In the Head of the Snake
Chapter 2: Memories
Snape had tested the mead on a young house elf who was devoted to him since his school years. He never understood why the elf liked him so much, but he never bothered asking – elves were simple creatures after all.
He lay awake and stared at the roof of his room. It was quiet here, in his special room. He could hear nothing of the school around him. He was in silence. He was alone. His arm twinged.
What was he thinking? Every night, he climbed the stairs to the top of the hidden tower and hid himself from the world, but there was one man who was always with him…who never left his left side…
Why had he been so foolish? To join a gang! What a foolish, childish, immature thing to do! Then Snape stopped his thoughts – the boy was doing exactly that. He had formed a gang. Snape had seen it in his mind. The boy was doing relatively well teaching the others. Snape smirked as the word "impressed" entered his mind. But then…what would Lily have said to this sudden turn in events? Yes, the boy was famous. But that was for events that he had had no control over. A twang of guilt hit him. He, Severus Snape, had had the control over those events. And he had lost that control. Lily's sweet visage appeared before him, her green eyes sparkling with a smile across her face. Angry, Severus yelled incoherently. What must he do to rid himself of his own past?
He saw the boy. Harry Potter. Once more, why was Severus not the boy's godfather? Why had Lily not fought on his behalf?
Because she didn't trust him.
The simple answer was enough to crush Secerus into a deep depression. He needed sleep. He needed to get away from his life.
Getting up from his bed, he made his way to a small cabinet. Crushing together some honey-weed and dung beetles, he hummed to himself.
The song was one that Lily had sung to him. She had made it up one summer's holiday while the two swung gaily on the swings.
"Don't stop singing," Severus had said. "Ever."
"Why?" asked the girl.
"You always smile when you sing," blushing, he added, "and you're pretty when you smile."
"You think so?" she had asked.
Oh how innocent she was. How absolutely and completely pure.
He sprinkled the now white-powder into a cup and added a few pre-prepared ingredients. He had his night-time watch in two hours time. Thinking very hard about the time period of two hours, he poured in a few drops of a milky liquid. The mixture of ingredients turned blue and hissed. He added some water to the concentrate and some mint leaves to dull the taste.
Back in his bed, he drank the liquid quickly and then sighed into sleep.
"Hey! Severus! Hurry up we're going to be late!" Lily was laughing as she ran through tall grass, Severus running after her.
"I don't – think – that this – is a – good – idea, Lily," Severus panted behind her. Boy could she run fast!
"Why not?" she stopped in her tracks and Snape banged into her. They fell, but Snape moved Lily quickly on top of him.
"Are you ok?" he said immediately.
She looked at herself unnecessarily.
"All in tact!" she rolled over onto the grass next to him and laughed. No one laughed as much as Lily did.
"But why don't you want to come for supper with my parents?"
"I just don't think…you know? You're sister? She doesn't like me there. And her stupid muggle tricks are stupid, but they are getting more dangerous."
"Oh please, she won't hurt you! Not while I'm around!"
"You won't always be around…" said Snape softly, but Lily hadn't heard. She had jumped up and started running again.
"Come on Sev! No more dawdling!"
He got up and brushed himself down before proceeding at a fast walk after Lily. He needed to spend as much time with her as possible. She was taking her parents on a trip of Diagon Alley in just a few short days, and she was bound to meet him there.
And no doubt Lily would spend her time with him. Eating ice-cream. And zooming around on his broom. And doing all of those things with her that Severus could never do. Not just because of the money. It was also because of something far greater that he could see blooming in Lily's eyes.
She may say that she hated him, but James was not one to give up, and, as stubborn as Lily was, she didn't understand James's determination.
It was equal only to Snape's own.
There was a polite knock on Snape's mind, and his eyes opened.
He was in his bed once again, staring at the ceiling of his secret room. Shaking his head from the memory he had just dreamt of, he put on his black robe and moved towards the door. It was time for his night-time stroll. Best to check on the boy.