Things had definitely slowed down and Caitlin was in a sort of holding pattern. The contractions were slowly picking up in pace and strength but she was only at 8 centimeters. She watched from the bed as Alvin walked around the room with a dressed Gabriel in his arms. While waiting for twin A to join them, she had been able to breastfeed and Gabriel was satiated.
"He's beautiful", said Alvin as he looked at him.
"Yes he is, he's perfect. Just like his dad".
The fetal heart monitor's alarm rang and within seconds, Nancy entered the room.
"What's going on"? asked a panicked Caitlin.
"Twin A must have shifted", she said as she removed the captor and lowered it to find the heartbeat. It came back up on the monitor.
"See", said Nancy, "nothing to worry about".
Caitlin and Alvin looked at each other and gave a sigh of relief.
Just as Nancy reached the door, the alarm sounded again. She turned heels and looked at it. Only this time, it was capturing the heartbeat. It was a different kind of alarm.
Another nurse came in and Nancy looked at her. "We've got decels on twin A. Page Dr. Baxter".
"What's going on"? said an even more panicked Caitlin.
Alvin put Gabriel down in his baby cot and walked over to Caitlin.
"I'm going to have a quick look, Ok Caitlin'? said Nancy as she put on a pair of gloves. "Nice and relaxed for me".
Before Nancy could say anything, Dr. Baxter walked in hastily. "Talk to me Nancy".
"I've got a prolapsed cord", said Nancy as she looked at him. Caitlin and Alvin could see from the look on her face that it was serious.
"What's going on"? asked Alvin.
Dr. Baxter moved in closer. "Nancy, whatever you do, don't move your hand from there. Caitlin, Alvin, a prolapsed cord means that the umbilical cord is coming out before the baby and the baby's head is applying pressure on it, not allowing enough blood flow or oxygen to the baby".
"Oh my God", said Caitlin weakly.
Dr. Baxter looked at the other nurse. "Get me an OR now, we're going in for a crash C-section". He then looked at Nancy. "Get up on that bed and keep applying pressure". Still with her hand inside Caitlin, Nancy climbed on the bed. Instantly more nurses walked into the room, adding additional stress and panic.
"OR 3 is ready", said the second nurse.
"Let's go.. go..go"! said Baxter as they wheeled Caitlin out of the room. Alvin stayed at her side as they ran down a long corridor, leading to split doors. The doors opened and as they passed through them one of the nurses stopped Alvin.
"I'm sorry Al, you can't go with us".
"What"? he said as he watched the gurney continue down the corridor.
She gently pushed him back behind the doors. "I'm sorry". The doors closed between them and locked.
"Let's get her hooked up to the monitors ASAP", said Dr. Baxter. "I'm scrubbing in".
The anesthesiologist looked at him. "Are we going in for full anesthesia"?
"We don't have time, she's still has the epidural, push in another dose and get Peds in here stat"!
Caitlin's entire body shook, her heart was beating at a 100 mph and she was crying. "Please, save my baby", she whispered.
[I decided to add lyrics to a song which I find suits this moment. It will come between 'shot's in bold and italics. The song is This Woman's Work by Kate Bush]
Alvin stood in front of the doors feeling helpless, lost and scared that he might never see either one of them alive again.
Pray God you can cope.
I stand outside this woman's work,
This woman's world.
Ooh, it's hard on the man,
Now his part is over.
Now starts the craft of the father.
He walked back towards the room and realized that a nurse had taken Gabriel to the nursery. He walked into the waiting room like a zombie, his heart tearing up at the seams.
They all stood when he walked in, with smiles on their faces, but seeing how disheartened and lost he was, their mood suddenly changed. Hank walked over to him. The rest of them watched from afar as the two men talked and then Alvin collapsed into Hank's arms.
Dr. Baxter stood at the end of the operating table, scalpel in hand. "Start the clock. Incision of the skin".
Alvin sat in the waiting room among the others. His mind on Caitlin and how he couldn't imagine his life without her.
Caitlin felt tugging and pulling.
"Baby's out", said Dr. Baxter. He handed the baby over to the pediatric team. Nancy looked at Caitlin. "It's a girl".
Caitlin tried to see where she was but couldn't. "She's not crying, why isn't she crying"!?
She then heard the pediatrician. "Let's get some oxygen flowing. Apgar score is at 4".
Caitlin shut her eyes and started to cry.
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.
Alvin sat with this head between his knees, feeling as though he were unable to breathe.
I should be crying, but I just can't let it show.
I should be hoping, but I can't stop thinking.
Caitlin suddenly felt dizzy and weak and started to phase out as she heard her daughter's cry.
"Increase suction. Give me more lap pads. Her uterus is atonic and not contracting. She's losing too much blood. Start the O neg. And inject 30 of Oxytocin"!
A nurse walked into the waiting room and walked towards Alvin. He stood instantly.
"How are they"?
"Your daughter, had a difficult start but is doing great, they're keeping her in observation just a bit longer. You'll be able to see her soon".
Par of the battle had been won. Their second child, a baby girl, was doing great.
"And Caitlin"?
"I'm afraid that there are complications. They're still working on her".
Alvin felt the wind blown out of him, he was unable to say a word.
"What kind of complications are we talking about"? said Hank taking over for his friend.
"Her uterus is not reacting the way it should be and she's losing a lot of blood".
"What if they can't get it under control"? asked Meredith.
"They may need to perform a hysterectomy to save her life".
"Are you saying that she could die"? asked Hank realizing that they were slowly starting to lose Alvin.
"Again, they're doing everything they can. I need to get back".
Alvin took a few steps back, his eyes wide open in fear. He found himself with his back to the wall and then he slid down and sat on the ground sobbing.
Everyone looked at each other, no one knew what to say or do. The news had hit them all hard.
Meredith walked over and sat down next to him. She put her arm around him.
"I can't lose another person I love", he said sobbing.
"I know. She's strong and she's a fighter. I know she won't give up".
"Still atonic, push another 30 of oxytocin and if things don't improve we won't have any other option than to do a hysterectomy", said Dr. Baxter as he looked at his intern. "Keep the O neg flowing".
The alarms sounded. The anesthesiologist looked at Baxter. "We're losing her. Her BP is dropping as well as heartrate".
Baxter looked over the green cloth screen at Caitlin. "Come on Caitlin, hang in there just a little bit longer".
Alvin held on to Caitlin's engagement ring, that they had removed before she went into the OR. He put it around his finger.
Of all the things I should've said,
That I never said.
All the things we should've done,
That we never did.
All the things I should've given,
But I didn't.
Oh, darling, make it go,
Make it go away.
Flashes of the times he had pushed her away came into his head. The things he had said to push her away from him. Had he told her enough that he loved her? Had he shown her?
Give me these moments back.
Give them back to me.
Give me that little kiss.
Give me your hand.
He thought back to all the happy moments they'd had. When he'd kissed her for the first time. When she had told him that she wanted to be with him. When he had told her he loved her. When he had found out she was pregnant and he had proposed. How he would watch her sleep, how he would steal a kiss when she least expected it. He would give anything to still have those moments with her!
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.
As a tear fell from Alvin's eye towards the ground, drops of blood landed and splattered on the OR floor.
I should be crying, but I just can't let it show.
I should be hoping, but I can't stop thinking
Of all the things we should've said,
That were never said.
All the things we should've done,
That we never did.
All the things that you needed from me.
All the things that you wanted for me.
All the things that I should've given,
But I didn't.
Oh, darling, make it go away.
Just make it go away now.
Alvin paced around the waiting room floor. It had been two hours since they had headed for the OR and more than hour since the nurse had come to give them news.
Dr. Baxter and his intern walked into the waiting room. Dr. Baxter removed his surgical cap and walked towards Alvin. Alvin shook. He wasn't ready to hear what Dr. Baxter could be telling him.
"She's in recovery. She gave us quite a scare but she's a fighter".
Alvin felt the weight of the world remove itself from his shoulders and back. "So, she's OK"?
"Yes. She'll make a full recovery". Dr. Baxter paused. "And you'll still be able to have children".
"Thank you so much", said Al as he shook Dr. Baxter's hand.
Once he and his intern had left the waiting room, Alvin, Hank and the others hugged.
Dr. Baxter looked at his intern as they stopped by the recovery room.
"She's got one hell of a guardian angel watching over her", said his intern.
"I think she's got more than one", said Dr. Baxter.
Dr. Baxter couldn't have been more right. She had five guardian angels: her father, Camille, Justin, Antonio and Lexi!