Merry Christmas everyone! Here's my present to all my great readers!
The clouds darkened high above the city of Tokyo-3, and around the world, similar things were happening; the entire world was being plunged into darkness. However Gendo Ikari did not seem to care about these things, even as he sat deep underground within the confines of Terminal Dogma.
Lilith had fooled him, and fooled everyone, but specifically him. He should have known himself incapable of being rejoined with Yui, for even if he was, what would he have done? And so, he laid himself to rest in Terminal Dogma, waiting for the last breathes of his life to leave him. It was even rather peaceful he thought as he lay there, for whatever happened afterwards, he knew he would never be apart of. Even if the world was recreated, and Third Impact achieved, his spirit would not reach it.
"I really screwed up...Yui..." he mumbled as he looked up at the black ceiling. But he would never hear Yui's voice again.
"I should rather say so commander," came a voice from behind him. Recognizing the voice almost instantly, he mumbled, "So you've come to see me die, have you Dr. Akagi?"
"The least you could do is call me Ritsuko," she mumbled as she stepped out of the darkness and into light, looking at down at the dying commander of Nerv. "And it seems that I'm too late...Lilith has all ready been reborn."
"It wouldn't have mattered, even with the assistance I gave her," said Gendo. "She would have found a way to Shinji."
As Ritsuko walked over to him, she fished a cigarette out of her pocket and lit it. Puffing on it briefly, she sighed and said, "You don't smoke, do you commander?"
"No, I never took it up."
"Then you should take this time to enjoy one."
Pulling another out of her pocket, her last one, she lit it before bending down and inserting it into the commanders mouth. Letting him inhale for a moment, she then removed it out of his mouth, and let him exhale deeply.
"Why are you doing this?" asked Gendo.
"Because there isn't anything we can do," said Ritsuko. "Everything is all up to Shinji now. What he decides, what he doesn't decide...everything will be as he wishes and desires. And Lilith will use that to her advantage. Shinji may very well be the creator of a new world, but Lilith will have a hand in it nonetheless."
"So you think you'll have a place in it?"
"I don't know," said Ritsuko. "But it won't matter whether I have a place or not, because I don't necessarily have to be there. As long as Shinji wishes it, he can create someone that looks like me, sounds like me, and has the same personality as me. But it still won't be me. So then what about you?"
Gendo was silent for a minute until he said, "My existence stops here, Shinji will be sure of that."
"Probably," said Ritsuko as she threw her cigarette to the ground and crushed it with her heel. "But Shinji can't deny that you took care of him when the likely thing would have been to put him in an orphanage."
"I took him in for my own agenda," said Gendo.
"Maybe, but deep down you cared for him, because of the piece of him that meant Yui once existed."
Gendo was silent, neither refuting her, nor agreeing with her.
"But it doesn't matter...does it?" said Ritsuko. "Everything will be judged by Shinji, and my existence may disappear as well, since I angered him more than once on certain occasions."
Gendo was still silent, as though reflecting on his past actions, until he finally said-
"Shinji holds the DNA of Adam within him, meaning that he is already a being surpassing the knowledge of humans and angels alike, because he is a hybrid. In essence, he is almost like the gods of old that used to be worshipped in ancient times."
"And you think he'll use his power to change the world? Will Lilith even allow him to change it to how he desires?"
"Lilith doesn't care what Shinji does, as long as she gets what she wants."
"And what is that?"
"...I don't even think Lilith knows..." mumbled Gendo, almost quietly to himself.
Ritsuko looked down at him, as she heard those mumbled words. Lilith and Adam, and Shinji and Asuka...
"If that boy cares enough about that girl, then Lilith shouldn't be able to fully control him. As for Adam, he is simply a spectator, though I believe he wants whatever Shinji wants."
"And what happens if she dies?" asked Ritsuko. "What happens to Shinji then?"
Gendo was silent for a long while, until he finally mumbled, "If that girl dies...he won't care about reality. Reality will be whatever he desires it to be."
Ritsuko stared down at Gendo, who was slowly starting to fade away, and would likely be dead before Third Impact was even over. If in a situation like that, where reality is whatever Shinji desires it to be...then what would it be like?
"It would be pleasant for him," said Gendo, as though he was reading her thoughts. "But he wouldn't care about anybody else. We would all be floating in the sea of LCL fluid, while he escapes into his false reality."
Ritsuko frowned and looked up at the ceiling of Terminal Dogma. If that were to come true, and reality would become dysfunctional...what would happen to the world as it stands?
"Only Lilith would know that question," said Gendo as his life continued to slip away.
Lilith watched as Unit 01 rose high into the air along with the Mass Produced Eva Units. The wings of light shown clearly against the blackened sky as Unit 01 continued rising into the air.
'So it comes to this?' thought Lilith.
Raising her arms up, she clove the sky in to, splitting the clouds and the heavens as she called for the Lance of Longinus, and deep with the confines of space, it answered her. Like the needle of a compass, it pointed directly towards her, being called back to earth where it once dwelt. It ripped apart the fabric of space as it plummeted towards earth, shaking the sky and creating a maelstrom of thunder and lightning.
As it charged down through the sky and into the ruins of Tokyo-3, Lilith caught it with her hand and held it next to her like a flag pole. Smiling slightly, she slowly rose above the destruction of Tokyo-3, the Lance of Longinus in her hand. Beneath, the bloodied mess of Unit 02 remained.
The Eva Units above her formed a circle around Unit 01, each of them holding a Lance of Longinus in its hand. Lilith continued rising into the air until she became level with Unit 01, herself inside the circle of Eva Units.
"Can you hear me Shinji?" asked Lilith. She had changed her features so that she looked like Asuka again, tormenting him only further. But no word came from Unit 01, only silence. Lilith didn't care though, and continued on as if she hadn't asked.
Motioning to the other Eva Units, she directed them to attack Unit 01. Four of the Eva Units rushed Unit 01, the Lances of Longinus clutched tightly in their hands. They pierced the lances into both of Unit 01's hands and feet. Blood poured forth from Unit 01, and inside the entry plug of Unit 01, the same was likely happening. But he still did not speak.
The other Eva Units pierced their lances into points around the wings of light that surrounded Unit 01, sealing Unit 01's AT-field.
Smiling at the Eva Units, Lilith hovered over to Unit 01 until she was directly in front of it. Taking the true Lance of Longinus in her grasp, she plunged it directly through the core of Unit 01.
Unit 01 shuddered violently then, and Shinji finally answered with a resounding scream. A large quantity of blood was pouring out directly where his heart was supposed to be...but he wasn't dying. Everything was slipping away though it felt. Everything was growing foggy...but he could still hear Lilith's voice.
"Third Impact...ahh how I've waited for this day. Everything shall be as it should have, and nothing will be as it has. All with the help of you Shinji."
The Eva Units that were hovering around suddenly jerked, as their heads suddenly split open, revealing the head of Lilith underneath. Their stomachs opened up to reveal their cores inside.
"Lets begin," said Lilith.
The bodies of the Eva Units suddenly exploded, from the core outwards, but instead of spilling blood, the white substance that Lilith seemed to be made of was floating in twelve different parts of the sky. Lilith opened her arms then, and accepted the Eva Units to her. Combining herself with the final angel, and the S2 engines, she generated her AT-field.
Shinji opened his eyes wearily, and as he looked out into the dark sky, he saw a horrible sight in front of him. The Lilith Asuka, with eyes that bled blood, was reaching for him. Shinji screamed, screamed until it felt like his chest would rip apart, but it didn't do him any good. The Lance of Longinus prevented not only himself, but Unit 01 from doing anything. He shouted at Unit 01 to move, for his mother to move, for the voice to move. But the only thing he heard back was his own voice as it bounced around the entry plug.
"Now then," smiled Lilith as she reached for Shinji. "Let us become one..."
Shinji screamed again, but felt darkness engulf him as Lilith took hold of him. But did he really care? After all, what did he have to live for anymore...if Asuka was.
'Thats it,' he heard a soothing voice all around him. 'Give into the hopelessness that is.'
Maybe it was right...whatever it was. It would be pleasant just to give up. To close his eyes and not care about anything, anyone. Nothing would matter...
'You want to forget everything. All the pain that everyone put you through. That you've put others through. So forget about them. Forget about everything.'
Shinji did just that.
Or so he thought.
But then...what was this? When last he remembered, everything had been dark...but this was unusually bright...and...warm? Like blood? No, a different warmth. Like a human's warmth...like that of a warmth shared between two humans.
So then where was he?
Shinji opened his eyes.
He looked around.
And then he remembered...
"Oh, right, Touji and Kensuke were over last night...and...ah I think I drank too much. Was Misato there?" He couldn't even quite remember. But that at least explained why he was so disoriented.
But then still...what was this warmth...and why was his vision so blurry?
What felt to be bed sheets, glided across his hand as he reached around in the brightness. He could distinguish shapes, but not very well. Had he gone blind? Since when had his eyes been this bad?
'Oh...wait!' he remembered.
Almost in a trance, he turned towards a table next to him, and grabbed his glasses where he had left them last night. He must have really been tired to momentarily forget about them.
Now that he was wearing his glasses, the room came into focus. It was odd though, it felt like this was first time seeing the room, but that was probably a hangover telling him that. Directly in front of him, a large window, with what looked like an oceanic view was clearly visible within his sight. To the left of the window, was a large white dresser that matched perfectly with the white wall behind it. Against a far corner of the room, was a mirror, large enough for Shinji to see his entire reflection in. Feeling slightly curious, he pushed himself off what he now knew to be a bed, and walked over to a mirror.
His twenty-two year old self looked back at him. His hair was slightly longer and stuck up at the back exactly as his fathers had. He smiled at this as he recognized features shared between himself and his parents. And speaking of which, he hadn't seen his parents in a while, maybe he should call them later.
His face was obviously slightly older, which made he confused, as he didn't remember looking this old, though for some reason, he thought there was a reason for that maybe. But the eyes were the same, the same brown eyes shared between himself and his mother. Though from the looks of things, he needed glasses just like his father. Without them, he could barely see.
Turning back around, he looked at the rest of the room. On the opposite side of the wall, another window was built into the side of the house giving a clear view of what looked to be a city off into the distance. Shinji looked around much of the rest of the room, looking at the light fixture on the ceiling, the white oak paneled door. The bedside table where he had retrieved his glasses which also had a book he had steadily been going through. The wooden frame of the bed, and the soft white cotton fabric that covered the bed. The person sleeping on the opposite side of the bed-
Shinji did a double take.
...There had been a person sleeping next to him...in the bed that he had been sleeping in...
Shinji gaped open mouth at this, during which the person wrapped in blankets started shifting their weight. Shinji could see the outline of the person's back as they turned away from him. He couldn't the face or head though; they seemed to have buried themselves deep under the covers.
'What do I do?' thought Shinji. He was starting to wonder if he even lived here, and if him, Touji, and Kensuke hadn't accidentally broke into someone else's house during the night. But that was impossible, he remembered everything in this room, except for this person. Was it some girl he had met during the night?
Flinching and sweating he slowly walked over to the edge of the bed and peered over towards the form of the person, though thats when the person turned towards him. Barely visible, poking out of the blankets was a forehead that gleamed like a pearl. Shinji stared at this for a while, gulping slowly, feeling extremely nervous over the situation.
A groan came from inside the blankets though, and the person shifted again, this time revealing more of the face. Her entire face came into frame then. The curve of her nose; the pronounced cheek bones; the perfectly shaped mouth; the light blue shade of her eyes; the glisten of her teeth as her mouth slowly opened and closed. And the hair...the silky strawberry hair that he loved to stroke late into the night when they were somewhere between sleeping and dreaming. Without a doubt, it was certainly-
"Asuka," mumbled Shinji as though he had never spoken the word in his life.
At Shinji's words, she seemed to stir slightly. Opening her eyes slowly, she looked back into the face that she woke up to every morning and mumbled a very sleepy-
"Ah...Shinji? What time is it?"
She did this as she rubbed her eyes with her small fists. Shinji however gaped back at her, unsure whether what he was seeing was true, or something that-
No, he couldn't remember...
But it was Asuka! It was certainly Asuka!
And Shinji embraced her as he had never done before, wrapping both his arms around her slim back and pulling her against his chest, burying his face in her lovely smelling hair.
"Eh? Shinji?" Asuka complained as she felt confused over these affections this early in the morning.
"Asuka," mumbled Shinji again. "Asuka..."
"What? Are you still a little drunk from last night? I know we both drank too much then normal, but cutting loose sometimes is a good thing."
Shinji simply hugged her tighter, enjoying the warmth being shared between their two bodies. This is what he loved. This is what he desired.
This is what he missed.
Missed? Why would he-
"Umm...Shinji? As much as I'm enjoying this...can you let go?" asked Asuka quietly.
Shinji pulled back slightly and looked into Asuka's eyes, seeing them wavering slightly. What was it about those eyes that made him so...
"Oh...sorry," mumbled Shinji as he let go.
"Whats up with you?" asked Asuka. "You're not normally this clingy in the morning, did you have a bad dream or something?"
"A bad dream?" wondered Shinji. "No, I don't remember anything like that-"
'...Forget...'
"Thats good then," smiled Asuka as she sat up and rested her back against the bed frame.
Shinji smiled also, but it felt somewhat forced.
"Soooo," said Asuka again, "what time is it?"
"Not sure," said Shinji, "I haven't been up for long."
"Hmmm...well, in any case I guess I should start breakfast."
"...Huh?" Shinji blinked.
"Breakfast," repeated Asuka as she slid off the leg, and walked on the balls of her feet to their dresser. "What do you want?" she asked as she started looking for something temporary to toss on. She was only in her underwear, which Shinji was just realizing. The light from the sun as it reflected of her beautiful skin was almost too much for him to bear. He just wanted to wrap his arms around her and-
"Waffles okay?" asked Asuka as she threw a shirt over her head and started putting on a pair of shorts.
"What?" said Shinji completely distracted by Asuka's beauty.
"Waffles silly," laughed Asuka as she walked past him. "They're your favorite right?"
"Huh?" asked Shinji, but next second, such an unbelievable hunger to have waffles made by Asuka engulfed him to the point he thought his mouth might start watering.
"Oh...yeah," said Shinji, realizing just how hungry he was. "Thanks Asuka."
"Don't mention it," smiled Asuka, "I love cooking for you Shinji!"
Shinji felt this statement odd for some reason, but let it slide. As Asuka walked passed him though, she pecked him briefly on the cheek with her lips.
"And it was great seeing Touji and Kensuke yesterday, I haven't seen them in ages, though it was too bad Hikari couldn't come."
"Oh...yeah," mumbled Shinji. "It was fun."
"Jeez, whats up with you this morning?" pouted Asuka. "First you embrace me lovingly, and then you act like you forgot things."
"Sorry," said Shinji, "I guess I'm just a bit hungover."
"Hmmm...and here I was hoping to spend some time with you after breakfast before your parents got here," mumbled Asuka quietly.
"My parents are coming?" asked Shinji incredulously.
"Of course, you called them a few days ago and told them we wanted to see them. After all, we haven't seen them since our wedding, though they both weird shifts over at Nerv so its to be expected."
'Marriage?' thought Shinji as he looked blankly at Asuka.
Him and Asuka were...married?
"Well, I'll get stared on breakfast then," beamed Asuka as she left their bedroom, leaving Shinji to stand there in confusion.
As he looked around at the bedroom, he noticed pictures that he hadn't noticed before. Walking over to one, he picked it up at random and stared at it. Him and Asuka, both around the ages of ten from the look of things were sitting at a park bench together and eating ice cream. They were both turned to each other and smiling. Turning the picture around, Shinji saw that words were scribbled on the back.
Asuka and Shinji, Zoo Trip, 2010
Looking around, Shinji saw that similar pictures of him and Asuka littered the bedroom upon the walls and dresser. Many of them were of them as kids, though a few were of them older. When they were in high school, college, and what finally looked like their wedding day. Shinji could see himself very clearly kissing Asuka in the photo. She looked beautiful in her white gown, her long hair flowing freely behind her.
Shinji smiled then, remembering the feel of Asuka's lips as he kissed her. Of course, they had kissed many times before that, but during there wedding, it had been something special.
That was a year ago, but really, when Shinji thought about it him and Asuka had known each other there wholes lives. There parents worked at Nerv together, so it was inevitable that they would meet eventually. They had been childhood friends for as long as Shinji could remember. But they had eventually grown to love each other. When this happened though, Shinji couldn't remember.
'How could I have forgotten something like this?' wondered Shinji.
He didn't know, and it bugged him slightly. But, his parents were coming later that day, so it was best not to worry about it.
Shrugging, Shinji left the bedroom and walked down the stairs to the kitchen below where the aroma of waffles filled his nostrils.
As morning ticked away, and afternoon slowly set in, Shinji and Asuka started preparing for Shinji's parents to arrive. They hadn't seen each other in a year, so tensions were rather high. It wasn't as if Shinji's parents had been upset with Asuka as a wife, it was just that they thought they should have waited longer. But when the time came, both Shinji's father and mother agreed that Asuka was the best choice for a wife. Shinji and Asuka had known each forever after all.
Since it had been some time since Shinji had seen his parents though, he wanted them to have the best impression of him as best possible, and Asuka of course. It was amazing though at how lax they had become around each other. This would of course have to improve upon when Shinji's parents came to visit. The nice thing about Asuka, compared to what most people seemed to think about her, she was unusually tidy. In fact, much of those two hours spent before Shinji's parents arrived, Asuka spent cleaning the entire house, except for the bedroom. Shinji had told her that he didn't want his parents entering it, and that if they tried, he would stop them. It was there own special place.
When two o' clock arrived though, Shinji heard the door bell ring. Knowing that Asuka was till getting ready, Shinji went ahead and decided to open the door, and there his parents stood, Yui and-
Shinji paused...his father wasn't there, but his mother was. And this was the first thing he was about to ask, when his mother answered it for him.
"Your father couldn't make it Shinji, he got stuck at the lab."
She smiled though, showing that she was glad to see him at least.
Stepping over the threshold of his house, Shinji brought his mom into a comforting hug, and brought her into his home.
"Asuka is just upstairs," said Shinji. "She should be down in a minute."
"I'm glad to see that you two are doing so well, and it looks like you've even peaked up a bit."
"Well...Asuka is a wonderful cook so-" smirked Shinji.
"Don't you know when to stop with the flattery," came a voice from the open door of the kitchen. Shinji turned towards the sound of the voice and saw Asuka standing there. She had separated her hair and tied it into two twin tails. She had put on an old favorite of hers; the yellow summer dress that she had worn a lot when she was younger.
"Asuka, its been a while," smiled Yui. "You look good."
"Thank you," replied Asuka. "Was Gendo not about to make it?"
"No," said Yui sadly, "he had to work. But tell me, how is life with Shinji? He isn't a nuisance is he?"
"No, not at all," said Asuka hurriedly.
"Thats a relief, I'm glad that Shinji didn't stay a kid forever."
"Mom," complained Shinji.
"Just kidding, just kidding," laughed Yui. "Though on a more serious note...when am I gonna get a grand child."
"...WHAT!" shouted Shinji and Asuka at the same time.
"Oh? Is it too early to ask about that?" said Yui feeling somewhat embarrassed. Though it was nowhere near as to how Asuka and Shinji felt.
"Children...mom we've only lived here a year," mumbled Shinji, his face completely red.
"Kids? We-We haven't even, I mean...thought about it what I, I mean no. Not like that. Eh?" stuttered Asuka uncontrollably.
"Ah...sorry, sorry," said Yui trying to repair the situation. "But you know, you and Asuka have known each other for a long time."
"But mom...that and this are two completely different things," said Shinji.
"Hmmm...well I suppose. But you know Misato and Kaji are already on there second-"
"Mom!"
"...Okay."
After that, they enjoyed talking together, catching up with each other since the past year. Yui told Shinji about the ongoings of the lab and told Asuka what her mom has been doing also. Apparently, Nerv was working on something that was supposed to better the human race, or at least thats what Shinji and Asuka got out of the conversation they had with Yui.
Though as the afternoon wore on, and set into evening, the sun started to go down across the ocean.
"Well...I should get home," said Yui eventually. "Gendo will be getting home from the lab soon."
"Alright see you mom," said Shinji as he stood up to walk her to the door.
"I'll drag your father along next time," promised Yui, as she stood just outside the door.
"I'll look forward to it," smiled Shinji.
"Then...next time."
"Right, next time," replied Shinji as he waved goodbye, before gently closing the door. Though the minute the closed, he turned to Asuka and said, "Sorry about that."
Asuka blinked. "About what?"
Feeling slightly embarrassed, Shinji mumbled, "You know...what she said about grandchildren...about us having kids."
"Oh...that," mumbled Asuka.
They both stood in silence for a while. Shinji wasn't sure what he should say, as he didn't know to say. It was something they hadn't even discussed yet, so his mother bringing it up all the sudden was sorta...
"Hey...Shinji?"
"Hmmm?"
"Lets go for a walk down on the beach."
"...What about dinner?"
"That can wait, and the sun is just setting so its really gorgeous out. Plus, we haven't walked on it in a while."
Shinji looked at her for a second, before agreeing with her. It had been a while since they had done something like that.
"Alright," said Shinji eventually. Walking over to her, he took a hold of her hand and walked out the back door of their house where they proceeded down the beach together.
The house itself was really only temporary lodgings, though it really felt like a never ending honeymoon. It was an old Nerv employee get away house that, thanks to Shinji and Asuka's parents, they were able to get it for them. Tokyo-3 was a forty-five minute drive away, but Asuka and Shinji enjoyed living in the country side. When they finally found a place to live themselves, they wanted to find something similar to what they had now. And Shinji had to admit, it would be difficult finding anything better then what they had.
The real bonus to the house though was that it had beach property that was exclusive to Nerv employees. Shinji and Asuka hadn't seen a single person at the beach since they had been there. It was there own little private beach, and they spent many sunsets walking the beach together or playing in the surf as they used to do as kids. But those days seemed to be slowly slipping away from them as they became older. So they wanted to enjoy these times as best they could.
As they stepped down off the steps that led down to the beach, Asuka took off the shoes she was wearing and undid the braids that held her twins tails together, making her strawberry colored hair flow in the ocean breeze. Shinji took his shoes off also, enjoying the crunch of the sand between his toes.
They walked hand in hand as they crossed the sand dunes of the beach, walking just barely far enough away from the surf so that they caught the spray from it. Shinji wondered why Asuka had wanted to come out here so suddenly, as it usually only happened when she wanted to tell him something.
And sure enough, Asuka suddenly let go of his and and walked towards the crashing waves, walking against the tide. She crinkled her toes, pressing them into the wet sand as she stood there, rocking backwards and forwards on the balls of her feet. Her hair blended perfectly with the setting sun in front of her, turning it a golden color.
"Hey Shinji..."
"Hmmm?"
"I've been thinking recently...about a lot of things. About how happy I am with you, and its still hard for me to believe that we ended up together. We've been friends through our entire lives, and then we suddenly started dating, and got married, and then here we are."
Asuka turned towards him then, her head now blocking the sun.
"Everything seemed to have happened so fast, its hard to take everything in. But I want you to know that I love you...will always love you."
Shinji blinked, not having a clue where she was going with this.
"Though its been on my mind for a while, what your mom said earlier...well...kids..."
Shinji blinked again...
"Kids?" asked a bewildered Shinji.
"Don't you think we should...discuss it? I mean...it came out of nowhere, and I never thought about it when I myself was young. But I'm in my twenties now, and what your mom said about Misato..."
"Asuka...are you saying?"
"Well, what about it? Should we have kids?" asked Asuka.
"...I don't know," said Shinji truthfully. "I've never thought about it much either...I mean...should we wait a little longer? Like...until we've settled down and I'm working."
"You're going to work and Nerv eventually right?"
"Yeah, thats what I'm going to do most likely."
"Most likely? Shinji, I need a definite answer from you. This has to be something we agree upon, and I want our parents approval before we go through with this."
"Well, my mom seems ready whenever," smirked Shinji.
"I'm serious about this Shinji," mumbled Asuka. "I-I'm still unsure of myself, but also I'm...I'm scared and nervous. Raising a family, I've given never consideration to any of these things...but when I'm with you I-"
"Asuka," mumbled Shinji.
Taking several steps out into the surf, Shinji stood in front of Asuka and wrapped her arms around her.
"I don't know about this either...its confusing at this point what we want to do. But I'm happy when I'm with you, we've always been happy together. So...if having a kid would make us even happier, I think we should. Though...it'll be tough. I've never changed a diaper...have you?"
"Once, when I was with Misato. It was rough."
Asuka smiled slightly at that, while Shinji grinned back, holding her close against him.
"Hey Shinji," said Asuka.
"Huh?"
"I love you..."
Shinji was rather taken aback at this, but responded anyway.
"Asuka...I too, I-
...I what?
Well, love of course.
"Shinji?" asked Asuka as she looked up at him.
'What was that?' wondered Shinji feeling bemused.
"Shinji?"
"Oh...sorry..."
"Jeez, you're supposed to say you love me back," pouted Asuka.
"Sorry..."
"You still apologize too much," laughed Asuka as she pressed her head against his chest.
"Hey...Shinji...kiss me..."
Shinji did a double take at that, and looked down at Asuka.
"Why so suddenly?"
"Do I need a reason to receive a kiss from my husband?" asked Asuka while blushing slightly. It was all Shinji could do to not ravish her right there on the spot, but something held him back. What was it though.
"No, you don't," mumbled Shinji.
"Then kiss me," beamed Asuka as she looked up into his face, leaning close to. He didn't realize just how much taller he was than Asuka. But as there faces neared, her caught a sweet scent coming from her hair. Her cheeks were rosy red from the cold wind, while her lips were pink and he knew from experience, quite soft.
Experience? What experience?
The wedding for instance.
...What else though.
That was just it...Shinji couldn't remember kissing her any other time.
"Shinji?" asked Asuka as she breathed directly next to his cheek, tickling his skin softly. "Is something wrong?"
"No..." mumbled Shinji. "Nothing is-"
But it was.
"-wrong."
"Then kiss me silly," laughed Asuka.
Something about this. Something about Asuka. About his mother...
"What is it?" mumbled Shinji
"...What?" asked Asuka, feeling confused now. She stopped leaning into Shinji and stepped back from him now, looking somewhat worried.
"Whats wrong Shinji?"
Shinji looked around then; at the ocean; at the beach; at the sun; the trees; their house.
...Something was wrong...
Everything was wrong.
But Asuka was here...so did it really matter?
And he loved Asuka...he really did.
But-
'This isn't Asuka,' Shinji thought suddenly. 'Asuka isn't this kind and caring; Asuka isn't this beautiful; Asuka would never cook breakfast for me without me begging her first; Asuka wouldn't tell me she loves me; Asuka would never try to kiss me.'
Then what is this?
"Shinji?" asked the Asuka standing in front of him.
What is this place?
"Shinji? Whats going on? Whats wrong! Shinji!"
Shinji shuddered...remembering something...from long ago? No, recently...but it was painful, thats why he couldn't remember it. But he had to! It was important. It was important to him, because it related to her. But did he want to know? After all, this life wasn't so bad. Even if this Asuka is different, it isn't so bad. Everybody is nice to him, everything is simple. Nothing ever happens in this mundane life.
But this isn't reality.
And this isn't my Asuka.
"Where is Asuka?" wondered Shinji out loud.
"Wh-What are you talking about Shinji?" asked the Asuka in front of him.
Shinji looked down at the Asuka in front of him, and was amazed that he could have been fooled by such a thing. It was too perfect, and thats what the problem had been.
"I'm sorry," said Shinji, "but this isn't, not what I wanted. This reality, where I only matter. Everybody else is somewhere out there, but I didn't care."
"Sh-Shinji...what are you-"
"Sorry," replied Shinji, "but I'm not being fooled by this anymore."
Turning around, he looked at a space directly into the side of cliff upon which there house had been built, and suddenly, an empty space appeared cut into the side of the cliff. It was black, with very little light, except for a dim glow.
Shinji walked over to this space and looked down into its depth. He couldn't see anything, but he guessed what was likely down there.
"What are you doing?" Asuka suddenly shouted behind him.
Shinji turned around and saw that she was crying. This was likely a final attempt to try and keep him there, but he wasn't buying it. After all...Asuka was-
"I'm sorry," mumbled Shinji. "I really am...but I don't belong here, and neither do you really. This place...this false reality...I think I understand it, and I'm ashamed of it. I was weak...Ironically, I did exactly what Lilith told me not to forget, and that was the lives of others affected by my decisions. I can't hear them though...and I need to fix that."
"I don't understand," whispered Asuka.
"No...you wouldn't, since you are something that I desired...out of my selfishness, because I wanted to run away from it all. But not anymore..."
Sighing, Shinji looked towards the black hole for a brief instance before making up his mind. Within that space, Lilith was waiting.
Without a seconds thought, Shinji into the unknown.
And-
His eyes opened.
He was flat on his back, on what felt to be a sand like substance, but it was pale white. Pushing himself up, he looked around at his surroundings, but only several things were in his vision. The first, was that of a large decrepit tree with almost all its branches withered and rotted away. Around the tree was the ground, blackened with what appeared to be fire. The tree was on an island that was wrapped around by a small creak. But the creak seemed to have dried up long ago, leaving nothing left but the bones of the fish. However sitting in the middle of this island was Lilith.
Shinji stared at her for a few seconds, marveling at the change in her. She no longer looked like Asuka or Rei, but something closer to a shrine maiden. Lilith had a long flowing kimono that was pure white, along with white hair that reached to her waist.
"I see you have awakened, Shinji," came Lilith's voice from very close to him. But the strange thing was, he cold still see here on the island.
"Yeah...I have," muttered Shinji as he stood up and looked at her.
Lilith finally turned towards Shinji, and then he understood that she wasn't communicating with him verbally but that she was using her AT-field to resonate with his so that they could talk.
"I must say that I am impressed that you were able to escape that false reality, and without using your angel powers."
"I created it," Shinji mumbled. "It was mine to control."
"True, very true. It was what you desired, and so, your desire was granted because of Third Impact."
"So then...its over?"
"The Tree of Life is withering away...so yes...it is."
Shinji stared at Lilith for a minute before he spoke, "Why did you do all this?"
Lilith blinked, momentarily surprised. "What are you talking about?" she asked oddly polite.
"Why did you lead me all this way, only to have me reject that false reality for one that is more painful than anything I could ever bare."
"But it was those memories of that girl that makes you desire the truth. As you realized, that Asuka is not the Asuka that you know. That Asuka was simply how you wished, or desired to see Asuka as, just as everybody else in that world was as you desired. A living mother, a father that, though he works, cares about you. Whatever you desired, the reality created. During your time there, new memories were constantly being created based on questions you asked. But it was your own defense against what the truth of it was. And that was that it was all false to begin with.
Lilith looked at the Tree of Life then and said, "This is the alternate dimensions sealed within the earth called the Garden of Eden. This is the plane in which the angels used to live, but you destroyed them, and now the branches are rotted and dead. The trunk will soon die, and then-"
"And then what?" asked Shinji.
Lilith was silent for a while until she finally said.
"Everything will revert to LCL fluid...most likely, planet earth will cease to exist."
"And that is what you want?"
"I want to recreate the earth as I see fit, but the Tree of Life must be destroyed before that can happen."
"And that is what you want?"
"It is," said Lilith as she stared at the dying tree.
...
"Is that the truth?" asked Shinji.
Lilith rounded on him.
"What do you mean is that the truth! Why wouldn't it be!"
Shinji shrugged and said, "Adam...or maybe I should say my father...he is angry with you, but he still pities you, maybe that is his way. But I think its true that you're lonely, and that you've been alone for too long. Your hatred of Adam and the angels brewed until you decided to destroy everything that you once loved.
"What would you know about that Shinji!" Lilith shouted at him.
"Being lonely? I know that better than anyone," mumbled Shinji.
"I tell you! I will destroy the Tree of Life and in its place set myself as the center piece of earth and recreate it as I see fit. All life will stem from me!"
"But you'll still be lonely," said Shinji.
"Shut up!" shouted Lilith as she sent her AT-field at him. But Shinji skillfully dodged.
Breathing heavily, Lilith said, "I should have just killed you back then, during Third Impact, but I was curious about you Shinji, curious what decision you would choose, and I was surprised to see that you chose this reality over the other."
"Don't be so surprised Lilith," said Shinji. "You killed Asuka...and I can't forgive you of that...but I do pity you, and not because of Adam, but because of myself. I pity you because I know that feeling of loneliness...but Asuka saved me from all that...and she also saved me again."
"What are you talking about?"
"Her voice...her voice brought me back from that reality."
"Thats impossible," spat Lilith, "she's dead!"
"Physically...yes. But within that sea of LCL fluid, Asuka is there somewhere. She has the strongest will out of anyone I have ever seen, and knows clearly who she is. She found herself in there, and called me back. I'm sure of it."
"Shut Up!" shouted Lilith again as she sent her AT-field at Shinji, but this time, Shinji blocked it easily.
"Lilith...I want to talk to Ayanami..."
"...What?"
"I want to talk to Ayanami," repeated Shinji clearly. "So if you could-"
Lilith lashed out at him again, but Shinji ignored this, dodging the AT-field again.
"Why do you want to talk that useless, soulless-"
"Because Ayanami will tell me," whispered Shinji. "Tell me what you don't want-"
Lilith suddenly disappeared from the island and appeared directly in front of Shinji, throwing he fist against him. Dodging around to the side, Shinji carelessly projecting his AT-field as Lilith swung around again, striking her fist against his AT-field. But Lilith seemed strangely underpowered here.
"You're forgetting Lilith," said Shinji. "That this is where the angel half of me would be the strongest. Though still human, I was born from Adam. "
"SHUT UP!"
Lilith's AT-field exploded outward around her, ripping apart the ground as it charged towards him. Frowning slightly, Shinji mumbled, "She isn't going to listen...is she..."
Resigning himself to what it was, he brought his right fist back and prepared to generate his AT-field for what he hoped was the last time.
I've had this chapter in my mind for a while and in particular the false reality section. The big thing I had to keep in mine was, to not let the romance get too deep. Under no circumstances was a going to have Shinji say that he loved this fake Asuka, nor was he going to kiss her. I mean, this hasn't even happened in the true reality. (Sorta)
Anyway, enough rambling. Back to Christmas dinner.