here's something I wrote while I was supposed to do my Math homework, not my fault it's so boring, right?
18. there's more than you'd think
"go away" please don't say no, please just walk away, don't anger me. Don't give me a reason to get mad
"no" God fucking dammit, she just had to didn't she. Why would something ever go the way I want it to.
"I said, go away!" I growl with an unnecessary high amount of venom laced in my voice, my hands are starting to itch and i do everything in my power to keep my calm but it's not easy, it never was for me.
"no" seriously, again!?
"please go away, I don't want to hurt you" my whole body is heating up now
"I can help"
"you can't help me, you don't know me" I thought she was different, that she didn't want to change me but it turns out I was wrong. I look her in the eye as flames erupt from my hands, they lick my skin and it feels nice and cool, it feels familiar. I missed this, I close my eyes briefly and enjoy the feeling of fire in my blood. When I look at her again i know she can see the flames in my eyes, as they are no longer dark blue but bright red. She's scared, but still not walking away
"that's because you won't let me! You never let anyone in. You claim you love me but you don't trust me enough to tell me stuff like that" she gestures to my hands, well, the flames on my hands "not everyone is out to hurt you. I love you for you and I don't need you to change. I need you to talk to me and let me in because I'm not going anywhere" I have to admit it's tempting, she picked met up when I was on the ground, in thousands of pieces and she slowly put me back together. I look down at my hands and watch the flames grow smaller and smaller until they eventually die, just like the anger inside me.
"sorry, I'm so sorry. I don't even deserve you, why are you still here, anyone would've walked out on me and anyone should"
she puts her hand on my cheek and I lean into her touch "I'm still here because I love you and I don't understand why you're alway putting yourself down like that"
"because I'm an outcast, I'm not from here. I was banished from my world and sent to live in this one, for thousands of years! I wanted to die but with my kind it's that we can't die unless our whole being wants to, and for some damn reason I was never ready to give up just yet. So I kept going, I kept fighting. Here I'm a freak, a labrat, but at home I was special. Those who were able to manipulate something as strong as fire must be strong themselves, nobody choose to get their abilities. I just happened to get mine and since I am from a poor family, many others were jealous, they convinced our king I had commited a murder. Punishment, being banished. I got here a couple of hundred years before Christ and have lived ever since, I was a gladiator in the Roman Empire. I was a knight in king Arthur's army and the Germans have tried to burn me to ash in the second world war. As you can probably guess I have a lot of knowledge on humans, I've met most of your kind and I see lots of similarities but there are some major differences. Trust is so easily broken here, faithfulness means nothing, friendship is not holy and the words I love you are so often miss used. Every time I found a friend or a loved one, that person betrayed me, and for what reason? Because it was better for them. Where I'm from family is holy, friendship is for life, a promise is never broken and you only speak of love when you really mean it. So I apoligize for not putting all of me on the table right away, but never doubt the fact that I love you" Never in a million years had she expected this answer so it takes her a moment to process it, not that she's freaked out or anything like that because when she looks at me, I see nothing but love in her eyes.
"I won't leave, I promise. Thank you for telling me"
It sounds so sweet, and for now, I'd like to believe her.