(A/N: Ah! So once again a very long chapter! I am on holiday! Therefore, as treat to myself and to my dearest readers, I have written this chapter; "An Itch", no reference to Witch or anything that rhymes thereto. So I know that I said that there would be Trelawney in the future, and there will be, but not quite yet. Actually I found a bit of a mistake in my story *cry! So the next chapter will be to remedy that mistake. Otherwise, enjoy the chapter! Wonderwhiterabbit hopping off!)
In the Head of the Snake
Chapter 19: An Itch
Snape stared at his single student, scribbling down notes faster than Hermione Granger. He didn't think he'd ever had a student so eager to learn something. Her eagerness matched that of his own when he was young and hungry for knowledge. Now, he wished he knew nothing of the world and what it was comprised of.
There was too much anger and hate and bitterness in the world, and the longer he lived, the more he was consumed by it. But here he was, in a room made completely to answer his needs, with a girl who mirrored his younger self, and he didn't want to change a thing.
"Now, to move onto our next stage in these lessons, I will first re-explain the fundamentals. I have explained what a Link is, that it is tangible and real and that its power is derived from that of the Receiver. I have also explained ways for the Holder to protect themselves from Legilimency. One way is for the Link never to be made. For this, eye contact must be avoided at all costs as well as any form of strong emotions. I have also explained about Reversal, whereby the initial point of contact of the Link is not strong enough to stun the Recipient, while at the same time leaving the Holder momentarily off-guard, thus allowing the Recipient to travel back across the Link into the Holder's mind and take over the link. This is also called a Switch since the places of Receiver and Holder are, as I'm sure is obvious, switched. I have also explained the act of a Split, as well as the negatives and positives thereof. Now we will use these fundamentals to explore a few more options that a Holder may have to either control the thoughts travelling across the Link or protect parts of one's mind from the Receiver.
"Here we assume that the Receiver has managed to form a decent enough Link – one that is strong enough to momentarily stun the Holder to allow time for recovery of the Receiver and for adequate entrance into the Holder's mind. Once this has happened, the Holder will experience as much power as the Receiver deems is necessary to put the Holder into a state of submission. If, and only if, the Receiver is using their full power and this power feels, to the Holder, to be small, then the Holder can force the Receiver out of their minds. Are you with me, Miss Weasley?"
"Yes Sir, I'm in the same class as you and therefore with you," Ginny said as her hand continued to scribble notes, trying desperately to follow. Snape allowed a small sneer to grace the smallest corner of his lip. She was annoyed that he had interrupted himself. What a thought. He should remember to do it more often just because it annoyed her so.
"I am not undermining your intelligence, Miss Weasley. In fact, I think some would say that I am over confident in your intellectual abilities."
Ginny grit her teeth hard, trying not to let the words come out that so desperately wanted to.
"You think this is all I've got?" she whispered despite her efforts. "That this is all I can do? Try me! Professor, I don't want a chance. A chance means that you can screw it up. I'm asking for you to try me, and if I fail then toss me in the rubbish like you would a bad piece of parchment. Because then you're right. Then I'm really not 'intellectual' at all."
Snape stared hard at Ginny Weasley. Her head had not lifted from her paper once, her hand had not faltered for a second, and her eyes had continued to travel the page following her own written words. Maybe there was hope for her yet. But he had to push her.
"Miss Weasley, I do not think I would want you in my waste paper bin. Trash should stay where it belongs."
Ginny froze. Her eyes, her hand, her head. Everything was deadly still. Just her hair floated about her face in a non-existent breeze.
"Then I will have to prove to you that I am not trash."
"NO!" Snape strode the few meters between them in three long strides and slammed his hand over her paper. The ink bottle on the corner of the desk jumped with the impact and landed back on the table with a twirl of its round edge. There was silence as the bottle spun faster as it flattened out until it finally rested with a slosh of ink running down its edge. Ginny was finally looking up into Snape's angry eyes.
"No?" she asked.
"No," agreed Snape. "No, you must not prove this to me. You are doing this to prove it to yourself. You don't believe in yourself Miss Weasley. That, above all else, is the key to your mind. To believe that you can do it. That you can overpower the other person. The moment your mind falters. The moment one tiny thought of despair enters your mind, will be the moment that you fall. A thought is like a seed. It can be planted there by many means, most commonly by ourselves. And once there, it grows and spreads and its roots crack through our minds into every part of it until your mind is the thought and the thought is real. Do not let that seed be planted there by others. And, more importantly, do not let it be planted there by yourself."
Ginny gulped. Professor Snape sounded kind of scary.
"Yes, Sir."
"Now, back to the section at hand. Force. It is the most common way to repel someone from your mind. In fact, it is the original response that the body has when it feels the power of a Link," Professor Snape removed his hand from Ginny's parchment and placed it neatly with his other behind his back. He talked while he walked back to his position next to the blackboard and resumed his teaching stance. Ginny picked up her quill once more, dipped it into the ink pot, and began scribbling once again, looking up every now and again to stare at Professor Snape in renewed awe.
"Force, although common and the body's natural defence, must be controlled. The body will automatically feel the intent of the Link; the memory that the Link is searching for. Once this has been detected, it will want to, just as automatically, give up the memory that the link is searching for. This must be controlled. A memory must not just be given up, it must be fought for. In this way, the Holder can gauge more from the intent of the Recipient. What does this person want with this memory is an important question to answer, so that one can formulate a plan afterwards to counteract the newly gained knowledge of their enemy. Force also refers to when one purposefully forces certain of their thoughts through. This can be done by solely thinking of one aspect. Often, the image of a strong and sturdy wall is used, and it will then be up to the Receiver to break through this barricade before the Link can reach the memory. Also used to good effect is music. This both creates a barrier to the Recipient as well as confuses the Link as music creates multiple images through both its words, rhythm and melody. Using force is a contest of wills, and this is why belief in oneself is very important. If, however, the Recipient is not concerned with a single memory, but is searching through another's mind on the off-chance of finding something, it is very easy for them to identify hidden thoughts and memories through the barricades that the Holder will automatically put up to protect those hidden thoughts or memories. The secret of Force, is to not use anything at all. It is to stop oneself of thinking completely. To clear one's mind of all thoughts and emotions and to leave one blank. This way, the Recipient can roam the Holder's mind as much as they like, and never find anything. This is the ultimate Force as it not only forces oneself into thinking nothing, but also forces the Recipient into believing that there is nothing to find. This will make the Recipient try harder, increasing the power that they put into the Link, and will eventually result in the Recipient breaking the Link. By using Force, the Holder too can break the Link and push the Recipient out of their mind. If the Link is broken, the Recipient has little option but to withdraw. If they do not withdraw, but the Link breaks, the part of the Link still connected to the Holder will stay there, and the Recipient would lose a part of their mind. But it takes energy to break a Link. Normally, a Recipient would rather withdraw the Link than break it."
Ginny scribbled furiously as she tried to grasp this new concept of Force. But using nothing as a force was not something that she could get her mind around easily.
"Professor, how does one empty their minds?" she asked.
"You simply think of nothing."
"How do you do that? What is nothing?"
"Miss Weasley, when I touch you, what do you feel?"
Dawning comprehension crept over Ginny's face.
"I feel nothing," she said.
"How do you know that you are feeling nothing?"
"Because my mind is my own. My body is my own. I am in full control."
"In a sense," said Snape, picking at the skin along his nail with his thumb in a bored fashion, as if anyone one step above daft should know this, "you feel calm. You have a sense of peace within you. If there is nothing in your head, there is nothing to think about."
"So I just have to imagine that sense of calmness and then my mind will be emptied?" asked Ginny. "Is it really that easy?"
"Easy? Miss Weasley, just because you can experience my power when you touch me, does not mean that you will experience it when you imagine me touching you. It takes much strength and willpower to calm one's thoughts. No emotions can intrude. No thoughts can enter and build in your mind. Nothing, Miss Weasley, is hardly easy."
"But I can do it, right?" she asked, almost pleading.
"If you want to, you can. But you will have to practice. Every night before bed, clear your mind of all thought. Empty your head. Become calm."
Ginny fidgeted with her quill, looking at it hard as if asking it the question forming in her head would give her the answer she needed. Eventually she looked up at Professor Snape, her expression never changing from the hard glare she had given her quill, and asked, "How do you do it, sir? How do you clear your mind of all thoughts?"
Snape, caught slightly off guard by the question, had to think for a moment. How did he do it? He wasn't too sure – he just did. But telling the girl that would not satisfy her, and he could not upset her, not now that their relationship was just beginning to bloom into this fragile friendship that he had worked so hard to form. So what could he tell her? That his cold anger and fury and bitterness was too much to bear, thus leaving him no choice but to banish the thoughts away from him? That he could not face himself and so he ran away from the very things inside of his head? That his actions were so cruel that they rendered his mind numb whether it wanted to be like that or not? That thinking of nothing was the only way to keep the demons at bay? No, he could not say any of that to her. He needed her to think that he cared. He did, in a small way, care for the girl. But he needed her to think that he really cared. So how to tell her? What did he do when he was first starting out with his own Occlumensy learning. He had learnt from a book, having had no one care enough to teach him. The book had been barely useful, but it had started him off with a good clue: "A mantra," he said eventually. "A few sets of words that put me into a calming state. They are born from a memory. Thinking first of that memory, then of the mantra, puts me into a state of serenity where nothing can touch me because I am nothing."
"What about the memory that you use? Isn't that thinking of something?"
"Eventually you will not have to recall that memory. All you will have to do is repeat the mantra to yourself and the feeling associated with it will flood through you."
"How does a person make a mantra?" asked Ginny, sitting up straight.
"Ah, I see a chance for a homework assignment," Snape's mouth tilted sideways in half a sneer and half a smile. "For our next lesson, find out what a Mantra is, and make one of your own. Have a few ready so that I can test them on you."
"Test them on me, Sir?" asked Ginny with more than a little wobble in her voice.
"Yes, Miss Weasley. For our next lesson, we will begin the more practical side of these classes. Be prepared to block your mind from me."
"B-but, Professor Snape, we haven't finished all of the theory yet!" the fear leaked through both her voice and her eyes.
"No," agreed Professor Snape slowly with an amused gleam in his eyes. "We have not yet finished all of the theory. But the other options to save the Holder from the Receiver will not be here for you in this classroom. It will be up to you to choose of those methods that I have already taught you."
Ginny nodded her head stiffly. Once more they both squinted suddenly as the light from the rising sun hit the blackboard and they had to shield their eyes. As per usual, their lesson was done. Ginny gathered her notes together and walked slowly towards the door thinking of Force and nothing and mantras.
She turned quickly before leaving and asked, "Sir, are we friends?"
Snape blinked twice before answering, "If you want us to be."
She nodded her head again before disappearing behind the door.
Snape watched as the door closed behind her and sighed. It was more difficult "being nice" than he had expected. His reflexes were to automatically snap at people. He hadn't realised how much of a habit it had become for him, nor had he realised how much some of his words affected people. Should he try being nicer to people?
No. What was the point? If everyone was "nice" then they wouldn't have the "good" people that the world needed. He smirked to himself. They wouldn't have the "bad" people in the world either.
No. He would not be nicer. He would keep the students at the ready. On their toes. Readying them with the knowledge and practical experience that they needed. He would do that for them even if they hated him for it.
Still smirking, Snape walked quietly to the window that looked out over the school grounds. The rising sun looked golden as it spread its rays across the misty lake and grass. Somewhere near the forest, Snape could hear Fang barking loudly. It was an unpleasant sound that marred the beautiful scene. Snape didn't like that. Why was that dog barking so darn loudly at such an ungodly hour?
Berating himself for his already long striding footsteps, Snape gave no second glance as his makeshift classroom disappeared behind him, and as he strode purposefully down through the castle and along the grounds heading for Hagrid's Hut.
. . .
Fang whimpered and scattered the leaves underfoot as the mangy mutt scrabbled to hide behind Snape's skinny legs.
After having walked all the way to Hagrid's Hut and then spent ten of his precious minutes banging on the large man's front door, Snape had been less than pleased to be answered by no one. But then Fang had spotted him, bounded up to him eagerly and slobbered more than normal over his hand. Snape knew the dog well. Fang had a story of his own, and not a pretty one either until he was adopted by Hagrid. And as such, Snape knew that something was troubling the dog. He had said as much to the dog – not knowing if Fang was catching anything that he was saying through the whimpers and whines – but then Fang had quickly padded his way to the forest. Snape had followed.
And now he was here. Oh how did he get himself into these stupid predicaments?
"GRAWP!" Hagrid yelled at his half-brother. "THA'S NOT WHAT YOU DO WITH CENTAURS! PUT HIM DOWN!"
"Hagrid," hissed Snape with as much venom in his voice as possible, "you do know what the herd will do when they hear about this event."
"Yeah, Professor!" yelled Hagrid over his shoulder, still trying to grab for the centaur held high by Grawp. Grawp gave a hearty chuckle that sent vibrations through the ground, and held the centaur yet higher. Fang, still hiding behind Snape's legs, gave a whimper of fear.
"Why, Hagrid, is your brother playing with a centaur?"
"Well, ye see, Professor," panted Hagrid as he now tried to shimmy up a tree to reach the new height of the dangling centaur, "I told ye he was bored! 'N then when this guy showed up, Grawpy just wanted to play!" He leant over too far, reaching with all his might for the centaur, and just when it looked like he had him, Hagrid's large hand grasped thin air and he toppled from the tree, landing hard on his face with an unpleasant moan. Snape covered his face with his hand and shook his head at the dim-witted fool's attempts to get the centaur down. The centaur, in the mean time, must have fainted because he could no longer hear the high squeals and death threats that it had been issuing the whole time while in Grawp's large hand.
"Alright Hagrid," Snape sighed as he stepped forward, his hand withdrawing his wand from his sleeve in a flurry of motion. "Please step back."
Hagrid hurried to obey and scrambled back to the edge of the clearing. Grawp, momentarily confused by his new toy's lack of responses whenever he squeezed it, was staring hard at the centaur and applying more and more pressure around the creature's midriff.
Snape lazily lifted his wand at a nearby fallen tree and sent an unspoken spell towards it that made it shine a sudden red, and then at the centaur which went a bright blue. Using his arms in a circular motion, the chosen red log lifted to the same height of the blue centaur and with a pop that sounded similar to the sound of a person disapparating, the log was all of a sudden in Grawp's hands and the centaur was floating in the air. Snape lowered the centaur carefully to the ground as Grawp yelled in fury as he realised what was in his hands. Grawp threw the log in a firm over-arm bowl, and Snape heard as it landed far off in the distance of the forest. Birds flew up in the air in alarm and squawked, but Snape had more pressing matters at hand now; he had an angry Giant to watch out for.
"Hagrid," Snape said calmly as Grawp roared in his anger, "I think you will have to take this centaur back to your Hut, and then wait for me there. Do not let the centaur leave until I arrive, do you hear me, Hagrid?"
"Alrigh' Professor!" agreed Hagrid, giving shifty glances from the scrawny man to Grawp. But he didn't say anything more as he ran for the centaur and lifted it firmly over his shoulders, pausing only once more to look back at the Professor before he disappeared out of the clearing, Fang bounding after him with loud whimpers.
The only two left in the clearing was Snape and the roaring Grawp. Snape could feel his temple start to pulse as his adrenaline began building in his chest. It had been a while since he had felt this type of rush. Both Dumbledore and The Dark Lord had been keeping him in the dark, not allowing him to venture further than the walls of Hogwarts. But that was ok. The walls of Hogwarts were as far as he needed to be to catch his thrills.
He turned his wand on himself.
"Engorgio" he said and watched as his whole body and attire grew to the size of Hagrid. He smirked as he looked down at his large hands, and pulled them into a hard fist. But being larger was not going to help him. He needed something more than that.
Grawp had stopped his roaring to watch as the pipsqueak man before him grew larger. His lopsided mouth stayed open in confusion as the man again pointed his wand at himself.
"Corpus argentumini munimentum" he said loudly, allowing a sudden shoot of hot air to travel over his whole body. He flexed his hands once more and was pleased to see that the spell had not altered his movement. The sun caught him at an angle and his skin shone a silver sheen. His body was covered in a layer of silver protection.
The light fascinated the giant, but at the same time the giant didn't like the wand. The wand was bad. The wand made bad things happen.
Snape seemed to recognise the animosity that Grawp held towards his wand as he placed the small implement carefully on the edge of the clearing. This partially calmed Grawp down, but now he was eying Snape with a mixture of confusion and excitement. He could tell that Snape had something planned with him.
Indeed, Snape turned to the giant and stared hard at him. He didn't know Giant, although he knew more than a few swear words in the language – not difficult considering they were mostly roars and grunts – but he did know a language that all living things understood; and so Severus Snape stared hard at Grawp and with as much power as he had, he shouted "Legilimens!"
He was inside the Giant's head before Grawp knew what was happening. But reading the mind of a giant was not like that of a human. He had to act fast before he was Forced out. Instead of drawing memories from Grawp, Snape threw his idea into Grawp's mind, thoughts and ideas swirling across his Link to place them firmly into the forefront of the giant's head. Grawp stopped struggling against the link as the ideas came to him, and his happiness leaked through back to Snape. So, the Giant liked the idea. But then Grawp threw an image towards Snape; Hagrid. As well as the image of Hagrid, Snape had the impression of distaste. He understood; Grawp did not want Hagrid to know about their arrangement. Agreement oozed between the Link from both sides before Snape easily withdrew from Grawp's mind with closed eyes.
Well that had been an experience, he thought to himself. But then he wondered what the toll would be on his body, and sure enough as soon as he opened his eyes, the world swam before him. It had taken much more energy to keep the Link with the giant than it did with normal people. He wasn't pushing himself enough. Everyone else was out in the world training and learning, and he had grown stale with only students around him for stimulation. Perhaps this new relationship that he had formed with the giant would be a symbiotic one.
Grawp roared and Snape was brought back to focus quickly as the giant took to all four of his feet. Snape wasn't too sure what he had just agreed to, but he knew that he didn't have time to wonder about that now. He too fell to his hands and knees, his enlarged body taught and ready to react.
First, he would gauge the levels of his new found hobby. Speed. Strength. Agility. Those were the three that he needed to work on the most. Grawp already had Fighter blood in him. That meant that his fighting style was vicious and automatic, no thought put into it. But fighting against something bigger than Grawp would mean that he needed to be stronger. He needed to be faster. He needed to react quicker. And so that was what Snape would work on. He would show Grawp how he should react. Grawp must learn from what Snape did and then mirror that.
But that would have to wait until he knew what level Grawp was on.
Grawp began to pull himself backwards like a diver awaiting the gun. The forest was deathly quiet. Snape could think only of his rushing heart and how everything before him had taken on a red tinge. He knew that he was weaker than the giant. But that was why he had put the corpus argentumini munimentum spell over his body. Now even if he got hit, it was the spell that would take the damage and not him. But that spell took a lot of energy to make, adding to his weariness after using Legilimens on the giant as well. But that didn't matter. The giant would not kill him. He hoped.
A bird chirped.
As if this was the sign Grawp had been waiting for, he sprang forwards, digging his hind legs into the ground and pushing against the dents that he had made. Snape had been ready for it. He threw himself sideways and into a roll that brought him up where Grawp had just left. Grawp, unable to control his momentum, crashed into the trees, taking two down with him. Grawp roared in his anger and shook his head free of leaves as he turned and faced Snape again.
He pushed himself once more from the ground and flew upwards into the air. His shadow covered Snape for just a second before Grawp's weight brought him crashing down to the ground. Once more, Snape rolled away and was up on his feet and ready again. Again Grawp roared his fury.
"You have to watch my movements!" yelled Snape. Working with dunderheads all the time was too much for him! "Do not react until you see me move!"
Grawp stared at him in confusion, but he did not do anything. He stood rooted to the spot, staring hard at Snape. Snape took this to mean that the giant understood some of what he was saying. Small words, he told himself with a smirk.
And then he moved. And Grawp moved. And in two strides they were locked in a fierce struggle. Snape knew he had no possible way of winning, but he had to measure Grawp's strength, so he grit his teeth. He tasted blood in his mouth. He pushed harder with his arms and realised that all of the pressure was towards his upper half. Using his leg he twisted it around the giant's huge trunk-like leg and hit the spot behind Grawp's knee. The leg gave way and Grawp tumbled to the ground, releasing Snape as he did so. Snape jumped backwards, and watched as the giant grumpily got to his feet.
Amused, Snape watched the sulking giant.
But he was tired in any case. It was not every day that a man faced off against a giant. So he stared hard at Grawp again and again shouted, "Legilimens!" and entered Grawp's mind. He pushed his weariness through to the giant and let the giant know that he was pleased with the results of the battle. Struggling against his tired mind, he also pushed along the Link his idea: training the giant to fight cleverly. He was amused as he felt the giant at first resist the idea after his first failed attempt to overcome a man, but then Snape assured him that he would not be putting himself into that much danger again. Instead, he showed the image of Grawp battling against large tree trunks that had been magicked to fight him by Snape. Grawp didn't like that idea either, but preferred it to fighting with Snape.
Snape quickly withdrew his mind from Grawp's, his mind as tired as his body. He walked carefully to his wand and used it to release the two spells that he had put on himself. He felt a cold shiver as the silver protection lifted itself from his body and disappeared into a thin mist. He looked to his hand, once again its normal size, and hated that it was shaking. Yes, he was weak. Three spells and he was already nearing his limit.
To his disgust, Grawp patted him on his head, forcing his knees to buckle. He looked up in distaste at the giant who was laughing at him as he kneeled on the ground, but shook his head. He had beaten the giant.
"Next week I will come again," Snape said loudly to Grawp, wondering if Grawp at all understood what Snape was saying.
Grawp nodded his large stupid head and lay down. Snape raised an eyebrow as he felt a large puff of hot air hit him; Grawp was already asleep!
He sighed and got to his feet and wearily headed back towards Hagrid's Hut.
. . .
Once again, how the hell did he get himself into these predicaments?
It was one of the side-effects of using corpus argentumini munimentum. But he hadn't realised that it would be this bad. It must have been because he had enlarged his body before putting the spell over him. But why it was only reacting now was beyond him, it was supposed to be an immediate effect and then last barely a few minutes. This was much more than a few minutes!
He had gone back to Hagrid's Hut, erased the centaur's memory of the unfortunate event with Grawp and then made his way back to his dark dungeon classroom. He had felt that if he ate anything, he would most likely throw it right up, that was how tired he had been. And so he had slumped into his teaching chair behind his desk, and fallen asleep.
But now he was awake.
And now he had a noisy class awaiting him outside.
And now the darn side-effect of that stupid body protection charm was taking its toll on his body.
He was itchy. Everywhere. All over. On every part of him. Hell, even the insides of his ears were itching!
But he had to appear calm. He had to face the class, give them their task, and then run away very quickly! But that was easier said than done. He had to stop twitching!
He calmed his mind and focused on breathing. The itch was still there. Still everywhere. But he could concentrate so long as no one interrupted him. He had to do this smoothly then.
"Enter!" he snapped at the door and watched as the fourth years traipsed in. "No dawdling!" he said quickly again as he felt his toe throb with the need to be scratched. He stood hard onto his own foot, thankful for the desk separating him from his students.
"Page eighty-two! Read the theory! Memorise the ingredients and the process! Next lesson you will have to brew this potion without the use of your book!" he snapped as quickly as he could as he restrained himself from scratching his thigh. "No questions? Good!" but he was wrong. He scolded himself for thinking otherwise. Of course there was a question. Ginny Weasely, sitting at her customary seat along the wall, had picked up her hand.
"Sir," she said boldly, and Snape couldn't help but think, please no, Ginny. Not now. Not in front of everyone. I have to get out of this classroom. I can't take it anymore. Please Ginny! Please! But Ginny didn't catch anything through the dark eyes of the potion's master. All that she saw was the skilled blank face that she always did, and the dark black eyes that pierced as per usual. "You said that today we would be doing th – " Snape had to stop her. He honestly couldn't take it anymore. His skin was burning the itchiness of it was too much. And hell freeze over if he was going to start twitching in front of a bunch of fourth years!
"I know what I said Miss Weasley!" he snapped. "But people change their minds! I just did!" and with a flurry of robes he strode to his quarters and locked himself in.
Firmly behind the closed door, Snape began rummaging around his quarters looking for the ingredients he needed.
Back in the classroom, Ginny stared at the closed door, Snape's words running through her head. "But people change their minds! I just did!"
(A/N: And so? I'm a little bit, er, concerned (if that's the right word to use,) about Snape wrestling with a Giant. But Grawp is supposed to be small and if Hagrid can control him relatively well then I'm sure that Snape in all of his amazingness can too! But let me know! To all of my reviewers, you're awesome! I always reply if you let me (ie: PM must be activated.) Can't wait for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2! Wonderwhiterabbit hopping off)