Disclaimer: This one is a train wreck, I only posted it, because I got sick of looking at it on my save file.
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"Honestly, I think you two are all wrong for each other." Harry said, earning a frown from Hermione, and narrowed eyes from Ron.
"But everyone says that we bicker like an old married couple." Ron protested. "Shouldn't that mean something?"
"Yeah, you two do bicker like an old married couple, and it should mean something." Harry said. "It should mean that this is a disaster waiting to happen."
"Harry-" Hermione started.
"Ron, Hermione, think about this for a second." Harry said. "Yes, old married couples bicker, but they start out much differently. They start out all lovey dovey, and work their way up to the endearing bickering you two are infamous for. If you're starting out like that, I shudder to think what you'll be like when you do reach that stage, or even a few years from now. Remember, you two get on each other's nerves a lot, but you also have me as a buffer most of the time to keep things getting too out of hand.
When you two really get into it, and can't stand to be around each other, I'm the one playing mediator. I'm the one who spends time with you separately. I'm the one who distracts the two of you from each other's more annoying habits since they don't really bother me. If you two get together, I'm sure you won't want me there constantly standing in the middle of your relationship, but that would mean that it will be just the two of you, and you'll be exposed to everything my presence blocks. You'll have to learn to deal with things on your own, and to be honest, there's too much you don't realize for you to end up doing more than ruining the friendship that you do have."
"I would have thought you'd be happy for us, Harry." Hermione accused.
"If I thought there was a chance that you could make it, I would be." Harry said. "But you two asked for an honest opinion, and that's it. Not only that, but despite all of the bickering, there is a line that is never crossed. Bickering married couples don't go at each other trying to hurt the other's feelings like you two do sometimes when you're really going at it. I'll even admit that part of my reasoning for discouraging you two is selfish, in that a blow up between you two would be horrible, and I don't want to lose my two best friends because you didn't work. But seriously, anyone who thinks that you'll be a good couple is delusional, and obviously doesn't know you very well."
"My mum thinks we'll work." Ron argued.
"Yes, and the Boy Who Lived obsession your sister had for almost ten years was cultivated and encouraged by your mum as well." Harry reminded him. "She also tried to shelter you and Ginny from things you both really needed to see, hear, and learn to grow and mature into responsible adults. I think she was too singularly focused on a good boy for Ginny, and someone who'd help your emotional development that she never considered everything wrong with the pairings she wanted. I also don't think she was paying much attention to how much her smothering was stunting your growth. Just being friends with Hermione without her causing you to backslide over the summers would have helped. She's a great mum, no doubt, but because of what happened to her brothers, her tendency to try and control every aspect of your lives in order to protect you didn't help you develop unprotected life experiences."
"Y'know, I really hate it when you're all logical like this." Ron said, sulking slightly. "You make far too much sense to simply ignore like Hermione who uses words I don't understand."
"So I'm guessing from what you said that you and Ginny aren't getting back together." Hermione asked.
"When I broke up with her, she had the nerve to tell me that she knew I wouldn't be happy unless I was chasing Voldemort, and that's the reason she liked me so much." Both Ron and Hermione winced.
"Look, if you two don't get back together, you have my support, and I'll back you up." Ron said.
"I thought she'd finally learned to separate you from the BWL." Hermione groaned.
"You do know my mum is going to sulk for weeks, right?" Ron said, to which Harry nodded. "This also means that you're marrying Hermione."
"Really?" Harry said. "Personally, I'm not sure we'll work out either. I mean, Hermione and I are close, she's practically my whole world in a sense, but I don't think that our feelings for each other would make a relationship work."
"We'll just have to work it out, like you said before." Hermione told him, cheekily grinning. "I've had this gut feeling that I was going to marry my best friend since I first started having certain urges. When we became friends, I knew I'd most likely marry one of you. Since you've pretty much spelled out how disastrous me and Ron trying to get together would be, that makes you my future husband by default."
"Nothing less than what you deserve, mate." Ron teased.
"Is that supposed to be a good thing or a bad thing?" Hermione asked, her tone slightly sinister.
Ron made to answer, but paused, and thought about it. "Actually, I think it's a bit of both."