A/N: I am finally 100% free of my brain disease... have a happy holidays and merry snowdown my friends.
Chapter 28: Burdens of the Past
Riven couldn't stand it. The time it took for the sun to set felt excruciatingly slow. A hurricane of emotions and thoughts were clashing in her head all day. How could she simply think she could suddenly handle crowds of people...people who she was once ordered to kill. How could she simply talk to Katarina of all people...a person she tries to avoid at the Institute. There was nothing simple about this night. Riven had been quiet most of the day, even with Ahri asking her question after question. The exile shot Ahri a glare when she asked questions regarding Irelia, knowing all too well that the fox was playing a clever little game.
Ahri's tails swayed as she sat across from Riven, "every time you look at me like that, I am going to assume I already know the answer," Ahri snickered.
"You know nothing," Riven grumbled.
"So defensive," Ahri teased playfully, a sultry gaze upon the larger warrior across the table, "and here I thought you were more of an attack dog, not a guard dog." Ahri's ears perked at the soft popping sound of clenching knuckles. "Oh," she cooed, "did I stroke a nerve?"
Both of Riven's fists were tight, her knuckles as white as her hair. Her crimson eyes burned with pent up agitation. How much longer until she loses her temper?
A wicked little smirk pulled at Ahri's lips as her ear twitched and she raised a single jet black brow curiously, "does she like to be stroked?"
Riven snapped.
Ahri squealed as the table before her was flipped to the side, opening the space between herself and the heated Noxian warrior. The fox was quick to her feet and darted passed Riven, who tried to grab her in the process. She loved this game most, cat and mouse; except this cat, was quick on its feet. Ahri gasped slightly, realizing that Riven was a little closer to her than she anticipated. She squeaked and slid the door before her shut and dashed out of the way. The sound of snapping wood and tearing paper caught her ears as she watched Riven break through the door and crash to the floor.
"AHRI!" Riven shouted as she tried to untangle herself from the debris.
Ahri's tails fluffed and she darted to the front door as Riven was making progress to get up. "See you at the festival, Riven!" Ahri giggled and ran out the door into the young evening.
Riven growled as she managed to sit up in the pile of broken wood and torn paper that was once the door to the kitchen. She sighed deeply, picking up one of the splintered wood pieces and looked at it, her eyes then shifting to the flipped table. She lost it, and Ahri thought it was a game. The wood clinked as she tossed it to the side and got up from the mess. Riven stepped over the debris and into the kitchen to fix the table. She quietly looked over to the broken doorway and frowned, just how would she explain that to Irelia? The exile rubbed the back of her neck as she approached the debris. She knelt down and began to pick up the mess by the armful and looked around, thinking of a place to dispose of it. Riven ended up piling the remains of the broken door outside next to the house. With a final sigh she look up at the young evening sky, knowing all too well that it was almost time to head into town.
Riven quietly returned into the house and stepped into her room. She collected her jacket slowly put it on and then gathered some of the Ionian currency that Lux had kindly helped her collect from the Institute's exchange before leaving for Ionia. Riven looked at coins with a blank face; how much did she even have? Material things and money were things of interest lost to the past. She shrugged and shook her head slightly, folding up what seemed to be a lot and buttoning it away within the front pocket of her dark green jacket Lux had so kindly gifted to her. Riven also packed away more coins into a small leather pouch attached to her belt at her hip in the process. Perhaps she can treat the petite little mage with something in return, considering how oblivious Riven had been to her years of earnings piled up from her service to the Institute. The Noxian warrior had zero idea what someone like Lux or a Demacian in general would even want for a present. Noxians were easy. Give some polish to a soldier to keep their weapon clean and they'd be pleased. While she continued to mindlessly brainstorm about little trinkets for Luxanna, the thought of finding something for Irelia started to sink into her quarry. She swallowed as all thought process came to a complete halt...
Just what in the hell would Irelia even want?
Riven felt pale faced as her brain went blank when the question continued to repeat itself. Did she really know so little of the Captain that something as simple as a small gift would worry the exile that Irelia wouldn't like what she gave? When was the last time she even gave someone a gift anyways? Snowdown wasn't exactly a forgiving holiday to the the lonely and exiled. Just how long had it truly been? Riven continued to reel in on memories as she walked to exit her room, suddenly pausing in the doorway.
The emerald green rune softly glowed from the face of the stone blade resting against the wall as the gaze of its owner fell upon it. The tempo of her heartbeat elevated slightly the longer she looked at the blade, knowing all too well how much she didn't want to leave it behind. The consequence for both her and Irelia would be high if Karma and Soraka knew the blade left the Institute, and they were surly to be present at the festival. This was a step for Riven, to sacrifice her comfort, for the comfort of the Ionian people and festival goers. That ominous black Noxian Rune blade would surly stir some fears and unwanted attention in a crowded space, broken or not. Drawing in a deep breath, Riven closed her eyes and tried to settle her nerves as she stepped through the door, leaving the blade behind.
The worn path leading to the lantern lit streets felt like miles as the exile approached the opening. Riven felt semi relieved that she was not accompanied by Ahri in these early moments of preparing herself to cope in a crowded and exciting setting like the Festival of Fire. The snowy haired warrior stopped at the end of the path, right on the edge where the dirt turned into those perfect brick patterned streets. Exhaling softly, Riven stood up straight and stepped out into the soft lantern lit streets of the Placidium. The gentle light radiating from hundreds of strung lanterns was unusually calming. Warm colors of reds, golds and oranges lined the streets. Crimson eyes silently watched various groups of people walking towards the main festivities in the heart of the city.
"Oof!"
Riven blinked as she felt something bump into her leg. Much to her surprise, she didn't jump from the contact. Riven looked down to see a young boy had fallen down from the contact.
"Milo! Watch where you're going!" A young female voice called out and picked up the giggling boy from the sidewalk. The young girl looked to be no older than sixteen and the boy in her hands around eight or nine. "Sorry about that miss, he's just excited," The girl apologized for what Riven assumed to be a little brother and ushered the boy and herself passed the Noxian exile.
Riven chuckled softly watching the boy run ahead of the girl again, both laughing as she chased him, siblings. The exile remained quiet as she walked the familiar path towards the festivities. Turning the corner at the end of the street, Riven felt her entire body go stone stiff.
Not like this...
Crowds upon crowds of people bustled through the street. Laughing children, some dressed in traditional Ionian clothing, ran around with sparkler sticks. Booths and stands lined the sides of the streets and lively music could be heard drowning out what little silence the shouting salesmen, conversing people, and good spirits left behind.
Breathe...
"You look nervous," an aged voice chuckled from her left, "are you lost?"
Riven tried desperately not to jump out of her skin and her head whipped to look for the source of the voice to her left. She blinked seeing no one until the elderly man cleared his voice and she looked down.
The old man looked up at the exile with a kind smile, "First time at a Festival, Stranger?"
Riven shrugged her broad shoulders, "You could say that..." The exile then noticed the blankets laid out and littered with little charms comprised of multiple colors, materials and shapes. "At least...to this one, that is..." Riven mumbled.
The old Ionian man wheezed out a series of laughs as the exile looked intrigued by his display of trinkets, the truth behind the action of the tall and stocky woman squatting down to have a closer look. "I always knew people would stop for shiny things!" He exhaled a series of laughs once again.
Trying desperately to hold back a small snort as a response to this eccentric old coot's rather contagious laughter, Riven simply focused on the various charms. It was jewelry. Eyes of gentle crimson amber trailed over the different shapes and sizes of the shined silver charms, a particular set of animals catching her attention. An ox, a snake, a wolf, a fox, a dragon, a crane, a... The exile quietly touched the little charm shaped like a tiger, her attention caring little for the rest of the animals past that point.
"Ahhhh, yes, Ro'Kang the Mighty, Ionian Spirit Guardian of strength and wisdom. Do you know the stories of these Guardians, stranger?" The old man seemed pleased and almost itching to talk about the charms more.
"May I?" Riven asked, wishing to look over the charm.
"Yes! Yes! Please, be my guest," the elder merchant urged, "The animal lords are here to help guide one's spirit down an enlightened path to greater understanding of one's self and ideals. Back in the old days, most people chose which spirit guardian's teachings they wished to follow, however now it is more of a calendar assignment by birth." The old man shrugged.
Riven barely paid attention to the merchant man rambling on about the meanings of the charms and their role in the modern era of Ionia. She looked at the charm with an observant eye, looking over the fine details of the charm's beautiful craftsmanship. The design clearly belonged to the traditional artistry of Ionia and the small sapphire gemstones for eyes bright against the shined silver of the charm's body. There were two little noticeable nicks upon the arch of the tiger charm's back...the exile knew the story...even in art the tiger wears her scars. Riven turned the charm and noticed the little line of etched lettering across the back of the charm. It was clearly of the Ionian language no doubt. "Excuse me?" She asked curiously, "what does the lettering on the back say?"
"Ah! I'm pleased you asked. Each spirit guide had one great and important lesson for all their kin to learn. Ro'Kang's most important teaching was that 'Strength and Power are as different as the sun and moon.'" The old man smiled, his hands now resting in his lap while he continued to sit criss-cross on the large red pillow.
A strange feeling of slight confusion picked away at Riven's thoughts about the meaning of the engraved charm baring the most important message of the white tiger spirit guide. "How can that be true? Strength and power surly cannot be that different...To be strong is to be powerful, and to be powerful is to be strong."
The old man's smile never faded from his visage, "I believe you have found your guide."
The confusion of her thoughts leaked to her expression. Why was it that Ionians always seemed to talk in riddles? Did they find humor in it? What did he even mean by that statement as a response to Ro'Kang's lesson? Why would she need an Ionion spirit guide if she already knew the answer...at least...she thought she knew the answer? There was no denying that some strange things had happened the evening she spent with Elder Mako and was first told the story of the white tiger lord, Ro'Kang. But for as long as she had been in Ionia, all the magic and spiritual mumbo jumbo still made little sense to the veteran Noxian soldier. Riven looked down at the charm in her hand once more. She was never keen on indulging in material items like jewelry and trinkets, but this particular piece sparked her interest, the proof in her hand finding its way into the small leather pouch attached to her belt upon her hip.
"Take it," the old man gestured.
Riven looked at him, her hand still in her pouch. She blinked, feeling caught off guard that a merchant would just give away a fine piece of silver such as this. "N-No, no, I can pay for it," Riven insisted, pulling out a handful of coins that was clearly way more than enough. She's seen these kind of things happen before in villages, a Noxian framed for stealing after accepting a gratuity. After all, no matter where you may come from, no one is immune to hatred...not that she thought this little old man to be one to sell her out to the Ionian authorities.
The old man chuckled and gently pushed her fist full of Ionian coins away and folded her fingers over the charm in her hand, "No one can put a price on guidance. I have lived long enough to know when I see a lost spirit."
Riven looked down at the fist concealing the charm, "but...my spirit is not lost..."
"No," the man smiled and sat back up, "at least, not anymore."
The exile didn't know what to think, her gaze still focused upon her hand that held the charm she just received as a gift. Riven jumped a bit hearing a large cannon go off in the distance as she stood up, an echoed cheer erupting shortly after. Just how long had she spent here with the old man and his charms?
"Ah! The festival has now officially begun!" The old man laughed, "Go, Go! Enjoy yourself!" He waved her to be off with his bony arms.
Riven nodded and turned to hustle off to find a guard post, but halted after a few steps and turned to look at the old man once again. "Thank you," she bowed her head and shoulders towards the old man, "for your kindness."
The old man smiled warmly and placed his hands together and bowed in return before watching Riven wonder off down the streets.
It didn't take long for Riven to find a guard post along the streets of the city. She considered herself lucky that the crowds of people had cleared out to go attend the Festival's opening ceremonies for the time being which made finding a guard tower less stressful. She half smiled, recognizing one of the guardsmen standing with some others at the station. "Ah, you don't know how relieved I am to see a familiar face amidst this chaos," Riven said as she walked up to the guards.
Yu, Irelia's second in command turned to face Riven, "Ah, Riven, our esteemed guest," Yu greeted the exile and bowed his head slightly, acknowledging Riven's presence. "I am going to assume you are going to ask me where the Captain is, aren't you?" Yu's tone was neutral.
Riven had to admit, Irelia and her guards sure knew how to keep a public face of authority to a high standard. "You read my mind," Riven commented back.
Yu exhaled a slight sound one could barely consider a hint of a laugh and nodded, "Very well, I will escort you to the Captain and relieve her for a break. Come along." The guardsman with ornate armor gestured her to follow as he dismissed himself from his fellow guardsmen.
"Wait..." Riven muttered as she followed Yu, "You can dismiss Irelia from duty?"
"Even Captains need breaks," Yu said as he continued to escort Riven towards the main guard tower in the plaza of the city's heart. "Most of the time, the Captain would merely shoot down my suggestion for her to rest even for a moment, but," Yu looked back at her, "I am sure she will make an exception for you."
Riven took a deep breath, "I guess we shall see."
"We shall. Come, this way," Yu gestured, turning from the street that was packed with people, "we will go in the back way."
"Thank you for that..." Riven sighed in relief, feeling glad she didn't have to squeeze through a crowd of people and followed Yu into the back side of the central guard tower. The inside of the tower was just as ornate as the armor the guards dressed in. Comparatively, Riven found Irelia's Captain's garb to be far more casual than some of her subordinates...perhaps they had an honor guard system similar to Noxus. The soldiers graced to be given that honor to stand guard in High Command's headquarters was grand among their peers in the infantry during the times they weren't deployed. Riven had an opportunity to serve a season there, but was deployed to Ionia before she could.
"Wait here," Yu said as he walked deeper into the tower.
Riven silently waited in anticipation for Yu to fetch his Captain. She pulled the small tiger charm from her leather pouch to look at it more.
It didn't take long before Irelia quietly walked up to Riven, who wasn't paying attention at the time. "Can I help you?" Irelia teased, catching the exile off guard.
Riven jumped slightly, tucking the charm away before turning to see Irelia standing before her, her hands casually resting upon her hips while she waited for the exile to reply. Riven looked at her and smirked softly, "Yes, actually, you can."
Irelia smiled and then paused, "wait...where is Ahri?"
Riven sighed and rubbed the back of her head, "yeah...about that...she, uh, she kinda ran off earlier..."
"That...ugh..." Irelia pinched the bridge of her nose and stood there for a short while. "Well, no reason to stand around here then," Irelia finally chuckled and walked towards the doors leading out to the streets, her hand brushing over Riven's softly as she stepped passed the exile.
Riven didn't hesitate to follow Irelia out of the central guard tower, a soft and content little smile resting upon her lips from when the captain's fingers had ghosted over her bandaged hand. A slight tingle always seemed to linger upon her skin when ever Irelia touched her. Riven knew the feeling was just in her head, considering that hand and arm were forever damaged from the toxins of the Zaunite war machines, but she welcomed it. Any feeling was better than the phantom pain and reminder of that fateful day. She could still remember the taste of her dirtied heavy brown cloak upon her tongue when she'd took in a mouthful while peeling melted green iron from her forearm, the armor taking tanned skin and flesh with it. Riven shook the thought from her head as she stepped through the doorway and into the soft light of the lantern-lined streets. She felt at peace as her eyes of warm crimson amber fell upon the soft features of Irelia's gentle face. It felt as if the whole world had vanished around them, Riven leaning down slightly and resting her forehead against Irelia's. The exile closed her eyes, feeling herself start to lean closer.
"Not here..."
The soft whisper of Irelia's request caught her attention in time as Riven quietly stood back up. She didn't feel denied or insulted by the captain's words, in fact, it was a good save. The last thing Irelia needed was someone catching view of their Captain fooling around with a Noxian, and not just any Noxian either; a Champion of the League.
Irelia smiled softly and touched Riven's face gently. If only she could just be open with her, sometimes awkward, Noxian warrior. Perhaps someday...but that day was not today. Besides, the relationship she shared with the exile was far from normal...considering she just found herself suddenly intimate with Riven...not that she minded despite how nontraditional the development was. At times she had her doubts with how she really felt about Riven but all those doubts and insecurities seem to melt away when she would see the troubled Noxian stand in the real world with her and not look lost in a flashback. If she truly was a reason why Riven would try to fight back her inner demons then she felt honored to play that role for her old enemy turned lover. Irelia chuckled hearing Riven's stomach growl, "hungry?"
Riven casually stood up straight, a slight tint of pink shading her tanned cheeks as she rubbed the back of her head with an embarrassed fidget. "I guess... I haven't eaten since this morning..."
"Well, you and I both know that is no way to preserve your strength," Irelia sarcastically scolded and laughed softly. "I don't have much time, so let's go find something to eat and maybe do a scroll."
"A scroll?" Riven cocked a snow white brow as she walked next to Irelia.
"Yes, it is an Ionian tradition as old as the Festival of Fire itself," Irelia explained as they continued to walk towards the main festivities. "Steel yourself," Irelia said as they approached the crowds of bustling people.
Riven drew in a heavy breath after Irelia's warning. It was silly...and kinda felt silly...that such a term one would expect a Commander to say to a soldier before battle would be used upon her before merely stepping into a loud and crowded space. She didn't think Irelia silly for saying it to her...she felt silly with how much comfort Irelia saying it brought to her. Riven felt her shoulders relax and her resolve build...she felt...in control. What a rush it was! To feel that discipline and confidence! To feel...like her old self. Words could not describe how surreal it felt to be in control as she walked next to Irelia through the crowd of people. Perhaps that was the reminder she needed, to feel like the steel edge of her blade, after all, steel does not feel fear. It had been so long hearing someone say those words. It had been even longer since she used them herself.
"What're you hungry for?"
Riven blinked, semi snapping out of her little distracted trance and looking down at Irelia. "Uhm..." Riven then looked around at the various food stands around where they stood. The exile suddenly felt rather tall being able to see everything clearly over the crowd. Large billows of steam filled the night air from the merchants cooking. The aroma of the air was pleasant, however, Riven had no idea where to start or what she even wanted to eat and time was short before Irelia had to go back to her duties as Captain soon. "You choose," Riven looked back down to Irelia and smiled, "enlighten me on Ionian festival food." Riven teased with a lighthearted smirked.
Irelia rolled her eyes at Riven's tease and chuckled, "That joke is still awful, you know?"
"I know," Riven bounced her eye brows, "Still gets a smile out of you though."
Irelia shook her head and turned from Riven to look around at the different stands. The gentle elevated beating of her heart invaded her ears for a moment...Riven had more charisma than usual this evening...in a crowded space no less...was she actually improving? Or was this just a strange evening for Riven? Irelia wanted to be convinced of more positive outlooks for the Noxian exile...but she knew better than to let one charismatic evening outweigh the nights of tormenting nightmares she knew Riven still suffered from. Regardless, Irelia was going to let Riven have her moments of peace whenever they came. "I know," Irelia gestured Riven to follow her.
Riven raised a snowy brow as she followed Irelia to a stand. She watched quietly as Irelia pointed at what looked to be steamed buns while speaking to the vendor in her native language. Riven had no idea what Irelia was saying or ordering but interjected when Irelia was pulling out coins to pay. "Ah, let me," Riven set her hand over Irelia's to stop her from paying as she pulled coins of her own out from her leather pouch on her hip.
"Riven, you don't have t-
"I want to," Riven insisted and handed money to the merchant after she handed the ordered food to Irelia.
A slight look of shock took over the merchants face as she watched Riven lead Irelia away from the booth, the thick Noxian accent thanking her before departing.
"Riven... do you know how much you just paid?" Irelia questioned as she felt almost being pushed by Riven through the crowd.
Riven didn't say anything, she could feel her patience with the atmosphere starting to dissipate and she just wanted to get out of the crowd. The exile continued to drive the captain away from the crowds and finally stopped when she felt comfortable again. Riven took a deep breath and sat down quietly on the curb of the street.
"I get it," Irelia commented softly and sat down next to Riven. She reached into the bag and pulled out a warm bun and offered it to Riven, "your patience with the crowds was wearing thin, wasn't it?" Irelia's expression was gentle and understanding as she continued to offer Riven the food she'd ordered for them both.
"A bit..." Riven sighed, "I'm so-
"Don't say it," Irelia interrupted, "You reached your limit and need to recharge, I understand."
Riven quietly nodded and accepted the offered food from the captain. The bun was warm in her hand as she observed it quietly, trying to assimilate what exactly she was about to consume. Riven tilted her head slightly still looking at it as Irelia began to quietly eat one of her own. The exile slowly took a bite, being caught off guard by the filling within the bun. It was...delicious. The soft bread of the bun seemed to melt away in her mouth as she chewed. It was sort of sweet and the filling was savory with a slight spice to it. A soft chuckle caught her ear as she looked at Irelia while taking another bite of food.
"I figured you'd like it," Irelia smiled, "considering you Noxians and your meat. The filling in the middle is curried chicken."
"It's good," Riven managed to comment with her mouth full.
Irelia shook her head and chuckled, "the best manners as always. By the way, you do realize you paid for like ten of these, right?"
Riven shrugged her shoulders as she continued to eat, "I never cashed in on my influence account until right before we left for here."
"You're kidding...as an Institute representative champion?" Irelia responded, semi aghast by the comment.
Riven nodded, still just enjoying the food Irelia had picked out for her.
"That...is a lot of currency," Irelia shook her head.
The exile shrugged again, "what good is currency if it just leads to material things? I didn't have many as a child, a soldier or even now, so I don't really don't see a big deal in it all."
Irelia smiled, "well I am sure that family who made your food is grateful for your generosity tonight, Riven."
Riven froze while in the middle of chewing another bite of food as she felt the gentle brush of soft lips press against the side of her throat for a short moment. Crimson amber eyes flicked to the captain as Irelia casually sat back after pressing a soft kiss against her neck and continued to eat. After a moment, Riven finally swallowed the semi chewed bite and coughed, realizing she didn't actually finish chewing.
"You alright?"
"Fine!" Riven managed to wheeze through her coughing, "wrong pipe!"
Irelia chuckled and shook her head, taking another bite of her own bun.
Riven hit her fist against her own chest as she continued to cough. Once she caught her breath and her coughing settled Riven looked back at Irelia, who was contently enjoying her food with her eyes closed. Tanned fingers softly touched where the captain had kissed her neck and she looked around. How sneaky of her to do that to Riven, even if it was a reward out of Riven's misunderstanding of how much she owed for their dinner. As much as she wanted to get Irelia back for it, she would save that for later. "So...these scrolls you mentioned earlier," Riven commented.
"Ah! Yes, that reminds me," Irelia said as she finished up her last bite of food and reached into another bag, pulling out two scrolled sheets of paper and two pallets of ink.
"When did you?"
"I grabbed them while you seemed distracted by the crowd," Irelia smiled and set a scroll before Riven. "So, like I said earlier, this tradition is as old as the festival itself. It is one of the many reasons we call this the Festival of Fire. You see, every year thousands of scrolls will be hung from the massive tree in the center of the city by people from all around. Each scroll contains confessions, or problems or anything negative the owner wants to be free from. Then, at the end of the festival, a summoner will light the scrolls ablaze, and the fire will consume the scrolls and burn away the owners woes."
"So, it's like a cleansing?" Riven asked.
Irelia nodded, "precisely." The captain quietly opened the two pallets of ink, one black and one red. She dipped the brush into the black ink and silently started to write.
Riven quietly watched Irelia mark her scroll. Her handwriting was beautiful...then again, the Ionian language was beautiful in general, but Irelia's was definitely well practiced. The exile wondered what problems or concerned the captain would wish herself to be rid of before looking down at the blank scroll of her own laying before her.
Irelia blinked as she watched Riven silently remove the bandages back from her hands, semi exposing the chemical burn upon her left hand. She raised an eyebrow as Riven dipped her brush into the pallet of red ink and began to run it over the palms and fingers of each hand. Riven pressed each hand down onto the bottom of the scroll, leaving behind a red hand print upon the surface. The exile then dipped a single finger into the pallet of black in and began to paint Noxian words above the blood red hand prints.
Riven sighed softly as she finished painting the words in her native language and wiped her hands clean in a cloth while looking over the scroll. She softly picked the scroll up and held it up to get a better look. Excess ink from the hand prints slightly trickled from the base of the palms and down the sheet.
The scroll looked ominous... it looked like it truly belonged to a tortured soul.
Irelia looked at Riven before looking back at the message painted in Noxian words. "What does it say...?"
"Burdens of the past."