o O o

Steven watched Sam disappear down the hall, noting the click of the door that could only be Spencer's. He sat down with a sigh, forced to accept what was patently obvious. With his hands resting on his knees, he asked resignedly, "She's really the one then? I'm not unhappy to see you make some kind of commitment – it's high time you did. But she's so YOUNG Spencer; I have to question whether it's wise."

"Dad, you just stood here and admitted to doing the same thing –"

The Colonel held up a hand. "It was NOT the same thing. I will agree that there are parallels, but –

"Oh RIGHT. It's not the same thing," Spencer interrupted sarcastically. "Sam's not pregnant."

"Keep it that way." His voice was sharp. "And that's not the point I'm trying to make here. Well, it is, and it isn't. Yes, your mother was pregnant. I did what was right. This is not the way our lives would have progressed in other circumstances. I would have let her finish school. I would have made sure she had the opportunity to choose her own way. Of course, I would have hoped that she still chose me. There is no doubt in my mind that she was the only one for me, but how could she ever really know that I was the only one for her? She didn't have that chance. "

Spencer stared at his father incredulously. "Surely you don't believe that Dad. Mom absolutely had a choice. She didn't have to marry you. You said she wasn't going to marry you. But you proved to her that you could be the man she wanted you to be. Even after she married you, she didn't have to stay. You were gone a lot even then. There are a lot of women who couldn't or wouldn't live like that. Mom was a strong-minded woman. Sam is very like her in that respect. Mom wouldn't have been with you if she didn't want to be. She didn't leave you Dad. She loved you. I understand – I ACCEPT that people change. I hope that Sam and I change in the same direction. Is it possible that we'll change in different directions? Yes, it's possible. I've known that from the beginning, but that's a risk that any two people take."

Tapping a finger, the Colonel took a breath but was silenced by a look from his father. "Let it go Steven," Granddad said gently. "This isn't about Noelle. You understand that don't you? "

Carly had been so quiet they'd almost forgotten she was there. Sniffling audibly she moved to sit next to her father, resting her head against his chest. "I miss her too Daddy. I miss her so much. Some days there are things I really want to tell her, and I hope she can hear me. So I tell her anyway. But I can't hear what she says back Daddy, no matter how hard I try..." Her voice dissolved into silent tears and Steven could do nothing but close his arm around her and let her cry.

"I know Baby. I know." When he raised his head to answer his father, a decade fell away and the pain was still raw and fresh in his eyes. "Maybe if she'd chosen differently, she'd still be here. Maybe some other man, some man who was home, would have found the lump sooner. Maybe then –"

"STOP Son, you know that's not true. I know it kills you that you couldn't save her, but –"

"How do you think I felt when I lost her? Lost her to an enemy that I couldn't see and couldn't fight? Relying on doctors and drug cocktails and how was I to know if they were really doing the best they could to save her? I loved her but I couldn't SAVE her. "

"You couldn't. But neither could anyone else have done Steven. In your heart you know that. None of us were ready to let her go - I know there are still times that it seems like just yesterday. But Noelle did not want you, or any of us, to stop living our lives. Your son is giving you a gift here – he's taking a step to move forward, to imagine a future that celebrates life and love – the legacy that Noelle left to your children. And to you, if you'll only accept it."

Sam hesitated, poised to enter the room that radiated an emotionally charged silence. Minutes ago things had seemed under control. SOMETHING had happened, but without knowing what that something was, she was unsure how to proceed. Drawn inexorably to Spencer, she rested her hand lightly in the crook of his arm.

Spencer covered Sam's hand with his own. "We were just talking about Mom," he explained quietly.

"Ah," she nodded. She started tentatively, not sure how she could make this better but determined to try. "Colonel Shay, I'm really sorry… that I never had the chance to meet Noelle. I've imagined what she must have been like, but I feel like I should know her better." Glancing again at the ring on her finger, she continued "Do you think that maybe one day you could tell me – tell US, some more stories about her?"

Carly raised her head in alarm, gazing wide-eyed at Sam. Spencer wrapped his arms around her reassuringly and Granddad looked on, keenly interested as the Colonel slowly focused his attention on the pair. Several seconds passed and Sam began to worry that she'd made a terrible mistake.

"Do I think I could tell you…more stories about Noelle?" he repeated musingly. "Do I think…" falling silent, he closed his eyes, conjuring her image in his mind. He could almost hear her, the gentle chiding tone she employed when his hard-headed inflexibility blinded him to something that she very much wanted him to see.

"Colonel Shay, I'm sorry – I didn't mean –"

Steven waved his hand in Sam's general direction and a shuddering sigh escaped. "I think…maybe I could do that." He seemed surprised by his own answer, a bemused expression crossing his face.

Carly lit up as only Carly could, hugging her father tightly. Granddad nodded approvingly as Spencer spoke for them. "I think we would ALL like that Dad."

Sam nodded vigorously. "Oh yes sir, we would!"

Steven managed a lopsided smile that reminded her so much of Spencer that she immediately smiled in return – a bright, genuine smile born of a gladness of heart that asked for nothing in return.

Absently stroking Carly's hair, he did offer something in return. "Sam?"

"Yes, sir?"

There was another small sigh, but Steven held onto his crooked smile. "Just… call me Dad."