(A/N: New chapter! I don't own any of JK's brilliance, I only love playing with her characters :) Read, Review, and most importantly, Love! Wonderwhiterabbit hopping off)
In the Head of the Snake
Chapter 25: Dreams
Severus was sitting in an armchair, his feet resting on the other. The twin chairs next to his bed in his secret room were a dark brown, the wood scuffed and the cushions well worn down. They had once belonged in his home, but he had moved them here shortly after receiving his secret room. They had been his mother's and although they had seen the worst days, they had also seen the best. Actually, these two chairs had seen Snape's whole life, from child birth to adulthood, from innocent to...not so innocent any more.
His eyes slowly began closing. He had thought vaguely whether he should not just sleep on his bed next to Miss Weasley, but then she had rolled over and that had settled it in his head; there was no way he could sleep with someone perpetually moving about on the bed. Even in his half-sleep state, he smirked automatically. The girl had some nerve finding out about his personal room. Eyrie had cried her eyes out when she thought that she had done wrong by Severus, and a patch of damp tears still on his cloak remained from where she had cried even more when he had forgiven her. Really, he could not blame the elf. He had not thought that she would tell anyone else about the room and as such he had decided that forbidding her from his room was enough. He couldn't bloody well forbid everyone from his room – not for lack of wishful thinking of course.
Ginny turned again in the bed and Snape's eyes blinked open again. Couldn't she bloody well sleep in one place? But then she moaned...
What was she dreaming about? The Dreamful Sleep potion was not one often used. People normally wanted to run away from their subconscious thoughts. But the potion did help for those times when one wanted to remember one's past. The Dreams one experienced were not ordinary dreams: they were re-enactments of one's past. Of course, just because they were memories did not necessarily mean that they were not tainted by the subconscious. Dreams were the subconscious and as such the element could never truly be removed.
He had a potion that he sometimes drank when he was in need of rest. He had used it earlier on in the year, but he tried not to rely on it too much. He had adapted it from the Dreamful Sleep potion, but so that it only picked up the lighter, happier memories in a person's mind and played that to the dreamer. Snape found that the potion acted better than a Dreamless Sleep potion, as that potion never allowed the brain to switch off and on properly like it should during sleep. But the potion that he took could also be adapted to the time the drinker wanted to spend sleeping, merely by thinking hard of the time frame before one drank the potion. The Dreamful Sleep Potion...it depended on how much got into her system, her muscle ratio, as well as the intensity of her imagination; dreams could suck you in and not let you out of them. Eventually you could be stuck in your own head. Unless someone helped you out.
Snape smirked again, staring at the sleeping form on his bed. Lucky for Ginny Weasley he was an accomplished Legilimens. If she got lost in her thoughts, he could very easily find her and lead her out. But he could only do that once the potion wore off. He wondered, not for the first time, what Ginny Weasley was dreaming about. The Dreamful Sleep Potion went through every single memory and combined them and distorted them, one memory becoming another in a blur of thoughts and emotions, continuously tainted by the subconscious' perception of the events. When he had taken the potion, he was told later that at some point he had screamed for five minutes flat, never letting up the volume. He did not remember any of that, only that his dreams had been frightening enough that any of them could have caused his reaction.
A blur of silver surfaced silently through the wall across from him, the bed separating himself and the patronus. He had been waiting for this.
"Make it quick, Albus. As you can see, I have my hands full."
The silver phoenix turned in a swirl of wings and materialised into the shape of Albus Dumbledore. Snape still wondered how Dumbledore could do that; he could only get his patronus to speak, and even that was pushing his limits.
"Do tell, Severus, what you are doing with a student in your bed?" even though the eyes were silver, Snape could still see that stupid twinkle shining through them hiding silent laughter.
"I would like to know that too!" snapped Snape, standing up with a flourish, his hair flicking out of his face and his nose pointing towards the roof. "I returned from my mission, completely exhausted, to find that my promised solace had already been disrupted."
Dumbledore's mouth twitched as he attempted to keep down his smile.
"Returned completely exhausted? It is not like Narcissa to let her guests leave before they are ready."
"Oh no, she was the perfect host as per usual," Snape rolled his eyes, "it was my other host that tired me out."
Dumbledore giggled at the pun but then turned serious.
"I would like a report, Severus," he said simply as the silver form drifted around the bed and sat on one of the chairs. Severus sighed and settled himself down to repeat what he had already explained to the Dark Lord, except this time he left nothing out. Dumbledore had to know about the Love Cavern. He had to know about the Death Chamber. And he had to know how both had affected him.
. . .
Ginny was running down the slope that lead to Hagrid's. At the last possible moment she locked her knees and skid down the grassy hillside to a standstill. She jumped with the energy of youth out of the way and behind a stone jutting out of the hillside just as three figures were walking up the slope. She stared with watered up eyes at the black-haired-boy. Harry was laughing at something Hermione had just called Ron, and was laughing even more as Ron tried to come up with a come-back remark. Ginny felt the urge to show herself to the trio, but then Hermione linked her arms through Harry's and Ron threw his arm over his best mate's shoulders. Ginny found herself crying. They were inseparable. She could never fit in with them. Their group was already formed.
The three had past her by now and she was watching their retreating backs. All of a sudden, Harry turned his neck around. All the way around! But it wasn't Harry that stared at her anymore; Tom Riddle gleefully showed his teeth, his whole face that of the young Dark Lord except for his eyes which were still a bright emerald green.
"NO!" shrieked Ginny and lunged for Tom, but it was too late. Tom already had his hands on Ron and Hermione. His hands turned to snakes which slithered over their bodies. Ron gasped out for breath as the snake squeezed him tighter and Hermione screamed as the snake around her reared. A rooster crowed.
Ginny was standing in a chicken pen, covered in feathers. Two dead snakes lay at her feet, and at first she felt triumphant, but then she saw that the snake's head was covered in red hair. She kicked it over and gasped as the empty eyes of her brother stared back at her. She stepped backwards but tripped and landed in a pool of blood. A dead rooster lay at her feet, its blood spread out in a carpet of red beneath her.
She screamed, and the pool reacted by growing larger, more dead birds being spewed up from the ground, their blood rising back up to the surface.
She closed her eyes, her hands crashed down on her face. She didn't want to see this. She had done all that. She had killed all of the roosters. She had thought that by burying them she could forget that it ever happened. But of course she never remembered it happening in the first place! When she had considered all the facts, she had known that it was her, but how could she have done all of that and not remembered? And why had she done it in the first place?
She looked at her blood smeared hands, horror stricken by her actions. Her hands were shaking and she gripped them to try and stop, but that just made it worse. She thumped her hands to her side, and she felt one hit something.
She looked down to see her diary lying quiescently by her side. She picked it up and opened it at random.
"What's wrong Ginny. Why so quiet today?"
She was still sitting in the pen, still covered in feathers, but the earth had sucked the roosters back up and had absorbed all of the blood again. In her lap was the black diary. She dipped her quill into her robe which was still covered in blood, and in red she wrote, "I'm being left behind again. Ron and Hermione and Harry keep on whispering together. They have a secret. I know it, but they don't know that I know it. The whole school knows it actually!"
"What's their secret?" the diary enquired.
"Harry is a parseltongue...just proves he's even more special than we all thought in the beginning."
"Being a parseltongue doesn't make you special! You are special, Ginny. I can prove it to you. I can teach you parseltongue too! Imagine that! You and Harry, talking together in your own language that no one else understands! Almost like...a lover's language!"
"A language just for us? That would be amazing! Harry might pay attention to me then!"
The diary snapped shut. She was standing in the girl's bathroom, staring at a tap. But Ginny was not all there. Her eyes were glazed over and they held a blank look to them. Ginny realised then that she wasn't herself – she was watching herself. A shadow in the same place as the original. She watched as her body acted, but as if it were being controlled by someone else. The red-headed puppet spoke a weird word, and with many clicks and hisses, a large hole appeared. Out of the hole slithered a serpent larger than any Ginny had seen before, but she felt an affinity towards it. Apparently so did the puppet-Ginny because it held out a hand that the snake nuzzled, as if a cat craving attention. She noticed that the puppet-Ginny's eyes barely blinked when staring into the large eyes of the basilisk. The puppet-Ginny spoke some more in that foreign language and the snake hissed in delight, hunger sparkling in its eyes. It slithered out the open door of the bathroom, free to roam the castle with its master's blessing.
Ginny found herself shaking as she watched the puppet-Ginny collapse on the floor. Under puppet-Ginny's arm was a dark black book, its pages slightly blurred with a dark power. Ginny watched in fascination as the black power ebbed slowly out of puppet-Ginny and back into the book, leaving behind a tired girl with no memory. She walked towards the book and tried to pick it up, but her hand touched puppet-Ginny's and she was sucked back into her own body with a gasp.
She opened her eyes. She was in her room, the diary on her lap, her quill dripping black drops of ink onto the open page before her, but no words came to mind. She snapped the book closed, a decided gleam in her eyes, and ran down to the great hall. She spotted Ron's red head immediately and dashed over to join him at the Gryffindor table. But as she sat down and saw Harry, all of her resolve left her. The more she tried to get words out, the more tense she grew. She got angry with herself! She was a bloody Gryffindor! But this was more than that. If she was right...then everything was her fault!
"What's up?" asked Ron as he helped himself to another bowl of porridge. He hadn't even looked at her! What a brother he was! But she had to tell him. She couldn't tell Percy...Percy was a prefect and even if she knew of his relationship that wasn't enough to blackmail him into not telling on her. Thinking of Percy, she looked quickly up and down the table, but he was nowhere in sight. Her hands started to wring themselves as she thought of them in chains.
"Spit it out," she hardly heard Ron say, but it brought her attention back to her brother. And to Harry next to him. Oh dear! She shouldn't have looked at him! Now she felt even more shy, and guilty, and scared! The guilt won over: she had to tell them!
"I've got to tell you something," she mumbled, but made sure not to look at Harry. He would be so disappointed. He would hate her even! But it was the right thing to do. If it was her doing all of those nasty things, and if it was her fault that the people were being attacked, then she had to hand herself over! They could lock her up and stop her from doing anything bad anymore!
"What is it?" that was Harry, and her eyes raised ever so slightly to meet his. A shock went through her body that must have looked like a tremor. Every muscle in her wanted to reach out and grab him. She was scared of herself when she was around him. Especially because she wanted him so badly. She just...wanted him...there was no other way of explaining it.
But now she couldn't talk at all. She was too busy fighting her inner urges. Her head was filled with thoughts and words that she couldn't remember having, but they were making her feel weird. Powerful!
Ron said something that she couldn't quite hear, and then Harry leaned towards her. He was whispering something, but all she could hear were her inner thoughts. Harry...it said. The animal in her awakened, but Ginny bit down on it hard. She drew a deep breath, wishing that Harry would move away from her! Then she was saved! Percy!
Her mind snapped back to reality, and she jumped up as if her seat had set fire. She looked at Percy gratefully, her fear shining through at what she had just wanted to do, and then ran off away from the table.
She ran towards a tapestry and slid behind it, only to end up in a long tunnel that twisted and bent in all odd directions. She was in a long pipe! The pipe bent upwards, and a hissing escaped from her mouth. She was no longer running any more, she was gliding along something's back. It slithered towards the light at the end of the pipe and Ginny blinked as her eyes turned white.
She blinked some more. Her eyes felt sore and red. She was on her bed again, a box of tissues to her left and her diary to her right. She had wondered over and over again about her feelings for Harry. After speaking to him the day before, and wanting him so badly, she had realised that she did not want him because she loved him, but rather because she hated him! This whole year all she had been trying to do was to befriend him, and he had not given her an ounce of his time! He hadn't tried. She had done nothing but try. She couldn't help it that she was shy around him! And then he talked to her only when it looked like she knew something! He didn't understand her, and he certainly was not interested in her!
There was only one person who was interested in her. She snuffled and wiped her hand over her eyes. There was only one person who understood her. There was only one person that she...oh no. She hastily pulled up the black book and opened it roughly. She grabbed a quill and ink and poised over the page. But she couldn't think of how to begin.
"Tell me about your day, Ginny?" asked Tom.
She sighed. Tom always knew how to make her feel safe again. She stared at the writing and loved how the words curled at the ends, and each one's delicate slant. She imagined the writer's hands, but stopped herself quickly. This was not good. But Tom would understand right? But could she be let down by two boys at the same time?
"Ginny, please speak to me. What is on your mind?"
Ginny grit her teeth and wrote: "I can't tell you Tom...but I want to...so I'll try. I think...I think something bad is happening. I think a few bad things are happening actually."
"Well start at the beginning, and I'll try and help. You know I'll always try and help."
"I know Tom. But that's why I'm so confused. I think, but it's crazy I know, but I think that," she closed her eyes, not wanting to see the truth of her emotions written out so crudely, but writing them anyway, "I'm in love."
"With Harry. I know you are. We've spoken about this before."
Oh how stupid she had been with Harry! Naturally he wouldn't care about her! Poor red-head Ginny who wasn't good at anything! She didn't care now. She would tell him!
"If only it were that easy!" she wrote. And then, in a furious scribble, "Tom, I think that I'm in love with you!"
"Ginny..."
She didn't want him to finish. If he didn't love her back, she didn't want to know. He was a diary, after all. It wasn't as if he could return her love in the first place.
"You don't have to say anything. I know that it's crazy! I know! I do! And I know that I'm a fool as well. Everyone has reminded me of that."
"That's not what I was going to say. I just wish that I was with you. Then I could show you."
"Show me what, Tom?" She was confused. Was this diary made with the purpose of never upsetting its user? Was that why it was saying all of this?
"That I love you too..."
None of that mattered now. He loved her. Her stomach did an odd loop and she started to cry tears of joy. She wasn't as bad a case as she supposed then, if Tom loved her!
"You do? Oh Tom! I didn't think you would! Not after all I've put you through! Not after all of the horrible things I think I've been doing! And after trying to get rid of you too...I'm so sorry about that, but I thought that you were going to tell Harry all that I'd told you, and I don't think I could have lived with that."
"I understand completely Ginny. I wish I could hold you right now. And see your red hair for myself. And your perfect smile. And lips."
"I wish nothing more than that myself! To actually be able to see you! And touch you!"
"There is...well, I don't think it would be a good idea, but there is a way...if you were willing?"
"I'd do anything for you Tom!"
And Ginny was sucked out of her body again. She watched as a black power, as dark as ink, oozed out of the blank pages of the diary, writing Tom Riddle's mind into her own. Her eyes went blank once more and puppet-Ginny was back. Shadow Ginny watched in fascination as puppet-Ginny stood and walked towards a wall in Hogwarts, and in her own blood wrote a good bye message to the world.
Her skeleton will lie in the chamber forever
Shadow Ginny stared sadly at the words written in red. Red for anger. Red for hate. Red for love. And red for heartbreak.
She had been used, manipulated, puppeteered. At least, she scoffed as she followed Puppet-Ginny to the girl's bathroom and watched as Puppet-Ginny stood by the entrance to the Chamber, at least she had fallen to a master.
Then puppet-Ginny turned back to the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets and hissed the words to trigger its opening. But when the entrance opened, light flickered in Puppet-Ginny's eyes.
"Tom, I don't think I want to do this," the words whispered out. "No, Tom!" she said louder now. But Ginny could see the fight raging behind Puppet-Ginny's eyes was a losing one.
"I always thought it was you! After I started losing my memory, I only ever told you! And then you slipped up! I wrote to you and said that I was covered in feathers, and you replied and asked me what I was doing with roosters. I never said I was with roosters! I just said I was covered in feathers! You knew! It was you!" Puppet-Ginny started to cry now, but it was no good. Puppet-Ginny was too weak. Her eyes clouded up once more and Puppet-Ginny clambered through the hole, shadow Ginny not far behind.
They were in the Chamber now and suddenly puppet-Ginny fell to the ground as if all of her strings had been cut at once. She was at the foot of a large stone statue's feet, crumpled and bent like she had just been trod on by the guardian overseeing her. Ginny stared in horror as ink slowly seeped out of puppet-Ginny's skin in the form of long-written words. As the ink removed itself from her, puppet-Ginny's form faded more and more, becoming as white as marble. The words jumped from her skin and pooled themselves together on the ground, building themselves up into a dark form that slowly took shape. Tom Riddle stood before Shadow Ginny Weasley and stared directly at her.
"We could have had it all, you know. You and I. When I said I loved you...I really meant it," his voice was cat-nip to her ears and immediately Ginny's heart raced, but she knew it was all a lie. Every single word she had ever read out of that diary had been a lie, so any words he said had to be the same.
But then a loud clank sounded behind them, distracting Ginny from Tom Riddle before her, and in ran a twelve-year-old Harry. He ran directly to puppet-Ginny.
"Please don't be dead!" he kept on saying. Then he spotted Tom. "Tom! Please help me! It's not too late! You've got to help me Tom!"
But Tom had picked up Harry's wand and was twirling it through his fingers nonchalantly.
"It is too late for Ginny Weasley," he hissed, hardly hiding his smile as he watched the struggling Harry. He turned though to face Ginny. "She's long gone, and will never come back."
"It's not too late for me!" yelled Shadow Ginny, her anger overriding her sense of fear, "I will come back from you! I will heal! I will get better! You can't keep control of me forever!"
But Tom twiddled Harry's wand and the words "I am Lord Voldemort" burned into the air.
"You think you can get away from me?" and a horrible laugh erupted from Tom's throat. Shadow Ginny looked to the sudden scene before her.
Harry was running blindly, his hands outstretched as the Basilisk appeared from the statue's mouth. Fawkes had launched into the air and was striking at the snake's eyes. Harry had grabbed the Sorting Hat and slid it onto his head, and the next moment he had taken it off to reveal a long sword.
Shadow Ginny screamed as she witnessed the snake strike, and then again, barely missing Harry. It raised itself once more and thrust itself downwards at the same time as Harry forced himself forwards. The sword in Harry's hands dug into the roof of the serpent's mouth, but at the same time a fang found its mark in Harry's arm.
Shadow Ginny was crying. He had done all that for her...She turned back to Puppet-Ginny, surprised to see Fawkes tilting his head at her crumpled form. A few tears left the phoenix's eyes, dropping hot drops onto her skin, but they merely rolled off of her. She was too full of sadness for any warmth to come through. Then Fawkes did something odd; he took a hold of one of Ginny's long red hairs and plucked it from her skull. Puppet-Ginny didn't even flinch. Fawkes then swallowed the hair and began to glow red. He spread out his wings over Puppet-Ginny's form and Shadow Ginny watched in fascination as the red glow leaked out of Fawkes' wings and into Puppet-Ginny's form. Puppet-Ginny still did not awake. Fawkes, as if making up his mind, flapped hurriedly to Harry where his tears, still pearly white along his eyes, dropped onto the wound made by the Basilisk fang. Shadow Ginny stared in wonder as the wound healed. Fawkes flapped quickly back to Puppet-Ginny's side and picked up the black diary in his golden claws. He hooted softly in Puppet-Ginny's ear as he passed; it was a reassuring sound, and the red glow about her started to sink into her skin. Then the diary was in Harry's hands and Harry was stabbing the diary with a basilisk tooth; ink pooled out from the diary like blood. The diary was destroyed.
But that was not the only place the diary's ink was, shadow Ginny realised. It was in her too! She walked over to Puppet-Ginny who was now beginning to stir. She stooped down and looked at the silly girl on the ground. The words...they had come from her...Tom had formed from the words in her! They were etched into her body, her mind...into her heart...
. . .
"So the Love Cavern tested you?" asked Dumbledore.
"I don't know if 'tested' is the right word to use, but either way it didn't burn me like it did Rookwood."
"Hmm. And you saw your guardian...I am grateful you lived long enough to do so. I only saw my guardian at the end of the Grindelwald War."
"What..." Severus was slightly unsure of his question, but he asked it in any case, "What does your guardian look like?"
"Ah, just like the Mirror of Erised shows us differently, so do our guardians appear differently to us," the silver Dumbledore nodded his head. "Very little is known about guardians, other than they will show themselves to us when they want to, or when called upon in dire need. Sometimes they take the form of a loved one, but more often than not they hold something, a characteristic or feature, from all who we love."
"My guardian was...beautiful," whispered Severus.
"Is, was and always shall be," corrected Dumbledore. "Guardians have no prospect of time and they flit between this world and what lies beyond with no issues. Although good luck to you if you ask a guardian what 'beyond' actually is!" Dumbledore laughed, as if recalling a fond memory although his eyes held a dull glow.
"Why did your guardian show itself to you?" asked Severus, still unsure as to whether Dumbledore would answer him or not, but knowing that unless he asked he would not get any answers.
"I was nearing the end, as it so happens. Everyone thought I was already gone. Grindelwald stood over me, my long lost friend...and he smiled and held his hand out to me and I took it. It was only later that I was told the truth of the event: Grindelwald was standing over me, triumphant according to the witnesses, pointing his wand down at me, when I – apparently unconsciously – raised my arm and took hold of his wand and performed a reverse-sided spell that made him crumple to the ground. The wand was left in both our hands. From what I heard, it looked as if we were holding hands in our joint death. Of course, neither of us died. Neither of us has truly lived since then though."
"So your guardian was in the form of Grindelwald?" asked a stunned Severus.
"Not quite. After I had performed this unknown magic, I did meet a man who looked very much like Gellert, but there were differences in his appearance that I had not noticed before. He and I walked for a while in the most magnificent place while we talked. He answered many questions of which I already knew the answers, but had always been too scared to admit to myself. It was then that I decided I would not leave Hogwarts."
Dumbledore smiled. Snape decided he would not pry anymore; he had not wanted to share his whole conversation with his guardian with Dumbledore either, although he had had to.
"And I think I have the blessing of the Dead too," Snape said quietly as he stared at his interlocked fingers.
"That is a most wonderful thing to have! We should not pity the dead, Severus. They are found in their ways."
"I agree with you...I do not pity them. I pity the living for having to go through life as it is now...I pity all those who have had to endure war and hardships."
"More so, Severus, I think we should pity those who live without love. You saw in that Cavern the true power of love. Its burning desire and molten compassion. You felt love's tears upon your face, and the heat of its passion. If that is pure love, then imagine the power of love when it is directed!"
"It is no wonder the Dark Lord burned during his first meeting with the boy. Lily's love was unbelievable. She loved life! All parts of it!"
"Yes," smiled Dumbledore, "I remember once seeing Lily running through the castle, and imagining a red glow around her."
"You weren't imagining it, old man. That glow was real. I saw it a few times, although others never noticed it."
Dumbledore's twinkle returned suddenly to his eye.
"You have an affinity for love, Severus. The actions of the Love Cavern prove this to me. You have always had the ability to identify magic, second only, may I be bold enough to say, only to me –"
" – And surely to the Dark Lord?"
"Oh no, Severus. Not to the Dark Lord. He ignores certain magical powers, and in so doing he ignores his potential. It is like focussing on one muscle in the body. You can work it and form it into the perfect muscle. But when the time comes to act, the body is not proportioned and as such cannot perform. Young Tom has done little to work his heart, and when the time comes, his whole body will fail him. No one can do anything without a heart."
"Well the Dark Lord has certainly done much, even without a heart."
"That damage, although severe and saddening, can be fixed. Forgiven."
"Forgiven?" spat Snape, appalled at Dumbledore's words. "I will never forgive that beast for all he has done!"
"Ah, now, Severus. He has done much, but what really has he accomplished that cannot be undone?"
"Murder!" shrieked Severus.
Dumbledore smiled sadly at Snape, with a look that implied he knew more than the other man.
"Do not close your heart, Severus. It is your heart that has saved you from a miserable life."
"It is my heart that made my life miserable in the first place!" snapped Snape, breathing deeply. Ginny moaned and he looked at her twisting form on the black bed. Somehow he regained his composure. "I think that my, er, heart has gotten larger," he said while still looking at Ginny. "I can feel something in me that has grown after my encounter with the Love Cavern. It isn't a new power, merely more of what I had before. Is it possible that the Love Cavern gave me some of its power?"
Dumbledore contemplated in silence for a moment. They both stared at the twisting form of Ginny Weasley on the bed before them. She had been moaning in her Dreamful Sleep for quite some time now. At one point she had screamed and Snape had dug his nails into the arms of the chair to keep from jumping to his feet in the need to do something to help Ginny.
"I think..." began Dumbledore, "that it is very possible. The Love Cavern sounds like a thinking being, as is everything in the Department of Mysteries. If it let you release it from its cage, it might have been grateful and seen to a reward. I do not know what sort of difference this will make to you though, Severus. These things are not tested, and most definitely do not happen often." Severus merely nodded his head in understanding. He would have to wait and see for himself what changes had come about him. It was quite possible that there were none.
"Not to undermine the situation you find yourself in, but there are more pressing matters to attend to. The map that you drew for Tom. What do you think he is planning on doing with it?"
Snape sighed and rubbed his temples.
"I've been trying to think of possibilities. He never mentioned why he needed it. I just know that once it is set on that paper, the Department won't be able to change like it normally does. It will be a trapped animal. I do not know the repercussions this could have on the room, but I just know that this forced subservience is cruel. I plan on destroying the map, but it will be difficult. When I handed the map over to the Dark Lord...I have never seen his eyes so energetic before. I could almost taste his need for Harry! I think the whole time I was away he was only thinking of the boy! I can only imagine his hunger for Harry Potter's flesh in a comparison, if not more so, to a Dragon starved of flight."
"We are agreed then that you need to get hold of that map and destroy it as soon as the proper moment arrives. Patience, Severus," Dumbledore held up a silver hand as he saw the snarl form on the Potion's Master's face. "I believe that the right time will come for everything..." Dumbledore's silver eyes held a sad gleam in them. "Maybe even the right time for certain things has passed..."
"What are you referring to, Old Man?" asked Snape, not liking the serious tone at all.
"I am, of course, referring to Harry."
"Ah yes, the Golden Boy. What would you like conveyed to him now?"
"Not now. Sometime soon though. I think I have made a dire mistake."
"You?" smirked Snape, "Make a mistake? The Wizarding World is surely doomed if the greatest sorcerer of all time cannot get things right!"
The smile flitted back onto Dumbledore's face.
"You are right, Severus. Mistakes are meant to be made to be learnt from. Speaking of which, what have you learnt from Ginny's mistakes that she made years ago?"
Snape sighed.
"I wish I could tell you more. But she hardly remembers anything that happened to her in the Chamber of Secrets. She once said to me that she knows everything, but can't seem to recall anything."
The two figures looked to Ginny who had now turned over so much that the black sheet was twisted up around her. She looked as if she were crying in her sleep.
Dumbledore sighed.
"I am sorry to leave you with this mess, Severus. I, er," and Snape was surprised to hear Dumbledore stutter for words – that did not happen often, "may have miscalculated the depths of her harm. I was too concerned for Harry Potter. I sent her directly to the Hospital Wing, to the very place where the victims of her plight were being brought back to life. I can only imagine what torture that must have been for her: to see the very people that she had hurt."
"Although it could also have been relief," said Snape after a moment's hesitation. "They were being given the Mandrake Juice at that time, if I am not mistaken. She would have been able to see all her actions rectified."
"I don't think she would have felt relief. More like guilt."
"We will never know unless we ask."
"We will never know unless you ask," corrected Dumbledore. "And with that I must be off."
Snape had barely a moment to nod his head in farewell before the silver Dumbledore vanished.
Ginny threw an arm over her head and tears coursed down her face.
. . .
Ginny realised her dream was showing her memories. She realised this despite not being able to realise much else. She was in her dream as if it were happening again. As if the memories were being made fresh in her mind.
She was being lead out of the Principal's office by her mother and father, leaving a blood-soaked twelve-year-old Harry and dripping wet Ronald behind. Her mother was holding onto her tightly. Ginny's eyes were still a shade shallower than their usual deep brown, and her skin was a dead white. The hand her mother held around her seemed to burn with warmth.
"This is all my fault, Ginny. I am so sorry!" her mother sobbed, not bothering to rid the tears from her patchy face.
Ginny hardly even noticed. She was dead inside. There was no way she could get rid of this year. There was no way she could get back this year. There was no way. There just was no way.
They were at the entrance to the Hospital Wing and someone ran right into them as they were opening the door.
"Ginny! Mrs Weasley! Mr Weasley!"
"Hermione..." Ginny's eyes found focus. They stared in disbelief. Hermione was moving! She was back to normal!
"Oh Ginny! It's wonderful to be back! But there's something I have to tell Harry, and Ron! Do you know where they are?"
"They're with Professor Dumbledore, dear," answered Molly Weasley since Ginny was now staring hard at her feet.
"Professor Dumbledore? But, wasn't he gone? When did he come back?"
"Just now dear. I'm sure you can talk to Harry as soon as he is finished with his meeting. I hear that there will be a feast tonight to celebrate."
"Celebrate Dumbledore's return?"
"I think that may play a role, but more so to celebrate..." Molly's eyes grew watery again and she burst into sobs.
"What's all this about?" said a stern voice, and Madame Pomfrey stuck her head through the door. She took one look at Ginny's pale exterior, as well as Hermione out of bed, and in moments had them all (including Mr and Mrs Weasley) in beds.
Ginny drew the curtains around herself, and tears welled up. She tried not to let them spill, but they poured down her cheeks despite herself. She was so stupid! She was a stupid, silly, little girl! She had caused so much pain and suffering. She had been so selfish...she had been...lonely.
And afraid.
And she had had no one to help her be brave. She didn't even know what being brave was!
The curtain slipped open and Ron showed his head.
"Can I, er...Can I talk to you?" he asked awkwardly.
Ginny, too shocked to say no, merely nodded her head.
"I've explained everything to Hermione," he said as he sat down on the edge of the bed.
"Oh," said Ginny, not making eye contact. "Ok."
"She doesn't blame you!" said Ron in a high pitched voice.
"Shhh!" Ginny hissed, although his shouting gave her an opportunity to wipe her eyes.
"Oh, right, sorry," Ron brought his voice back down to a whisper. A beat or two of silence later and he said, "No one does."
"Does what?"
"Blames you."
"I didn't know my name was 'no one'..."
It took Ron a moment, but then he smiled sadly, "You shouldn't blame yourself either. No one got hurt. Harry is alright! I'm alright! Only Goldi-Lockharts got any lasting damage, and no one really bothers about him anyway."
Ginny gave a strangled cough that could have been a giggle.
"So he was a fake?" she asked.
"Yeah, the dumb oaf! He tried to get rid of my memory!" Ron was smiling now and Ginny let her laugh out a little more.
"Not much difference that would have made, with a memory like yours!" she laughed some more and Ron joined in.
"Do mine ears deceive me, or is that my favourite sister laughing?" the curtains opened once more and two heads appeared one below the other.
"I'm your only sister!" said Ginny as she smiled at Fred and George.
"Doesn't stop you from being our favourite," said Fred.
"Or our most annoying," added George.
And the two jumped on the bed together, making Ginny bounce and giggle. She hadn't thought she'd be able to laugh ever again, but the twins had always been able to make her smile.
The bed settled and the three brothers stared at Ginny.
"You made us worry, little sister," said George, pulling himself up alongside Ginny and throwing his arm around her.
"And it's not fair that only little Ronnikins could come and save you," added Fred as he punched Ron in the arm.
"Ouch!" exclaimed Ron. "I can see I'm not wanted anymore," he mumbled and let himself out of the curtained bed area. Ginny was left just with her twin brothers who were both looking at her in a very serious way quite unlike them.
"We just want to know," said Fred eventually, "why you did it," ended George.
Ginny sighed. Here came the blame. Here came the guilt. Here came the heartbreak all over again. She didn't know if she could take it.
"I..."
"Don't answer us," said Fred suddenly. "Rather, just tell us why you didn't come to us?"
"Yeah..." whispered George. "We heard that you tried to tell Ron and Harry. We understand why you didn't tell Percy. But why didn't you come to us?"
Ginny sighed and said, "I didn't think you'd take me seriously."
Both twins stared at her in shock.
"We can be serious!" exclaimed Fred, which made Ginny smirk.
"Maybe," she said, "but I'm...I'm just...just...a silly little girl," the tears were coming again now. Her throat was clogged. Her eyes were burning. But worse than everything else, her heart was aching.
It beat and she felt guilt. It beat and she felt blame. It beat and she felt disappointment. It beat and she felt four arms wrap themselves around her.
"I thought we just told you that you're our favourite sister?" asked one of the twins. "And that includes you being a silly little girl."
The tears coursed down her cheeks, and a warmth flooded through her from the twins. She could feel their love. And she could feel their love fixing her from the inside. It felt like phoenix tears dropping on her insides, and slowly melting everything back to shape with warmth and love.
Yes, her heart was aching. But it was no longer breaking.
(A/N: This chapter took me a long time to write. It was one of the ideas that gave rise to this fanfic. Just to let you all know, I try and put up two chapters a month, but this next month might be a little bit lacking because I have exams coming up from 1 November to the 25th. I will still try and get a chapter up though, so don't despair! I'm still not too sure if I got Tom's manipulation of Ginny right, because she tried to get rid of the diary, but Tom ended up taking over her body again in any case, so he must have pulled some crazy trick to get her to trust him again. The only thing I could think of is that he got her to love him. He sees love as a way to use people, and that is why he considers it a weakness. Sorry if the Dream State is a little difficult to follow - especially when there is Ginny watching herself in the Chamber. Remember that the dream state all comes from Ginny's subconscious. So, as you can see, she has remembered what happened to her in the Chamber. Next to come: Snape gets angry :D Let me know what you think! Also, if you leave an anonamous review, it would be nice to give me a way to reply to you all! I try and reply to all my reviews! Wonderwhiterabbit hopping off!)