(A/N: Next chapter up. Back to the usual length of +- 4000 words. I was on holiday and now I'm back to studies so I might not be able to get my chapters up once every week like before. Does not mean I will not try my best though - writing does me too much good to stop. So, here is the next chapter! Thank you to those who reviewed in the past and to all those who have favourited (you have no idea how that simple action makes me write so much faster!) or are following! I always take into consideration what you have to say! WonderWhiteRabbit hopping off)
In the Head of the Snake
Chapter 16: Meaning
Snape paced the corridor, his black cloak whipping around him in a large circle with each turn. His steps were soft against the cold stone floor, his boots well accustomed to his soft step despite his rapid movements. He looked up suddenly, his eyes large like a deer caught in a spotlight, his body frozen and tense as if ready to take flight or leap into action. But there was no one there and there was no cause for the sound, only his own form of paranoia that now gripped him from every angle.
What was he doing? He started his frantic pacing again, hands firmly shoved into his pockets, one hand gripped tightly around his wand, and the other with just a finger was stroking the feather quill that linked him to Ginny Weasley. He had told her that he would give her Occlumensy lessons in the Room of Requirement. He still did not know how it worked, but he was quite sure that when Ginny activated its magic that it would give rise to the perfect place for the girl to learn the art of blocking out her mind. But none of that was possible unless the girl showed up!
He growled deep in his throat, the noise carrying in the deserted corridors. She was late! How dare she keep him waiting? Unless she wasn't planning on showing up at all? Her insight into his mind had not been pleasant for him. But maybe it hadn't been pleasant for her either. Maybe, after seeing that...after seeing him...she had changed her mind. He felt himself grow cold once more, settling his heart into a state of indifference. If the girl showed up, he would help her as would any teacher who was asked by a student. If she did not show up...well then at least he had more time to feign sleep.
"Sir?"
Severus almost jumped. Almost. Instead his suddenly rigid body turned to see the sight of Ginny Weasley before him. Her hair was tousled. Her face flushed. Her breathe came in large pants.
"S-s-sorry I'm late, Sir," she finally got out, staggering against the wall while still trying to gain air. "I ran into Filch – literally. I only just got away."
Snape scowled at her, but more so to hide his own pleasure at her final arrival.
"I thought," he said slowly, emphasising each word, "that I had made it perfectly clear that you were to take the hidden passage down two floors and then make your way into the library where the fourth row in the History of Forgotten Warlocks section would give way to stairs that would take you directly to this floor. You should have arrived fifteen minutes ago from that" he pointed over his shoulder, "direction if you were to follow my instructions properly."
"Yes, sir," Ginny, finally standing up straight, lifted her chin up high and looked at Snape directly. Snape wondered when she had grown so bold, or if it was just a lack of fear that allowed her to look at him like she was now. Even worse, with a smile. "I did follow your instructions almost perfectly. I arrived in the Library and was on my way to the fourth row – which, I might add, is the most difficult row to find in the whole library!"
"Forgotten Warlocks, Miss Weasley. The books are as forgotten as the history that they hold."
Ginny brushed that fact off with a wave of her hand. Snape felt a wave of power drift his way as if fanned there by Ginny's movements.
"Anyway, so I was on the way there when I heard voices. At first I didn't realise who they were – I thought it might be some students. But then I crept closer and," her eyes lit up as do so many others as they impart a spectacularly juicy piece of gossip, "I saw two people snogging!"
Snape raised his eyebrows in amusement at her sudden girlish side that she was revealing to him. She took this as a sign of boredom, for then she hurriedly carried on.
"It gets better!" she reassured. "I couldn't see very well – I was looking through some heavy books that kept on letting their pages fly up around them – "
"– Gravity Contravening Curse books, Miss Weasley, learn your library well. They will come in handy for your NEWTs."
Ginny was hardly listening and again shushed Snape.
"So I moved one of the Gravity Contravening Curse books to the side. All the pages were fluttering around so much that the kissing couple didn't even notice me moving the book. And then I saw who it was!" she paused for dramatic effect but Snape would have none of it.
"Are you finally reaching your climax, Miss Weasley?" he drawled, tapping his foot to a song playing only in his head.
"It was Filch! And Madame Pince! Kissing!"
Snape raised his eyebrow again. He wondered if he raised the same one each time he did the action and then wondered if the one side of his face got more of a work out than the other. He relaxed his brow at the thought but Ginny had seen the look of disbelief.
"I'm telling the truth! Pince and Filch were kissing! Snogging old fashion style, you know? Dipping her and all that?"
"I'm sure that Mrs Norris would be more grateful for your sudden news than I am. Instead, I am still waiting for the part where you are caught and have to run away."
"Oh, no that didn't happen like that. I got away from them pretty well on my own. But I couldn't get past them to get to the secret passage that would take me up to this floor. So I decided to get to the passage some other way. Of course that meant I had to go into the restricted section to try and get around to the other side. An alarm of some kind went off as soon as I crossed the line though and I turned and tried to make my way out of the Library. But then I saw Filch head me off. And Madame Pince went to the other door. Those two are real fast considering how old they are! But then I heard a whisper and, I think it was a book or something, but it kinda lead me on. You know?"
"You heard voices? In the restricted section?" his curiosity raised, Snape's finger unconsciously began stroking the soft hem of his robe as his mind started to slowly turn with the new knowledge. It wasn't that she was hearing voices – it was that the books were talking to her. The castle was reacting to her presence. It did not often react to the students, serving only as a place for them to learn and move on. But, every once in a while, the castle acknowledged a student. The question was...why?
"So I followed the voice's directions and came to a dead end. And then I turned just as Filch came around the corner and then..." panting, Ginny came to the pinnacle of her story, her eyes flashing brightly with the discovery she had made, "the floor sucked me up! It just, I dunno, opened! And then dropped me out of the roof down that way," she indicated the direction that she had approached Snape from, "on the stairs. Then the stairs moved to the right floor and I followed them and I came to you!"
Her last sentence told in a rush of one breathe, Ginny panted with the amazement that is the magic of the castle.
"All that, and you were still late. Couldn't you have asked the castle to bring you here a little earlier?"
"It wasn't the castle," scoffed Ginny. "I obviously just found a new passageway!"
"It is no wonder you were not sorted into Ravenclaw, Miss Weasley," grumbled Snape. "However, my disappointment aside at your obvious lack of brain power, I feel I must educate you on one of the most hidden secrets of this castle; it is as alive as you or I."
As if in answer to the Professors statement, the door to the Room of Requirement appeared before them without so much as an inkling of the two's energy to make it appear.
"You did that?" asked Ginny, looking at the door as if it wanted to eat her.
Taking a step towards the door, Snape said "Nope," before opening the door with a hard twist of the golden knob and disappearing behind it.
With a shifty glance down the empty hallways of Hogwarts castle, Ginny followed after.
And found herself in a stunning classroom donning the colours of red and silver.
"Looks like Hogwarts has answered our need for a classroom and decided on what is best for us," Snape's lip curled upwards in an amused smile. Never did the castle cease to impress him.
"Why the colours?" asked Ginny as she took a tentative step into the room. It had a teacher's desk at the front and a single table in the middle of the room, both the table and its partnered chair were on wheels to easily move it out of the way to make way for more practical workings.
"I'm sure you can find the significance of silver," Snape pointed to himself, "and red," and then pointed to Ginny.
"Er, a combination of Slytherin and Gryffindor?" asked Ginny after scrunching her face up in thought.
"Very good, Miss Weasley. I see you are learning to think already."
Ginny scoffed before grumbling, "I darn well know how to think."
"Then you will have to prove it to me," intoned Snape in a bored voice as he inspected the room.
Arriving at the teacher's desk on a slightly raised platform, Snape froze at the item glittering serenely up at him. Curious, Ginny came closer to see the item too.
"What is it?" she asked eventually.
"This, Miss Weasley, is what is called a Pensieve. It is used to house memories so that one may take a look at them at another angle, or allow others to see what one has remembered. It is also used when one's mind is so full of thoughts that, to allow one the chance of singular thought, one can dispel some memories into it to focus on those memories alone."
"But if you have a memory in your head, and you put it into the Pensieve, and then you look at the memory...then won't you remember the memory after having looked at it?" asked Ginny.
"The memory is never taken away from the owner. You cannot get rid of memories without using a forgetful charm. However, the Pensieve can keep memories safe. So if one were to break into the owner's mind, they would not be able to see those memories because they are also protected by the Pensieve."
After saying that, Severus put his wand to his temple and, with a slightly strained frown on his face, pulled a long strand of silver liquid out of his skin. The liquid held to the tip of the wand, floating slightly in a nonexistent breeze. Then, before the memory could be lost to the air, Severus placed it onto the protective surface of the Pensieve. They both watched as the silver thoughts turned red and swirled downwards into the depths of the Pensieve, neither liquid nor swirling air.
"Did you just put a memory into the Pensieve?" asked Ginny.
"Yes," replied Snape simply, looking away from the glistening contents of the bowl.
"Why?"
"Because we are about to commence with your first Occlumency lesson. If you should happen to break through my Legilimens and enter my mind, there are certain things that would be better for you not to know."
"But if you're such a skilled Occlumens, then surely I wouldn't be able to break through your mind?" enquired Ginny before saying quickly, "Maybe we should have a theory lesson before we do the practical part?"
Snape could tell she was just as uneasy about Snape in her mind as he was with Ginny in his. Maybe a theoretical lesson couldn't hurt all that much. He had never given one to Harry, but that was because time was of the essence with the boy and when it came down to it, it was much better if one followed one's natural defences than being asked to choose between those offered.
"Alright," said Snape as he stepped away from the desk and towards the blackboard. Finding a piece of chalk, Snape turned to Ginny to see that she had already taken her place at her seat. Windows around them let in the early morning light, its watery warmth splaying rippling long shadows across the ground as dust motes floated in the air.
Ginny was bathed in that morning light, her hair in a long ponytail down her back looked like a fiery rope. Her shoulders were hunched over the desk, an inked quill poised over a long piece of parchment, while her eyes were only for him. He smirked at her readiness before he took his teaching stance and began.
As he talked, he waved his wand at the chalk in his hand and it took to the blackboard, automatically writing out key words and phrases as well as indicating correct angles and sums for the magic of Legilimensy to take proper effect. Legilimensy wasn't just an ordinary spell that one put over another; position of the one performing Legilimensy and the one performing Occlumensy was important, as well as so many other physical factors. The chalk seemed to have a life of its own as it followed Snape's words and covered the board in definitions and drawings.
"To describe the ways of Occlumensy, one must first understand Legilimensy. While one uses Legilimens, they open a pathway to the other's mind whereby thoughts or memories can flow into the Receiver's mind from the Holder. This link is not an imaginary thing – it is a real force. That is why eye-contact is sometimes so essential for the process; the eyes offer an easy route for the Link to pass through and enter the Holder's mind. The part of Holder and Reciever, however, can easily be reversed.
"If the Holder wishes to keep his memories and thoughts to himself, there are a number of different ways to do so.
"Firstly, the easiest option is to reverse the Link. Because the most difficult part of Legilimensy is creating the Link, there is a moment at the beginning of the power struggle where the Holder can take advantage of the depleted concentration of the Recipient. If the flow is reversed then there is less energy needed by the former Holder to open the gap into the mind of the former Recipient. We call this a Switch. More energy is needed to close the Link once made, and as such, if a Former Recipient became the Holder, they would experience a lack of concentration from firstly making the Link and then, secondly, having to close down the Link once the reversal was made. It takes valuable time to close down a Link whereby the Former Holder can experience the Former Recipient's thoughts despite the fact that the Former Holder might not know Legilimens. To combat the chance of Reversal, the Receiver must make the initial contact with the Holder a strong one – so much so that the Holder's mind is rendered stunned. This way, it disallows the Holder from reacting to the initial contact.
"Once the Link has been made, the only option the Holder has is to try to break the thread. I will discuss the various courses of action now.
"Of course, the easiest way to break the Link is to not have it be made in the first place. This means one must avoid eye contact or any form of physical contact. Also, avoid high levels of emotion that could render the Holder unprotected. This includes forms of negative as well as positive emotions such as anger and fear as well as happiness and love. If the Link is trying to attach itself to the Holder's mind, the Holder must imagine themselves as having no emotions at all, and as such, no mind either. As the heart of humans runs the mind – whether we care to admit it or not – the Holder must block themselves from their feelings and emotions so as to prove to oneself that they have no conscience. For it is the conscience that houses ones memories and thoughts and leads the direction of one's thought patterns. To stop the Link before it is made, one must convince the Link that there is nothing to link to. The only way to fool the Link, since the Link is directed by the Recipient, is to fool oneself and thus the Recipient and, finally, the Link. It is an act that requires much energy and often results in the Holder eventually believing, beyond a doubt, that they have no conscience to begin with.
"Another option that is often looked over since it happens to hold a large potential of negative aspects, is to split one's mind and to allow the Link to be made to one part of one's mind. If the Holder knows how to split their mind accurately, then the Recipient may wonder freely through the Holder's thoughts, taking whatever they like from the Holder's mind, while the other half of the Holder's mind is secure from the Recipient. This option also allows the Holder the ability to stay focused on the real world and not just be encompassed in their mind fighting blindly against the images of their own memories. A Split, however, is very difficult to master, and often times is only done by accident. It requires impeccable timing so that the Recipient does not become aware of the Split and so that the Link does not connect itself to the wrong half. A Split is infinitely important though."
Snape looked at Ginny who was scribbling furiously on her parchment. He noticed she had drawn stickmen and a line from the one to the other next to each explanation that he had given her. The one drawing held a "link line" with arrows on either side to show the act of Reversal. Another showed a link line cut off before it reached the next stickman who had a black heart-shape in its midst. A third link line hit the top of the stickman's head while the bottom of the head was scribbled black to explain a Split. She was following along quite nicely, he mused, but the way they were going he would not be able to practice the art of Legilimens or Occlumens on her in this lesson. Time was almost up and he was hardly even half way through the different methods of defence against Legilimens. As if on cue, the light shining through the windows hit the blackboard, covering its dark surface in reflective light so that one could not look at it. The chalk, worn down to a tiny stub, fell to the ground and Snape folded his arms.
"I believe, Miss Weasley, that that is all for today."
She looked to him with an odd expression on her face.
"But we're not done yet," she said.
"No, but we will have another lesson tomorrow morning. You cannot learn everything in one session."
"I suppose not..." she mumbled.
"And, you cannot learn anything without food. Breakfast should be well underway by now."
"You never eat breakfast," Ginny said and then clamped her hand fast over her mouth.
Snape was slightly surprised by her knowledge of that fact. Snape did not eat breakfast – he only made his appearance at the Teacher's Table to make it appear like he did. And also because the Headmaster made it quite clear that he wanted him to be there in the mornings. It was not for lack of appetite that he did not eat. He could never eat after having some of his nightmares. He tried – he really did. But often the rich food of Hogwarts was too much for him so early after reliving his actions. His House Elf, the one appointed to look after him, knew what to give him after some of his episodes; a strong cup of black coffee with an even stronger hint of Ballinoid Gnome Brandy to it.
"I'll go eat breakfast," announced Ginny, getting to her feet. But then she glared at Snape, "only if you go to eat breakfast too."
"You are making demands of a teacher, Miss Weasley?" he was amused despite himself.
"No," she said bluntly and then stuck her chin up in the air. Snape could see what was going to happen; she was going to say something obviously bold and exceptionally foolish. Only a Gryffindors used that type of pose when they were about to do something completely fool hardy. He was not disappointed as she said, "I am making demands of a friend."
He raised one eyebrow – making sure this time that he raised the one that he didn't always use – as he looked at her stubborn face. He struggled hard to keep his breathing even as he fought back laughter. He felt a twitch in his cheek and thought that she had deserved a smile...at least a small one.
Ginny, apparently made much too happy by the small gesture, ran forwards and hugged Snape. He froze solid by she didn't seem to notice, or if she did, she didn't seem to care. Strangely, Snape found that he did care – and very much so. Relaxing his arms only, he patted her back awkwardly.
"Thank you for coming to breakfast with me!" she announced through his chest.
"I am not coming to breakfast with you, Miss Weasley. I will be sitting at my table and you at yours," he said sternly.
She looked up from his chest into his midnight black eyes. He wondered what she was thinking but even if he tried he knew he would not know; her aura was tangible. Perhaps she knew that though and was doing it on purpose, because she smiled up at him in a crooked fashion before winking and saying, "That's what everyone else will see."
Then she unwrapped her arms from around him and skipped out of the Room of Requirement. Alone in the room, Snape saw a handkerchief float slowly down from the roof. He caught it mid-drop and used it to wipe his sweating forehead. On his way out of the room, he placed the handkerchief on a shelf before saying to the room, "Yes, I needed that, but don't you think I need something more too?"
As if laughing at him, Snape saw a board had hung itself on the back of the door. He growled as he read what the board said.
Stupid smug Room of Requirement.
He banged the door behind him before stalking off angrily towards the Great Hall.
Back in the Room of Requirement, everything was slowly melting into nothing at its sudden lack of purpose. The last thing to disappear into awaiting white nothingness, was a wooden board with a curly-written word carved into it. The wood melted slowly, diffusing until only the word stood out stark in the whiteness.
Eventually, only the room saw the word "Courage" disintegrate into nothing because of a lack of meaning.
(A/N: And so? Thoughts are welcome! I think I like the Room toying with Snape. I often wonder, if the Sorting Hat had brains stuffed inside him to allow him to think, then what does the room have to let it think? It can't just be magic - maybe it steals the thinking power of those around it? I'm rambling. WonderWhiteRabbit hopping thoughtfully off.)