I've been busy so this took longer then I intended. Anyways, after everything that came out in the last few chapters, I got back to the basics of ShinjiXAsuka, though its not very...endearing.
Asuka didn't know what to think anymore.
Back in Misato's apartment, she lay on her bed with one arm draped over her forehead. The moment they had gotten home, Misato had immediately drunken five cans of beers, and promptly passed out on the kitchen floor. Asuka didn't even want to think what the kitchen would smell like in the morning when she woke up, that is, if she would ever fall asleep.
It was currently half past midnight, and with no sign of sleep coming to her any time soon, Asuka sat up on the edge of the bed, and grabbed a small case on her bedside table. Opening it slowly, she looked at the two earrings set inside the soft velvet. She wasn't sure why, but she was afraid that they would disappear one day if she didn't constantly look at them. Maybe that was a desire to know where she had gotten them from though. Closing the lid, she let out a soft sigh through half closed lips, set the case back on the table, and flopped back down on her futon. Rolling over onto her stomach, she punched her pillow in anger.
She kept thinking about everything Misato had told her in the elevator, which really hadn't been much. Misato had told her what she had heard on the phone, about the commander having an AT-field and Shinji's father not being the commander, but in actuality Adam. Then Misato had said something along the lines of-
"Asuka, when we get out of the elevator, I want you to stick close to me and don't talk to anybody, even you recognize them."
Asuka had asked, "Why?" but Misato only said.
"Its better if we get back to my apartment for the time being."
Asuka had looked at Misato's face then, and saw something she never expected to see before.
Fear.
Misato was fearful about what would happen if it was found out that she knew about these things. Asuka knew that now after thinking about it for some hours. So now she was in the same boat, having to worry about being called in for questioning. Asuka honestly thought that Misato was overreacting a great deal. Sure, she was rather startled when she heard everything, but she didn't think that they would be sent to prison or something just for knowing those things.
And yet, she couldn't fall asleep.
'I'm not worried in the slightest, so why the hell can't I fall asleep?' she wondered.
'You're not worried about yourself,' whispered a small voice in her head, 'but thats not to say you aren't worried about somebody.'
'Thats stupid,' replied at once Asuka, 'why the hell would I be worried about that idiot?'
'...I never said anything about him.'
Even though it was technically herself that she was talking to, her face still managed to turn a faint shade of pink.
'Ridiculous...thats-'
'Precisely true,' said the voice.
Asuka immediately sat bolt upright, banishing the annoying voice in the process. Shaking her head, her hair whipped around her face, making it more messy then it already was.
"Damn it," she groaned as she stood up and walked towards her door. "I need some air."
Sliding the door open, she glanced towards the kitchen. The only thing she could see of Misato was her feet; the rest of her body was concealed by the kitchen counters.
Failing to conceal the looked of disgust that passed over her face at Misato demeanor, she turned away from this sight and walked towards the front door. Unfortunately, this apartment didn't have a balcony or veranda of any sorts, so if somebody wanted air, they had to go out the front door and stand on the cement walkway in front of the apartment. At least it had a metal railing that you could lean against though.
Misato's apartment was five levels above the ground floor, so when Asuka went outside and leaned over the railing, it was a good five stories down to the bottom.
Throwing her arms over the railing, she pressed her full weight against it, putting her faith in it that it wouldn't break, and breathed in a lungful of air. Letting it out in one deep breath, she looked up at the night sky.
'Don't know what I expected,' she thought as she looked up at the black sky. The stars of course were impossible to see because of the bright lights of Tokyo-3.
Turning around now, she pressed her back against the railing, placing both arms on either sides of the railing and titled her head upward. If she leaned back too far, she would fall head over heels and go crashing to the bottom, but that wasn't something she was really thinking.
"How in the hell can I be worried about that idiot right now?" she asked audibly. "He's most likely in some cell right now anyway like Misato said, so its not like I can even do anything about it. But even so-AHHHHH," she yelled in frustration.
'Stop thinking about him...right think of something else...umm...breakfast tomorrow. Right! I'm going to have Misato take me out some place tomorrow for penance.'
But thinking about food only made her remember the fried rice that he had made, and if anything, this only brought her thoughts back to him stronger then before.
'I can still remember the taste,' she thought miserably, 'and why does my hear beat like crazy every time I think of him?'
"Arghhhh!" she yelled up towards the sky. "This is so annoying, I just want to see him so I can punch his stupid face in and then forget about him. Idiot!"
As though this settled the matter, Asuka pushed off against the metal railing and stepped towards the front door of the apartment. Turning around one final time to look up at the sky, she thought she glimpsed the North Star, brightest of all stars in the night sky. Smiling slightly, she thought, 'In a way, its just like me...all alone with nobody around.'
But that wasn't true, because even if they couldn't be seen, billions of star littered the sky. Asuka however at this time truly felt the loneliness of her life, because it was true that she had nobody around her. Even Misato would eventually fade out of her life as time passed.
"I don't need anyone," she whispered. "I fight only for myself, and live only for myself. I don't need anyone..."
But wasn't she just lying to herself, just as everybody else was lying to her?
Ignoring this question, she walked towards the front door and silently opened it. Even though it was unlikely, she didn't want to risk waking Misato up. She was sure to berate her about leaving the apartment so late at night.
Walking into her own bedroom, she closed the door deafly behind herself, and threw herself down onto her futon. Rolling over onto her back, she pressed the back of her right hand against her forehead and let out a low sigh. Opening eyes that had been closed the minute she hit her futon, she didn't like the coldness that seeped through the loose tank top she was wearing and penetrated her skin. Her bed felt alien to her, like somebody else completely foreign to her slept in it each day.
'Maybe thats why I'm having difficulty sleeping, because I don't know myself anymore,' she thought.
Rolling over onto her side, she grabbed the small object on her bedside table, and clasping it in both hands, she held it against her chest.
Like this, she eventually fell into a troubled sleep, where everything was black, but she kept running through the blackness as though she was searching for something.
When Shinji woke up early that morning, it took him a while to realize he was even awake, as the darkness inside his cell was little different with his eyes open than closed.
Rolling over onto his side, he accidentally brushed against the cuffs that he had broken last night with his AT-field. At the feel of the cold metal against his skin, the memory of yesterdays events came rushing back to him.
Shinji wasn't honestly sure how he felt about o the whole thing. Yes he was still stunned and shocked by everything that had happened, but it was more like, he just didn't care who he really was anymore. So what if the person he thought was his father all his life turned out to be an impostor, an impostor moreover after nothing more than his DNA. So what if it turned out that he was the byproduct of a human and a being equivalent to a god. So what if he was all alone now. It didn't faze him; he would continue to push forward.
Standing up, he walked to the small crack in the walls were the door was and the only light the penetrated the darkness of his cell. Using his fully awakened angel powers, he could still feel the guards that were stationed next to his cell. If he had to describe their AT-fields, it would be something like a beating heart. But it went further than that.
Maybe it had something to do with his visions, which he somewhat understood better because of what Kaoru had said. He could see what they would do before they did it. The nerve pulses that were sent to the brain that made them live out their daily lives. But he could change all that if he pleased. It seemed that he had grown not only to shape the people that he knew's futures, but now also those that he didn't knew. If he chose to do one thing right then and there, like breaking down the cell door, their lives would be forfeit. They would not die by his hand, but by someone else's hand, by letting him escape. But they weren't the only ones that would be affected, and Shinji knew this, so thats why he decided to do nothing. Even as he thought of saying something through the thick metal doors that he was incased in, he saw the change of the guards life as though it was a pop-out picture book that folded out before him.
It would be better if he didn't interact with another human being for the remainder of his life.
Even as he thought this, he felt another AT-field nearing him, and a few seconds later, heard the hinges of his cell door creaking as it was opened.
Light pierced Shinji's eyes as the door opened, and for a moment, Shinji felt as though the sun had descended from the skies and blinded him. However, as his eyes became used to the light, he recognized the silhouette of Fuyutsuki standing in front of him. This only angered him, as it reminded him of that bastard.
Fuyutsuki stood in the opened doorway for a minute, looking at the boy in front of him. He had known about Shinji's true nature for as long as Gendo had, and had been at the hospital as Yui gave birth to Shinji. Though he held no blame in the matter, he still felt remorseful for keeping it from Shinji for so long. The boy in many ways reminded him of Yui.
"I am glad to see that you didn't try anything rash Shinji," said Fuyutsuki in an attempt to start conversation.
Shinji remained completely silent, staring back at him with those blood red eyes, the dark brown forever gone out of them.
"I'm sure that you are hungry by now...and thirsty. If you'll follow me, we can take care of some of the more essential things."
"And then what?" asked Shinji with as little emotion as was humanly possible.
Fuyutsuki seemed puzzled at his question, asking, "What do you mean?"
"I'm not being kept alive because I'm useful anymore am I? That bastard already has Adams DNA...my DNA, so why don't you just kill me."
Fuyutsuki was taken aback at the unwavering of his voice.
"Do you desire death Shinji?"
"No, but I do desire an end to everything, and if death can grant that to me, than I will accept it."
Fuyutsuki stared at him, but no matter how he tried to pick apart the expression on Shinji's face, he couldn't know if what he was saying was true. Shinji had become so different that Fuyutsuki would never have guessed that he had known the boy since birth. But somehow he had still managed to maintain his human mind, which by itself was astounding.
Sighing slightly, Fuyutsuki said, "As to your question, killing you would be nothing short of murder. As for whether you serve a purpose or not to Nerv, Seele will likely interfere with us very soon."
Shinji sneered, knowing that it was not really Nerv, but that bastard who decided whether he was usable or not. Seele however...
"What does Seele plan on doing?"
"Initiating Third Impact with the Eva series implanted with the S2 engines."
"Is that all?" asked Shinji as he raised an eyebrow.
Fuyutsuki frowned slightly but said, "It is speculated that they will try to capture you and forcefully use the DNA you were born with to help initiate Third Impact. Most likely, they will go after the other Eva pilots also, as the Evangelions can only hinder their plans now."
"Do they know about me?"
"Yes. Gendo was able to keep them in the dark for a while, erasing all of the original copies of your birth records and replacing himself as the father in the forged documents. But they were able to track down the doctors who supervised the birth, and unfortunately there were a lot of them."
Shinji wanted to ask what kind of pain his mother went through to give birth to him, and whether Fuyutsuki knew about how Adam had even come to impregnate his mother. But the thought put him off slightly, knowing that he wouldn't like the answer, and besides, now wasn't the time.
"The other Eva pilots? Asuka and Rei, what are you going to do with them?"
"Unit 00 is destroyed, and Unit 02 is badly damaged, but emergency repairs have started on it since last night. Rei will be kept in a secure location incase the Geofront and Nerv is infiltrated. With luck though, Unit 02 will be repaired enough to help defend the Geofront."
Shinji felt a small surge of anger deep within a closed off section of his mind as he retorted, "So you're going to use Asuka as a toy again, using her when you need her and then throwing her away."
Fuyutsuki was ashamed of Shinji's statement and it clearly showed on his face. But it was something the commander had ordered.
"She is an invaluable pilot to Nerv, and would help much with the defense of the Geofront. If Unit 02 is not restored however, she will be kept at a secure bunker deep under Central Dogma with Rei."
Shinji couldn't help but laugh inwardly. Asuka would relish the idea of being closed in a room with Ayanami.
"What of myself then?"
Fuyutsuki shrugged as he said, "That depends on your on decision."
Shinji paused for a moment, mulling over everything Fuyutsuki had told him in his mind. He knew Seele was still a problem, and that sooner or later, everyone inside Nerv would have to make a stand against them. They wanted to be the gods of a newly created world, created by them, and ruled by them. The freedom of choice would be gone, something that Kaoru had admired about humans. But still...that bastard was another problem...and Lilith...
"Any idea on when they may take action?" asked Shinji suddenly.
"I don't know," replied Fuyutsuki, "but the defense budget has slowly been cut, and the news of their agent dying should have reached them by now. We expect two days, maybe three at most."
"What can we do in that amount of time?" mumbled Shinji.
"Not much admittedly. With the angels now defeated, the Japanese government see's no reason they should continue backing us, but most likely its simply Seele interfering with the decisions of the higher ups in the government. Dogma has sufficient means of defending itself incase of attack, but the defense will not likely keep other humans out for long. Ironic that even though the angels are defeated, man once again becomes its own enemy."
Shinji snorted at that, knowing how true it was.
"And so, what do you plan on doing?"
"Its not like I really have a choice," said Shinji.
"You could leave Nerv if you really desired it. The angels are defeated, and you have no reason to fight other humans, nor do you wish it. You are not bound here anymore."
"But I am bound by the people here," said Shinji.
As to that, Fuyutsuki didn't have any reply to throw at Shinji.
Staring at his feet for a moment, Shinji shook his head briefly as though seeing the outcome of something in the future. Sighing slightly, he raised his head as he said, "I'm not promising anything, not to you, not to that bastard, but I do owe it to the personal that work here."
Even as he accepted this, he saw a brief vision of the destruction of Nerv, and the death of many people. He saw Misato dead, Ritsuko dead, Kaji dead, and so on and so forth. Everybody he had known, everybody he had shared a bond with in some way or another, he saw possible deaths of them. And Asuka...
Shaking off this last vision, he looked up to see Fuyutsuki frowning at him. His obvious lapse in silence seemed to not have gone unnoticed.
"Are you okay Shinji?" he asked.
"Fine," replied Shinji knowing that a dark shadow most have passed over his face briefly as he saw everything.
"Now if you don't mind, I'll take up that offer from earlier."
Fuyutsuki couldn't help but smile.
"I'll have it all arranged, and there is somebody who wants to see you also."
Shinji narrowed his blood red eyes in response to this statement.
"Who would care to see me?"
"You should be able to figure that out," replied Fuyutsuki as he left Shinji's cell, motioning to the guards on either side of the wall to relax.
Shinji followed Fuyutsuki at a few paces behind him, thinking about what he had said. He guessed who the person was, but that didn't mean he had to like it.
Maybe persons would have been a better phrase.
Shinji couldn't help but glare at the two people seated at the table in front of him.
They weren't in the cafeteria of Nerv, since his presence there would make most people nervous. No, they were in a separate room used mainly for conferences. In the middle of the room was an oval table with six chairs placed around it. Currently only two of the chairs were occupied, but Shinji was damn well determined to not make it three, even with the generous amount of food laid on the table.
'Isn't this a bit desperate?' he thought as he looked at the food. He guessed they were going to try and keep him here by starving him next. Honestly, he had rather hoped that when his angel half took over, the need to eat would no longer be necessary, but that didn't seem to be the case.
Standing with his hands at this sides, he addressed the two seated at the table.
"Exactly why are you two here?"
"I thought you would have been glad to see us Shinji," replied the woman with purple hair.
"If thats what you thought, you're sorely mistaken," replied Shinji gruffly.
"Shinji-" tried Misato.
But the girl next to her cut her off.
"Ah just leave the idiot alone Misato," said the girl with fiery hair acidly, "he obviously doesn't care whether we're here or not."
"You're right, I don't," said Shinji exasperatingly as he rounded on Asuka.
Asuka glared at him hatefully, staring back into his sunken eyes. After a few moments though, she had to turn her head away.
"God damn it, why the hell did I agree to come along," groaned Asuka as she crossed her legs in irritation.
Misato held her tongue, though all the while thinking, 'Weren't you just wanting to see him yesterday?'
Looking back at Shinji, she said, "How do you feel? Are you hurt or-"
"I'm perfectly fine," said Shinji with clenched teeth.
"You're lying. Nobody would be the same after what you've been through."
"And what exactly have I been through!" retorted Shinji.
Misato simply stared back at him before she said quietly, "I heard about everything...Adam...and the commander."
Shinji's eyes widened as Misato uttered this simple sentence. Shinij had never guessed that Misato would have learned about that.
"Where...did you hear that?" asked Shinji after a few seconds pause. All the fight and arrogance seemed to have evaporated out of him.
"From the guard that carried your unconscious body away. He told me only what he heard, but I understood enough to piece it together."
"So then you know...about me and Adam then," whispered Shinji.
Misato was silent, and really, words weren't needed anymore. Asuka meanwhile had uncrossed her legs and rested one arm on the table, placing her chin in the palm of her hand. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched Shinji slowly seem to dissolve on the spot.
'God damn it! This idiot infuriates me,' she thought spitefully.
After a few seconds of waiting for Shinji to do something, Misato finally raised her chin and asked, "Shin-"
But Shinji took a few hasty steps forward and threw himself down on one of the plastic chairs placed around the table and grabbed every plate within reach of his arms and started devouring the food. He didn't realize how hungry his was until just then. Across the table from him, Misato let out a sigh of relief, while Asuka had to hold back the snide comment she longed to throw at his face.
Pausing for a minute from gorging himself, Shinji swallowed loudly and asked Misato, "I don't think its smart if you shout about it though, you weren't meant to know about this."
"I know," said Misato as she leaned back in her chair. "Yesterday, when I learned about it, I was afraid of what would happen if it was discovered that I knew. I left with Asuka hurriedly and didn't intend to come back for a week or so."
"That would never have worked," replied Shinji.
"No, I suppose it wouldn't. But I didn't want to take a chance nonetheless."
"So what did you plan to do with this information?" asked Shinji in between bites of scrambled eggs. Across the table from him, Asuka's stomach started rumbling. Breakfast wasn't very adequate that morning, but then again, it never really was.
"I don't really know," said Misato after she thought about it. "There was no way I could talk about it, and lets face it, nobody would believe me."
"So then why did you come back?"
"Seele," replied Misato simply.
Shinji paused as he was about to take a drink of orange juice, and lowered his glass.
"Fuyutsuki told me they would start moving soon, with there agent gone and everything."
"Yes, but they would have done something anyway. This just gives them an excuse."
"True," said Shinji as he drained his glass.
Misato watched him eat for a minute before she asked a question that had been nagging at her.
"How...different is it?"
"Different? What?" asked Shinji as he chewed his food.
"You're eyes for starters," said Misato as she pointed at Shinji's face. "And even your hair is a little lighter in color."
"It is?" asked Shinji as he looked around as though expecting to find a mirror. Knowing a mirror was anywhere close to him though, he sighed and said, "I'm still myself, that will never change. But I-" Shinji looked from Misato and then to Asuka who was staring at the food in front of Shinji.
"I can feel your AT-fields," finished Shinji.
"You can?" asked Misato while blinking her eyes.
Shinji nodded and said, "I could feel them before, just not as strongly. While every human has an AT-field, they're not as distinct as the angels were. If I had to describe it, it feels like a beating heart."
"But you feel no different?"
"No I do, but I'm able to control it."
Misato understood then that Shinji wished to end the conversation. It wasn't something that he was keen on talking about. Turning to her right, she almost laughed as she could have sworn she saw a small dribble of drool sliding out of the corner of Asuka's mouth.
"Asuka, if you're hungry, you can eat you know."
"Huh? What? No, I'm not hungry..."
"Then how come you're staring at the food?" asked Misato.
"Not hungry!" shouted Asuka as her stomach made a sound similar to that of a lion roaring.
Misato did laugh this time as Asuka's stomach gave a loud grumble; even Shinji was smiling slightly.
Feeling slightly embarrassed at her involuntary actions, Asuka felt her cheeks heat of slightly. Looking over at Shinji, she mistook his smile for a smirk and yelled, "Damn it...fine!"
Leaning over the table, she grabbed the plate directly in front of Shinji, and lifted it over to her side.
'See, you were hungry,' thought Misato silently as Asuka grabbed a knife and fork to the right of her.
Feeling content, Shinji placed both arms on the table and rested his chin in them.
"How long are you staying here for?" he asked Misato.
"I don't know. If possible, I would like to see Ritsuko...unless you're willing to tell me what I wanted to know now that the battles ov-"
"Not a chance," said Shinji quickly.
"So I figured," Misato said with a sigh. "I want to see the state of Unit 02 also though, so thats what we're going to do after-"
Beside her, the sound of a fork and knife clattering onto a plate could be heard.
Asuka turned to Misato and almost knocked Misato over with her shout.
"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY UNIT 02!"
'Oh shit,' thought Misato. She had forgotten to tell Asuka about the damages inflicted on Unit 02. Across the table, Shinji felt briefly ashamed, since it was his doing that had rendered the Eva Unit into a pile of scrap metal.
"Asuka hold on, calm down," said Misato in a desperate attempt to keep Asuka from breaking anything.
Asuka didn't bother listening though, and grabbed the nearest thing within her reach, which happen to be a glass, and flung it at Shinji's face.
"THIS IS YOUR FAULT SOMEHOW YOU BASTARD!"
Without blinking an eye, an eruption of orange appeared in front of Shinji shattering the glass as it neared his face. The broken pieces of glass turned to fine dust as they came into contact with Shinji's AT-field. His AT-field blocked the large pieces so that they wouldn't cut him, passing over both his shoulders. Shinji never broke his gaze as he continued staring at Asuka, his blood red eyes unblinking as they bored into her own ocean blue ones.
Eventually though, Asuka had to break the contact with Shinji, but it wasn't the normal feeling that she felt when she looked at him. It was-
She suddenly felt scared of him.
She had never felt scared of anything in her life, but this boy who was her own age gave off such a feeling that her legs felt like they might collapse under her.
Misato sat still, her eyes shifting back and forth between the two teens, waiting for one of them to make a move. Even she was shocked by Shinji's reaction. It seemed second nature to him now to use his AT-field, like it was as normal as walking.
Shinji stood up then so suddenly that the plastic chair tipped backwards, falling over so that its legs pointed towards the ceiling. Looking over at Asuka, he could see that she was determinedly not looking at him. Her bottom teeth were biting down on her lower lip in frustration but also-
'Its better like this,' thought Shinji. 'If she fears me, then its only easier.'
Turning around, Shinji stuck his hands in his pockets and opened the door to leave. Pausing for a second though, he looked out of the corner of his eyes. Asuka had not moved yet, and with her fists clenched, she seemed to be trying to muster up the courage to say something...or even do something.
Shinji thought it was oddly funny to see Asuka in a situation where she was afraid. But he knew that if she acted on her thoughts, and tried to hit him, he wasn't sure what would happen. Likely something that he regret for the rest of his life.
Feeling himself calm down, he uttered a few words which he hoped would make things a little better.
"I'm truly sorry for what happened to Unit 02," said Shinji as he stood in the open doorway.
"Do you think you can just say sorry and everything will be better!" Asuka screamed after him.
Shinji shook his head for a second before he said, "Saying sorry is the first step towards forgiveness...but I don't really expect that from you."
"You're right! I won't ever forgive you!"
But Asuka may as well have screamed that out of the window of fifty story building, because Shinji had already disappeared through the doorway.
Asuka stared at the doorway for a while, before she slammed her right fist on the wooden table, upending a plate near her fist and spilling food onto the floor.
'God damn it,' she thought. 'I should have just hit him...'
"Its not too bad," said Misato as they stood in Unit 02's chamber.
Asuka threw her a dirty look before she turned her attention back to her Unit 02.
Both arms where missing, the head was smashed in, and according to the engineer, the chest cavity was filled with blood. How could this be considered as 'not too bad?'
Turning towards Misato, Asuka groaned, "Are you kidding? It could take weeks to return it to what it looked before."
Misato sighed inwardly, thinking that Asuka only cared about the appearance.
"And you heard what the engineer said," continued Asuka, "at most, they may able to repair an arm only."
"Well its better then what I had expected," said Misato.
Asuka was silent as she continued staring back at Unit 02.
"I am going to kill him," she mumbled.
Misato turned toward her and said very bluntly, "Don't get in his way."
"And why is that?" asked Asuka snappishly
Did Misato really need to spell it out for her?
"You should know, after seeing what he did early. And the expression on your face..." she finished, letting her voice die out.
"He just caught me off guard is all," replied Asuka stubbornly.
Continuing to stare back into the blank eyes of Unit 02 she couldn't help but feel like her pride had taken a sudden spiral downwards. Unit 02 was, and had been for the longest time, her life. It had been defeated though, and she felt like a piece of her heart had been broken. If she wasn't able to pilot Unit 02, then what reason did she have to exist?
"Asuka?" asked Misato, who had been worried about how Asuka would take this shocking sight, "You okay?"
"Fine," mumbled Asuka as she continued staring back at the dismembered Unit 02. "Perfectly fine."
Misato knew she was lying.
Shinji was mad at Misato for bringing Asuka along, but not nearly as mad as he was with himself.
After storming the halls of Nerv without any clear objective in mind, during which he scared several personal so bad that he thought they may need therapy, he eventually wandered outside Central Dogma and into the Geofront. Walking aimlessly to the man made lake, he threw himself down on the ground and spread his arms and legs outward. Looking across the lake, Shinji could descry the elevator that he had taken down into the Geofront when he met Kaoru. It felt like an eternity ago that that happened.
Raising his right hand into the air, he turned it over several times as though expecting it to look similar to that bastards hand with dead pieces of skin falling off it. Of course, no such thing happened.
'If its true that I possess the DNA of Adam, because he is my real father, then I suppose my body wouldn't degrade, and I've used my own AT-field way to many times as it is.'
That was something he wondered about. Were there negative effects happening to his body because of his AT-field? He had numerous tests done on both his body and while he was piloting Unit 01, but nothing had ever been wrong, that he knew at least. Now though, with his angel genes completely dominant instead of recessive, he wondered if anything had changed inside him?
Then there was the matter of his regeneration. He had heard that every cell in a humans body has a limited amount of times it can reproduce itself, or divide as it is better known as. So every time he got heavily injured and his damaged tissue repaired itself, it was logical to assume that his life expectancy was reduced every time his cells divided.
He even remembered what Ritsuko said about the possibility to pass on the gene, but that was the last thing he was thinking about right now.
No! Right now, and annoyingly enough, he couldn't get a certain red haired girl out of his fucking head.
He thought that it would have been easy enough forgetting about everything that they had been through, but the memories that he had of their time spent together was now just tormenting him. Before, he had cherished the memories, since that was really all he had with his feelings completely gone. Now though, and he suspected it had something to do with his angel self, every time he saw Asuka or even thought of her, he wanted to break everything in sight. The barrier that had kept his angel self at bay was gone, and all that remained were memories turned bitter. He even found himself wishing they could all be erased, so he could blissfuly go through the rest of his probably short life without them.
He had somewhat expected to see her today, and had even prepared himself mentally before walking into the conference room, but the simple sight of her made him wanted to generate his AT-field and slice the entire table in half.
He was angry at himself for lashing out in anger when she had thrown the glass at him. He had created his AT-field without a second thought, like someone else was controlling his body within those few seconds of time. But he also wished that what he had done would distance herself from him. He knew that Asuka was incredibly stubborn though, and would be determined to put Shinji in his rightful place, namely with him on the ground and her foot pressed down over his face.
Above all else though, he was afraid that the bitter memories that he now held would surface themselves physically, and he would strike her, who he had said before he would never hit, even if it meant he killed himself. He wasn't sure though anymore. His angel self fueled itself on anger and hatred, and unfortunately for him, he had plenty of that. The angels were created to protect the Tree of Life and kill off all humanity of if it came to that...but technically he wasn't an angel. Adam was a being similar to that of a god, he had only created the angels. But in a sense, he had created Shinji also...so then, maybe he was an angel?
'Damn it,' yelled Shinji inwardly, 'everything's just too confusing now. I don't even know whats right and whats not!'
Feeling anger suddenly surge through him and everything that had happened, not just in the past twenty-four hours, but over the course of his involvement with Nerv, he swung his right arm down bitterly in front of him.
His AT-field shot outward, parting the lake as Moses had parted the Red Sea. Water shot upwards to the left and right of Shinji's AT-field, revealing the metal surface underneath all the water. The gap was so wide, that four men could walk abreast with relative ease.
Shinji was relatively shocked, as he knew that his AT-field before was nowhere near powerful enough to create a miracle such as this. Now though, even miracles like this were possible.
All at once, the water that had been raised up to twenty feet alongside Shinji's AT-field crashed back downwards into the large gap that Shinji had created. The water filled back up quickly, creating large waves that crashed amongst one other. Eventually though, the water returned to its normal calm demeanor.
After the waves subsided, Shinji looked down at his right hand, surprised at how powerful his AT-field had become. If what he did was any indication, he probably wouldn't have much problem slicing a building cleanly in half. Not that he'd ever consider that of course.
'By all rights, this level of power shouldn't even exist,' he thought. At the same time though, he was not only rejecting the Evangelions, but himself also.
'Strangely enough though,' he thought, 'if I had never met Asuka, I wonder if any of this would have ever been possible? I'd still be the son of Adam, but would anything have ever come out of it if I had never met Asuka?' But when he thought about it more deeply, he realized that he had met Asuka through a chain of events. Leaving his old roommates place, moving in with Misato, hell, even moving to Tokyo-3 started everything in a sense.
'Its our choices that change our futures,' thought Shinji, 'that I understand well enough. But its not just our choices, but the people around us who's choices can also change our futures. I suppose I'm the most clear example of that.'
Everybody has the possibility to change anybody else, but Shinji is unique in that he can see the outcome of a choice. He can intervene and save somebody, or he can standby and watch them die, and so, he can shape peoples futures. And if he ever came into a position of power...
'Thats not something I should be thinking about,' he thought.
What he wondered though, is how his visions related to Adam. Kaoru told him that he had something similar, and he mentioned seeing his own death as something of the sort. Shinji however could not see himself by himself, only in the futures of the people around him, and the reality of that was starting to fade away. It was almost as though he simply didn't exist. Adam had something to do with his visions, as did the fact that he's also a human. He knew humans could shape their own futures, but it was because of Adam that he was somehow able to see the possibility, and or outcome of that future.
'When did I become an intellectual?' thought Shinji, laughing inwardly at himself.
Standing up, he ignored the sand that clung to his pants and looked back towards the giant pyramid in the middle of the Geofront that was Central Dogma.
"Seele will take action soon," said Shinji as he gazed at Central Dogma. It looked so strong from here, but he knew that it couldn't hold out long against a siege. It had never been built with the idea of other humans attacking it.
A storm was coming, but he didn't know what it would bring.
Asuka picked idly at the food in front of her.
She was in the one of the many cafeteria's of Nerv, though admittedly, she wasn't sure what she was doing there. She had eaten hardly two hours ago, but Misato said that she had something to do, and that it wouldn't take long. Asuka didn't know how long ago she had said that, but she knew that it was taking way longer than it was expected.
She felt useless, like a throwaway toy that once it outlived its usefulness, it was replaced by the new and improved version. In this case, she felt that he was her replacement.
She felt like her life held no meaning right now. Being an Eva pilot was the only thing that proved that she existed, that she had a purpose; it was the only thing that proved the first ten years of her life weren't wasted. Everything that had happened to her with her father and her college days in Germany rushed back to her as bitter memories filled her head. She had been able to find sanctuary in being an Eva pilot, but he had taken all that away from her.
She blamed it all on him. If he had never shown up,then she would still be the number one pilot. And earlier, what had happened when she had thrown the glass at his stupid face... She had never really thought of him as dangerous, even when she had heard that he had killed somebody before. But, when he had generated his AT-field to destroy the glass she threw at him without any hint of hesitation, she realized how different he really was. Was she really afraid of him? Asuka thought about this for a moment and didn't really know. He was just so...different compared to when she had first met him.
Dropping her fork onto the tray of food, she pushed it away with a disgusted look on her face. She wasn't even sure what she was doing here, after all, she had eaten earlier. But it was more like, the food from Nerv just tasted terrible now. She supposed that it was because of that stupid fried rice, though this thought only infuriated her even more.
Standing up suddenly, she knocked her elbow against the edge of the table and winced slightly as a sharp pain coursed through her for a brief instance. Looking out of the corner of her eye though, she caught a brief flash of something coming from the double doored entrance to the cafeteria. When she completely turned her head in that direction though, she didn't see anything or anyone.
Hesitating slightly, she made up her mind though in the next second, and forced her feet to move. Walking rather fast, with her hair swinging behind her and her hands clenched into fists, she stormed through the cafeteria. Heads turned as they thought they saw a red headed demon storm past them, as though the apocalypse had come.
Coming to a halt outside the cafeteria doors, she turned to her left and looked down the white hallway just to see someone walk around the corner at the far end of the hallway. Feeling a smile stretch across her face, she started walking at a brisk pace to the corner she had seen the person disappear around.
Peering around the corner, she caught the back of the persons head and couldn't help but smile.
'That bastard...' she thought.
Walking at an even pace, she evenly matched her foot falls with his and silently followed him.
Shinji of course, on the other hand, already knew that she was following, and he laughed silently at that thought. It was amazing how arrogant Asuka could be at times.
'How did I ever like someone as crude, abrasive, and unloving as her?' The mere thought of what he used to think of her made him want to puke. The question however was: 'how long do I play this stupid game?'
Shinji was amused by it. He knew that Asuka was behind him because he could feel her AT-field; the subsequent movements as she shifted from one foot to the other as she matched her pace with his. What he was curious though, was whether if he stopped, if she would do the same thing.
'May as well find out,' thought Shinji silently.
All at once, his footfalls came to a sudden stop and no more than twenty feet behind him, he knew that Asuka had come to a similar stop.
'I never knew she could be this childish,' thought Shinji. 'Now...should I continue walking...or not?'
He knew that Asuka wanted to say something to him, and he rather regret his actions from a few moments ago, but unfortunately, he couldn't help himself when he had seen her alone in the cafeteria, so he had paused for a moment and watched her. He understood that she was feeling lonely and without a purpose because of Unit 02 being so badly damaged, but she looked completely pathetic sitting there and playing with her food. Maybe a part of Shinji laughed at that, amused that she could be hurt over something so stupid. But it wasn't stupid to her.
'Of course not,' replied the most human part of his mind. 'Being an Eva pilot was everything to her. Everything until-'
"I showed up in her life," Shinji whispered quietly. At the same time, the human voice inside him disappeared and he thought he felt Asuka shift uncomfortably behind him.
"Why are you following me?" he finally asked, addressing the person behind him.
Shinji didn't need to turn around or have an AT-field to know that Asuka sneered at him.
"And who was the one that watched me while I was in the cafeteria?" said Asuka, trying to keep her voice at a normal volume...for now.
"I have no idea what you are talking about," lied Shinji as he turned to look over his shoulder. "Most likely you are imagining things."
Asuka flinched openly at that and unclenched and then re-clenched her fists as though she longed she punch his stupid face in.
"Ha, idiot!" laughed Asuka as she crossed her arms over her chest. "You are the one thats imagining things. The commander has an AT-field? You're the son of an angel? Don't give me that bullshit."
Asuka wasn't sure whether she believed it or not, but she really didn't care much either way. Shinji however seemed too, because he turned all the way around and faced her.
"So what you're saying is you don't believe me?" asked Shinji in a completely normal tone of voice.
"Essentially...yes."
"I see..." mumbled Shinji, as he slowly took his right hand out of his pocket and let it dangle limply at his side. Asuka meanwhile followed his hand with her eyes as he lowered it to his side.
"Even after earlier...you don't believe me? Even though Misato believes me? Even if what I told you before to not associated with me still applies...more than ever for that matter."
"So what! For starters we are both Eva pilots."
"I don't think that applies to you anymore," replied Shinji coldly.
Asuka clenched her teeth at that, but her eyes still trailed to his right hand.
"You're the one that appeared before me in the first place! You're the one that destroyed my Unit 02. You're the one that ruined everything! If it wasn't for you...I wouldn't be like this!" Asuka screamed at him.
Shinji looked back at her cooly and said, "Do I look like I care about your problems? In case you didn't realize, I have my own problems!"
Asuka took a step backwards from him then. Couldn't he understand what she was feeling right now?
"You don't...but you-"
"I what?" asked Shinji snappishly.
Asuka bit down on her lower lip. A far corner of her mind still thought that he had something to do with her forgotten memories, but because of his personality, she wasn't able to bring the subject up. She didn't even fully understand the feeling herself, but she felt even lower than when she had been sitting alone in the cafeteria.
Shinji however thought that he may have gone a step to far. What he had said wasn't necessarily true.
Turning away from her, he sighed and said, "I told you I was sorry about Unit 02..."
"But its not like you cared one way or another," retorted Asuka with an empty voice.
Again, this wasn't true, but there was no way Shinji was about to brooch the subject of Asuka's mother. That would lead to a number of awkward questions.
"I can understand the connection between an Eva and its pilot. I did not want to damage it at all, but truth be, Unit 02 was rather...overbearing. Stubborn you could say."
'Like yourself,' finished Shinji in his own mind.
Asuka was silent for a moment before she asked, "I thought that the angel...Kaoru was controlling my Unit 02? Why would it be so...difficult..."
"True," said Shinji while shrugging, "but Kaoru only had control over it a certain amount of time...afterwards Unit 02 started...acting on its own." Pausing for a minute, he turned back to her and looked her in the eye saying, "I think that Unit 02 was...protecting you in some way."
Asuka blinked several times back at him before she asked, "How could my Unit 02 be trying to protect me when I wasn't even in it?"
"No clue," replied Shinji. "Why don't you ask it that?" he finished sarcastically with a slight sneer. This brought Asuka quickly back to the fact that she wanted to punch his stupid face into jelly.
"Tch, idiot!" she replied feeling annoyed as she turned her head the other way. Though as she peeked out of one of her eyes she saw that he had already walked ten feet away from her.
"Ahhh...where are you going!" she yelled fervently.
"No clue, but where ever it is, I don't want you following me to it."
"As if I would moron!"
Shinji however didn't seem to have anything further to say to her, and continued walking down the hallway. Asuka however was determinedly trying not to watch him, and failing miserably. Eventually uncrossing her arms, she stared after him for a few moments before she took one small step forward as Shinji yelled behind him.
"I thought I told you not to me follow me!"
"I'm perfectly inclined to walk anywhere I damn well please!" replied Asuka hotly.
Shinji turned around and glared at her, hoping that his gaze could break the arrogance and stubbornness inside of her. Asuka glared back with about as much intensity. Reluctantly, Shinji was the first to break his glare.
"Fine, do whatever you want."
"Okay then, do you know anything about my lost memories?"
The words were out of Asuka's mouth before she even managed to wrap them around her tongue. Realizing what she just said, she quickly covered her mouth with her hand and repeated over and over in her mind, 'What the fuck did I just do?'
Even so though, she waited with bated breath for Shinji's reply.
Shinji meanwhile felt a very unpleasant chill travel up is spine at her words. He knew Asuka was sharp, but this...he never expected something like this. First and foremost: how could she remember anything in the first place, and second: could she remember anything specifically?
Feigning ignorance, he said, "I've no idea what you're talking abou-"
"Don't lie like Misato and the others," said Asuka, cutting him off. "I'm sick of being lied to..."
"I've really no idea what you're talking abou-"
Next second, an angry demon was in Shinji's face, and yelling at him. Asuka had taken several quick strides towards him and without thinking, started shouting at him.
"You have no idea what you're talking about! Really! Because every single fucking person besides me seems to know whats going on! What the fuck happened while I was hospitalized? Did the First grow a personality? Did my bastard of a father show up? Did Misato get wasted and end up in an orgy! I want to know why everyone is keeping something from me! And you! I want to know what you have to do with it all!"
"What the hell do I have to do with your fucked up mind!" shouted Shinji with equal volume back at her face.
Asuka, already reaching a breaking point emotionally, grabbed Shinji by the scruff of his shirt and threw him against the sheet-rocked wall, and continued yelling at him, bits of spittle flying out of her mouth and landing on his face.
"I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO WITH MY MEMORIES DAMN IT! BUT EVERYTHING ABOUT YOUR STUPID FUCKING FACE! AND THERE WAS THAT FRIED RICE YOU MADE...AND...AND THAT FUCKING CASE THAT I CAN'T EVEN GO TO SLEEP WITHOUT HOLDING!"
If there was ever a moment for Shinji to have an aneurism...it was then. How the hell could he have forgotten about something so memorable as that particular item? He should have thrown it away like everything that had been in his room. Thankfully though, the blankness of his brain didn't seem to show on his face.
Looking back at her passively for a minute, he said, "As much as I enjoy listening to the drabber of a fifteen year old, I really don't care about that stuff."
Asuka couldn't take anymore, and let get of his shirt, before swinging her right fist forward and striking him across the bridge of his noes.
Whether she intended to apply that much force, it certainly reached the desired effect. The bridge of Shinji's nose bent in an odd angle as Asuka's fist made contact with it. Blood spurted out of both his nostrils, while Asuka felt the sensation of bone breaking. Since Shinji was backed up against a wall, his head smashed backwards into the hard wall, though leaving a sizable dent where is head had hit it. A blood lump appeared just at the back of his head.
Momentarily stunned at what she had done, Asuka regained control of herself, and drew back to hit him again, when Shinji grabbed her fist as it swung forward.
"LET GO OF ME YOU BASTARD," Asuka shrieked at him.
Shinji simply stared back at her as blood dripped down his face, pausing at the corners of his lips before staining his white shirt.
"I SAID LET GO OF ME YOU BASTARD," Asuka repeated herself.
Shinji did just that.
But he also push her forward slightly so that Asuka fell backwards a few steps.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU-"
Shinji's right hand came slicing downwards through the air, tearing the wind apart and effectively cutting Asuka off mid sentence. His AT-field came mere centimeters from slicing off Asuka's right arm. His AT-field slice in the wall, destroying the sheet-rock and sending white ponder into the air. Thankfully enough, there was no office or other room on the other side of the room, but Shinji had purposefully controlled it so it didn't travel far. A large crack travelled up the wall where Shinji's AT-field had hit and along the ceiling before large chunks of the wall fell in the hallway where the were standing. Electric circuits fell from the ceiling where they had been placed and now hung into the hallway as though they were fines.
Shinji continued his silence, with his right arm halfway at his side. He simply continued staring at Asuka, waiting for her reaction.
Asuka's entire body seemed to have seized up. A cold sweat developed all over her body, instantly lowering her body temperature and sending a cold shiver down her spine. Her bottom lip trembled with fright while her eyes remained as wide as dinner place. The last bit of her words before he had used his AT-field seemed to have been caught in her throat, but she wasn't able to say them...not now, not ever. Lastly, her eyes trailed on a lock of bright red hair that seemed to be floating through the air as if a breeze had entered the hallway. Shinji had sliced off a lock of her hair as he had shoved her backwards.
"Now do you see what I mean," said Shinji in a low voice. Asuka looked back into his blood red eyes and saw cold contempt. She unconsciously took a step back.
Continuing, Shinji said, "I don't care about what you're problems, I don't care about your stupid memories, and I certainly don't care to listen to the sniveling sorrows of somebody unfit to even pilot Eva."
Shinji smiled slightly at his own words. He had hit the nail on the head in a sense.
Shinji's words froze the already frost bitten Asuka's heart.
"Furthermore, I could have instantly killed you, but I believed that scaring you would be a better solution. I don't like the sight of blood and probably you don't either. This is a proper trade. Don't associate with me anymore. I have my own things to worry about as it is."
As Shinji turned away from her, Asuka caught a glimpse of Shinji's face, and saw that his noes had snapped itself back into its rightful place. Her legs started to loose there strength. How could he have done such a thing?
As Shinji continued walking away, he turned one last time and said, "I never thought the high and mighty Asuka would ever look so pitiful."
Asuka's head jerked at his comment. The way he said her name so casually...she felt a cold rage building up inside of her. Willing her legs to stay upright for a little while longer, she shouted back at him while trying to keep the sob in her voice at a minimum and the tears from spilling forth from her eyes.
"I...hate you...bastard!" I thought because you were different...that you could maybe at least understand. But you're...not even a human anymore. So how could you ever understand... I hate you..."
Shinji paused for a second, forcing himself to not looked back at her. Every fiber in his body was screaming at him right now, but he would rather destroy his own mind then have to look at Asuka right now.
Whispering quietly, so that she wouldn't hear him, he said, "Good...because if we ever were to reach an understanding between each other...again...I believe that both of us will die. At least this way...you'll survive."
Shinji continued walking forward, as everything inside of him threaten to spill forth. He knew he had done more damage then he had meant to, but he didn't care anymore. It was better this way; better for her to hate him and curse him then to try to become closer. If he was perfectly honest with himself, he wanted nothing more to embrace her right now, even if it meant that he would be on his knees with severe pain in his groin, but the possibility of that had disappeared. He couldn't see himself in Asuka's future anymore.
'And it hurts,' he thought before he disappeared out of her sight.
Asuka's finally collapsed under her own weight as Shinji rounded the corner and sank to the ground. Placing her head over her knees she wept silently in the hallway. She had thought he knew something, even hoped on it, but the reality was that he didn't care about her one way or another. Even if he did know something, he would never tell it to her. Asuka wept not so much because she would never remember her past life, but because Shinji had ignored her cry out for help; him who should understand her the best.
She hated him, but she wished that she could have known him. Now though, it seemed like nothing more than a disappearing dream.
What she didn't understand thought was what he had said at the end. The majority of it she didn't catch, and she sorta thought he never wished her to here it; that was why he said it so quietly.
"Why did he say, 'at least this way you will survive?'"
Asuka had heard that last of Shinji's whispered words.
Continuing to stare at her keens while her tear stained face started to dry up, she pondered his mumbled words, but she couldn't figure out what it had meant.
"Stupid idiot," she mumbled, "Why the hell did you say something like that."
Looking towards the corner where he had disappeared around, she was tempted to follow after him, but something held her back. Was she honestly scared of him? Maybe scared yes, but she never thought that he would have actually killed her. He said he hated the sight of blood, so it was reasonable to assume that he would not have killed her.
"So then why did he do what he did? Why did he try to make me avoid him?" she wondered out loud.
But only one thing came to mind, and that was that he knew something about her memories.
"Stupid bastard," she swore.
Forcing herself to stand up, she wiped the remaining tears off her face with the back of her left hand.
"I don't care how long it takes," she said, "I swear I'll beat my memories out of you even if I have to break a two by four over your head."
Taking one last look down the hallway at the corner where he had disappeared around she sighed and said, "Stubborn as," before walking the opposite way.
Asuka didn't really realize, but she was being just as selfish and self-centered as Shinji was.
Twelve people sat around a large oaken table. Each of them was an old man in his late eighties.
The oldest of the twelve spoke first.
"The last angel Tabris has been defeated by the child of Adam. The appointed time is upon us."
"But what about Gendo and his plans?" said the man next to him.
"Let the fool think what he will," said a man on the opposite side of the table. "The Eva series is completed, and the JSDF only need to be bought."
"But what of the child of Adam? Surely he will not listen to us."
"He will not have a choice in the matter. His destiny was appointed at birth. The Spawn of Adam will pave the way for the future that we the chosen people of Seele have decreed. There will be no mistakes in the matter."
"What of Lilith then," one the men asked after a short pause.
The oldest of the them smiled slightly as he said, "Lilith will always do what is best for the humans, for us. She will not hinder are plans."
Some of the other men were rather skeptical at this, but didn't voice there opinion. The Dead Sea Scrolls held by the number one were an absolute.
"In three days time we assault the stronghold Tokyo-3 and destroy the Geofront."
"What of the surrounding civilians and personal of Nerv though?" as one of the men at the corner of the table.
Seeming to shrug slightly, the oldest of them said, "Leave none alive."