I own nothing.
I present: Princess and the Pea
Ships: Rusame
Fem Russia: Anya
Prince Alfred could not sleep which was strange since that was all he wanted to do when his father presented him with future brides. There was the ball, but Felicity ran off and married the King of Hearts and became his Jack. He was engaged to a Lady from Diamonds but she ran off to be a pirate.
"I don't see why I can't just rule without a Queen of Spades. No lady in her right mind would marry me."
"That is not true. Any lady would consider herself fortunate to marry a man like you." Yao assured him.
"Because I'm the king?"
"Because you have a charming personality. And the fact that you are a king does put you above the rest."
Alfred groaned and Yao chuckled at the boy who he thought of as a son.
"It's late and you should go to bed, now move it."
...
The storm kept the King of Spades awake. Not because he was frightened, but because he enjoyed watching the lightning and thunder clash. He enjoyed the rains pounding against his window.
He was feeling a little hungry so he decided to test his guards and sneak down to the kitchen without their knowledge. Every single one of them failed.
"I need better security." He muttered to himself.
"No you don't."
Alfred dropped the knife he was going to use to cut an apple and swore like a sailor.
"WHAT THE F-! HOLY CARDS! Don't do that Matthew!"
The Ace of Spades grinned at his shorter brother. "Midnight snack?"
"Watching storms tend to make one hungry."
"Back to bed before you are assassinated for real."
"Whatever jerk." Alfred tossed the knife at his Ace who caught it with ease.
"You're so mean."
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
Alfred jumped into his brother's arms while Matthew silently screamed for their mother.
...
In another dimension...
England sat upright in bed. "My babies need me!"
"Go back to sleep amour. They're fine." France groaned.
"But America and Canada!"
"Are big boys and their own nations. Now, will you go to sleep or shall I make you?"
"Make me frog!"
...
Alfred grabbed the nearest weapon he could grasp, which was a frying pan because the knife was now on the other side of the kitchen, and advanced towards the back door. Matthew followed with a cast iron skillet.
Matthew took the handle and opened the door while Alfred was posed to swing at an intruder.
The door opened and Alfred saw the most wet and dirty girl in the kingdom. Her hair was tangled and wet. Her clothes were a dirty brown and caked with mud. Her skin looked pale under the lightning. But she had the most gorgeous violet eyes.
Fear was lost in Alfred as he set the pan down and brought her inside. He led her to a chair and gave her the apple that he was going to eat. "You must be hungry. I'll get you some more."
Matthew watched his brother prepare some food for this lost girl. The door was still open and Matthew was still in shock when Yao came into the kitchen claiming that the entire castle was being kept awake.
"What's the problem with you? Shut the door before you let something in." Yao pried Matthew's fingers and locked the door shut. "Now, what are you staring at?"
Matthew pointed and Yao looked. There was the King, serving a plate of something to a very dirty, very strange, young woman. He was smiling and speaking with her. She was smiling and speaking back. Weird.
"Never seen a girl before?" Yao joked. "Good evening m'lady, might we know the name by which you are called?"
"Anya Braginskaya. I'm a Queen."
"Sure you are." Yao muttered. "Well, if your highness will come with me, I'll get someone to clean you up and treat you like the Queen you are."
He offered his hand but Anya stared at it. She looked to Alfred and he nearly melted under her puppy eyes.
"Would you be more comfortable if I went with you? To find a woman to help you I mean."
"I'd appreciate that. Thank you."
Alfred offered his arm and Anya took it. Yao followed them flabbergasted.
Matthew still tried to process what just happened.
Meanwhile, Yao had forced the King to go to bed or else he'll make a mockery of Spades at the next Gathering of Kings which was tomorrow. The maid servant that was selected to assist Anya ran to Yao after she was asleep.
"She is a Queen. She's a Queen of Spades and there's more. She has the Clubs mark of the King! How can someone be a Queen of one Kingdom and King of another?" She freaked out.
"Tiina, it is late and you need your rest. But there is a test to learn that she is a true Queen of Spades." Yao knocked on the door and Anya greeted him with an aura of death.
"B-breakfast is promptly at seven tomorrow morning. Here is a clock to wake you up." Yao thrusted a small silver and blue clock in her hands.
Tick. Tick.
Anya didn't care that she had a clock in her hands. She just wanted to go back to sleep.
Tick. Tick.
She was exhausted so she could sleep through the ticking.
Tick. Tick.
"UGNNNHHN!" Anya tossed the clock across the room. Maybe it was broken.
Tick. Tick.
"Damn it!" She cried and took her pillow and buried her head under it.
Tick. Tick.
"Why won't it stop?" She was staring at the ceiling now. Watching the shadows move and flicker.
Tick. Tick.
Why can't the clock stop ticking?
Tick. Tick.
Slowly, she watched as the morning chased the night's shadows away and the cursed clock kept ticking.
Tick. Tick.
Sleep was elusive so she might as well get dressed for the day. She found the dress the nice girl picked out last night and put it on. Anya looked elegant in the light and dark blues of the Spades. Her silver hair contrasted against the colors in a lovely way.
Tick. Tick.
"Why did Spades have to be the kingdom with clocks?"
She picked it up. And looked it over. He it was not bent or broken from when she threw it. In fact, it looked brand new. Yet broken. It ticked but it the hands were at twelve and barely moving.
Tick. Tick.
The second hand worked just fine.
Tick. Tick.
Knock. Knock.
The maid from last night came in. Her blonde hair was held back by a light blue headband. Her name was...Tina?
"Oh. You're up a-and dressed. M'lady, you didn't have to do that yourself." Her voice was like a motherly tone that Anya never heard before.
"I couldn't sleep so I figured doing something was better than nothing."
"Why couldn't you sleep?"
She blinked. "Do you not hear the ticking?"
Tina looked at her in confusion but then her eyes wondered to the clock in her hands. Her purple eyes widened in shock and then anger.
"I'm going to smack that idiot Jack of Spades the next time I see him. I am so sorry my Queen." Tina knelt. "That is no way to treat a lady let alone the Queen." She stood up, grabbed Anya's hand, and stormed out of the bedroom so fast Anya had to hold up the skirts of her dress so she didn't trip.
'I feel like a princess.' She thought.
Tina kicked the door open to the dining room where the King was now carrying the Ace in his arms like a baby and the Jack on his back waving a fork as a weapon.
True to her word, Tina marched up Yao, pulled him off the King's back, and slapped him. Yao was so surprised that he dropped his fork.
"You are an idiot. Why would you give this poor woman the Queen's Clock? I told you she was the Queen! She has the mark and you moron went and gave her the Clock! It's a miracle that she didn't go insane! She hasn't slept in who knows how long and the one chance that she had for a good nights sleep and you screw it up! I'll never know why we have incompetent monarchs in charge this time. And Anya, you look lovely." Tina glared at the three frozen monarchs and marched out.
...
In another dimension...
China woke in a sweat. He had no idea why, but he now had an irrational fear of a small woman by the name of Finland.
America woke up screaming because he was getting married to Russia.
Russia woke up freaking out because she was going to be married to the democratic bastard.
Canada woke because he felt the obligation to give Finland a Mother's Day card suddenly.
Finland woke up because she was hungry. She ate some leftovers and went back to sleep.
Request are appreciated.
Next: The Theft of Thor's hammer-Sufin
I don't remember who requested this or if it was even requested, I looked in the comments, but I saw Thor and Loki in wedding dresses and thought 'Imma gonna write this.' So that is what is next.