A/N: Sorry that it's been forever since I updated. Life is... complicated. Hopefully, you're still interested, and you'll like this. ;3 Please review and give me your thoughts~! I'm going to write something happy next time, by the way... Give me any songs that you would like me to check out also.

Facedown

Constructed by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Kenny's POV: Age around 21

Angst. Completely. One-sided Stenny

"You can't stay quiet forever."

My hands tightened slightly on the leather steering wheel, knuckles turning a painful white as my eyes flickered away from the road to glance at you. You did not seem to react to my words, just simply continued to watch the scenery flicker past from your window seat, the city lights dancing on your glossed eyes. I'd seen that look too many times before, each time you limped to me with new colors blossoming on your skinny frame, with neighbors of crisscrossed gashes completing this sad image. One day it may be a black eye contrasting from your sickly pale face, the next a dislocated bone you came to get fixed, coming to me solely because you feel that there is no one else there.

Maybe you're right.

"Stan... This isn't gonna solve anah'thin'." This time your steel eyes locked with mine for a split second through the dimmed glass reflection, before fading back into viewing the darkening world outside. A sigh fell flatly out of my lips as I stared a head, driving without a real sense of urgency, both of us knowing exactly where this road was going to take us.

The silence was deafening, almost stifling as my emotions soured with every block that passed us by. Stan used to be so strong, so independent and free. He was a beauty in his own way, a black haired god. Yet... now he was broken, a mere shade of that person. The smiles were strained, a hint dimmer than they should have been, his eyes a little too dull. He could fake it to the others, they ate in his little act without much thought, thinking the injuries were merely from his laborious job, the weariness from late nights with his boyfriend.

If only they knew how close to the truth that really is...

I knew there was something wrong from the very first moment, and I tried to talk to Stan when the first bruises set it. "I don't want to talk about it..." or "It's nothing... Really, everything's alright, Kenny."

It wouldn't be right if I acted, this was Stan's problem, and it wasn't my place to interfere until he asked for the help he so desperately needed. Until then I would do as I always had, I would patch him up at ungodly times in the morning, let him crash with me, give him everything, and ask for absolutely nothing in return.

Simply because I loved him so god damned much.

It fucking hurt to stand back like a bitch, but I couldn't risk the chance. It killed me to see him so beaten down, so... abused. God... It killed me.

The rain was pounding on the windshield now, blurring the city into a swirling of splattered lights and colors. The sky was a pitch black, a midnight black that almost matched yours. Your whisper broke the silence so violently, like glass shattering against an abandoned pavement, your voice holding the same lost properties, yet was enough to startle me out of my thoughts.

"You know... don't you?"

His eyes were the clearest I'd seen them in so long, and they were steady as mine wavered to meet your steely gaze. All the words I had so carefully practiced died in my throat, choked me as I croaked out so plain of an answer.

"Yeah... Yeah I've known. For a long time..." I didn't want to press it, didn't want to drive you away by being too forward, too direct.

"Craig beats me."

That simple statement shattered the illusion we had been cradling for so long, shifted the ground we stood on as the truth was finally tumbling out your mouth, the only place that it ever truly needed to be told. This was always your story after all, not mine.

"He was so nice at first you know... He was perfect. Too perfect I guess..." Stan's voice trailed off quietly, washing away like the rain outside. I pressed my lips together tightly, forcing back all the words I'd been holding in. He needed someone to listen now, I could do that.

Without even looking to see if I was going to answer, he continued, "It started, maybe... a month after we began dating. I was going to leave him, but... he needs me-", his light touch on my arm distracted me, his eyes focused so intently on mine. "He needs me. Ever since he lost Tweek to that horrible accident-"

"That's no excuse and you know it." The words came out sharper than I intended, my malice for Craig let loose for a moment. Stan flinched, his hand jerking away from me like he was burned.

"I-I know... I wish it was though." The rain was pouring from the sky, so much like the tears from your face that night. My heart twisted at the sight, but I couldn't wipe them away. I wasn't yours to do that.

The streets were fading, cutting off as we wandered down shitty alleyways into the rough side of town. I parked by a set of apartments with graffiti stained bricks, and dismal shades of gray. I looked at it in wonderment, thinking back to how you used to live in a house the size of all the apartments combined. Ironic, wasn't it? No... Just sad, so completely and utterly sad...

You didn't make a move to leave, and I didn't say anything as I watched the seconds pass by. One minute. Two. Five. Ten.

Thirty.

"...We're here Stan." His eyes opened slowly to stare out into that other world of his. Where maybe things were okay, like they used to be. He wasn't with us anymore, though he never was by the end of these long car rides. As he unbuckled the seat belt, I rested my hand on his shoulder.

Worry crept through me when he shivered through his coat, but I just pushed it away. There were so much more pressing things to worry about. "Stan... You don't have to go back. You can stay at my place tonight, if you wanna. It's fine... Don't make yourself do this." He shrugged off my hand and smiled blankly at me. "Nah, you take care of me enough, Kenny. Besides, I'm sure Dr. McCormick has other patients he needs to patch up."

When I started to protest, he cut me off abruptly. "Honestly Kenny, I'll be fine... I'll call you if anything happens, okay? Yes... Anything. I promise." I let him open the door and step out. Maybe I was wrong for trusting him. Should I have just grabbed him, thrown him back inside my car, and drove off? Could I have?

"Thanks Kenny... I-", the rest of his sentence was swallowed by the splattering rain, just as his body was covered by the darkness. More than anything, I wish I could have heard those last words, make them something I would have never forgot. It seems that's just not how my life was meant to go though.

That stormy night was the last time I saw Stan Marsh. The next morning a call was made, and his body was found by the neighbors outside the alleyway. He was beaten to a bloody pulp outside of the place he called home. There was not enough evidence to prove what had happened, and it was deemed a robbery gone wrong, though none of your money was taken.

I couldn't bear to look at it. It couldn't be real if I couldn't see it.

His eyes were shut the next time I saw him. They fixed him up before they put him in the casket. I remember how peaceful he looked, and I felt so glad that his pain was over.

Even if it meant mine would never end.

I never cried for him. Stan was apart of me, so that day when they lowered him into the ground, a side of me had also died with him. I couldn't cry, because crying for yourself would only be selfish. Instead, after that day, I smiled for him, laughed for him. I did things that Stan hadn't done and will never do again. Enjoying life as much as I could was one of those things.

It was bittersweet, but Stan always liked it that way.

I finally understand why he pretended that he lived in another world, somewhere else. Not because life was happier there, but because it wasn't here, in reality. Life is painful, an awful and beautiful thing. It's not easy, and it never will be, but it's still something cherished. Sometimes I wish that there was another place, somewhere that everything worked out for us. Where you got into my car, and all the words I held back finally came out. A place where I heard those last words you said.

A place in where you loved me just as much as I loved you.

Since that isn't true, instead, I'll just live for you.

And maybe one day I'll see your steely blue eyes again.