A/N: Everyone has been fabulous in their support for this story. I appreciate all the reviews and alerts. Happy reading!
Chapter 15
Elena's POV
"Damon" I yell louder hoping he will hear me as he runs into the night and comes back. I stare at the door for what seems like an eternity hoping he will pass back over the threshold, but the door remains closed. I can't blame him for running. After all the good he has tried to do, everyone still jumps to the worst possible scenario with him. My heart hurts seeing the pain that was etched across his face at everyone's reaction. My body shudders whether from the bone chilling cold I still feel or due to the fact that I am yet again causing Damon to hurt. I drop to the landing worried my legs will give out on me. Caroline lovingly wraps another blanket around my shoulders and I give her a small smile.
Stefan starts to walk up the stairs. "Are you okay?" I can only glare at him and at seeing my face he steps backwards off the stairs. As he looks at me I see his gaze drop slightly to my neck and then back to my eyes.
"How could you treat him like that, Stefan?" My gaze shifts away from Stefan to the others that hurt Damon and in many ways hurt me. "Jeremy, Bonnie, how can you think after all that has happened that Damon would intentionally hurt me." I just stare at the collection of eyes looking at me. "Why do you always assume he is evil incarnate?"
"He bit you, Elena." Stefan crosses his arms and glares at me.
"He didn't bite me, well technically he did, but I made him do it." I argue. "Were any of you there with us? No. Did any of you even ask if Damon was okay? No." My voice continues to rise with each statement as my anger boils over. Damon put his life on the line for me tonight, like he has done so many other times and he is ostracized for it.
"He bit you in the neck Elena, if it was so consensual why did you show up here semi-conscious?" Jeremy asks.
"Oh my god, Jeremy. Damon didn't want to drink my blood, I made him. I knew he would stay in control and I trust him not to hurt me. Did anyone of you even look at him? Did you notice he was covered in blood and his shirt was shredded? He was hurt really bad. A hybrid almost killed him." I yell down the stairs.
"Then he really should have known better, Elena. If he was hurt he never should have put your life at risk by feeding from you." Stefan counters frantically pacing the floor shoving his hands in and out of his pockets.
"Don't be a hypocrite, Stefan. I once fed you my blood to make sure we survived a fight. Damon's the one that found me and broke the spell that they used to lure me out of the house. He wanted me to leave, but then he would be dead. You're brother would be dead, Stefan. After everything I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't leave him to die and have you be without your brother." My tone softens.
"Elena, …" Stefan says.
"He's your brother Stefan. For almost 150 years he made your life miserable and you desperately wanted the brother from your human life back. He's trying Stefan. You may not be exchanging bro hugs on a regular basis, but he searched for you while you with Klaus, did his best to support your evil schemes when you were out for revenge and sat day after day in that basement when you dried out" I say urgently. Stefan shakes his head as he paces.
"Elena, you're my sister and I won't see you hurt again." Jeremy eyes are full of grief. I know seeing me in the hospital and now, yet again, carried in the door barely conscious is hard on him, but Damon has prevented much worse things from happening to me.
"I know your just trying to be a protective brother, but if it wasn't for Damon I wouldn't be here right now, Jer." His gaze drops to the floor and he shuffles to sit on the couch in the living room.
"You trust him too much not to hurt you, Elena. No offense Stefan, but we have to remember he is a vampire and could hurt you without even realizing it." Bonnie argues.
"You have no right to talk about hurting people Bonnie. I know what you did. Not telling Damon that he would experience my emotions after the spell was cast was cruel, Bonnie. A vampire struggles with their emotions to begin with. With all of the things we are going through in this town, my emotions are a mess. I can barely deal with them and you threw that burden on Damon without preparing him. Are you trying to push him over the edge?" I ask incredulously.
"No, I was trying to make him understand the tsunami that is Damon Salvatore and the damage and pain he leaves behind. You're my best friend and I won't see you destroyed, especially not by him." Bonnie clenches her fists at her sides.
"You're so worried about him hurting me, don't you think that your actions hurt me. I never want anyone to hurt because of me and now every painful thing I experience he has to go through as well. Klaus is after me, again, and on top of that burden I am trying to keep my emotions in check so as not to unduly burden and hurt Damon. Do you know how had that is? I never asked you to trust Damon, but I trust him. Once upon a time you trusted me enough to accept those I put my faith in." It's hard enough to keep up outward appearances day to day, but now I can't even feel my internal emotions that way I want as it forces Damon to experience the pain and misery that is in me. Damon has suffered enough in his life; I can't continue to add to it.
"You need to leave. You need to figure out how you will make amends to Damon." I order.
"We can't leave you alone. Not after them trying to grab you tonight" Stefan stares at me eyes wide.
"Caroline and Ric are here" I answer simply. "Go!"
Bonnie and Stefan look at each before silently heading out the door. Stefan glances over his shoulder, his eyes full of sadness before closing the door.
Jeremy trudges up the stairs and pauses a couple of steps below me so we are eye to eye. "I'm sorry. You know I only reacted the way I did because I love you and I was scared I would lose you" Jeremy says quietly.
"I love you too, Jeremy, but it's not me who you owe an apology too" I gently scold. He nods and heads into his room silently closing the door.
I slowly descend the stairs and head into the kitchen. Sitting down at the kitchen island, my body feels exhausted but my mind is running at a million miles an hour. Alaric slowly walks into the kitchen and leans against the sink his hands gripping the edge of the counter. I can't even look him in the eye as I feel so ashamed for hurting him.
"I know that look, don't blame yourself. It's my fault I taught you how to punch" he chuckles. Alaric pushes himself away from the sink and grabs the teapot, filling it with water. He places it on the stove and turns back to me.
"I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. The spell, it made it so I had to get out of the house at any cost" I tell Alaric quickly.
"Hey, I know. I know you would never hurt me unless there extenuating circumstances. Just like I know Damon wouldn't hurt you. Now, the rest of us, we're fair game." Alaric gives me a smile. How weird is my life that the vampire hunter that was once married to my birth mother is best friends with the vampire that turned my birth mother.
He grabs a mug and tea bag before pouring the hot water into the mug sliding it in front of me. Taking the warm mug in my hands I finally give him a small smile in return. "Thanks."
"Now, why don't you fill me in on what really happened out there tonight." He crosses his arms looking at me with concern.
After taking a sip of my tea, I launch into the story of the night's events. I give him the gory details of the witch, the hybrids, Klaus somehow being back, Damon almost dying, my pseudo rescue attempt, and giving my blood to Damon. All the while Alaric just listens and nods.
"He didn't want to feed from me, Ric. I was so out of it when we got home because I was practically hypothermic. He hardly took any blood." I just stare at him wide-eyed hoping he doesn't join the 'I hate Damon club.'
"Damon and I may not see eye to eye on a lot but we both agree that nothing will happen to you under our watch."
"Now, are you really okay?" Alaric's tone shows he is really worried about me.
"Still a little cold, but better." The warmth of the mug feels wonderful on my cold hands.
"Will you be okay here with Caroline, for a bit?" He asks.
"Yeah, why?" I take another sip of my tea my body finally has stopped shivering.
"I'll go see what bar my friend has bellied up to. Oh, God, I actually just admitted out loud that Damon is my friend. I think Hell just froze over." Alaric squeezes my shoulder as he walks by and I can't help but smile.
My smile quickly fades. "Please, tell him I'm really sorry" I say quietly looking at the floor. I am so mad at how Damon was treated and feel so guilty that he yet again almost died trying to save me.
Caroline comes in the front door after finishing patrolling the surrounding area for any signs of more danger. "Sorry, am I interrupting a stepdad-daughter moment?" Caroline stands her hands behind her back staring innocently at Alaric.
"Okay, you have been spending way too much time with Damon." He shakes his head and walks out the door waving over his shoulder.
Caroline blurs to the kitchen and starts opening cabinets one after another. "Where does Ric keep the alcohol?" Caroline scans the kitchen hands on her hips.
"Cupboard above the coffee pot" I answer. I watch a smile form on her face as pulls out the bottle of whiskey. She pulls two glasses from another cabinet and pours the brown liquor into each glass. She sets one of the glasses in front of me before sitting on a stool across from me.
"And what are we drinking to this fair evening, Caroline?" I look at her confused.
Caroline raises her glass. "He's to you falling for Damon and all his bad boy glory."
I reach out and push her glass back down. "I have not fallen for Damon" I say firmly. I have been fighting whatever is between us for months. My life is complicated enough without acknowledging anything more a friendship with the elder Salvatore.
"One does not go off on family and friends like you just did without there being some deep emotions 'Lena." She smiles at me slightly.
"He's my friend and he was being treated horribly" I argue.
"He's your friend….because your heart always beats a million miles an hour when you are with me and Bonnie." She winks. "I bet you are curious what he is like in bed. One word….fabulous. Now I did not like the compelling or when he bit me outside the throws of passion, but when he bit me during sex plus all the rest…..oh my." She stares off into space for minute fanning herself.
I just stare at my glass not knowing what to say. I can't believe my heart does that when Damon is around. Stupid body, stupid perceptive vampires, stupid Damon and his attractiveness, stupid Caroline for putting more images of a naked Damon in my head. Why does he have to make me feel safe, make me laugh? Stop it Gilbert, having feelings for Damon is not an option.
"Oh, speaking of Bonnie." Caroline seems to snap back to reality. "Nicely done with putting her in her place. I was so pissed at her when we found out what she did to Damon. He and I have our issues, but keeping us in the dark about the spell's side effects just goes beyond mean. I can't imagine having to feel the emotions of the person I love especially when they are in constant danger."
My eyes shoot up and look on Caroline's. She reaches out and grabs my hands. "Damon loves you Elena. I've never seen anyone love someone like he loves you. He's even trying to take a backseat to Stefan because it's what he thinks you want. But I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, am I?" Caroline looks intently at me and I can only shake my head.
"I'm not trying to be a bitch here, but you kind of take his love for granted. He's always there for you, never asking for anything in return. Now that he is over his whole, 'I want to torture my brother for eternity' phase, he could have left. He doesn't owe any of us anything, but he stayed. He stayed for you. The few times he has tried to get you to admit the feelings you have for him, which are obvious by the way, you kinda have thrown it back in his face." Caroline releases my hands and takes a sip from her drink.
"Geez, Caroline, tell me how you really feel." The truth always stings.
"I'm your friend. I tell it like it is." Caroline finishes her drink and pours another. "I see how you act around Damon, Elena. The elevated heartbeats and breath quickening give away you're physically attracted to him, but most women are. But you also seem more at ease when he's around, you actually smile occasionally, there is a fire in your eyes. The way you rely on him and defend him, you obviously see sides to Damon that no one else does. He's different too when he is around you." Caroline takes a large breath.
"If you really care for him, doesn't he deserve to know? Don't you both deserve a chance to make each other happy?" Caroline questions.
I swirl the liquid around my glass before taking a sip and wincing at the harsh burn in my throat. "I can't Caroline. I just…can't" I whisper.
"Can't or won't?" She raises an eyebrow at me.
"Stefan…"
"Is not your boyfriend anymore" Caroline interrupts matter-of-factly.
"He's barely holding on Caroline. It's like I'm all he has. When he was gone with Klaus I told him to hold on to our love. How do I turn my back on him and run into the arms of his brother? What kind of person would that make me going from one brother to the next?" It makes me Katherine is what it makes me. Why did they have to both fall in love with me?
"Oh, Elena. You can't stay chained to Stefan forever just to keep his bloodaholic ways at bay." She reaches out and squeezes my hand.
"It's not just for Stefan, Caroline. It's for Damon as well. They're brothers and they need each other. So many years were lost due to them hating each other. Stefan and Damon were finally in a better place before Stefan was forced back to his ripper ways. It was because of me they nearly lost each other again. If my staying as Stefan's lifeline lets them be brothers again then that's what I'll do."
"If there was no Stefan, what would you do? What would you want Elena? You deserve to be happy." Carline says softly. Happiness is the last thing I deserve. So many lives lost because of me, so many broken dreams and disrupted futures because of me. I want to love, but my love seems to come at too high of a price.
"Did you know that some legends indicate the appearance of a doppelganger is the sign of death, a harbinger of evil? I'm starting to think those legends are right. I don't deserve happiness, Caroline. Loving me only ends in death and destruction." My voice sounds small and hollow even in my own ears. I finish my drink and pour another shot downing it quickly.
"Elena!" Caroline chastises.
"If both Salvatores know what's good for them, they will run far away from me." I lay my head on the kitchen island fighting to keep the tears at bay.
Caroline comes around and pulls me into a hug. "None of this is your fault Elena. You deserve to be happy. You will be happy. You just need to look inside yourself and figure out what you want. If Damon or Stefan can make you happy then be with one of them. If not, tell them to take a hike." She smiles at me. "You, me, and Bonnie can go all Charlie angels on their asses to make them leave town." Both of us burst into giggles.
"Don't give up on the happy ending Elena. Prince Charming might be closer than you think." We walk arm and arm upstairs and collapse on my bed. We sit in silence and I just stare at the ceiling trying not to think of Damon.
Damon's POV
Once I left Elena's I sped to the Boarding House to drain as many blood bags as I could get down and clean up since I was still covered in blood and my shirt was full of bullet holes. Not wanting to linger and have baby brother, yet again accuse me of all that is that is wrong with the world, I left. I was forced to go on foot since that bastard hybrid caused me to flip my beloved car.
Wandering aimlessly had me ending up at the Grille. If I ever needed a drink it was right now. I must have looked like shit because the bartender was smart enough to just set the bottle of bourbon and a glass in front of me walking away without a word, no compulsions necessary. God, I want to go on a killing spree, but my Elena imposed moral compass is keeping me in check. What happened earlier wasn't her fault and jumping off the edge like in the good ole days will only hurt her. It didn't take long for someone to occupy the bar stool next to me. I didn't need to turn my head to know it is Alaric.
"Here to deliver more heartwarming messages from the Justice League of supernatural creatures? You can report back to Elena that no one is dead and I haven't done anything stupid." I down all the bourbon in my glass in a single shot still not looking at him.
"I beg to differ. You're a dick, you know. Elena is at home really upset." Alaric motions to the bartender for a glass. I tip the bottle pouring him two fingers of liquor which he downs quickly motioning for more. Does he forget already that I can feel she is upset?
"That's me, the evil, selfish ass. Besides, it was enough of a traumatic night for her. She didn't need me sticking around so the scream fest could continue." I really didn't mean for her to hear the things I said. I was just so pissed that yet again I'm the bad guy, so I decided to play into the role.
"Well the scream fest did continue even without you." Alaric sighs and I look at him in confusion. "Elena went off on Jeremy, Stefan, and Bonnie for thinking you could hurt her." Alaric chuckles. "I've only ever seen her yell at you like that. It was actually pretty priceless. You should have stuck around for the show."
Damn, that girl always seems to surprise me. I knew she wouldn't let them continue to think I had hurt her but I didn't think she would defend me so vehemently. "She yelled at them, even Stefan?"
"Even Stefan." Alaric confirms taking a sip of his drink.
"Elena definitely has the Petrova fire." I raise my glass to Alaric. "To Petrova women." Alaric and I tap glasses.
"To Petrova women." He answers before finishing his drink. He grabs the bottle refilling his glass. "Oh, she also let Bonnie have it about the spell."
"She knows about that? Who told her?" I was hoping to keep that from her until the connection wore off.
"Yeah, um, last night she stopped me from drunk dialing a girl I recently met and she used it as leverage to make me confess what the fight was about" Alaric says sheepishly.
"Such a good role model" I say sarcastically.
"Since no one said it, thank you. If you hadn't found her, she might be gone forever. Bonnie never was able to locate her. Their witch must have been able to block her. And the drinking thing from Elena….normally I don't condone you using us lowly humans as chew toys, but I know you only did it because you had to. Not that I want to feed you're overly inflated ego, but I am pretty impressed with your control especially since you are such an impulsive asshole." He gives me a drunken grin.
"I'll take that as a complement Ricky." I pour more liquor into each of our glasses.
Alaric starts to laugh as he swirls his drink. "The great Damon Salvatore has his ass saved by an eighteen year old girl."
I can't help but groan. Elena must have told him the whole story of what happened. "You do realize that same eighteen year old girl knocked your ass out." I smirk.
"Doesn't leave the bar?" Alaric looks at me.
"Agreed." I answer as we toast.
"Hey, do we need to worry about your brother?" Alaric suddenly asks.
Flashes of Stefan holding a blood bag a few days come to my mind. "Why?"
"He just seems so much more on edge since he's been back. I expected him to be settling back to his old self by now, more like he was before Klaus."
"Big brother is watching. Don't worry." If Alaric is picking up on Stefan being more on edge than I better keep an even closer eye on him.
After Alaric was sufficiently drunk I loaded him into his SUV and drive him home. I watch him stagger up the front porch and Caroline leaves a few minutes later giving me a wave as she blurs into the night. Walking around to the side of the house, I sit down under Elena's window, preparing to do protection detail from here. I can hear her pacing around, stopping briefly to exchange a few words with Alaric. The window swings open above me and I hear Elena sit down on her bed. I jump up to the roof and climb through.
"You called" I wiggle my eyebrows at her. Elena just stares into my eyes. As I look at her sitting on her bed I remember her pressing the knife to her throat and risking her life for me and my anger starts to bubble up. Elena starts to open her mouth to say something.
"Nope" I pop the 'p', "No speeches. Now, we have been training you to be the next Buffy so you can defend yourself, not save sorry ass vampires." I glare at her.
"Damon, I wasn't about to let you die." Elena argues.
I move to kneel before her. "I am grateful that you saved this gorgeous ass, but I have lived multiple lifetimes and you haven't even lived one. Your live is more valuable. The next time I say run. You. Run." I say firmly.
"No one else dies for me Damon." Elena says firmly. "I…I can't watch anyone else suffer because they are trying to save me." Elena's voice wavers.
I grasp her hands. "We will survive this Elena, all of us. Whatever is going on with Klaus and his evil minions, we will end this once and for all. You have wasted enough of your life on that asshat. Stefan and I will make sure it ends this time for good. Understand?" Elena nods her head. I can see the unshed tears fighting to escape, but by shear will she keeps them at bay. I look at our join hands and see I the skin is torn over her knuckles where she hit Alaric. I look at her neck and see that Caroline only bandaged my bite mark, but didn't touch where she cut herself. I blur to the bathroom and return with the first aid kit.
"Caroline missed some of your war wounds." Kneeling back in front of Elena again, I start to clean her wounds. "Are you sure I didn't hurt you?"
"I'm fine. Damon, I'm sorry." Elena looks as me with her eyes full of sorrow and guilt. I can feel the guilt weighing on her.
"Not your fault that I'm stupid enough to let a hybrid get a couple of good shots in." I apply some antiseptic to her wounds.
Elena ignores my attempt at humor and stares into my eyes. I can tell she wants a heart to heart and I am really not in the mood for it. "Damon, I'm sorry for the way everyone acted today. It was wrong after all the good you've done."
"This little vampire has a thick skin. No big deal." I finish bandaging her wounds. I start to move away but she grabs my hands keeping me in place.
"It is a big deal. You're not what they think you are Damon. Don't play into their ideas of you. You really have become the better man, Damon. Never think otherwise." She lets go of my hands. The tears she has been fighting so hard to keep back final fall. "If Klaus is really back, you need to take Stefan and leave. He will come after you first and I won't lose you, either of you. Everyone needs to run. Please, just leave" she begs.
I sit next to her on the bed, wrapping my arms around her and pull her against my chest. "I'm not leaving Elena. I'll compel everyone else if you want them to leave, but I'm here until Klaus is dead."
A/N: I struggled with this chapter and I am still not sure if I can conveyed Elena's conflicted emotions well enough. Please review.