When Caitlin returned home at half past seven, the apartment was empty. She was at the same time relieved and disappointed.
She put her stuff away and was about to take out the leftovers to heat up, when she heard the door open.
Al walked sheepishly into the kitchen. He wasn't sorry about what he had done in regards to Hank and Meredith but he was sorry about what he had done to Caitlin. She wasn't responsible for their masquerade and their coup.
"I thought you might be tired, so I went to buy some tacos", he said quietly.
She put the leftovers back in the fridge and looked at him. "If this is your apology, it sucks", she said flat out.
He put the bag carrying the tacos on the kitchen counter and passed a hand over his mustache.
"You're right". He cautiously took a step towards her. "Cat, I'm sorry about leaving you last night and not returning your calls. I'm sorry I went out drinking and came back in the state that I was".
She crossed her arms, indicating clearly that she didn't want him near her and he understood that he had gone too far. The look in her face, resembled the one she had when Hank had hurt her by pushing her away from Antonio's case. Now, he too, had let her down and he had promised himself he would never do that.
"That's it"?
"Yeah, that's it. I was angry. I have always done right by Meredith, always been honest with her, even when it was about you and me… and to think that she didn't have the decency to tell me. And let's not even talk about Hank"!
She shook her head and walked over to the living room.
"Don't walk away from me Cat! I have a right to be mad"!
In her stride, she turned around harshly. "Why? What difference is there between us and them"?
"You're his niece and she's my wife"!
The minute the words came out of his mouth he regretted it as he watched Caitlin's facial expression change from anger to a mix of shock and heart retching pain.
"It's not what I meant". He brought it down a notch in his tone. "You can't understand".
Tears rolled down her eyes. "No, you're right. How could I? I was married for only a minute. Do you still love her"?
He said nothing as he witnessed her coming apart.
"You know what? Don't answer that. I know the answer. So, since she wouldn't have you anymore, I was there. I was the stand-in. I'm the one you love by default", she said as she desperately tried to brush the tears away from her eyes and cheeks.
It was now his turn to feel pain. This was going totally wrong. He took a step in her direction. "That's not true and you know it".
She took another step away from him. "No. I don't know what's true anymore".
She turned and headed for their bedroom and locked the door. He sat down on the couch. A few minutes later, he heard her lock herself into the bathroom. After another few minutes, she walked into the living room with a duffel bag on her shoulder and headed for the entrance.
He stood panicking. "What are you doing? Where are you going? Cat"?
"I can't be here right now. I love you but not like this, not after this. I wasted many years of my life convincing myself I wasn't good enough for Antonio and when we finally realized that we were meant to be together, he died. I'm not going to make that same mistake. If I have to convince you that you don't love her anymore and that I'm the one that you want to spend the rest of your life with, it's a losing battle. Because I shouldn't have to convince you, you should be convincing me"!
She grabbed the doorknob and opened the door.
"Will you at least tell me where you're going? Are you going to Hank's"?
"No, he'd be too thrilled to rub it into my nose that he had been right all along and that I made a mistake. Don't worry about me, I always land on my feet".
She left the apartment with Alvin standing in the middle of the living room, feeling gutted. He walked lifeless towards the front door and stopped shy of it. He turned and looked at himself in the mirror. In an excess of anger and rage against the reflection of the man who had just let the woman he loved more than he had ever loved another, he punched his fist in the mirror.