I own nothing.
I present: The Odyssey
Fem Japan-Sakura
Telemachus-Snickerdoodle McFluffycins
Ships: Giripan
We live in a land of no fairy tales or magic. And this meeting seemed like an eternal cage of torture for the poor countries. America looked around and saw that everyone had a blank stare and in Greece's case, drool coming out of his mouth. Not that America liked to pry, but he did wonder what the Greek man dreamed about.
He raised his hand.
"Yes America." Germany snapped. He was not happy with his presentation being interrupted.
"We are all dying here of boredom. So I propose that we do something fun. We could all go to the beach cause it's hot as hell outside or," he smiled mischievously. "I can call Tony and he can bring some alien equipment and we can see what Greece dreams about."
"Fine. Let's put it to a vote. Beach trip?"
No hands.
"Watching Greece's dreams."
Every single hand shot up.
"Alright then. I'll call Tony. Russia my man, get the snacks. This is going to be good!" America skipped out of the meeting just as Prussia ran in with pillows and a blanket.
...
Heracles stood upon the cliff and watched as the ships pulled into harbor. This cannot be good.
...
'Hey, he's wearing a toga!'
'SSSHHHHH!'
...
He made his way to the docks to see what those foolish Kings wanted. King Alfred and King Matthew greeted him.
"What is wrong my Kings?"
"We are at war with Troy. My wife Alice has run off with Francis of Troy. We have Ludwig, the greatest of the Greeks so there is no way that we can lose this battle."
...
'Ohhhhhhhhhhhh!'
'It's not like that!'
'England, I never knew that you were willing to leave your husband for me."
'I would never treat you like that.'
'Thank you Russia.'
...
"My wife had just given birth. I cannot leave her."
"You are bond by honor to uphold the marriage between Alice and I. You will come with us even if I have drag you there myself."
And they went. The battle was long and bloody. It wasn't until little Feliciano died that Ludwig snapped and killed every Trojan in his path.
...
Germany and Romano gripped their little Italian.
...
The battle ended when they built a wooden horse and attacked the city from the inside.
But that was just the prologue. This is where the dream got interesting...
Greece stood on his ship and then gave a very long and motivational speech.
"...But never shall we forget the women we left behind. Onwards to Ithaca and to our wives and kittens!"
The cats that were not hissing at the water were taking a nap in the sun or staring at a fly.
Heracles sailed on and didn't mind that his crew were cats. He saw an island in the distance and said to his first mate. "Squickers, see that island on the horizon? That is where we restock our supplies."
Squickers didn't care. Squickers was asleep on the helm.
Heracles docked the boat and held a grey ragdoll by the name of Otto von Biscat and some cats jumped off the ship and went over to a plant and started rolling and purring.
"Those cats are strange. It's as if there was a spell placed upon them Otto von Biscat."
Then the goddess of war and wisdom appeared wearing cat ears.
...
'Hungary, you look lovely.'
'Why thank you Austria.'
'Is that blood on your shield?'
...
"This is the land of the Catnip eaters! Flea this island Heracles!"
"My guardian is right. We must leave before we lose any more of our crew!"
Heracles sailed away and mourned the loss of the cats.
It wasn't long before he reached the Cyclops-
...
'Why aM I the cyclops?'
'Quiet Turkey!"
...
Heracles docked the ship and met the cyclops. It wasn't a good meeting because he picked up one of the cats and the cat scratched his eye.
Heracles sailed away before the cyclops could cause any damage to his cats.
On the other side of the world, Sakura was raising Snickerdoodle McFluffykins all by herself.
...
'Japan is Penelope!'
...
Just then a large mainecoon cat with glasses like markings under its eyes came in and meowed loudly.
"Yes Americat?"
"Meow meow."
"What do you mean that suitors are coming? My husband is not dead!"
"Meow."
"I understand. Watch Snickerdoodle for me. I'll try to send them away."
...
'Well that was adorable.'
'SHUT UP!'
...
Soon after Heracles made his heroic escape from the cyclops, he and his brave crew came upon an island that looked friendly enough. Most of the cats jumped over and were quickly scooped up and taken captive by the worst monster and most feared creature to the noble cat: children.
There was no way for our brave hero to save his crew. The brave cats were now the children's.
They sailed on until they came to the Island of Natalya. She was a renowned sorceress that turned men into animals.
"TREMBLE BEFORE MY POWER! YOU ARE YOUR CREW are cats? Why is your crew cats!?" The sorceress demanded.
"They make good company. Beautiful sorceress, I need directions to get home to my wife. Will you help me?"
"Whatever. I will only say this once so listen carefully, you will first past the Sirens so you must plug your ears. I don't know what effect they will have on your cats. Then you will have to choose between Lucille or Anichka. Then, unless you pissed someone off you won't have to visit Michelle. I restocked your supplies. Godspeed."
The order of disasters went as follows: the cats were lured to the three beautiful sirens with catnip.
...
'Taiwan, Vietnam, and Belgium I am both amazed by you and slightly terrified.'
'Be afraid.'
...
Lucille picked up six of Heracles's cats and the worst part of it was that they purred for her! Then Anichka wanted some of the kitties so she took the rest.
Heracles was all alone. No cats. A leaky ship.
Heracles had no idea when he went to sleep but he woke up on a tropical island.
"Hello I am Michelle!" A very happy girl with brown pigtails and a blue dress said.
"I am Heracles. Do you have a ship so I can get back to my wife?"
"No. Only the help of a god or goddess can help you off this island. Want to play poker?"
"Sure."
After about a week with Michelle and both loosing at poker, Elizaveta came with a boat for Heracles.
"Goodbye! Have a safe trip home to Sakura!" They both waved at each other and parted ways.
"Heracles, you must not waste any time getting home! Dogs have started to come for your wife!"
"Not the dogs!"
"German Shepherd, Poodles, Scottish terriers. Every type of dog!"
"My poor wife and cats!"
"Indeed. When you get home, go to the market and buy bacon. Then lure the dogs away from your house. That is the only way to be rid of them."
"Thank you Lady Elizaveta."
When Heracles made it back to Ithaca, he went straight for the market and bought all the bacon. He threw it into the woods and never saw the dogs again. He reunited with his wife and cat-son and was happy to the rest of his days.
...
"Well that was an interesting dream." Greece mumbled when he woke up in an empty meeting room.
Next: Lady and the Tramp-Pruhun
Request are welcomed with open arms and a free puppy.