Authors Note : Ah, feels good to be writing again! Yes, I know… I killed Sirius. I had to reply that again in my mind when I read it for the first time with J.K Rowling. I honestly couldn't see myself keeping him alive, it's such an important part of the story that he does die, because it also effects what happens to Harry. That's just my logic on it. I am truly sorry for having to kill Sirius… Again…
The sun beamed on my face, and all that could be heard was the wind in the trees. I sat upside down with my legs hanging over the top part of a wicker love seat in the front of my mother's cabin. It's been a week since Sirius' death and yet I felt in my heart that it happened only moments ago. Sunglasses hid my puffy, red eyes. I think I finally cried myself out. No one disturbed Reia and me here. Mostly because I think no one besides us and Dumbledore know where this place is. Dumbledore probably didn't come visit me because he wanted to give me some time before he fires me for punching a student in the face.
I felt small tugging at my hair that draped down from the loveseat. I tilted my head farther back and saw a little orange and white paw swatting at my hair.
"Chance, my hair isn't a toy." I mumbled.
He ignored my comment and continued swatting at my hair.
"KNOCK IT OFF!" I yelled as I sat up.
Chance's eyes widened and he quickly darted back into the cabin. I sighed and sat up on the loveseat the right way up. I covered my face with my hands.
"How have I become so angry?" I asked myself aloud.
"I don't know, but you're going to have to deal with that." Reia replied as she sat beside me.
I leaned on her shoulder with my face still buried in my hands.
"Do I have to?" I whined.
"I know it feels good, but going around punching people in the face isn't a solution to your problems." Reia replied.
"I don't know what to do." I confessed to her as I lowered my hands from my face.
"You don't have to right now." Reia said as she grabbed my hand.
"I'm just waiting for you to just tell me this is all a big joke." I commented.
"I'm sorry Kate, but it actually happened." Reia replied quietly.
I listened to the breeze hitting the leaves in the trees for a moment.
"Will this pain ever go away?" I asked Reia.
"Do you want my bullshit hippie answer or do you want me to make you feel better?" Reia asked.
"I just want you to make me feel better." I replied.
"Yes, this pain will go away someday." Reia said.
"Fantastic…"
The next couple of days, the pain still remained in my heart, but there started to become moments in day where the pain would lift slightly and for a perfect moment… I would think of something else besides my dead father. That something else of course being Severus. I wanted to see him, to tell him I was sorry for the way I acted, but something held me back inside. Something telling me I needed more time.
"Kate we need to talk." Reia said as he sat next to me on my bed.
"What's up?" I asked as I slightly lifted my head up.
"I'm only telling you this because I'm your friend and because I love you." Reia added.
"What!" I pushed impatiently.
"You… smell. You need to bathe Kate, it's been almost two weeks!" Reia exclaimed.
"It's not that bad!" I mumbled as I crossed my arms.
"Are you kidding me? You're attracting wildlife because they think something is dying in here! I just had to chase away a bear and three deer!" Reia said.
I lifted my arm slightly a sniffed my armpit. I scrunched up my face and quickly lowered my arm.
"Okay, I see your point." I said sitting up. "I'll head to the lake to bathe."
"Thank you." Reia said as she quickly stood up from the bed, to avoid touching me.
"I'm smelly, not infectious!" I snapped.
"With the way you smell, I'm not taking any chances." Reia smirked as she strode out of the room.
Reia didn't come with me to the Lake. She said she wanted to open all the windows and doors to try and air out the cabin.
I walked on the well-packed trail down to the lake with a towel over my shoulder. The sun hitting the water made it looked like it was made of a million diamonds. I removed my clothes and placed them in a pile near the shore of the lake. I slowly walked into the water, the cool water feeling nice against my warm skin. I waded deeper and deeper, the cool water slipping up my legs and up my hips. I threw myself forward in a dive, cooling the rest of myself. I gasped for a breath of air as my head broke the surface of the lake. I swam further out towards the middle of the lake. I floated onto my back, looking up at the clouds and the blue sky.
How did everything fall apart so quickly? One day I had Severus and Sirius and the next, my father dies and I actually question Snape's love for me.
I watched the clouds drift softly across the sky.
"What else could go wrong?" I said as I yawned.
Just drifting in the water was so relaxing, so calming… I could almost take a nap right here in the middle of the lake.
My heart started beating faster and harder. I grabbed for my chain around my neck. I pulled up the wet chain and a shinnying green gem that was attached.
"Fuck!"
I quickly started swimming back towards the shore. My eye lids slowly feeling heavier and heavier. I was growing weak, but the shore was close. I just kept pushing myself, keeping myself awake. The water, the sky… started to turn fuzzy and dark.
Please, I just need to make it too the shore…
I felt my foot hit land. I slowly started wading out of the water, but the resistance was making it difficult. Just stay awake, just a while longer. I fell to my knees when I hit the shore. The moist sand sticking to my wet skin. I collapsed. I tried to pull myself out of the water, just a little bit more… I slowly closed my eyes and rested my head on the wet sand. I felt the cool water lightly splash over my naked body, but missing my face. I smirked as stopped resisting my dream.
I opened my eyes. I wasn't on the beach anymore. Instead I was on a hard, cold stone floor. I slowly pushed myself up off the ground. I looked down at myself, and I was still naked.
"Shit." I said to myself and I looked around.
I saw red curtains hanging from a window. I covered myself up the best I could with my arms as I quickly tugged the curtains down and wrapped myself up in them.
"Now, where the hell am I?" I asked to myself.
I heard heavy foot steps behind me. I looked around for somewhere to hide, but I was trapped in a hallway. A large figure in a shiny grey suit of armour stopped at the end of the hallway.
"Shit…" I mumbled to myself.
The suit of armour slowly withdrew his sword and slowly started walking towards me.
"I'm sorry, I'm just… lost." I said in a panicky voice.
I slowly started backing up from it, until my back hit the wall. He lifted his sword as he got closer to me. I felt the sharp tip at my neck as he stopped a couple of steps in front of me. I held my breath as I waited for him to jab his sword into my throat. I was confused when he still didn't move.
"Are you going to kill me?" I barely managed to say.
"Do you want to die?" A dark voice said from under suit of armor's mask.
"No." I whispered.
"Are you sure?" It questioned.
Sirius is dead… You don't have any other family, except Reia. But for how much longer? She has to go back to work… and if she ever settles down with a guy, she won't stay with me forever. Severus… Well, I'm still not sure if it's me he actually loves or I'm just filling the place of Lily Potter, Harry's mom…
Tears streamed down my face. How could I even be thinking about this!
"I don't want to die." I said quietly.
"Say it louder." The voice snapped.
"I don't want to die!" I screamed, as more tears rolled down my face.
He lowered his sword.
"Follow me." He demanded as he turned around and started walking back the way he entered.
I was still in shock about even a single thought of me actually thinking about wanting to die. It took me a few moments to actually move my legs in order to follow him. I followed him a short ways down a corridor and in front of a door.
"Enter." He said as he put his sword back into his holster and stood aside to let me enter through the door.
I turned the door knob and pushed the door open. A man in white robes was turned away from me.
"Close the door behind you Kate." The man's voice said.
I did as I was told and closed the door. The man turned around, and I saw a familiar face. The Oracle.
"It's been awhile Kate." He said smiling.
"I suppose." I mumbled.
"I'm sorry to hear about your father, Kate." He said in a sympathetic voice.
"I suppose you couldn't see that coming?" I mocked.
"It's not like I can see your whole future Kate, It comes in as bits and pieces. This is why I'm here now." He said walking towards me.
"Oh great, is my cat going to die next?" I asked sarcastically.
"No Kate, it's something else." He replied.
"What is it then?" I asked.
"Remember when I told you that you're going to have to make the Dark Lord fall in love with you?" He asked
I shivered a little.
"Yes." I replied quietly.
"I saw another vision. Adding on it this one." He said.
"Fantastic. I would love to hear what else I get to do, to make my life even more miserable." I said frustrated.
"Kate, your efforts will go rewarded." He assured me.
"How? My dad's going to come back to life? Snape's going to admit he loves me for me? My Cat is going to become less annoying? I don't see how the universe is going to reward me for having to make that monster fall in love with me."
The Oracle was silent.
"I don't know how much more I can take." I admitted to him.
"I know, that's why I tested you before having you come in." He replied.
"I thought about it… dying." I told him.
"What made you think differently?" He asked.
I took a moment before saying it.
"Severus." I whispered.
"Ah, Yes… Severus Snape. Potion's master at Hogwarts, Head of the Slytherin House, and Love of your life…" He smirked.
"I'm not too sure about that anymore…" I replied.
"Are you sure Kate?" He asked me, "I think you've known this whole time."
"Known what?" I asked confusingly.
"That he loved you this whole time." He smirked.
"I told you, I don't know if he does." I argued.
"Who are you trying to fool here Kate? Why are you pushing him away?" He asked me.
"You're the Oracle, why don't you tell me?" I asked bitterly.
"I think you're pushing him away because you're afraid Kate." The Oracle said.
"Afraid of what?"I asked.
He didn't tell me.
"What am I afraid of?" I asked again impatiently.
"Tell me Kate, What is your fear?" He said.
"I don't know!" I yelled at him."
"You do know, Kate."
"I don't!" I shouted back.
"Tell me Kate. Tell me what you're so afraid of!" He pushed.
"Giving my whole heart to him and then losing him!" I hollered.
I fell to my knees. I didn't know that's what I was afraid of until just now. The Oracle kneeled down in front of me.
"We don't have much time left and I need you to hear this." He explained to me.
I slowly nodded my head.
"When the time is right, you're going to have to wipe Severus Snape's memory of you two." He said to me.
I looked up at him and into his eyes. His crystal blue eyes haunted me.
"What?" I said.
"You can't be with him, if you're trying to seduce the Dark Lord. He will either get too jealous and try to kill the Dark Lord, but end up getting killed himself, or two will slip up and he will catch you together and kill you both."
"So, I'm just supposed to make him forget about me?" I asked.
"I'm afraid so." He said.
My eyes lids started to become heavy.
"He's a powerful wizard, it will never work." I yawned.
"Practice Kate, You're a powerful witch." He smirked as I slowly lowered myself to the ground.
"Oracle." I mumbled.
"Yes Kate." He replied as he gently brushed my hair from my face.
"Will I get Severus back after the Dark Lord is destroyed?" I asked as I closed my eyes.
I heard muffled words, nothing I could make out.
I felt myself slip away from the dream world, and back to the wet sand… the light breeze and a world without answers.