Coran and Allura pushed them all to rest and Keith can see how exhausted they all are. He's tired too, his own nerves frayed with his close call with death but there is something more than exhaustion at play with Shiro. It makes him unsettled and nervous – reluctant to leave Shiro's side.
They all shuffle along silently together along the ship's corridors, each of them peeling off to go to their own separate rooms until it's just Shiro and Keith lingering at the end. They stand outside of Shiro's doorway and it opens. Shiro lumbers inside, going straight to the bed and sinking down onto the mattress, his wrists braced on his knees and his head hanging low enough that the white shock of his hair obscures his face. He hasn't met Keith's eye since he pulled Keith into a hug and brushed his lips over his hair earlier and Keith isn't sure what to make of that. He tries to find the meaning behind it, but its elusive and scatters away.
Or maybe he just doesn't want to see it for what it was.
He hesitates by the door, unsure whether to say or go.
Black won't let him leave, just the thought of turning to go to his own room abruptly has something like an oppressive weight pushing down on him. He hears it in his head, Black's rumble and he knows it's her way of pushing them together.
"Shiro," he says finally, stepping into the room and letting the door shut and seal behind him. Shiro doesn't look up but there's a distinct wave of something that feels like approval that washes over him before flitting away and he's alone in his own mind again.
Shiro doesn't answer but Keith treads over to him and sits down beside him on the bed. The mattress dips lightly and Shiro shifts to accommodate him. Keith can feel tension radiating off Shiro in waves. He's barely holding himself together. His eyes are even now squeezed shut, his jaw tight and Keith reaches for his hand.
Shiro's Galra hand.
Keith lays it palm up and runs his fingertips over the foreign tech. Shiro shudders.
"Shiro," he says it softly, as though worried someone else might overhear even when it's just the two of them in this room. But they are completely alone. Even Black has backed off her connection.
Shiro moves and then Keith is suddenly crushed against Shiro's chest. He can feel Shiro's heart racing under his cheek, the tremble in his arms as they wrap around him like steel bands. Shiro turns his face into his hair again.
There's a part of Keith that searches aimlessly in his mind for the right words to say, for some kind of inspiring phrase or pearl of wisdom that would ease whatever it is that's eating Shiro up inside right now but he comes up with nothing.
Then, without any warning, Shiro pulls back but Keith refuses to let him go. He reaches up and takes Shiro's chin, forcing him to look back at him when he tries to face away. There's a dullness to Shiro's eyes that makes Keith's heart race anxiously. Shiro is so close to the edge, and for the first time in a long time, Keith feels a very real fear.
What if he can't pull him back?
What if Shiro doesn't want to be pulled back? Keith knows that self-destructive desire all too well. Absently, he rubs his thumb over Shiro's cheek and Shiro's lids droop. A little bit of the tension slides out of him.
Keith stares at Shiro's lips, the shape of them burned into his psyche. He remembers what they were like to kiss, the taste of them, the way they felt as they explored his body. It's been so long he doesn't think they could never pick up where they left off. Too much has changed, but not how much he cares. Without really thinking, he leans forward, brushing his lips against Shiro. It's tentative at first and before Keith has the chance to pull back, to have his cheeks flame in embarrassment, Shiro is kissing him back hard, a hand tangled in Keith's hair.
Keith's heart swells in his chest and his axis that had always been a little off kilter since the report of the Kerberos mission failure, finally righted and settled.
Shiro's eyes open and this time, they are clear.
The rest of the team is seated around the table, picking half-heartedly at the meal in front of them. Shiro takes his plate and slides into the empty seat at the head of the table beside Pidge. They all greet him quietly, but warmly and his jaw is tight with tension. Keith takes his seat, down the other end of the table and Shiro finds himself irrationally irritated that they have to take such strides to assume a casualness between them – like they hadn't just spent the last few hours entwined around each other.
Like they hadn't made love to each other mere hours ago like it was the first and last time.
He grips the fork in his hand and stares down at his plate. It's not until he hears Pidge say his name worriedly that he looks up. They're all staring at him… or more importantly, at his hand, now glowing purple and warping the shape of the fork. He drops it in surprise and it clatters to the table, mangled and unusable. Shiro can barely lift his face.
"Shiro," Allura says softly, her eyes kind. The space mice are perched on her shoulders. "Perhaps you need more rest?"
"Yeah, that… that was pretty intense, man," Lance says. He looks troubled and he glances from one end of the table to the other. "Did you guys have a fight?"
"Lance!" Pidge hisses.
"What?" Lance demands. "Like we don't all know-"
"Shut up, Lance!" There's a thunk and the plates on the table rattle as Pidge stomps on Lance's foot. She's looks at Keith apologetically but he's scowling, staring at Lance so hard Shiro half expects him to launch himself down the table at the younger paladin and throttle him.
Then again, that's pretty much par for the course with those two. Shiro opts not to play favourites and hurries to answer.
"Just... just still tired I guess. How long was it, anyway?"
"A couple of vargas," Hunk answers. He stabs at something purple on his plate, propping his chin in one hand. "Not long enough," he mutters as he chews.
Shiro pushes his plate away, his appetite gone. Keith is still avoiding his eye.
Its hours later and Shiro is having a difficult time concentrating on the task at hand.
They need to meet with Lotor (they can hardly turn him away, allies scarce as they are – notwithstanding the fact he saved Keith's life) but no one trusts the Galra prince as far as they can throw him. They argue back and forth trying to come up with a contingency plan, or even a trap – something, anything to get them a leg up on the prince.
But Shiro's mind keeps wandering.
Back to Zarkon, back to the arena, back to how it felt to have the man he loved back in his arms and how damn close he came to losing it.
Keith lost him not once but twice, and each time, Shiro had been too gutless to sit Keith down and tell him just how much he means to him. He tried to imagine their situations reversed, if it had been Keith in his place.
It hurt so much he would gladly take beating after beating in Zarkon's arena without hesitation.
"There's something I need to say," Shiro hears himself suddenly announce. The team turn to him curiously and he falters. Then he's speaking again before the idea has even taken form.
"We had a great victory today at a great cost. We lost a lot of good allies, and we almost lost one of our own-" he looks pointedly at Keith and he sees the way his shoulders stiffen. "But I'm tired of the Empire and Zarkon ruling our lives," he continues.
Shiro's gaze travels over each of their faces where they are scattered around the castle ship's circular couch. They're all gazing at him expectantly now. Well, all of them except for Keith.
He makes his way to Keith and drops to his knees. Keith startles and gives him a strange look. "Shiro, what are you doing?"
There's a little squeak from Allura's space mice and Shiro is aware of Allura's lips turning upwards in a secret smile. Beside her, Pidge and Lance share a glance, both biting their tongues with the knowledge that Something Important is about to happen. Coran and Hunk even wait expectantly, Hunk watching on intently even as he slurps loudly on a space juice popper.
Shiro's heart is hammering in his chest as he reaches for Keith's hand. Something that he suspects is Black's familiar static buzzes at the back of his mind.
"Keith," he says as he takes Keith's hand in his own. "Being boyfriends didn't work for us. It didn't stick, but I need you to know that it is you that's given me the strength to keep fighting. The thought of you kept me warm when I went to space, it kept me alive when I was taken by the Galra-"
Keith's eyes go wide. "Shiro…"
But Shiro plods on. "I don't want to hide it any more. I don't want to pretend that I haven't loved you with every fibre of my being since the moment I saw you face down in the dirt at the garrison. We're fighting for the universe, but we're also fighting for us." Shiro pauses then draws in a deep breath. "So, what I'm asking is… Keith, will you marry me?"
The room is so quiet and still. It lasts all of three seconds before Allura clasps her hands to her chest and squeals.
"A wedding!" Her eyes are shining and beside her, Coran grins and twists his moustache in contemplation, one hand held behind his back.
"I'm quite good at planning weddings," he says as he rocks back on his heels. "We had a lot here at the castle back in King Alfor's day-"
"Easy, Coran," Shiro cuts him off ruefully. Shiro's eyes flick towards Keith and then down at Keith's palm, pale skin against the harsh tech of his Galra hand. For the briefest moment, he feels a little unsure. "He hasn't said yes yet."
"Oh, yes… right you are. Well, ah, carry on then."
Shiro lifts his eyes to Keith. His eyes are wide and his mouth hangs open.
"Uh oh," Hunk leans over to Pidge. "Shiro broke him."
"Shhh!" Pidge hisses, leaning forward in anticipation of Keith's response. Lance finally scoffs a heartbeat later, waving his hand about in dismissal.
"Of course, he's going to say yes. No brainer."
Hunk opens his mouth to respond but they dissolve into bickering. All the while, Shiro's eyes don't leave Keith's face and his grip on Keith's hand never falters.
"I've been ready to die so many times, but now I have to live," Keith finally says.
Shiro cocks his head. His heart is beating so loud, he's sure the entire room can hear it. "So, is that a yes?"
Keith stares him down and Shiro starts to sweat. Has he misjudged this? Really? Keith was ready to throw himself into the barrier to save them, to save Voltron, but maybe that didn't mean what Shiro thought it did. Maybe all those lingering touches and whispered confessions in the dark meant something else - He's about to open his mouth to salvage his pride when Keith finally speaks.
"I'm all in," he says and his voice cracks slightly with emotion. Shiro thinks he might die from the relief.
"HA! I won!" Lance shouts, pumping a fist into the air then freezes. "Wait, was that a yes? That was a yes, right?" Lance glares at Keith.
"Yes," Keith says firmly and then Shiro is choking out a harsh bark of relief and pulling him close. There's exclamations of joy and excited chatter all around them. Glancing over Shiro's shoulder, Keith sees Lance do some kind of victory dance that involves a lot of flailing arms and jerky step movements. It's ridiculous, Lance is ridiculous but they're all smiling and laughing and Shiro feels lighter than he has in years.
"Told you!" Lance chortles. "Pay up Hunkie boy."
"Aw, man," Hunk mutters, but he's smiling.
Shiro ignores them all, wrapping his arms around Keith and smiling against Keith's hair. "Thank god," he murmurs low that only Keith can hear him. His heart is still racing. "You had me worried there."
Keith makes a sound that seems suspiciously like a snort. "As if there was any doubt."
Shiro hugs him tighter… and he feels his heart start to heal.