A/N: Okay, I got a bunch of Donkey Ball reviews and a bunch of other weird anatomies. Thanks, you made me spit out my soda. LOL
!DONKEY BALLS!
Special Note: I'm all up for criticism in the reviews, I just ask that if you don't like it or disagree with something, I or any of the other authors write, that you be respectful about it. We do this for free and take time out of our RL and families in order to write such stories. We do this out of love.
Disclaimer: Stephenie owns all things Twilight. I own the bunny that attacked me to write this.
Beta: HollBeth
Simply Promised
Chapter 8
BPOV:
Nine years old...
"Happy birthday to youuuuuu. Happy birthday to youuuuuuu. Happy birthday dear, Beeellaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Happy birthday to youuuuu."
This is awesome.
My friends from my new class are here.
The new neighbors are here.
And my family is here.
Except my mommy, but I already knew she wasn't coming.
She sent me a postcard...
A barbie on a beach postcard.
I wasn't happy... and neither was daddy.
He said a lot of bad words and threw a couple of things around the house.
I spent that night in Mesme's house with Ed.
After that night, my daddy has been the best.
He takes me to school, cooks me food, even though it comes in a box, and helps me with my homework every night.
He also lets me sleep with him.
When it was time to plan my party, I told him no pink anything.
He thought it was a great idea and now we are having a Transformers party.
Those dudes are so cool.
"Blow the candles, Bella!"
"Make a wish first!"
A wish, a wish, a wish!
Please let mommy come home... please, please, please let mommy come home.
I open my eyes and blow the nine big candles.
After cake and chocolate chip cookie ice cream is eaten, we begin to open the presents.
I get so many girly things, but I force a big, fake smile because daddy told me I had to be gracious.
"You got a bunch of girl stuff," says Ed.
"I know, but daddy won't let me change them for better stuff we can play with."
He pokes my new barbies with his toe and then uses his GI Joe to slap her around.
"Do you think Joe would ever marry a barbie?"
I look at him disgusted. No one would ever want to marry a barbie except Ken. "That's gross."
"What is, Joe marrying Barbie or just being married?"
His question doesn't make sense and I tell him.
"One day you're gonna get married, you know. All the grownups get married. You have to. It's like a rule."
"My mom and dad aren't married anymore," I point out, trying not to think about my mommy too much.
"But she will marry someone one day and she'll have more babies, 'cause that's the second rule."
"No, the second rule is that they have to slave away, just like dad complains. Men slave away."
"Nuh-uh. First rule is married, second rule is kids, third rule is slaving away," he says, being sure.
"Well, I'm breaking the first rule 'cause I never want to divorce and be sad like dad."
"Then how are you gonna get the baby? You can't buy those, you have to make them."
"I know you need a dad and a mom to make them, I'm not stupid, I know stuff."
I huff and continue to cut my other barbie's hair.
"Then how are you making the baby?" he insists.
"Well, what if I don't want a baby?"
What if my baby looks like Emmie? Ewwwww.
"You have to have a baby, you can't break all the rules."
"Why can't you just give me the baby then?"
"Do we have to get married?" he asks, scrunching up his nose.
"No, dummy. Just give me the baby and that's it."
"Okay then, bump on it. You know, to make it official 'cause this is adult stuff and everything adults do has to be official."
Ugghh, official...
"Me, Ed Cullen, promise to give you a baby so you don't go to hell for breaking the first rule."
I stick out my tongue at him cause he knows how much Reverend Jacob scared all the kids on Sunday school about hell.
"I, Bella Swan, promise to never get married and make your baby."
We both bend our elbows, I spit on his, he spits on mine, and we bump them.
We are official.
A/N: Reviews are the same as donkey balls.. or maybe not, Just leave me some luv.