Chapter 75!
Title: 'In Alternate Universes'
Note:
Ok, so this part of the story is non-linear compared to the rest.
Last time I left you he was about to answer the door to meet Sakura… but I felt like this needed to be explained first.
This takes place in something like an Alternate Universe of Growing Pangs', but this isn't an extra, it's actually part of the story line.
I won't spoil it for you, but I don't think it'll be hard to figure out what's different about /this/ Growing Pangs universe.
Disclaimer: I own nothing!
… … … … … … … … … … … …
"Haruno-san." I turned when I heard my name being said so respectfully. I immediately recognized her: she was the nicer one of the two receptionists.
"Yes?" I asked.
"You're here to visit Hatake-san?" She asked for verification, checking her little clipboard of recent admittances. I nodded quickly. She smiled when she checked her paper, "You can go see him now."
The receptionist pointed me towards the door that led to the hospital rooms, I already knew where his room would be -recent and short term admittances always ended up with the left hallway-, but I thanked her for the directions anyways and went through the doors, glancing back as Naruto went to sit back down. Sai was still smiling at me.
I turned away quickly.
I almost sighed at how I much drama I was probably going to have to deal from him later.
I could just imagine him trying to set up fake dates for Kakashi and me, making us talk to each other alone… well, as long as he didn't snoop around for too long, I guess Sai could actually help us find time together without really knowing that we were already way past the stage he thought we were at.
I did sigh when I realized, despite how annoying those little games sounded, I was still kind of looking forward to them.
This lifestyle was turning me into some sort of stereotypical danger-seeking teenager or something.
Well… I guess it didn't matter right now.
I took the left turn down the hallway.
'Right now' was perfect.
It was that time after a mission wrapped itself up and we were free from worrying about anything for at least a couple days until things got in our way again as they always seemed to do.
But for right now, this was just another happy ending to another crazy mission. Everything seemed back to normal already. Even walking to his 'usual' hospital room seemed part of the normal schedule now.
...
I peeked through the window. The room was dark, but the moonlight from the window was enough to see him lying on his side, sleeping.
I smiled as I opened the door quietly. I walked a few steps into the quiet room.
I could hear him sigh in his sleep when I closed the door behind me.
My eyes adjusted to the dark as I walked up to his bedside.
Just like last time, the hospital staff seemed to understand not to take off his mask, but took off his jacket and shirt to treat the cuts along his arms, sides, neck, and chest. My eyes lingered on all the red lines and the large purple bruises on his stomach and chest, I could even see one forming on the side of his bandaged cheek from where Hiroki punched him with the handle of his dagger. It was a little painful to see him like this, but I tried not to focus on that.
I pulled the chair closer to his bedside, quietly. I focused instead on the pace of his breathing, on the way the moonlight reflected off his shoulder as it rose and fell, how his eyebrows furrowed a little in his sleep like he was having a bad dream.
I reached up to his face. My fingers smoothed his forehead gently. He didn't look so upset anymore.
I let my fingers peek into his hair, brushing through the strands once.
I always did love running my fingers through his hair, it was one of the first things I wanted to do when I realized I had feelings for 'Kakashi-sensei'. I would probably do it more often, if I ever got the courage. I knew he wouldn't mind if I did, but although he was the one who would always run his hands through my hair, I just felt like he wouldn't like it as much as I did or something.
But the way his face lost all its tension and calmed when I let my hand run through the silver strands again told me otherwise.
I smiled to myself, having too much fun just looking at him.
I moved my hand from his hair and let it find the bruise on his cheek, tracing it lightly. His nose twitched like it tickled. I wondered if he was actually awake already.
I could almost imagine him speaking up when I least expected and saying 'You know, sleep harassment is a punishable offense.'
My smiled widened at the thought.
I was feeling kind of reckless right now. My fingers slid between the mask and his cheek.
Maybe I was turning into a 'danger-seeking teenager'.
I knew he wouldn't mind me kissing him, but while he was still asleep, that seemed like I was asking for him to make fun of me or worse.
I pulled at the fabric a little more, the edge of it close to slipping over the tip of his nose.
But.
My hands suddenly stopped.
I didn't move for a long moment.
Not because I was having any second thoughts or because I was afraid someone would see… but because… I didn't know.
I had no idea why I hesitated.
I just didn't know what to do…
…
I sat there like that for so long I thought he might wake up naturally before I moved again.
I looked for some sort of sign that he was waking up, tension in his eyes or quicker breaths.
Nothing.
He was still sound asleep.
This felt weird.
Different.
I had no idea why but I had expected him to wake up right then, and… something horrible would happen…
… what?...
Why would I think that?
… I don't know… but something horrible was supposed to happen, wasn't it?
But it wasn't….
It wasn't happening.
I had no idea what, but I could almost feel as if something was different.
As if a little part of time had forgotten to work right.
This wasn't the way things were supposed to happen, but it didn't seem to matter to reality…
Even though something was different, I didn't feel like the world would try and fix it… it was as if reality had missed its train but wasn't going to wait around for the next stop.
And just before my heart could settle with relief that whatever horrible thing was supposed to happen had actually been avoided, it picked up like a toy jackhammer when I heard that voice:
"I can't wake up until you kiss me." His masked face smirked under me, his eyes were still closed.
His voice sounded really hoarse, but I barely noticed.
The moment I heard those words, the moment his voice found my ears, I felt something in my heart swell. I couldn't understand it at all, but it felt as if I did.
Whatever this feeling was it was making my eyes a little blurry, but I ignored it. I took a deep breath, almost chuckling into it.
"So, am I the prince?" I asked, tired laughter still in my voice.
He didn't say anything. His eyes were closed, but I could tell he was still awake by that smug look on his face.
The only response he gave me was poking his chin up a few centimeters, as if waiting for me to do something.
I wondered if the medication had gone to his head for a moment. I didn't really care. Even though Kakashi was unpredictable, the way he was acting didn't surprise very much.
I let my hands flatten on either side of his face before leaning down. I took a small breath as I let my eyes take in as much of him as they could before I closed them again and planted a frail kiss on his masked lips, fighting back how much more I wanted to put into that out of spite.
I sat back up again quickly.
He didn't do anything. I felt like he was asking for something better.
"That was it." I spoke up bluntly after a moment, breaking the dark silence.
"No, it wasn't." The 'sleeping' man -or princess- spoke up, telling me I was wrong.
I would've rolled my eyes for show if he could've seen me, but I decided against the theatrics when an evil plan came to mind.
So he wanted a real kiss, right?
I pulled back the fabric of his mask over his nose, passed his jaw, he tilted his head obediently to let the fabric fall past his chin. I could tell he was only joking around, that he wasn't very invested in his teasing. That only reinforced my determination to act out and give him a run for his money.
I let my hands find his face again, but I barely touched him. Only my fingertips grazed him.
I looked at him for a moment, quietly inspecting the mean bruise that was settling across his left cheek. I ran my fingertips around it carefully, letting my other hand trace along the border of his mask and skin, which was now along the underside of his jaw.
I could see even the smirk weaken its hold on his lips when I grazed my fingers up to the center of his forehead and let them gently climb and fall along his features downward. He let out a little breath that could have been a chuckle, but it was as if he was too relaxed to actually make a sound.
My touch paused on the nearly nonexistent smile of his.
I could tell he was getting serious.
For a moment, I too, lost focus on the game when I had to take another minute in my life to reassure myself that this was real and that this man really felt what I felt for him for me…
I smiled at how ridiculous that sounded in my head, but mostly at how happy it made me.
My left hand reached up to his right temple again, gently cradling the side of his head. He leaned into my palm, as if he wanted to feel more. I could tell he was distracted a moment later when I let my fingertips run along his lips slowly. His eyes were still closed.
I felt his lips tense against my skin, as if he was actually asking for more.
I leaned lower over him until my lips were only centimeters from his.
I hesitated.
I could tell he was getting impatient.
I smiled to myself as I let my lips land on his cheek gingerly.
This time I heard him chuckle to himself, almost at himself, my own smile widened knowing I ruined an embarrassing moment of anticipation for him.
My lips left him and I was about to sit up again until I felt a tug pull me down; I hadn't noticed when his hands had found the sides of my face.
But I didn't have time to think about that or to be surprised before he had already started kissing me.
I fought for balance after the way he just pulled me down to him, but I didn't care how balanced I was a moment later.
The way he was kissing me.
I would've thought he hadn't seen me for months. Usually, even at this point in our relationship, I could feel that small bit of restraint in the way he kissed or touched me. I could always sense how much he was thinking about everything he was doing.
Not this time.
He was moving so fast, I would've been worried about how quickly he went from passively teasing me for more than a peck to how he was pulling me onto him.
But I could feel my own breathing pick up.
His hands wouldn't stay still, they were brushing my hair out of my face, sliding down my neck and onto my shoulders to bring me closer and then down to my waist, and along my back. I was really starting to get jealous, he was able to feel me as much as he wanted, but I couldn't like this.
I pulled away using most of my inner-strength.
"This is against the rules…." I managed to whisper before he leaned up and reached my lips anyways. "You're cheating…" I mumbled against his mouth as clearly as I could. I was surprised I had enough thought to even think about the game he set up a moment ago.
I felt him smile against my lips. He stopped moving, but didn't back away.
"You're right." His lips were grazing my own still, "This is breaking more than just one set of rules, but it's not cheating…" I couldn't wrap my head around that statement before he was having his own fun again. I tried to lean away from him, half-heartedly, he only followed and sat up completely. His hands still couldn't stop moving. I was getting a little dizzy. I pulled away as well as I could, he took the moment to get back some oxygen as well, if not to say something that shook me more than a little.
"This is what I do in my dreams, anyway." He looked down at me in my silence, his eyes went from my eyes to my lips. "I could still be asleep for all I know."
He tried to lean in, but I took this one moment of mental clarity to combat his hypnotizing words, "I promised you I'd be here when you woke up… not before… so maybe I should leave."
His lips found mine for a moment, but he pulled away this time, "You should." He kissed me again before pulling away again, I was getting annoyed by that, "But I don't think I could let you." His voice was still really hoarse but I could still hear that tone of voice he'd use whenever he tried to make something true sound funny.
I smiled a little, "You would."
"Let's not find out." He barely finished those words before he was distracting me again. He folded his hands behind me, his arms locking me closer to him so I couldn't interrupt him by scooting away.
It was so rare to see and feel Kakashi act like this.
The way he probably felt all the time.
I wanted to feel more and know more about this side of him, to figure him out and have fun knowing the side of him no one else did, but the moment I recognized a wince in his expression I had to stop it.
"You're going to hurt yourself if you don't calm down." I managed to whisper between us.
My hands found his arms and gently picked the off from around me so that he could pull away.
He seemed to listen to reason again.
He let out a tired sigh.
"And I thought I was the responsible one." He looked back at me.
I really couldn't do anything but smile for a long moment.
His own smile brightened back as I watched his eyes look over my face a couple times… like he was admiring something he couldn't see.
I was surprised at how unembarrassed I was at that.
I noticed his smile weaken as pain took over his expression again. The bruise on the side of his face caught my eye. I wanted to kiss him again, but for the sake of being 'responsible', I didn't.
Instead I looked down at my feet, and with some sort of attitude of routine, I kicked them off before I pulled my legs onto the bed. I looked over to Kakashi and he was already resting on his original side of the hospital bed, looking up at the ceiling.
I huffed a little when I noticed he wasn't going to do the polite thing, what he did last time, and move over for me.
"You're like a kid." I grumbled as I crawled across the foot of the bed to get to the other, roomier, side of the bed.
He laughed hoarsely as I grumbled again just as I reached the right spot along his side, turning over so that I could lay on my back. I knew I must've looked like a kid acting like this, but I didn't care.
Whether I felt like a kid or woman didn't really matter anymore…
I just wanted to be by him.
I settled into that familiar and perfect spot by his side.
There was something about our height or something, not that I would know what it would be like to lie in a bed with another man, but every time I slept next to Kakashi it always felt so comfortable.
I felt him lift up his right arm and I leaned forward obediently as he let it rest under my neck.
...
Everything was calm for a moment.
...
I took a deep breath and relaxed.
I let the side of my head rest on the edge of his chest, which was mostly covered up by the sheet I regretted I wasn't under as well, I could hear his heartbeat clearer than usual.
Deep, strong, solid, warm.
This feeling… so perfect...
I took another deep breath. I felt him do the same.
I loved the way his chest moved up and down like that.
I let my right hand fall onto an uninjured part of his chest, just to feel him.
I think I only spoke up because I wanted to hear his voice when he answered, to feel it like I always did when I was this close.
I found something to say that I had actually been thinking about before.
"You know…" I started… "You really are making a habit of getting yourself in the hospital." It was true. The fact that this was the second time this month that I got to lay in a hospital bed with him was strange enough. Especially since the Kakashi-sensei I remembered would only end up in the hospital twice a year or so. "Are you doing it on purpose?" I joked.
He was silent for a moment, I closed my eyes while I waited those few seconds.
I was getting impatient to hear his voice again, but he answered eventually.
"I wish I was."
That sound… that feeling… it was perfect, but I found myself distracted by his tone. He sounded… serious. I opened my eyes.
"Sakura." The way he said my name, He was serious about something."I didn't want to tell you earlier…" His voice rumbled again, but I didn't even pay attention. I leaned up a little, resting my balance on my elbow to look him in the face. He was still staring at the ceiling, his other hand resting under his head. It took everything I had to keep focused on the conversation and not to climb on top of him and run my hands along his arms and shoulder and chest and…
I have to stay focused.
I looked away from him and to my hands on the bed.
"What?" I asked, realizing that he might be serious, but not really believing it, "Are you getting too old for fighting or something?" I joked.
"Hey." He sounded serious again, but I knew it wasn't for the same reason as before. "If I'm old enough for that then you're too young to talk to me like that."
I felt like he was scolding me for a moment, like I was that fourteen year old again. Which was ridiculous because I could remember when I was fourteen and he actually preferred it when we thought he was 'old'… I guess because it gave him an experienced edge.
But now that we're like this…
I sighed at myself before taking it back.
"Ok, I didn't mean you were old…" He didn't say anything, but I could almost feel his attitude get a little smug after I admitted to being wrong, I ignored that feeling though to finish my sentence, "… I just mean… well, it's not like you're not in shape." Without much of a second thought I let my hand slink under the sheet over his chest a few inches, pointing out what I meant:
He was definitely in shape.
I let my hand run along his skin a bit, I was careful not to graze any of the lacerations.
His breathing paused for a moment, I could feel him tense under my touch but he didn't make any move to stop my fingers from wandering the red labyrinth up and down his chest.
After a few more seconds he found his voice.
"I'm not." His eyes were closed as he breathed out that answer.
I had to take a moment to realize he actually said that.
I had been joking before, but if he really thought he wasn't in shape, we had some serious problems. It was one thing for a girl my age to worry about her diet and strength training, but Kakashi was… Kakashi… if he had self-image issues I was going to have to beat them out of him or something.
"What are you talking about?" I didn't care to use any tact when I exclaimed that question, my volume increasing for a moment. But he stopped my fit with one word of explanation.
"Mentally."
I shut up.
'Mentally'?
He nearly smiled at my sudden lack of reaction for a moment before he took the sheet and gently tossed it from over his legs. He leaned up with a wince and pivoted on the spot to let his legs over the side of the bed. I let my hand fall away from him without a struggle when he sat up.
I just watched silently, sitting upright in the little rumpled mess of the sheets, understanding that this wasn't as ridiculous a situation as I thought it was going to be... and that he's probably given this a lot of thought... whatever this is about...
He turned his back to me and rested his elbows on his knees. I was concerned about what he must've meant, but I still found myself mesmerized.
As if I hadn't seen him like this in ages I found my eyes glued to his bare back, the way the scarce moonlight shone off of it, how his shoulder blades moved with every breath. I wanted to reach out to him, but I wasn't really sure if I should. I decided to wait until he said or did something.
He sat still for a long moment before he spoke up again, his voice still raspy. "I'm losing my focus."
His tone was so different.
Serious, but… sad?...
I shifted on the bed a little, leaning closer to him, trying to peek around to see his face.
"What?" I asked simply for him to tell me more.
"You shouldn't sound so surprised. It's really common with…."He started with some energy before it died out altogether.
What did he mean I shouldn't be surprised?
"With?" I asked him to finish his sentence since I didn't really understand.
I heard him take a deep breath. He turned back to me for a moment, "After the war, and the Kyuubi…" He paused as if he had to deal with some unwelcome memories. That alone was enough to distract me too… I had forgotten Kakashi had probably already become a Juunin by the time the Kyuubi attacked, that he would've been a part of the battle as well.
I brought my attention back to him when he spoke up, "… we started to call it the 'Soldier's Heartbreak'… like it was a disease…" He smiled wryly at himself as if he was a little ashamed of that now. He turned away from me again.
I remembered that phrase somewhere… a 'soldier's heartbreak'….
I didn't need to ask or say anything before he started to explain.
"… Men and women would start to make more mistakes in battle when something,… someone, in their life started to mean more to them."
Now I remembered hearing it before. Tsunade-sama had talked about it a little bit when she got drunk one day -among many days-… it was the anniversary of the death of a man she loved very much. 'Dan' I think Shizune said his name was.
And I had overheard Gai-sensei teasing Asuma-sensei about the danger of slipping into 'heartbreak' because of Kurenai-sensei… but I hadn't really thought about it.
Or how it happened.
"Why?" I asked, genuinely curious, but sticking with simple questions.
And then, just like that, I heard Kakashi-sensei's voice again. That lecturing tone.
I didn't mind… I asked him to explain something like a student would have… so I listened.
"Shinobi are raised to live and function without emotion- although Konohagakure is lenient about these things because we've learned the advantages of comradery…. But other nations forbid personal relationships because…" I could see what he was saying by this…. "… whenever a shinobi got too distracted, they would almost always mess up and get himself or his team ki-"
"You won't." I stopped him from finishing.
I took the moment I said those two words as the perfect opportunity to give in to what I wanted. I let my arms fall over his shoulder, leaning my chest against his back. I crossed my arms loosely across the front of his shoulders.
He was so warm.
I had almost forgotten the moment I felt him that I was the one who was trying to comfort him.
Without saying anything first I felt him take a breath, raising my arms and my head which was resting on my arm with his shoulders, before he reached up and gripped my arms gently.
I could almost see his smile when he spoke.
"I'm glad you seem to trust me that much, but I've already started showing symptoms." His thumb brushed against my skin softly.
"You could train more." Was the only suggestion that could come to my mind at first. "To stay on your toes."
"More than three times a week?" He asked with a hint of dismissal. "I'd turn into Gai." He joked… I hoped.
I thought through other solutions as well as I could now that my focus was split into thirds. A third of my mind on what we were talking about, another third on what he must be thinking, and the last third on how good it felt to hug him like this.
But, my whole brain was taken over by a suggestion that bothered me… but was still a valid solution to solving this.
"I could…" I didn't want to say it… "… we could take a break."I tried to sound as unbothered by the idea as possible. It didn't work very well.
But I didn't have time to worry about how responsible or mature I looked when I felt his hand pull me a little and noticed that his shoulders were moving towards me.
His lips were on mine no longer than only a few seconds, but he had left a deep impression in just those few.
He pulled away.
"No." He said simply, looking me in the eye. I looked back, staring between his natural eye and the red sharingan.
"So you'll train more?" I brought back the first offer as nonchalantly as possible. Until I remembered what he joked about."You won't really turn into Gai-sensei, will you?" I asked as if I thought he would… though a part of me was a little worried that if he got too serious about his training he would borrow a jumpsuit from Gai-sensei or something.
He just laughed at me.
At least he wasn't so serious anymore.
"You should've seen me when I was your age." He leaned back, not letting go of me though, forcing me to practically lie on top of him. I was worried that with his bruises and cuts I would hurt him by resting on him like this, even though he's the one that was holding me on top of him. I would've given him a fuss about that if what he said hadn't sparked my interest severely.
'My age'?
Kakashi… as a sixteen year old?
How weird…
Whenever I had imagined a younger Kakashi I had always thought of him as either a twenty-something year old or as the thirteen year old in his first team picture. I hadn't even tried to imagine what Kakashi would've been like… what he would've looked like… at my age.
I bet he was cute. Not 'handsome' like he is today, but 'cute', like good-looking boys my age are.
I kind of wanted to know what he did look like…
"When you were sixteen?" I rephrased, the interested apparent in my voice.
"I would train for hours every day… but it wasn't for the same reason as Gai. He pushes himself to prove he's good enough to protect the village… I just wanted to be stronger… after the Yondaime died I couldn't think about anything else… If I had maybe I could've saved…." He got quiet again… like he was revisiting some more unwelcome memories.
… I wondered how many he had… sad memories.
… Of course he would have a lot.
He's lost his family… his friends… his whole team.
If I had gone through that much by this time in my life… I probably would be really different, too.
I tried not to think about it, and instead brought up my other wonderings in an attempt to wake him up from that expression he was wearing. He was looking up at the ceiling but he had that same expression he got every time he mentions the Yondaime… or his father….
"I bet you were cute when you were my age." I tried not to sound as much of a teenager as the sentence made me sound.
He immediately tucked his chin to look at me, me, who was still locked in his arms and halfway on top of him. That sentence definitely woke him up. I half-expected him to laugh, but he didn't waste any time in replying almost immediately.
"'Were'?" He asked about the past tense concerning the word 'cute'.
I laughed.
He let me go and I tumbled off of him and onto my back as I laughed harder.
This man, the same one was always bothered when I said he was 'cute', was now asking for the title even after I thought he was too good for it.
"It's not really polite to laugh at a man's ego, Sakura." He lectured shortly, looking over at me.
"No, it's nothing…" I breathed deeply, regaining oxygen. "I didn't mean you're not… cute…" I laughed at the word again.
"It's fine." He brushed my reaction off like it didn't matter. "But I remember that when I was your age, the girls were stalking me wherever I went, trying to get a moment of my time to confess their feelings to me."
My mind flashed back into an abyss of embarrassing memories about Sasuke for a moment with that description.
I tried to ignore that and focus on what I was planning on saying anyways.
"I believe it." I smiled at him as I turned to him, looking him in the face.
He was smiling…
I felt like I had accomplished something by causing that.
"Most of the women in the village still feel like that, though." I admitted with a hint of jealousy, but mostly pride.
There was an undeniable satisfaction in knowing that the man all the girls were after was with me. Though I wouldn't tell him I felt like that or he'd just make fun of me.
"I doubt that." He argued. "I've turned most of them down too many times. Besides, many of them are married now…"
"'Most'?" I repeated a little pointedly.
I felt him chuckle against me.
He was quiet for a moment, like he had to think about what to say next.
"I was sixteen."
That was his excuse.
… I couldn't believe I bought it… but it did make sense… plus, it's been thirteen years since whenever he went out with those girls.
Thirteen.
… wow…
I wonder how much he's changed from the person he was at sixteen.
How much could a person change in thirteen years?
"I can't really imagine it." I said aloud, interrupting the calm quiet that had settled between us for a moment there. "A sixteen-year-old Kakashi." I elaborated.
He took a deep breath.
Again, I loved the way his chest rose and fell beside me.
"Good." He said finally, "I wasn't the kind of kid I'd want you to know about." His voice sounded a little tired. Like the memory of the younger him was all that exhausting.
"You weren't that bad." I told him as if I could possibly know.
"I was…." He insisted. "But I could have been worse." He allowed that bit of room for his sixteen year old self.
"What changed?" I asked, looking at the ceiling as I listened for his response.
"Got older." He summarized. "Life taught me a few things the hard way." Again, he sounded tired with memories.
I wanted to know more, but I knew I shouldn't pry… at least not yet.
Maybe someday I could ask him more about it. But for now I settled with closing that question.
"I guess we all have to start somewhere." I recited a bit of spontaneous original proverb.
He laughed a little. "Now, you're starting to sound old."
I took offense for only a split second before I thought of the perfect comeback.
"Learned from an expert."
"That again?" He groaned. His arm around me tightened a little for moment.
But I distracted him from his complaining with a question I knew he couldn't see coming, only because I hadn't seen it coming until the moment I asked it:
"Do you think we might've been together if we were the same age?"
His arm and chest seemed to shift a little after I finished that sentence, like he had actually jumped in surprise at the extremity of the question.
We were both quiet for a long time. I really didn't know the answer to my own question this time.
I think we both just needed a moment to try and figure that out.
… It was strange that neither of us, or I think neither of us, had thought about this before.
We've always been so worried about the age difference that we hadn't even thought about how we would've been together if we were… the same.
...
The quiet lasted a moment longer.
...
I was surprised that he was the one who thought of something to say first.
"Well…" He started slowly. "If I were your age…" He trailed off for a moment as if he really had to think back and put himself in his sixteen year old shoes.
I waited.
"I don't think I would've even noticed you."
What?
"Hey!" I piped up suddenly sitting up as well to get a look at him. I wanted to be serious but I could feel a smile pull at my lips.
He was already smiling too, looking up at me with that look I knew so well… he always smiled at me like that when something he did pushed my buttons just right to get a reaction out of me…
"I'm just telling the truth." He laughed.
"Whoa, hey!" I hadn't expected him to keep that answer, let alone call it the 'truth'. I found an uninjured section of his arm and punched it lightly, my smile wider than before though I wish I could've hidden it.
"As a medic-nin you should know not to beat the injured." He lectured as he brought his arm back to him.
"As a man you should know better than to tell the truth to a girl." That came out weird, I wanted to take it back, but it was too late.
He was already laughing louder than I think I had ever heard him laugh before. I was even scared that the receptionist halfway across the establishment would hear and come in to tell me I was make too much of a disturbance or something.
"Shh!" I shh-ed him, leaning over to him, frantically placing one of my hands over him mouth, muffling his laughter just a little.
He calmed down after only a few more seconds. His larger hand pulled mine off of his mouth, but he didn't let go of it.
I checked the door nervously before I heard him again.
"You're definitely starting to sound older." He said quietly, his breathing still a little fast. At first I thought he was picking on me again, but his tone… it almost sounded like praise.
He looked up at me for another quiet moment, my hand in his. I was leaning over him, my knees on the bed.
I loved moments like these.
Quiet but so… full…
I didn't know how to explain it.
But just as I was about to lean down and kiss him, he spoke up, interrupting me, "What I meant was: when I was sixteen I didn't really notice girls that often… at least not in the way they wanted to be noticed." He paused. "Not in the way I would want myself to notice you." He added a little seriously.
That was kind of a harsh thing to say about himself… but I didn't doubt it was true. I knew Kakashi had something of a womanizing streak in him… like all boys had, I guess….
It must've been worse when he was younger.
…
He looked at my hand for a moment, inspecting it a little.
There were little cuts on my hands from the mission.
I wanted to pull my hand away, he just held on.
"But I imagine… if I had grown up in your year…" He continued, still looking at my hand. "Maybe I could've been the kind of boy you need…."
I felt him brush his fingers over my palm, I look down at it. There were four crescent-shaped cuts lined up in the middle. I had done that to myself accidentally just a few hours ago. He looked at the cuts a moment longer.
His lips met the collection of small red lines softly.
I could feel my heart pick up little.
"I don't 'need' a 'boy'." I argued simply as he pressed his lips against another collection of scrapes on the underside of my fingers. I felt his lips smile as I finished that sentence.
That kiss lasted only a few seconds until I felt his lips graze against my skin hearing his voice again, "What about me?"
"Huh?" I woke up a little from the hypnosis his touch had put me under.
He looked up me this time.
"If you were twenty-nine, what would you think of me?" He pressed his lips against my wrist this time, his eyes still keeping contact with mine.
I felt a little distracted, but I still had something of an answer.
"I've never been twenty-nine before but… I think I would think you… were full of yourself."
He smiled again, his lips still grazing my skin.
"Anything else?" He asked.
Of course there was… I was just trying to get some payback before… but it didn't seem to work as well as I had hoped, especially since I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open with the way his lips were touching me.
I thought for a moment, trying to pry my mind away from his touch.
"Uh… I think I would… look up to you." I ended up sounding so stupid, I couldn't' think straight.
"Even though we'd be the same age?" He asked, his lips climbing my arm just a few centimeters.
"Well… I think everyone pretty much looks up to you…" I answered truthfully, "I mean… aren't you next in line for Hokage?"
His lips left me.
I opened my eyes a little more.
"That's actually a long and tiring debate with the higher-ups… but if we were a separated village… I probably would be forced to step up in case Tsunade ever fell in battle." He explained with an uninspired tone. "But that shouldn't mean very much…"
I laughed a little, "If Naruto heard you say that I think he'd punch you."
He chuckled, too, but he didn't take it seriously. His eyes were watching his fingers intertwine with my own.
"But… actually... I could imagine having some kind of crush on you." I finally managed an answer. He looked at me, his mismatched eyes looking at me like he could see more than I wanted him to. "A lot of women have a crush on you, though… even some of the guys, probably."
"But you wouldn't feel anything different than them?" He ignored my joke and went straight for the heart of the question. I looked away for a second before forcing myself to look back at him for my answer.
"I probably would."
"What if I were sixteen?" He didn't even pause to accept my last answer, he just wanted to know another… it was almost like he wanted to know that no matter who we were or how different we were, we'd still be here, together.
My heart started beating a little faster when I realized this might mean more to him that I thought.
"Didn't we already…?" I brought up the fact we had already talked about him being my age.
"I only told you my side…" He corrected, "What would you feel for a self-obsessed, power-hungry teenager like me?"
…
I took a moment.
And then I decided.
…
"I would have hated you."
…
He looked down at our hands. His grip tightened on mine.
"Fair enou-" He started quietly.
"But you weren't really that self-obsessed, were you.…" I stopped him from accepting that answer. He looked up at me. I leaned down a little.
"You say you were… but I know that the same man who told us on our very first day together as a team that 'leaving a friend behind makes you worse than scum' could have never been so 'self-obsessed' that he didn't secretly wish to become stronger only to protect the people he cared for... so he wouldn't have to lose anyone else." I leaned down closer to him, my voice getting quieter. I didn't notice a change in his expression at all.
"If you had asked me what I would've felt for a boy desperate to fight for the people he loved, I would've answered differently." I smiled.
My smile was pleasantly interrupted when his lips found mine. I could only guess that this meant I was finally starting to figure him out. But just as the kiss grew deeper, he pulled away. His forehead still touched mine.
"Sakura…" The way he said my name. No one could say it like that. "I wish I had had you back then…" His hand tightened around mine again. "Maybe I wouldn't have made so many mistakes."
…
"But at least I have you now…" I answered. "Maybe I won't make the mistakes I would've without you."
He breathed a chuckle.
"Well, I think you've already made at least one." He told me before kissing me again, lightly.
…
I knew what he was saying.
I decided to ignore what he really meant.
…
"Yeah… I think I shouldn't have let you fight Hiroki all alone. You obviously can't take care of yourself." I joked.
He smiled again.
I leaned down and let my lips meet his this time.
Our lips didn't separate for a few minutes.
It wasn't until we were both too tired did we stop. I was tired of leaning down, and he needed some actual rest after slipping into that mini-coma before.
I rested against his side again.
Everything was quiet and good for a moment.
I thought about how I didn't want to be anywhere else in the world except right there… and I wondered how much time we had left before I had to get up and go back to pretending.
When would we get some more time to ourselves?
I remembered Sai and his offers for 'help'… maybe he could help set up some sort of date with me and Kakashi?
… But Kakashi wouldn't know…
Then, out of nowhere, I just decided to say something...
"You know what?" I asked calmly… more calmly that I thought I would be telling him this. In fact, I had kept it from him for most of the last mission on purpose… but I guess there really wasn't any use in that now.
"Hmm?" He answered without any effort. His voice rumbled a little.
I loved it, but I needed to stay focused.
I tried to think about how to phrase this.
It had to be said a certain way so he didn't get worried or something.
I sat up again, to look at him.
His eyes were closed, he was enjoying the moment I was about to ruin.
"Sai… knows that I like you." I dropped the ball on that one… it sounded stupid and it was too straight to the point.
He was probably going to take it a too seriously, now.
A moment of quiet passed, I waited impatiently for some sort of response.
And then I heard it.
"You 'like' me?"
I just looked blankly ahead of me for a split second.
Then I got enough sense to gently punch the uninjured section of the arm I did before.
"Be serious." I told him plainly.
He laughed a little, rubbing his arm. "Well, I didn't really expect him to figure that out. Should've known better…"
…
"That's it?" I asked a little incredulously.
"Sakura… you're the one who worries over everything." He pointed out quickly. "Besides, I don't think Sai would bother us."
"He wants to help me win you over." I pointed out quickly, trying to prove him wrong out of spite.
"You could use some pointers."
He looked back up at the ceiling like that was a worthy end to the conversation.
I didn't think so.
"What?" I ask a little loudly.
He looked back at me, "In the past twenty minutes you've teased me, called me old, hit me, said you hated me, laughed at me, and now want me to spend all my free time training… I'm not feeling romanced."
"But you're the one who said half those things, too!" I fought for myself.
"You're not much of a charmer." He ignored me with that sentence.
"Unlike you?" I argued back, trying to make it sound like an insult or something.
"I don't charm." He corrected.
I just sat there, looking at him in awe.
How could he even say that!
"Yes, you do!" I corrected back. "That's all you do!" I took it one step further as I scooted closer, resting my right hand on the other side of him so that I was hovering over him.
He opened his eyes and said in a very plain tone:
"No…. I act the way I always have. You just find it charming now because you 'like' me."
The moment I realized he was more than half-right I bounced back onto the mattress, lying on my back, my arms stiff at my side with frustration.
"You're annoying." I nearly-grumbled. "I've always thought so since I first met you." I half-lied.
After only a moment's hesitation he was the one now hovering over me.
I lost my train of thought, already fixated on everything I could see of him, but that one word woke me up a little:
"Exactly."
…
"Mmmffmn!" My comeback was muffled by his lips. He didn't even pull away to hear what I had to say. After a few seconds I kind of didn't care anymore either, after all I was just going to tell him how he was just annoying.
But I would have been lying anyways.
He just laughed at me like he usually did, his lips never pausing for a moment. This time I could let my hand run through his hair the way I've been waiting to do for so long. And just like always, his hair is softer than I thought it would feel. My hands stop on the back of his head the moment his lips left mine to graze across my jaw.
He pressed his lips down against the side of my neck, the way he always does, his shoulders hunching unevenly in a way that made my hands reach down to them. I loved how smooth his skin was.
I had thought when I was younger that a man who had been on so many missions would have to have had rough skin… I didn't know why I thought that, but the way Kakashi felt… he proved that wrong. I let my hands slide along his shoulders and arms almost greedily as his lips found the follow of my neck.
I knew this should be normal routine now, this kind of intimacy, but it still felt new in a way. Everything about him and the way he felt was distracting, it was as if any other sensation in the world was drifting away.
I was already half-deaf to the world when I heard him say something.
"You know what?" He kissed my skin again, following as far along my collarbone as my shirt would allow, I was starting to wonder if I should take it off.
"What?" I asked without really caring, my hands still running across his shoulders.
His lips barely left my skin as he said his next words.
"Naruto knows that I 'like' you."
That woke me up a little.
"Huh?" I opened my eyes, and leaned up a little, interrupting his kisses for a moment.
He didn't stop though.
He had finished with as much of my lower neck area as my top would allow, he was focusing on my left shoulder now. I noticed a flash of movement as his tattooed arm reached downward to the hem of my shirt. I felt his fingers slide under the fabric a few inches, lifting it up as he reached upward. His hand grazed along my skin, once he reached high enough, exposing my stomach; he closed his hand so he wouldn't feel too much and kept kissing along my shoulder.
I was almost falling back into that hypnosis until he spoke again, "He hasn't offered me any help though, maybe I could ask-"
"Wait, how does he know?" I interrupted him, snapping the moment as I sat upward to talk to him eye to eye. "Aren't you supposed to be the best liar in the village?"
He blinked at me.
He seemed a little annoyed that I stopped what he was doing, but he seemed to understand that this was more important than that.
"Well, thank you…" He regarded my comment about his lying abilities and something like sarcasm "…but you should know how easy it is to notice the way somebody else acts around the person you care about."
…
That made sense.
Though, I was hoping Naruto had gotten over me.
I wasn't that nice to him when we were younger… I'm still not that nice to him…
… Ugh… That made me feel twice as guilty.
I decided to ignore that for now and focus on what Kakashi had just said, 'you should know'… I do know, don't I?
"Yeah… but you practically lead the other women on." I voiced my slight distaste with more punch that I thought was necessary when he suddenly leaned forward again, his lips going back to work on the tip of my shoulder, as if this was just any old conversation.
That annoyed me a little, but we had already agreed he was annoying.
So that gave him some sort of allowance at being annoying... ?... That didn't sound right.
Despite how he didn't seem to care about this as much as I did he still paused for a moment to argue back with his own point:
"I never lead any women on." He corrected. I didn't know if he was right or not… if the women fall around him because he's attractive, that's not really him leading them on, is it? That sounded like weak logic to poke around at, but I didn't get a chance to when he pointed something else out, "What about you and that feudal heir kid… or that bastard that landed me in here?"
My stomach jumped a little.
I had never really talked to Kakashi about this before. At the time all that happened we were in a situation where we couldn't talk through why they cause us trouble. He had always just accepted it and taken care of it with me.
I barely even noticed his lips on my skin as I answered his half-serious argument. "Ok, first, that boy was just evil and stupid…" My logic was bullet-proof on that one, wasn't it? "... and Hiro-… he just liked younger girls." I left out the part where I agreed to meet with him and all that… but it really wasn't necessary. I did it for the mission and what I thought I could have felt for Hi-… ugh… Hiroki, was just because of the chemicals he made for me to feel like that.
I was woken with a start from those horrible memories when Kakashi was suddenly distracted from what he was doing to lean away and say something.
"That's why he was so obsessed with you?" He asked like it was such a foreign concept for an older man to like a younger girl just because she's young.
"There aren't a lot of other reasons." I argued back, irritated by his sudden mood change.
"You'd be surprised…" He said quietly, but before I could check if it was just my ears playing tricks on me he had already started saying something else… "I guess it's like the saying: 'a woman in love is twice as attractive'…"
I didn't really handle that like a compliment, especially when I was busy try to keep my balance when he was pushing me back down onto the bed. I felt a twinge of nervousness, much less than I would have felt a month ago, but it was still there.
"Does it work that way for men?" I kept talking, if not only because I was actually curious, then because I just wanted to distract him a little.
It didn't seem to work since the moment I finished the sentence I noticed his fingers closing around the zipper of my shirt. Again, a month ago that would have meant a lot more to me, but it had only been less than a day since what happened at the hot springs.
Even though we had had a long conversation about where our relationship stands, it almost felt like we created some sort of barrier between what we're ready for and what we weren't, so now I wasn't so nervous or confused about anything else. I just hoped he wouldn't forget this conversation because I was starting to already, with every noisy link the zipper separated I was forgetting more and more.
When my shirt was completely undone, I thought he was just ignoring me by then, but he seemed to have just been waiting for that before he would answer me.
"Maybe…" He started shortly, looking at my face for only a second before his eyes dropped lower. "I don't remember getting this much attention when I was single." His lips found the base of my neck again, it was like he wanted to start at the beginning again.
"But," His lips moved lower.
"… I didn't really…" he kissed just a few centimeters lower.
"… notice a difference…" he kissed a little lower.
"… from when…" another kiss, lower.
"… I was…" lower.
"… your age."
By the end of that sentence his lips had already travelled down the center of my chest, passed the center link of my bra, to the top of my stomach. I was already breathing kind of hard, the fact I knew he could tell I was because my chest was rising and falling so noticeably was kind of embarrassing.
He sat up a little, like he was done doing that.
But that was before he leaned back down altogether.
I was ready for another kiss, but he had turned to the right. It only took me a moment to realize he was listening for my heart.
I felt like he had done all this just so that he could listen to my heart beat as fast as it could, which it practically was.
I wanted to distract him from the embarrassing fact that I was still more sensitive to all this than he was.
"You must have been really popular when you were my age." I said stupidly, barely able to say two words without taking a breath.
I felt him laugh against me for a moment. He either thought I was funny for acting like this, or maybe… he was like me and he liked the way my voice sounded when he was this close.
"I'm more popular now, actually. I think it's because I don't have that attitude anymore." He said nonchalantly.
"More popular?" I recited, getting my heart a bit more even with every passing second. "How is that possible? I thought you said the women of the village were starting to leave you alone."
He took a breath, "Not the women from other villages, remember?" he asked, alluding to the boss's mistress from the last mission and others like her. But I couldn't pay attention to that after he lifted his head from my chest, which was surprisingly lighter than I thought. He always seemed bigger than me; I thought he'd be heavier.
He directed his attention back to my shirt, this time easing my left sleeve over my shoulder. I obediently lifted my arm a bit, but he seemed to enjoy undressing me anyways.
That thought alone made me need to say something.
"So 'men in love' aren't 'twice as attractive'?" I piped up as he slid down the left sleeve.
"I wouldn't know." He said vaguely as he leaned over to my right, his chest hovering over me. "I think it has something to do with women and their hormones." He said bluntly.
I nearly scoffed at how basic that sounded.
But in that moment of clarity I saw an opportunity I hadn't before. Just as he was about to slide off my other sleeve I interrupted him.
I leaned up to him.
He seemed a little surprised by feeling my lips against the side of his neck at first, but he seemed to fall into enjoying it a moment later when I let my lips part only slightly and tensed them back together. It used to seem like a strange thing to do, but I could tell it was one of his favorite things when I kissed him like this.
Following the example he's not only given me now, but from several occasions I moved a little before kissing him again, and again. I moved along his shoulder and then back to his neck, kissing lower and lower.
I got to the point where I couldn't continue any further like this. As if knowing that unless he moved it was going to stop he fell away from me and back onto the mattress. I followed after him, taking a moment to shake off the right sleeve of my shirt, a little proud of myself that I didn't try to put it back on. I leaned over him like he had been doing to me earlier. Somehow it felt like I was just copying, but… actually, everything I've learned about this was from him, the best I could do was copy… besides, I think he knew that when he first taught me this. That sounded like something out of The Tale of Genji, as if I was the Murasaki to his Genji, but I didn't really care.
Especially not right now.
I planted another kiss along the middle of his chest, above his breastbone. I had to be careful not to hurt him now that he was injured, so I leaned back up and kissed his lips this time.
He seemed to understand that doing anymore might actually hinder his recovery. So instead I focused on his shoulders, and then down to his arms. I reached the coiled tattoo on his arm and let my finger follow the ink like I usually did.
He kept his eyes on me as I brought his hands to my lips, much like he had to mine before. He had a lot more scrapes and cuts on his. He hadn't had his gloved on for the fight last night. I ran my fingertips along mean-looking bruise on the back of his right hand before rising it to my lips. I kissed his palm, his wrist...
There was something about this… I didn't know what…
It felt so… nice.
To be able to see and feel and kiss all these details about him. Even when he's beaten and bruised like this.
His hands finally moved on their own and brushed passed the sides of my face, into my hair for a moment.
"I may not be 'twice as attractive'… but, I know I must act differently, otherwise Naruto wouldn't be catching on…."
I felt like falling over.
I had completely forgotten we had even been talking… about this no less!
Here I thought Kakashi would have been the one to forget and move on and I was guilty of my own accusation.
I tried to act like I had remembered anyways and jumped back into the conversation.
"So, what does he know?" I asked a little hurriedly, my hands finding his, my fingers running along his, too.
He looked away from me for a moment.
"Naruto might not believe in what he sees because he doesn't want to see it, but I can tell he's picking up on the way I act around you."
The way he acts?
Wait… if Naruto can tell something's weird with the way Kakashi's acting, he could figure me out in no time… or if he talks to Sai about this...
My heart dropped.
"This is bad." I said aloud.
"Really? I thought it was a little lucky." The man who was under me right now didn't seem as worried as I did. I felt like hitting him again or something.
"What?" I thought aloud after some hesitation. "If they talk to each other about this and compare notes, they could figure out-" My volume kept rising until he stopped me by placing a few fingertips over my lips.
"The truth." He finished my sentence seriously.
He let his hand drop.
I calmed down a little.
I felt like a kid.
"Yeah." I agreed uncouthly.
Glaring down at him a little for being so level-headed about a situation that I still felt needed more panic.
But my glaring was cut short when I felt him pull me down to him completely.
And like that, we'd gone full circle and my head was resting on his chest again. But we hadn't discussed what he was about to say before.
Not like this.
"Sakura…" He started. I suddenly felt like he was treating this more seriously than I thought he was… but he didn't seemed worried, more like… calm. I listened intently to his voice as it echoed through him. "We have to start thinking about this clearly now." He sounded older again. Responsible. "We've managed to hide this for this long, but… someday, people are going to find out."
I could just feel my carefree happiness from before start to deflate again.
Every time we talked about this all I could think about is what my family would say, what Tsunade would say, what the village would say.
"I know." I said as seriously as he had been talking, a solemn note in my tone.
There was a long moment of quiet before he spoke up again.
"Maybe it would be better if we didn't wait to be found out?"
…
I thought I misheard him or something at first.
But I didn't think I did…
…
"Are you saying we should tell everyone?" I asked, suddenly feeling more nervous than anything else had made me feel tonight.
"Would you be too scared?" He asked carefully.
…
"… no." I lied horribly.
"Ashamed?" He offered, knowing something was wrong with me.
But that was the last thing I was worried about.
That was the one plus I could possibly think about telling everyone, knowing that everyone would know that Kakashi was with me.
"No. Of course not." I said a little willfully, semi-scolding him for thinking so badly of himself, "I thought you'd be too ashamed." I offered the contrast sincerely.
He paused for a moment, as if he had to think through that.
"If there's anything I'm proud of…." He trailed off quietly… he knew he didn't have to finish that sentence. I understood what he meant, I just didn't understand the logic.
"That's… not very much to be proud of." I poked at his compliment. "I mean, I'm just…" I lost the rest of that sentence, in thought. I needed a better point that what I am. There are more things I'm not. "If I was your age, then maybe I could believe that." I gave myself some credit so that he wouldn't think I wasn't just bashing myself.
He interrupted my train of thought.
"If you were my age, we'd be exactly where we are now, except we wouldn't be hiding it." He seemed so sure of that.
Looking back, I hadn't asked him what he would've thought of me if I were his age… I guess that was his answer.
I wondered if it would've been true... if I was his age... would he have really noticed my above the other women?
I tried not to get distracted by that, though.
"No, we wouldn't." I corrected him. "You would've found someone prettier and stronger an-"
"You might think you're being modest, but now you're just being an idiot." He interrupted my self-bashing with an insult.
Idiot?
I may not be the prettiest or the most talented, but I know I'm not an idiot!
"Hey! I was the smartest of my class!" I argued a little loudly, using an outdated statistic that I was still always proud of.
He didn't seem to care.
He turned onto his side so he could look me in the face for his counter argument. "So was I, Sakura... But I'm a certified genius on the edge of thirty, so listen."
I would've been forced into silence by that 'genius' argument if I hadn't noticed that fact he mentioned how close he was to thirty, "Now who's calling you old?" I pointed out childishly, almost smiling already.
"Listen:" He repeated with a short tone.
I was about ready to take whatever he was going to say and turn it against him, but when I felt his hand slide over my waist and onto my back, pulling me closer I lost my train of thought… again.
His hand moved over my back, up and down, his fingertips grazing down the middle. I got the chills like I always did. He lips on mine moved faster than before, as fast as they had when he had just woken up. But this was different, he seemed so determined. His hand on my back paused over the back hook of my bra as if he was thinking about doing something, but before I could think of what I should do I felt his tongue enter the kiss without much of my permission. My stomach started to bubble strangely like it always did when he got like this. His hand passed under the back of my bra, sliding back and forth the width of my back under it, as if testing how far he could feel. He was starting to get a bit more serious, wasn't he?
His thumb grazed the side of my breast and I would have jumped a little if I wasn't distracted by the way his tongue rubbed against mine at the exact same moment. I could feel a kind of heaviness in my chest, either because of the lack of real oxygen or because of everything that was happening, I didn't know, but I knew it grew heavier and lighter at the same time when I felt his knee slide between mine and only inch upward further. At that I forced myself to break away, gasping because of surprise or air, I wasn't really sure.
I just knew that he had been toying with me, just then… like he was always so good at.
I took a moment to catch my breath, but before my heart rate was down I heard him speak up, everything about him completely calm.
"Got it?"
…
Annoying…
…
"You didn't say anything." I argued, still breathing a little harder.
I felt his hand bump under my chin gently, making me look at him. He was giving me that look. That serious look that almost reminded me of the same look he'd give me as a teacher whenever I got myself into trouble or didn't pay attention to him. Back in those days he'd prove his point with words... his lecturing methods seem a little different now.
His eyes turned a little gentle again.
"I said enough."
…
Annoying!
…
"You're annoying." I left my thoughts un-sugarcoated.
He smiled down at me.
"I know." He planted a little kiss on my lips. "That's why you 'like' me."
… I swear, if this man and the way he just said that didn't make my heart and body feel like it was melting, I would have hit him or something.
I took a moment to calm down.
"It's not my favorite reason." I said as coolly as possible. Which was easier than I thought it would have been because the time it took me to say that he had pulled the warm covers over both of us and had let his arm rest over my waist. And the way he rubbed my back up and down the center was always calming.
Again, he had somehow figured out how to calm me down and hypnotize me like that.
I really had to find a way to do that to him.
"What is?" He asked quietly.
It took me a moment to think back to what I had said that made him say that.
My favorite reason for 'liking' him?...
There has never been a more complicated question in my life.
"… I don't know." I started unimpressively. Still trying to get my thoughts together even though he was so distracting. I finally found answer that seemed the most appropriate.
"Everything?"
…
That sounded so stupid now.
…
"That doesn't make any sense." I warned him as I started racking my brain for another answer I knew wouldn't make as much sense to me.
He stopped me.
"I know what you mean."
…
Somehow even though I wasn't the one who asked him what he favored about me the most, I was even happy with the answer he shared with me.
Although, I felt like I could've explained myself better, I think it needed to wait for another time.
In the morning.
When I wasn't so… tired.
After how hard my heart was beating, and how quickly it slowed, of course I'd feel exhausted…
…
And I had been up since four o'clock yesterday morning… and it was probably already five now.
I'm surprised I hadn't passed out yet.
…
"Sakura…" His voice interrupted my sleepy thoughts of sleep. The tone of his voice sounded serious again, but hurried, like he knew I wasn't going to be awake much longer. "We should tell people what's going on between us."
I grimaced at the guilt that thought gave me again.
"Why?" I asked simply, not really looking for an answer.
"Because I can't see myself lying to everyone for the rest of my life." He sounded so serious.
"The rest of your life?" I repeated. Something about that phrase made me feel happy… really happy… but I was starting to forget why.
"We should tell them soon." He added again.
I was pretty much gone now.
"In the morning." I promised, as if it was a chore I promised to do yesterday and was now getting pestered for it now on the brink of sleep.
I felt and heard him laughed a little.
"This morning?" He asked.
"Yeah, after we wake up." I added, groggily. "I promise." I tried sweetening the deal so I could sleep soon.
"Making promises in your sleep… That's a little irresponsible for the smartest girl in her year."
I smiled weakly.
"I trust you." I managed… not quite sure why I said it… it just seemed like I had to tell him that.
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Just in case
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But 'just in case' of what?
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I didn't know.
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Everything went dark, but I was warm, he was warm, his arm was nice and heavy… the scent of rain-washed forests was all I could notice after a while.
But I still heard his voice one last time.
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"Thank you."
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She woke up from that dream, feeling like she was waking up from reality and was now living a dream.
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He woke up feeling like he had forgotten something important, which didn't surprise him, but it hurt more than usual.
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They both lay there in their beds for a moment.
She buried her face in her pillow, trying to keep the tears from coming.
He stared at the ceiling, racking his brain for answers to explain his feelings.
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She felt as if her mind was plaguing her with what she was missing.
He felt as if his mind was trying to confuse him with what he couldn't want.
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But for one moment both of them somehow knew they weren't feeling these things alone.
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With an ending like that, I believe it's safe to say that this is now longer an AU chapter.
...
This dream took place the night Kakashi gained some of his memories back and the night Iruka visited Sakura… the night between the last chapter and the one before it.
So, is this a supernatural turn brought on by the Gan'u myth?
Or was this 'mutual dreaming'?
Everything will be explained in time.