TTGL: So This is the Heavens

Omake Issue 2:Gurren's Pony

A/N: Another light hearted Omake here, this one dedicated to Shade the Bat.

This week's main chapter may be late as I've let certain things pile up for too long so I'm just forewarning that if push comes to shove, chapter twenty may be released next week instead. If so, I apologise in advance.

Anyway, enjoy the omake while I get to work on chapter 20.

-FWF

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Kamina crossed his legs and closed his eyes. The rhythmic beat of the Dai-Gurren's steps rocked his body slightly as he cleared his mind. His room was as dark as possible and all distractions had been removed.

He began his meditation and reached out for his inner soul. Slowly, almost unnoticeably, the darkness began to shift and change into his dreamscape. Volcanoes in the distance like looming gods watched over the scene that was strewn with broken mecha. Gears, wires screws and scrap mental were heaped in piles and covered the ground like snow.

In the middle of the scrap stood a man with long, ruffled blue hair, a large red cloak and an assortment of skulls about his body. One of his arms were metal. Kamina made his way over to this man.

"Gurren. I need your help with something." he asked to his zanpakuto's back.

"Shhh." hushed Gurren distractedly. "I'm working on something that needs all of my concentration. It shall be a masterpiece."

"Hey, that sounds pretty cool. Is it a new kickass and manly attack for me?"

Gurren turned his head to face Kamina. "Yeah, I guess it is. A move that will further your badass appeal to certain audience groups."

"Sweet. Does it show my true manliness that will have women love me and man respect me?"

"Women will definitely love you." said Gurren before turning back to his work. He clanged around for several moments as Kamina leaned gradually closer to inspect his sword's project.

Gurren pushed him down the hill of scrap. By the time Kamina had managed to scramble back to the top Gurren cried out triumphantly in his gruff voice. "Finished!"

"Can I see now or are you gonna try and throw me through another pile of sharp and rusted metal?"

"Sure." answered Gurren, stepping aside to allow Kamina to observe his masterpiece.

Kamina stepped up beside Gurren and gazed at the construct before them. Segmented metal plates covered a tight pack of gears. Four legs of pistons and springs supported a sleek and streamlined body while an elongated head sat proudly atop with a flowing mane of hair that billowed in the ever present breeze.

"You like it?" asked Gurren after a few seconds of silence.

"…it's a frickin' pony."

"Hey, ponies are cool, everybody knows that. It will improve your ratings with the younger female audience as they love ponies and they look generally badass." argued Gurren indignantly.

"I don't care about the younger female audience, I want the hot sixteen onward females. Also, how the hell are ponies badass?"

Firstly, Yoko is in the younger female audience-"

"Hey, that was a misunderstanding! The records say she was eighteen and that se just counted wrong!" shouted Kamina, quick to dispel any hints of paedophilia. "That is the Word of God, believe it!"

Gurren continued unfazed. "Secondly, the badass John Marston from the kickass game Red Dead Redemption rode a unicorn that only served to increase his badass and manly reputation."

Kamina considered this for a moment. "Hmm. You're right! It did make him cooler. Okay, how do I use this thing then?"

Gurren waved him closer. "Right, to use it in battle you whisper whisper whisper."

"Got it!"

Kamina shook himself from his meditation, a huge smile upon his face. He was just leaving his room when the Dai-Gurren's alarms began to sound. Instantly he broke into a sprint to see what was going on.

A short distance across the field from the battleship was a group of hollows. They were charging toward the shinigami, baying for blood.

"Should we fire the cannons?" asked one of the gunners to Kamina as he emerged on deck.

"Nah, don't waste the ammo. I want to try something new so leave them to me." Kamina responded before jumping off the side.

He hit the ground and rolled, running the second he was back on his feet. When he was a safe distance from the Dai-Gurren he stopped and waited for the hollows to come to him.

"The little shinigami wants to die." growled one hollow.

"We can grab him and forget the rest of that monster." hissed another.

Kamina pointed his blade at them. "Your evil ends here scum." He focussed his power and took his shades from his side, throwing them into the air and slashing at them with his sword. The glasses shattered, emitting a bright light.

"Cut us a path, Odin!" he called. From the light appeared a mechanical pony which he leapt on top of.

The hollows stared a moment with mouths open then began to laugh hysterically. "What the hell's that? You're fighting us on a pony? Ha ha ha!" they cackled.

The pony neighed and a tree exploded. Kamina turned it around and fired a rainbow from its ass that disintegrated one of the hollows and left the others no longer laughing. They pounced at him but the pony sprang over their heads, firing more rainbow lasers as it passed them.

Turning again it opened its mouth and began to shoot sweets, candy and chocolates at the hollows like a machinegun, the sugary treats ripping through their corrupt flesh.

"Can't spell sugar without GAR!" laughed Kamina.

The hollows all fell with several slugs of sweets imbedded within them then faded away. Kamina dismounted and the pony poofed away, leaving Kamina's shades intact where the equine had been stood.

He returned to the Dai-Gurren amidst a mass of cheering shinigami. Several fangirls swarmed him.

"Kamina you're so cool."

"So manly and in touch with your feelings"

"Ponies and hot men, you tick all of the boxes."

Kamina pushed his way through the girls and was confronted by Renji. They stared at each other silently for a few seconds before Renji spoke.

"Bronies?"

"Bronies."

"Brohoof!" they both exclaimed, knocking knuckles before Kamina was carries away by a tide of women.