haku medical jutsu. But if I lose, I'll also give you this." he finished, holding up the scroll that said 'medical seals'.
"Medical seals, what are those?" asked Tsunade's companion.
"They are a set of seals that do things like convert regular chakra to medical chakra, permanently sterilize a room, or increase the potency of any medical chakra within a certain area." explained Jiraiya, miffed that Naruto was willing to give Tsunade the medical seals scroll and not him.
"Hmph, fine brat, if that's the way you want to play, then deal. If you win, I'll come back to Konoha, give you my necklace, and teach you and your friend medical jutsu. But if I win, I get your one hundred thousand ryo and that medical seals scroll. It's a deal, see you in three days." said Tsunade as she walked off with her companion hurrying after her.
"Hmph, I'll show her, I'll...wait...WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?" shouted Naruto, once again confused as all hell.
"Dumbass"
'Shut up!'
"You sure you can do that gaki?" asked Jiraiya, understandably concerned.
"I already can do it, Ero-sannin." responded the blonde, startling the man, who couldn't believe that the boy had done it in just two weeks.
"What do you mean gaki? I saw it, you failed the jutsu, how can you know it?"
"I've been able to do it for a couple of days now, I just have to use a clone to do so." said Naruto as he began walking to the hotel. "I just need to up my training from a few dozen to a few hundred in order to do it one-handed."
"I hope for your sake you're right gaki." Said Jiraiya as he watched his young protégé walk off to prepare for the next day of training, before realizing that he was now stuck with the repair bill for the bar's wall.
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX
Next Day
Nine O'clock At Night
Naruto had made good on his promise to Jiraiya about his training regimen and had increased his clones to two hundred and fifty. It had been a full fourteen hours of non-stop work, and he was mentally and physically exhausted. However, just as he was about to go to bed, he heard a knock on the door. When he opened it, it was revealed to be Tsunade's young companion who had knocked.
"May I come in?" asked the woman.
"Sure, um..." Replied Naruto, not actually certain of his visitors name.
"Oh, how rude of me. My name is Shizune." She said, holding out her hand.
"Ah, Naruto," he said back as he gave her hand a firm shake, "What can I do for you?"
"You need to call off the bet." said Shizune seriously.
"What?" asked a confused Naruto.
"You need to call off the bet," she repeated, louder than last time, "You have no idea what's at stake here. I don't know what caused Tsunade-sama to bet that necklace, but you can't take it! It will only accept her wearing it, and if you take it, it will kill you! She already gave it to two others who were the most important people in the world to her, and they died the next day!" She stated, shouting at this point.
"I don't care, I will win that bet, and Baa-chan will be coming with us to Konoha. Something like a cursed necklace won't kill me, I still have to become Hokage."
"You don't understand, you can't-" Started Shizune, before getting interrupted by Naruto.
"I don't really care. If she knew the risks and still bet the thing, then I'm going to take it when I win. If she didn't want to let it go, then Baa-chan shouldn't have bet it."
"I guess I can't convince you to give this up huh?" asked Shizune, getting a shake of the head from the boy. "Very well, just answer me one thing. Why do you keep calling her Baa-chan?"
"Because she is." Naruto replied simply, then held up his hand, stalling any objection she might have. "She is Senju Tsunade right? Granddaughter of Senju Hashirama, right? That means that she is the granddaughter of Uzumaki Mito, The first hokage's wife. That means she is part Uzumaki, Which means that, in some way, shape, or form, we are related." He finished, ecstatic that he had another person to call family.
It was at that point that Naruto pulled out a photo and handed it to Shizune. As she looked at it, it was revealed to be a picture of him on his knees with an arm each around Keihi and Asagao in front of their home.
"That's my ototo-kun Keihi, and that's my imouto-chan Asagao. I found them on a recovery mission to Uzugakure, they were being raised by a man named Arashi who asked me to take them to Konoha because they wanted to be ninja's and he couldn't go because he was dying, which is weird, because if he was so sick, then he shouldn't have been able to take us to Uzu. Anyways, he asked me to take care of them and to do everything I could for them. That's the reason I applied for clan status in Konoha, the moment I become chunin, I become the head of the Uzumaki clan in Konoha, and if she wants, she's more than welcome to be a part of it." Said Naruto with a tone that spoke the utmost certainty.
It was at this point that Shizune got up and made to leave, saying, "I see. I hope you win your bet then."
'Tsunade-sama, has been so sad since my uncle and her brother died, maybe being a part of a new family will let her move on, she deserves happiness.'
"Oh! Naruto, I also wanted to ask, who is this Haku?" She asked him, turning back, and was then surprised when her answer was a blush and another picture.
This picture, while it had the three Uzumaki's, it also had an old man in red robes, another man with gravity defying silver hair and a mask, and a beautiful young girl around Naruto's age, who had straight black hair down to her waist, black eyes, and a light blue battle kimono with snow flakes on it.
"The old man is Jiji," He began, before getting interrupted.
"You call the hokage 'Jiji'?" asked an incredulous Shizune.
"Yep. Anyways, the masked man is Kakashi-sensei, and the black haired girl is Haku-chan." he said, making Shizune raise an eyebrow, before a devious smirk appeared on her face.
"Oh? Haku 'chan'? Does somebody have a girlfriend?" She asked, making Naruto splutter and poorly deny the accusation.
"This is your sensei? If he's there, where are your squad mates?" asked Shizune, who's response was a rather sad smile.
"They didn't want to come." He answered, causing her to drop the subject.
They then spent a little time trading stories of their respective sannin, and then said their goodbyes, preparing for the day of the bet, neither realizing that two people had heard the entire conversation, each with very different mindsets.
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX
Final Night Of The Bet
It was the day to put up or shut up, the day that determined the fate of two individuals, it was the day for Naruto to demonstrate that he could use the Rasengan, and it was just Naruto and Tsunade that day as they walked out of the town. Jiraiya was still sleeping, and Shizune was cleaning her and Tsunade's room. Tsunade was acting rather strange in Naruto's opinion, and when he asked about it, she gave him the last answer he would have ever expected.
"I-it's just...I...I heard you talking to Shizune." She said, getting wide eyes from Naruto, "I had never really thought about the Uzumaki side of my family, only really paying attention to my Senju heritage, so I thought I was all alone in this world. I-if I do come back, can I really live in the Uzumaki district? I'd like to meet the rest of my family." She asked, to which Naruto nodded his head before pulling out the same picture he showed Shizune of him and the twins.
"That's Keihi-kun, and that's Asagao-chan, I bet they'd love to meet you, especially Asagao-chan, you do seem to have that effect on kunoichi and those aspiring to be one." He joked, causing her to bop him on the head.
"That's good to know you little fucker, I'll be sure to visit them." Said a voice from behind them.
As they turned around, it was revealed to be the Iwa shinobi from the other night, except this time he had a scratch through his hitai-ate, symbolizing he was a rouge-nin.
"After of course, I kill you tree huggers, loot your corpses, find MY money, and maybe have a little fun with that black haired whore. It was just going to go on their names from that conversation with the girl, but a picture will be so much easier, I'll also have to visit that girlfriend of yours." He finished as many more people surrounded the two of them.
"Conversation, you were listening?" asked Naruto as he got into a ready stance along with Tsunade.
"The first to kill one gets a reward!" He shouted, causing several of his thugs to (believing them to be a helpless woman and child) rush them and what few civilians were in the area to flee.
It was when the first man got to them, however, that a problem occurred.
The man had foolishly attacked them from the front, going for a jumping vertical slash. That is, until Tsunade instinctually punched him hard enough in the stomach to liquefy his organs, forcing a large amount of blood out of his mouth, and onto Tsunade.
"Holy shit!" Shouted everybody there except for Tsunade and (of course) the guy she just punched, staring at his prone form before looking at a trembling Tsunade, who had collapsed and was staring at the blood on her hands.
"I don't know what just happened, but I guess it was just a fluke. Kill them!" The Iwa shinobi shouted again, once more prompting his goons to attack.
It was as Naruto was defending the two of them when his shinobi instincts kicked in, he traded blow for blow with the bandits, knocking them out one by one, only getting a scratch or two, before they got smart and started going after Tsunade, making it difficult for him to defend, as they seemed to suddenly know the importance of coordinated attacks, not letting him have a moment to retaliate.
However, even the most proficient of fighters make mistakes, and these were just a bunch of random a-holes. When a man stumbled on a rock on the path, it allowed Naruto to whip out one of his swords and, without thinking, slash it across his enemy's throat, making the rest of them back off.
"Incompetent bastards. I'll take care of this!" Shouted the Iwa leader as he stepped forwards drawing a pair kunai, each with a meter long blade (2) from a quiver of them on each of his hips, one in each hand.
"Prepare to die you little tree-hugger bastard!" he screamed as he charged the young genin, who drew his swords and ran to intercept the man.
When he was within reach the Iwa nin thrust the kunai in his left hand, which Naruto knocked out of the way with a thrust of his own, which the Iwa nin dodged by jumping back around twenty feet. He then immediately threw his kunai at Naruto drew two more, stabbed them into the ground to the handle, and started doing hand-signs.
As Naruto blocked the kunai, the Iwa-nin finished and shouted Doton: Sekken (Earth style: Stone swords), before pulling on the kunai, bringing them up, along with a coating of stone, making them a few inches longer, thicker, twice as heavy, sharper, and charged with chakra. He then charged at Naruto again, who also sent chakra to his own blades to counter.
It was just not to be however, as the Iwa shinobi was a jounin for a reason as he simply overpowered and outran the blonde and started to simply slash at him without remorse, some were blocked by Naruto's blades, and some by his haori, but he still got several severe slash wounds on his body, legs, hands, and a few on his face before getting kicked away.
"Dumbass, take off the weight, and kick this bastards ass!"
'Whatever you damn fox!' Naruto mentally screamed as he put his hands in the tora seal and flared his chakra twice, making all one hundred fifty pounds that his seals placed on him disappear before shifting to the cross-seal and made a few Kage bunshin before once again focusing chakra into making a Rasengan before charging the man, who had made a clone of his own and was destroying Naruto's.
As he rushed the two of them, the clone noticed Naruto coming and placed itself between him and his master and took the attack, and while it was destroyed, it only got the spiral scarring, indicating that it was an incomplete technique.
"What was that supposed to be brat? Was that the Rasengan? The fourth must have just been very lucky and fought nothing but genin and chunin if that was one of the jutsu that ended the war!" Shouted the rouge-nin as he destroyed the last of Naruto's clones, before charging him, causing Naruto to clap his hands together and thrust them at his opponent shouting Futon: Juha Sho (Wind style: Beast wave palm), knocking the man back, giving him room to prepare his next jutsu as he skipped backwards, "Futon: Kaze no yaiba (Wind style: Blade of wind)" he shouted before firing off the near-invisible jutsu. However the black haired man dodged it, but not quickly enough, as he was cut on his left arm, causing it to become useless, and making him drop the blade.
"You little bastard! That's it, I'm going to kill you, but first I'm going to slit that whore's throat in front of you!" Screamed Naruto's foe as he dashed towards Tsunade's still trembling form, drawing back his blade to end her life.
Letting out a victory cry and closed eyes, the nin thrust with his weapon, and heard the satisfying sound of pierced flesh, before feeling something wrap around his hand. Opening his eyes, he saw Naruto sanding over Tsunade with the rock-enhanced kunai buried in his left palm with his fingers wrapped around the mans hand keeping him there. He was about to simply pull out of the boy's grip when two hands suddenly burst out of the ground along with a clone, the hands wrapping around his ankles, and the clone jumping on his back, and putting him in a triangle choke, preventing him from moving.
The original then held out his right hand, gathering chakra once more into his newest jutsu.
"Hah! If that's what you're going to use, then I have nothing to worry about! Come on you little tree-hugger fuck!" the Iwa man taunted, causing Naruto to get so pissed he actually skiped the irrational thinking stage and became extremely focused.
Naruto then shoved the spinning ball of chakra into the enemy's chest. At first however, it didn't look like it was doing anything, before the leathery-skinned man gained an expression of pain, before vomiting blood and shooting off through a kiosk, leaving the kunai in the blonde boy's hand, and into a wall, where he fell to the ground in a lifeless heap.
Naruto then pulled the kunai out of his hand dropping it on the ground with a clang, before turning to Tsunade, who was once again having flashbacks.
"I win, Baa-chan." he said with a smile, which Tsunade returned, before Naruto was sent flying by a blow to the chest from a man who looked like a boulder with limbs, carrying a hammer that probably weighed more than Keihi did.
"YOU LITTLE BASTARD! You killed the boss! Let's get 'em" He shouted, making the others cheer as well. It also seemed to make something snap in Tsunade, as, with a loud scream, she immediately forgot the blood that covered her and punched the fat man, instantly killing him, before turning on his colleagues.
It was at that point that Jiraiya and Shizune appeared, the latter going to check on the boy, and the former to join the blonde woman.
It didn't even take a cursory glance for the young medic to see that there was a serious problem with the blonde.
"Tsunade-sama, his chest cavity is completely caved in (3), I can't heal this!" Shouted the black haired woman, making her master break off the slaughter, to join her.
"Shit, he's loosing too much blood. He's not going to make it at this rate." Said the sannin, as she shoved a few hemoglobin pills into his mouth and then continued treatment.
"Come on brat, get up!" she shouted as she saw her brother's and her lover's face overlap his.
'Damn it! Damn it! DAMN IT!' Tsunade mentally screamed as she noticed the seal on Naruto's stomach start to shimmer.
"What is this darkness? Are you dying kit? I'm afraid I can't let that happen, you need to live if I'm going to kill that Uchiha bastard." Said the fox, as he pumped as much chakra as he could into the boy to heal his injuries, not realizing how lucky he was that Naruto hadn't heard him.
'Don't die! Don't die! Don't die dammit! You can't die!' Was the mantra in Tsunade's head as she continued to pump as much medical chakra as she could into the boy in front of her, pulling every trick she knew to keep him alive, some that only she knew, before pausing at a tugging feeling around her neck.
When she looked down, it was revealed to be Naruto's hand around her necklace, as he smiled at her and said, "This is *cough* mine now, Baa-chan," before once again going into unconiousness.
"He's okay," sighed Shizune, glad that they had gotten Naruto out of immediate danger, though the two women continued treating him, as he could easily slip back.
'Being Hokage is your dream, huh? One more time, for the last time, I want to believe in someone. Become a great shinobi gaki, become one that's even better than the person you are now.' Thought a smiling Tsunade, as she took off her necklace and put it on Naruto.
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX
Hospital Next Day Four P.M.
The first thing that Naruto ended up doing when he regained consciousness was the one thing he hated doing more than any other.
.
.
He stared at the bland white celling of what he assumed was a hospital room, judging by the smell of bleach and antibiotics wafting through the air.
"Why is it always white? Why can't it just be an awesome shade of orange or something?" He asked the air, startling the person on his left, before he was glomped by Tsunade, almost causing his wounds to open up.
"Don't you ever do that again, do you hear me?" she asked, getting a pained groan from the boy.
"You dumbass, kit! You almost killed me!" screamed the kyuubi from his prison.
'Almost killed you? What about me?' demanded an indignant Naruto.
"What about you?"
"-uto! Naruto! NARUTO!" shouted a voice, preventing the blonde from making a scathing comment to answer Tsunade.
"I'm sorry, I zoned out, what did you say?"
"I just wanted you to know that when you're completely healed up, we're heading back to Konoha."
"Oh, ok." he said, nodding, before her words actually registered in his head, "Wait, we?"
"Yes, we. You won the bet," Said Tsunade, pointing at the necklace Naruto was now wearing before continuing, "Shizune is packing for us as we speak, and I also have to keep an eye on those siblings of yours, Kami forbid Jiraiya has an actual influence on them."
"That's true," Naruto told her, nodding, before a thought occoured to him, "Wait what about that guy I was fighting?" He asked, but before Tsunade could answer, someone else did it for him.
"You killed him gaki. Congradulations, that was Yoshida Nobo, a high B-rank missing nin from Iwa. I sealed his body into a scroll so that you could get the his bounty when we return to the village." said the voice, revealed to be Jiraiya sitting on the windowsill.
"I-I killed him?" Asked a trembling Naruto as he looked at this hands.
"Yes you did,: Jiraiya told him with the most serious expression Naruto had ever seen on his face, "While he was your first kill, he will not be your last. Murder, torture, theft, blackmail, extortion, and many more things that would send any normal civilian to jail are daily occurences for shinobi, and if you can't take it then you need to find a new line of work gaki."
"Do you ever get used to it?" Asked Naruto.
"No, no you don't. While you may be able to suppress the guilt, you will never fully get used to it, I haven't. And if ever you do? Quit. If you ever stop feeling guilty at death, you have been doing this job for way too long."
"I, I understand ero-sannin." Said Naruto, making Jiraiya fall out the window and Tsunade laugh at the name.
"Damn it brat! I told you to stop calling me that!" Shouted the man, regaining his place on the sill.
"Ne, ero-sannin," Naruto continued, making the man fall onto the floor on his hands and knees mumbling about 'disrespectful brats', "You know those kunai Nobo had, and the things they came in?"
"They're called holsters dumbass."
"The kunai and their holsters? Why would you want those? You already have your swords, those," at this point the man made the 'air quote/bunny ears' signs with his hands, "Uzumaki Shuriken, your sealing supplies, and the standard kunai and shuriken, why would you need anything else? Are you trying to be a weapons master?"
"No, of course not. But just because I wont use them, doesn't mean that no one else will. I want to put them in the armory when we get back." He said with a smile, causing Jiraiya to do the same.
"Sure gaki, I'll put them into a scroll for you. Now, on to more important business, why didn't you use those shuriken of yours, summons, or your Kokketsu?"
"I...well...um...I forgot?" Said Naruto sheepishly, causing three voices to say the same thing at the same time.
"DUMBASS!"
"DUMBASS!"
"DUMBASS!"
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX
Two Days Later, Road To Konoha
Naruto had been fully healed (it made a bit of a difference when you had a friend that could help you regenerate, a gene pool that made you almost impossible to kill, and the single greatest medic in the world on your side), and it was finally time for the group to go home with most of them being very excited. Jiraiya was excited because of future 'research' prospects, and because Naruto had told him that he would finally be able to see his 'experiment' if it went right. Naruto was excited to go home to see Haku, Asagao, and Keihi, as well as to see if his 'experiment' went right. Shizune was eager to get going because she and Tsunade were finally able to stop roaming Hi no Kuni. Tsunade was excited because she would be able to run the hospital as she saw fit and to visit her new family. And Ton-ton was being carried by Shizune.
About an hour after they had left, something with several discriptions happened, depending on the viewpoint. Naruto had found it awesome, Jiraiya and Tsunade had found it surprising and got into battle-ready stances, Shizune and Ton-ton had found it terrifying, a couple of spandex wearing males would have found it 'youthful' in some manner or another, and a certain bun-haired girl would have found it highly erotic (4).
It was a massive explosion, large enough to form a mushroom cloud.
"YEEEESSSSS! It's beautiful, datebayo!" screamed an ecstatic Naruto as he fell to his knees, lifted his arms so they were parallel to the ground, and cried.
"What the fuck was that?" screamed a terrified Shizune as Ton-ton buried her head into Shizune's clothes.
"It was my newest invention." Responded the crying blonde.
"And what would that be?" asked Jiraiya, extremely worried about the blonde and his intentions with whatever it was he had made.
"Well…I liked the explosions from tags, and I found it surprising that such a large blast could come from something so small, so I thought: 'what would happen if one were to make and exploding scroll?'" Said Naruto from his place on the tearstained ground.
"Naruto, four things are going to happen. One; you are going to teach me how to make that, two; you are going to hand over all of the exploding scrolls you have now, three; you are going to tell Sarutobi-sensei about this, and four; I'm going to buy you all the ramen you can stuff into your face, you FUCKING GENIOUS!" Jiraiya told him, the volume of his voice increasing until he was shouting.
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX
Konohagakure No Sato, Hokage Tower
"…and after Naruto's explanation, we proceeded home without complication, Sarutobi-sensei." Finished Jiraiya as he stood in front of the Hokage's desk.
"Very well Jiraiya, Naruto-kun, you may pick up your pay first thing tomorrow morning. Now, Naruto-kun, I'd like to see this 'exploding scroll' of yours, and I request that you teach it to a few people whom I choose."
"As long as it's not Sakura or the teme, I really don't care who you want me to teach it to. Though I would prefer that as few people as possible know about this Jiji." Responded the blonde.
"Very well. Anbu, please bring Nara Shikaku, the Anbu Commander (5), and my advisors here please." Asked Hiruzen as Neko appeared.
"Wait, Neko-san! Could you also bring Higarushi and by younger siblings here as well?" asked Naruto.
"Please do so Neko." Said the hokage as the female Anbu looked at him for conformation.
About ten minutes later, the seven people sent for arrived in the office along with Shimura Danzo, as he had been having a conversation with the advisors when they had been sent for.
"What is it you wish to discuss, hokage-sama?" asked Mitokado Homura, one of the advisors and apparent spokesperson for the group asked.
As the hokage was about to answer, there was a rather shrill shout of "Aniki!" as twin red blurs shot towards Naruto, knocking him over.
After a tearful reunion, and introduction of the twins and Tsunade where she almost killed them both via suffocation with her massive breasts, the group was led by the hokage to an isolated cliff overlooking a section of the forest.
"Would you please explain now, Hokage-sama?" asked Homura once more.
"If you would Naruto-kun." he indicated the blonde, instead of answering.
"Well, I'm not sure what you're here to do, but I'm here to blow something up, Higarushi-san is here to witness it, and tell me if he wants to sell it in his shop, my siblings are here to meet Baa-chan, and Baa-chan is here to meet the twins." he responded.
"Hmm, interesting. And why would we be here to witness an explosion?" asked Utatane Koharu, the second Advisor.
Instead of answering, Naruto made five clones, gave one a scroll, and sent him off.
After about five minutes of conversation, Naruto stood up along with two of his clones and each shouted, one at a time,
"Fire in the hole," shouted the original, facing off to the left.
"Fire in the hole," shouted clone one, facing forwards.
"Fire in the hole," shouted clone two, facing right
"Three," shouted the original again, facing the same direction.
"Two," shouted clone one again, also facing the same direction.
"One." shouted clone two, who was facing the same direction as well.
(6)
It was at that point that Naruto punched his final clone in the head, dispelling it. Then, after a brief delay, a MASSIVE explosion once again tore through the woodlands, forming a mushroom cloud.
At this point, the shared thought in everyone's head, including those who had already seen it (except for Naruto), was, 'HOLY SHIT!'
It took about five minutes to get everybody back to the world of the living, and after they did, Naruto had a discussion with the hokage on who to teach. Naruto only wanted to teach Jiraiya, but the Third asked him to also teach himself, Shikakau, Tsunade, and the Anbu commander as well, and that it would be listed as another B-rank mission, with pay, for him if he did.
When that was settled Naruto and Higarushi began to talk about selling the scroll, and eventually came to an agreement. Higarushi would sell it in his store, but customers would have to special order them, as the man didn't want something like that in his store for any extended period of time.
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX
One Week Later
It had been a busy week for pretty much everyone in the village, but none more so than five of the six residents of the Uzumaki district, and one ice user, Naruto, Keihi, Asagao, Tsunade, Shizune, Haku.
Naruto was training pretty much non-stop on his chakra control in order to learn even the least effective of medical jutsu Tsunade had promised to teach him (7). He had also learned and taught Tsunade and Shizune the seals that could convert regular chakra to medical chakra (that little fact pissed off Jiraya to no end), and was moving on to various other medical seals though he had slowed down with them for the moment. He would also train with both the twins and Jiraiya
The twins were placed into the Academy, which was an extremely proud day for the three Uzumaki's and lead to the three of them being placed in the hospital for overeating at Ichiraku's as Tsunade and Shizune teased them while Ton-ton comforted them.
For Tsunade and Shizune, they had moved into one of the houses in the Uzumaki district. Tsunade had then turned the hospital on it's ass with the help of Shizune, training several medics to enhance their abilities, and training new ones, including (and in this story, most importantly) Haku. Tsunade would also attend meetings with Jiraiya and the Third Hokage, in which no one knew what happened.
Haku would spend most of her days with Tenten, who helped her with her weapon skills, in the hospital, working on her medical skills, and working directly under Tsunade, for whom she had become a second apprentice, or with Naruto.
It was a rather nice day and Naruto and Haku were eating together on a bench after getting some onigiri(8), when two square rocks with eyeholes walked up to them.
After the two of them stared at the boxes and vice versa for a few minutes, Naruto finally couldn't handle it anymore.
"What are you doing? I've repeatedly told you that rocks aren't rectangular."
"That's just like you to figure it out, just what I'd expect from my rival." said one of the 'rocks' as they began to flash a bright white before exploding in a massive amount of smoke.
"Cough, cough, cough, too much smoke." said a voice as the smoke cleared, revealing six children, five of whom were wearing goggles on their foreheads.
"I am the future Hokage, Konohamaru." Said a boy with brown hair and eyes, a long blue scarf, and a skull cap, as he struck a pose.
"I am the sassiest kunoichi in Konoha, Moegi." said a little girl with orange hair done up in two gravity defying pigtails and blush-marks on her cheeks, as she too struck a pose, but behind and to the left of Konohamaru.
"I'm the smartest boy in Konoha, Udon." said a boy with his black hair in a bowl cut, snot coming out of his nose, and glasses, as he struck a pose behind and to the right of Konohamaru.
"I'm-"
"Anoying." Naruto interrupted the boy, who turned out to be Keihi.
"That's not fair Aniki, you should have let him finish." said Asagao, who had her hands on Keihi's shoulders as he crouched in the dirt with a raincloud over him.
"Can I go now?" asked the only one who wasn't wearing goggles, a girl that was a Hyuuga based off her eyes.
"Sure Hanabi" sighed Konohamaru, prompting the girl to leave.
"You said you were gonna play Ninja with us today, Aniki." said a recovered Keihi.
"I find it cute, but why would you play ninja, Naruto-kun?" asked Haku.
'She likes him' was the combined thought of the five children.
"Because they want to be ninjas." explained Naruto, "It helps with things like evasion, kunai and shuriken throwing skills, hiding, detection, trap making, and other things." explained Naruto to a nodding Haku.
"Is this your girlfriend boss?" asked a smirking Konohamaru, making the two teenagers blush. "I like this one more than that bitch with the huge forehead." he remarked, causing the other four children to nod their heads.
Then, an aura of death enveloped the area, making Konohamaru, Moegi, and Udon slowly turn and see a demonic Sakura.
Keihi and Asagao were concerned as well, but only for the other three's safety, since while Naruto was around, his natural 'Aniki Instincts' pretty much made them untouchable, as demonstrated when Sakura ate dirt the first time she had tried to hit Keihi for in his presence for being 'rude'.
"YOU BRAT!" screamed Sakura.
At this, the 'Konohamaru Ninja Squad' ran away screaming, followed by a furious Sakura.
"Lets go make sure Sakura doesn't kill them." sighed Naruto, prompting the other three to follow him.
As they neared the corner, they heard a voice say, "Hey you little shit, that hurt!"
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX
Well, that's that, now here's an omake
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX
Omake
Jiraiya's Teaching Methods
It was an average day in Konoha, the birds were chirping, the trees were green, several individuals were leaving to go shed the blood of people they didn't know, and somewhere a blonde haired boy and a white haired man were having their first lesson.
"Why am I supposed to wear this?" asked Naruto as he fiddled with a collar with a rather large black box on it that Jiraiya had made him put on (cookie if you know what it is).
"Just a little incentive to get the seals right." Responded the pervert, as he fiddled with a small black cylinder with a red circle on top that fit in the palm of his hand, "All right, I want you to write the most perfect raiton barrier tag I showed you that you can, I don't care about speed, I just want quality."
At this Naruto nodded and took out his sealing supplies, a brush, an empty paper tag, and a bottle of ink made with his blood.
Naruto slowly drew the seal for the tag as well as he could. After about a minute, he was finished. Blowing on it to dry the ink he then handed it to Jiraiya for quality Inspection.
Two minutes of examination later, Jiraiya had a solemn expression on his face.
"Sorry Gaki, this isn't up to snuff, I'm going to have to punish you." He finally said
"What do you me-AAAHHH!"
ZZZAAAPPP
"Get up you big baby, it was only twenty-five thousand volts" scolded the toad sannin as he glared at the twitching form of his apprentice.
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" screamed Naruto, still having muscle spasms on the ground.
"A shock collar." Replied Jiraiya nonchalantly.
"What? Why would you give me a shock collar?" asked the blonde.
"So you'll get it right…and it's funny as all hell." Said the sannin as he pushed the button again.
"AAAHHH!"
"Now man up and write that tag again."
"How 'bout you put this damn thing on, see how much of a 'man' you are?" Grumbled Naruto
Unfortunately for Naruto though, the sannin had heard him.
"Are you kidding me? That crap hurts, there's no way I'm putting that thing on." He said as he once again pressed the button.
"AAAHHH!"
Yep, just another average day in Konoha.
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX
This one I had originally planned being in the next chapter.
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX
Omake
Psychologist's report
Team 7
Uzumaki Naruto: Extremely hyper, ADHD, color-blind
Uchiha Sasuke: Emo
Haruto Sakura: Teenage-girl syndrome (9), OCD, stalker, violent, anorexic
Team 10
Nara Shikamaru: Chronic indolence
Akimichi Chouji: Overweight
Yamanaka Ino: Teenage-girl syndrome, klazomania (10), Anorexic
Team 8
Inuzuka Kiba: Identity crisis (11), extremely aggressive, klazomania
Shino Aburame: Stoic
Hyuuga Hinata: Social Anxiety Disorder, stalker
Team Gai
Rock Lee: So many, many things
Hyuuga Neji: Superiority complex
Tenten: Piquerism (12), obsession with lethal objects, explosives fetish
Suna Team
Temari: Aggressive, sadistic
Kankuro: No common sense, gender confusion (13)
Subaku no Gaara: Angsty, homicidal
Jounin
Maito Gai: So many, many things
Hatake Kakashi: Perverted, chronically tardy, depressed
Mitarashi Anko: Blood fetish, sexually promiscuous
Sannin
Senju Tsunade: Gambling addict, alcoholic, violent
Orochimaru: Pedophile, inhumane
Jiraiya: Sex-addict, peeping tom, egotistic
Akatsuki
Deidera: Pyromaniac, egotistic, gender confusion (14)
Sasori: Gender confusion, necrophilia
Kisame: Identity crisis
Itachi: Sadist, little brother complex
Tobi: Multiple personality disorder
Zetsu: Multiple personality disorder
Hidan: Extreme masochist
Pein/Nagato: God complex
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX
And I'm done.
Poll for summoning contracts is still up and since the last chapter, it has gone from eleven votes to sixty-five with my favorite in fourth, having seven votes. I will also say that after the Chunin exams, the 'surprise' contracts will be revealed.
I'd also like to know which, if any, Kage's should come to the chunin exams, along with the Kazekage and the Hokage.
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX
1: Think of what Nami does to Usopp when they first meet after the time-skip.
2: The kunai the prajna group shinobi use against Danzo when he's heading to the Kage summit in the manga, except they have a ring. In the anime, they use regular kunai and actual swords.
3:I don't know if this is actually a survivable injury, let me say that he can already take injuries that would kill a normal human due to his training and physical conditioning, such as the hole Sasuke punched in his lung, point blank explosions, poisoned wounds, and those hits from Tsunade. And like I explained, he has a giant fox made of infinite energy that can heal a fist sized, electrically charged hole through his lung, a blood-line that makes his family so hard to kill that even the instant death effects of a biju extraction only make them tired, and the person known as the single greatest medic in the world on his side, and if you don't like it, you can sodomize yourself with a rusty pipe from an the Cleveland river.
4: Why do people always say that Ten-ten gets horny for explosions? I'll admit that it's funny, but seriously what the hell?
5: They refer to the Anbu commander as the Anbu Commander to keep his identity secret, and because I can't think of a name.
6: This is actually standard procedure for any group that sets off an explosion that requires the use of a bomb tech in order to legally be allowed to set off said explosion. You yell 'blast danger, clear the area', and then 'Fire in the hole' in three different directions, count down from three, and only then can you make un muy macho grande BOOM!
7: If you're wondering why he would learn medical nin-jutsu if he has seals, you can't run a diagnostic with a seal, you can't make a seal if everything you have on you is soaking wet, and sometimes you don't have the opportunity or the time do draw one. It's just best to keep your options open
8: Rice balls that are wrapped in seaweed in a way that makes it seem like a grip and filled with things from okaka (dried, fermemted, and smoked, skipjack tuna), to squid, to miso, or nothing.
9: A state when a girl has a strong, unhealthy, attraction to a boy she like and thinks about him constantly
10: Shouting for no reason
11: Thinks he's an animal
12: Sexual interest in penetrating the skin of another person, sometimes serious enough to cause death
13: Plays with dolls
14: Well, we're confused about it anyways
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX
Quote of the day:
"I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't let you do that."
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX
Next time on Black Blood: The Chunin Selection Exams, and another (this time canon) Uzumaki! (You know you live in a desert right?)
This concludes experiment log No. 0043