Ch 6:

"I want these words to make things right. But it's the wrongs that make the words come to life… One night and one more time. Thanks for the memories even if they weren't so bright, he tastes like you only sweeter."

~Fall Out Boy (Thanks for the Memories)

Dally's POV

Being in the hospital sucks. Especially because the doctors wouldn't let me do anything, so I had no ways to entertain myself. And since I was practically sitting on my ass all day doing nothing, the memories came back. Each one felt like the sharp end of a whip, slowly making me hurt worse and worse. Sometimes I felt like I was being intoxicated, since I had no way to fight back anymore.

During the day, the doctors would fuss over me. They took millions of tests to "understand my problems". In between, the nurses would help me walk around (even though I wasn't hurt physically, not at all) and would try to get me to eat. They had IV's in my arms and legs so I was getting enough nutrients, but they still needed me to eat. I refused anyway, no matter how much they begged me. Even though that seemed like the worse way to go, it was better than nothing. And so far all I had was nothing.

At night I was always awake with nightmares. Most of them were about him and Cherry. Other ones were about me going to hell instead of heaven, and being stuck down there for eternity. I always woke up in cold sweat, screaming or crying or both. Then a nurse would come in and I would cuss her out until she left. I hated it. I would have to cry myself to sleep, but whenever I woke I felt even lest rested then before.

During my third day of being in the hospital, I was sitting in my room bored as hell. I had the TV on, but I wasn't paying attention to it. All the doctors were looking at the results of a blood test, so I was alone. I stared at the grime under my finger nails, trying to distract myself from what I knew was coming. But it came anyway.

One Year Ago

I was sitting on the Curtis's lawn, waiting for one of them to come home. It was a late Wednesday night, probably ten or eleven o'clock. I wasn't paying attention to the time. Darry and Soda were at work, and Pony was at a track meet. I don't know where the others were, but I bet Two-Bit was wasted somewhere and Steve was with Evie. It felt weird to walk into the Curtis's home when no one was there… it just didn't feel right. Plus, I was a little bit drunk, and I had kind of fell on the grass. Then I just didn't feel like getting up.

There was a fruit fly buzzing around me, occasionally resting on my forearm. It tickled. I stared at its wings as they fluttered around its tiny body. I wonder how it could stand being so small. Just then I heard footsteps coming my way. I looked up to see Johnny walking toward me. He had that too-big jean jacket wrapped around his small frame, his eyes darting from side to side. He stepped into the street light, and I realized that he was all cut up and bloody. And he was crying. Damn.

"Johnny?" My loopy feeling disappeared, and immediately was replaced with anger. I stood up as he turned toward me, his eyes red. He stepped out of the light, dropping his gaze. I walked over to him and grabbed his shoulders, looking him over.

"Damn those bitches to hell…" Johnny didn't even try to defend them. He wouldn't even look at me. I grabbed his chin and tilted his face so he was staring straight into my eyes. He was still crying, tears dripping down his cheeks. Everyone always said that his eyes were pure black, but they were really just a dark, bitter shade of brown. They were the kind of eyes that you found yourself staring into and understanding everything, without him even saying anything. Right now they betrayed that he was scared, and awfully sad.

"What did they do?" I snapped, licking my lips since they had suddenly gone dry. He sighed, rolling his eyes like a little kid.

"It's no big deal." He protested.

"Hell yeah it is. What happened? Answer me." I growled fiercely, shaking him. He shook me off, and I let him only because he was my pet. He walked into the Curtis's house, and I followed. I grabbed a washcloth from the kitchen and cleaned it off. He leaned against the counter.

I walked over to him and began mopping up the blood from his face. There were ugly bruises around most of the cuts. Once I was done, I went to the living room, him following me. We both sat down on the couch, and I looked at him intensely.

"What. Happened." His breathing got heavy and sharp, and I knew he was about to spill. He started bawling again.

"I just came home and he was waiting at the door for me. He started hitting me with his belt, and then my mom came in. She started yelling at me about how she doesn't want me and what a useless kid I am. They were mad because I came home late. And then they started throwing glass…." He wouldn't look at me, but I could tell he was crying real hard.

"Aw Johnnycake, it's going to be ok. You know what, it doesn't matter. You got that?" He looked up at me, his big eyes shining with tears and distress. I threw an arm around him and scooting closer to him so we were sitting knee-to-knee.

"Look, you have me. And you have the gang. And that's all you need. Hell, I don't give a damn about my family. And they don't care about me. I'm perfectly fine with that." He took a deep breath before speaking.

"But your tough Dal, I'm not. And I… I want them to love me." I felt my face get hot; he was such an idiot sometimes.

"Johnny this isn't about being TOUGH. It's about accepting what you have and DEALING with it." I stood up, and he followed my lead.

"I can't deal with it. That's my problem. I can't accept it like you can." I ran my fingers through my hair and shook my head. But he continued.

"I wish I was like you Dallas…" I froze, and spun around so hard that he stumbled backwards. His eyes got wide with fear, and I forced myself to speak in a calm voice even though I was shaking with the possibilities of his words. He would never be like me. He would never have to live through what I had been through. Never.

"No, Johnny, you will never be like me. You shouldn't want to Johnny. Just stay the way you are, don't get tough. Please?" He stared up at me, his eyes glowing, nodding at my advice. I pulled him into a hug, slapping him on the back gently. Then, it all faded.

I blinked out of my trance, and tried to blink away the tears that were present in my eyes. Why did this have to hurt so fucking much?

"You okay?" Came a soft voice from the corner of my room. I looked over to see Soda sprawled in one of the chairs, his eyes narrowed at me. I wasn't even surprised to see him; the gang would show up every now and then to check on me. I shook my head at his question. I tried to get my breath back, but it still came out in gasps.

"What's wrong?" Soda straightened up from the chair and sat on the edge of my bed. I purposely looked anywhere but in his direction. But he was waiting for an answer, so I toughened up and gave him one.

"Since I'm pretty much doing nothing all day I have a lot of time to think. And I keep remembering things I just want to get out of my head." He let out a concerned sigh, and I crossed my arms over my chest stonily.

"I'm sorry."

"I am too." We were both quiet for a minute, me lost in my own thoughts. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eyes to find that he was staring at me, his brown eyes narrowed in confusion. I raised my eyebrows at him, waiting for an explanation.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked quietly. I closed my eyes, leaning back into the fluffy pillow. Could I even say his name out loud without breaking down? I haven't said it in months. I bit my lip, challenging myself. If I was going to get stronger, then this was the way to do it.

"Johnny…" My voice stumbled and broke, and I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. There, I said it. Johnny Johnny Johnny. How could that one little word have changed my life so drastically? Just that one kid. Before I could see Soda's reaction, I was sucked into another unwanted memory. A memory of the day I first met Johnny.

The Nightly Double, Three Years Ago

Sylvia yawned and leaned her head against my shoulder. It was getting pretty late, since it was about midnight now. The Curtis's had already left, since Pony had a track meet in the morning or something. Now it was just Sylvia and me.

"Dally." She purred, looking up at me from under her long eyelashes. I leaned down and kissed her nose, smiling. Maybe I wasn't in love with her, but I was pretty damn close to it. We had only been dating for a few months, but that was enough for me to fall for her.

"I have to go. My mom's picking me up." I sighed and she straightened up so she was facing me. She put both of her hands around my face and kissed me. I kissed her back pulling her closer, still not breaking our lip lock even when she stood up.

"Bye Dal." She said in a sugary sweet voice, and I leaned up to give her another peck. She gave me a glittering smile before strutting off toward the parking lot. I looked back to the screen, sighing contently. Life was good.

I wasn't sure what to do now. So I figured I would watch the rest of the movie then crash at Two-Bit's. I leaned back on the bench, letting my back slump in a way that I knew wasn't good for me, but was comfortable so I stayed in that position anyway.

I stared at the screen blankly before realizing that during the entire movie I had been making out with Sylvia, so I had no idea what was going on. Whatever, I would just head to Two-Bit's house then. I stood up and slouched out through the gate, and continued through the empty parking lot. It was a nice night, the breeze nice and cool with the moon real bright. I heard some drunken laughter, and I slouched even more when I saw some Socs with beer bottles in their hands. Bastards. I couldn't care less, but then I realized what that they were laughing about.

A kid, must have been only fourteen, was in the middle of them. He looked absolutely terrified, not letting his huge dark eyes meet theirs, hunching his shoulders and looking generally small. They were shoving him around, not really enough to hurt him real bad, but mostly enough just to shake him up. It would have bothered me if they were seriously hurting him, but it bothered me enough that they were messing with a kid. Why can't they just pick on someone their own age and size? Why only Greasers? Plus, I had never seen the kid before. And he had a look to him that made you instantly feel terrible that he was being bullied, even though I didn't even know his name.

"Hey." I snapped, making the drunks look up at me with wolfish grins on their idiotic faces. The kid locked eyes with me. I gave him a stiff nod before turning my attention back to the Socs. I glared at them menacingly.

"Pick on someone your own size, assholes." One of them leapt toward me, but another held him back, shooting death glares at me. I grabbed the kids arm before they jumped me, and quickly walked away. He was shaking.

"What the hell do you think you were doing?" I asked angrily. What idiotic kid would come to the Nightly Double by themselves? He shrugged, his eyes getting wider by the second. I instantly regretted being so harsh.

"I'm new around here." His voice was barely above a whisper. I dropped his arm and stopped walking, turning to face the kid. I asked him for his name, frowning at him. He stared back at me for a minute; his eyes were a dark shade of brown that I had never seen before.

"Your Dallas Winston." It was easy to hear the admiration and awe in his voice, even though I had no idea why anyone would think I was that amazing. Sure, I got into trouble a lot and the other Greasers though I was tuff. Big deal. I looked at him, still waiting for an answer.

"I'm Johnny Cade."

When I came to, Sodapop was shaking my shoulders roughly.

"Dally? Dally are you alright?" He repeated over and over again. I was quivering with grief, and then suddenly a new emotion overcame me. I was suddenly filled with bitter and anger, the feeling boiling hot inside of me. My vision turned red, and I started shaking harder. I could hear Soda pleading with me to answer him, but his voice was only a faint echo. I stood up, ripping off the cords that were suffocating me. I was barely aware of the sobs racking through me hysterically. All I could think was that it was my entire fault. He wouldn't be dead if it wasn't for me. Soda was still blabbering, but he was just a blur through my hysteria. To make him shut up, I drew back my fist and punched him as hard as I could in the jaw. I heard the crunching of his bone breaking and the piercing yelp of his pain. He stumbled to his knees from the impact of my blow, whimpering. I stepped over him, while tearing out the IV in my arm. I barely even noticed the sharp pain as the needle came out the wrong way. There was blood on the floor from Soda, but I didn't care.

I was crying so hard that I became blinded from my tears. I started punching the wall, not noticing the pain. My fist turned into a bloody mess as each blow broke more of my fingers and left streaks of blood and gore on the white wall. I felt someone pulling my back, and I heard cries of 'Stop!' and 'Dallas!' I elbowed one of them in the hard in the gut, not caring who it was. I was sure it was the rest of the gang. I was screaming at the top of my lungs and my voice was getting hoarse and my hand hurt like hell. I fell on the ground, kicking someone hard in the shin. My arms and legs were flailing and I felt a few hits, but someone was dragging me away from the others. I was screeching for them to put me down and they dropped me. I curled myself into a ball, trembling and sobbing so hard that my throat felt like knives were being stuck down it. My head felt like it was being split open from all the thoughts that rushed through me. The thoughts overwhelmed me, and they turned into a white hot blur until finally disappearing completely.

The room quieted so only soft whimpers were heard, despite my loud weeping. I don't know how long I cried for, but I was only aware of the stabbing pains all over me. You know how they say everyone has their breaking point? Well this was mine, the regret made me break. The gang thinks I broke right after he died, since I went through not eating, mood swings, and depression, but that was just the beginning. Now I'm fully broken beyond repair. And I know I'm hurting them, physically and emotionally, but if they won't let me go then this is what I have to come to.

My sobbing slowed into gasps, then into silence. I could hear the labored breathing of the others, but I attempted to wipe the snot and moister off of my face before I looked up. The room was a mess, with blood smeared everywhere and chairs turned over. The sight brought more tears to my eyes. Lying on the ground was Soda, who was clutching his jaw even in his state. I bit my lip so hard that I could taste the blood on my dry tongue. Next to him was Steve, who was also bleeding and unconscious. I must have hit him in all of the confusion. Two-Bit was sitting on the bed, staring at his hands with his eyes red. He didn't look at me. Pony sat in the corner, curled up like me. He had cuts on his face but otherwise didn't seem harmed. His big grey-green eyes stared at me in a mixture of disgust, fear, and pity. I felt my eyes well up when I looked at his tiny form, so similar to Johnny, yet so different. I swallowed, ignoring the stabbing pains in my heart and head. I spoke, my voice hoarse and broken, barely above a raspy whisper. I couldn't bear to say anything more in depth, I just prayed that they would understand.

"I'm sorry."

Hey! This chapter was pretty heavy and I'm so sorry for the wait. I keep having inspirations for other stories then I write them down and get off track with this one, but hopefully I will get better at managing all of my stories. Thank you thank you thank you for reading! Please, pretty please, review. Every time I get a review I get so happy, and I have never gotten over ten reviews on a story. Isn't that sad? So please review, even if you just want to say 'oh cool' or 'good job', even though I would rather have advice and constructive criticism. Flames are welcome! So please tell me what you think, even in one word. I'm going to ask some questions (which I never do because I think it gets annoying) but this is an important chapter.

~What do you think Dally is going to say to the gang later?

~Is Dally going to stay with Cherry or commit suicide?

~Is the gang going to be mad at Dally for what he did?

~What is going to happen next?

Thank you all SOOOO much! Love you lots,

Alaina