Disclaimer: It all belongs to SM. We're only the puppeteers.
A/N: This chapter doesn't require the use of your flashlights. Promise.
A couple of things for those of you who are going to (or already have) donated to the Fandom For Preemies and have read (or going to read) our outtake. There is a song reference in there that we (and by "we" I mean Siobhan2006), forgot to credit where she got the idea for that particular lyric. VegaTenshi gave us that idea and we want to make sure that credit is given to her for her plain fuckawesomness :)
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"Check my vital signs and know I'm still alive, and I walk alone." -Greenday
BPOV
"Open your mouth."
I struggled fruitlessly against the bonds that had my hands immobile behind my back which were bound to my ankles. I was on my stomach on some sort of cold, metal table wearing only a red bow around my neck.
"Aw, she's a fighter. Fight while you can little Bella, we'll fuck it out of you."
Beep...Beep
My eyes widened as the man in the mask grabbed my jaw forcibly in his hand, prying my lips apart with his dirty fingers. I could taste the dirt and sweat there and I struggled to bite the fingers that were invading my mouth.
"No!" I screamed.
Unfortunately that's just what they were waiting for. In that split second that my mouth opened the masked man thrust his penis inside and down my throat causing me to choke and gag around him.
"Breathe through your nose." He grunted, still forcing himself down my throat to the hilt.
Beep..Beep..Beep
"Heart rate is accelerating."
"Panic attack."
"Dude, you have got to feel her hot little mouth wrapped around you. She's like nothing I've ever felt before." The masked man said through his teeth, his head thrown back in ecstasy.
I violently shook my head 'no' as the masked man looked over the top of my head, ignoring my silent plea.
"How about I stick my dick in her pussy and then we'll trade off." The unknown man suggested.
The masked man thrust his cock deeper in my throat before ripping off his mask.
"Do it." He commanded.
I looked up into the eyes of my attacker and gasped as his features were frozen in my brain. The blondish hair pulled back in a pony tail with a sneer on his face. It was the same man that I saw before in the living room at Jasper's place.
"No!" I screamed loudly just as I felt a surge of pain from behind me.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
"Blood pressure sky rocketed."
"Hit her lower back on the nightstand when she fell. That will leave a nice bruise."
"Sedating her now."
"I'll see you soon, Isabella."
I struggled against the darkness that was trying to take over my brain and could vaguely hear the voices surrounding me. Even then it was only bits and piecesIt was the last voice that I heard that I tried to cling to. He might have been my captor but he was also the only one who had the power to make that nightmare become my reality and I would do anything it took to keep that from happening. I tried in vain to open my eyes against the sedation that I could feel overcoming my body, but it was to no use. Instead I surrendered to the darkness and would hopefully leave my nightmare behind.
Hours later...
Disoriented and confusion were the two emotions I had coursing through me as I blinked against the bright light in the room. It didn't take me more than two seconds to realize that I was back in the guest room, in the bed. Just like before when I slept in this very same bed to recover from my failed escape attempt.
What in the hell happened?
I tried to sit up slowly but found that I couldn't. Confused, I looked down to see that I was strapped to the bed. There were thick pieces of blue straps across my chest, stomach, knee caps and ankles. And my wrists were tied to either side of the bed. It was then that my survival instincts kicked in and my body began thrashing against the confinements. I could vaguely hear a loud piercing sound, but even that didn't really compute inside my head. All that I could hear was the sound of my heartbeat in my ears and a tiny voice, that sounded oddly like Charlie, telling me to run for my life.
"Calm yourself Isabella!" A voice commanded me from the side.
"Do you want the doctor to come in here and sedate you again?" He asked.
I looked to my right to see Jasper standing beside the bed, a look of alarm on his face. It was when I made eye contact with him that the shrilling sound stopped, but then my throat began to burn intensely. Oh, it was me. I was screaming? I must have looked confused because Jasper's face went from alarmed to calm in a split second.
"You're fine." He said running his hand over my hair, "We had to confine you so that you wouldn't hurt yourself again." He explained.
"Master," I whispered in a panic, "I don't understand. What happened?"
I blinked away the tears that were threatening to escape and clenched my fists tightly so that I could feel my nails digging into the palms of my hands. The pain almost made me want to cry tears of joy. Pain meant that I was still alive. It meant that I could still feel, as vague as that sounded. But then another part of me wanted to weep in sadness. It almost meant that I was still trapped in this life as a slave, never to be free again.
"You fainted when we got back here." Jasper said, oblivious to my inner battle, "We got you up to the guest room where you then proceeded to have a nightmare and flipped out of the bed, hitting your back on the nightstand. You'll probably be sore there for a while, by the way." he added, "We had to strap you down and then sedate you to calm you down. It was that or put you in the hospital."
I didn't say anything more as he continued to look at me with a blank expression on his face. My heart was beginning to slow and my breathing became regular once more. Fainted. That happened to me a lot it seemed like. But then again, anyone who had to witness the things I did probably would have done the same. I quickly shoved the images of the girls flesh burning and her screams out of my head as a wave of nausea coursed through me. I felt a tingling in my cheeks as my face drained of color and knew that I was about to be sick. As if sensing my panic, Jasper pulled out a pink basin right in time as I turned my head to the side and was instantly sick in it. I coughed and sputtered and dry heaved until there was nothing left inside my stomach to let out. Tears streamed down my cheeks as the humiliation burned within me.
I didn't even register the sound of the restraints coming undone as Jasper made quick work of them before gathering me in his arms. I sniffled and struggled against him weakly before giving up. It was no use. Instead I grabbed onto his shirt with my fist and buried my head in his shirt and cried. I felt weak, not only physically but emotionally. And that thought only made me cry harder. I knew that I had reason to fear Jasper, what with all the talk of the firearms and explosive devices that he spoke of when he was in his office, but it never really hit home for me just how much I really had to fear. He said he would never take me against my will, but he was a man. And I was a woman who was not going to give into him sexually, so what happens when he gets fed up with waiting for me to 'come around'? What happens when he finally sees that I would never give in to his neanderthal ways? He could change his mind on everything. He could end up raping me, branding me and even gang raping me, just like that poor girl we saw yesterday. Who was to say that he would keep his word when he said he would never do that to me? Another thought that struck me was the fact that he could still sell me and I could end up like those other girls.
He was right in one aspect though. With him, I was definitely treated better than those girls at the auction. But it didn't change the fact that we were all the same. We were all slaves. And we were in this life until we died. I felt Jasper's arms tighten around me and I reveled in the feeling of some physical intimacy. It had been so long since I had a hug, or even just a touch of affection that I didn't realize just how much my body had missed it. I was sick. I was getting twisted and I was almost as fucked up as the man holding me. He kidnapped me. He was holding me against my will and here I was clinging to him like a child, just begging him with my actions to hold me closer and to never let me go. I relied on him to keep me safe, to feed me...I even relied on him for my bathroom needs. I relied on him in every sense of the word and I hated to admit it but even in the worst of times, he had never neglected me to the point of abuse... Not yet, at least.
"Calm down, mi chica bonita," He whispered into my hair, "I've got you."
Yes. He does have me. In more ways than one.
"Let go." He commanded of me, gently removing my hands from their fist iron grasp of his, now crinkled, white shirt.
I straightened out my fingers and gasped as pain shot straight through them. I didn't realize that I was holding on so tightly. Jasper then set me down on the cold tile floor of the bathroom on my feet where he then proceeded to fill up the bathtub full of water. I stood there in a trance and watched as he bent over the tub, his arms moving around and putting things into the water. What he put in there though, I couldn't tell you. It was like I was on autopilot and my brain was only letting me see what it wanted me to. So much so that I didn't even see when Jasper was no longer bending over the tub but was instead directly in front of me.
"Arms up." He said.
Like an obedient slave, my arms went above my head before I could even register their movements. Auto pilot for sure.
I stared straight ahead of me at Jasper's shirt covered chest as he slowly slipped my dress over my head, leaving me in nothing but the lacy underwear. My nipples pebbled against the cold air, but I couldn't find the muscles in my arms to cover myself. Instead my arms hung limply by my sides as my legs lifted up one by one so that he could remove the panties. What was happening to me? I felt a tug on my upper arm and looked back to Jasper to see that he was trying to guide me over to the tub. Mildly surprised that I didn't even see him move, I followed him to the tub and climbed in as he suggested.
"Lay back."
I did as he said and felt the end of the tub against my back, but it wasn't cold like I was expecting. Instead it was hot. Like the bath water. I couldn't bring myself to wonder why though. Did it really matter if it was warm or cold? My body was in the tub but my mind was back at the Auction house with all those girls. The bits in their mouths. The rope tied around their bodies so they were immobile. The branding. I shuddered at that memory, which Jasper took to as I was chilled. I felt him raise my upper body so that I was hunched over my knees, running hot water down my back, and rubbing it in with a wash cloth. His hands were everywhere, rubbing in some kind of sweet smelling soap, and my body responded to him. Well. Too well. As his hands rubbed across my chest my nipples hardened almost painfully. It had been too long since they were shown any kind of affection from someone besides me and they were reveling in the fact that a man's hands were on them. Jasper's hands were rough as he rubbed in the soap, and every time his thumbs brushed over my nipples it sent a shock straight to my core that was weeping in anticipation of being shown just as much affection as my breasts were. I squeezed my eyes shut and willed my body to shut down. To not feel, just like the rest of me was, but it was to no avail.
Just when I thought I couldn't take anymore he removed his hands and began to rinse me with a small cup that he pulled up out of nowhere. My brain was relieved that he was done and yet my body was protesting with every fiber of its being. Jasper quickly rinsed me off, then pulled me out of the bathtub and into a towel. I stayed perfectly still while he rubbed me dry, his hands not leaving the towel so I didn't get to feel his skin on mine again. It was when he stood back up and was about to lead me out the bathroom door that I balked. I glanced up at the mirror at that exact second and my eyes refused to believe what they saw. I saw me. Only it wasn't me. It was a shell of the person I used to be. My brown hair was messy and wet, the curls already beginning to form. Looking even further down to my stomach I winced as I could see my hip bones sticking out a little further than normal. I looked like a freak. But it wasn't my hair, or my obvious lack of body weight that caught my eye. It was the brown, lifeless eyes staring straight back at me. I could remember a time where they practically sparkled from life and now? Now they were dead. They had seen too many of the evils of this world to ever go back to the life they once had. And that scared me more than anything.
The next day...
"What happened to your friend down at the Border Control?" Jasper asked, his voice calm.
"Any casualties?"
Jasper continued on with his conversation on the phone while I mindlessly turned the pages in my new book that he got me. What was the title of the book? I had no idea. I think I saw the name Jeremiah in there somewhere though. Instead, I stared at the pages, the words blending together not making any sense. How long we had been in his office, I didn't know. My bottom was a little numb, but nothing I couldn't handle. Sitting on the stool for long periods of time did that. A snap of fingers next to my ear forced me to look up to see Jasper watching me with an unidentifiable look on his face, a chocolate topped cookie in between his fingers. Knowing what he wanted, I immediately locked my lips around the cookie, taking care not to use my teeth. I chewed aimlessly, looking back down at the book on my lap. The chocolate melted in my mouth immediately but it did nothing for my taste buds. Instead it tasted bitter, and left me thirsty as I finally managed to choke it down.
It had been two weeks and three days since Jasper took me out of this place and to the Auction House, but who was counting? In that time I think we've maybe exchanged two sentences together. He asked me a question and my answer was a simple yes or no, Master. He never asked for anything more and I never offered more. I did my duties in the kitchen and crawled into my kennel at night without complaint. If I was being honest with myself though, I looked forward to going into my kennel now. It was my space. My time. It was the only time when I wasn't expected to talk or to do menial tasks around the house, or to even sit by his side in silence. It was where I could be one hundred percent alone with my thoughts until the darkness took over and pulled me into the wonderful abyss of numbness. Yes, I looked forward to that immensely.
I could hear Jasper's voice rattling on in the background of my mind, but didn't bother trying to make out what he was saying. It didn't matter. It wasn't until he grabbed me roughly in his hands and threw me over his shoulder did I even realize he was off the phone. I yelped in surprise but quickly settled down after a sharp slap to my bottom compliments of Jasper. Instead I hung there, lifelessly, counting the stairs as he took them. I didn't even bother trying to figure out why we were suddenly out of his office or where he was taking me. I would find out soon enough anyways.
"You will come back to me." He said over his shoulder, leaving me more confused then ever now.
Come back to him? When did I ever leave him? He knew where I was every second of the day. How in the world could I leave him?
Before I could ponder that thought any further I heard the shower come on right before I was roughly shoved inside. The water was ice cold and I screamed loudly as I tried desperately to get out. I struggled against Jasper's hold and fought him with all I had in me but he was too strong for me. The icy water was biting into my flesh and goosebumps were everywhere. My teeth began chattering and I was afraid for a moment that I was going to bite my tongue off.
"What the fuck are you doing?" I screeched at him as I continued on with my fight against him.
"Getting you to come back to me." He said calmly, not even out of breath at our struggle for power.
"I never fucking left!" I screamed, using my nails to dig into his flesh.
I felt one break and screamed in pain and began to kick out at him.
"You fucking bastard!" I yelled, splashing icy water all over him and the floor.
I don't know how long he kept me in the shower for but I struggled the entire time, fighting him with all I had in me. It was then I realized what he meant. I was here in body, but not in my mind. I was so far gone inside my own head that I canceled out everything else. Including him. And he apparently didn't like that. I wouldn't have cared so much about that but by going inside my own mind I not only forgot myself, but I forgot my family as well. Charlie, Alice, Edward, Jake. My best friends. My own fucking father. In seventeen days I hadn't even given them a second thought and that was more disturbing then anything I had encountered here thus far. By throwing me into my head, he made me lose not only myself, but my last hope for salvation from this hell.
"I'll fucking kill you!" I screeched. "I hate you!"
And with that I dropped to my knees and buried my head in my hands and sobbed, feeling the drops of water hit my back before Jasper shut off the shower, engulfing us in silence.
I don't know how long I sat there on the floor of the shower shivering and just letting my tears flow. It felt good to finally cry and feel some emotions. It had been too long that I was just a shell of the person I really was and in a twisted, fucked up sense, I was glad that Jasper forced me to come back to the real world.
"Welcome back." He said, gathering me in his arms once more and taking me out of the bathroom. I was soaking wet and cold, but he didn't show that he even noticed that as he held me tightly to his chest, letting the water from my clothes soak into his.
All the hate and anger towards him came back ten fold and I could feel my face heating up with said anger. Yes, I was definitely back.
Jasper carried me back to his room, the whole while running his fingers through my wet hair. If I wasn't so pissed off it might have felt good, instead it felt condescending. He set me gently on the floor on my feet and walked over to his closet pulling out another dress. What was it with him and these fucking dresses? Had the man ever heard of a little something called jeans and a t-shirt? I gasped as a tremor rocked through my body and goose bumps once again covered my skin. Was it supposed to be this cold in Mexico? Jasper noticed my discomfort as he strode to me quickly and gestured for me to remove my wet clothes. Glaring at him I slowly stripped away the dress, letting it fall to the floor in a heap. My nipples were already hard from the water and the cold air hitting them now didn't help their predicament any more. I raised my hands above my head as Jasper slipped on the new dress, quickly rubbing my legs dry of the stray drops of water that were making their way down to my ankles. Once I was dressed in dry clothes Jasper then led me back to his office where he settled me back on my stool, taking up residence in his chair once again.
I let out a sigh and settled into the stool, ready for another long time spent in complete silence. Instead of picking back up my book, I used this time to really think about my situation. Again. I didn't want to ever go back into the dark place inside my mind and I knew that in order for that not to happen again I needed to keep my hopes up about getting out of this place in once piece. I snorted quietly at the irony that was about to become my life. Jasper wanted me back and now he had gotten his wish. And I was going to make him regret every fucking minute of throwing me in that freezing shower. The question was, how? What in the world could I do to him to get back at him? I was watched practically twenty-four/seven.
"Isabella, you're due in the kitchen now." Jasper said bringing me out of my musings. And unknowingly giving me my 'in'.
"Yes, Master." I mumbled quickly, standing up from my stool.
For once since I got here, I was looking forward to going to the kitchen. I overheard Jasper say that Charlotte and her husband were on vacation this week so for some reason I just assumed that I wouldn't be in the kitchen without her. I was pleasantly surprised to learn otherwise though. I quietly shut the door behind me, not taking a backwards glance at the man who I could feel was staring pointedly at my back. Once I was in the hallway I let out a breath that I didn't realize I had been holding. After looking to the left and then the right, I quickly made my way downstairs to the kitchen. It was almost late afternoon so I knew that Jasper sent me down here to get his usual afternoon snack...but what could I do now to get back at him? Without it somehow coming back on me? I felt the rush of air from the kitchen door swinging closed behind me and shivered at the cold tile underneath my bare feet. Why was this house so freaking cold?
I made fast work of getting out the tray and the pitcher of unsweetened tea before grabbing the dumb Club crackers that he loved so much. I made quick work of setting up the crackers on the tray and poured the tea into his glass. It was when I reached for the sugar when inspiration hit me. This reminded me of one of my favorite fairy tales as a child.
Do the carpets Cinderellie, do the dishes Cinderellie, kiss our asses Cinderellie...Cinderella was a slave in her own home and now I was a slave in someone else's home. Neither circumstances bode well for either of us, but at least she had the comfort of getting to stay in the home she grew up in. But in the end nothing changed. We were slaves through and through. We had a lot in common in that aspect, though I still think Cinderella got the better end of the deal. Where in the story did you ever hear of her being put over her step-mothers knee? Or where in it did she ever get locked in a dark room, left alone for days on in? Never. So yes, she had it better for sure.
But one thing we did have in common was that we didn't complain out loud. For her, it wouldn't make a damn difference. And for me? Well that was just a one way ticket over Jasper's knee. No thanks. I choked back the bitterness that threatened to consume me and instead turned around so that I was facing the countertop where Jasper's afternoon snack was sitting beside me. His tea next to the crackers. The only thing missing was the sugar, to make the tea exactly as he liked it. I looked back to the counter to the sugar, that just happened to be sitting in a glass jar right by the salt. Which was also in a glass jar.
I quickly ran over my options on what kind of punishment this would warrant but in the end, he couldn't prove I did it on purpose. Not that it would matter, but he always claimed to be fair...and I was about to test that theory.
I took one last glace around the kitchen to make sure that I was alone, and upon seeing no one else around I quickly scooped in three spoon fulls of salt into his glass of tea. I stirred it around to mix it all in then picked up the tray and began my walk to the door. As I looked up, a shadow caught my eye and made my breath hitch. I gasped loudly as I came face to face with the man from my nightmare. The man with the ponytail and that very same smirk on his pale face. My heart rate picked up and I stumbled back a few steps only to have him match my steps back with two gigantic steps forward. My eyes were trained on his pale blue ones and his smirk became a sneer, twisting his facial features to look even more scarier than before.
"It's not polite to stare." He reprimanded me tauntingly, sounding like Charlotte on the first day I'd seen him.
I opened my mouth a few times, but nothing came out. So instead of a witty come back, like I had hoped, I looked like a fish out of water.
"I need to get back to Master Jasper." I mumbled quietly as I took a small step forward, hoping against hope that he would get the idea and let me pass without problem.
Unfortunately for me, luck wasn't on my side as he instead stepped into my path, blocking the exit to the door.
"It's rude to ignore the men of this house." He said with a sneer.
I pointedly ignored him and motioned with eyes to move so I could get past him and back to Jasper's office.
"And I am a man of this house. You may address me as Master James," He said with an air of arrogance around him, "Because I am a Master of this Palace."
Master of the Palace? Was he fucking delusional? I didn't say anything, instead just looked straight ahead at the door, practically willing for it to come to me at this point. I might not have been so freaked out if it weren't for the nightmare that I'd had that starred this man in front of me. There was something inside me that was telling me that he was capable of much worse than what I had conjured up inside my imagination, and it made my spidey senses tingle. I flinched as he brought his hand up and brushed away some of my hair that had fallen in my face.
"I will see you soon, beautiful girl," he whispered into my ear, his hot breath making me shiver. "That is a promise."
Before I could even catch my breath he strode from the kitchen, his hands in his pockets, whistling a tune that, even to my ears, sounded spooky. Not wanting to be in here any longer than I had to be, I followed after James, looking around before exiting the kitchen completely. I walked quickly, yet carefully back up the stairs to Jasper's office, pushing the cracked door open the rest of the way with my elbow. Without saying a word I set the tray down beside Jasper, who was on the phone again, and took up my usual place next to him on my stool. I picked up my book again, but like before, didn't bother to try and make sense of the words. Instead my mind was downstairs with James, going over our encounter downstairs. I had no doubt that he would make good on that promise...the question was, how much did I need to fear him?
I was jerked away from that train of thought though and into a more pressing matter as Jasper suddenly yelled out.
"What the fuck is this?"
I fell off my stool and looked up at him, wide eyed to see his tea splattered across his desk, and soaking into the papers laying there, a look of disgust on his face. In that small time frame of the salt and sugar switch up and James encounter with me I totally forgot about the tea!
Fuck me.
A/N: Remember! Teasers for reviewers!