A/N: Thank you to all those that have set alerts or favorited this story. It really helps motivate me to keep the story going. Thank for you all of the reviews and suggestions for memories. I promise I will get to all of the suggestions in upcoming chapters. Sorry this chapter took me a little longer to post than usual. This chapter fought me for some reason. Just to make sure there is no confusion text in italics represents Elena's thoughts that Damon hears. Enjoy!
Chapter 5
Three days have passed since we last tried going into Elena's mind. Bonnie and Caroline had to go back to school and Ric had to return to his little teaching gig. Jeremy refuses to go back to school and for now we aren't pushing the issue. Rebekah and Stefan are helping with searching during the day for the vampire that will die a slow gruesome death and I am staying at the hospital more so Jeremy isn't alone with Elena all day. Stefan has slowly been increasing the amount of time he could spend at the hospital but he still has to leave after a few hours. He usually stays the first few hours after visiting hours are over and I am on my own the rest of the night.
"Let's get the show going, Bonnie." As usual, my patience is thin.
"These spells take time, Damon. Settle down." She closes her eyes and takes a few deep breathes while I drum my fingers on my thigh waiting. "Okay, take her hand."
Grasping Elena's hand the blackness envelopes me. Opening my eyes, I am immediately knocked to the ground with a stake aimed over my heart. Instinctually, I grab a hold of the stake pushing it away from me and look up at who is holding it.
"Elena" I yell. Her subconscious is freakishly strong.
We wrestle against each other, each trying to take control of the stake. It's sort of a metaphor for our relationship, if I thought hard enough about it. I feel the stake start to piece my skin and I howl in pain. Rolling my hips against her, I manage to flip us over and I pin her to the ground beneath me holding her hands above her head.
"Elena…Elena, its Damon" I try to use soothing tones, but it's very difficult with her trying to kill me and all.
"You don't belong here" Elena screams.
I must have let my guard down slightly as she managed to get her knees underneath me. Before I can repin her in place she bucks me off and slams me to the ground. Elena is nose to nose to with me and manages to regain a grip on the stake.
"Elena, I'm here to help you. You need to wake up."
"Leave!" She yells but less loudly then before.
"Elena, please. Wake up, come back to us." I say softly. Elena jabs the stake in my shoulder and disappears.
Note to self, Elena's subconscious is getting more aggressive. Wincing, I pull the stake out of my shoulder and sit up. Convincing her subconscious to allow her to wake up may not be a viable option. Tracking down the vampire that did this to her is now vital and we need to figure out to how force him to compel her awake. I get back to my feet and stumble into the darkness.
Only a few steps in and the parlor of the Boarding House looms around me. Elena is sitting on the couch and watches as the memory version of me strides into the room.
"You were supposed to leave."
Elena stands up and hands me a glass of scotch. "I did but then I came back to make sure that you're okay."
"I appreciate the gesture. I'm just glad it's over." Oh, this the day Rose died or, more accurately, the day I killed her. No wonder I'm snarky and pissed off.
"You know I don't believe that." The warmth of Elena's concern and desire to console seeps through me wrapping around me like a blanket.
"Go home, Elena. Get some rest. It's a whole new day tomorrow." The exasperation is dripping off of every word that comes out of my mouth.
"Damon, I'm your friend" She is trying so hard to comfort me and I am just glaring daggers at her.
"I'm well aware of that."
"And a friend usually knows when her friend is hurting." She steps closer.
"What do you want to hear? That I cared about Rose? That I'm upset? Well I didn't and I'm not." The memory version of me walks away gesticulating to the door angrily for Elena to leave.
"There you go, pretending to turn it off, pretending not to feel. Damon, you're so close, don't give up." I can feel Elena's frustration mingling with the desire to console me.
I see myself turn back to face her. "I feel Elena, okay? And it sucks! What sucks even more is that it was supposed to be me. Jules was coming after me." She came to comfort and I threw it back in her face. That's me. First class dick.
"You feel guilty." She seems surprised in that moment. Fuck yea, I felt guilt. I pushed Jules and Rose paid the price. Rose didn't deserve that.
"That would be human of me, wouldn't it Elena? And I'm not human. You want to talk about giving up? All you've done is give up! Go home. There's been enough doom, gloom and personnel growth for one night." Ahhh deflection. My classic response.
A look of disappointment spreads across Elena's face. "Okay, I will."
Elena pulls the memory version of me into a hug. The warmth inside me grows as Elena's sense of compassion and desire to comfort in that moment grows. I wish he wouldn't hide behind his walls. I know he's not human, but he's not the monster he thinks he is either. He's just alone. He makes everyone thinks he is a jack-ass and a monster so he can stay behind his walls and not get hurt again. I wish he would let me support and comfort him so he knows that he is not alone and is cared for.
"Good night Damon."
That girl always could see through my bullshit. Why would she want to comfort me after the horrible things I have done, not just to her, but to others she cares about? Elena had no ulterior motive, just an honest desire to help and support. Ric was right when he said to her she was a sucker for lost causes. She was so desperate to believe I could be more, that the vampire didn't define who I was or could be. I want to believe Elena, I want to prove her faith in me is justified, but my history begs to differ.
The combination of Elena's compassion and my bitterness from the memory causes my head to spin a bit. I close my eyes to steady myself. I open them and see I am in the library at the Boarding House. Elena stepping towards the memory version of me.
"I'm not going to say that I'm sorry we got the grimoire without you last night, because I'm not, really." She looks cute standing there all determined.
"Well, at least you're honest."
"I was protecting the people I love, Damon. But so were you, in your own way twisted way. And as hard as it is to figure, we're all on the same side, after the same thing." I know he just wants the woman he loves back and I can admire that. What would I do to protect the people I love if pushed?
"Not interested." I say dismissively.
"Yes, you are, because you were willing to work with us yesterday." She's glaring right back at me. Don't back down Elena. He's just someone that has been hurt in the past and you did nothing to help him to trust you adding to the pain he has already experienced.
"Fool me once, shame on you." I glare at her.
"Ok, when we were in Atlanta, why didn't you use your compulsion on me?" She crosses her arms and gives me that look just daring me to lie to her.
"Who's to say I didn't?" The smug look on the face of the memory version of me is actually pretty disgusting.
"You didn't. I know you didn't, but you could have. You and I...we have something. An understanding. And I know that my betrayal hurt you, different from how it is with you and Stefan, but I'm promising you this now. I'll help you get Katherine back."
"I wish I could believe you."
Elena takes her necklace, setting it on the side table and steps closer. "Ask me if I'm lying now."
I see myself reach down and pick up her necklace putting it back on for her. "I didn't compel you in Atlanta because we were having fun. I wanted it to be real. I'm trusting you. Don't make me regret it."
Deep down, there is a man that is loyal and passionate. Being hurt so often and by so many people causes him to lash out and hurt others. Maybe if I can show him what a friend can really be, he can be the man I saw in Atlanta, not the monster he thinks he needs to show everyone else.
This girl never ceases to surprise me. This memory is from before we opened the tomb, before I started to fall in love with her. I was still fully on the Katherine diabolical roller coaster of obsession. She knew even then my true motivations and could see the cracks in my walls. She's the only one that bothers to acknowledge that I'm more than a psychotic asshole. Even in our little band of misfit toys, I'm the outcast except with Elena.
Before I can ponder her thoughts any further, the two figures in the room fade away but I am still in my bedroom. Please be something less angsty. I hesitantly step further into the room looking around waiting for some new baddie to jump me. I see Elena kneeling on my bed in little boy shorts and a white button down shirt half unbuttoned facing what must be a fantasy version of me, because only in my dreams has Elena been on bed looking like that. She's also staring at me and is that a lustful look?
I watch her slowly undoing the buttons on my shirt. Woo hoo, it really is a fantasy. I know these are Elena's private fantasies and I should feel bad for violating her thoughts by seeing this, but after getting my ass kicked by her subconscious this is a welcome change.
Elena made quick work of my shirt and slowly kisses up the chest of fantasy me, suckling at my neck. If I close my eyes I can almost feel the burn on my skin where she kissed. Fantasy me caresses her face and pulls Elena into a kiss. Elena tangles one hand in my hair deepening the kiss while she undoes my belt and pants. The remaining clothes are quickly discarded and two very naked bodies are on the bed kissing and groping at every inch of each other.
I wish at this very moment, more than I have wished for anything in my life, that the fantasy version of me that I am watching would be the real me as I watch Elena straddle and lower herself on my oh so impressive girth. Damn, this is hot. She sets a languid pace her head thrown back and eyes closed her hand resting on my chest.
"Elena, you're beautiful." I watch as I push myself into a sitting position and Elena's legs wrap around my waist. The fantasy version of me and Elena are staring into each other's eyes lips ghosting each other whispering each other's names. Not that this scene isn't incredibly hot to watch, but I take a look around the room. The slow pace of the sex, staring into each other's eyes, candles lit all around the room and there is soft music playing. It's all…very…intimate.
I know women fantasize about me all of the time. It's not ego, well maybe its ego, but I know women and I know the effect I have on them. I can sense Elena's arousal around me often. Hell, even Bonnie has been aroused by the sight of me a time or two and she hates me. Most women that sleep with me want the wam, bam that their significant other's can't provide to them. Its sex. I fuck them and we all move on, no strings attached.
What I am seeing is different. This isn't fucking. This is making love. All of this stuff is really messing with my head.
"Damon, bite me. Please." Elena moans and quickens the pace, moving her hair to the side.
"Elena." Her name seems to hover in the air as I see myself suckle on her pulse point before my fangs decent and piece her delicate skin. How is she tapping into all of my own fantasies? I have imagined biting Elena in the throes of sex. I can only imagine how sweet her blood would taste as she spirals toward orgasm.
Elena is moaning my name even louder and her back arches her body shuddering. Then she is suddenly on her back. The fantasy me retracts from her neck and starts to drive quicker.
"Oh, God, Damon. Please don't stop." I see Elena's second organism already building. Damn I'm good.
"I'll never leave you" I whisper as my tongue circles Elena's breast.
"I'll never let anyone hurt you." I whisper kissing along Elena's collar bone.
"I will always choose you" I whisper kissing along her neck.
I see myself reaching between our writhing bodies to find her please point while angling her hips up. From the moan, I must have hit her g-spot. It only takes a few more strokes for her to come undone again and the fantasy version of me quickly follows.
"Wow" Elena whispers. As I start to roll over Elena pulls me back. "Don't, I want you to stay inside me."
I am seriously screwed. That was as intimate of a fantasy as I could ever imagine. Fuck…me. What does it mean that this in her head? I can't focus on this right now. Need to focus on waking Elena up.
My chest is actually heaving I am breathing so hard from having watched the scene play out and it took me a moment to realize the Boarding House was fading away. Finally, back to the hallway. I walk down examining the doors and various locks. One door has an old fashioned lock coated in rust. Raising my foot and giving a swift kick the door opens easily. Weak compulsion. I barely had to use any strength.
Elena suddenly runs by me. I stand there dumb-founded for a moment as I look around and recognize the tree lined streets not far from the Gilbert house. As I see her disappearing in the distance I take off after her. Elena stops for a minute and turns around jogging in place. I look behind me as I slow down to stop next to her and see Ric about a block away.
"Can't keep up Ric?" Elena laughs and starts running again.
As she rounds the corner she runs directly into someone that knocks her down. Elena looks up in a panic scrambling back on all fours against a fence next to the sidewalk.
"I'm sorry, I should look where I'm going." A guy reaches his hand down to Elena to help her up. She hesitates for a second then reaches out her hand. I look at her outstretched hand. Her vervain filled bracelet is missing. I take a closer look at the guy helping Elena to her feet trying to memorize his features. Blonde hair, green eyes, over 6 feet, slim build. He looks to be around Elena's age and is wearing running gear.
"Its okay, I should be more careful." Elena takes a step to the side. I can't quite pinpoint her feelings. It doesn't feel like fear, but there is an uneasiness growing. Stay or run, decide quick Elena.
The blonde smiles at Elena. "You must be Elena. I've heard a lot about you." He grabs Elena by the arms and she starts to struggle. I shiver as her fear slams into me. Do we have a winner for the vampire asshole that hurt Elena?
"Hybrid?" Elena asks as she struggles. Her comment has me take a second look at him. No jewelry to allow him to walk in the sun. Elena's right, he's a hybrid.
Suddenly the blonde haired vampire looks up. "Shit!"
He stares into Elena's eyes. "You will forget that I am a hybrid. You will think I am new in town and will be attending high school with you once my family is settled. My name is Griffin." Elena's feelings immediately shift and she feels relaxed and calm.
Just as the vampire finishes the compulsion, Ric comes around the corner and stops dead in his tracks seeing the blonde and Elena together on the sideway.
"Everything okay?" Ric asks hesitantly.
"Yeah, fine Ric. This is Griffin. We had a klutzy moment and ran into each other. He's new and will be starting at school." Elena turns to Griffin. "This is our history teacher, Mr. Saltzman."
"Good to meet you Griffin. Elena, we should finish our run. I have papers to grade."
Instantly I am back in the hallway. There is another door with an old fashioned rusty lock similar to the one I just broke down. Yet again, one swift kick and the door flies open. Newbies, such weak compulsion.
Elena is standing outside the Grille, tapping her foot. Elena glances at her watch. Where's Bonnie? She's ten minutes late. Come on Bonnie. It's sort of cute sensing and hearing her impatience. Usually I am the impatient one and she seems to have the patience of a saint.
The hairs on the back of my neck suddenly stand-up. Elena must be scared. Why is that guy staring at me?
I look across the street and see a guy standing on the sidewalk. He is definitely staring at her. A second later, he is in front of her. Crap. This guy is not the same one as in the last memory. What the hell is going on? Elena steps back hitting the brick wall of the Grille. She pulls out a vervain dart and tries to jab it in his shoulder, but he blocks her forcing her am against the wall.
"You must be Elena. Katherine would be stronger" he whispers in her ear. I study him. This guy is blonde but mid-twenties, stocky build and only a couple of inches taller than Elena. Wait no ring or other jewelry that I can see. He is not burning in the sun, he must also be a hybrid. He quickly pulls off Elena's bracelet and the necklace she had worn that day.
"Don't want any vervain between us now do we?"
"What do you want?" Elena knees him in the groin and she wiggles free but he catches the back of her jacket and pulls her back against the wall.
Male blondie drags Elena into the alley. "We need a little donation." Elena manages to get a stake out of her pocket and wedges it in his stomach and takes off at a dead sprint out of the alley. That's my girl. As I watch her run, I see the little Griffin newbie from the last memory step into the end of the alley and I can only watch as Elena runs straight into him while looking over her shoulder to make sure the first guy is still down.
"Where are you running off to Elena?" Griffin asks. God, I will enjoy killing this one. I hate feeling the intensity of Elena's fear. Since I can't touch anything, there is nothing I can break or kill so all I can do is pace back and force and watch.
"You will be quiet and hold still." Griffin compels her. Elena immediately drops her he arms and she stops struggling. Griffin turns Elena around and leads her back to male blondie. What the hell are they up to?
"How did you let a human stake you? What a pansy-ass?" Griffin laughs pushing Elena against the wall.
"Hurry and let's get this over with so we can get this stupid experiment done and over with. She's got two vampires and a witch always near her. I prefer not to get dead because of some teenage girl." Blondie looks further into the alley and a woman comes near. Why does she look familiar?
"Get it done." The two hybrids step back.
The woman steps forward and rolls up Elena's sleeve. Please stop, whatever you're doing, please stop. Just let me go.
God, this is killing me. I hate her being scared and in danger. Where the hell was I when this happened? Why wasn't I protecting her? Damn you witchy for being late.
The women pulls out a needle. What is she doing? Is she drawing blood? Yes, that is exactly what she is doing. I have no clue what is going on. The woman finishes and steps back.
Griffin steps forward and turns Elena towards him. "You will forget that you saw us, you will forget that we did anything to you." Elena blinks and she is alone in the alley.
These memories aren't making any sense. I need back in that hallway. There is a lot more I need to unlock to figure out what happened to her. The Grille fades away and I prepare myself for what happens next. Blackness. Come on, give me another memory, the hallway, something. I can't call it quits for today yet. Wait, what was that? I hear grunting. If this is another Stefan and Elena sex memory, I may have to kill something when I get out of here. Walking towards the sound, I definitely see Stefan, but he is not having sex. He is currently choking me. Well, not me but a memory version of me. Stefan and I fight a lot, she probably has a lot of memories of us at each other's throats. This is weird, it's just us fighting in the dark so this can't be a memory. I see myself slam a fist into Stefan's jaw and he stumbles back.
"I love her, she will never be yours. She'll never love you or respect you." Stefan screams.
"What's the matter, brother, worried she may love me and not you?" I am guessing this a fear version of me. I don't see Elena anywhere and I still seem to fighting Stefan in the dark. Curses and snide remarks are flying back and forth as I watch myself and Stefan circle each other. Each of us pulls out a stake and charge at each other. A scream erupts from the darkness and I turn to see Elena, tears streaming down her face.
"Stop it both of you. You're brothers, family. You can't fight each other, especially not over me." She yells moving to break us up, but it's too late. Simultaneously stakes piece chests and we both drop to the ground.
"Noooooo!" Elena screams running and kneeling between the bodies. The stakes have pieced the heart but our bodies are still moving, hands reaching desperately for Elena as if she is our lifeline to survive. She reaches over and pulls the stakes from both our bodies. I watch as Elena's jeans and converse tennis shoes morph into black leather pants and knee high boots. Her henly shirt is replaced with a tight purple corset and her normally straight hair suddenly is curly.
"My boys, always fighting over me. I'm Katherine's doppelganger, the same… in… every…way." She whispers kissing us each on the cheek. "I let you love me, giving you both hope that I would be yours in the end. Katherine destroyed you in 1864, and now I guess it's my turn" Elena says with a smile.
Elena reaches into the chests of each body and pulls out our hearts. She stands hands dripping with blood. "Such a same, both so beautiful. You think you would have learned from history and figured out a way to get along and not fight over little old me." She walks backs from the bodies with languid strides.
This is the embodiment of Elena's fear of being Katherine. She literally has transformed herself into Katherine. Years of hatred and torment have existed between me and my brother all at the hands of Katherine. Her desire to have us both drove a wedge between us. The fact that Katherine really only wanted Stefan didn't help me wanting to play nice with Stefan.
Elena turns, upon seeing me she drops the hearts and lunges and pins me to the ground. "Hello, Daaamoooon." She purrs.
"Elena." Great, her subconscious is back for round two.
"How long before I destroy you and Stefan like Katherine? She said it was okay to love you both like she did." She caresses my cheek with her bloody hands and brings her face close to me. "You think me innocent and sweet, but I let two brothers fall in love with me. I let you risk your lives. I let you into my life knowing I held your hearts in my hand and had the power to rip them out at any moment." She whispers in my ear.
"Elena, you are not Katherine. Your heart is pure. You never asked me to love you." I reach out to cup her face. "Katherine is a psychotic bitch that never loved me and used me to get to Stefan. All you've even done is be my friend and care about me when no one else would. You've never strung me along or pretended to love me."
"You don't belong here. Please leave." Elena whispers he voice cracking as a tear rolls down her cheek.
I wipe it away with the pad of my thumb. "You need to wake up, Elena. Let me help you wake up."
"Leave" she utters before disappearing. I look down at myself. No wounds, I must be making progress.
Not wanting to push my luck at the moment I reach for the talisman. "Bonnie" I call and I am deposited back into Elena's room.
I look around at everyone. "We have big problems." I relay what I say in the two unlocked memories.
"Bonnie do you remember what day you were supposed to meet Elena at the grille and you were late?" Alaric asks.
"Two weeks before Elena's attack I think." Bonnie answers.
"Caroline, go see your mom and see if you can pull any surveillance footage from around the Grille for two weeks before her attach give or take a couple of days. Let's see if we can get pictures of these two hybrids." I order.
"The woman, I saw looked really familiar. I just don't know where I know her from." I rack my brains but come up blank.
"What were the hybrids up to?" Jeremy asks.
"I have no idea, and that's what worries me the most." I admit. I turn to Stefan. "From all of your dealings with Klaus and the hybrids, were there any additional evil schemes that were never fully played out."
"Not that I am aware of." Stefan shakes his head.
"Since they took her blood, do you think they are trying to make their own hybrids?" Jeremy asks.
"God, I hope not." Alaric runs his hands through her hair. "Maybe it's time we visit Tyler."
"I'll go." Stefan stands. I open my mouth to protest when he puts his hand up to interrupt. "Diplomacy is not you're strong suite. We don't want to scare Tyler off if there is some other big evil scheme brewing in this town." This from the guy that was decapitating hybrids in Mystic Falls not so long ago.
"Maybe you should go help Caroline and Liz with the surveillance footage and get out of here for a bit. You need to get cleaned up anywhere. There are still a few hours before visiting hours are over." Alaric motions at my shoulder. Oh, right. I forgot Elena had stake me plus I've hardly been out of this room for days. Maybe some fresh air will help me place where I know that woman from.
Nodding my head, I take one last look at Elena and walk out of the room. I head to the Boarding House to grab a quick shower. As I stand in the warm spray of the shower the face of the woman haunts me. I know I have seen her somewhere before. I turn off the shower and wrap a towel around my waist. I walk over to my dresser and pull out a black t-shirt and as I pull on my jeans it hits me.
I blur to my phone and hit two on the speed dial. Yes, Elena is number one and the irony that a vampire hunter is number two does not escape me. "Alaric!" I hear sounds in the background. "Where are you?"
"I'm on my home to grab a shower. I left Matt and Jeremy at the hospital with Elena."
"Get back there now. I know who the woman is from Elena's memory and she may be in danger."
I blur to the camaro excited I may finally get to kill someone that hurt Elena.